Social Shinobi

REC 3: Genesis

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 10:07:00 +0000

As a huge fan of the first two [REC] films, I am both eagerly anticipating and slightly dreading watching REC 3: Genesis, mostly because the "Genesis" prefix has me a little bit worried, and early rumours that it doesn't quite live up to the greatness of the first two films.

For those of you not familiar with the first two films, they are Spanish found footage horror films that were absolutely fantastic. The third film, a parallel sequel to the first two, was released earlier this year in Spain and is almost set for an international release.

Take a look at all three trailers below in sequence. Consider it an education.

Cult Classic Quest #4 - Escape from New York

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 13:11:00 +0000

Prepare to field old...welcome to the world of Escape from New York, where the future is 1997.

The story? Air Force One has been forced to crash into Manhattan, which has been turned into a maximum security prison. Only one man is tough enough to go in and rescue him...only catch is, the man is about to become an inmate!

Snake Plisskin, ex-special forces, about to be sent in to New York for life, is given to opportunity to be pardoned his crimes if he is willing to rescue the president and his briefcase within 22 hours. The alternative? Death.

Now, Snake doesn't like being told what to do. His rugged stubble and eye-patch means only one thing: Bad attitude. The worst thing you can do as a person who is still alive is to stay the hell out of his way. Forced to comply, he sets off to rescue the president from the Duke of New York, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve...

Okay folks, I love the "Escape from" films, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a remake soon. Snake is played to perfection by Kurt Russell, who chews up every scene he is in like an angry pitbull. That said, the film is quite dated and while it is still enjoyable, it is quite hard to immerse yourself into the slightly dystopian "future" portrayed in the film.

What helps is a great supporting cast, the most well-known of which is the late Ernest Borgnine, who's characteristic silliness brings a slightly lighter but strangely more macabre feel to Snake's adventures in the run-down New York.

That said, it is definitely still worth the watch and I am very exciting about watching the 1996 follow-up, Escape from New York, which I am sure will be fantastic.

One more thing: The Duke of New York has a car that will make even Xzibit go "Damn!":

Cult-o-meter: 5/10 - John Carpenter, king of chaos, manages to create a character that will be remembered way past his sell-by date. Its a slight pity the film itself hasn't aged too well. Beware the 80's cleavage.

Doctor Who Season 7 trailer

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 10:18:00 +0000

Thanks to a forumite over at Evilsod, I just watched the trailer for the new season of Doctor Who. For those of you who might not know, Doctor Who is the best thing that has ever existed, and will ever exist. Am I exaggerating? Hah...no.

Feats your eyes on this:

Also, there is this wallpaper:

Delightful stuff!

Cult Classic Quest #3 - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:48:00 +0000

For those of you that don't know, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a film based on a Broadway show of the same name. Yes, it is a musical.

The entire film, song and dance included, is a parody on old campy horror and sci-fi films and at the same time it pays tribute to good, old-fashioned rock and roll.

Starring Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick (who goes on to be the mayor from Spin City) and the fantastic Tim Curry, to name a few, you are swept up in a humorously cliche tale of a mad scientist terrorising a newly engaged couple that happen to intrude in his castle on the night he chooses to reveal his greatest accomplishment...artificial life.

When Janet and Brad find themselves stranded on a rainy night, they seek shelter in Dr. Frank-N-Furter's castle which is filled to the brim with tap dancers, henchmen, crazy french maids and once incredibly insane transsexual Transylvanian mad scientist...the doctor himself, played to perfection by Tim Curry.

Sadly, only the first half or three-quarters of the film is really watchable (or listenable), but that definitely still makes it a worth while watch. Who doesn't want to see Meatloaf break out of a giant freezer on a motorbike, only to be chopped to pieces with a pickaxe?

I was quite intrigued by the fact that the film is so rawly sexual. For the duration of the film, most of the cast spends their time on-screen in various degrees of undress, and sexual preference is completely disregarded as the castle seems to employ a free love policy which most of the characters embrace quite quickly, and often comically. I am really just surprised that this film was accepted as widely as it was back in 1975
though.

Cult-o-meter: 8.5/10 - Like it or not, this film has a gigantic fan base and fits squarely into the definition of a true cult classic. Tim Curry is masterful.

Cult Classic #2 - Starship Troopers

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 10:27:00 +0000

After Robocop, I decided to stick with Verhoeven again. I've seen Starship Troopers a few times but I decided to take a look at it from a different angle (and I really don't mean the strategic use of pause).

Starship Troopers is a masterpiece. It might have been made 15 years ago but it definitely still holds up as a sci-fi classic. As with Robocop, it doesn't take itself too seriously but there is quite a fair amount of social commentary, the media once again being the target. Verhoeven has stepped it up since Robocop, turning the futuristic interactive newscasts into pure propoganda for "citizenship", aka military recruitment.

The film follows Johnny Rico, who joins the military to try and stay close to his oh-so-young girlfriend, played by a young (and probably pre-Charlie Sheen) Denise Richards. Factor in Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Ironside and a host of other recognizable "that guy" actors, this film is filled to the brim with class.

We see Johnny all the way through a catastrophic turn in boot camp, a near catastropic invasion of the bug planet and ... well, loads of other things that end up being catastrophic. The plot is very simple, and Starship Troopers could easily have falled into obscurity but somehow the whole cocktail just works. It is easily accessible sci-fi without being bad sci-fi. It has a bit of romance, loads of action and as I said before, a stellar cast. It might not be an Oscar winner but it was never meant to be.

The action scenes are spectacular and they never skimp on violence. A minute into the film dismembered limbs are flying like confetti and I respect that. Why be conservative in a film like this? Verhoeven knows who his target audience is, and delivers. Nudity? Why not! Violence and blood that will put any other R-rated romp to shame? Yes! Likeable characters that, while being stereotypes, are surprisingly likeable? Definitely.

Okay, so I haven't mentioned the "bugs" yet, but they are glorious. If you are planning on making an action sci-fi, give the people with guns something to shoot at. Copy, paste. Genius.

Its easy to see why fan screenings of this film is still being held in New York city yearly. It utterly deserves the title of being a "cult classic" because I will love this film for years to come, and a few more after that.

Cult-o-Meter: 9/10 - Starship Troopers is a true cult classic. While masquerading a cheesy sci-fi it transcends genre and becomes a film that most (non-sensitive) people can enjoy. Also, boobs.

Cult Classic #1 - Robocop

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 12:17:00 +0000

I decided to start my quest with Paul Verhoeven's Robocop. Let me just start by saying, I think Verhoeven is a bit of a visionary. He manages to blend violence and a hit of camp with characters that you actually care about, though for the life of me I am not sure why.

The same goes for Robocop. When the ending credits rolled, I coudln't help but smile as Murphy walked away triumphantly from the OCP boardroom. Somewhere inbetween Murphy being blown to pieces, reassembled as a crime-fighting cyborg and loads of violence, Verhoeven just likes to to remind is that while Robocop is half machine, his spirit will never be broken. Cheesy, but surprisingly endearing.

This all comes as quite a surprise, especially in a movie that oozes sleaze as deliciously as Robocop. From the get-go, slightly "futuristic" Detroit seems quite believable as a city where crime is out of control, and I found myself wondering the plot for 8 Mile was taking place off-camera somewhere.

I have to say, Kurtwood "Red" Smith stole the show as Clarence Boddicker, the film's main protagonist. Sadistic and strangely charismatic, he chews up and spits out his dialogue with such enthusiasm that it takes the film to a whole new level.

I was slightly disappointed with the ED-209, I hoped it would be a tad more formidable but judging by how terribly it was animated, a decision must have been made to cut down on its screen time.

As I stated earlier, I enjoyed Robocop more than I thought I would. I was expecting a 80's violence-fest and while I wasn't disappointed, Verhoeven crafted a cult classic with inspired casting, sufficient amounts of violence and an unexpected amount of charisma.

One question remains: Seeing as Robocop eats baby food, does he also poop? Some questions might never be answered.

Cult-o-meter: 5/10 - Great film, doesn't take itself too seriously but still manages to wag a finger at media and corporations.

The Cult Classic Film Adventure 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 11:55:00 +0000

I've recently become slightly disillusioned with not only most new film releases, but my own collection as well, which is something that I want to rectify.

I love films, and I especially love those that people talk about years after they've been watched. So, I decided to embark on a grand adventure to explore not only the films that I love but haven't seen for a long time, but also the cult classic films that I've always wanted to watch but I've not gotten around to.

I asked on the forums for a few suggestions, and you should be able to find my entire list on there as well. Oh, did I mention I will post a little something after every one that I watch?

Can't wait!

Die Antwoord - Baby's On Fire

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 19:55:00 +0000

When I heard about the new Die Antwoord music video "Baby's On Fire" earlier today, an excited shiver ran down my spine. I've loved these guys since their first gig at Ramfest III and with the amount of passion that goes into their work, I'm not surprised at all that they are kicking serious ass in the overseas.

"Baby's On Fire", from Die Antwoord's new album TEN$ION, delivers as always - they manage to shock and somehow exhilarate at the same time and I love the hell out of it.

Why are you even still reading this? Watch it NOW,and let me know what you think:

(nsfw)

Are they getting even better? Yes. Yes they are.

A Nolan Bond? Hell yes!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 11:49:00 +0000

I find it quite it surprising that the internet is not more abuzz with the latest news from Christopher "Take All My Money Now" Nolan, but Batman news is most likely smothering any other delicious bit of news and speculation about the writer / director's future. This article has me really excited, though.

According to Empire magazine, Nolan has always been a Bond fan and would like to take a shot at a 007 film somewhere in the future. Now, this is obviously something that might never pan out but I can only imagine what someone like " Please Write All Future Scripts Of All Movies Ever" Nolan could do with another well-established franchise.

Inception meets Casino Royale? Take all my money now! (See?)

A New Yorker's Fantastic Voyage

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 13:54:00 +0000

I recently stumbled across this article on the New Yorker website - a tribute to Community, Doctor Who and fandom.

I would like you all to read it. Here is an extract:

"Though that show had its charms, I was surprised, and delighted, to find that the modern “Doctor Who” has a very different emphasis: it’s a show about relationships, in an epic and mythological vein. Certainly, the show has plenty of the classic “Doctor Who” pleasures, albeit with more sophisticated effects: there are seafaring pirates; a metallic England floating on a giant “Star Whale”; and a factory full of avatar-laborers whose faces melt off like goo. The Doctor himself is a pale, puppyish genius who shares several qualities with Moffat’s modernized Sherlock Holmes, including fashion affectations (he insists that bow ties are cool, then fezzes, then cowboy hats) and a Professor-from-“Gilligan’s Island” allure. The show’s strength, however, is not its one-off stories but its longer arcs, a structural breakthrough of “The X-Files,” which modelled the notion that episodic TV could be woven together with powerful, season-long themes, inspiring the more complex breed of modern shows, both sci-fi and regular-fi."

Doctor Who: The Post That Waited

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:51:00 +0000

As some of you might know, I am an avid Doctor Who fan. I have fallen for the Whovian way and, I must admit, it is a double-edged sword. When an episode airs the excitement is almost tangible, but the wait in-between seasons is excruciating as no other film or series can fill the gap left by the adventures of the Doctor and his companions.

A lot of people mention to me that they have heard about Doctor Who, or even seen bits of it but it always seems a complicated affair. Why does the actor change? What is it about? Why should I be watching this?

I will try and answer a few of these questions.

First off, we'll start with the history of the show itself. The first series aired from 1963 to 1989; it was revived in 2005 and has been going strong ever since. There have been 11 actors who've played the reputable role of the Doctor, which works as a plot device. Whenever a doctor gets seriously injured he has the ability to regenerate his health, as a side effect his appearance and his personality changes. This allows each actor to play the Doctor in their own way, instead of trying to mimic the behaviour of the previous actor.

So, what is it all about? Simply, it follows the adventures of the Doctor, a quasi-immortal eccentric alien that travels space and time in his ship, the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space), along with the companions he meets along the way.

Now, I knew all of this a long time ago and I brushed the show aside and it is sometimes easy to see why. A big part of the show comes with a healthy dose of cheese, but once you realise that every single aspect of the show is intricately planned, it dawns on you that while some shows can't help but be terrible, Doctor Who toys with its own limitations and brands the entire "feel" of the show as part of its own unique mythology. While they might be "touched up" a little, enemies and alien races like the Cybermen and Daleks are left mostly unchanged from their 60's origins. They may look like something that escaped from Flash Gordon, but, although their designs might be over 50 years old, they are as evil as they come.

Not all the races are old-school, though. Enemies like the Silence will make sure you sleep with the light on...

Okay so, why should you be watching Doctor Who, and why can't I stop blathering on about it? Simply because, few other shows put as much effort into their writing. How often do you leave the cinema or finish watching a promising show that just leaves you underwhelmed? Not so with Doctor Who. You never know what to expect; there are no half measures. What would happen if you get stuck in the nightmares of children? What would happen if the entire universe had to stop existing? What would happen if the entire planet gets colonised by a race of extraterrestrials? If you can think it, it can happen.

Besides the sheer level of imagination that goes into making the show, the writing is second to none. As the showrunners are mere mortals there might be one or two episodes that you aren't that fond of but as a whole, there is nothing better...especially since the show was taken over by (all praise be his name) Steven Moffat. He's been an avid fan of the show for years and wrote a few of the more memorable episodes (Blink, anyone?) before succeeding Russel T. Davies as the lead writer and executive producer.

I can honestly say that while I love the earlier seasons, his involvement with the show has not only turned the show into the fan favourite it is today, it has smoothed over issues with the show that might make it hard to approach as a new viewer - while elevating the quality of the series to new heights. Did I mention his other writing credits include Sherlock and Coupling? He also co-wrote Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin, which speaks for itself. Okay, clearly I have a bit of a writer -crush on the man, so sue me.

Take a look at this trailer for Season 6 to get an indication of the direction the show has taken, and to get an idea of what you're in for:

What else is there to say? Doctor Who is everything you want from excellent television. Seasons all tie in together in some way or another, so watching all of it is definitely a rewarding experience. Plots are meticulously thought out and brought to life with charm, wit and loads of heart. It scares you; it makes you laugh. I won't mind admitting a slight manly tear here and there.

On a side-note, the current incarnation of the Doctor (portrayed to perfection by Matt Smith) is definitely my favourite, and while we are gearing up for Season 7, I will enjoy the last few episodes with Rory the Roman and The Girl Who Waited as companions - but I eagerly await new adventures, new companions and - eventually - new incarnations of the Doctor. I am definitely part of this show for life.

Star Wars 1313

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:39:00 +0000

I've been rewatching the "enhanced" Star Wars films the last while, and I couldn't help but scoff at how they were butchered by George Lucas. No, I'm not even talking about Anakin and JarJar, I'm talking about all the "additions" made to the originals which are such a contrast that it essentially ruins a few of my favourite scenes.

That is another discussion for another time, though. The point I am trying to make is that there is loads of potential in the Star Wars universe. There are countless amazing stories that have been penned and imagined, most of which exceed the original franchise materials but somewhere the people that make the big decisions have dumbed it down to a level where most fans just prefer to give up on the Star Wars universe.

Now and then a bit of news gives us all new hope, though (see what I did there?). This week it takes the shape of Star Wars 1313, a new game that is in development.

The player will take the role of a as yet unnamed bounty hunter that uses a range of exotic weapons to plough through 1313, a very dangerous location on or underneath Coruscant, to bring criminals to justice. By justice, I am pretty sure they mean "a messy and violent death".

The game promises to cater for a more mature audience, with epic set pieces and fast gameplay.

I am definitely holding thumbs. I enjoyed Force Unleashed 1 and Knights of the Old Republic but something fresh is definitely needed. Though, I haven't tried the Star Wars MMO.

Damn kids and their Diablo 3: The lament of a console gamer

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:11:00 +0000

So, as many of you might or might know, I was born in the 80's. My first images as a self-aware human being was MC Hammer pants, neon and Vanilla Ice hairstyles. The first sounds my ears ever processed and accepted as the norm was friendly pre-gangster rap. Notorious was still BIG, before he changed sex and changed his name to Missy Elliot.

This all meant one fantastic thing: Years later I would be of optimal age to play Diablo 2. Anything else was quire irrelevant, really. I have to humbly admit that I did not play the first Diablo as I was only exposed to my Golden China console and a bit later, the 8-bit Sega console. Yeah I know, if I had better grades I would probably have gotten the shiny Megadrive but that is a completely different story (read: rant).

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes. Fast forward to me, a spotty teenage kid with loads of time to waste. Enter, Diablo 2.

My life was over. Had I guessed that I would still be playing it near 12-years later I would have paid it a little more respect but I jumped right in and devoured every minute of it.

From the first Act it was a non-stop race to the finish and once you were done nothing could stop you from doing it all again. You needed more loot...you needed better loot and you needed to make the world of Sanctuary a better place to live in.

Mephisto runs, Council runs, Smith runs...these were my world, and now and then I would complete the Cow Level for a few laughs. It was the ultimate game. Its cut scenes were magnificent and still exceeds most game cinematics today, its playability was par none and the longevity speaks for itself.

Okay, so you've now noticed that this is another one of my sugar-coated nostalgia trips but I ensure you, it is a lot more bitter than that.

I've made you read all of this just so you can clearly emphasise how much I wish I was playing Diablo 3 right now. Why in the name of all 7 Lesser Evils am I writing this blog instead of pimping my magic-find kit?

If your answer was: "You probably just felt like ranting about something" then you are only half right. Three quarters. Four fifths. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

What does matter than this... Blizzard, as a console gamer, I beseech thee! Don't let my decision to be a console gamer stand between my and sweet, sweet levelling. Is it so bad that all I want to do is travel east, always east?

Sigh, I guess that means it is time to upgrade my pc. My pc is an asshole.

Diablo 2, I will never forget you.

2012: The End Is Nigh

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:45:00 +0000

Good day, fine people of the internet.

This is an official announcement to say that your worst nightmares have come true: I will indeed be using my words and saving them in blog format again. Soon. Very soon.

It has been a full year since last I horrified the nations of the world by jamming my razor sharp wit, impeccable taste and comedic timing down your throats but I have decided that enough is enough, and you all need to be punished.

Punished for your insolence. Read my words, people...actually, yeah, that's about it. Read my words.

In this blog or the next, till death do us part.

Amen.

A Golden Ambition

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:32:00 +0000

So, its Saturday night and my better half and I are indulging in a bit of music nostalgia, playing all the songs that we either haven't listened to in years or, more appropriately, wouldn't be caught dead listening to in public.

Like intrepid but wary time travelers we explored a few of the landmarks from the fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties all the way through to the naughties and as I was laying on my bed watching my girl dance and sing to all the songs that REALLY make you happy, I was suddenly hit with a bit of a revelation, although not quite on an Archimedes level. I'll leave that to the pioneers, I'm merely a humble historian, devoutly rememering (and sometimes worshipping) at the feet of the artists that have come before.

So, every now and then an artist "brings back" the sound of a previous generation and oh god, do we love it when it happens. We all have our tie-dye ready for action at a moment's notice and most of you are secretly still buttering up those leather pants...just in case.

The question is, why? Why ever feel the need to re-live a time and sound that some of us are even to young to remember? Of course, it makes perfect sense listing to old music and loving the hell out of it, but what I'm referring to is some artists would try and recreate the sounds of generations past. This isn't a bad thing, not at all, but why?

As I'm sitting here typing, Hootie & the Blowfish's "Let Her Cry" serenading in my ears, the answer suddenly seemed perfectly obvious: We hate growing up.

Since the mid-2000's, music taste and artists have reached a certain level of maturity with the material they write, which is the sole reason the whole world stops and takes notice when an artist suddenly dons green spandex, suspenders and "that sound" that we all love...try as we can, we just seem to recreated the magic and innocence of a time where the world and the entertainment industry was more innocent.

It's a lot more clear when you look at the film industry: Think of the feeling you get when watching The Goonies, or watching that first episode of Friends again, compared to most of what you see today. Every movie coming out promises to be the "next great Spielberg" or the "best thing since Jaws", etc.

It just doesn't happen, and if you don't understand what I'm on about then you obviously haven't been on the receiving end of one of my rants. Essentially, we are dealing with a bit of an identity crises.

With so many influences and billions of songs available at our fingertips daily, we seem to have gotten stuck in a creative catch 22. Another practical example? What music, exactly, do we like listening to when having a beer, having around with our friends?

What will teh current big hits be remembered for? I know I'll probably never think back fondly at a "Hits of 2011" compilation but hell, you'll have to pry my Queen cd out of my cold dead hands one day.

To be fair, I love a lot of our modern music, but you all know what I'm talking about: we just seem to have lost what makes golden oldies so golden... spirit.

Now, before all of you wii-fit-fu my ass because I'm hatin', consider for a moment that I'm not criticizing at all, I'm merely pointing out the state of affairs as a generality, I'm not commenting on individual artists...I believe that the world currently has some of the finest talent available to it in the history of the world.

So, what has changed? What has vanquished the esteemed "golden" attribute of music in the last few years? Aspiration.

I often hear people complain about artists just performing to be famous and not for the love of the music, or how its all about the money. Honestly? I think people need to look a bit deeper into the whole situation.

Let's consider two artists: Ozzy Osbourne and Dr. Dre.

Do you think Ozzy Osbourne started performing just for the love of music? That's definitely part of it, a dire need to share your soul and sound with the world but deep down Ozzy wanted to be on a stage, biting the head off a bat, with millions of people looking up at him in awe, horror and very often ... lust.

Do you think Dr. Dre never wanted the money, the bling or the status? Yes, the man has an exceptional ear for sound and talent but he definitely knew that he wanted the bling, the shorty's and the street cred.

Now, I'm not saying that their need for fame drove them to success but, if you are really honest with yourself, isn't that all a part of it? We want to be rockstars.

These days, however, we seem to be content with mediocrity and fleeting fame, for the most part. That's the point I'm getting to. Perhaps, just perhaps, we need more people who strive to be on top of the world, who live and love to perform on stage and who, now and then, want to drive a Rolls Royce into a champagne-filled swimming pool filled with naked wenches, high as a kite.

Perhaps.

Evilsod launches!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:38:00 +0000

So, for anyone who knows anything about the local online community will be aware that Evilsod has recently launched, with the potential to be the cream-of-the-crop when it comes to South African-based forums.

If you aren't a member, join now! Discuss films, make jokes, or take someone on in no-holds-barred verbal combat! Whatever your poison is, ES delivers.

See you there...and you can call me Maelstrom!

Happy Star Wars Day, you bunch of geeks!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 04 May 2010 13:26:00 +0000

Hello, boys and possibly a girl! I have brought you all today to wish you all a happy Star Wars day, which is quickly becoming my favourite holiday after Holloween, 4/20, and Xbox 360 Day.

Now, some of you may see Star Wars as a little bit geeky but hey...well...actually I don't know where I was going with that. I guess that is the true spirit of Star Wars day.

So, to pay homage, I leave you all with a little something I like to call awesome...

R.E.M. should sing about this...get it?

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:44:00 +0000

Hey folks! I know, its been a while but scouring the series of tubes for entertaining and uplifting content is as soul-destroying as it is hilarious.

Don't worry, though! I am back, and with some good news: In my absence, the top of the world has exploded rendering air travel useless and giving us all hope that one day a giant black cloud of smouldering ash will drown out our sunlight as well.

Rumour has it that the only way to stop it is to throw Al Gore into Mount Doom, or whatever they call it in Iceland. Well, the country formerly known as Iceland. I heard rumours of it changing to Lavaland - you know, for accuracy. I approve.

For those of you who haven't witnessed the spectacle, here it is:

If you look closely, you can see Peter Jackson wishing his movies looked that cool, while eating a beef sandwich.

Pew Pew Pew!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:07:00 +0000

Hold on to your nuts, people! For my female readers (all 1 of you), I'll wait until you go buy some cashews or whichever you prefer. I don't care!

[pause]

Okay, so now that we are all ready, I can introduce you to a website called OMG LASER GUNS PEW PEW PEW, or BEST WEBSITE IN THE WORLD, as I like to call it.

I can't think of anything much better than a space squirrel with a laser gun. Can you?

This is How The World Ends

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

So, Tim Buckley has answered the question that mankind has been struggling with since the beginning of time. How will the world end? Well, I used to think it will involve some kind of zombie apocalypse but it seems that we were all wrong.

We are in for a battle royale the likes of which has never been seen before. I warn you, the image you are about to see is as awesome as it is terrifying.

So, without further delay, I present to you an artist's impression of the two greatest forces known to man, locked in deadly combat: Robot Pirate vs. Zombie Ninja on Dinosaur.

I stand humbled.

The Walking Dead ... it lives!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:32:00 +0000

Boy, do I love horror movies! I especially love zombie movies ... but you all knew that, didn't you? What could be better? A SERIES based on the zombie apocalypse, that's what.

Well, as reported over at Bloody Disgusting, Frank Darabont (or Jesus Frank Stephen King Darabont, as I like to call him) is directing a series called "The Walking Dead", based on Robert Kirkman's legendary comic book of the same name.

It follows the story of Rick Grimes, a small-town police officer who...blah blah. We don't care. Give us zombies, give us survivors, give us mayhem!

Knowing Darabont, this is going to be fantastic. Ever see The Mist? Yeah, you know what we are going to be in for.

I think I need new pants, and for more reasons than I care to be proud of.

Fallout: New Vegas ... some details revealed!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:32:00 +0000

Well, well well. No seriously, I threw my Fallout 3 character down a well and he totally survived. He was hardcore, definitely more hardcore than my bro Denai's wimpy little miscreant.

Geeky rivalry aside, I can't wait for New Vegas. It promises to be everything that Fallout 3 was, just so much better.

I think it might just change my life. Well, the bits of my life where I play Xbox 360. I see another bitter rivalry in our future, brother Dennis.

Check out these scanned pages: (Credit to the find goes to Mr. Larch and his always informative blog)

A Dish Best Served Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:51:00 +0000

Men, you know what it's like to find the love of your life. You sit down at a corner cafe and then suddenly, there she is! Her scent is intoxicating, and you'd give anything for a just a nibble. Not shabby for something you order off the light lunch menu!

Women also don't seem to understand that a hungry man is a grumpy man, so when he requests a sandwich it is best to just listen. You know, until you have time to serve him with divorce papers.

Meanwhile, take a look over here:

Who said chauvinism isn't hilarious? Oh yes. Women.

The Usual Suspects

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:46:00 +0000

I'm actually scared of writing something about this post, in fear of some speckled zit-jockey correcting my grammar or commenting on the validity of my information.

As a matter of fact, my grammar is perfectly fine. She makes me rusks on my birthday. Freakin' sweet.

Anyway, don't be a dick. Go watch your blu-ray copy of Shawshank Redemption somewhere else. Actually, can I come? That movie ROCKS!

Fallout: New Vegas Teaser Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 06:22:00 +0000

If, like me, you spent so many hours on Fallout 3 you considered actually trying to build your own Pip-Boy, you will be overjoyed to hear that Fallout: New Vegas is on its way to your console this year still.

All I know is, when it gets released I'm locking myself into a small dark basement, where I can play the game to my heart's extent.

I heard its possible to survive quite a while just eating rats, if you don't mind the odd black plague or two. Worth it!

Take a look, you geeks you: