Social Shinobi

A Golden Ambition

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:32:00 +0000

So, its Saturday night and my better half and I are indulging in a bit of music nostalgia, playing all the songs that we either haven't listened to in years or, more appropriately, wouldn't be caught dead listening to in public.

Like intrepid but wary time travelers we explored a few of the landmarks from the fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties all the way through to the naughties and as I was laying on my bed watching my girl dance and sing to all the songs that REALLY make you happy, I was suddenly hit with a bit of a revelation, although not quite on an Archimedes level. I'll leave that to the pioneers, I'm merely a humble historian, devoutly rememering (and sometimes worshipping) at the feet of the artists that have come before.

So, every now and then an artist "brings back" the sound of a previous generation and oh god, do we love it when it happens. We all have our tie-dye ready for action at a moment's notice and most of you are secretly still buttering up those leather pants...just in case.

The question is, why? Why ever feel the need to re-live a time and sound that some of us are even to young to remember? Of course, it makes perfect sense listing to old music and loving the hell out of it, but what I'm referring to is some artists would try and recreate the sounds of generations past. This isn't a bad thing, not at all, but why?

As I'm sitting here typing, Hootie & the Blowfish's "Let Her Cry" serenading in my ears, the answer suddenly seemed perfectly obvious: We hate growing up.

Since the mid-2000's, music taste and artists have reached a certain level of maturity with the material they write, which is the sole reason the whole world stops and takes notice when an artist suddenly dons green spandex, suspenders and "that sound" that we all love...try as we can, we just seem to recreated the magic and innocence of a time where the world and the entertainment industry was more innocent.

It's a lot more clear when you look at the film industry: Think of the feeling you get when watching The Goonies, or watching that first episode of Friends again, compared to most of what you see today. Every movie coming out promises to be the "next great Spielberg" or the "best thing since Jaws", etc.

It just doesn't happen, and if you don't understand what I'm on about then you obviously haven't been on the receiving end of one of my rants. Essentially, we are dealing with a bit of an identity crises.

With so many influences and billions of songs available at our fingertips daily, we seem to have gotten stuck in a creative catch 22. Another practical example? What music, exactly, do we like listening to when having a beer, having around with our friends?

What will teh current big hits be remembered for? I know I'll probably never think back fondly at a "Hits of 2011" compilation but hell, you'll have to pry my Queen cd out of my cold dead hands one day.

To be fair, I love a lot of our modern music, but you all know what I'm talking about: we just seem to have lost what makes golden oldies so golden... spirit.

Now, before all of you wii-fit-fu my ass because I'm hatin', consider for a moment that I'm not criticizing at all, I'm merely pointing out the state of affairs as a generality, I'm not commenting on individual artists...I believe that the world currently has some of the finest talent available to it in the history of the world.

So, what has changed? What has vanquished the esteemed "golden" attribute of music in the last few years? Aspiration.

I often hear people complain about artists just performing to be famous and not for the love of the music, or how its all about the money. Honestly? I think people need to look a bit deeper into the whole situation.

Let's consider two artists: Ozzy Osbourne and Dr. Dre.

Do you think Ozzy Osbourne started performing just for the love of music? That's definitely part of it, a dire need to share your soul and sound with the world but deep down Ozzy wanted to be on a stage, biting the head off a bat, with millions of people looking up at him in awe, horror and very often ... lust.

Do you think Dr. Dre never wanted the money, the bling or the status? Yes, the man has an exceptional ear for sound and talent but he definitely knew that he wanted the bling, the shorty's and the street cred.

Now, I'm not saying that their need for fame drove them to success but, if you are really honest with yourself, isn't that all a part of it? We want to be rockstars.

These days, however, we seem to be content with mediocrity and fleeting fame, for the most part. That's the point I'm getting to. Perhaps, just perhaps, we need more people who strive to be on top of the world, who live and love to perform on stage and who, now and then, want to drive a Rolls Royce into a champagne-filled swimming pool filled with naked wenches, high as a kite.

Perhaps.

Evilsod launches!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:38:00 +0000

So, for anyone who knows anything about the local online community will be aware that Evilsod has recently launched, with the potential to be the cream-of-the-crop when it comes to South African-based forums.

If you aren't a member, join now! Discuss films, make jokes, or take someone on in no-holds-barred verbal combat! Whatever your poison is, ES delivers.

See you there...and you can call me Maelstrom!

Happy Star Wars Day, you bunch of geeks!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 04 May 2010 13:26:00 +0000

Hello, boys and possibly a girl! I have brought you all today to wish you all a happy Star Wars day, which is quickly becoming my favourite holiday after Holloween, 4/20, and Xbox 360 Day.

Now, some of you may see Star Wars as a little bit geeky but hey...well...actually I don't know where I was going with that. I guess that is the true spirit of Star Wars day.

So, to pay homage, I leave you all with a little something I like to call awesome...

R.E.M. should sing about this...get it?

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:44:00 +0000

Hey folks! I know, its been a while but scouring the series of tubes for entertaining and uplifting content is as soul-destroying as it is hilarious.

Don't worry, though! I am back, and with some good news: In my absence, the top of the world has exploded rendering air travel useless and giving us all hope that one day a giant black cloud of smouldering ash will drown out our sunlight as well.

Rumour has it that the only way to stop it is to throw Al Gore into Mount Doom, or whatever they call it in Iceland. Well, the country formerly known as Iceland. I heard rumours of it changing to Lavaland - you know, for accuracy. I approve.

For those of you who haven't witnessed the spectacle, here it is:

If you look closely, you can see Peter Jackson wishing his movies looked that cool, while eating a beef sandwich.

Pew Pew Pew!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:07:00 +0000

Hold on to your nuts, people! For my female readers (all 1 of you), I'll wait until you go buy some cashews or whichever you prefer. I don't care!

[pause]

Okay, so now that we are all ready, I can introduce you to a website called OMG LASER GUNS PEW PEW PEW, or BEST WEBSITE IN THE WORLD, as I like to call it.

I can't think of anything much better than a space squirrel with a laser gun. Can you?

This is How The World Ends

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

So, Tim Buckley has answered the question that mankind has been struggling with since the beginning of time. How will the world end? Well, I used to think it will involve some kind of zombie apocalypse but it seems that we were all wrong.

We are in for a battle royale the likes of which has never been seen before. I warn you, the image you are about to see is as awesome as it is terrifying.

So, without further delay, I present to you an artist's impression of the two greatest forces known to man, locked in deadly combat: Robot Pirate vs. Zombie Ninja on Dinosaur.

I stand humbled.

The Walking Dead ... it lives!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:32:00 +0000

Boy, do I love horror movies! I especially love zombie movies ... but you all knew that, didn't you? What could be better? A SERIES based on the zombie apocalypse, that's what.

Well, as reported over at Bloody Disgusting, Frank Darabont (or Jesus Frank Stephen King Darabont, as I like to call him) is directing a series called "The Walking Dead", based on Robert Kirkman's legendary comic book of the same name.

It follows the story of Rick Grimes, a small-town police officer who...blah blah. We don't care. Give us zombies, give us survivors, give us mayhem!

Knowing Darabont, this is going to be fantastic. Ever see The Mist? Yeah, you know what we are going to be in for.

I think I need new pants, and for more reasons than I care to be proud of.

Fallout: New Vegas ... some details revealed!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:32:00 +0000

Well, well well. No seriously, I threw my Fallout 3 character down a well and he totally survived. He was hardcore, definitely more hardcore than my bro Denai's wimpy little miscreant.

Geeky rivalry aside, I can't wait for New Vegas. It promises to be everything that Fallout 3 was, just so much better.

I think it might just change my life. Well, the bits of my life where I play Xbox 360. I see another bitter rivalry in our future, brother Dennis.

Check out these scanned pages: (Credit to the find goes to Mr. Larch and his always informative blog)

A Dish Best Served Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:51:00 +0000

Men, you know what it's like to find the love of your life. You sit down at a corner cafe and then suddenly, there she is! Her scent is intoxicating, and you'd give anything for a just a nibble. Not shabby for something you order off the light lunch menu!

Women also don't seem to understand that a hungry man is a grumpy man, so when he requests a sandwich it is best to just listen. You know, until you have time to serve him with divorce papers.

Meanwhile, take a look over here:

Who said chauvinism isn't hilarious? Oh yes. Women.

The Usual Suspects

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:46:00 +0000

I'm actually scared of writing something about this post, in fear of some speckled zit-jockey correcting my grammar or commenting on the validity of my information.

As a matter of fact, my grammar is perfectly fine. She makes me rusks on my birthday. Freakin' sweet.

Anyway, don't be a dick. Go watch your blu-ray copy of Shawshank Redemption somewhere else. Actually, can I come? That movie ROCKS!

Fallout: New Vegas Teaser Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 06:22:00 +0000

If, like me, you spent so many hours on Fallout 3 you considered actually trying to build your own Pip-Boy, you will be overjoyed to hear that Fallout: New Vegas is on its way to your console this year still.

All I know is, when it gets released I'm locking myself into a small dark basement, where I can play the game to my heart's extent.

I heard its possible to survive quite a while just eating rats, if you don't mind the odd black plague or two. Worth it!

Take a look, you geeks you:

Suicide Girls Must Die!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:09:00 +0000

Now, I'm not a 100% sure that I'm on board with that sentiment. However, someone seems to be keen on the idea as one by one, these twelve suicide girls (I think I had a dream that involved 12 SG's once) start disappearing from the cabin where they are shooting a calendar video.

I don't know about you, but Suicide Girls in a cabin in the woods seems like a sure fire way to steal the top gold from Mr. Cameron and his blue kittehs. These girls can REALLY act. Promise. I saw a video once.

Click here for the high-res poster.

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 08:42:00 +0000

So, what do you get if you combine the three most manliest things in the world? The three manliest things obviously being Tom Selleck, sandwiches and waterfalls.

Before you leap out of your chair to tell me that waterfalls are not manly, I advise you to go look over at THIS SITE, imaginatively called "Selleck Waterfall Sandwich". Wow, must have taken a while to think that one up!

Here is a little taste of what you can expect:

Wow! I feel my moustache growing twice as fast, already! That's manly.

The Internet: An "Artist's" Impression

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 07:32:00 +0000

So, what do you think the internet would look like, if you could summarise it with an image?

If you said "a pair of boobs straddled by a raptor with a laser on its head", we would be one the same page.

However, this is another (clearly inferior) artist's impression:

Here is the HIGH-RES version. Yeah, I know. It's actually totally awesome!

An Inglorious Realisation

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:33:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure the picture says it all...priceless! Inglorious Basterds had to be one of my favourite movies of 2009, and it seems like the memes around it are just as clever.

Gotta love it.

Nibbles: Funny, and I'm not talking about the name.

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 10:44:00 +0000

So, I was recently made aware of a new local online comic so I decided to give it a gander and I was pleasantly surprised.

Here is how the creator describes it:

"Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever had a crappy day? If you haven't you're a liar. Nibbles is a take on all the crappier parts of our lives, from relationships, sex to just life in general. It's a bit of something that everyone has gone though at some point in their lives."

Go on, show your support!

The Runaways

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:19:00 +0000

I hate the Twilight series. So, so much. I hate the way it ruins vampires, I hate the way it blatantly waves it in our faces that it is nothing more than a shameful pop-culture cash-in masquerading as fiction. I also hate the way it ruins Kristen Stewart.

She has proven herself a good actress with her pre-Twilight films, but now I can't hear her name without thinking about sparkly vampires and self-obsessed teenagers. Then I saw the trailer for The Runaways, which I will be calling The Possible Redemption of Miss Stewart. It looks fantastic.

The Runaways deals with the famous all-girl rock band of the same name from the 70's that performed alongside the likes of The Ramones, the Sex Pistols and Blondie.

Kristen Stewart plays Jett and Dakota Fanning, who is all grown up, stars as Currie.

I'm holding my fingers crossed for this one. Empire Records and Almost Famous are two of my favourite movies of all time, and I am hoping that this at least compares to the brilliance of these two. Only time will tell, so the best we can do now is take a look at the trailer:

Oh, and for interest's sake, here is what The Runaways really looked like. Hmmm...70's babes.

Just In Case You Forget...

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:52:00 +0000

This will come in handy one day. You can thank me later.

[SOURCE]

Zombie Bite Calculator

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:29:00 +0000

So, how long would you last if you are bitten by a zombie? Find out here!

Here is my result:

All I know is, I'm eating you first.

Just when you thought you've seen it all: Star Wars Burlesque

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:35:00 +0000

Being a big fan of burlesque, I've seen a few shows recently and I'm delighted that the scene is catching on. Taking a step away from raunchy into something a little more seductive, burlesque mixes gothic cabaret with Moulin Rouge-esque escapades and the eventual striptease, emphasis on the tease.

For my account of one of the last shows that I watched, take a look OVER HERE.

If you want to know a little more about the genre check out THIS link to the lovely ladies over at Black Orchid Burlesque, a Cape Town based troupe. Great girls, great performers.

In any case, I recently came across a very bizarre article and even more bizarre images...someone decided that mixing Star Wars and burlesque would be a good idea.

I'm not so sure. We been plagued by Leia's weird golden bikini for too long, and NOW THIS?

You make up your own mind, you geek you.

[SOURCE] [Full Gallery]

Another Kick-Ass trailer kicks ass!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:53:00 +0000

So, the first proper Kick-Ass trailer (besides the really cool Hit Girl red band trailer) has been released today and it actually gives you an idea what the movie is about.

So, we have a 12-year old girl shooting some people, a guy in a goofy green costume beating some guys up with batons and then there is the Red Mist (aka McLovin') driving around in a suspiciously expensive sports car.

All I know is, I can't wait...this movie is going to [insert appropriate adjective] [insert appropriate body part].

Believe that.

Fallout: New Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 13:12:00 +0000

I just got wind that details of the new Fallout games has been leaked. It is called Fallout: New Vegas and since the creators of Fallout 2 are making it, it will be seen as the true sequel...unlike Fallout 3 (which I am currently still enjoying, I love it).

In any case, go read more about it HERE.

Surprise Pedobear attack!

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:52:00 +0000

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The Crazies - Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:19:00 +0000

So, in December I posted about Eisner's remake, The Crazies, which I am very excited about. I doubt it'll win any Oscars but it looks like a coffins full of fun. Haha, yeah, I made a funny. I apologise. Now watch the trailer:

Avatar-Pocahontas

noreply@blogger.com (Lourens Loki Corleone) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:26:00 +0000

Okay, let me be honest. I haven't seen Avatar yet so I am technically not allowed to make fun of it yet, blah blah blah. I don't care.

Yes, I can't wait to see it and everyone tells me something different about it but the main consensus is that while the special effects are extraordinary and the movie is great, the plot is a bit straight forward and been done.

Had a good laugh at a modified Pocahontas book report changed to suit the Avatar storyline...good going, Mr. Cameron.