Sofia Notes

We can never resist Fianna Fail's dark allure for long

2011-01-28T09:27:00.002+02:00

John Water's has written an excellent commentary in this morning's Irish Times entitled "We can never resist Fianna Fail's dark allure for long"

Already we can see attitudes to the Fianna Failures changing with the installation of Blessed Michael Martyr as the new leader. The demonisation of the Fianna Failures, Brian Clown and Grubby Ahern is too simplistic though, just as is the current stampede to the "White Swans" of Eamon Givemore and Ingenious Kenny. They will not save us.

The Fianna Failures have always had an unwholesome, sordid side to them but we didn't care too much while all the goodies flowed our way. After all, they have been in power for 61 of the last 79 years. Awful as the current times are, we now have a great opportunity to fundamentally question what Ireland stands for today. If we don't do that, we are condemned to repeat the mistakes of the past. They haven't gone away you know!

Happy Birthday Biggie Mozah!

2011-01-28T08:28:00.002+02:00

I missed his birthday yesterday. 255 years old. Today he'd probably be called Biggie Mozah or something like that.

For America's greatest allies

2011-01-28T07:59:00.002+02:00

Isn't it amazing how the action of one, simple street trader, Muhammad Bouazizi in Tunisia, can challenge and topple an entire system? How fragile they are. Where are Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton now?

Julieta Venegas

2011-01-27T22:16:00.002+02:00

I'm digging Julieta Venegas, at the moment. Music to make you smile. This isn't the greatest recording. Get her MTV Unplugged album. Really excellent.

Many Hands Make Light Work

2011-01-27T21:48:00.006+02:00

Brian Clown opens Chinese restaurant

2011-01-27T19:35:00.001+02:00

A lot of controversy has surrounded the plans of Brian Clown following his imminent retirement from politics. Sofia Notes can reveal that he has opened a Chinese Restaurant in Dublin's fashionable Chinatown. We sneaked a camera in yesterday and caught some footage of him in his new venture. We wish him luck.

Hitler's Xbox account.

2011-01-26T21:57:00.000+02:00

Sorry to hear about the premature death of Bernd Eichinger, who produced and wrote the screenplay for the brilliant Downfall which was about Hitler's last days in Berlin. There have been many parodies of this passage but for me this is the best. Here, Hitler learns that his XBox Live account has been terminated.

Hitler Gets Banned from Xbox Live - Click here for another funny movie.

Bulgaria Launches Online Tourist Calendar

2011-01-26T19:22:00.000+02:00

The Bulgarian Ministry of Economy, Energy and Tourism has launched an online calendar listing interesting tourists sites and events. You can see it here. The site will be updated constantly and will collect information about travel, city and town celebrations, festivals, and others. Brilliant!

The site has been financed by the EU "Regional Development" Operational Program and cost over 1 million Euro. It is part of a campaign called "Find Bulgaria".

When you visit the site you will notice one slight problem. It is only in Bulgarian! To my knowledge, and I could be wrong, most tourists don't speak Bulgarian. Hmmmmm. Wonder where the 1 million Euro went to?

Please stop cutting your arm off......

2011-01-26T18:47:00.001+02:00

Will people please stop cutting their arms off? I thought everyone had a mobile phone?

Andy Gray

2011-01-25T22:09:00.001+02:00

Spare a thought for poor Andy Gray who has been sacked by Sky Sports for being an obnoxious, sexist pig. One presumes that the emergence of all the video and audio evidence has nothing to do with Andy's recent request to discover if his telephone was being tapped by the News of the World, the owners of whom, also have a significant stake in Sky Sports. On balance, given his position, he deserves to be sacked.

Of course Andy was in good company. Football is renowned for its racism, sexism and homophobia. I wonder has it anything to do with its leadership. For example (and there are many examples), West Ham are currently owned by the pornographers , Gold and Sullivan. And good old Silvio Berlusconi, the Prime Minister of Italy, who has a fondness for underage prostitutes, is President of AC Milan. But best of all is good old Sepp Blatter, the Numero Uno, who occupies the top job in football, President of FIFA.

Ardent fans of Sepp will remember when he said that he thought female footballers should wear skimpy hot pants in order to popularise the sport. Sepp isn't just a sexist pig though. Following the recent selection of Qatar as World Cup hosts he suggested that gay supporters should refrain from sexual activities when visiting the gay-friendly state.

Good luck with the job hunting Andy. Give Silvio or Sepp a call. I'm sure they will have an opening for you!

Vote for Best Picture in this year's Oscars

2011-01-25T17:45:00.006+02:00

The nominations for the 2011 Oscar's have been announced. There are 10 nominees for Best Motion Picture. Vote for the movie you think should win this year's award:

Online Surveys & Market Research

Trailers:

Please give me $1,000,000 dollars

2011-01-25T12:06:00.000+02:00

Kid claims to have been promised $1m after posting a video on YouTube. What if it's true???

Breaking news: Labour launch innovative new transport and equality policies

2011-01-25T09:49:00.002+02:00

Uncle Joe at a "Take & Go"

Following the phenomenal success of the Green Party's bicycle sharing scheme 2 years ago, the Labour Party were quick to react. At a news conference yesterday, "Uncle Joe" Costello launched "ZimShare". With ZimShare people will be able to partake in a Zimmer Sharing Scheme (ZSS).

"What it means is, that Labour voters will no longer have to bring their zimmer frames with them when they come to town once a year" said Joe. "Now they can register as ZSS members and they can then pick a zimmer up at one of our "Zimmer Take & Go" stations and then leave it when they finally reach their destination. We know that this is a vote winner with the Labour electorate" said Joe.

Mary Byrne "never expected to be in Labour"

At the same time, "Taoiseach-in-Waiting" Eamon Givemore launched a new initiative to attract more females to join the Labour Party. "The average age of Labour Party TD's is 59 and they are predominately male" said Eamon. "We need to get more women into Labour. It is the job of every male member in the Labour Party to get more women into Labour" he said. He announced this initiative at a press conference yesterday when Labour unveiled their latest new female recruit. Her name is Mary Byrne and she is pictured here with Eamon Givemore who said he personally got her into Labour. Exciting times!!

Russian Airport Bomber

2011-01-25T06:05:00.000+02:00

Apparently they had searched him earlier and he did not have any arms......

Russian authorities found the head of the suicide bomber who killed at least 35 people today. The suspect looks Arab in appearance.
The Sydney Morning Herald reported:

Russian investigators on Monday found a head of “Arab appearance” that is presumed to have belonged to the suicide bomber responsible for setting off a Moscow airport blast, Interfax reported.
“We have found the head of a man of Arab appearance who is about 30 to 35 years old,” the news agency quoted an unnamed security source as saying.
“He presumably set off the explosive device,” the official said.
The Domodedovo airport blast killed at least 35 people and injured 130 others, with President Dmitry Medvedev describing the blast as “an act of terror”.

Anna Calvi

2011-01-24T21:31:00.001+02:00

Great album. Must have!

Anna Calvi

Enjoy every sandwich. Happy Birthday Warren Zevon!

2011-01-24T09:15:00.004+02:00

Today is Warren Zevon's birthday. Musician, lyricist and poet, there are not enough words to describe this musical genius. like many others I first came across him in the late 70's with Excitable Boy. Songs like Werewolves of London and Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner are just two of his many unique and beautiful songs.

Warren died, aged 57, in 2003. He had a phobia about attending doctors and, as a result, his lung cancer was diagnosed too late to be treated. When he found out that he was dying from the disease he said "I'm OK with it, but it'll be a drag if I don't make it till the next James Bond movie comes out". He did make it to the next Bond movie which ironically enough was called Die Another Day.

He faced death with great stoicism and humour. If you can find the time you can see his last appearance on the Dave Letterman Show. Letterman dedicated the full show to him and it is a moving tribute to this most unique musician. Shortly before his death he recorded The Wind for which he won a Grammy for his duet with Bruce Springsteen, Disorder in the House.

Happy Birthday Warren.

Fianna Failures Leadership Candidates

2011-01-23T19:56:00.002+02:00

Following the shock announcement of the resignation of Brian Clown as the leader of the Fianna Failures the main contenders for his replacement have formally announced their bids for leadership of De Party. They are:

Mother Superior Mary Hasnofriends (Minister for Holidays, Football, Singing, Craic and Lack of Jobs)
Brian Letmeinagain (Minister for Financial Ruin)
Blessed Michael Martyr (Unemployed)
Count Eamon O'Creepy (Minister for War, Peace, the Weather and An Daingen - Dingle to you and me)

Mother Superior Mary Hasnofriend said that she wanted to lead the Fianna Failures to a new beginning. In particular, she wanted to appeal to the youth of the De Party who, she said were the future of the Fianna Failures. When asked how much support she had she said she wasn't going to reveal how many votes she had but, with the help of God, she was sure she had at least one at this early stage.

Brian Letmeinagain said that he wanted to lead the Fianna Failures to a new beginning. In particular, he wanted to appeal to the youth of De Party who he said were the future of the Fianna Failures. When asked how much support he had he said he had commitments from 2 members in the south, 3 in the east, 2 in the West and 2 in the North. He said that this was a total of em, em, em....2+3+2+2.....em 10?

Blessed Michael Martyr said he wanted to lead the Fianna Failures to a new beginning. In particular, he wanted to appeal to the youth of De Party who he said were the future of the Fianna Failures. When asked how many votes he had he said that he hoped everybody got the same number of votes as anything else would be divisive. It was important that everyone remained friends.

Count Eamon O'Creepy said he wanted to lead the Fianna Failures to a new beginning. In particular, he wanted to appeal to the youth of De Party who he said were the future of the Fianna Failures. As the oldest member of De Party he will be 150 years old when the Failures are next in Government which may be an inhibiting factor in his bid for leadership.

The result of the election will be known early next week. With such a clear difference between the candidates, members of De Party will have an easy decision to make. We can't wait........

Here's Looking At You Kid

2011-01-23T11:45:00.000+02:00

It's Humphrey Bogart's birthday today. Born in 1899 he died aged 57 in 1957. One of Hollywood's finest actors, his most famous part was as Rick Blaine with Ingrid Bergman in one of the best movies ever made, Casablanca. Happy Birthday, Bogie!

Will you be my friend?

2011-01-23T11:12:00.002+02:00

Simone Back RIP

I've always found the concept of finding friends through social networking sites i.e. Facebook slightly bemusing. In general, I know who my friends are. I have always felt happy to have a few good friends who I know I can call upon at any time if I need them. For me that is enough.

At every opportunity Facebook offers you the possibility to meet new "friends" who are "friends" of your "friends" and therefore will want to be "friends" with you. Ultimately the objective is to get as many "friends" as possible and, presumably, you will have more "friends" than your own "friends". The "average" user on Facebook has 130 "friends". But can you really have a meaningful friendship with two or three hundred people?

Simone Back had 1,048 (one thousand and forty eight) Facebook friends. I say had, because Simone is dead. She committed suicide. At 10 pm on Christmas Day 2010, Simone posted a suicide note as a status update on her Facebook page saying she had just taken an overdose of pills. She died the following day. Her Facebook "friends" commented on her status. One said she was a liar. Another said that she "does this all the time". There were many comments, some voiced concern, but no one raised the alarm.

Facebook's objective is to build a global database of "friends" in order to generate online advertising so that ultimately the company can be sold to the benefit of its existing 500 shareholders. So the next time you click "add XXXX as a friend" make sure they are a real friend. Like Simone Back, you never know when you might need one.

As an aside, Facebook is currently estimated to earn c. $2bn a year. Current valuation of the company ($50 bn) is therefore c. 25 times revenue which is ridiculous. In order to realise that value they will need to generate more revenue and to that they will need a more targeted advertising model than their current crude display ads. What this all means is that your privacy is under threat.

Don't get me wrong. I see enormous value in social networking sites such as Facebook. It's just that I also put a real value on friendship and my personal privacy. Some tips. Check your Facebook privacy settings. You wouldn't let strangers wander around your house and look at your personal stuff would you? Download and install Adblock to get rid of those pesky ads. Download and install Ghostery to prevent others monitoring your online browsing habits. And talk to your friends every now and then!

Fly like an eagle

2011-01-22T18:26:00.006+02:00

I think number 3 is just about right?

2011-01-22T15:55:00.000+02:00

pompous adj.
1. one who is full of pomp.
2. a self absorbed person.
3. an elitist pig, usually found inflating her/his ego to the point of nausea.
4. a self proclaimed stately person, commonly found talking down to others whom of which are typically in a higher intelligence quotient bracket.

Brian Clown's last desperate attempt to convince the Irish people to stick with him

2011-01-22T13:46:00.002+02:00

A Change is Gonna Come

2011-01-22T12:26:00.000+02:00

Sam Cooke was born today. Most famous for his song "A Change is Gonna Come" he died aged 33 in 1964. There are many conspiracy theories about his death. He was shot by the female manager of a motel he was staying in. He attacked the manager dressed in only a jacket and a shoe. He claimed to be looking for a woman who accompanied him to the motel and flew into a rage when he couldn't find her. The woman in question, who was subsequently convicted of prostitution, claimed she had been kidnapped and fled when she had the opportunity and took his clothes at the same time. A tragic end for a gifted voice.

Here's the Playing For Change version of the iconic 60's protest song which is even more relevant today.

Sarah Palin is comin' South to hunt some skunk....Should we be worried?

2011-01-22T10:34:00.002+02:00

A rather unkind comment on YouTube asks if this couple divorce will they still be brother and sister? Now where did I put my shotgun?

She's a cold blast from Alaska ingrained with common sense,
She's not a Harvard lawyer but she knew what the Founders meant.
A cold blast from the north that freezes Congress in their tracks,
With God and the Tea Party, she's gonna take it back.
Sarah Palin, she won't listen to their bunk,
Sarah Palin coming South to hunt some skunk,
Sarah Palin – she'll throw 'em all in jail,
And when she gets to Washington, it'll be cold as hell.
Sarah has the wisdom to walk through an open door,
She's stomping out the wretches where the evil lies in store.
She will scrub the floors and sweep the riff-raff into cracks,
With God and the Tea Party, she's gonna take it back.
Sarah Palin, she won't listen to their bunk,
Sarah Palin coming South to hunt some skunk,
Sarah Palin – she'll throw 'em all in jail,
And when she gets to Washington, it'll be cold as hell.
SPOKEN WORD:
Congress pats themselves from some new bill they just passed
I watch as my freedom slowly runs through an hourglass
They think they spend our money better than we do
But they can talk until they're blue and old
'Cuz if they ever gave us anything
They always wanted something in return . . . Sarah knows!
OPERA-STYLE:
Saraaaaah's marching onnnnnnnn onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
CLOSING DEDICATION:
I'd like to dedicate that to the Tea Party and all the patriots.

On Drunk Texting God, Having A Lisp and Being A Virgin

2011-01-22T09:27:00.000+02:00