SogeShirts.com Presents: Blog of Masterful Entertainment

Facebook suggestions quiz

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Facebook has always been known as a bit intrusive. You can find people's emails, phone numbers, scantily clad pictures, or even status updates that bash the boss of the company. Lately Facebook has decided to take creepy to new heights with their personal suggestions urging me to make facebook better for one of my facebook friends by either sending them a message or writing on their wall. Here is a fun little quiz with some possible facebook suggestions. The correct answer worth 4 points is the creepiest or most messed up answer with the second creepiest/messed up answer being three points.

1. Facebook Suggestion: Your facebook friend Kevin has just been laid off by his job. Please make Kevin feel better by...

A. Writing him a nice uplifting message
B. Giving him some Farmville land to help him back on his feet
C. Write on his wall that he should "enjoy the food stamps"
D. Threaten him that he better return your superpokes cause bro you
have free time.

2. Facebook suggestion: Your facebook friend Tina just got engaged after two weeks of dating. Congratulate her by ....

A. Register for her wedding by giving her a Lil Green Patch cactus plant
B. Calling her on her facebook posted phone number to congratulate her
C. Congratulate her on the obvious pregnancy via her wall which causes
her mom to delete her as a facebook friend.
D. Create a facebook group planning her bachelorette party

3. Facebook suggestion: Your significant other Charlie (male or female) just posted a status message stating that "I should have looked what was in my burrito." Help him/her by...

A. Create the fan page bathroom follies and post their picture
B. Send them a Pepto Bismol using virtual pharmacy
C. Send them a link for baby wipes
D. Change your relationship status to single

4. Facebook suggestion: Lacey is bored and wants something to do. Tell her something to do...

A. Waste hours trying to have a conversation on facebook chat
B. Facebook please stop trying to control me. You are a social media network and I find it really creepy that you know who on my friends list that I have or haven't interacted with much. I may have to file a restraining order using the fuck off and die application.
C. Tell her to go watch some shitty vampire show on tv
D. Recruit her to your mafia in mafia wars.

Now for the answers listed in the order of most creepy. 4 points for creepiest 1 for least etc.

1. D,C,B,A
2. C,B,D,A
3. A,D,C,B
4. B,A,C,D

If you scored 13-16 points Congrats you are creepy enough to work for Facebook
9-12 points I bet you wear capes and bow ties
5-8 points Someday you'll earn your trenchcoat and binoculars
1-4 points Aww you are too nice and often boring

High Quality Cheap Tshirts For A Low Quality Economy

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:28:00 +0000

These days nothing seems to come cheap even in a bad economy.
Funny t-shirts especially just seem to be severely overpriced.
You can find some

Funny Cheap tshirts under 15 bucks it is extremely rare.

Many moons ago people associated price with quality.
When you thought of a cheap tshirt, it usually meant that the t-shirt lacked style, was made of poor quality, or it was on sale for some strange reason.

High priced equals quality in the minds of many people. There are however, many high priced pieces of clothing that are marked higher, to give it a psychologically distorted value. This is accomplished by the idea "You get what you pay for." Assuming a greater price the quality will be greater. It’s time to change that assumption. Shirts that are low in price can be extremely high in quality. At Soge Shirts we strive to provide shirts of a low cost value, without sacrificing quality. The special little touches that our artists put into their tshirt designs, gives the t-shirt a better look, feel, and value. For the work involved we price our shirts as low as possible so our customers can enjoy great clothing. Who couldn't use some cool threads to shock some loud neighbors, or crack a joke during happy hour? Our cheap funny tshirts are crafted to put a smile on the faces of men, women, and children alike.

We proudly offer Cheap funny tees starting at $11.99 and many of our cute boys and girls t-shirts are $11.99 dollars as well. This means you get very cool clothing for your whole family at low prices. For example you can get cute shirts for kids like our

Supaw Pawers Tees for boys and girls starting at $11.99.

If you think your kid has a sense of humor, try our funny tees for kids.

Our hot tees for women

retails as low as $17.99, much less than then industry average. Besides being a great fit, these tees for women are cute, hot, and sexy. Why pay $40 dollars on women's tee shirts at a department store when you can get a sassy t-shirt of department store quality online for $17.99? In today's economy, purchasing a high valued product at a price you can afford is a must.

humor tees in July

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:58:00 +0000

It's july which means beaches, barbecues, and two more months to football because lets face it baseball sucks. It also means we have some new great humor tees and some fantastic graphic t-shirts for this month.

Our first new design is Love Conquers all. It features a giant sacred heart burning with love being worshiped by three tiny hearts. If you believe in love and humanity you should put this on your must get list. It's probably more of a shirt for the ladies but if you're a guy and want to get one that is fantastic. This is a great cute t-shirt design for girls with each bowing heart serving as a reminder that love conquers all. If the Aztecs would have remembered that they would have whipped Cortez's butt.

If you hate little heart people bowing at the feet of the great sacred heart we also offer the design with just the great sacred heart. This is because we like all of our customers except for Frank. If your name is Frank and are reading this I'm referring to a different Frank. Anyways wear this t-shirt at the mall and you'll get a bunch of that is so cute comments or that is so precious. Either way you'll get positive attention.

Our next shirt in our line of great graphic tees is Every Time You Eat Meat A Hippie Drops A Hacky Sack. This shirt is pretty literal. Every time you eat meat a hippie loses his concentration and lets the hacky sack drop to the ground. Meat is cryptonite to a hippie and especially affects their foot skills. Veal is the greatest offender to hippies as anytime veal is eaten not only do they whiff kicking the hacky sack they also punch themselves in the face. I don't really have anything against hippies as they have some pretty noble ideas with exception to their inability to shower or wear deodeorant.

Wear this cheap graphic tee to a barbecues as their is sure to be many a meat eater that will give you a high five. Do not wear this shirt at a PETA conference or at a whole foods market. Although your shirt will have meat on it only real meat will stop their legs from working. You will get kicked by strong hacky sack playing hippie legs a lot if you wear this t-shirt in their presence.

Next in our awesome humor t-shirts for July we have the need to get laid equation. The concept of this shirt is not too hard to figure out. Unless you are a physicist or in aeronautics solving quadratic equations all day is pretty pointless and is definitely not going to impress the members of the opposite sex. In these times a facebook account and attending college is all it takes to hook up. Leave all the einstein stuff to the chess team or Matt Damon/ Russell Crow from the movies. Yes I know Matt Damon and Russell Crow got laid in their movies by being math geniuses but they were Matt Damon and Russel Crow. Jaime Escalante got no loving even will all the inner city kids he taught. Wear this shirt at funny college t-shirt in the dorms and you'll get loving in no time unless you're a jerk. Don't wear it in your engineering class or else you may have pi shoved in your face.

Finally we have our new t-shirt design on zazzle My bologna has a first name but no social security number. This funny graphic t-shirt is a reminder that you better get a background check on a piece of bologna if you are going to hire it. It only has a first name, no social security number, and that green card looks like they took some monopoly money and had it laminated. Darn that clever bologna. Bologna is so sketchy that sometimes it tries to go to subway and pass itself off as salami. Wear this shirt everywhere! Bologna has lost popularity in recent years and it needs to make a comeback.

Stop it celebrities

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:24:00 +0000

All the recent news of celebrity deaths is bumming me out. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, Micheal Jackson, Billy Mays, and then Steve McNair. I'm sure I left one out. That stupid show celebrity death match came true and I'm not amused at the carnage it left. It's important to realize that all human life is important and that anyone who has died deserves to be remembered. In a sense it is sad that TMZ feels the need to report that Michael Jackson had a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of carrots on Dec 14th, 1989. The adoration and attention that mega celebrities get while they live is even worse than they die. All their skeletons and secrets come out. We know exactly how much Michael Jackson is in debt, that Steve McNair rented a condo with his friend, and that Billy Mays was hired to sell lint. The last part was made up, but still we all know too much.

With Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Steve McNair passing at such young ages kids are going to start having mid life crises at 12. At least most of them won't have to worry about losing the Xbox in a break up with the little neighbor girl down the street. They say that death comes in threes, well so do the Jonas Brothers. Coincidence I say not. Anyways death, taxes, and Disney producing teen musical acts with no talent are three things that will likely never change as long as their is humanity on earth. R.I.P. to all celebrities and non celebrities alike. I hope you will all be remembered.

Fresh Broccoli is just as Nasty as Frozen Broccoli Tee Shirts

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:01:00 +0000

Vegetables, much like a natural cotton silly tshirt, is better organic and fresh. In my estimation, the previous statement is 100% true with the
exception of broccoli. Dump enough butter or ranch to clog your arteries and broccoli will still taste nasty, whether it is fresh or frozen. I don't know what is is about broccoli that gives it that crisp, sour, cardboard taste, but I believe the green afro it hoists on top of its stem has something to do with it. Never eating anything with a green afro, is a lesson I learned from cannibals in the Peruvian jungle. Maybe it's irony that broccoli tastes so bad, yet is so nutritious, you need to eat it. C'mon science, make broccoli taste like pizza. Or at least make broccoli give me super powers so i can dawn a funny graphic tee, and fight crime in my jeans.

There are so many places you can wear this cheap funny t-shirt.

1. Wear it at a whole foods market to confuse people. You are shopping
at a healthy organic market, or vegetable covered street corner poker table,
and you're wearing a graphic tee shirt with
Fresh Broccoli is Just as Nasty as Frozen Broccoli.
You might get kicked out or vegan's might scream at you for spreading rumors about their favorite dessert.
Reply with "If it tasted like chicken instead of a small bonsai tree, it'd eat it"
But you've got a funny graphic tee, that warns flavor lovers of an impending disaster.

2. Wear it at football and baseball games. In an environment
where fried food, hot dogs, and beer reign supreme,
you wont find broccoli concession stands.
America pastimes don't include eating bushy little green microphones of yuck.

3. I don't need to come up with a third place since the hilarious tee
shirt is just that good.

Back in the sixties/seventies it was all about sex drugs and rock n roll. Since then we've all gotten a little older and a little wiser and a new era has dawned of No sex, Rx Drugs, Rock and Roll Out of Bed Tees, has taken over the youth. Now don't get depressed ask for more meds, the good news is there is more partying to be done.

Take a big step in your life and get this hilarious bad offensive t-shirt and let others know that you have a kick ass and take names, sense of humor. (or a kick names and take ass kind of humor, .. however the saying goes.)

Try to party the greatest way possible ... responsibly. Responsibly partying isn't waking up next day 150 miles southwest of your job, 1 hour before work starts probably wont get you on your boss's "due for a raise" list.
This type of partying usually involves presents, 100% juice and a blended variety of pinata hitting, and pin the tail on the donkey.

Spend time with your kids. Teach them the responsible ways to party, before it's too late. You would hate to tell them about your past and how you blacked out.. not wearing your crazy hilarious tshirt, or pants, in the middle of a football stadium parking lot. Remember, teach your children that abstaining from sex, using prescription drugs, and forcing yourself to get up in the morning may not make you the life of the party, but it will lead to more productivity which is a good and responsible thing. Plus you'll be able to amaze stranger with stories of your party days. Don't worry now that you are non Rx drug free, you'll be able to remember them.

Jon and Kate= ratings!

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 28 May 2009 20:53:00 +0000

Usually I don't give two craps about pop culture maybe one and a half
at best but Jon and Kate Gosselin are driving me insane. There is no
escape from them or their innocent eight. First Jon is allegedly
cheating on Kate with a "teacher friend" at a bar and then Kate is
rumored to be spending adult time with a bodyguard. Since when do you
even time to have affairs with other people when you have eight kids?
How do you even get out of the house? I don't think the I'm going to
the market to pick up milk excuse is going to fly when you are gone
the whole night. I almost wonder if the whole affair mess is a charade
by Jon and Kate to get more ratings for their TV show. They could be
secretly be sipping wine in bubble baths together while they count
their new millions the publicity of their affairs are getting. If I'm
right here are some other Jon and Kate storylines you may see this
season.

1. Jon decides to leave Kate to go to Iraq. He decides to take Joel
with him for some daddy fighty time but Kate reminds him that Joel
can't go on the flight since Jon didn't use a coupon to book the
flight.

2. Kate decides that one of the eight must be put up for adoption. She
lets America vote one of the eight off American Idol style. Ryan
Seacrest is brought in to console the loser.

3. Jon gets romantically linked to one of the married cast members on
The Hills. Kate declares Jon to be a professional marriage destroyer.
Ratings surge.

4. Kate appears on the next celebrity apprentice. She makes Omarosa
and Joan Rivers cry.

5. All eight kids divorce their parents and get the rights to all the
money their parents have made off of them.

Tim from Soge Shirts

New t-shirts for May

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 20 May 2009 22:03:00 +0000

Rainbows come from a magical place, not science and everyone knows
that. Since rainbows are magical it only makes sense that they come
from a magical mythical creature such as the unicorn. Despite the
unicorns beauty and magical qualities a unicorn can not create a
rainbow out of nothing. It releases the rainbow out of a bodily
function known to them as passing beauty and known to us as passing
gas or farting. Everyone has bodily functions, just unicorns are
better at producing 7 different beautiful colors out of their toots.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6647724

Our next shirt is genuis/genius.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6629880

Yes they are two different shirts. By wearing one you are saying to the
world I am a brilliant mind and am proud enough to tell everyone about
it. I like sudoku, crossword puzzles, and enjoy mensa meeting
biweekly. By wearing the other shirt you are saying I like to wear
funny and ironic t-shirts and intelligent people will get the joke.
I'll let you decide which shirt is which since I assume everyone
reading out there are geniuses.

Our last great graphic t-shirt is available at
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6713797
Welcome to fantasy Island! This shirt beats the pants off the tv show get it? The dancing red on the shirt indicates a playful nature of things to come. Any
fantasy that you can imagine that is rated pg 13 in nature can be
achieved as a result of buying this t-shirt. We can't be responsible
for all you moms leaving your hubbys for Brad Pitt or George Clooney.
The other great benefit to the shirt is you are automatically much
more friendly than a walmart greeter. They can only welcome people to
walmart while you welcome them to an island of fantasy. What is better
an adventure of a lifetime or twenty cents off of Scott paper towels?

Tim

Omg Crack Yay Mens Funny T-Shirts on Sale $12.99

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Omg Crack Yay Mens Funny T-Shirts on Sale $12.99

Guys be ironic by wearing this hilarious OMG Crack Yay t-shirt for Men from Soge Shirts.

Step over the line of regular fun shirts, and into a
skinny, wire haired, laugh out loud joke habit.

Its a tiny cartoon girl
cheering for crack omg! Its crack woo hoo ...

Originally this shirt
sells for $22.99 on our website, but for $10 bucks less, it's only $12.99

We did the math for you, cause we know you like to save.

We all get excited for different reasons, so here's a
funny offensive
joke t-shirt about drugs,

OMG how crude. Who doesn't want a girl who
gets excited about crack.

Whether that's the crack of the moon light, the crack that kills, or
the crack of the behind.
Any woman can appreciate a man who appreciates
her excitement.

It doesn't hurt to have a sense of humor, either. We do not condone

jumping up in the air for crack, however you are free to do as you
please.

Buy this funny tshirt and people will laugh with you because they get

the joke that crack really isn't cool. Of course I'm sure there are

some crack heads you know, you room with, or walked by, that probably

won't get the joke and ask if you have any crack.

You only have a
really funny graphic t-shirt, a smile on your face, and excitement in

your heart. Plus $10 in your pocket to hand out to help any girls you

see, getting excited about the bad crack.

T-shirt for Men.

5000

Gildan

Gildan® 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Descriptions

* 5.4-ounce 100% cotton

* Seamless double needle collar

* Taped neck and shoulders

* Double needle sleeve and bottom hems Finished Garment Measurements

Sizes S M L XL

Here are what people are saying about this crazy offensive t shirt.

From Sassy Irish Lassie: thursday thirteen - it's been this kind of week Blog

TexasRed said... Love this shirt! We definitely all need a little rebellion now and then!
April 17, 2009 10:22 AM

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said... I would absolutely wear that shirt! Love it!
April 17, 2009 12:55 PM

Ann said... OMG!
I love it :->

April 17, 2009 6:02 PM

Buy this shirt if... you are a hip college kid that knows how to bring the irony

Grab this joke T if you're an adult that wants to shake things up and
show society

... they can't put you in a box

Hold onto this Tee Shirt if you cheer for crack. Sometimes being literal works,

and you can always use it as a calling card to some excitement.

More Funny Graphic T-shirts from Soge Shirts

Burger King of butts

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:42:00 +0000

I find the Burger kings promotion of Spongebob Squarepants using a
Sir Mix a lot parody a little disturbing. Pairing Sir Mix a lots love
of rumps with a beloved kids cartoon character might be the worst
combination since bacon mayonnaise. I can't figure out who Burger King
is trying to target in this ad. Are they going after the eight year
old boys who like butts demographic or the adults who enjoy ladies
in square pants fetish?

Sir mix a lot wins in this commercial as he shovels more money in the bank. Who knew loving big asses would make him not have to work another
day in his life. As odd and weird as Burger Kings square butts
commercial was I'll give them some credit for not doing a hello kitty
hello pussy commercial. The Burger King would not have it his way in jail
if they did that one. Pickles would definitely be included in buns of course.

Now that Burger King has come up with a really bad parody linked to
kids tv shows, I wanted to come up with some other bad parodies of
songs that could sell some nifty products.

- Flomax uses the Frankie goes to Hollywood song "Relax don't do it".
In this commercial a nervous man with his legs crossed is sitting on a
bench looking uncomfortable. The new lyrics for the song are relax just do it. Flomax will get you through it. Relax just do it when you want to go. The commercial ends with the guy running to the restroom.

-Coppertone sunscreen takes the Nirvana song "You Know you're Right"
and makes it "you know you're white" to sell sunscreen. Some of the
lyrics changes include "you never were good at basketball, you don't
know how to dance at all, the sunlight bothers you, use sunscreen
daily too. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey you know you're white you
know you're white.

- Victoria's secret takes Right Said Fred's nineties hit "I'm too sexy
for my shirt" and changes it to I'm too sexy for my skirt and shows
Victoria secret models in lingerie. Oh wait that would work actually and
be the best commercial ever.

Tim

Sugar and Spice, Who says i have to be nice? A Naughty T-shirt for Women

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:36:00 +0000

Sugar and Spice, Who says i have to be nice? A Naughty T-shirt for Women

Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice according to
a society of nursery rhyming hermits who wont leave the closet for fear that the sun will assassinate them. No amount of Naughty T-shirts, will save that poor soul from meeting a woman with your balance of Beauty and Vixen. We think sugar and
spice, sans the nice, can be a pretty provocative combination. You've got the "one glance in your direction just gave me a cavity," sweetness. You've got a voice that commands attention, whatever the cost. You've got it all, the walk the look, the nothing short of awesome, Aura. All you need is a Cute but sexy t-shirt with a pin up girl tattoo to add to the Greatness you posses. According to our $0.50 garage sale history book purchase, well behaved women rarely make their mark. If your a
rebel or a rocker girl tattooed from the toes to the nose, this may be the naughty shirt for you. This
is the tshirt that says to your boyfriend or husband "go make me a
sandwich and don't forget the beer." Forget being a Betty Crocker some
days you just want to be a Betty Page and be treated like the sexy
pinup goddess people die for. Rock the sugar and spice shirt on casual
Friday as a way to say this is how you do casual.

We've concocted some easier words to say than concocted, and some very sweet places to rock this charming graphic t-shirt for women. From
the boys at Soge shirts.

We currently devised two styles, for Blondes and Brunettes. (Sorry Red Heads, if you really want one, email us)

1. At a baby shower for a friend who is having a girl - Change up the
Culture of the baby shower by buying your friend's baby a sugar and
spice onsie, or a sugar and spice bib. It will be a nice
change of pace from the scones, noisy toys, and tea sets your friend is
going to unwrap. Give your girlfriend a reason to keep her youthful edge alive, and pass her sugar and spice onto her children. A baby girl in her terrible two’s, isn't so sweet anymore. Give the baby shower gift that steals the naughty trophy, but still wins the approval of the sweet hearts who wrapped diapers.

2. The DMV - The DMV is a place where Nice is number # 3,374 in line, and they're serving number 4. Wearing
the shirt there lets the Department of Motor Vehicles know that if they want to bitch
about your registration, and those 17 parking tickets, they will be dealt with accordingly. If they chose to walk down the sugary road of smiles... they might live until it's time for their own license renewal.

3. A Club a Bar or a Dance Hall - The shirt says it all. If you don't feel like being hit on
by yuppie businessman or unshaven wildebeest, (we've seen some weird people) then utilize this bad to the bone tshirt as a sweet loser
shield. You won't even have to dance in a circle with your friends
because most guys will know that you can bite sometimes.

4. Rock Concert - A pin up girl T-shirt at a Rock show. Nuff said.

The Best Las Vegas T-shirt. Almost 99% Guaranteed to get you free drinks.

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:33:00 +0000

The Best Las Vegas T-shirt. Almost 99% Guaranteed to get you free drinks.

The lights, the glamour, the strippers, the money, the food, the money, the shows, the hookers and the beer are all things we leave behind when we leave Las Vegas. Hopefully most of you take home some money, and if you’re lucky, a stripper. The question that remains is “How to get free stuff while partying in Vegas.”

My answer to you my friend is the official Las Vegas T-shirt. The Hello My Name is Buy me a drink T-shirt is the Greatest double fisting, official drink for free shirt, ever invented.

Some may say this is only speculation, but proof resides in the massive amounts of hang over reports by friends and family collected by the institute of higher drinkers, that state “I didn’t have to say anything. They just handed me a drink” – Anonymous, California.

This is not your average run of the mill funny drinking tshirt. It is in fact a direct statement towards an amazing dance of conversation, and consideration, that turn strangers into friends. The shirt has a “Hello my name is” sticker, usually reserved for business meetings, book clubs, and pyramid scheme conventions. However, this is not your ordinary hello my name is sticker. This sticker provides a warm greeting of “Hello my name is” showing the receiver of this message that you are open to a hand shake or a handout, and plan to offer a greeting of your illustrious name. Once they commit to accepting this greeting, they are overwhelmed by humor as they find out what your name is. A simple request, with first, last and middle names. “Buy me a drink.” For a second, they can’t believe that this awesome sweet tee shirt actually has the sticker and buy me a drink printed on it! After a quick breath to regain consciousness and the laughter subsides, they are more inclined to get you a beer, or a shot, than they were before they saw your awesome Vegas tshirt.

60% of the time, it works every time. Except the other 90% of the time it works, it really works. You drink for free with these Drinking t-shirts. Ladies, if you have the looks to get free drinks, in Vegas, in clubs, or even at Denny’s, but you want to show how personable and funny your sugary insides are, they’re available for you, in a style all your own. Check out how cute you can look in a buy me a drink t-shirt for women.

If I was wearing my buy me a drink Las Vegas drinking t-shirt, and came across a beautiful woman such as yourself, with a Hello my name is buy me a drink women’s t-shirt, the streets of Vegas would shake with the power of alcohol exploding as we toast to free drinks. I warn you, it is not voodoo, nor is it a revelation, prophesized over 1,000 years ago, that there will be a flood of free drinks, greater than the free drinks you get in Vegas already for gambling. No sir, this is a warning that you might wake up pants less, looking for your buy me a drink t shirt, so you can escape down the hall, pick up food from the left over neighbors room service, and get yourself a Bloody Mary, to stop your head from spinning.

This cool shirt can only provide free laughs and booze, not protection from…what’s their name.

Starting a T-shirt Company from Scratch, and Building Something More than Tshirts

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:57:00 +0000

You wear shirts all the time. You've got some amazing ideas about how to create your own clothing line. We recommend getting your feet wet by using a third party website that allow you to open your own clothing store. It's fast, it's easy, and you can make money any time. They do most of the work, so you can concentrate on the foundation of your Amazing T-shirt graphics, cause that's what sells. Anyone can put words on tshirts, but putting your own creative spin on those cool designs, is what T-shirt lovers value. Some 3rd party websites that allow you to make custom t-shirts, and other products are:

cafepress.com

Or Spreadshirt

You can even try Shirt Magic

You can create your designs on computer. You will need a graphic design program such as Microsoft paint, Photoshop,

or other Adobe products Like Adobe Illustrator, or the whole entire package, the Creative Suite 4 (CS4)

The reason for the programs, is you will have to create some form of design, whether it's a simple text design tshirt, or a more artistic graphic design t-shirt, you need to create Vector images, or images that have a transparent background.
Which will allow you to create and design whatever you like, and with cafepress , directly load your design onto the products of your choosing. They even have a great design tutorial and Beginners Image Workshop , that explains the correct way to design for their products. They will take you step by step learning how to create and design your images to put on clothing and merchandise. Starting with a third party website is perfect for low budget starting companies, looking to have someone handle the printing and shipping of the products, as well as the merchant services, and customer services. You wont have to charge one credit card yourself, or handle any returns or discrepancies.

Most third party custom clothing sites allow you to personalize your shop's page and colorize and customize your layout. Granted you know a little bit about HTML, and web design, you can take your shop to the next level with flash design, and custom banners and logos. YOU are in control of what you sell, how much you sell, and what you want to sell. If you love dogs and dolphins, and there's a market for dog owners and aquatic adventurers, make a t-shirt for dogs that has some artwork of dolphins on it. If you're a mother, and want to sell cute adorable clothing for moms and their kids, design some cute stuff. ANYTHING goes, except for explicit content, explained by each website. If you take some time designing your products, those products will be on auto pilot, so to speak, and as long as you pay any small monthly fees, your products can sell while you sleep. That's right, your funny hilarious t-shirts, and cool awesome products, will make you money 24 hours a day. Sounds easy, right? It is, and we've joined thousands of shop owners, making money off their creativity.

Here's our Shops sogeshirts.com and Shirts For Moms

Diving into the T-shirt Pool and Making your T-shirts Store, Stand Out.

Climbing to the top of the cafepress shop top money makers

When creating designs try to brainstorm ideas that haven't been done. It's hard, but think of things that you appreciate, and try to ask people around you, such as co-workers, or people who will not be bias towards your design. You can even go as far as talking to other shop owners to find what niche works best for your style. If you have experience in market research, by all means, study market trends, on what your target market is, and design for those consumers. This way you can grab an understanding of what the consumer might like. Try a new spin on a common saying and throwing in a pun in there to make it something funny and interesting of your own. Design a graphic all your own, and illustrate your funny phrase, deep emotional connection, or random information, to give the consumer more value for their product. Your shirts don't have to be hilarious funny t-shirts, but they can be artistic, or political, or even educational, spiritual, or any type of artwork, you have created, or appreciate. Try designing specific designs with common names on them, or celebration gifts for birthdays of all ages. You can go as far as obtain a license for selling other people's artwork. We currently have two artists, who's amazing artwork, we've placed on t-shirts, mugs, clocks, posters, stickers, ornaments, magnets, dog tees, mouspads, pillows, teddy bears, underwear and more. Almost anything you can imagine, can be on a product. Check out Soge Shirts sogeshirts.com for a great example.

Or check out other companies, that bring shirt design and selling, to the internet. Like a leader in the business

It's a good idea to browse tshirt companies, to see how they're built, how they attract people to their site, and what quality and value they bring to each potential consumer. Another company is Reckless Tees

If you feel your idea is not quite original, or have doubts, please research trademark and copyright infringements.

Building an Awesome T-shirt Website, that Drives Sales, and Profit Right to Your Pocket

Take a look at your store and products from a consumer's perspective

Take a look at your site as if you wanted to buy something. Take a look at your store and products from a consumer's perspective. Are the colors working? are things easy to get to? Is there enough information for your products? Do you want to come back to this site? What is it you get when you visit this site? By thinking like a customer, you can get a good idea of what they will be looking for when they come to your site.

Hopefully you already have some designs created, next is to spend some time on your shop's website. If you need to brush up on your HTML skills, check out W3Schools, for a fast, simple way to learn HTML, and how to code websites. Personally, I use Dreamweaver, From Adobe.
If you have a little money to spend, pick up this website building program. It has a great Help section, and online tutorials that will give you Massive amounts of web building power, more than any template can give you. By completely customizing your website, you can update it at any time, easily with Dreamweaver, with only limited knowledge of HTML and web design.

If you open a Cafe Press Premium Shop, and have built your own website, seperate from Cafe Press, DO check out this amazing PHP tool, from CPSHOP. It takes all your products from cafepress.com and places them inside your own website, with somewhat great ease. If you have a problem, Marty, is awesome and has Forums, and message boards to help you every step of the way, and he even gets involved if you're slow like myself, and sometimes get confused. Much Love Marty.

Market Research is a Great Way to Know Your Customer.

Gather information on your potential customers, and their style of shopping. We made the mistake of making our first shop, really bright, and cluttered, and too much going on, that it was very difficult for the shopper to concentrate on our products. The look and feel of your shop, should potentially match those people viewing your site. Find colors that complement your shops style, but don't drive away potential customers. Adding value to your store, such as a newsletter subscription, or blog feed, or even some simple but effective you tube videos, to increase reasons people would want to stay on your website. Soge Shirts uses a blog to keep friends and customers connected to the value we offer, along side our awesome products. This can increase the chance of your products being seen, by grabbing another aspect of social marketing, and turn new customers onto the style of service you provide. Of course we have links to our shops, and display our shirts on the blog as well. Much like the Newsletter subscriptions, the blog is a great tool for users to recieve rss feeds based on news released through the blog, or any product updates, and potential headlines your shop might produce. The longer someone is navigating your site, and staying connected to your brand, the higher potential there is for your products to be seen, and eventually sold.

You'll need to buy a domain name (the virtual address of your site), find a place to host your website, and the desire to create your shop. Many places can build one for you, and some can give you design tools to create one yourself. GoDaddy.com Yahoo! Web Hosting, Yahoo uses a web hosting service to allow your site to be visited and operated. Yahoo also has online stores you can open, if you plan on getting a seller's permit, and business license to sell products from your home Yahoo! Merchant Solutions - Open a yahoo store.We have found that purchasing multiple t-shirts for cheap, then having a silk screener, or graphics printing company, print your designs onto the shirts, selling them gives us a larger amount of profit. This ultimately is how companies start out selling, then moving into huge warehouses, and taking over the market. Start small, and move to larger leaps and bounds. The great thing about a third party company, it can build the revenue and designs for printing and selling your own tshirts. In addition, a shop can provide market research, based on which designs sell the most, then you would decide what designs to print yourself.

If you're not a webmaster, you can use a website that offers "website templates" you can use to build a personal website. Create a biography about yourself and what you do/what your goals are for the company. This creates value and allows the customer the chance to get to know you, and relate to the shop owner.

On this site you can try to set up affiliate ads with other companies and receive commission when someone buys something from a linked company through your site. Search in the google search engine for "adsense", or "paid per click" advertising. This way, you can generate revenue for each person who comes to your site, and clicks on your ads. Try and not saturate the web page with ads, because we want your viewers to see your products. Make sure to tag your Designs. Tagging your designs, is a great way for your products and website to come up higher on the search lists of major search engines.

Once you have got your feet wet and have a good number of designs go ahead and transfer over to producing your own shirts. Once you gain some market insight as to what shirts of yours people are talking about, and which designs are selling, you can start to have your own shirts made. Some ways of producing your shirts are: screen printing, heat transfer, Iron on, Direct Printing, and embroidery. You can buy shirts wholesale inexpensively and get your designs printed Fairly cheap as well. Make sure you do the math right produce the shirts in bulk amounts, for less than you would sell them to the public.

Since you've got your own shirts, department stores, boutiques, and online stores can start to sell your product. Take a few personally made shirts around town to see if stores would like to sell your shirts. This is where you have to be a salesperson, and believe in your product, have confidence in your design, and bring reasons why people will buy your shirts into those stores, and they will likely agree, and purchase some of your products to sell in stores.

Its not a bad idea to give some of your biggest fans some free shirts. You're going to need a shopping cart on your page. GoDaddy.com has a wonderful site hosting and shopping cart tools. You are also going to have to be able to take orders and ship to your customers in a reasonable amount of time. I might suggest UPS. or USPS. Whichever you think is cheapest and speediest.

Does having your own website outside of a custom t-shirt shop increase traffic and sales?

Build your Google Page Rank, and Increase SEO by optimizing website

Yes it does. It gives you another platform for your products to be seen. You can submit the site to directories, as a complete entity outside your custom shop. You can use SEO tips and tricks to optimize your website for the highest search engine results. SEO is needed because you can attach keywords, phrases, and words people would search for when they go to sites such as google, and yahoo, or ask.com and live.com, and search for t-shirts or products.

A good idea would be to go ahead and start and join a social networking site for your t shirt company such as Myspace or Facebook or Twitter, etc. to get a easy way to communicate with your public, and find out which ideas or designs can fly with the masses. You'll even be able to write blogs, or bulletins ot inform your friends when new shirts come out, and even entertain them a little bit. We recommend that you add 100 friends a day on Myspace or so to build your brand recognition and cultivate relationships. You can stay connected to your consumers and use blogs and messages to find out what your market wants on their shirts. They can comment on your photos of products you upload and figure out what is popular, and what is not so popular. You can even network orders through those site. Free stuff, free stuff, is always a great way to Bring value to your site.

If you have some cash, give a way some free products in a contest. Promote the contest as much as possible, to have people come to your site, sign up for a newsletter, or blog, or submit emails about your site to their friends, for a chance to win a free product. Great way to increase recognition of your brand, increase SEO, and increase your page rank in google, all leading to more traffic, more looks at your products, and more sales.

One thing many good websites incorporate to drive their page rank higher, and increase traffic to their site, is Links pages. Creating a links page or link directory, is a way to increase your popularity with the search engines. Contact people about exchanging links. You put their site address or URL on your website. They return the favor. You both get links pointing towards your website, and search engines love when you have more links pointing towards your site. More links to your site, the more important it is for the search engines. The more important the website is, teh higher it will show up in search results. (there is a method to this madness, and google's figured it out). If you have a direct link to your website, (ex: a one way link, where some other site, links to your site, and you don't link to them) tends to hold more weight with Google and other search engines. If you have more than one website. Request a link exchange with another website, and ask to place their link, on website #2, which will point towards their website. They get a direct link. Have them put up a link to your website #1, where you want most of the traffic, and you get a direct link to your site. Everybody wins.
Soge Shirts is open to link exchanges, click here to view our links directory.

A Fast way to increase traffic to your website, is directory submital.

Go to Google.com, Yahoo.com, or use those search engines to search for more directories where you can submit your website's url, in order to get index and recorded in their searches. This way, your site will appear in search results, whenever someone searches for terms in your website.

Another technique is using target market titles, descriptions, content and keywords.

- Put key phrases and words based on what content and products your shop will be selling, right into your title.
- Give the description of your shop a good use of keywords and relative phrases to your content, and products. It's a good idea to match your descriptions, with the content in your page as much as possible. This gives you a higher standing with Search Engines. For a good tool on how to check your websites title, description, content, and keywords for SEO optimization, is this site: SEO Central Web Marketing Resources.
- Place keywords relevant to your site's content (the written words and sentences on your website, not contained in ALT tags and images. Words a consumer would type in to find your products.
Lastly, it's promoting your site. Any advertising site is good. If you can do banner exchanges of banners and logo's you've created, in exchange for banners of other companies, on your site, GO FOR IT!. It's a fast and easy way to get free advertising for your shop. Any way to spread your site around is a great idea. Word of mouth, submit your website to search engine companies, and internet advertising on high traffic sites, such as google, ebay, yahoo, myspace, facebook, and other. There are many forums and such for all types of topics, you can create a profile, and use your website link in that profile, and comment on forums, to help spread your site's name and url around the internet.

For Advertising on our own site, we use Bidvertiser they are a pay per click advertiser. Commission junction, Google Adsense, and Click Bank are all great Paying Ad sites that will pay you money to put their ads on your website.

_________ with the stars

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:05:00 +0000

Dancing with the stars continues to be one of the most watched and talked about shows on television. The funny thing is the celebrities on there are usually b to D list celebrities (Steve-O, Holly Madison etc) or reality star nobodies like the dumped girl from the bachelor. While the dancing that they do is quite impressive and takes a lot of skill I almost wonder if people will watch anything with the stars.

Here are some of my ideas for tv shows with the stars that could be big hits.

1. Camera breaking with the stars. In this show papparazi attempt to annoy the crap out of any A list to D list celebrity that they can. Using their phenomenal stalking powers the soulless camera men irritate and prod until they get their first celebrity to pull a Kanye West and break the camera. Celebrities will be judged on how long it took them to break the camera, camera breaking technique, whether they punched the cameraman in the eye, and degree of camera breaking difficulty (obviously a tripod is worth more.)

2. Child raising with the stars- In this show Alec Baldwin is granted full custody to the Octomoms 14 kids. He must redeem himself as a parent following his embarrassing phone call in which he yelled at his young 11 year old daughter. The role of father to 14 will be the toughest of his career but at least he will have Dr. Phil in his corner providing moral support/mountains of pampers.

3. mental institutions with the stars- Celebrity rehab is already a hit so why not go a step further and do a show about stars checking into mental institutions. The British singer whose name rhymes with Gamy Pinehouse will surely be a cast member as well as the first actor to play Batman and the last. The show will be hosted by former cast member Britney Spears who will be rocking some hip straightjackets.

The Horror

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:26:00 +0000

So Friday the 13th the 42nd is now once again number one at the box office. How many more horror remakes can we take? I believe there is a perpetual horror green room filled with Michael Myers from Halloween, Jason from Friday the 13th, and Chucky from Child's Play and they all play rock, paper, scissors to see which crappy franchise to remake. If they are going to do a remake at least add a twist to it. Here are some horror movie remakes that might be a bit more fun.

Seniors play- In this remake of Child's Play Chucky the satanic doll has aged quite a bit and is no longer stabbing his victims with a butcher knife. Instead Chucky now called Charles, because no 70 year old man should be named Chucky, is confined to an old folks home and is hitting his victims feebly with a cane. Whenever he hits someone he is denied his bread pudding and has to go to bed at 4pm. The movie ends with Charles adopting a stuffed animal puppy.

Carrie 4 in the city- In this remake Carrie is once again doused with blood and freaks out. She gets blood dumped on her by Peta for wearing too many fur coats to fashion shows she is covering for her magazine. Because of this she freaks out and in a fit of rage divorces her husband Mr. Big. She moves in with her friend Samantha and they chase young twenty somethings into their sixties. Hint: The references in here are to a TV show that I won't admit to watching/liking but its pretty good.

Nightmare on Wall street- Freddy Krueger no longer haunts peoples' dreams he just hangs out on Wall street shooting the shit with depressed businessmen. He doesn't even kill people anymore he just tries to help people rebuild their 401k's and provide moral support. Don't ask him about Obama's stimulus bill cause he tends to always want to slash every program in site.

I left Las Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:28:00 +0000

I just returned from a vacation from Las Vegas. I experienced what I like to call first hand smoke. Their was so much cigarette smoke in the air from depressed down on their luck Vegas folk that I looked like I was a chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins after every day. The most amusing moment in Vegas was when my girlfriend and I walked past the fountains in front of the Bellagio and were subjected to a very angry Michael Jackson impersonator along with his fellow impersonator Captain Jack Sparrow. Why was fake Michael Jackson angry (and I use the term fake quite loosely given the original Michael Jackson's state )? Apparently he did his Michael Jackson dance performance and I didn't even notice he was there till I walked by. Having not received any of my money I could feel the cold dead eyes seething through the terrible makeup job and I feared I was going to get rhinestone glove slapped. Besides Captain Jack may have had one of those plastic swords and you don't mess with a grown man carrying a plastic sword.

Although the brilliant fountain show was going on I wondered to myself what made those two costumed gents one day decide that they would be street performers. Also although Captain Jack could get some gigs at kid parties I'm not sure about that Michael Jackson. My advice to Michael Jackson impersonator guy is to start impersonating Miley Cyrus if he wants to make the big bucks at parties. Maybe a Jonas brother at the very least if you can't pull the girl thing lest I remind you that you are already wearing a wig and make up. Well as you can see this blog is pretty random and pointless but I just got back from Vegas and it kinda sums up the nature of the town.

Later facebook friend i'm hungry

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:21:00 +0000

Don't know if you guys heard about this but until yesterday Burger King had an application on facebook in which if you sacrificed ten facebook friends you would receive a free whopper. Apparently facebook friendships aren't very important and 233,906 online friendships were ended. I can understand getting rid of ten facebook friends that you really don't know but I'm sure there were people out there that dumped some buddies for 3 dollars and fifty cents of angus beef on a bun. Surely more of these sacrifice applications will emerge in the next year or so. Here are five possibilities.

1. Dump your boyfriend/girlfriend via the let's just be friends facebook application and receive a free two weeks of matches on match.com

2. Convert to a new religion via the you are now saved in whatever denomination you just chose application and receive 15 percent off on the new religious book you just bought.

3. Put your pet to sleep via the get something cuter application and receive a coupon from your nearest puppy mill.

4. Foreclose your house via the you're screwed application and you get a coupon for nothing cause you're screwed.

5. Get rid of any myspace friends you have via the thanks for crushing myspace application and facebook will give you the super duper poke app.

Funny t-shirts: Join soge club

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:34:00 +0000

As some of you may not know a few days ago we redesigned our funny t-shirt shop http://sogeshirts.com Our site is now more organized, cleaner, has more shirts, and is able to leap buildings in a single bound. We would love everyone who reads the blog to sign up to soge club on the home page by leaving your email, answering a few questions, and confirming your subscription in your email. Soge club will very rarely be used for updates on new shirts and bargains. Instead you will receive special funny emails written by me, some odd or amusing t-shirts from around the web, and a toy prize. Ok maybe not a toy prize but we will throw in some prizes in there every once in a while. You can sign up directly here http://sogeshirts.com/signupform.html Also check out our about me section where Dave and I post our funny story of how the t-shirt company got started. Feel free to give us feedback and let us know how superkickassomegawesome the site is or if you think it sucks keep it to yourself. Just kidding tell us that too.

Also here are some of our latest t-shirt designs. Here is a funny social media t-shirt poking fun at twitter. For those of you that don't use twitter the @ replay crushing the bird represents when you talk to one of your twitter friends. If you have over a 1000 like me then you can get overwhelmed with @ replies or twitter will crash. Thus the bird gets crushed.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6373867

Here's our new cute kids t-shirt I color outside the lines. Its for the rebel kid or the kid that has no artistic talent such as myself.

http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6278947

We are also going to be making some really terrific graphic t-shirts. Here is a great skull pirate shirt.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/5966909

Finally we put up a funny graphic t-shirt making fun of heads vs tails. Heads and Tails want to end their rivalry once and for all.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6343584

The first human clone

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:38:00 +0000

He's on American Idol, an E news show, hosts a radio program in southern California, co hosts rocking new years eve with Dick Clarke I'm convinced that Ryan Seacrest has cloned himself. There is no other possible way he can do all these things at once and stay that cheery and androgynous. He must have cloned himself or made enthusiastic Simon Cowell handling robots of himself. I stick with the clone theory though because Seacrest still possesses some humanity amidst his smorgasbord of hollywood jobs. He's working so hard that even Oprah and Donald Trump are telling him to take it easy. There is this joke that Chuck Norris can defeat anything and anyone but I think he would get Seacrested. The Seacrest clones are too fast and too enthusiastic.

Seacrest may be a lot older than he looks. Who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby? Seacrest. Who built stonehenge? Seacrest clones of course and they whisteled the whole time. Most important why is the economy bad? The Seacrest borgs have taken up all the jobs and they aren't sharing. They especially are taking up all the waiter, concierge, and host jobs. You can't compete with their hard work, service with a smile, and the years of Simon Cowell putdowns have made them resistant to any negative complaints or shouts.

The question is how can you stop the Seacrest army? First of all bazookas don't work. The best way is to counter the enthusiasm of a Seacrest is with mega enthusiasm. Seacrest will then attempt to supermegaoutpep you and may self destruct. Do not use any drugs when attempting to outsunshine the seacrest as he has drug sniffing dogs partnering up with Seacrests all over town that will bite. Also cause drugs are bad mmkay. Science may not be ready for human cloning but American Idol, E news daily, star 107.1, stonehenge, and waiter jobs are so be careful out there.

New weeks resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:47:00 +0000

People love to make new years resolutions but I don't even bother. Goals are great and all, but year long goals are too general and long term for me. In my opinion making new day resolutions or new week resolutions is a lot more effective. A new years resolution of losing 40 pounds sounds like a great goal but there is no timetable leaving not much personal responsibility. If you're a regular gym user how often have you seen the person with the new headband and sweatpants show up to steal the last treadmill in January? Instead of being angry I laugh cause I know by February he will be seen less at a gym than a rap artist performing at the country music awards.

Its not that the guys new years goal was a bad one its just that he didn't pace himself. Its like trying to sprint in a marathon. If he set a weekly goal of going to the gym three times a week he would not be stressed out trying to burn all his holiday fat. Going to the gym is a skill just like anything else. You're not going to be ripped like Arnold overnight just like someone learning to cook isn't going to be Rachel Ray by February. Set tiny daily goals reach those goals and keep improving. Do this and next year you can brag about keeping up with your new years resolutions while I sit on the couch stuffing myself with see's candies.

company halt

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:55:00 +0000

I just don't trust companies any more. Job security in this day and age seems rarer than a solar eclipse occurring on leap year. Budget cuts are more common than paper cuts and it seems that quality employees are being dropped like a cruel game of hot potato. Sadly with this economy in shambles many people are desperate for get not poor schemes as get rich schemes don't seem in reach. Many people are making money scamming the unemployed people out of money which is revolting and disgusting.

Right now the best option in this day and age seems to be to start a honest business from home within a particular niche market. The other option seems to be finding small opportunities on the internet to get paid doing surveys, copywriting, promoting companies that want to whore out products, and my favorite begging for donations. Honestly I don't blame anyone anymore for trying to make money legally by any means necessary. I used to laugh at an episode of the Simpsons where homer urged people to send one dollar to happy dude if they wanted to be happy. Now its a genius idea. In fact I heard of this website where this guy begged for five dollar bills and made like 20 thousand dollars. Online begger or entrepreneur genius? In this day and age who cares what the label is as long as you have money in your bank account.

Orgyvision

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:13:00 +0000

One thing I can't stand about television is for characters who belong to a tight knit group of friends or colleagues to all have sex with each other. This concept I call Orgyvision. Take Grey's Anatomy for example. Every character on that show has partner switched more often than Illinois Governors get sent to prison. How do these fictional surgeons have time to operate on any patients when they are always operating on each other?

Saved by the bell got it right. That show believed in monogamy. Zach and Kelly, Slater and Jesse, Screech and his hand. Nothing scandalous there, just wacky teenagers growing up normal in high school. Contrary to Saved by the Bell the show Friends was another one of the orgy bed hopping TV series. Despite Ross and Rachel being in love the six friends were extremely friendly with one another. Even Joey and Rachel hooked up at one point. I don't even want to know what Ross did with his pet monkey. Say what you want about Polygamists but at least in Polygamy people get married. Although they need to let women take multiple husbands as it would guarantee someone would take out the trash.

The message that television provides to young kids is build friendships and relationships with the opposite sex. If something goes wrong in your main relationship hook up with one of your best friends later in the week. That certainly won't lead to any dire consequences down the line.

On the TV show Lost Kate is in a love triangle with Sawyer and Jack. To boost ratings this season she needs to get with Sayid, Hurley, the Smoke Monster, and a Coconut. Can you imagine what orgyvision would have been like if it spread to cartoons such as the smurfs? Poor Smurfette and Vanity Smurf would be sore (yes he's a dude). I suppose the bright side would be no more blue balls.

Unfortunately I think orgyvision is here to stay. Ratings are king and nothing is more intriguing to humans than watching others make bed hopping an olympic sport. Jerry Springer and tabloid magazines would not have thrived if this wasn't the case. I leave this discussion with this final thought... Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

We gotta kill hitler bro

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:56:00 +0000

In the upcoming movie Valkyrie Tom Cruise plays a German officer in the Nazi army who hatches a plot to kill Hitler. I find it kind of amusing from the previews just how non German Cruise sounds. Why not get Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman, and Kermit the frog to play the part. Then you have English German, Australian German, and Muppet Frog German. Without a trace of a German accent Cruise declares that we have got to kill Hitler. I think a guy whose character's name is Claus should at least be drinking a Beck's or listening to some David Hasselhoff techno song. Plus without subtitles or a German accent the task of killing Hitler using an American accent doesn't seem as urgent.

Claus: Bro we gotta kill Hitler. Hes such a dick.

English German: Go away I'm watching Abbot and Costello. I still have no idea who is on first.

Claus: Dude that can wait. I'll buy you a best of Abbot and Costello movie reel now lets shoot that bitch ass mustache wearer.

English German: Throw in a Chaplin movie reel.

Claus: Fine man but you got to make me my favorite German dish when we're done.

English German: Hot dogs and apple pie it is.

Twitter glossary updated

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:06:00 +0000

I like using twitter to keep up with my favorite blogs and let my many awesome extremely intelligent and remarkable fans know that I have a new blog post to annoy them er entertain them with. One thing that I love about twitter is its 140 character limit. This forces me to send little short blurbs that hopefully get to the point. Usually these points are whining. Twitter is great for whining. I like complaining about the 70 degree and sunny weather out here in southern california to my twitterati buddies just to confuse and anger them. Nothing better than receiving a 140 character profanity laced tirade. In twitter when you send a message its called a tweet. I'm sure they would have called it Tweeter if it wasn't for that stupid electronics store. When i send a message its called a twit. Tweets are important my twits are usually stupid and pointless like having a 162 game baseball regular season. If you're new to twitter here is some lingo used in the twitter world.

Twitthore- basically a person that sends more that 200 messages on twitter a day and updates their status every five seconds. A twit whore if you will.

taking a twit- people that take the what are you doing a little too seriously and leave the status of their current bathroom activities.

twatters- people like me who like to bitch on twitter. "my dog died today" boo hoo you twatter. Just kidding thats pretty sad.

twitty- people who can be witty and amuse via twitter. If you are fortunate enough to have some of these as friends bleed them for all the entertainment you can get.

Twitting the hay- When twitter decides to crap out and have technical problems preventing tweets from being sent.

pitch twitter- somebody who tweets for one of their friends while their friend is on vacation.

big twitties- No its not about boobs you pervs, although I wish it was. Big twitties are members of twitter that have over 3,000 followers and can influence the social media spectrum with one tweet.

too legit to twit- Bloggers who think be a magpie, the service that pays people to occasionally put ads in their tweets, is a bad idea or pretty lame.

pity twittys- messaging someone on your twitter friend list not because they have something interesting to say but because they are lonely.

Follow me on twitter at twitter.com/sogeshirts

Vampires always get the girl

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:34:00 +0000

With the movie twilight pulling in 70 million opening weekend its safe to say that the ladies love vampires. The vampire as a romantic character has existed throughout time and the fascination by women with vampires is to me driven by the whole neck fetish vampires have. Despite their affinity for necks the vampires goal is to not trigger one of the women's erogenous zones, but instead to bite the neck and suck up the blood.

Yet sensitive vampires sell and are all over the place. Sensitive vampires such as Edward from Twilight or Angel from Buffy the vampire slayer will choose hot passion with a mortal over their thirst for blood. Yes usually the vampires cast in movies such as Interview with the vampire and Twilight etc are considered by most women to be good looking guys, but why do vampires get more action than other monsters? Zombies are hideously ugly and I don't believe there has ever been a romantic zombie movie where the zombie gets the normal girl. Perhaps if the zombie decided to eat womens earlobes while first nibbling on their ears to warm up instead of brains he would get more play. Certainly like vampires zombies must occasionally have a sensitive young monster who cares more about the girl than the delicious ear lobe he can devour.

Another thing is why are vampires always skinny? You never see a vampire with a beer belly. They are always fit and in shape. It would be kinda funny to see an out of shape vampire try frantically to find a female to seduce/catch and fail miserably. Vlad the inhaler or something. For some reason I don't think the overweight sensitive vampire will be quite the hit with the ladies.

Monopoly's Mr. Moneybags falls on hard times

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:33:00 +0000

This week Soge Shirts got to interview Mr. Moneybags from the board game monopoly. He has fallen on hard times during this economic crisis as he is unable to sell any of his properties since no one has money to buy. We caught up with him sniffing glue at Baltic avenue.

Soge shirts: Mr. Moneybags I just saw that you were trying to sell Marvin Gardens on craigslist for 3000 dollars? Is that true?

Mr. Moneybags: Hell yes its true do you think 3000 is too high? I can go lower I'll sell it to you for twelve bucks and a dime bag.

Soge shirts: No thanks. With no income coming in how are you adjusting to your life as a common man?

Mr. Moneybags: Not very well I'll tell you what. I used to have three ways with miss scarlett from clue and Princess Frostine from candyland. Last week I hooked up with Mr. Peanut and Pop from Rice krispies.

Soge shirts: Well at least you popped a nut I hope just kidding.

Mr. Moneybags starts to cry.

Soge shirts: Sorry that was inappropriate. How are your investments in utilities and the railroads doing?

Mr. Moneybags: I sold those years ago to buy the first car to run on that corn shit. Who knew when times are tough that people would still pay for water and electricity.

Soge shirts: If the property market continues to hover or decline whats next for Mr. Moneybags?

Mr. Moneybags: I'm going to pass go 5000 times to make another million you asshole. I'll have to move in with my son or steal Wilfred Brimley's identity. We look somewhat alike.

Soge shirts: Aside from your tumbling finances do you have any regrets?

Mr. Moneybags: My ties to Halliburton really screwed me. I donated to the Bush campaign and thought that Cheney would make me billions with those sweet defense contracts but instead Cheney shot me in the back on a quail hunt.