SogeShirts.com Presents: Blog of Masterful Entertainment

Office Pranks Shock Flashlight and Rubber Band Humor

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 01:03:00 +0000

Dear employee,

Just when you thought it was safe to sit down at your desk and read your emails, the office prankster strikes again. You've seen the prankster in the parking lot, loitering at your vehicle with evil intentions. You've witnessed the prankster spend far too much time at the water cooler, watching everyone. You've been victim of the "Shocking Flashlight Prank" and fallen head over heels in laughter because you thought a prank would never happen to you. If this sounds like you, definitely check out these office humor pranks. When coworkers think it's just an ordinary flashlight and not a pulsating electrical stick discharging not quite so happy thoughts, it's hilarious.

If you enjoy rubber band shooting, and enjoy causing disruption from your daily work routine, watch this video on YouTube about the proper way to fire a rubber band accurately and far with little or extreme side effects. There are physics and schematics involved in the science of firing a rubberband, but we will just leave the equations to the professionals and enjoy the plethora of items you can hit at the office when you have some free time to horse around. The office humor is just a trigger pull away.

- Dave

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Old School Computer TShirt

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 19:19:00 +0000

Remember before laptops and the iPad when life was simple? When computers at the most were DOS and not many people used them? At Soge Shirts we remember and that is why we created the Old School Computer t-shirt a design we have had since Nov 2008.

The Old School Computer funny geek graphic tshirt features a pencil that has two options. Just like a computer you can either print something or delete something. The pencil tip prints and the eraser deletes. It was so simple and yet so easy. We need to start putting pencils in time capsules now, so in twenty years we can prove to our kids that they really did exist. Schools of the future will be using Macbook Pro's and all those trips to the pencil sharpener for that awesome one minute break will go by the wayside.

One huge advantage of the old school computer was if your pencil didn't work you could sharpen it. If no sharpener was available there was always snapping it in two and pulling a new pencil out of your desk. It doesn't quite work for those new fangled computers dangnabbit. Snapping a real computer in two isn't advisable unless you are in the Office Space movie or are Bill Gates. Smashing a computer makes you an angry nerd while wearing a hilarious nerd tshirt makes you an awesome nerd and by nerd I mean cool just. like how bad means good.

So who needs this humor technology t-shirt? You do of course if you were born in the 80's or earlier. Some people don't believe that dinosaurs exist. With this shirt we can prove that pencils existed and give mad props to the graphite geniuses who came before Kindle and the Ebook. The Old School Computer design makes a great funny tshirt for men and women.

Another reason to get this shirt is maybe you hate technology with a passion. Hopefully with less hate than the Unabomber cause that was way too far. Maybe you hate pens. I mean come on pens get ink all over your hands and they don't have the power of the comforting eraser. Using pens is like drafting an email and not having the ability to edit the email. Whatever you write is out there.

So support the one the only the original: the pencil. The pencil is like the King or the Beatles while the computer is Linkin Park, Eminem or Britney. Hopefully the pencil will be remembered forever. It will with this design. That is for sure :)

Tim

Mark Zuckerberg remakes the constitution

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 23:10:00 +0000

Mark Zuckerberg: Eww this constitution is so Eww it really needs to have some changes made.

Thomas Jefferson: Changes? What changes pray tell should we make to the constitution it's nearly a document of perfection and my life's work?

Mark Zuckerberg: Omg have you seen me fiddle with Facebook. Every document even the Constitution, should be fiddled with every three months, even if the changes make the document worse.

Ben Franklin: What do you suggest Mark?

Mark Zuckerberg: First we got to get rid of this We the people crap. We need more room for pictures at the top and status updates. I just changed my status on the top of the constitution to Mark Zuckerberg is fixing up the constitution. Needs lot of work... LOL

Thomas Jefferson: Why do we need pictures at the top of the constitution?

Mark Zuckerberg: Don't you want to see what Johnny A and Georgie W are up to? I bet they are taking some awesome drunken pics with John Handcock.

Ben Franklin: It's Hancock.

Mark Zuckerberg: Whatevs. Just changed my status update to Ben Franklin is Bifocalsexual. LOL. Oh by the way Thomas Jefferson you just got a constitution relationship request from Sally.

Thomas Jefferson: I know no such Sally. Please deny her formal request for indicating we are in a relationship.

Mark Zuckerberg: Too late. Already accepted it. She already posted on the preamble part that you are the baby's daddy. Oh man my version of the constitution is much more entertaining.

Ben Franklin: This is an abomination. What business is it of ours to know of Jefferson's trysts and non political escapades?

Mark Zuckerberg: Apparently everyone's. James Madison just wrote like, and now Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr are arguing over just how big of a scuzzbucket you are Jefferson. This is getting so good.

Thomas Jefferson: Look at the malice and mayhem you are causing with all these changes to the constitution. This needs to stop.

Mark Zuckerberg: I agree I just changed the constitution again to add locations to check in. Paul Revere checked in at the Boston horse shop and the British just got hold of it and stopped him from riding to Lexington.

Ben Franklin: You fool you just got Hancock and Samuel Adams arrested by the King.

Mark Zuckerberg: Oh well one less beer off the market, I'm so sad LOL. Now I'm off to change the status of the Gettysburg address. Later Failing fathers.

Skull Roses Lock and peace sign design

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:22:00 +0000

Sometimes we need to celebrate the beauty of life. This Hand Sketched Drawing Turned into Beautiful Graphics For Girls Clothing design titled Skull, Roses, Lock and Peace Sign does just that. One thing that symbolizes beauty and love is a red rose. In addition to beauty and love, a red rose also symbolizes courage and respect. I think the Skull in this skull clothing design really pairs together well with red rose as the skull symbolizes our mortality and when you put them together it sends the message of a respect for the beauty and shortness of life. The peace sign in the design while obviously sending the message of peace also while paired with the skull/rose to me represents that life is short and peace needs to be practiced so that love can bloom on Earth instead of wasting time on hate. The lock in this rose artwork design to me represents that you have to unlock your heart to open it up to peace and love.

This design is truly special as it is a hand drawn piece of artwork by President of Soge Shirts David Cree. He originally just started drawing so this design is pure creativity at its finest and was never even intended to become a Soge shirts ladies graphic tshirt design. Since this design was hand drawn you can see all the pencil work and the meticulous detail David did in drawing the bed of roses. Little details like one of the roses being shaped like a heart make one intrigued if there is a deeper story behind the design. The pretty skull in the design if you look at it closely has a bit of a grin on its face and a little heart on its chin. To me this represents that the skull was lucky enough in life to have experienced love, passion, and peace all while unlocking the beauty of life.

Another cool aspect of this design is that since the artwork is hand drawn it looks like it could be a soulful tattoo of some sort. Instead though of enduring the pain and the price of visiting the local tattoo parlor you can rock this soulful pretty rose design on a tshirt. Besides the beauty of the shirt I also think it is kind of has an edgy and rocker feel to it. In fact even though this shirt is intended for women I am a bit jealous of how cool it looks. Just saying.

Don't mess with the Bieber

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 05:37:00 +0000

Don't let the mop top fool you. Justin Bieber is a bad ass. He let it be known the other day as he decided to slap a twelve year old who was calling him derogatory names. Nothing says street cred like backhanding a twelve year old. 12 year olds play in little league while Justin Bieber is the big leagues. There is a reason that Ludacris joins forces with Justin Bieber. It's not cause he respects JB it's because he fears JB.

Bieber once performed the Canadian version of Ludacris's hit single "Move bitch get out the way" and changed the words to "Excuse me miss would you please step aside, please step aside." The new version started a rap riot which ended with Ludacris getting a shiner from the Beebs following a mic slap. During the riot Bieber danced/ assaulted ten Canadian mounted police. The horses were unharmed however as JB rode away on one yelling "fuck you Dudley do right motha fuckas."

Bieber is not the innocent heartthrob the media portrays him to be. In grade school instead of playing kick ball, he kicked kids in the balls. Instead of hop scotch, he played drink scotch. Instead of playing house he played get in the kitchen and make me a sammich. Bieber also has a thing for older women disappointing many of his teenage fans. He is a regular on the Desperate Housewives set and can be often be seen buying condoms in bulk at the local costco. He is also applying to become a UFC fighter but the UFC may rule to ban him due to his vicious sharp nail attack. I'm calling my shot right now that Bieber may be this generation's Clint Eastwood.

Free tshirt scavenger hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 19:06:00 +0000

Welcome to the Soge Shirts scavenger hunt! We're going to give away three prizes and the contest ends Friday Oct. 1st.

1. First and second place get to pick a t-shirt of their choice from http://www.sogeshirts.com. Sorry no sweatshirts or long sleeve shirts just t shirts.

2. Third place gets their choice of a Bananas gone wild shirt, Where rainbows come from shirt, or an OMG crack yay shirt. Winners will be picked from random.org.

There are many ways to gain multiple entries including participating in our scavenger hunt. You can even get an entry by getting us to check out your favorite blog or website and commenting. Here are the ways to enter.

1. Share our Facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/sogeshirtsfunnytshirts with just five of your friends minimum. So easy. (2 entries)

2. Tell us your own personal favorite blog or website by emailing us at info@sogeshirts.com We will comment on it. We love to get to know our fans and customers. (2 entries)

3. Tweet our contest on twitter: RT @sogeshirts Free #tshirt scavenger hunt! Details here. http://bit.ly/9NaJqH #contest ( 1 entry)

4. Go to http://www.sogeshirts.com and tell us what shirt is your favorite. Post it on our facebook fan page (2 entries)

5. Post a blog about us. Can be really short about why you love our tshirts. If you link to us by using this anchor text : funny t shirts It's real easy just type in funny t shirts and highlight funny t shirts and then hit insert link. Link to http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/3606686 and that is it.

Scavenger hunt entries! Now some fun ways to enter

1. Find a blog post about Soge Shirts that is not from sogeshirts.com or sogeshirts.blogspot.com and send us the link at info@sogeshirts.com (hint: google is your friend) 1 entry

2. Why do vampires always get the girl and zombies never do? Find the answer on http://www.sogeshirts.blogspot.com. Hint the blog post is from 2008 so find the blog archive located down a bit on the right side bar. You can copy and paste the whole blog post with the answer to us at info@sogeshirts.com 1 entry

3. Do you have a zazzle account? If not you can register at zazzle.com within a minute or so and comment on one of our funny t shirt designs at http://www.zazzle.com/sogeshirts (1 entry for one comment, two entries for two comments)

4. What physical place did the idea for Soge Shirts start at? (hint it's on our website somewhere.) 1 entry

Remember for every entry that you participate in to let us know by commenting on this blog post so we can keep track! Good luck and have fun.

Basic human needs: Unlimited Power

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:51:00 +0000

I'm a simple man. I don't need a lot of things to make me happy. Most of the time warm delicious food and a roof over my head is all I need. Every now and then some alcoholic beverages do the trick as well. However sometimes my ego gets the best of me and wants more, a lot more! Unlimited Power. The Power to do as I please when I want, where I want, and with who I want. No bosses to answer to, no bills to worry about, and a stress free life. In the old days two kids, a dog, and a picket fence were the American dream. Not good enough I say. Get greedy and go after Unlimited Power. Even if you fall short and you get limited power you are going to be feeling pretty good. It's time to rise up and not be happy with the status quo with this funny text t-shirt below called "I Just Want Unlimited Power."

Who needs this shirt? People fed up with current events, the economy, heatwaves, the Jonas Brothers (or at least two out of three)etc. Also if you have a sense of humor you are going to love this funny joke t shirt as laughing really is the best medicine (next to NyQuil of course.) This shirt is going to be an attention grabber and people will stop to read it. Just make sure not to wear it during the Tour De France or a cyclist may stop to read your shirt and cause a crash.

What's not to like about this shirt? Nothing. It has all the necessities of life all in one shirt. You have food, shelter, and unlimited power. It's like the Swiss army knife of shirts. Your Soge army knife of shirts starts for as low as $11.99 so come on down and get your Unlimited Power t-shirt today. Once you have this shirt all those goals you have set forth will be as easy as pie. You'll just look down at your shirt and start attacking the goals like ninjas on steroids. Now if you are unable to get Unlimited Power which you shouldn't at least you will see that you have warm food and a roof over your head. So this hilarious witty tee shirt is both inspiring and makes you humble. Double win.

Zazzle artist award for Where Rainbows Come From

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 03:27:00 +0000

Good news to report everyone. Our best selling t shirt Where Rainbows Come From was given a huge honor by the good folks over at Zazzle. It won a Zazzle artist award and was chosen as one of the best shirts out there from the billions of designs submitted on Zazzle. As a reward it is getting featured in the Offensive shirts section. This is the reason we fed that Unicorn all those beans and fried food as we knew it would pay off in beauty that everyone could enjoy.

You can check out Where Rainbows Come From on Zazzle by clicking on funny t shirts Also make sure to check out the rest of our funny tees at Zazzle. Once again we want to thank Zazzle for the wonderful honor.

And the winner is...

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Sat, 22 May 2010 17:33:00 +0000

Just wanted to thank everyone so much for entering our bananas gone wild t shirt giveaway. We had 63 entries and lucky number 23 was the winner. That turned out to be Lisa King or for those of you on twitter @lisanorfolk Once again thanks so much to all those who entered. Don't worry though if you didn't win this time. Our next free t shirt giveaway will be soon. This time a funny t shirt for men will be given away. Ladies can enter too though of course. We couldn't run these contests without the support of all you followers, readers, and fans on facebook. Thanks again from both Dave and Tim.

Win a free bananas gone wild t shirt for women!

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 06 May 2010 20:27:00 +0000

Hey guys its free tshirt time! Who doesn't want to win a free tshirt? That was a rhetorical question, so of course you want to win! This time Dave and I are giving away a free Bananas gone wild tshirt to one lucky winner. The shirt is for women but guys who want some bonus points for winning something for the special lady in their life can enter too. Also very soon we will be running a separate contest for the fellas to win a free shirt as well.

There are many ways to enter and you can get one entry for each of these:

1. Comment on this blog post and let us know what your favorite soge shirts tshirt is. Easy! (1 entry)

2. Join/Share our facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/sogeshirtsfunnytshirts?ref=ts with some friends. Doesn't matter how many people you share with, anything helps. (2 entries 1 for joining 1 for sharing)

3. Email your friends your favorite soge tshirt with an image attached while putting info@sogeshirts.com as a CC in the email. (1 entry)

4. tweet at us (http://twitter.com/sogeshirts or @sogeshirts) your favorite design with the hashtags #sogeshirts #contest 1 entry

5. Comment on our facebook fan page about this blog post telling us your favorite design. 1 entry

6. Sign up for our mailing list on our facebook fan page. (1 entry)

Contest rules:

You do all of those and you have seven entries to win a bananas gone wild t shirt! If we get lots of entries we might give away more than one! So get your entries in. You must be 18 or older to enter! The contest will run two weeks starting today. Please post what you have done on this blog post so we can count all your entries! The contest will run for two weeks and end May 21st! The winner will be picked at random using a random number generator from random.org Good luck and get those entries in!

Ronald McDonald to Retire? Don't McBet on it.

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:53:00 +0000

In Chicago it was announced today that Corporate Accountability International held a protest on Wednesday March 31st at a Chicago McDonalds demanding that Ronald McDonald retire. They say he has too much influence over kids eating habits. Luckily for me I was able to catch up with Ronald McDonald this morning via Skype.

Tim: Ronald with this new group calling for you to hang up your big red McShoes will you retire?

RMD: This is outrageous Tim. Honestly have you seen me in commercials lately? I mean come on, get out of town! If you were going to blame me in the 80's or 90's fine, I was on TV more than Justin Bieber, but now?

Tim: Do you really feel that you influence kids to eat at McDonalds?

RMD: Ridiculous once again. When little fat Suzie or little pudgy Johnny beg mom and dad for a happy meal, Mom and Dad need to say No. Tell little Suzie or Johnny that if they keep eating happy meals they are going to get insulin shots as a toy for their diabetes.

Tim: So you aren't to blame not even a tiny bit?

RMD: No Tim, not one bit. I don't pull a gun on people to tell them to eat at McDonalds. I'm a Mcfamilyman. I settled down with Birdie the Bird and we have a few McNuggets of our own. I never let them eat McDonalds. Did you know that I once got pulled over by the cops for no reason? They tried to say I had an ounce of marijuana on me, but they couldn't find shit. It was DWC.

Tim: DWC?

RMD:DWC Driving While Clown, look it up. It's all a setup. Luckily for me I don't have one of those clown squirting flowers on me. I know Bozo once got arrested for assault when he was pulled over and the cop touched his flower. Boom! Water sprayed in the officers face and Bozo got 7 years.

Tim: How does it make you feel that nobody is protesting Jack from Jack in the Box or The King from Burger King?

RMD: I feel rage. Those dicks are the scumbags and criminals of the fast food world. Don't let Jack's suit and tie fool you. He has been embezzling money from Jack in the Box for years. Might as well change the name of the restaurant to Enron in the box. As for the Burger King he just broke into a McDonalds and stole the Mcmuffin recipe. Not to mention all the beds he breaks into and climbs in. One time I woke up with the King and the next day he woke up to a restraining order.

Tim: What is next for you Ronald?

RMD: Well Birdie and I are going to take a cruise to the Bahamas with Mayor McCheese and his wife Grimace till this all blows over.

Tim: Wait Grimace is a woman? I always thought he was a man.

RMD: No, she is a woman. That is why her name is Grimace. When you find out she is a woman, you grimace.

Tim: Ah makes sense. Last question Ronald. What would you like to say directly to Corporate Accountability International?

RMD: Well I'd tell them that they need to start believing in magic and that they should order a happy meal from McDonalds. Lord knows they need the fun and nutrition a McDonalds meal provides.

Tim: There you have it. Thanks for that Ronald. Now I'm hungry and not loving it.

Farmville: The Video Game!

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 18:23:00 +0000

I have never myself played Farmville but as I understand it the game does not have an end. As a former recovering gamer who used to waste countless hours playing video games I cannot fathom playing a game that does not end. Today on the Soge Shirts blog I'm going to free all Facebook users once and for all as my protagonist Farmville Franny will attempt to beat the game Farmville.

As the game starts Farmville Franny is looking for the magical rake of justice that will finally bring rain to her dry farmland so her crops will grow. She know she must defeat a multitude of farm evil. Here are the villains she must defeat and each villains strengths and weaknesses.

Golden Chicken Little- Golden Chicken little is exactly like regular chicken little quite scared and frightened. He is by far the easiest of the Farmville enemies. All Franny must do is press the A button for threat and Golden Chicken little will give her a golden egg and run like the sky is falling. This golden egg can be used later.

Captain Moodur- Captain Moodur is a much more difficult opponent for Franny. He is a murderous cow and is directly responsible for the Chick Fil A eat more chiken cows who are his henchmen. His moves that Franny must avoid are the uddercut which is where he uses his udders to uppercut Franny. His most dangerous move is unpasteurized milk in which he shoots organic milk into your mouth. To defeat Captain Moodur Franny must find the mighty Mcdonalds meat packing plant.

The Skinless Potato- This level three bad guy is a potato with no skin and this is very angry. They say he may be Mr. Potato heads less famous older brother and thus became insane due to all the attention his plastic surgery loving brother was getting. The Skinless potato's moves that Franny must avoid are the spud scud in which the skinless potato peels a piece of himself with a knife and launches it at Farmville Franny's head and the tater crater. The Tater crater has never been used before but rumors are that the skinless potato has no genitals and that the crater involves something with his lack of genitals. Needless to say Farmville Franny must avoid this at all costs.

The Bowl Weevil- The bowl weevil is a pest that destroys crops but the one crop he never destroys is Marijuana. Most of the time the bowl weevil is too lazy to even attempt to get off its magic couch to destroy crops. It spends most of its days trying to turn the skinless potato into potato chips to cure its munchies. The bowl weevils main threat to Franny is that he will attempt to befriend her and get her to take a hit with him. If Franny can't resist his very persuasive phrase "just one quick one, just one" she may never get find the magical rake of justice or get employed by a home depot.

Farmville Users- The second to last villain in the game is Farmville users. Farmville users never want the game to end and will keep recruiting you to join Farmville like you were joining the skull and bones society at yale or a very charismatic cult. They will try to bribe Franny with Farmville gifts such as coins, chickens, cats, and even rats if that is what you are into. Anything to get Facebook users into their Farmville fam. For Franny to defeat them she must delete many of her Facebook friends and avoid adding new Facebook friends.

Colonel Kernel- Colonel Kernel is a well decorated piece of corn that has served in the Farmville army for many years. Recently he became elected as the head dictator of Farmville. He is the last boss in the game and only smashing his head with the golden egg can defeat him. His main weapons are his patented "oh no its stuck in my teeth" attack where he annoys you into submission by getting his corn stuck into your teeth. He also can change forms into ethanol which is usually quite ineffective. Once Franny defeats the Colonel she must shuck him to receive the magical rake of justice.

Good luck Franny in defeating Farmville. No one has done it yet but may you become a legend!

Cuddle party rap

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:22:00 +0000

In Sweden people are getting together to have cuddle parties in which people get together to touch each other in a non sexual way. I'm sure its only a matter of time before Swedish rappers begin to brag about their cuddling conquests so I decided I would beat them to the punch. My rap name will be Vanilla Nice and this rap is entitled "I'm gonna cuddle you."

I take command like a quarterback in the huddle
Girl you know I won't be subtle
cause girl we about to cuddle
I'm gonna cuddle you.

Like a pack of sleeping puppies curling up to their mom
My non sexual prowess goes to the break of dawn
so make sure to put your sweatpants and sweatshirt on
I'm gonna cuddle you

Chorus:
Girl I just want to hug and lightly touch
I hope its not too much.
These fuzzy feelings I need not force
There won't be intercourse.

Columbus may have sailed the ocean blue
Thomas Jefferson told us what to do
George Clooney may have made love to you
but girl he never got to cuddle you.

When you need your cuddle fix like that
hit me up on that yahoo chat
I'll be your warm personal teddy bear
So bring over a blanket to share

Chorus:
Girl I just want to hug and lightly touch
I hope its not too much.
These fuzzy feelings I need not force
There won't be intercourse.

Where Rainbows Come From featured on I Am the Trend TV Tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:43:00 +0000

Hey guys exciting news today. Our shirt Where Rainbows Come From seen above is going to be reviewed by the Tshirt and music review guys from I Am The Trend Television.

We need as many Soge supporters as we can get tonight at 9 pm eastern 6 pm pst over at http://www.justin.tv/staticontv so come check out I am the Trend TV tonight at 9 pm eastern. If you register at justin.tv for free you can even chat in the chat room and root us on. We may get some haters because I am the Trend usually reviews graphic tshirts instead of funny t shirts so any support you can throw our way will be much appreciated. Dave and I hope you can make it.

13 reasons Vampire Sex is dangerous

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:58:00 +0000

Ladies boinking the undead has returned to popularity in the last few years with the twilight saga, True blood,and Vampire Chronicles. Apparently pasty is tasty as our discolored friends our getting more things sucked as opposed to sucking blood. Here are thirteen reasons you may want to reconsider having sex with a vampire.

1. When having sex with a vampire you always need the male to wear a garlic condom for protection.

2. Herpes and Vampires have a lot in common, they're immortal and just won't go away so be careful.

3. Vampires sneak out during the night even more than regular guys do.

4. Vampires bites necks for their pleasure not yours.

5. Since vampires never die they are likely to have racked up a large amount of sexual partners and you know they love to talk about their history.

6. Vampires will steal your makeup and lipstick.

Photo by by Red Monkey Virus licensed by http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

7. Instead of being deadbeat dads vampires are deaddead dads.

8. Vampires suck in bed.

9. Once you go bat you always get fat, or dead.

10. Some vampires trick you into having sex with them even though they are actually women. They don't call it Transylvania for nothing.

11. If you go back to his place Castles are not all they are cracked up to be. Good luck finding toilet paper.

12. After sex you have to spoon hanging upside down.

13. Once you get dumped werewolves sneak in as the rebound guy.

We need your vote, cause Once Again, We love our fans more and more

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:11:00 +0000

One of our awesome fans has somehow liked our tee shirt designs, and given us a great chance to earn some props! We're up for best top 10 designs of 2009 from a zazzle shop. Where Rainbows Come From, I'm not sure where they're created but I've got a gaseous feeling it's somewhere special. Like from a Unicorn!

HELP us out by casting your vote for the Top 10 Funniest Zazzle Designs of 2009, that's a big year.

Much Luv,

Soge Shirts

VOTE HERE Top 10 Funniest Zazzle Designs of 2009

http://www.squidoo.com/make-me-laugh-top-10-funniest-designs-of-2009/71569971-where-rainbows-come-from

If you like the shirt, and want to get free shipping on our zazzle store, use this code today only! FREESHIP2DAY

Rob from T-Shirt Strategy interviews David Cree from Soge shirts

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:08:00 +0000

Hey everyone Tim from Soge shirts here. Exciting news our friend Rob from the ladies clothing line Lady Umbrella interviewed my partner in crime David Cree about the Funny Tees he designs, our philosophy on pricing, plans for the future and more. If you think this is going to be a boring interview think again. Here is a short snippet in which David discusses how he came up with the idea for the "Every time you Eat meat a hippie drops a happy sack shirt"

Rob - Every time you eat meat a hippie drops a hacky sack - I laughed when I saw this. You happen to be at a bbq and witness said event or are you the hapless hacky sack hippie?

David - I used to live out of my car for a few months, and carried multiple hacky sacks around to all the people's places I crashed at. Met many different people, and a few were hippies. Great, wonderful, amazing people, not because they associated with the hippie group, but of who they are. We talked long and hard about the circle of life, and how you have to keep the hacky sack going to everyone to complete the circle. When it dropped we joked about people dying, or trees falling every time someone drops the hacky sack.

Catch the rest of the interview over at T-Shirt Strategy: Soge Shirts Interview

Facebook suggestions quiz

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Facebook has always been known as a bit intrusive. You can find people's emails, phone numbers, scantily clad pictures, or even status updates that bash the boss of the company. Lately Facebook has decided to take creepy to new heights with their personal suggestions urging me to make facebook better for one of my facebook friends by either sending them a message or writing on their wall. Here is a fun little quiz with some possible facebook suggestions. The correct answer worth 4 points is the creepiest or most messed up answer with the second creepiest/messed up answer being three points.

1. Facebook Suggestion: Your facebook friend Kevin has just been laid off by his job. Please make Kevin feel better by...

A. Writing him a nice uplifting message
B. Giving him some Farmville land to help him back on his feet
C. Write on his wall that he should "enjoy the food stamps"
D. Threaten him that he better return your superpokes cause bro you
have free time.

2. Facebook suggestion: Your facebook friend Tina just got engaged after two weeks of dating. Congratulate her by ....

A. Register for her wedding by giving her a Lil Green Patch cactus plant
B. Calling her on her facebook posted phone number to congratulate her
C. Congratulate her on the obvious pregnancy via her wall which causes
her mom to delete her as a facebook friend.
D. Create a facebook group planning her bachelorette party

3. Facebook suggestion: Your significant other Charlie (male or female) just posted a status message stating that "I should have looked what was in my burrito." Help him/her by...

A. Create the fan page bathroom follies and post their picture
B. Send them a Pepto Bismol using virtual pharmacy
C. Send them a link for baby wipes
D. Change your relationship status to single

4. Facebook suggestion: Lacey is bored and wants something to do. Tell her something to do...

A. Waste hours trying to have a conversation on facebook chat
B. Facebook please stop trying to control me. You are a social media network and I find it really creepy that you know who on my friends list that I have or haven't interacted with much. I may have to file a restraining order using the fuck off and die application.
C. Tell her to go watch some shitty vampire show on tv
D. Recruit her to your mafia in mafia wars.

Now for the answers listed in the order of most creepy. 4 points for creepiest 1 for least etc.

1. D,C,B,A
2. C,B,D,A
3. A,D,C,B
4. B,A,C,D

If you scored 13-16 points Congrats you are creepy enough to work for Facebook
9-12 points I bet you wear capes and bow ties
5-8 points Someday you'll earn your trenchcoat and binoculars
1-4 points Aww you are too nice and often boring

High Quality Cheap Tshirts For A Low Quality Economy

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:28:00 +0000

These days nothing seems to come cheap even in a bad economy.
Funny t-shirts especially just seem to be severely overpriced.
You can find some

Funny Cheap tshirts under 15 bucks it is extremely rare.

Many moons ago people associated price with quality.
When you thought of a cheap tshirt, it usually meant that the t-shirt lacked style, was made of poor quality, or it was on sale for some strange reason.

High priced equals quality in the minds of many people. There are however, many high priced pieces of clothing that are marked higher, to give it a psychologically distorted value. This is accomplished by the idea "You get what you pay for." Assuming a greater price the quality will be greater. It’s time to change that assumption. Shirts that are low in price can be extremely high in quality. At Soge Shirts we strive to provide shirts of a low cost value, without sacrificing quality. The special little touches that our artists put into their tshirt designs, gives the t-shirt a better look, feel, and value. For the work involved we price our shirts as low as possible so our customers can enjoy great clothing. Who couldn't use some cool threads to shock some loud neighbors, or crack a joke during happy hour? Our cheap funny tshirts are crafted to put a smile on the faces of men, women, and children alike.

We proudly offer Cheap funny tees starting at $11.99 and many of our cute boys and girls t-shirts are $11.99 dollars as well. This means you get very cool clothing for your whole family at low prices. For example you can get cute shirts for kids like our

Supaw Pawers Tees for boys and girls starting at $11.99.

If you think your kid has a sense of humor, try our funny tees for kids.

Our hot tees for women

retails as low as $17.99, much less than then industry average. Besides being a great fit, these tees for women are cute, hot, and sexy. Why pay $40 dollars on women's tee shirts at a department store when you can get a sassy t-shirt of department store quality online for $17.99? In today's economy, purchasing a high valued product at a price you can afford is a must.

humor tees in July

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:58:00 +0000

It's july which means beaches, barbecues, and two more months to football because lets face it baseball sucks. It also means we have some new great humor tees and some fantastic graphic t-shirts for this month.

Our first new design is Love Conquers all. It features a giant sacred heart burning with love being worshiped by three tiny hearts. If you believe in love and humanity you should put this on your must get list. It's probably more of a shirt for the ladies but if you're a guy and want to get one that is fantastic. This is a great cute t-shirt design for girls with each bowing heart serving as a reminder that love conquers all. If the Aztecs would have remembered that they would have whipped Cortez's butt.

If you hate little heart people bowing at the feet of the great sacred heart we also offer the design with just the great sacred heart. This is because we like all of our customers except for Frank. If your name is Frank and are reading this I'm referring to a different Frank. Anyways wear this t-shirt at the mall and you'll get a bunch of that is so cute comments or that is so precious. Either way you'll get positive attention.

Our next shirt in our line of great graphic tees is Every Time You Eat Meat A Hippie Drops A Hacky Sack. This shirt is pretty literal. Every time you eat meat a hippie loses his concentration and lets the hacky sack drop to the ground. Meat is cryptonite to a hippie and especially affects their foot skills. Veal is the greatest offender to hippies as anytime veal is eaten not only do they whiff kicking the hacky sack they also punch themselves in the face. I don't really have anything against hippies as they have some pretty noble ideas with exception to their inability to shower or wear deodeorant.

Wear this cheap graphic tee to a barbecues as their is sure to be many a meat eater that will give you a high five. Do not wear this shirt at a PETA conference or at a whole foods market. Although your shirt will have meat on it only real meat will stop their legs from working. You will get kicked by strong hacky sack playing hippie legs a lot if you wear this t-shirt in their presence.

Next in our awesome humor t-shirts for July we have the need to get laid equation. The concept of this shirt is not too hard to figure out. Unless you are a physicist or in aeronautics solving quadratic equations all day is pretty pointless and is definitely not going to impress the members of the opposite sex. In these times a facebook account and attending college is all it takes to hook up. Leave all the einstein stuff to the chess team or Matt Damon/ Russell Crow from the movies. Yes I know Matt Damon and Russell Crow got laid in their movies by being math geniuses but they were Matt Damon and Russel Crow. Jaime Escalante got no loving even will all the inner city kids he taught. Wear this shirt at funny college t-shirt in the dorms and you'll get loving in no time unless you're a jerk. Don't wear it in your engineering class or else you may have pi shoved in your face.

Finally we have our new t-shirt design on zazzle My bologna has a first name but no social security number. This funny graphic t-shirt is a reminder that you better get a background check on a piece of bologna if you are going to hire it. It only has a first name, no social security number, and that green card looks like they took some monopoly money and had it laminated. Darn that clever bologna. Bologna is so sketchy that sometimes it tries to go to subway and pass itself off as salami. Wear this shirt everywhere! Bologna has lost popularity in recent years and it needs to make a comeback.

Stop it celebrities

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:24:00 +0000

All the recent news of celebrity deaths is bumming me out. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, Micheal Jackson, Billy Mays, and then Steve McNair. I'm sure I left one out. That stupid show celebrity death match came true and I'm not amused at the carnage it left. It's important to realize that all human life is important and that anyone who has died deserves to be remembered. In a sense it is sad that TMZ feels the need to report that Michael Jackson had a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of carrots on Dec 14th, 1989. The adoration and attention that mega celebrities get while they live is even worse than they die. All their skeletons and secrets come out. We know exactly how much Michael Jackson is in debt, that Steve McNair rented a condo with his friend, and that Billy Mays was hired to sell lint. The last part was made up, but still we all know too much.

With Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Steve McNair passing at such young ages kids are going to start having mid life crises at 12. At least most of them won't have to worry about losing the Xbox in a break up with the little neighbor girl down the street. They say that death comes in threes, well so do the Jonas Brothers. Coincidence I say not. Anyways death, taxes, and Disney producing teen musical acts with no talent are three things that will likely never change as long as their is humanity on earth. R.I.P. to all celebrities and non celebrities alike. I hope you will all be remembered.

Fresh Broccoli is just as Nasty as Frozen Broccoli Tee Shirts

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:01:00 +0000

Vegetables, much like a natural cotton silly tshirt, is better organic and fresh. In my estimation, the previous statement is 100% true with the
exception of broccoli. Dump enough butter or ranch to clog your arteries and broccoli will still taste nasty, whether it is fresh or frozen. I don't know what is is about broccoli that gives it that crisp, sour, cardboard taste, but I believe the green afro it hoists on top of its stem has something to do with it. Never eating anything with a green afro, is a lesson I learned from cannibals in the Peruvian jungle. Maybe it's irony that broccoli tastes so bad, yet is so nutritious, you need to eat it. C'mon science, make broccoli taste like pizza. Or at least make broccoli give me super powers so i can dawn a funny graphic tee, and fight crime in my jeans.

There are so many places you can wear this cheap funny t-shirt.

1. Wear it at a whole foods market to confuse people. You are shopping
at a healthy organic market, or vegetable covered street corner poker table,
and you're wearing a graphic tee shirt with
Fresh Broccoli is Just as Nasty as Frozen Broccoli.
You might get kicked out or vegan's might scream at you for spreading rumors about their favorite dessert.
Reply with "If it tasted like chicken instead of a small bonsai tree, it'd eat it"
But you've got a funny graphic tee, that warns flavor lovers of an impending disaster.

2. Wear it at football and baseball games. In an environment
where fried food, hot dogs, and beer reign supreme,
you wont find broccoli concession stands.
America pastimes don't include eating bushy little green microphones of yuck.

3. I don't need to come up with a third place since the hilarious tee
shirt is just that good.

Back in the sixties/seventies it was all about sex drugs and rock n roll. Since then we've all gotten a little older and a little wiser and a new era has dawned of No sex, Rx Drugs, Rock and Roll Out of Bed Tees, has taken over the youth. Now don't get depressed ask for more meds, the good news is there is more partying to be done.

Take a big step in your life and get this hilarious bad offensive t-shirt and let others know that you have a kick ass and take names, sense of humor. (or a kick names and take ass kind of humor, .. however the saying goes.)

Try to party the greatest way possible ... responsibly. Responsibly partying isn't waking up next day 150 miles southwest of your job, 1 hour before work starts probably wont get you on your boss's "due for a raise" list.
This type of partying usually involves presents, 100% juice and a blended variety of pinata hitting, and pin the tail on the donkey.

Spend time with your kids. Teach them the responsible ways to party, before it's too late. You would hate to tell them about your past and how you blacked out.. not wearing your crazy hilarious tshirt, or pants, in the middle of a football stadium parking lot. Remember, teach your children that abstaining from sex, using prescription drugs, and forcing yourself to get up in the morning may not make you the life of the party, but it will lead to more productivity which is a good and responsible thing. Plus you'll be able to amaze stranger with stories of your party days. Don't worry now that you are non Rx drug free, you'll be able to remember them.

Jon and Kate= ratings!

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Thu, 28 May 2009 20:53:00 +0000

Usually I don't give two craps about pop culture maybe one and a half
at best but Jon and Kate Gosselin are driving me insane. There is no
escape from them or their innocent eight. First Jon is allegedly
cheating on Kate with a "teacher friend" at a bar and then Kate is
rumored to be spending adult time with a bodyguard. Since when do you
even time to have affairs with other people when you have eight kids?
How do you even get out of the house? I don't think the I'm going to
the market to pick up milk excuse is going to fly when you are gone
the whole night. I almost wonder if the whole affair mess is a charade
by Jon and Kate to get more ratings for their TV show. They could be
secretly be sipping wine in bubble baths together while they count
their new millions the publicity of their affairs are getting. If I'm
right here are some other Jon and Kate storylines you may see this
season.

1. Jon decides to leave Kate to go to Iraq. He decides to take Joel
with him for some daddy fighty time but Kate reminds him that Joel
can't go on the flight since Jon didn't use a coupon to book the
flight.

2. Kate decides that one of the eight must be put up for adoption. She
lets America vote one of the eight off American Idol style. Ryan
Seacrest is brought in to console the loser.

3. Jon gets romantically linked to one of the married cast members on
The Hills. Kate declares Jon to be a professional marriage destroyer.
Ratings surge.

4. Kate appears on the next celebrity apprentice. She makes Omarosa
and Joan Rivers cry.

5. All eight kids divorce their parents and get the rights to all the
money their parents have made off of them.

Tim from Soge Shirts

New t-shirts for May

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 20 May 2009 22:03:00 +0000

Rainbows come from a magical place, not science and everyone knows
that. Since rainbows are magical it only makes sense that they come
from a magical mythical creature such as the unicorn. Despite the
unicorns beauty and magical qualities a unicorn can not create a
rainbow out of nothing. It releases the rainbow out of a bodily
function known to them as passing beauty and known to us as passing
gas or farting. Everyone has bodily functions, just unicorns are
better at producing 7 different beautiful colors out of their toots.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6647724

Our next shirt is genuis/genius.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6629880

Yes they are two different shirts. By wearing one you are saying to the
world I am a brilliant mind and am proud enough to tell everyone about
it. I like sudoku, crossword puzzles, and enjoy mensa meeting
biweekly. By wearing the other shirt you are saying I like to wear
funny and ironic t-shirts and intelligent people will get the joke.
I'll let you decide which shirt is which since I assume everyone
reading out there are geniuses.

Our last great graphic t-shirt is available at
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6713797
Welcome to fantasy Island! This shirt beats the pants off the tv show get it? The dancing red on the shirt indicates a playful nature of things to come. Any
fantasy that you can imagine that is rated pg 13 in nature can be
achieved as a result of buying this t-shirt. We can't be responsible
for all you moms leaving your hubbys for Brad Pitt or George Clooney.
The other great benefit to the shirt is you are automatically much
more friendly than a walmart greeter. They can only welcome people to
walmart while you welcome them to an island of fantasy. What is better
an adventure of a lifetime or twenty cents off of Scott paper towels?

Tim

Omg Crack Yay Mens Funny T-Shirts on Sale $12.99

noreply@blogger.com (Soge shirts) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Omg Crack Yay Mens Funny T-Shirts on Sale $12.99

Guys be ironic by wearing this hilarious OMG Crack Yay t-shirt for Men from Soge Shirts.

Step over the line of regular fun shirts, and into a
skinny, wire haired, laugh out loud joke habit.

Its a tiny cartoon girl
cheering for crack omg! Its crack woo hoo ...

Originally this shirt
sells for $22.99 on our website, but for $10 bucks less, it's only $12.99

We did the math for you, cause we know you like to save.

We all get excited for different reasons, so here's a
funny offensive
joke t-shirt about drugs,

OMG how crude. Who doesn't want a girl who
gets excited about crack.

Whether that's the crack of the moon light, the crack that kills, or
the crack of the behind.
Any woman can appreciate a man who appreciates
her excitement.

It doesn't hurt to have a sense of humor, either. We do not condone

jumping up in the air for crack, however you are free to do as you
please.

Buy this funny tshirt and people will laugh with you because they get

the joke that crack really isn't cool. Of course I'm sure there are

some crack heads you know, you room with, or walked by, that probably

won't get the joke and ask if you have any crack.

You only have a
really funny graphic t-shirt, a smile on your face, and excitement in

your heart. Plus $10 in your pocket to hand out to help any girls you

see, getting excited about the bad crack.

T-shirt for Men.

5000

Gildan

Gildan® 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Descriptions

* 5.4-ounce 100% cotton

* Seamless double needle collar

* Taped neck and shoulders

* Double needle sleeve and bottom hems Finished Garment Measurements

Sizes S M L XL

Here are what people are saying about this crazy offensive t shirt.

From Sassy Irish Lassie: thursday thirteen - it's been this kind of week Blog

TexasRed said... Love this shirt! We definitely all need a little rebellion now and then!
April 17, 2009 10:22 AM

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said... I would absolutely wear that shirt! Love it!
April 17, 2009 12:55 PM

Ann said... OMG!
I love it :->

April 17, 2009 6:02 PM

Buy this shirt if... you are a hip college kid that knows how to bring the irony

Grab this joke T if you're an adult that wants to shake things up and
show society

... they can't put you in a box

Hold onto this Tee Shirt if you cheer for crack. Sometimes being literal works,

and you can always use it as a calling card to some excitement.

More Funny Graphic T-shirts from Soge Shirts