some become strangers

because I've got no life

2010-07-15T17:38:00.003-05:00

I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but I’m cursed, so never mind
And it’s worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger

I just got home from California on Monday, and I am sick. Like, really sick.
I need to do my summer homework.
I need to make sure they still have the June archives for the editorial section of the Times Picayune on the computer.
Mostly, I need to stop being a little baby.

I guess I'm the way I am right now because I finally realised how close I am to finishing school. I know two years is still a long time, but that time will go by fast. I have so many things I need to do and I'm scared I won't be able to do them. I'm scared that everything will just pile up on top of me and leave me stuck in the middle of everything. I am worried that I won't have any time to be happy this year, or next year. I don't know. I just worry too much.

Also, I feel like a hypocrite. I hate people that get brand new cars for their first car. Now my mom and dad are talking about getting me a brand new car. I guess the difference that I can defend myself with is that I still am going to be making payments for it. Anyway. My mom asked me today if I really wanted to drive and I didn't tell her what I should have. I don't want to. I thought I did, but it's too scary. I just see it as another sign of the fact that I have to start actually growing up, and I don't know. I really don't know.

I dyed my hair but missed a bunch of the under layers. Oh well. My mom keeps talking about it and it's not like she helped, so if she wants to fix it she can get somebody to fix it because I'm not messing up my hair again, and I'm not letting her mess it up either because she knows less about hair coloring than I do.

I am just glad that I am a little bit happier than I was. Even though it's not by much.

2010-07-03T16:22:00.002-05:00

I have been feeling sick, but I guess that's because I haven't been eating much or getting any sun. I thought about getting a tan this summer, but I've gotten more pale. Oh well.

I am going on vacation.

I've watched documentaries on Florida, an after-school art program in the Bronx, Michael Jackson's trials back in 2005, McDonalds, Coca-Cola, a guy from Alabama that is a Jihadi or whatever, and one about Canada. There was also this thing about this photographer named Agnes something from Sete, France.

I haven't spoken to my best friend in almost a month.

My brother has duty the day we were going to the zoo. Now we might not go. We might just see him.

I feel hungry. I feel tired. I feel weak. I feel bored. I feel lonely.

I need to wash my hands because I was coughing into them a minute ago.

I am almost packed. I don't know. I'm waiting for my parents to get home so we can go to dinner. I need to straighten my hair

I think I grew a little, but nobody knows. I don't know. I lay down too much and don't stand up long enough to check.

I probably sound so depressed. I'm not. I'm just bored. This is why I don't like summer. This is why I hope I get a job.

2010-06-29T02:17:00.003-05:00

Sorry I've kind of abandoned you. I promise that it wasn't intentional, but I've been kind of busy with life.
School ended twenty days ago. This is my final standing:

Geometry Honors - 90 A
Acting - 100 A
P-IB World Literature - 94 A
P-IB French 2 - 88 B
Algebra 2 Honors - 83 B
P-IB Chemistry - 77 C
AP European History - 80 B

I am really disappointed with my Chemistry grade, but there is always hope that I will do better in Biology this year. I was also mad about my French and Algebra grades, but they are pretty much representative of how hard I didn't try in those classes. I am really happy about the Euro grade, but I am nervous about seeing my score on the exam. I need to find my number thing, just in case.

Overall, it was a good year. I'm really looking forward to this coming year, though. I'm going to be a junior which means I need to REALLY get serious colleges. I get to fill out my FAFSA, which I have been stoked to do. The more aid I can get, the better. Which is why my heart is set on Yale. My dad would only have to pay MAYBE ten thousand a year for me, and I'd only have to pay two thousand five hundred. Plus, the campus pays 11.30 an hour, which is pretty much bank here, but I don't know what that's like in Connecticut. I also wouldn't mind being in California, especially if my brother is still there. We find out soon.

About my brother: I haven't talked to him really. He's doing well. He's the smartest person there, which really makes me happy. He's been making 100s on everything, which is a total aboutface for him. They found a guy shooting up heroin, so that is the main thing going on there. He graduates on the 5th of August, so we'll see what happens. I can't wait to see him in a few weeks D:

My other brother... He's not getting to work as much thanks to the oil spill. I feel bad for everybody involved in that, but I want everybody to shut up. Florida beaches are clean, so come dirty them with your beer cans and cigarette butts like you always do.

Me? I'm going to PacSun today to turn in an application. I'm REALLY happy because my mom was kind of waffling about the whole me getting a job thing since school is going to be crazy, but I can handle it. My chem teacher hasn't asked me the pick three question yet, but these are mine: school, job, and nothing. That's because I don't have to worry about sports or boys, plus the other fifth one that I can't remember :/ I'm just going to have to study really hard, because some of my classes are crazy. I'm going to buy SAT prep stuff and take the prep course they offer for like 80 dollars. Hopefully I'll be babysitting some of my dad's co-worker's kids. I guess I could call them family friends. I got two of them to let me use them as references, which makes me really happy.

So far, 2010 has been a pretty crazy year, but I'm loving it. Let's just hope the second half goes well.

2010-05-13T18:08:00.002-05:00

Am I supposed to listen to you complain and pretend that I give a damn? Because that is how I feel. You constantly whine about everything, saying that life sucks and all of these other pessimistic things. You complain about your girlfriend, and how stupid and jealous she is and blah blah blah. As much as I dislike the way she is always upsetting you, I think I'm starting to feel sorry for her. I wonder what you're like on the phone with her. Mostly though, you jsut go back and forth about some stupid meth head. You try to act like he isn't one, but then you tell me the stupid things he says or how he always asks for money. I don't care if his dad is fucking dying. Everybody is dying. Fuck, I'm dying. You don't see me begging for money that you claim you don't have but always find a way to give to him.

Seriously, I promise. If the first and only things you talk about on the phone next time are how much one of the two people suck, I am just going to hang up. I really don't need you if that's all that you're going to do. I love you, but I know that I can live without you. I broke up with the only person I've ever been IN love with because I wanted to be closer to you. What a joke. You're so weak. I don't care if this upsets you. I don't care if you don't talk to me for days. Stop trying to act like you're so in love with me because you're not, and I'm done feeling like a joke. I don't even know when the last time I got to complain about something that you didn't connect back to you was.

2010-05-09T19:15:00.001-05:00

It's Mother's Day. I bought my mother Selena, 27 Dresses, and the Lady Antebellum CD. She liked all of it, of course, and we watched Selena. It is one of our favorite movies, and it always will be. We know most of it by heart, but every time they get to where she died, I feel so sad. I wish that I had been around and older when she was alive and a big star. I wish I had gotten to see her sing. She was so beautiful.

Anyway. About my mother. She is not always the best, but she knows that. We have had a very difficult relationship over the past few years, but she is currently my best friend. I am forever thankful for her, even if sometimes it annoys me that she doesn't care about half of the things that I care about. I still know that she loves me and just wishes the best for me, though. And I am proud of her for being the woman she is, even if sometimes she is really wishy-washy and I wish that she could stand up for herself better.

I love you, mom.

we all want to be big stars, but we don't know how

2010-05-08T10:32:00.002-05:00

This week has been colorful, I think. Thursday was our last day before the AP European History exam. I forgot my stuff at home and my mom brought it, and it was weird. We watched a video on the fall of communism, ate starbursts and chips, and drank those little juices in the barrel looking things. Some of us went bowling after, and we were going to play against the juniors. About twenty of us showed up, and only four juniors. I got a spare my first time, but after that I sucked. Everybody cheered when I got the spare, though, and it made me really happy. I think a lot has changed sicne the beginning of the year, and these people have really warmed up to me. It makes me feel like I belong, even though I still am an outsider.

Sometimes when I wake up, I want to go back to sleep and not wake up again. Yesterday was kind of one of those days, because I wish that I could just put everything on hold. I woke up, watched television in my mom's room, and then went to Panera Bread or whatever. I met my classmates there, because we'd scheduled it before our test. It was fun, but I wish that we didn't have to take the test because I felt so nauseous, but we left after about an hour. We all followed each other, most of the other kids driving themselves. Whatever. I don't think I would have driven myself to that test, because I was feeling so weird.

When we all got there, we were told we had to wait outside. We had to be "invited" in. XD We had to show Mr. Dodson our ID tags if he didn't recognize us, and I laughed because I have bright red hair in mine. It looks so weird, seeing myself from just about eight months ago and looking so weird. We talked about the test, Ireland, spiders, Mr. Dodson's bike, and just so many things. We took a lot of pictures, and I can't wait to see them. Most people had on their shirts we made, but I didn't feel like wearing mine. Oh well.

The test was actually not that hard. I just kind of kept second guessing myself, and I think I failed the essays. I didn't "analyze" much. I just rambled because I was tired and it was almost four o'clock and I was supposed to be home already. But it was okay. When we finished, Ms. Gentry had creamcicles or whatever they're called, the orange popcicles with the cream in them. Then I went home, and my mom realized she had to take me to a play at seven for my grade.

Crispy, her boyfriend, this one couple, and this boy David were there. We got bored and ran across the road to get pizza. There was a drunk guy, and Levi pointed at him and we all thought we were going to get killed. We played the little pinball type thing with bouncy balls in it, and we wanted to keep playing it but then we left. We ate in front of the school, and it was a really weird time but it was great at the same time. Then my parents came and I had to go, and I wish that it didn't end.

This is Me: tenth grade

2010-05-05T15:42:00.002-05:00

I moved last summer, and it is probably the most devastating roller coaster ride I have ever been on. It's like this house has cursed us, and since we've moved everything has fallen apart. My brother joined the Marines in the middle of my ninth grade year, but it didn't become extremely hard until now. I miss him, and sometimes I wish that he had been dropped from basic training, even though I know it is a good thing for him overall in life.

I made some friends, but I am never trying to keep them. A lot of things goes on, and it really gets annoying. Everybody acts like they're better than everybody else, and that their little dramatic lives take precedence over everything else. One of the boys that claimed to like me told everybody that I don't eat. I used to eat right beside him, which is rather amusing. I've gained five pounds in the past year, and yet everybody acts like I don't eat. Whatever. High school is high school, and I'll be done soon.

I don't know what to say about this. I guess I am just a confused person lately. I don't know what I'm doing, what I want to do, or what I am capable of doing. I don't know where I'll go to school at, or what I will study. I don't know if I will take a year off or go to college right away. I just know that I can not wait until I do know, that way I can be done with this perpetual feeling of cluelessness.

This was Me: ninth grade

2010-05-04T17:28:00.002-05:00

I didn't know what it was that I was doing whenever I signed all of the paperwork for IB. I thought that it would be fun, because regular classes had since proven being too easy for me to concentrate. I met my teachers, memorized where my classes were, and even saw a couple of familiar faces. I became best friends with the slightly older brother of my old best friend. One thing I'm glad happened, that I didn't know would happen-- the girl that used to sit beside me in math class became my best friend. We're planning on trying to go to the same college. She can get in anywhere, but she doesn't have the funding, so I talked to her about Yale as a second option to local schools.

My teachers were great, minus my english teacher. She would yell and say that I didn't know anything, even though truthfully I just didn't care. I didn't pay attention during mythology, and the reason I never read the end of To Kill a Mockingbird was because I read so far ahead I forgot about it eventually and set it down. Oh well. It was the first class of the day, and even though I asked to sit up front, I sat in the back behind the large bookshelves and was hidden behind this boy Madison, who covered me when I was sleeping.

The teachers I loved most were my drama, math, and french teachers. My drama teacher and the class(and club) were my life last year. I tried to help whenever I could, and I spent a lot of my time painting flats. I went to the cast parties, helped with make up, gave people their props, and did all of the little jobs that they would let me help with. Whenever I was leaving, they gave me a purple monkey. I still keep it close to me, because it was the greatest thing that I got out of that year aside from my close friends.

Math was hell, because I didn't know what was going on. Eventually I passed with an A, and the teacher was my best friend. The time I went back to pick up Avalon from school, I went and made sure I saw her. I told her how I was doing great in my math classes, and how I was getting better at factoring. I will never forget her, because she pushed me to my limit and showed me how far I could go without completely losing it.

I started the year with a crazy french teacher, and ended with a lovely one. Both were great women who did well at teaching foreign languages. One was from Mississippi, the other from Normandy. It was sad when my first french teacher retired, but Mme. Reddin was from France and knew a great deal more than any American born teacher could teach you. We met her family, and even had a buffet of breakfast food.

The one thing I was not ready for last year was the worst thing I could ask for. My friend Emilie was probably one of the coolest people I have ever met, and she is the creator of the nickname "snowcone". She has two moms, knows how to apply great make up, and even survived cancer. We didn't know she would when she was diagnosed, even though the survival rate was 90%. No matter was reassurance you get, you will never be prepared to think about the idea of possibly losing your friend. I am glad she is still here. I hope she does great things with her life. She is my reason for not taking life for granted.

This was Me: eighth grade.

2010-05-04T17:11:00.003-05:00

My grades are falling. I don't really know why, but they are. That's OKAY, though. They probably won't right themselves fast enough, but I will know that I get what I deserve once the year is over. I am probably going to fail the AP exam, but maybe I won't. I can only do as well as I want to. Truly, I wish that I had been taught to care more about my grades. I remember when I was in middle school and my mom and dad would get mad if I had Bs, even though they were just joking. I know now that they don't care that I'm not the best. But I care. I care a lot.

My goal when I started high school was to be class valedictorian. Yes, I knew it was hard, especially in IB. The boy who was the valedictorian at my old high school the year before I started had a 5.28 GPA. My GPA is just barely a 3.75. I could do better if I tried, but I don't know how to.

I used to get As. I was at the top of my class. Everybody envied me because I got 125s on my history work, because I didn't realise she didn't want us to do the essays. I did the essays, and I did them well. Everything was undermined by my problems, though. I was the gay kid, the kid who tried to kill herself in the bathroom, the kid nobody really cared about.

The only people that really cared were my English and History teachers, and surprisingly my P.E. coach. It was the first year(8th grade) that I took P.E. since fourth grade due to me previously being in Orchestra, and he knew that I was weak. Whenever I was on prozac he told me it was okay as long as I kept dribbling the basketball and took a shot every now and then. The last shot I took, I made it, ironically. He was great. I ended the year with a 90, and he made sure of it by letting me write a report on softball(the thing I did best at; running was my weak point, but I finished with a 12:15 the last time, up from 18:26.)

My english teacher was an angel. I will never forget her. When I was called a dyke and cried in the hall, she found the boy and screamed in his face. I'd only seen her scream twice. She didn't even get mad when I fell asleep, saying it was because I always did my work twice as fast and twice as well as others. My history teacher loved me no matter what. She loved my projects, my input, everything. She was happy that I came in second in the Geography Bee, even though I wanted to be first. She helped me fall in love with history, even though it's not my strong point.

In a way, I don't think I'll ever forget eighth grade. It was a year of wins and losses. Everybody thought as soon as I got into IB, I would want out. They were right. I didn't know that in eighth grade, but I know it now. I just remember myself in eighth grade, though, writing stories and bullshitting science fair projects. I even got As on my math tests. I went to the formal, I read more, I did my computer applications work, and I didn't argue with any of my teachers or get in any trouble. I had a great year. Then I started ninth, and everything just fell apart. I cried. I screamed. I got reprimanded by the dean. My friends took care of me. They fought my battles, because I was too weak. I grew attached, and then I got ripped away.

If I told you all of my secrets, they'd no longer be mine

2010-05-03T17:26:00.002-05:00

In the words of Winona, "My whole life is a dark room." I am blocked off, secluded from the rest of the world. People think that they know everything about me. Really, I don't think anybody will ever know my whole story. My friend always asks me to tell him things I never tell anybody. I don't tell anybody because they are my secrets, and everybody needs at least one secret. They keep you honest.

My grades are deplorable. If I could just bring up my Chemistry grade to a 75, and my French and English grades back up to As, everything would be okay. I've only got a few more weeks to pull it off, but hopefully I'll be able to. I wish that I could do well on my end of course exam, but I know I will probably risk everything with them. I don't know. Really, that's been all i can say about anything for a while now.

Josh spoke to me today. I figure I'll try talking to him tomorrow. If I don't freak out.

Just for the record

2010-05-02T16:03:00.002-05:00

I live right off of the coast, about six or so miles inland. I've lived most of my life in Florida, where we're over dependent on tourism. Everybody is making a big deal about the oil rig explosion because they think it's going to destroy everything, and they're all opposed to offshore drilling and they're crying about the beaches and the animals and "raising awareness" and badmouthing BP and other oil riggers.

My brother is an oil rigger. Thousands of people are oil riggers. They're working to clean up the damn spill, and it's not worth going into a fucking state of emergency. (charlie crist) If you would get off of your lazy asses and quit whining and start helping the clean up crew in Louisiana and Mobile and wherever else, you could have your damn beaches that get trashed by the tourists anyway.

2010-05-02T02:45:00.003-05:00

I tried to create a tumblr, but I don't understand their coding so I was unable to change the navigation and couldn't add links to it. If you'd be willing to help me with that, then please comment. If anybody is even reading this. I don't know. I'm not that interesting.

Mostly, I am just tired. By the way, do you have any favorite words? My favorite for a while was "paradoxical", but now it is "translucent". That's how I feel right about now, to be quite honest. Who knows. I surely don't know. I'm tired and should be asleep, but I'm not so here I am rambling to nobody I know in real life. (If I do know you in real life, feel free to point that out. I like knowing who reads these things. It makes me feel attached to you somehow)

And a treat. Here I am. Curled hair and a dress. I hate whenever you can't see my other arm in pictures like this, but it's because I ALWAYS hold myself up with it behind my back. So yes, I have both arms. I promise.

2010-05-01T12:32:00.003-05:00

The last day that I've seen my brother is probably the most eventful day that I've had in my entire life.
I miss him too much.

2010-04-30T20:23:00.000-05:00

I feel lost and I don't know when I'll be found.

2010-04-29T21:47:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I wish that I lived in the worlds I see in television shows and movies.

mostly, though, I wish I had something with somebody like Brian and Justin from Queer as Folk

from This is Everything (originally posted April 25th, 2010)

2010-04-27T15:13:00.000-05:00

Today is pandacam day. Basically, I'm watching this past weeks' time lapses of the Panda Cam videos. I don't know why, but I love being able to watch everything that they do. Right now I'm on the 20th, and the bigger panda is eating bamboo, and one of the smaller ones is sitting in a little nook in the tree limbs. Now I want to go to the zoo. We don't have pandas, though, of course. We have a very friendly giraffe, though, I've heard.

I'm eating one of those Charms Blow Pop lollipops, and it's green apple flavoured. My brother(Kevin) used to have a girlfriend that would give my cherry blow pops all of the time. She turned out to be really screwed up, though. I think she's in Georgia now or something. I don't know, really. Everything is in the past and it kind of makes me feel weird thinking about it.
good night, bloggerland. I love you. I started roleplaying again today and it is lovely.

My character is a catholic school boy that spray paints things on buildings and runs and is really bogged down by his brother's death from a few years ago. He runs into the CEO of this business that is responsible for one of the buildings he spray painted on, and basically that's where we are. The characters are played by Gale Harold and Randy Harrison.(brian and justin from qaf) Everything is just so perfect.

Well, except for the fact that I didn't do much of my homework. Oh well. Also, my third wisdom tooth is coming in. I have to get them cut out this summer.

from This is everything (originally posted April 16th, 2010)

2010-04-27T15:12:00.000-05:00

I love my mom, and I love my dad.
I don't say that as often as a I chould, but I'm saying it now.
My mom and I just cried in the kitchen during the news.
This boy they showed is in foster care, and he's fifteen.
I know my mom wishes she could adopt him.
I wish she would.
I would give up going to college and letting them give him the money if it meant he were my brother.
He sounded so nice and so smart.
I wish I could give him a hug.
I wish he were my brother.
I just wish. I don't know.

from This is Everything (originally posted April 15th, 2010)

2010-04-27T15:11:00.001-05:00

My brain, I think, is the major hub of all of my problems. Maybe I'm a hypochondriac, but sometimes it hurts too much for its own good. I have been dizzy, light-headed, and getting bad headaches regularly for a while now. I also forget lots of things. It's like there's an overload of information there. These are the things I have done this week, in as well of an order as possible.

Sunday: Mrrr... I don't remember this day.
Monday: I saw my youngest brother (his name is Kevin, and he's in the Marines) and went to dinner with him and my parents.
Tuesday: Stayed home from school to go to Kevin's graduation from a Marine school in Pensacola. He's now beginning his time in San Diego to work as a helo trouble shooter. We took him to the airport and I helped him get his bags checked.
Wednesday: I went to school and made up a test (I got a 100, to balance the chemistry test I failed) My nephew stayed with us for the night, and I swear that kid is growing so fast
Thursday(today): I went to school and basically I was just tired. I bought fabric markers to make a shirt, and now I am finishing up homework.

Seriously, what teacher gives you three days to write two essays? I mean, yeah, it's feasible, but it's really hectic. The upside is that this is the last chapter, so currently I'm at the end of history. I'm probably going to get a C on the outline because I refused to acknowledge that the last page droned on about 9/11. Sorry babes, but that's not European History.

This is too much

2010-04-23T19:03:00.002-05:00

Somebody called me their girlfriend today.
It made me want to vomit, because I am still thinking about Kady.
I don't know. I don't know what to do with my life.
I've become more interested in science and math, but it still annoys me.
My chemistry grade is slowly rising, and it's about to be a C again.
I hate this grading period. Even though it's longer, the teachers are taking less grades.
It's screwing me over in History and Chemistry. I have a 70 and a 68.
My other grades, though, are 97, 100, 100, 99, 92. So it will get better.
I am trying to end this 9 weeks with all As, but it probably won't happen.
I need to get my Acting teacher to sign my service hours log.
Six hours from him, and I will be done, and that will be my last requirement I need to meet to get into IB.
Then I will get to worry about even more things. I don't know.

Have you heard about the oil rig explosion? We've been listening to the news lines about it.
My brother is an oil rigger for Shell, so luckily he was not involved.
However, eleven of the men on the BP rig are still missing, and it is likely that they got trapped on the rig when it exploded.
I pray for them. I pray so hard because this just hits too close to home.
It makes me realise how many people are out there doing these dangerous things trying to not only make a living, but to give the rest of us the things we need to survive. Yeah, petrol is bad for the envrionment. So are a lot of things, but it's not like we've built effective vehicles that run on anything other than at least a bit of petrol that is available to the mass public. So pray to whatever god that these men make it, because they're just trying to live and take care of a lot of people.
Who would have thought that in the year 2010, there would still be riggers and miners and all of these people with the truly hard jobs that we forget about so much?

2010-04-21T16:53:00.002-05:00

I hate when people click their pens. I hate it when they pop their gum. I hate it when my head hurts and I want to crawl into bed and sleep and then I realize that I have homework for the first night all week. I'll be fine, though. I just want it to be summer already.

Yesterday is over, and I can finally breathe. Except I feel so disconnected and I don't know whether I'm truly breathing or not. I don't know. I can't really think. Lately I have just been doing the things I'm told to do. Whatever, I don't really know. In the mean time, have a picture.

No, don't pick on me, when one act of kindness could be deathly

2010-04-20T17:32:00.002-05:00

Here's to the eleventh anniversary of Columbine.

Here's to the sorrow caused by the loss of these thirteen following maginificent people: Cassie Bernall, Steve Curnow, Corey DePooter, Kelly Fleming, Matt Kechter, Daniel Mauser, Daniel Rohrbough, Rachel Scott, Isaiah Shoels, John Tomlin, Lauren Townsend, Kyle Velasquez, and Coach Dave Sanders.

This is to the twenty-one injured: Richard Castaldo, Sean Graves, Lance Kirklin, Michael Johnson, Mark Taylor, Anne-Marie Hochhalter, Brian Anderson, Patti Nielson, Stephanie Munson, Evan Todd, Patrick Ireland, Daniel Steepleton, Makai Hall, Kacey Ruegsegger, Lisa Kreutz, Valeen Schnurr, Mark Kintgen, Nicole Nowlen, Jeanna Park, Jennifer Doyle, Austin Eubanks.

And even though some find me crazy for mourning the ones who are at the center of it all, here's to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. God only knows what would have happened if the two of you had stopped yourself from causing such chaos. May you come to peace with your inner demons in a better place.

something my friend wants

2010-04-17T10:20:00.001-05:00

http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=55758053

please vote for him. he'll love you forever if you do.

2010-04-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

http://youwouldnotlikeme.blogspot.com/

I made that back on the eighth or ninth. I don't know if I'll ever really use it.

mi corazon de cenicero

2010-04-11T19:33:00.002-05:00

Strangely, I am actually better at Spanish accents than French accents.
Except, I will never know how to roll an R correctly.
So half of my conversations sound like "I went to the bank and bought a fish with my car" or some random crap because my words aren't always pronounced right.
I am trying to find an outfit that makes me look nice, but... Eh.
I can't wait until I go shopping for school this summer. (I might go with Avi. :])
I also can't wait for my Ravioli to stay the summer so we can watch lesbos have soft core porn sessions on my tele. (yes, I'm talking about the L Word)
Also, my mom and I bought one of those small wading pools like we used to have when we were kids.
I am going to set it up and get tan in it while sipping lemonade. XD
By the way. Pictures from spring break are coming. Eventually.

this is everything that I've given up lately

2010-04-09T19:12:00.002-05:00

travelling:

volunteering at PAWS:

getting better:

music:

decorating my room:

missing my ex best friend(I miss you, ohio lover):

time: