Someone being me

The cloud to go with my silver lining

2008-10-06T18:54:00.008-05:00

So yesterday was my birthday. The big 28. It really does go by entirely too fast after turning 21. If it wasn't for the presents I would just skip birthdays all together. On Saturday my mom sent me a beautiful pink wool peacoat I was eyeing at LL Bean. Because the only thing better than one LL Bean peacoat for the non-existant Texas cold is a second LL Bean peacoat only in pink.

My husband surprised me yesterday morning with a bright, shiny new Wii. I am so excited. I already beat him at bowling multiple times. We went out to dinner last night with friends sans kiddos. It was wonderful. We spent 2 1/2 hours eating and catching up.

Today I decided to take Bear to the doctor to get his cough listened to. I figured it was allergies as he has no other symptoms but an occasional runny nose. The doctor confirmed my suspicion and told us to give him Benadryl. Since I was there anyways we stopped by the flu clinic in the lobby to get our shots. Of course I couldn't get the flu mist because I am pregnant so I have spent the day feeling like my arm is going to fall off after the lovely shot.

I asked my husband to pick up milk, Benadryl for Bear and Tylenol for my arm on his way home. He made it home with 2 out of 3. Guess what he forgot? So he goes back out for Tylenol which makes Bear hysterical since his beloved Dada left so quickly after coming home.

Then my friend called and left a message asking me to watch her son tomorrow while she goes to a church lunch meeting. I already have tentative plans for a late lunch tomorrow with another friend. Plus a list of errands I was going to get done in my precious 6 hours of baby free time. She knows this is my only day a week to get things done without Bear. Her son is in MDO Mondays and Wednesdays. I am just irritated that she gave me basically no notice and she is asking on my one free day. I called and left her a message telling her that I can do it if she can pick him up before my late lunch but I haven't heard back from her so I am hoping she found someone else. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the last time I watched him for her but I am trying to be a good friend and let that go.

The pregnancy so far, a recap

2008-10-03T13:05:00.004-05:00

* Morning Sickness - I was blessed last time to have virtually no morning sickness. This baby is apparently offended by anything not made of sugar, chocolate, and cool whip. Oddly enough I am not a fan of cool whip but apparently the baby is. I have spent lots of quality time with the toilet as my punishment for eating anything other than the baby approved foods.

* Tiredness - I know I am a glutton for punishment having 2 kids so closely together but there is something to be said for having one that still naps during the day. Which means Momma can nap too. Yes, I am aware I am totally screwed come April.

* Peeing - Dear Lord, I did not miss this part of being pregnant. Sleeping would be better if I could just get a catheter over here please.

* Cravings - I am only slightly exaggerating about the sugar, chocolate, cool whip thing. I had a bad sweet tooth with Bear but this goes beyond that because I actually get sick trying to eat other healthier options. Although Jack in the Box tacos are approved and far too many have been consumed. It has been getting slightly better. Weeks 7-8 were the worst.

* Clothes - Still pretty much fitting in pre-pregnancy clothes which I find surprising because I expected to pop earlier with my second one. I did pick up a few cute baby doll tops at Motherhood Maternity that really don't look like maternity tops and cover the bloat nicely.

* Bloody nose - This is new this time around. I have been waking up more nights than not with a bloody nose. I also get them periodically throughout the day. Doctor says this is normal. Does not make it any less gross.

And the announcement you've all been waiting for..

2008-10-01T22:50:00.004-05:00

OK, so maybe you haven't been waiting for an announcement but I have been waiting to make it. This has been part of the reason for my lack of writing lately.

Yes, I am pregnant. Again.

We are so excited. If all goes well we are looking to have a new member of our little family around April 22, 2008. Unless this one decides to take after his or her brother and pop out early. Lets cross our fingers and legs that we won't need to go through that again.

I have known since 2 days before I missed my period because I am impatient like that but I am also superstitious so I decided to hold off telling anyone until after my appointment today. I am 11 weeks and 1 day today. The doctor scared me to death today trying to find the heartbeat but he finally did and all is well.

You have no idea how hard it was not to come to my blog and complain about the morning, noon, and night sickness. The kind where you throw up writing the grocery list because the thought of food is more than your stomach can handle. And the exhaustion. And the peeing. But it is all worth it. And now I can come and share it all with you.

Becoming financially dependent

2008-09-29T18:29:00.014-05:00

I was at the mall today picking up my contact lenses and I started thinking about how different my life is now. Six months ago I was getting ready to quit my job and I was really nervous about the finances and about being fully financially dependent on my husband for the first time in our relationship. Six years ago I finishing my last semester of college and preparing for being completely on my own financially. Both were very nerve wracking times. I'm not sure which is a bigger leap of faith, trusting that you can support yourself or trusting that someone else can support you.

That gets me thinking about how much things have changed in the way we manage our money since we got together. I met my husband 2 weeks after I finished college, right around the time I got my very first full time employee paycheck. He moved in 4 months later into my tiny studio apartment. We were both very broke and we split the bills straight down the middle. Whenever one of us had an unexpected bill pop up the other pitched in but besides that we were pretty even. I remember how touched I was when he gave, not loaned, me $40 to help pay a medical bill because that was a lot of money to us at that time. We eventually moved into a bigger apartment and got married but continued to split the bills. We paid our half and set a certain amount in a savings account but the rest of our money was ours.

One year to the week after we got married we got a joint checking account. That was a big step for us. We continued to keep our own separate accounts with a set allowance per month for play money. That worked for a few months but then we started trying to seriously save for a house and decided to quit doing the monthly allowances and just save everything we could. Eight months after the wedding, 2 weeks after Christmas, my husband got laid off. He was laid off for 2 months which stretched us even further on our budget and house savings. We bought our house in May 2006 and I got pregnant a month later. In September 2006 I got notice that I was going to be laid off the following spring right around the expected arrival time of our son.

My layoff was extended out until May 2007 and Bear came early in January 2007. Due to his early arrival I took an extra month of unpaid maternity leave to stay home a little longer. Then after my lay off I didn't work for 6 weeks. I think the layoffs and the unpaid maternity leave helped us to learn to become more financially trusting of each other. So when it came time for me to put in my notice in February 2008 at my new job I knew we would be fine and I knew my husband would take care of us. However I still had that little fear whispering in the back of my head about how I would have to curb my spending not just due to budget constraints but also because its "his" money. And for the first few months home it did feel a little that way not because of anything he did but just because it was a big adjustment for me to be dependent on someone again.

Last time I was dependent on someone was when my parents supported me and they set me a budget and I didn't have unlimited access to their funds like I do with my husband. Yet as I sat and reflected on that today I realized that it has finally clicked into place and I finally feel like it is "our" money and I feel comfortable spending it like I did when I was bringing in my half.

Little Miss Anti-Social

2008-09-21T21:35:00.004-05:00

I have been feeling kind of anti-social lately. I usually have fun when I make myself go out and do things but it is really hard to get the motivation to leave the house. We went to our neighbors' house yesterday for their daughter's 3rd birthday party. It was a fun party with lots of food, games, a pinata, and of course, a bouncy house. It was all good letting the kids get hopped up on junk food and bounce their little heads off in the bouncy house until the birthday girl threw up in the middle of the living room while everyone was eating their burgers. Luckily we are all parents so no one even batted an eye or stopped eating. My tolerance for grossness has definitely gone up since I gave birth.

Even though it was a good party I just couldn't get myself in the socializing mood. Making small talk seemed like a chore and I felt like the comments I did make came across wrong. Usually we are the last out the door since we live so close but last night we were the first ones to go home. This anti-social behavior has even extended to blogging. I can barely bring myself to update. I'm still reading everyone else's blogs I am just in a funk with my own. I have been tagged for a meme and I got an award so I promise I will get to those soon.

In other news, I did buy myself one birthday present already since my birthday is a mere 2 weeks from today. It was the Thursday markdown at LL Bean last week and I picked it up for $49.00 and free shipping. Now I just have to wait for it to get cold enough here in Texas to wear it. I also picked up Bear's Halloween costume. I am not a fan of the traditional Disney character costumes or the scary ones for kids. I thought this was too adorable and my husband is a total golf addict.

Tomorrow I get to go blow the rest of my birthday money my Mom is sending me on an eye exam, contacts, and glasses. I live on the wild side.

Bear - Doing his part to clean up from Hurricane Ike

2008-09-13T21:36:00.005-05:00

Don't worry. All we got here was a little rain and lots of wind. No serious damage this far inland.

2008-09-10T21:22:00.009-05:00

Tonight I hosted my first small group for church. Our church building is very small and barely has room for the children's Sunday school classes and the adults to attend service. Since the church began 3 1/2 years ago they have had small groups hosted in people's homes instead of traditional Sunday school classes. It is great because you can attend multiple groups and they change out each semester.

I have attended many groups in the past 2 1/2 years we been at the church but I have never led a group before. I have never prayed out loud in front of people before. Even more nerve wracking was that my group is for college women. We have an enormous amount of college students in our church so we have multiple college groups right now. I've stressed about my decision to sign up as a group leader since I made the commitment last month.

What if they think I am out of touch? I know I am only 6 1/2 years out of college but to a college kid 6 1/2 years is a lifetime. I struggled all day today with what I wanted to say tonight. We are doing a specific study so I have the material to cover but on a personal level I wasn't sure where to go. I ended up being honest and open without TMI, I hope. I want them to know I was not a saint, not even close when I was their age.

I talked a lot tonight. They were all really shy at first so I felt like I just talked and talked. Now I am sitting here over analyzing everything I said. I have a tendency to talk fast and say anything that pops into my brain whenever I am nervous. I hope they don't all think I am a total dork and not show up next week. Luckily it is only a 6 week study...

Needing inspiration

2008-09-04T13:46:00.009-05:00

Bear survived his first day of Mother's Day Out. Although I am a little suspicious of the progress sheet they sent home with him. Ate all of his food? Then why was there still food in his lunch sack when I picked him up? Napped? In a room full of other toddlers and toys with no bars to keep him locked in? I doubt it. Whatever. He seemed happy when I picked him up. It was a little strange having all that free time to myself. Don't worry I took advantage of it and used the time wisely by going to the new Target and going home to watch DVR'd episodes of One Tree Hill (OMG!), The Hills, and The Closer. I consider that time well spent.

Now on to my next issue. My birthday is approaching in a month. 28! OMG. Anyway, I need to provide gift ideas to my family members pretty soon and I realized I have no idea what I want. This happens every year. Between Sept-Dec. my mind goes blank and I can't think of a single good thing I need/want. Ask me in February! I will have a list a mile long and then I kick myself for not thinking of that at my birthday or Christmas.

So, my question for you dear readers is what are you coveting? Reasonably priced things of course. A car would be nice but probably not within the budget. Give me ideas. Jewelry, clothes, CDs, DVDs, electronic gizmos, books, bags, shoes. Whatever makes your heart go pitter patter. Help me get some inspiration so this birthday I will get something I really love instead of just telling them to get me whatever. Links are most welcome.

My readers are so respectful

2008-09-01T21:08:00.009-05:00

I am so impressed with my readers. You are some classy guys and gals. I brought up some pretty controversial issues in my last post and everyone was so respectful about making their points. I really appreciate that because I was really afraid to open my comments after I posted.

It seems in the past week that the Internet has exploded over this election in the biggest frenzy since the primaries. Whew. I won't even touch the controversy over Palin. I even refrained from making ugly comments on blogs that vilified her. You inspire me.

Did you have a good Labor Day weekend? Mine was pretty good. Boring, but good. Bear starts Mother's Day out tomorrow. I admit I am a little nervous. Daycare was just such a bad experience I feel like I have post-traumatic stress. Hopefully this will go better.

Tired of being politically correct and not wanting to offend anyone

2008-08-28T21:56:00.011-05:00

I think at some point in blogging you have to come to the realization that you can't please everyone. There will be those who think you are closed minded, intolerant or downright stupid. Some realize this when they start their blog and others take longer. They plant their flag in the dirt and declare that THIS is their space and in their space they have the freedom to say what they want no matter who it offends. I get so tired of being polite and cowering in the corner afraid that I will lose readers because I am a conservative Christian.

I wasn't always conservative. I didn't always go to church. I actually didn't step foot in a church for over 7 years after leaving high school except when I went home to visit my parents. I even used to be pro-choice and I used to shake my head at the people who picketed the Planned Parenthood when I drove by. But somewhere along the way in getting a job, paying taxes, buying a house and starting a family I found my priorities and views shifted.

This week in light of the Democratic National Convention people have been circulating some videos that caught my attention and broke my heart.

This one about Oprah.

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. - John 14:6

And this one about Obama and late term abortion posted on Mommy Zabs

Psalm 139:13-16 (New International Version) - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

The Women

2008-08-28T13:28:00.012-05:00

I saw the previews for this film recently and added it to my must see list. I love the actresses involved and the entire premise of the movie. So, when I was contacted by Dove's marketing agency, Rocket XL, about an opportunity to see this film and receive some great Dove items I was really excited. They asked me to spread the word about Dove's film project The Women Behind “The Women”.

According to the promotional website, "This short film follows 16-year-old teen journalist Cammy Nelson behind-the-scenes of The Women to learn, first-hand, how Hollywood creates the images we see on screen, highlighting the work and people involved in making a major motion picture come to life."

Please stop by Dove's website to:

-View exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of The Women & The Women Behind “The Women”
-Read the Director’s Diary, written by Diane English
-Go Behind-the-Scenes with Dove teen journalist Cammy Nelson
-Download self-esteem building tools for girls, moms and mentors
-Enter for a chance to win one of 100 pairs of movie tickets each day between 9/3 and 9/19

Here is the great swag they sent me for my trouble. Did I mention how much I love Dove?

I'll make sure to update with a movie review as soon as I get to go see it. It is due out in theaters September 12, 2008.

Another post where I complain about helping people..

2008-08-26T20:59:00.011-05:00

My date on Friday with my hubby was lovely. Wonderful. Everything I hoped for. I forgot how much we need that us time. No picking up sippy cups or inhaling our meal before a major meltdown. We got to sit through a 3 hour movie (Batman). What luxury.

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose. Thank you Texas allergies. I made it through the weekend and spent yesterday nursing myself back to health. Today I needed to drop off Bear's MDO paperwork so he would be ready to start next week. At 5:00 yesterday a friend of mine called and left a message but I didn't check it because I was still feeling pretty crappy. She called again at 9:45 so I thought it must be important.

She needed me to watch her 2 1/2 year old today so she could go to a doctor's appointment. No problem, the appointment was at 1:45 I don't mind helping out. The first red flag should have been when she said she wanted to drop him off at 12. The doctor's office is only 5 minutes from my house but something about it was his nap time and how she didn't want to bring him over in the middle. She would bring him here at noon and get him settled in so he would nap until she got back.

Imagine my surprise when she calls at 11:25 today saying she is right down the road so why doesn't she go ahead and bring him by so he can eat and get settled in? At 11:30 she is on my doorstep with him and his lunch. At 11:35 she was out the door, mind you her appointment was at 1:45. She explained that she was going to bring her husband lunch to work so he could use his lunch hour for the appointment? This is 2 hours and 10 minutes before the appointment and her husband works 5 minutes from my house.

I feed her son and put him down at 12:15 for his nap. At 1:45 he is up and ready to play. Her husband calls at 2:05 and says the doctor is delayed so they may be later than they thought. At 4:00 she calls to say she is dropping her husband back off at work. At 4:10 she is back to get her son, 4 1/2 hours after she dropped him off. I explained he only took an 1 1/2 hour nap and she said that was normal which is not how she represented it when she called yesterday evening.

I don't mind helping people out. I understand it is hard to get people to watch your child in the middle of the day but I really think you should set the right expectations and perhaps even give people more notice that you need a babysitter. The appointment was scheduled weeks in advance. I just felt taken advantage of when she left. She thanked me several times but it just seemed like a case of asking forgiveness later being easier than asking permission.

I have watched her son several times over the past 2 1/2 years and this is the longest she has left him with me but I really don't want to set a precedent. She said as she was leaving that she has another doctor's appointment next week but she will try to get someone else to watch him since it is at 8:15 in the morning. I wanted to say I would help but I didn't.

Am I just being overly sensitive?

2008-08-22T09:22:00.003-05:00

This week went by fast. I didn't do a lot but it just flew by. I did find time to enroll Bear in Mother's Day Out though. Well I still have to drop the paperwork off but I did go by and give them my deposit check. Yay! 6 hours of freedom per week for the low monthly price of $81.00. Which isn't all that low in my opinion but still totally worth it. I'll admit I am a little nervous. I think I still have a little Post-tramatic stress from daycare. Which is why we are only starting off with one day a week this first semester. I might bump it up to 2 in the spring.

Tonight my inlaws are supposed to be coming up and staying the night so they can watch Bear for us while we go on a date. I am so excited. We haven't been out alone since our anniversary in May. I am in dire need of a date night. Is it sad that my whole post revolves around leaving my child? I promise he is still wonderful despite his new found love of temper tantrums.

He has started learning all kinds of new words and phrases which crack me up. Yesterday we were walking past the toy aisle at Target and he kept pointing and going See! See! Ball! So of course, the enabler that I am, I totally bought him a ball which he forgot about as soon as we got to the car.

Poor planning

2008-08-17T20:30:00.003-05:00

One of the girls in my Wednesday night church group had a baby a couple of weeks ago. As is custom, the other girls from church signed up to bring meals every other night for approximately 2 1/2 weeks. Today marked the 2nd week of this. I signed up to bring tonight's meal. Other people had sent stuff like a pizza but I wanted to do something special and homemade.

I went to the store yesterday and bought all the ingredients for my homemade lasagna and garlic bread. I spent over an hour preparing it yesterday and put it in the fridge so I could take it over today and they could just heat it up and eat it. I spent the whole day today running around doing grocery shopping, stopping at Walgreens, getting a much needed mani/pedi so 6 p.m. rolled around before I knew it.

I flew in the door at a little after 6 and explained to my husband that I needed to take the meal over. Of course I should have called first but I was running late and since this is the 2nd week of this I thought she would be expecting me. Especially since someone had arranged all these meals and sent out reminder emails, etc. My husband wanted to come along so we could pick up dinner while we were out.

We drove the 20 minutes across town to her house and of course she isn't there. I try calling the girl that leads our group to get her phone number since they didn't put it on the sign up sheet or the reminder email with the directions. She doesn't answer. So frustrating. Then my husband is lecturing me about how you should ALWAYS call, blah, blah, blah. I leave her a note on the door and we go to eat. She doesn't call for 2 hours.

Then when she calls she is all, I'm sorry but I didn't know you were bringing anything tonight. Then she and asks if I can just refrigerate it and bring it tomorrow. I can but it is just frustrating because I spent all this time shopping, preparing the meal and driving it over just to have to drive it over again tomorrow. People have been bringing meals every other day for over a week and will continue to for the next week it seems she should have known. Obviously someone dropped the ball. Now I have my husband telling me that he doesn't want me wasting the gas to drive back over there tomorrow.

Grrr...

Flashing by...

2008-08-12T15:19:00.004-05:00

THEN: Bear swimming in my Mom's pool last summer

NOW: Bear swimming in my Mom's pool last week

He is growing up so fast. My mom and I went shopping last Friday and picked up a wooden growth chart at Steinmart to hang on his wall. I've always wanted to track his growth visually but I had a hard time finding a growth chart I liked. We proudly marked off his height on Sunday when I got home and got it hung. We'll check it again in 6 months when he turns 2. Just saying that freaks me out a little.

Pain

2008-08-08T16:07:00.003-05:00

Bear and I are in Houston visiting my Mom's house for a few days. This afternoon I decided to take him into the backyard to play a bit while my Mom was out running errands. In the course of play he picked up a small decorative rock in the flower bed and before the the thought of him dropping it on his foot had finished crossing my mind he dropped it on his big toe. This caused a small cut on his toe which started bleeding.

I picked him up and tore through the house looking for bandaids and Neosporin leaving a tiny trail of blood droplets. He had stopped crying before I even got him bandaged up. It just one of those millions of tiny accidents that kids have but yet it still shook me up.

People say when you have kids you will feel every heartache and pain as acutely as they do. I believe you feel it even more so. Long after they have moved on you still feel that shaky terror that you felt when you first heard that hurt cry. Whether the pain is big or small you take it on as your own and you nurse that memory long past their physical pain.

Another sleepy Monday..

2008-08-04T11:06:00.006-05:00

How is it that at the end of every weekend I am so relieved it is over? I used to love the weekends. Look forward to them. Savor them even. The past few weekends have just been such a whirlwind that I feel like I can't catch my breath.

I didn't think me or my husband would survive Friday. He spent from 5:30 a.m. Friday morning until 9 a.m. Saturday laying on our bedroom floor with a few pillows and blankets moaning in agony. It was awful. I wanted to help but there was nothing I could do but fetch him food, ice and Ibuprofen while trying to keep my child from using him as a jungle gym. His last spasm hit around 7 p.m. causing him to throw up the pizza I had delivered for dinner all over him, the floor, and the blankets and pillows. I ended up throwing away the pillow and sending him to the shower so I could scrub the carpet. Friday night was the night the Fabreze came to die in my bedroom. Ugh.

Saturday came around much too early and I ran around trying to get Bear ready for a pool party at 10:30 and making sure my husband was settled. My parents called and said they were in town and would swing by while I was at the party and keep my husband company until I got back. The party was fantastic. This country club has the best pool I have ever been to. It has a huge kiddie pool part with a beach entrance that goes no deeper than 2 feet. It had little spouts of water for the kids to play in and tons of pool toys. The only downside was that it was already in the mid-90's at 10:30 in the morning and I was playing in 1 ft deep water which isn't really all that cooling.

I got home from the party and my parent's wanted to take us to lunch before they went home. My husband was up moving enough to come along. We did that and then I took my husband over to our Urgent Care center so they could check him out since he was in too much pain to go in on Friday. They gave him a shot and some muscle relaxers. As soon as we got home and I got Bear down for a nap my best friend called and said their apartment countertops had been varnished or sprayed or something and the smell was about to kill them. With the 100+ degree temps it wasn't an option to open the windows and let it air out so could they please come over and stay the night with us?

I barely had time to straighten the house before they showed up. My friend and I ran to Target to pick up a new pillow for my bed and look for a new lamp to replace the one that died in my living room. Then we swung by Taco Cabana and picked up dinner to take back to the boys. We stayed up watching movies that night.

The next morning we got up and made pancakes and visited before they left. I got everything cleaned up and then it was off to the grocery store. I am tired...

And the winner is ....

2008-08-02T15:07:00.002-05:00

Cheryl of Gibson Moments! Congratulations Cheryl. I will be contacting you by email regarding your $20.00.

You may be an unsympathetic wife if...

2008-08-01T12:12:00.012-05:00

...you debate taking pictures of your husband lying on the floor to post on your blog.

I kid, sort of. I slept very poorly last night due to watching Cloverfield. Cloverfield didn't scare me but apparently it brought back bad flashbacks of I am Legend and the virus infested zombie people. So I spent the night tossing and turning running from zombie people. I was awakened at 5:30 by unholy moaning and groaning from my bathtub. Luckily it wasn't a zombie person. It was however, my husband having back spasms.

He spent this whole week at work moving incredibly heavy equipment and apparently it caught up to him. So I got up and tended to him rubbing his back and bringing him drinks and blankets. He was certain it had to be something more and insisted on going to the hospital. Bear was still in bed and I was in my jammies. My husband was in...well..less. He called his uncle who lives nearby and asked him to come get him so I wouldn't have to take Bear to the hospital.

His uncle arrives at 7 a.m. and convinces my husband that yes, it is really just your back. He went and bought us a couple of bags of ice and helped get my husband settled on the floor of our bedroom. We gave him Ibuprofen and have been putting ice on for 12 min and off for 20. I also made him breakfast and served it to him on the floor. Brought him his laptop and movies....doing all the things a good wife should.

I got him all set up and Bear and I went to run a few errands. I told him I would bring him back lunch. I get back from my errands an hour later with his lunch and I see a tell-tale open pantry door and peanut butter out on the counter. The kitchen counter. The kitchen counter in the kitchen which is on the complete other end of the house from our bedroom. Uh huh. So now his back is hurting badly again and the moaning and groaning is back. Grrr....If men had babies we would all be an only child if the population didn't die off completely.

Catching up and such..

2008-07-29T22:13:00.003-05:00

Sorry I have been so scarce lately. I spent 3 days last week in Dallas visiting my dad and basically eating my way through the metroplex. I love how parents always want to spoil you and pay for everything. We ate out every day, watched movies, swam, and played in an outdoor fountain. It was wonderful. Although I forgot my camera. Grr...

I got to spend my weekend unpacking, doing laundry, grocery shopping and basically catching up. Then Monday morning rolled around and sucked me into the black vortex of the Bloggy Giveaway carnival. Holy crap. I think my fingers are going to fall off before I finish entering all the great giveaways.

I did break away from my computer long enough today to run some errands. Including going to my bank to set up a rollover IRA from my previous job I left 3 1/2 months ago. Procrastinate much? The lady had never set up a rollover IRA before and did not instill a lot of confidence in me. Like when she asked me to sign in the spot that was for her to sign and the spot for my spouse to sign. Oh, and calling her customer service to have them help her walk through the process. Sigh. But its done for now I hope. Cross your fingers that she dotted her i's and crossed her t's.

Bloggy Giveaways Carnivals

2008-07-28T10:12:00.007-05:00

It's that time again, the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival hosted by Bloggy Giveaways. In the past I have given away a subscription to Wondertime Magazine and jewelry. This time I decided in light of the bad economy to give you something we could all use, cold hard cash. OK, probably warm papery cash.

I will mail the winner of the giveaway a $20.00 bill .

To enter just leave your name and email or a link to your blog. If you would like a second entry you can post about this giveaway on your blog and come back and leave a link to the entry. I will draw a winner on Friday, August 1st at 5 p.m. CST.

Good luck!

I survived the weekend, unfortunately the blender didn't make it

2008-07-21T12:10:00.003-05:00

I survived the weekend. Whew. I may need to get t-shirts printed up that say that. Perhaps sell them to college kids on spring break. We had a great time but it was tiring. There was a steady stream of people in and out of our house from 4 p.m. Friday till my friend left at 2 p.m. yesterday. My in-laws even dropped by for a surprise visit with ZERO warning 30 minutes before my guests were to show up.

My husband wasn't there because I had sent him on an emergency mission for a gift for the birthday guy, which I had forgotten to get, and bread, because my bread maker was too hot for me to make the second loaf of bread right away. Then my friends brought an extra guest. And the blender died just as I was getting ready to make the 1st batch of margaritas. My husband got to make a second emergency run to the store for a new blender. Then another couple was an hour late because they didn't realize we were eating at 4. And my friend who was in town visiting got back from the wedding early and announced they didn't have food at the wedding. I barely had enough food to feed everyone which you know is a cardinal sin in my Southern hostessing little heart.

But in the end it all came together thanks to a fabulous brisket and copious amounts of alcohol. Everyone declared the party a success. Sunday morning my friend and I snuck away for ginormous breakfast burritos at a local Mexican restaurant while the boys slept in. She was even so kind as to go to church with me even though my church is quite a bit different from her own. After she left I got to relax and finish watching Season 1 of Mad Men I rented on Netflix. If you aren't watching this show yet go add it to your Netflix queue. Now, go ahead, I'll wait. The new season starts this coming Sunday at 9 p.m. CST on AMC. I can hardly wait.

Now if you will excuse me I have to go catch up on laundry, dishes, and getting my house back in order.

2008-07-17T21:20:00.005-05:00

I am preparing for a mini invasion this weekend. My best friend's husband's birthday is today and they requested to celebrate his birthday with a BBQ at our house Saturday. No biggie. They have a small apartment so it makes sense for us to cook a brisket at our house. But on top of having the get together on Saturday I also have an old college friend coming in to town tomorrow to stay the weekend. She is set to attend a wedding here on Saturday so she won't be here for the BBQ but she will stay Friday and Saturday night.

I am looking forward to seeing my friends this weekend but I am also dreading it a bit. Not because I don't like them or don't like entertaining. I just don't have a lot of time with my husband with all the hours he works and I will be out of town part of next week in Dallas. So there won't be a lot of time for us to hang out and decompress with people here all weekend.

Before I got married I used to dread the weekends and nights. I lived alone and made every effort to never be without company or plans. Now that I am married I have become quite a homebody, perfectly content to spend a weekend in pjs with my hubbie and a stack of videos. I have gotten a little better about going out but I still prefer to keep my outing to a few hours and then back home.

Riding along in my automobile

2008-07-14T15:35:00.004-05:00

My Mom and Stepdad came down to visit Sunday and brought Bear a present.

Isn't she a beaut? Check out the gas mileage on this baby.

Hmmm...how do you get in this thing?

Ohhh...OK, got it...

10 and 2, 10 and 2...I can totally do this..

Can I get fries with that?

The woman behind the mask..

2008-07-10T21:38:00.005-05:00

As I settle into my new routine of domestic bliss as a SAHM I start to wonder who I will be in 20 years. How will my children see me? Will they see me as a boring coupon clipping, bread making, plain old housewife? Will they think that I couldn't possibly ever had a life outside of cooking, cleaning and picking up dirty socks?Will they take my advice because they respect where I am coming from? Has there always been a June Cleaver poking out from under the exterior cool facade waiting to be set free?

I like to think I will be the cool mom. The house that all the kids come over to hang out at. Be the mom that has an open relationship with my kids that they will be able to talk freely with me without the fear of judgement. That they will see that I am protective not closeminded.

How do you balance openness with your kids versus TMI? Will they throw my past sins in my face like my sister did to my parents? Who am I to judge them when I used drugs and alcohol as a crutch to survive high school and college? That I couldn't make it into class without getting stoned in the parking lot first? Will they understand that I warn them out of experience and love and not out of being a hypocrite? Will they look at me and say you did all this and turned out fine without seeing the scars hiding under the apron?

Will they know that I screamed at my parent's that I hated them? That I ran away from home after saying words so mean and hateful that they still echo in my ears 12 years later? That I was a teenager and yes, I know EXACTLY what they are going through. Will they be impressed that I turned my life around and that I finished college early? That I studied abroad? That I worked with rape victims for 4 years rushing to hospitals in the middle of the night? That I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up either. That I still don't?

It is a fine line to walk. You can stay mum and let them see you as nothing more than Mom or you can spill all and let the chips fall where they may. My older sister suffers from overknowledge, the sins of the parent's visited upon the child. I suffer from the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil syndrome refusing to think of the past and wanting to know as little as possible. We fight our demons in our own way. I see my Mom as Mom, the boring old housewife. My sister sees her as part sellout, part hypocrite. Maybe we were both right and yet both so wrong. Either way, who do you think is the first person we call when it all goes to hell in a handbasket?