Something Everyone Should Read, But Probably Won't

Cavs Draft recap

2011-06-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

Good news everyone! The Cavs did not draft Z Jr. Bad news everyone! The Cavs promised trading for more picks in the first round... and they didn't! Bad news everyone! The Cavs had the thirty-second pick, and gave it to Orlando for two second round picks (starting in two years)! Bad news everyone! The Cavs picked some Serbian power forward (because that's an obvious need) with their last pick, but he won't be able to play over here for at least three years... if ever at all!

Good news everyone. The Cavs drafted Kyrie Irving, and paired him with a finesse power forward (Tristan Thompson) with shot blocking ability with strong offensive rebounding skills. I like this. I would have preferred Enes Kanter, but he wasn't available. You can argue that maybe we should have gotten Jan Vesely, a supposedly athletic (they tried to force this down our throats, but he's 6'11" and his dunks on video were not overly impressive, at all) power forward. But Vesely is weak, and plays no defense, and oh by the way, he's foreign. There have been exactly three good (sorry Z) big men from Europe in the NBA in the past, oh, ten years. Their names are Gasol and Nowitzki (there's two Gasol's). I'm tired of those players. This is the NBA, not the IBA. Once they start coming over here to develop their game in college (like Kanter tried to do, he'll be good), I don't want to hear from them. But Tristan Thompson is a tough player, who, combined with Anderson Verajoa, is a pretty above average front-line. I'm okay with it. You don't have to be able to score with your big men, but you need to at least be able to stop the other guys' big men. The league is shrinking (in physical size of players). 6'9" is an acceptable size for a power forward, and I'm okay with it.

Kyrie Irving is going to fit in well. Byron Scott likes young point guards. He helped develop Jason Kidd (remember when the Nets made it to the NBA Finals? How did that happen?) and Chris Paul (let's hope for that kind of development). He's a natural leader. He stepped into Duke University (ugh) and took over a team that had won a national championship the year before. (Gruden voice) "This guy right here, he can play." I'm relatively excited to buy NBA 2k12 this year, just so I can develop Kyrie Irving into an all-star. I don't think he'll be an all-star, at least not for a long time (we're in Cleveland, and look at the point guards in the East, and remember Chris Paul might be coming too). But since when did fan popularity put points on the scoreboard? He's going to average near double-digit assists, and well over double-digit points. Count on it. He's a good starting block for our rebuilding of the Cavs. Be excited for him.

Now, I may or may not speak for everyone, when I ask Chris Grant (again, because he obviously follows this blog closely) "What happened?" Feel free to fill in any expletives you would like in and around those words, but this is a family friendly blog. For the past two weeks, all we've heard is that the Cavs want to acquire more picks. We were going to be very aggressive with our trades. Now, this time period still has another week left in which Chris Grant could make some moves. But here's my biggest problem: We had two second round picks that we did absolutely nothing with. We gave away our 32nd pick for nothing. There is still value to be had at that pick, even in this weak of a draft. Or trade it to go up! Use both second rounders to jump into the end of the first and get, say, Marshon Brooks? A guy who can put the ball in the basket. A guy that could end up being a good second option off the bench once the roster is complete. Instead, we got the 2013 second round and 2014 second round picks from Orlando. Those picks are likely to be at the end of the second round both years. Sweet. And then we used our last pick on a Serbian power forward who won't be available to play in the US for a long time. And he's a power forward. Here's the breakdown of the Cavs Roster, as it stands now, with only Anthony Parker coming off the books:

PG: Baron Davis, Ramon Sessions, Daniel Gibson, and Kyrie Irving
SG: Alonzo Gee, Christian Eyenga, Manny Harris
SF: Joey Graham
PF: Luke Harangody, JJ Hickson, Antawn Jamison, Samardo Samuels, Tristan Thompson, Anderson Verejao
C: Semih Erden, and Ryan Hollins (has a player option, so he can decide to stay and we can't do anything about it)

That's no good. Remember when I said the Cavs aren't going to be very good next year? That's why.

The Silver lining? Here's the list of current players who will either be restricted free agents (meaning Cavs get first choice to bring them back) or unrestricted free agents in 2012:

Semih Erden
Alonzo Gee
Luke Harangody
Manny Harris
JJ Hickson
Baron Davis
Joey Graham
Antawn Jamison
Ramon Sessions (has a player option to decide on his own to come back)

That's a lot of players. That opens up a lot of room to bring in new talent, and draft new talent. That also means the Cavs can be very active in trades this season to acquire players under contract, because that's the best way to get new quality players to Cleveland (nobody really wants to willingly sign here). The future is bright for the Cavs, but it's still at least one year away.

*Note: Baron Davis has an early termination, so he could be an unrestricted free agent. See comments below.

With the First Pick in the 2012 NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select....

2011-06-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

Wait, what? Yes, the heading lists 2012. That wasn't a typo. You know that saying we have here in Cleveland? The saying that has been engraved in our souls as Cleveland fans? "There's always next year." Well, this is the earliest I have ever come to accept that fact, but I'm okay with it. You will be too at some point, it's all part of the plan. Alas, tonight is the night of the 2011 NBA Draft, and the Cavs have the #1 and #4 pick. What should they do? I don't even know if they know all the way. There's a lot of possible drama in play this year, which should make for a compelling draft... or there won't be any drama and this draft will be the worst draft in history.

Let me start this by telling naive Cavs fans a difficult truth: The Cavs, will not be good next year. Let me follow that with something that may shock you: You don't want the Cavs to be good next year. I don't need your permission to tell you anything, it's my blog. The Cavs won't be good next year, and we don't want them to. What is "good" for the Cavs anyway? We're gonna go from worst to 9th best? That's what you want? You want the #13 pick next year? That's not helping us rebuild. You have to understand that our rebuilding process is going to take awhile. Maybe 2-3 years. But it will be entertaining, and we'll have some excitement. But to get there, you got to embrace the stink that will be the Cavs. It's okay. Smell it. It's smells chocolate. It might look like crap, but it sure does taste good.

With the number 1 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select: Derrick Williams.

Maybe.

Why? Because I think it has to petrify Kahn in Minnesota. If I'm Chris Grant, I'm on the phone right now (meaning, all day, depending on when you read this) with Kahn, telling him:

"Hey Kahn, we're taking Williams, with or without you. I know you don't want to be the guy who drafted 3 point guards in 4 years. You only have to drop 2 spots, and we'll throw in our thirty-first pick, and Ryan Hollins. Haha, no just kidding. You don't have to take Ryan Hollins, but you can have whoever you want."

That has to be our play. At least up until about 7:13 pm tonight. Then our pick might change to Kyrie Irving at number one. I actually like Irving better (I think), because he's a solid point guard to build around. That doesn't mean he's going to be a franchise changer like #23 was. But we're not winning next year. There are going to be better wing players in the draft next year *cough* Harrison Barnes *cough* that we will have a shot at. So take the guy who is going to lead the team on the floor, get guys the ball in spots they can score from (like how Baron Davis actually got guys the ball in scoring position, and unlike how Ramon Sessions drives to the basket with his head down, jumps behind the basket, and throws it in an area around a teammate). Irving doesn't do anything great, but he does everything really well, and that's something you can build around.

If we do take Williams, I don't know how I'll feel. He's a PF, no matter how much he says he's not. We have JJ Hickson and Anderson Verajoa, who are both PF, who play as undersized centers. I don't like adding another PF to force our current PF's to play in an undersized position. That's why I don't want Williams, I don't think he plugs a hole. If anything, the only strength the Cavs have for the future, is at PF. Why do we need another one? We don't.... unless we could get Williams and Irving.

Minnesota needs to trade the #2 pick if the Cavs pick Williams, which may be why the Cavs pick Williams, because at worst case scenario, you get Williams at #1 and then try to pick up a guard at #4 (Brandon Knight). Best case scenario- Dan Gilbert threatens to write a Comic Sans letter and sign it David Kahn, and the Cavs move up to #2. If you told me the Cavs could move up to the #2 spot, but we had to lose (insert Cavs player here) I would say fine. There isn't one player on the team that would be heart-breaking to lose. I like JJ Hickson (kind of), but why not start two building blocks together?

Utah could mess everything up. If the Cavs take Williams, and Minnesota takes Irving (I know it's dumb.. but have you seen any moves that Kahn has made? Trust me, it's very possible), then it's up to Utah to let Brandon Knight slide. Word on the streets (internet) is that Utah favors Brandon Knight. If they pick him up, the Cavs are left between a rock and a hard place. They already drafted a PF, and the next best 3'ish players are PF's. You can't draft two in a row, and the players who aren't PF's aren't considered worthy of a #4 pick. So Utah could screw everything up if the Cavs take Williams, which is why I think the Cavs will end up with Irving, and then...

With the Fourth pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select: Enes Kanter.

Chris Grant, I know you're reading this (haha). Please, please, do not draft Big Z Jr. (Jonas Valentino... or something... he's from Lithuania, so let's just call him Z Jr. from now on). We can not start a rebuilding process if we're not getting the second block of our foundation until next year. This is a time when "There's always next year" does not fly. We need our #1 and #4 players to play together for a year. They need chemistry. They need to play with the rest of the teams. We can't put our future on hold. Not because I think the Cavs are going to win next year, because they're not. But most of the players that will be available at #4 are going to be mostly raw (meaning they're not developed at an NBA level). They need time to develop, they need to get accustomed to the system, so the team can continue to grow, together. Together isn't together is one of them is in Lithuania.

Back to Kanter. (Jon Gruden voice): "This guy right here, Enes Kanter- I like this guy." Why? Because he tore up my boy Jared Sullinger in the Nike camp last year (courtesy of Chad Ford). Because he's 6'11", which is taller than Andy and JJ. He has a 7'2" wingspan and a 9'2" vertical reach. He could be our center. That would allow Andy and JJ to play their natural position. Kanter can score low, he's thick, and he can rebound. You're telling me that in this draft we can get our point guard of the future and our center of the future, and already (arguably) have our PF's of the future? Why don't we do this? The Cavs aren't going to be great next year. I'm hoping for the lottery next year. I'm hoping we can trade Antawn Jamison and/or Baron Davis at the trade deadline for some draft picks. I'm hoping we can manipulate the system and get another #1 pick next year. Why? Because our roster could be 1 piece away after next year.

With the First Pick in the 2012 NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select: Harrison Barnes, SF out of the University of North Carolina.

PG: Irving
SG: undecided
SF: Barnes
PF: Hickson
C: Kanter

6th man: Verajao.

That's a roster that's a spot up jump shooter away from the sixth seed in the playoffs. Why not? There's always next year.

Terrell Pryor, Sports Illustrated, and the NCAA

2011-06-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

As the NBA Season has ended, and the NFL lockout is still in effect, there isn't much to blog about lately. It's hard to stretch for topics, and I highly doubt that you want to hear any of my political ideas (hint: Everyone involved in politics are really, really dumb). There's one looming topic that will need to be talked about, but I would prefer to wait until the last day possible to talk about the NBA Draft (hint: Tomorrow). So why am I blogging? Did I really just type 4 sentences to tell you that I have nothing to talk about? Did I just con you into clicking this link so it looks like my blog is more popular than it really is (maybe)? Did we really land on the moon? The answers: No, Maybe, and Yes (maybe). Then what, Mr. Baldwin, could you have gathered all of these innocent people here to read about?

For starters, Terrell Pryor. He's been officially out of Ohio State for a couple of weeks now. He's declared for the supplemental draft. He signed an outspoken agent. He can now trade merchandise for more tattoos without any fear of consequences (unless you count Hepatitis and AIDS, but he can't get those from the NCAA... or can he?). But there is one thing that he must fear, more than anything else. That thing, is Jon Gruden. Now, it's inevitable that Gruden is going to "like this guy," but will anyone else? I think Pryor will definitely get picked up in the supplemental draft, but not anywhere near where his agent says (first round... nice try Drew).

The interesting part of this Gruden special, airing next Thursday at 9 pm on ESPN and then at 10 pm on ESPN2 (I don't even get paid by Disney to say that... I should though...), will be seeing how Pryor answers Gruden's questions. They have already released a clip of the interview, when Gruden basically just asks Pryor "This guy.. what's goin' on with this guy?" (paraphrasing). Pryor gives the answer he should, which isn't telling. He answers the way that anybody in his right mind (though that may be questionable for him) would answer. He's sorry, he messed up, he left for the benefit of his former team, he feels bad about getting the Vest fired, etc. It would be telling if he sat there and said "I just wanted some tats, and I had this s*** laying around, and thought some dudes might be interested in that. It's Jimmy's fault that he covered it up, he could have turned me in, and I would have been in the real NFL Draft. Am I sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry I got caught." That, would have been telling. But he didn't say that, so you have to read into how he says it. From what I've heard people say about the interview(I haven't watched the clip, just had audio), Pryor doesn't make a lot of eye contact with Gruden, but was enthusiastic and engaged. How are we supposed to feel about that? I don't know. I do know that I'll be recording the episode next week so I can watch Pryor like I'm Tim Roth in "Lie to Me" currently airing on Fox, Friday's at 9 pm (I'm not employed or compensated by Fox either...).

Should Pryor have left Ohio State? Yes. Is Ohio State better off without Pryor? Yes. Is Pryor an NFL quarterback? Probably not. Is Ohio State going to compete for a national championship anytime soon? No. Which bear is best? False. Black bears. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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Hey! Remember when I wrote that blog about that guy who had this "ground-breaking" article in Sports Illustrated? Remember when I broke it down point by point giving reasons why it was full of weak arguments? Remember when a couple of the players listed as being involved with tattoo parlor came out and said/proved they didn't have any tattoos? Remember when the Ohio B.M.V. investigated the sale of 25 vehicles, and found that 24 of them were sold for a profit, and that none of the players listed had received any special discount, or had given any merchandise in return for deals on the car? Remember when the guy who wrote that article got fired? Oh wait, that didn't happen yet. But it should. Idiot.

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Hey! Remember when I listed a couple options for "fixing" the NCAA's problem with players receivng improper benefits? Well, after reading Jay Bilas' article on ESPN.com ( I swear, I'm not affiliated at all, I just read a lot of sports stuff), I got fired up again. This respectable analyst (seriously, he is respectable; he might be from Duke, but when it comes to on the court stuff, he knows what he's talking about) thinks that athletes should be able to profit from their likeness. He doesn't propose that players should be paid by the school, but that they shouldn't be prohibited to signing legal contracts to profit from their likeness. Let me say be the millionth person to say, that's stupid.

If that happens, then why go to college? I think the biggest thing people on Bilas' side forget is that these kids are in college. They get paid by the college to play a sport for them, and yes that does make the school a lot of money, sometimes. There are a whole lot of schools that don't make money off their sports. And it's only in men's football and basketball, so this is even more ridiculous. But the point of being a college student is to- get a degree. If Bilas' had his way, what is the difference between college sports and professional sports? What about the kids who can wait to earn their money? The kids who have these problems are the stars who will be in the NFL anyway. Why do they need a headstart on that money? Why do they deserve a head start? Their likeness would mean nothing if it weren't for the school they were attending. They will profit from their likeness when their preparation for their intended career path is complete, just like other college students.

BUT OTHER COLLEGE KIDS CAN HAVE A JOB! THEY CAN MAKE MONEY! Fine. Let the athletes get jobs on campus, like the other kids on campus. That's how it becomes "fair" and there's no more excuses. Kids on academic scholarships aren't signing contracts and trying to profit from their name. Yes, maybe they're going to be the top doctor in their field some day, but they're not signing a contract with the Cleveland Clinic to appear on a billboard, or show up and sign casts for money. They're probably working part-time, and studying their lives away, because when you're on a full-ride for academics, your GPA has to stay above about a 3.7... not a 2.0... so you can't skip class and breeze your way through it. The kids who don't have full-rides? They incur tens of thousands of dollars of debt, that will take maybe a fifth of their remaining lifetime to pay off. The athletes on the full rides? At worst, they don't go to the NFL, the get a degree from a high caliber university and have no debt to pay off. That's not fair? Cry me a river.

It is a business. The players are paid fairly, more than most college kids get in their college jobs. What job do you get paid based off of how much money your company brings in? Oh, none... unless you're on commission (and that's how much you sell, not the company's overall revenue) or you're self-employed. And the amount of revenue that colleges bring in doesn't vary based off what players are on the team, or how many passing/rushing/receiving yards they have. Football schools are football schools- they're going to bring in money regardless of who's under the helmet. I have a number 7 Ohio State jersey that I bought when Ted Ginn Jr. was on the team. But there's no name on it. Guess what? There is going to be a new player wearing number 7 every 4 years, maximum. Guess whose jersey is timeless? Not Ted Ginn's. But Adam Baldwin's #7 Ohio State jersey is.

Call me Canadian, but....

2011-06-16T07:24:00.000-07:00

Shouldn't hockey be the most popular sport in America? I mean, outside of the fact that it's hockey, and most of us don't grow up playing it, if you just look at the dynamics of the sport, the story-lines, the structure... it is so much better than all of the other sports... but they play hockey instead of football. Outside of just the sports of hockey, let's look at the dynamics that make hockey better than all of the other major sports, shall we?

The fighting.
Who doesn't like the fighting? It's awesome. But even more than the fight itself, it's what it represents. Taking football out of the equation, because they self-police on the field, and wear a whole lot of pads, what other sport self-polices like hockey? I mean in baseball you can throw at batters, but that's no fun. Who gets excited over someone getting hit by a pitch? And then the dug-outs clear, oh boy, that's exciting. Not since Pedro Martinez threw down Zimmer by the head has there been a dug-out clearing event that was intriguing. It's actually kind of sad to watch. If I was in the bullpen I would be so pissed if I had to run all the way from the outfield to the infield, so we could stand there and yell at each other. There's no fighting in baseball, there's just a lot of empty threats and "Hold me back, You're lucky he's holding me back!" Baseball sucks for that.

And basketball is even worse! All of these players who think they're hard, getting up in players faces, literally touching noses, and nothing ever happens. Charlie Villanueva did threaten to kill Ryan Hollins last year, but who hasn't? The NBA is full of guys who want to be seen as tough, but when something happens, their first look is for someone to hold them back. The biggest sign of aggression in the NBA this past season was from Zydrunus Ilgauskus. He threw the ball at Joel Przybilla's back. Wow. Excessive fighting would be a problem, but hard fouls that send messages would be good, maybe a scuffle every now and then (like in the 90's, remember how awesome the bench clearings were? Jeff Van Gundy hugging Alonzo's leg? Where did that go?) In the NBA, if you even look at a player weird, or mumble a curse word, you get T'd up. Have you ever played basketball in a Church before? Do you know how terrible it is? Not because you're in a Church, but because cursing yourself becomes a natural habit for most players, and, I mean, you're in a Church. That is the only place that cursing should try to be controlled, because the whole cursing in a House of God just seems really, really bad (other than Middle School basketball and lower, you're kidding yourself if you think High Schoolers don't cuss... they do a lot worse than that nowadays). I say, let the players police themselves, I think a flagrant 1's should be the only penalty- Flagrant 2's would be for fouling to injure a defenseless player, that's just cheap.

The Respect
This goes right along with those fights. Hockey players fight more than any other professional athlete, and hit each other (with less padding) at least as much as any other athletes. The amazing thing? They shake hands after every game. Just like in high school sports, when you were forced to shake hands with the d-bags you just beat, or the d-bags that just beat you. You might not have liked it, but it was the right thing to do, and it helped instill respect in youngsters. In college, they continue that tradition (in basketball at least, I'm sure other sports as well, not usually football though). But once you get to the pros, they stop doing it. They are supposed to be role models, aren't they? I mean, whether they choose to or not, they are. That's why they're scrutinized for everything they do. So why does the respect stop? Basketball players walk off the court almost immediately at the end of basketball games. Baseball players shakes hands with their own teammates, while the losing team files back into the clubhouse. Football players kind of shake hands, but it's in mobs in the middle of the field, and not everyone does it, so it's less visible. Hockey players? They line up and shake hands one by one. Isn't that what we want our kids to see? No matter what happened in the game: cheap shots, fights, blow out wins- it doesn't matter! They show respect for each other, and set an example for the children, and isn't that what it's all about? The children?

The Story-lines:
Alleged rapists, dog killers, illegal gun carrying (and leg shooting), Decisions, steroids, gambling, retirements, un-retirements, re retirements, crying, coughing and owners. These are all common story-lines over the past couple of years in the NBA, NFL, and MLB. You know what these all have in common? None of them have anything to do with the actual playing of the sport. They have to do with individuals, outside of the sports themselves. Most of hockey's best story-lines, you know, the ones that people who don't follow the sport can catch onto (those are the big story-lines), have to do with the sport. There's rivalries in hockey. Rivalries between players (Sid the Kid and Ovechkin) and teams (Boston V Montreal, and probably a whole bunch of others). The story-line in the Stanley Cup Finals this year was how Timmy Thomas was a virtual brick wall, and the Canucks' goalie basically was about as porous as Swiss Cheese. Then the finger biting incident. FINGER BITING! Are you kidding me?! That's awesome! You don't get in-game story-lines (Why isn't story-line one word? I feel like it should be, I'm not referring to an actual line) in the other sports, at least not as often. Imagine if in the NBA Finals LeBron bit Dirks finger, and that's how Dirks finger got injured. So the entire series was LeBron vs Dirk, a showdown, like Bird vs Magic. Where did those days go?

The Competition
I can't speak for the regular season of hockey, or even most of the playoffs, but it feels like there is just more competition in the NHL. The #3 seed Bruins just won the Stanley cup. Yes, that's happened before in the NBA, and the Packers were the last wild-card spot in the NFL. But do you know how the Bruins won the cup? They had 3 7-game series. Three of them! That's more than all of the NBA playoffs series combined! We were all hoping that Miami-Boston would go 7, that Miami-Chicago would go 7, and even Miami-Dallas. I know we all would have been super angry, but how much more impressive would it have been if Miami had been taken to 3 7-game series in a row to win the championship? It's amazing. It just feels like the intensity of hockey, maybe because it's on ice, is a lot higher than the other sports, thus making the competition better. I don't know, because I probably watched about 45 minutes of hockey this year, but those 45 minutes were pretty exciting.

Hockey should be the most popular sport in the U.S. It has everything we want out of sports that our "major" sports leagues don't have. But I don't think it ever will. There's just no room in our busy lives for a fourth major sport. Personally, I'd trade baseball for hockey if hockey was played over the summer, which would be cool anyway because you could go to a hockey game to cool off on a 100 degree day. But alas, hockey will likely always play second-fiddle to the three first-fiddles that are the NBA, NFL, and MLB. I think maybe next year I'm going to start watching hockey, try to get it going.. until the NBA lockout is over.

When Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word...

2011-06-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

I was driving to work today, listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio as I always do, and I finally found a direct comparison between athletes and everyone else. It has to do with apologies, clarification statements, etc. As everyone already knows, LeBron made some, umm.... "questionable", comments in his post-game press conference. It angered a lot of people, and a lot of people shrugged it off, but it mostly angered a lot of people. The damage was done.

And then came Tuesday, during the exit interviews with the Heat players.

LeBron (courtesy of Brian Windhorst):

"Basically I was saying at the end of the day this season is over and -- with all hatred -- everyone else has to move on with their lives, good or bad. I do too," James said.

"It wasn't saying I'm superior or better than anyone else, any man or woman on this planet, I'm not. I would never ever look at myself bigger than anyone who watched our game. It may have come off wrong but that wasn't my intent."

Now let me first say... really? I get the whole, "I didn't give myself this nickname" for being called the Chosen One and The King. But to refer to yourself as that, to put it on license plates, to wear a wrist band that says "King James" rather than "Livestrong," that kind of seems like you look at yourself bigger than everyone else. But that's not the point. Let's say we give him a pass, and take the apology for what it is. We also have to couple this apology with his congratulatory message to the Dallas Mavericks, posted on his webpage:

"Congratulations Mavericks on the championship ... especially Dirk, J. Kidd, & Terry who have done so much for our league and worked so hard to get here. They deserve all the credit for what they have accomplished ..."

That's pretty nice, isn't it? When did the Mavericks win the championship? Sunday. When did he do all this? Tuesday. When did he further damage his image? Sunday. Ooooohhhhhh. So when Mike Greenberg brought up the fact that we, as a public, refuse to give guys we have decided to dislike a pass, it made sense. But anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that there are ways to help yourself, especially in today's social media age.

Have you ever done something that you didn't think was a big deal, but your significant other did? And you refused to believe that you had done anything wrong, although it clearly upset him/her? And then it finally hit you, when you were sleeping on the couch for the second night, that maybe, it was a big deal. So when you go to apologize, you get into even more trouble because you waited so long to apologize? Timing is everything. If you had just seen that he/she was upset to begin with and apologized for it right then before it soaked in to either of you, everything would have been fine, and your back wouldn't hurt. But you waited, you're in trouble, and your back is crooked.

Now look at LeBron. How many times, in the past 12 months, has he clearly done something to upset his significant other (the fans), but refused to believe it was wrong. It started with "The Decision," which took him until the end of the regular season to apologize for. 10 months? Really? Then the celebration, "Not 2, not 3, not 4..." (I can't blame all of that on LeBron, because whoever the genius is who works for the Heat that thought a championship celebration was a good idea needs to be fired). LeBron wasn't scripted to say that, he chose his words. And then there were the tweets... the Karma tweet... the making a list tweet.... he used "it wasn't even my tweet, I just repeated it" for the Karma tweet. If that worked in anything, then it would be fine to tell everyone what you thought of them, and then just say somebody else said it. "Hey George, you're fat, stupid, and you smell like bleu cheese..... Oh you're mad about what I said? Don't worry, I didn't originally say that, I just repeated it to you." If you repeat something, without saying "He/She said," that means you said it. And then on Sunday, after he failed to start his tally of championships that he started last summer, LeBron called out hi

My Brain was Swelling...

2011-06-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking, I know, but sometimes, it isn't easy to find time to write when you've got a job. But my brain has been swelling with thoughts, so this shall be my ice to reduce that swell.

NBA Thoughts

-When the New York Yankees go to World Series, the Boston fans who root against them draw no criticism. If the Dallas Cowboys go to the Superbowl, the Giants, Eagles, and Redskins fans who root against them, draw no criticism. When the Lakers go to the Finals, the Boston Celtics fans draw no criticism.

But when the Miami Heat, who are fronted by a player who jilted the Cleveland Cavaliers and more importantly the Cleveland Cavaliers fans, make it to the finals, and Cleveland fans root against them, it's an atrocity. Why? Why is it such a terrible thing to root against a team? When did being a fan become not being a fan? There were only 2 teams in the NBA Finals. That leaves 28 other teams' fan bases that had no vested interested. The ratings were huge for the finals. A lot of people were rooting against the Heat, and against LeBron. Why is this terrible? The media wants to make it about Clevelanders rooting against LeBron- that's wrong. EVERYONE who has a spine and is not from Miami was rooting against the Heat. They broke the rules. They thought they found a loophole.

It's like in the movie Dogma, when Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were angels banished from Heaven. Then they found a loophole to get back in. God can't be proven wrong- there are no loopholes. Had they gained re-entry to Heaven, the entire universe would have imploded, and there would be nothing. Had Miami won the championship this year, combined with the pending lockout, the NBA would have taken a huge hit in ratings, because a lot of people (like me, and the frequent commenter "W") would stop watching. Thank goodness Dirk thwarted that possibility.. now we get to relive this torment next year... and the next year...

-How awesome is Dirk Nowitzki? He is everything that's right and just in professional sports. He paid his dues. He endured tireless criticism, failed repeatedly, but kept working and eventually that work paid off. He had an owner who was determined to help him win, not an owner who was determined to win for himself. Not since The Dream won the championship in 1994 has a 1 star team won the title. The Pistons in 2004 don't count- they didn't have any stars. Dirk is awesome. Now we'll spend the next 8 months debating if he belongs in the top 10 players of all time, or top 20... what a dumb issue. Let's just enjoy what we have now, and that is an NBA Championship team.

-Did you guys know that LeBron is rich and most of us aren't? I had started to forget about that until he reminded us after he lost game 6. Thank you LeBron. Not only did you remind us how wealthy you are, but you also reminded us all who self-centered an unaware you really are. But let's think about what he said, in perspective. He reminded us (as in, all those rooting for him to fail- that's important) that we all have to wake up with the same lives, and the same problems, and he's going to continue living how he wants. Am I supposed to draw from this, that had I been rooting for him to succeed, that I would have woken up Monday morning without my personal problems? Is that all it takes?

And in perspective, he was implying that his life is so much better than everyone else's, because money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of things that can make you happy. But if you think about it, he works in a controlled workplace, told everyone what he was going to do 7 months before he would have a chance.. and then failed. Kind of like how you don't say you're going to win the lottery, throw a party on a credit card thinking you'd be able to pay it off.. and then you don't win the lottery. Or in sales, you tell your boss you're going to land this big contract, go buy yourself a new car, and then don't make the sale. Basically, you told everyone you're going to achieve the highest level of excellence that you can achieve, and then when you had your chance, you failed, miserably. Yes, miserably.

-Dwayne Wade is a bad influence on LeBron. There's no way to explain it. It's not that me makes him worse as a player, or encourages LeBron to do drugs or something. But he makes LeBron complacent. LeBron thinks (I think) that he doesn't have to perform all the time, because he's got Dwayne to back it up. That's no way to play. When LeBron was in Cleveland, he was the man. He knew it, we knew it, and the other teams knew it. But he thrived. Remember when the Cavs lost to the Celtics in game 7 in 2008? LeBron put up 47. That was inspired play. Remember when LeBron scored more than 30 in the finals this year? Neither do I. He doesn't want to be the man, but he plays better when he is. That's the problem with having two players with the identical style, and almost the identical skill set- LeBron is more gifted physically. LeBron doesn't think he has to be the man so he let up. That's no good. Maybe if we're lucky he won't take notice and fix it, and he won't spend the summer working in the post... but I doubt it.

-Poor Chris Bosh. Yes he may or may not look like a dinosaur. But he was quietly the most consistent player in these playoffs, but he will ultimately play the role of scapegoat on the team. If this Big 3 ever gets blown up, he will be the one to go. I don't think he should be. Imagine Dwayne Wade being replaced with, say, Chris Paul. You're telling me a LeBron with a post-game, a Chris Boshosaur with a mid-range jumper, and Chris Paul distributing, they're not better than this Miami Heat team? And you're telling me the Hornets wouldn't trade Paul on an expiring contract for a Wade who would be theirs for 5 years? Shhhh... don't tell Pat Riley.

-Finally, can we all move on now? The Heat didn't win this year, LeBron failed miserably, can we go back to the normal level of craziness that comes with being a Clevelander? The Indians were in first place for awhile, but I think we dropped the ball, and focused too much on rooting against LeBron and forgot about a bright-spot that we had going. Now they're one game away (tonight) from being in 2nd. In 9 days, we have the NBA Draft, a new future will start for the Cavs, there's something to be excited for in 2013. Oh yeah, the lockout is happening, don't expect anything good next year, other than maybe another top 3 draft pick, which after a shortened season, why not? Here's you choices: Have the 9th best team in the East, maaaaaybe squeak in to the 8th seed only to be destroyed in the first round, and get like the 15th pick in the draft; OR you can suffer through a shortened (probably 40-50 games) and be the worst team in the league, or close to it, and get high draft picks again. AND there's still the possibility of trading the likes of Jamison and Davis for even more draft picks. For a lockout shortened season, I'd rather take the draft lottery. It worked for the Thunder, why not us?

The NCAA Sucks

-Shocking, I know. I really hate when the government gets involved in sports, like how they did with baseball and steroids. But can they get involved and force the NCAA to completely clean house and start over. How is there a business that can be run so poorly? It'd be one thing if stuff happened behind closed doors and nobody knew how ludicrous a company was run. But the NCAA does it in front of everyone, and we can't do anything about it. Obama, please, nuke the NCAA.

Here are two general ideas on how to fix the NCAA amateur issue:

From W:

What if you did kind of like major league baseball… a player can commit to the nfl at any time during his college career or after high school. Goes in to the draft and is drafted whenever or not at all… but keep the rule that they have to be in school at least 3 years or 21 years of age. If they commit early, they are stuck with whatever contract they get when they are drafted and they go back to school to continue playing until they are eligible… if they fail out they still cant play til they are 21… which would make them try harder to stay in school. If they take money from a booster or do something against rules they are suspended and fined if they have a contract with the NFL… or possibly kicked out of school. And they can lose their contract for breaking the rules.

From Me:

Give the kids, as part of their scholarship money, which is probably more than they need anyway, a prepaid visa for an amount. Say it gets reloaded every quarter (since OSU is on quarters, not semesters) with an amount similar to having a part-time job- for food, drinks, going out, small shopping trips. That gets rid of the "I'm poor, so all I could do was take make/sell stuff." Also, it has to be mandatory for athletes to live in college housing. This eliminates the need for rent, and fully utilizes what's involved in their scholarship anyway. Also, make it part of the scholarship, that the student-athlete has to sign, that says if he violates his amateur status, and it is found at within any point, that said student-athlete must repay the entire scholarship + interest (like if you have a Reggie Bush situation where you find out years later). It will be legally bound contract that will at least pose some sort of threat to the student, especially if they're a borderline NFL player. If they're going to make it to the league anyway, it at least gets money back to the school that can be given to students who aren't unethical.

Finally, and this is where the government comes in, make it a felony to provide substantial benefits to an amateur athlete, specifically directed at agents and boosters. The NFL needs to be involved to where if an athlete does accept moneys and is found out, he can be fined in the NFL, but at an exponentially higher amount than what he received. Also, make selling items awarded for personal and team achievements fair game, but set a general market value for them, to determine what an excessive amount would be considered. It seems like a lot of work, but I don't think it would actually take all that much work, and could work without the NFL and government's involvement.

Anyone agree with either theory?

I may be stoned for saying this, but...

2011-06-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

The back-up quarterback on your favorite NFL team....

The white guys on the North Carolina basketball team (not named Zeller)...

Rudy....

Any Junior Varsity team...

The last players off the bench in any sport at any level...

What do all of these have in common? At least two things: 1) they probably suck (in perspective to their surroundings) at their respective sport and 2) we don't boo them.

No, you don't boo players who suck. It's just mean. They know they're probably not very good, so what good would booing do? In fact, most of these players are cheered. It's kind of a back-handed complimentary cheer, but a cheer nonetheless. If, say for instance, on of those UNC kids makes a 3? The crowd goes insane- the game doesn't mean anything at that point, so the 3-pointer isn't of significance, but they cheer anyway. You overreact to the achievements of these players, because they're important to the chemistry on the team (you've gotta have your Mark Madsen and Brian Scallibrini on every team). But one thing you don't do, is boo them.

Your football team is having a terrible season. The back-up gets sent in during the second quarter. What do we do as fans? We cheer... loudly.. like a savior has come to take your team to the top. At that moment, we usually choose to overlook the fact that there's probably a reason he was a back-up on a losing team- he's not very good. You don't boo the back-up. You boo the starter, who gets paid more money than he deserves, who was the starter for a reason- he's probably pretty good.

You don't root against the guys who suck. They're the David's of every story. It's mean, and distasteful. You root against players and teams who are good. You root passionately against players who are really, really good. You might go as far as to say that you, mistakenly, "hate" a great player. Why? Because they don't play on your team, and they've probably made your team look bad at some point. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I might be stoned by civilians in my home state, but it needs to be said.

This has to stop. You're all making of us (Ohioans/Clevelanders) sound and look stupid. It's okay to root against him, he deserves that. But we all know that LeBron James doesn't suck. You might think he decisions suck (pun intended), but his basketball playing ability does not. Do you actually watch the games? Does South Beach steal the ability of players like Rogue? No. LeBron didn't go from a two-time MVP to a player who sucks. All of this nonsense about him sucking needs to stop. "He can't finish" is done. You've watched the playoffs. You saw what he did in Boston and Chicago. He can close.

You can look at the series so far in the finals and say he hasn't done much. You're not watching the game. He was 0-4 last night in the 4th quarter, but also had 4 assists (equivalent to at least 8 points for you math wizzes) and held Jason Terry scoreless. LeBron, unfortunately, has the ability to control the game without scoring a single point. He can do it by distributing and by locking down the other team's best scorer.

I know, I know. The Decision sucked... and it was really stupid. We all wanted him to stay, and he didn't, we've gotta move on. All of his PR moves are actually really, really dumb. You can say his acting sucks, his press conferences suck, his commercials suck (they do), his shoes suck (they really do), but you can't say he sucks... at least not at basketball. You can try to justify it all you want, about how it's Wade's team, and that he doesn't have the killer mentality... that doesn't mean he all of a sudden forgot how to play basketball. All of your arguments against his basketball ability have been disproved. It's okay.

We boo him because he's great and because he doesn't play for us anymore. He deserves to be booed. Many great players are booed. The Yankees have like 27 World Series wins, and they're booed, quite frequently. Why? Because they suck? No, but we like it when they fail.

But don't try to argue to people about his ability, you're making Ohio look bad. We've got enough on our plate right now, we don't need to look like idiots too, if we haven't already.

You can say it sucks- the possibility of LeBron winning a championship- because it does.... but he doesn't. I'm sorry, but it's true.

For those of you who don't speak "Heat-ian"....

2011-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

After an amazing comeback... or an amazing collapse... the most fun comes in the post-game interview. First of all, if they're supposed to be the "Big 3" or the "Super Friends" or the "Heatles"... why do LeBron and Wade make Bosh take on the media himself? Some friends....

Here are some translations for those of you who don't speak the ancient language of front-runner.. also known as "Heat-ian."

Let's start with Coach Spoelstra:

--When asked about the offense during the 22-5 run by Dallas to end the game:

"We went to our normal package of late-game sets, we just didn't have the necessary execution"

Translation: "We didn't make the photo-op shots that we've been making that have gotten us this far"

"Offensively, if we could have executed and moved the ball, we might have been able to stem the tide a little bit, even as poor as we were defensively down the stretch."

Translation: "I really thought LeBron and Dwayne were going to make those fade-away threes. That's what they told me at least."

--When asked about the foul to give on the last possession

"It's easy to say it right now. You know, we're aware of it. We talked about it. We've been in that situation before. We didn't use the foul. Obviously, it looks like right now you could second-guess that, but we didn't take it."

Translation: "We didn't talk about it. We were still talking about how awesome Mario's shot was on the play before."

--On why they didn't double team Dirk on the last play

"At that time, they had carved us up enough on that, we left open some shooters, and they made us pay. We tried to do it with our normal defense. He made a heck of a drive. We cut him off one time, he spun, our help defense came, and he made a high-arcing lay-up, I believe with his left hand. "

Translation: "You mean a 3-pointer is a lower percentage shot than a lay-up? Seriously?"

--On why he decided to have Bosh guard Dirk on the last play

"I'll have to look. We went to our normal package of late-game sets. We just didn't have the necessary execution."

Translation: "No comment"

"Yeah, that's a tough one, also. I know UD probably is really wishing he had that opportunity to defend him. He had gotten a couple over the top, and the end of the game running it all the way down to the clock, could have gone with either guy. Both guys are good defender."

Translation: "Yeah, that's a tough one. Haslem is a good defender, and Bosh has never defended anyone. I looked at Bosh, and I saw a dinosaur, and I figured German's don't like dinosaurs much, so I wanted to go prehistoric on him. Oh yeah, and Bosh sucks on defense... oops."

Speaking of Chris Bosh...:

--On if there was any shock from what happened at the end of the 4th:

"We just didn't execute down the stretch. There's no shock. There's disappointment. But the reality is the r

eality. We might as well get used to it and focus on the next one."

Translation: "Did the game just end? I thought it was over like an hour ago. Shit."

--On what happened on the last play

"Well, I mean, he does a move that he always does. You know, he uses his body well. I got caught up in trying to cut off his drive, and that's what he wanted. You know, for a split-second I just played bad defense. You know, it cost us two points."

Translation: "I mean, he does what he always does, which is beat me off the dribble. He moves really slow, so it's amazing that I could stay in front of him. I should have remember what he always does and not let him spin back left. You know, for a split-second, I thought I made a name for myself on defense... turns out I still suck on defense. And then we lost.... DON'T TOUCH MY EGGS!"

--On if the Heat "exhaled" when they were up by 15

"I mean, not really. We're not really guys that really exhale much. We just we didn't execute down the stretch. I don't really know what happened. We had everything going. We had the momentum going."

Translation: "Have you seen how big our heads our? Do you really think we exhale? Ever? I don't know what happened, I had 12 points, what do you think I was doing? I was watching LeBron and Dwayne dribble for 20 seconds. I TOLD YOU, STAY AWAY FROM MY EGGS!"

--Asked again on his defense on Dirk

"The strategies that we've always been doing. I just tried to stay between him and the basket. He gave me a quick move, and at that point I didn't feel that I had leverage for the foul, because he was going into a shooting motion. Like I say, it was just all bad defense for me"

Translation: "I was shocked when coach went against our strategy we had been using the whole game. I hadn't guarded Dirk all game. We had doubled him the whole game. I guess he was confused and thought I was really a dinosaur. I told him I'm not, but he don't believe me. We had a foul to give? I had no idea, or I might have fouled him.... Like I said, I suck on defense. RRRRAAAHHHH (Bosh attacks a reporter for touching his eggs.. dinosaur eggs).

What did the Big Two think about the game?

--On if they started their celebration too early (after Wade's 3-pointer in front of Dallas' bench)
LeBron James: "It was no celebration at all. I was excited about the fact that he hit a big shot, and we went up 15. The same thing we've done over the course of the season. There was no celebration at all. We knew we had seven minutes to go still to close out the game."

Translation: "Oh you mean the shadow boxing? Yeah, I'm training for the off-season since there's going to be a lock-out. I figured shadow boxing Dwayne might get me some recognition. Maybe it was bad timing to do that, I've never had a problem with timing before..... What do you think it was, idiot?"

Wade added: "A celebration is confetti, champagne bottles......Don't make nothing out of that celebration, like you guys did in the Boston series. It's just being excited about the moment. It had nothing to do with the outcome of the game for us. Like you said, defensively we had breakdowns. They made great shots. They made a lot of shots. They're a great team. But we had a lot of breakdowns."

Translation: "I just thought I was helping LeBron with his sparring. When I celebrate, you know it. I just thought that shot was sweet, I mean, did you see it? I was fading away in the corner.. oh man, that was dope. And then I saw the Dallas bench, and I wanted to let them know how awesome I am, so I stood there. No, it wasn't a celebration, it was showboating... there's a difference, dick."

--On how the last 8 minutes of the fourth quarter panned out

Dwayne Wade: "So we didn't have to score another point to win the game. Our defense was what we lay our heads on. We didn't play it the way we normally play. They deserved it. And we didn't."

"Well when Dallas took that time-out after my three, I bet LeBron I could take more fade-away threes.. and he said 'You mean make?' and I said "No!" So we just started jackin' up threes. Do you know who won? Where's that stat at? Hey, 'Bron.. you owe me fifty bucks!"

--On the last play of the game

Dwayne Wade: "We knew coming out we had a foul to give. We knew we didn't have no time-outs. It was a mental breakdown on us. We'll take it. We all said in the huddle, our coaches said it. Sometimes when you're in the moment -- Dirk made a great move to get a little step on Chris. Obviously if we can go back and do it, we would have grabbed him before he could get up. But we didn't do that. We did know about it. Just a mental breakdown."

"I told Spo that 'Bron shoulda guarded him. I told him we had a foul to give. But they were too busy talking about how awesome Mario's shot was... it was pretty sweet wasn't it? Man, Chris sucks on defense... have any of you seen his eggs? Next time, Chris won't be guarding Dirk... believe that."

--On how the series has changed

Dwayne Wade: "We made it a lot harder on ourself."

Translation: "Man... where's my confetti? I told ya'll I wanted confetti when we win game 2. Oh, we didn't win.... shit... Stern said we wouldn't lose...oops."

LeBron James: "It's a different mindset, of course. It's a ballgame now (because they weren't trying before this?). With the series tied 1-1, we're looking forward to the challenge."

Translation: "Remember when I said I wanted teammates that didn't die in the moment? I kind of look like an ass now don't I? How many points did I have in the 4th? Oh, 0? Yeah... I definitely look like an ass."

And one glorious quote from Ze German:

Dirk Nowitzki: "We're a veteran team and we don't get too high with the highs and too low with the lows."

Translation: "We don't celebrate before we actually wins something.... jackasses."

Pulitzer Prize Winner.. Really?

2011-06-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

Surprise! Jim Tressel resigned this past Monday. In the wake of new allegations, set forth by a Sports Illustrated "ground breaking" article authored by George Dohrmann, Ohio State sits under more scrutiny from the NCAA, national media, and fans. Apparently this was supposed to be some sort of in depth investigation that was going to reveal a bunch of new information that would lead to the further demise of the present Ohio State Buckeyes. Really?

This article has already been discredited by one of the "sources" listed, Ray Isaac refuted information listed in this article. Dohrmann eludes to the fact that everyone knew about Isaac's dealings with a well known booster. The problem is, nobody knew about those dealings until that booster was indicted for felonies, and Isaac was tied to it. The rest of Dohrmann's attacks on this issue are all opinions. On what he actually knew, or that he was just ignorant to everything, these are opinions. There are no facts laid out that accurately identifies that Jim Tressel did or did not know about dealings with his quarterback at Youngstown State. Opinions... that's what wins a Pulitzer Prize.... really? I have a lot of opinions... this guy's a tool.

Moving to present days, Dohrmann spans the past 10 years of Tressel's reign at Ohio State. He references how adored Tressel is/was in Ohio, because of the image he portrays. Then he "digs deep" into the past of Ohio State players and their dealings. There's a bunch of "anonymous sources" who wished to not be named in fear of "retribution." Credible. Anonymous sources say that Dohrmann wrote a huge editorial on why he hates Ohio State. He references Maurice Clarette, and his wrong doings. Clarette initially plead the fifth (basically) in interviews about his dealings, but a year later, when he was out of OSU and the NFL (and on his way to jail), he said he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to rat out coaches or players. He didn't actually say it, but he implied that coaches knew.... obviously that means that Tressel had to know about it. Oh.. and then Maurice went to jail for awhile, got out, went back to OSU for a quarter, and then joined the UFL. Guess what he didn't do? Answer questions for this article. He declined to comment.

Troy Smith was suspended for two games for receiving a staggering and appalling $500 from a booster. He was suspended, rightfully so (regardless of how ridiculous the rules are, they are the rules). Why would Tressel have to know about that type of transaction? What can you really do with $500 that would raise eyebrows? Chris Gamble was allegedly linked to receiving improper benefits, but nothing was ever found on him. Tressel must have covered that up too, he's like Houdini.. or Penn... or Teller.

And then the tattoos. From 2002 through 2010/today, apparently almost 40 current and former players traded memorabilia for cash, tattoos, and weed. How do we know this? Because 3-5 current or former felons said so. Have you ever watched Law and Order: SVU? Or probably any of the Law and Order Series... I only watch SVU, it's the best. Did you know Stabler is leaving?! I don't know what I'm going to do without Elliot's classic one liners, like when a body was found in a septic system, and he spit out this masterpiece: "He must have really known his crap." Who writes these!? Genius!

Alas, I digress... The point I'm making is the hot D.A. never banks on testimony from other/former Pedophiles and drug addicts. Why? Because they're not credible. Oh, it's okay, the guy who is still in jail said "Why would I lie?" Never mind, he's obviously proven that he's a trustworthy individual.. in his third stint in jail. It's funny, because there were people who refuted those claims, except they're quotes were far smaller than the quotes of the people alleging the wrongdoing.

Dohrmann did do us the favor in specifying how much tattoos are worth, and how expensive those sleeves are you see on all of the Ohio State football players. How could they afford such tattoos? These thug Ohio State football players and their tattooed arms, how could Tressel not suspect anything about those? Um.... have you watched any of team in NCAA, football OR basketball? Have you noticed the tattoos? Ohio State is not the only school that has athletes with tattoos. Why weren't those tattoos investigated? Dohrmann is such a top-notch investigative reporter, why wouldn't he look into the dealings of any player with tattoos? Have you gone to a school that wasn't Ohio State? Have you seen the cars they drive? Have you seen their tattoos? Did you care? I didn't think so.

Here's the thing: Tressel, as much as we love him, did deserve to resign/get fired. You can't lie to your boss. There is no circumstance where lying to your bosses for your own benefit, or anyone else's benefit, is okay, unless you're telling the truth to your boss's boss. I would have still cheered if he stayed, but the more that these slanderous articles come out, the bigger hit OSU would take if Tressel was still the face of the Buckeyes. Slanderous, I say? Yes, slanderous, because most of what is written is opinion meant to deface the reputation of Ohio State, by implying that OSU conducts business in an unethical manner. If a McDonald's associate messes up your order, and you write an article saying that McDonald's Corporation intentionally serves the wrong items and has maximum age of 18 OR a maximum IQ of 30, then that's slander. Maybe that's not a great example.. but you get the point. I worked at Best Buy, I no longer do. I can't make generalizations about the company because I may, or may not, have had bosses that I didn't like, and did things in a way I disagreed with. Sure, I could find other current, or former, employees with axes to grind, but that doesn't make it true. The only truth in all of this that has been proven, is that Tressel covered up an instance involving 6 players, directly relating to a specific Tattoo parlor, indicated by email conversations.

Here's another thing: Pryor needs to go. We don't need him. He's going to miss AT LEAST 5 games this year. We have a backup who is capable, and a 4 star recruit to replace him. He's caused more problems than he's worth (since we didn't win a BCS Championship, it's true) and is completely oblivious to his image. How do you show up to a press conference in a new pimped out ride with huge rims, when people were just speculating that you've had at least 8 different cars over the past 3 years? Really? Come on man, get smart. Have fun playing quarterback in the CFL.

The biggest problem I have with Dohrmann's article is the political tactics within it. The selective drops of "Ohio State declined to make Pryor available for comment" are clever. These are sprinkled throughout the article, to make it sound like the people who decline to comment have something to hide. It is written in a way that you hear allegations, and testimony, but you don't get the cross-examination. Only witnesses who had testimony to support Dohrmann's stance were given a spot in the article. Are you telling me that everyone agreed with everything these witnesses said? This was supposed to be a ground breaking article, revealing facts that nobody knew existed. Surprisingly, most of my Sports Radio people brushed this article off. Even Colin Cowherd, who notoriously takes shots at OSU, said this article didn't reveal anything compelling. It's a bunch of opinions, all towards the same goal, written in a way to make you want to hate Ohio State, much like many of my opinionated articles are written to make you hate the Miami Heat. At least I admit that I'm anti-Heat... maybe this Pulitzer Prize winner should admit that he's anti-Buckeye. Good work, Chief.

They weren't supposed to win this year. The Bulls vastly over-achieved this year (were projected to be a 4 or 5 seed before season began). The Thunder over-achieved, building on last year when they took the Lakers to 6 games, and gave the eventual champions all they could handle. They were supposed to take the "big" step this year. They took the "next" step, but there's no skipping steps in the NBA. One at a time. That's the rule. Know your roles.

The Thunder are in a great position for the future. Three young stars (yes three, Harden is greatly overrated and will be 6th man of the year next year, put money on it today) and a defensive mentality are a recipe for success. People want to rip Russ Westbrook for taking more shots than Durant, and having too many turnovers. Well, he's not a point guard. He's a shooting guard playing point guard. He's also 6'6". He brings the ball up the court and sees a defender who is usually 3-4" shorter than he is. You're telling me you wouldn't want to shoot it every time with that kind of height advantage? BS. Of course you would. Or if you wouldn't, that's why you've never played basketball. Sorry, but it's true. You see a mis-match, and you want to exploit it. You have the ball in your hands already, and you're going to do what you want. It didn't hurt that Durant didn't exactly "light it up" in the playoffs. He played well, don't get me wrong, but he wasn't exactly Mr. Efficiency (aka Dirk Nowitzki). Stop killing the kids. They're young. They will learn from this. Hopefully they remember how bad this feels right now, and use that as motivation to never want to feel it again.

Who is going to top the West next year? The aging Lakers? Maybe... but if you ask me, Kobe is way more past his prime than people want to admit, Bynum won't be healthy (surprise!), Ron Artest is, well Ron Artest, and Pau Gasol may be in a shell the rest of his life. Oh yeah, and Lamar Odom might get eaten by a dinosaur, the Kardashasaurus-Rex. What about the Spurs? If Duncan can use a walker on the court, and Tony Parker doesn't sleep with any of his teammates wives (doubtful), and Manu Ginobli gets some Rogain, then maybe. But I doubt it. The Mavericks? That's wild card. Dirk is old, but he's German, and spends most of his time outside of the lane. But Jason Kidd is on his last legs, Shawn Marion's shot is going to have to stop going in eventually, it's hideous, Tyson Chandler is a free agent, and J.J. Barea can't be Mighty Mouse forever. The Grizzlies and the Blazers will be your other teams of the future, barring injuries and airborne gambling rings. But the Thunder are in a great position to be at the top of the West for the next, oh, 5 to 6 years.

The Bulls are the new-age Cleveland Cavaliers, except I can't drive from work to watch them, and they have Joakim Noah. Ugh. How do you make the NBA and still shoot with two hands? Nobody taught him? High School? College? Come on now, it's embarrassing, for all of us. Alas, that's not the point. Derrick Rose is only going to get better. Don't think he's not going to have an outside jump shot next year. Some people, who's opinion is worth little more than mine (Cowherd), want to bash Rose because he can't play defense like LeBron. I don't need to go into all the reasons on why that's a ridiculous argument, but here are a few: 1) LeBron is a freak athletically; 2) Derrick Rose is 6'3" 190, a freak athletically, but still small by NBA standards.... did I mention that LeBron is 6'9" 280 lbs? Oh yeah, Cowherd, Derrick Rose should definitely be able to lockdown Lebron. Idiot. I did it again, that's not the point to be made.

The Bulls have arguably the best young point guard in the game, they have a lockdown wing defender in Deng (nobody shuts down LeBron, so don't use that as an argument), they have their high-energy defender/rebounder in Noah, and they have their overpaid waste of space player necessary on every time in Carlos Boozer. Wait, that's not right. It's true, but isn't part of a delicious plan for a championship. The Bulls are either going to trade Boozer for a SG (go after OJ Mayo.. just do it already), or they need to spend the whole summer and lockout to work on Boozer's awful defensive ability, and shrinking confidence. (Oh yeah, the lockout. Forgot about that. See ya Boston. Bye-Bye Lakers, Au Revoir Spurs.) The Bulls are one piece away (sound familiar Cleveland... ugh... damn you Delonte! Chipotle!) from taking that next step, to be able to beat the Heat, and stop the travesty that is happening in the NBA today.

But what about the Heat? Isn't this the worst that they're going to be in the next 6 years? They're going to cut away all the crappy players who they signed to 1 year contracts and bring in the big guns to fill in around the Big 3 and the small 2 (Haslem and Miller). They're going to be so much better when they get that point guard they need, and an established big man. They're going to be so much better. It's such a good thing they'll have cap room after this year when all those players come off the books.

Oh yeah... about that... with the combination of around 6 (takes the roster size down to around 6 active players) players coming off the books, and increases in annual salary of the "big three (d-bags)," the Heat will have a whopping $2 million coming off the books. The Heat will have $2 million in cap space? For six players? Who are better? Ohhh... that's okay, they'll just trade some assets to get that cap room. Like... Zydrunas Ilgauskus... and Mario Chalmers... who wouldn't want them (I do love Z... but come on, give it up Z)? Oh, and the kicker.... remember that lockout thingy? Yeah, the salary cap is around $65 million dollars right now. More than half the league's teams are losing money. The cap is going to go down. So the $2 million under the cap could become, oh, $5 million over. Uh oh... now there's trouble in South Beach. Yeah.. this might be the worst that we see the Heat, because they'll begin to mesh a little better... but it could also be the best we see the Heat for awhile. Don't worry about them.

The rest of the East? The Knicks? They don't play defense, and are still waiting for that 3rd star who will never come... sorry New York.. keep telling yourselves that the NBA is better when you're good.. becuase it's not. When was the last time New York won a title? Oh yeah, I was -14 years old. I think the NBA's done alright without those Knickerbockers (maybe they should officially change their name back to that, and wear Knickerbockers, that could help). The Magic? Yeah.. maybe if they get Penn and Teller to conjour up a magic trick to get Dwight to stay. Oh yeah, and Gilbert Arenas... enough said. The Hawks? Here's a bold prediction- they will make the playoffs, probably a 4 or 5 seed, and at some point they will lose 4 games by about 100 points total. The Celtics? The Celtics are like that team at open gym, you know, the 40 year olds that still come to play with the high schoolers? They come, and they'll win a couple games, but after a couple games to 16, they're not getting up and down the court very well, their shots aren't falling, and the only advantage they have is the amount of sweat lubricating their inexplicably bare backs. Sorry C's... Rondo can't carry your sweaty backs forever.

The Cavs? Lol.

Damnit....

2011-05-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like the USA just lost to the USSR in the 1981 Winter Olympics Hockey. Where's the miracle? I'm pretty sure Rose's shot was supposed to go in. Can we get another take on that? Somebody messed up the score in that game. Did that really happen?

Yes, sadly. Yes it did.

It takes a big man to admit he was wrong... fortunately I wasn't technically wrong. I was merely rooting for an outcome, not predicting or guaranteeing one. Alright, I was wrong about the 7 game series.... there's still about a 4% chance that I'll be right, but for all intents and purposes, I was wrong about that. It's a shame.. the NBA could have milked a couple million more dollars out of the networks.

Can we say it now? Is it okay? Can we finally admit this truth, because it is true, though nobody wants to admit it? It's time to move on. The first step of that... no.. let's say like the fifth step of that, or maybe the final step.. is admitting this one, devastating truth:

I'm Sorry.....

LeBron James, is the best player in the NBA, and will win a NBA championship this year... and probably for years to come. And he will not be wearing a Cavs jersey while doing it.

It's sad. It really is. He still acts the same as he did on the Cavs.. his sh*t talking... his crying to the refs... his unnecessary celebrations... but I just don't like them anymore. What is he doing now that he didn't do on the Cavs? Taking over. End to end. He can't be stopped. LeBron took it to the hole last night, finished with his left hand over Noah, and when he didn't get the "and one" foul call (though he wanted it), you could see him saying "I don't want your foul," or something like that. Nasty.

Then, he shuts down the best young point guard in the game. 6'9" 280 lbs LeBron guarding 6'3" 190 lbs (soaking wet) Derrick Rose. That's just stupid... in the complimentary way. Do you know how hard it is to guard a point guard when you're not one? Very hard. At every level. LeBron is the only player in the NBA now, and probably in history, that can guard, successfully, every position on the floor. 1 through 5, LeBron can do it. It sucks. He's really, really good. He's the best.

Dan Gilbert's words are all but eaten. The preseason victory party finally has it's reason. The Heat are going to win the championship. I might not watch the NBA for 5 years. That's probably not entirely true, but I want it to be. Just because they're winning, doesn't mean it's the "right way." They still cheated the system. They cheated the Matrix. They chose the red pill... maybe it was the blue one.... either way, they broke the norm. We don't like that. That's why it's the norm. Because that's what everyone is supposed to do. They didn't.

The Celtics started it, but didn't completely cheat. They may have tanked to get a lottery pick, the stole an aging star in Garnett, and stole (but gave up a lottery pick.. that turned into Jeff Green.. who ironically is on the Celtics now) Ray Allen. But these were trades. These are the off-season activities we as fans like. Trades. That's why there's an ESPN "Trade Machine," not an ESPN "Free Agent Superteam Machine."

The Knicks did it post-Heat, but still didn't completely cheat. They signed Amare in the off-season, the first free agent signing, so not too much to feel bad about. LeBron could have gone there, would still be hated, but not as much as he is now. Then the Knicks gutted their roster, gave it all to the Nuggets (who did better in the playoffs) for Carmelo. Two pieces, and they'll have to wait another year for their third piece... and hope beyond hope that Amare's body doesn't fail him.

Let's hope that this is the "heartbreak" that every young team has to go through. Like Jordan's Bulls, Isiah's Pistons, Kobe's Lakers, LeBron's Cavs (damn!)... they all went through that "close, but not good enough" phase. Let's hope the Bulls and the Thunder are going through that right now. They built their teams the "right way"- through the draft, and strategic signings. They developed their own players, made some timely trades and signings, and created a deep, balanced team. Unfortunately, they're just too young right now (I hope).

Let's just hope that Dirk continues to be unguardable. He's going to have a 3 inch advantage over LeBron, and has the luxury of being an amazing jump-shooter. I don't count on it.. I want the Mavericks to win, but I'm not getting my hopes up...

The Best Blog Post of All-Time....

2011-05-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

What? Exactly.

I think too many people are obsessed with labeling things "the best ever." Especially in sports. I like basketball the best. Jordan has 6 rings, Russell has 11, but Malone doesn't have any, Magic was a 6'9" point guard, Pistol Pete had the best court vision ever. All of these arguments are silly. When you argue about music, you're making a subjective argument based on your tastes, so you're right... to you.

When you argue about the best basketball player ever, you can use championships as your measure... except Russell had 11 and Jordan had 6 and Kobe has 5 and Shaq has 4. Yeah, but Russell played too long ago, so his 11 championships aren't good enough.

You can use stats to bolster your argument. Oscar Robertson averaged a triple double, and Wilt scored 100 points in a game, and Jordan averaged over 35/game in a season, twice (but didn't win a championship in either year he did it), and Kobe scored 81 in the "modern era."

I love that. The "Modern Era". Here's some statements that will anger a lot of people. Kobe is as good as Michael Jordan. LeBron is the best player of all time. I don't buy into either of these, but walk into a sports bar and say that really loudly. Just do it.

Venom.

"Dude! What? No Way. You're an idiot, do you even know what basketball is?! Idiot!"

Why are we obsessed with labeling players? Does anybody stop to think how ridiculous it is? Even today. LeBron is better than Kobe. No way. Really? I'm better than my dad in basketball. Why? Because I've got mad skills. Also, he's twice my age and his knees are gone. Oh, and Kobe's knees are still there? And he hasn't played 7 more seasons than LeBron? Oh, that's right.

Well, when Kobe was in his prime he was better than LeBron. Yeah, well LeBron was a senior at St. V, and then a rookie in the NBA. I would the top player in the game was better than a high schooler. Yeah, but.. if you took Kobe in his prime against LeBron in his prime, then Kobe would be better. Why?

Kobe has 5 rings. What? Idiots.

Here's the point. You can't compare Kobe in his prime to LeBron in his prime, because it didn't happen at the same time. Why would Kobe be better? He has the "killer instinct" and he's "clutch" and he can score "81"... I mean, 81, it actually was 81. Kobe is the best scorer... but LeBron is bigger, and rebounds more, and averages more assists.

Kobe has 5 rings. Stop it.

So Jordan is better than Kobe. Because he's a better scorer, and had more assists, and more rebounds. And he had 6 titles. Facts. Did in his prime Jordan play against in his prime Kobe? No. Will they ever? No. We have a fresher memory of Kobe... but Jordan is like the Zeus of basketball. Nobody shall dare to be compared to him. But isn't the talent level higher now? Are players more athletic today? Aren't there better developmental programs today? Aren't the training programs, workout programs, rehab programs, and accommodations better today? Aren't the rules more beneficial to scorers today? Yes, yes, yes, yes....yes.

E) All of the above.

You can't take players out of one era and put them into another. You can't go from old to new, and new to old. You can't. There are great players in every generation. There may even be the "greatest player in a generation." But how do you compare a player from today's game to a player from 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30, 40, 50 years ago? Or vice-versa. You can't. Deal with it.

Guess what? There won't ever be another Jordan. Or another Magic. Or another Bird. Or another Russell, or Kareem, or Big O.

Guess what else? There won't ever be another Kobe. Or another LeBron (ugh). Or another Wade. Or another Iverson. Or Shaq, or KG, or Duncan, or Dirk.

Stop it. We don't have to have greatest ever. Most people who argue these things nowadays aren't old enough to even remember all these people play. You know Shaq was in his prime 10 years ago now? I don't remember 10 years ago. I know he was good... but, 10 years ago? I'm old. I'm 24.... my memory is gone. Let's just enjoy what we have in today's game, and compare these players. These arguments are dumb.

Besides, Kobe has 5 rings...

And Jordan has 6....

And Robert Horry has 7.

Thoughts from the weekend... We're all still here...

2011-05-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Rapture:

6 pm May 21st came, and it went... and at least nobody in Cleveland was chosen to go to the great beyond. My first thought was more an affirmation, that God, in fact, does hate Cleveland. However, that was more for my own amusement, and then I just wanted to talk to someone who truly, truly believed that Saturday was going to be the beginning of the end for us on earth. How do they explain themselves now? People quit their jobs because of this. What do they say when they apply for a new job?

Interviewer: "So why did you leave your last job?"
Crazy Person: "Well, I was kind of banking on being raptured up to Heaven..."
Interviewer: "....And?"
Crazy Person: "Yeah... I'm still here..."

Idiots. Sorry, I guess if they truly believed it, they shouldn't be made fun of for their beliefs. But then again, how many times do you get to actually prove somebody's belief's wrong? Most of the major religions (all that I'm aware of) are based off of things that are unable to be proven, but also unable to be disproven. The whole point is to actually believe in something. So what happens when you believe in something, change your life for it, and then... "Wait.. Wait... Santa isn't real?!" That's the closest comparison I can think of for something like this, but I highly doubt parents quit their jobs because Santa Claus was coming to town. I can only hope that I run into somebody who based their beliefs on the world ending on this:

"May 21, 2011, is Judgment Day, upon which the righteous – which totals 3 percent of humanity – will be whisked away to the sweet hereafter, leaving the rest of us to weather five months of extreme natural disasters until Oct. 21, whereupon God destroys the entire universe and everyone left in it.

Camping says that because Jesus was crucified on Friday, April 1, 33 AD, and that it takes exactly 365.2422 days for the earth to complete one orbit of the sun, we can conclude that, on April 1, 2011, Jesus was crucified exactly 722,449.07 days ago. Add 51 days to this to get to May 1, and you get a figure of 722,500.07"

"1. From the time of the crucifixion on April 11, 33 AD (a date that is not agreed upon by scholars) to May 21, 2011 is a total of 722,500 days.

2. The number 722,500 is made up of two sets of an identical series of numbers: 5x10x17 x 5x10x17 = 722,500.

3. Now, since the number 5 stands for atonement (Says who?) and 10 stands for perfection (Since when?) and 17 stands for Heaven (Give me a break!), this formula means, "Atonement has been completed for Heaven," and it is repeated twice for emphasis."

Really? Seriously? "Repeated for emphasis" I love it... Sorry guys...

NBA:

First, I have to mention a prediction a one JD made for the Cavaliers. Just so it's here, in type, with credit, JD believes that the Cavs will trade Ramon Sessions to the Knicks for their #17 draft pick, and the Cavs will draft Providence Guard Marshon Brooks (I think... he'll correct me if I'm wrong), a 6'5" SG who is a born scorer. Noted.

Second, can we all just agree that travelling is a farce of a violation in the NBA and they should just stop calling it all together? There is nothing more frustrating than watching these terribly bias officials call travelling on the "Players not named LeBron, Dwayne, Kobe, or Carmelo" when they take an extra step, and then blatantly ignore the infractions when "Players name LeBron, Dwayne, Kobe, or Carmelo" take 4-6 steps on every other possession. It's getting ridiculous. The part that makes this the worst, is that travelling is probably the least subjective violation in basketball. You get 2 steps. If you count three, it's a travel. At least missed foul calls are up for interpretation, and can be sold either way with over-dramatizing of the highest magnitude. Flopping can be very misleading. But travelling? All you do is count. 1...2... 3...4.....5....6... I mean... Maybe our refs can't count that high, but you only have to get to 3 for a travel! Next time you watch an NBA game, watch the feet of players. I like to do that sometimes when I know the refs have picked a side, because it's fun to see how many players can switch their pivot foot without being called, and those are the least blatant of all the calls. LeBron taking a pro-hop (a travelling in some forms depending on who does it) AND THEN take 2 more steps to the hoop is the obvious violation. It's disgusting.

Thirdly and Fourthly, watch for OKC and Chicago to both win their game 4. They're both in must win games, and the NBA is approaching a lockout, so they need as many games as possible before this season ends so they can bank as much money as possible. Look for two seven game series in the Conference Finals, and then a Seven game NBA Finals. It's all about money, so don't expect either team to go down 3-1... just don't.

Lastly on the NBA..... I still hate Miami.

MLB:

The Indians are awesome. I was getting worried when we dropped 2 in a row to the White Sox... but we swept the NL Central leading (at the time) Cincinnati Reds at home, in a variety of ways. We had a comeback win on Friday, a pitchers duel won on Saturday, and a blow-out on Sunday. We get the Red Sox tonight, on national television no less, so hopefully we can pull this one out as well. It seems every time a Cleveland team gets on national TV, we suck, so don't be surprised if Masterson gives up like three HR through two innings...but either way.. Go Tribe.

The Most Electrifying Blog in Internet Blogs Today!!

2011-05-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

Finally... a blog.. that compares the NBA to the WWE!

With only 4 teams left in the NBA Playoffs, we're getting close to the end. OKC/Dallas seem to play every other day now, while the Heat/Bulls series could go until June at the rate they play. But with these four teams remaining, it's remarkable, just how different each team is from the other. Equally, possibly exceedingly, remarkable, is how each team can be compared to prominent Professional Wrestling Factions (Will not be limited to WWE, WCW will also be in here). Without further ado...

1. Evolution

This one is a little new for some of you, I'm sure.. .though it's about 5 years old by now, I would guestimate. Included in this stable is HHH (he is awesome enough to jump from stable to stable), Randy Orton, Batista, and Ric Flair (woooooooooo!). Who, you may ask, could I compare to this group of young and old players?

The Dallas Mavericks.

HHH again, is the leader. The idea behind this stable was they had the last generation in Flair, the current in HHH, and the future in Batista and Orton. HHH is a veteran, and in his prime. He calls all the shots, takes some advice from Flair, but is the unquestioned leader. He is the champion of this group. Thus, Dirk Nowitski is the obvious choice. He's at the top of his game right now. He's been in the league for 13 years now, but is playing better than ever. The Mavericks go, as Dirk goes. Randy Orton and Batista, very talented, fairly young, wrestlers. Some exciting entrances, exciting finishing moves, but again, they feed off HHH. But HHH can't win alone, he needs these two. Randy Orton is definitely Jason Terry. Terry can take over if he needs to with his 3's, he gets the crowd involved (even though the crowd hates Orton, they're still involved), and can swing a game within about 2 minutes. Batista would have to be Tyson Chandler. He's the muscle, he does the dirty work, he intimidates the other team. He's overly muscular (Batista) so his move array is kind of low (capped off by a Batista bomb- Tyson's dunks), but he plays a vital role in the dominance that Evolution showed in the mid 2000's. And for the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. Way past his prime, holding on to his past. He's a lot slower now, his moves are limited to a chest slap and a figure-four leg lock, though still effective. He loves his kids, waves to them in the crowd while in the ring... I made that up, but it's a great segway to: Jason Kidd. J Kidd came into this league in 1994. 17 years he's been playing, he's past his prime, way past. But he's effective. He's a good floor general, he controls the tempo of the game, and he helps Dirk get his. But it's important to reiterate... he is very, very old.

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Rock and Sock Connection

Oklahoma City Thunder

I know, I know, I said 2 people can't make a stable. But 1) I didn't the Nation qualified for this team, and how could I do a wrestling blog without the Rock? And 2) there is a correlation here. The Rock, arguably the best wrestler, at least in the last 20 years, teamed with an "in his prime" Mankind. Stay with me here- Mankind isn't the best example, but it works here. The tag team won the belts when they teamed up, but the Rock was definitely the better of the two. Mankind's wrestling was, unconventional yet exciting (being thrown off the top of a 20 foot steel cage? crazy bro), and could sometimes lead to the detrimant of the team, but when he was at the top of his game, they were unstoppable. See where I'm going here? DO YOU? Kevin Durant, could arguably be, the best scorer in the league today (Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!) but sometimes, his buddy thinks he could be too (Have a nice day!). When Mankind steps out of line, his team loses. It's hard for the Rock to put Mankind in his place in a language he could understand, so the message didn't alway get through. Kevin Durant is The Rock. Russell Westbrook is Mankind. If The Rock doesn't tell Mankind to "Know your role, and shut your mouth" then they are going to lose. Russell Westbrook- the fans love you, you're fun to watch, you do some crazy impressive stuff that some people wouldn't even think of doing, but you've got to let Durant do his thing. That's the only way you're going to win the Tag-Team Championship... you've got to let the Rock be the People's Champ.

3. Degeneration X

The Bulls

Easily the most popular of the stables in wrestling history. I'm not talking about original DX, and I know I know, we all love HBK. But the HBK/HHH DX was bound to fail. You had two guys and a shemale, that's not going to last. So we look at the DX that made wrestling famous. The DX that came invaded the competitions arena and caused trouble (like the Bulls team defense). You had the obvious alpha dog on this team in HHH (Derrick Rose). He was the unquestioned leader of DX, the other members fed off of him, and they would never win a 4 man tag without him. When HHH gets hurt, DX was irrelevant, just like the Bulls. What about the New Age Outlaws? Multiple time tag-team champions, BA Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg Jesse James were great. They followed Hunter's lead, but could work on their own, as displayed by the tag team success. You can't really tag team in the NBA, but the whole "work on their own" is displayed on the Bulls by Luol Deng and Carlos Boozer. They are fully capable of working on their own, playing defense (Deng) and hitting the pick and pop jumpers (Boozer). If they don't perform well, DX doesn't have a chance. Then there's little ole' X-Pac. X-Pac, the undersized little buddy of the group, couldn't do much on his own. Yeah, he might be able to work over some smaller or older opponents, but he primarily excels when he's teamed up with HHH and can bring energy to the match. If he can pull off his Bronco Buster in the match, maybe a well-timed superkick, he could help propel team DX to a victory. Who would this be? Kyle Korver and Taj Gibson. Kyle Korver with his 3-point shooting (the only thing he can do) and Gibson with his defense and dunks. They can't produce much on their own, but they feed off the crowd and get theirs from Rose.

That brings us to my favorite comparison in this group. Chyna. Who didn't love Chyna? A Man trapped in a woman's body. Or maybe a woman trapped in a man's body. Either way, she did her job. She didn't do much on her own accord, and basically acted as the enforcer for DX. Look at that scowl. A low blow here, a distraction there, a conventiently placed metal chair, and DX wins. Who is this? I think you already know...

With his disturbing appearance, terrible shot, but tenacious/irritating defense, he often plays a major role in propelling the Bulls to victory.

4. The nWo

Besides the process of elimination, do I really need to tell you who gets compared to arguably the most hated stable of all time? Okay, I will.

The Miami Heat.
More similarities than you may think. If you recall, in the mid 1990's, WCW and WWE were very competitive. Two wrestles, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, were out of contract and decided to join WCW, kind of. They were known as the Outsiders, and were quickly fan favorites- to hate. The tag team had long promised a 3rd partner, but it wasn't until Bash at the Beach in 1996 that the third member was revealed. In a stunning betrayal of fans' hearts, Hulk Hogan turned on his long-time friend (in WCW) Randy Savage, and joined the "evil" Outsiders, thus forming the nWo, or New World Order. Interesting, isn't it? We'll say Scott Hall is Wade, only because he went to WCW first, or in this case, the Miami Heat. He recruited Kevin Nash fairly quickly, who we'll call Chris Bosh. This was already a quick start to despising the Miami Heat team, but it was obviously still incomplete. The new leader, the supposed alpha dog, the great betrayer, LeBron joined the Heat (nWo) in grand fashion. Hulk Hogan went from one of the most loved wrestlers, to the most hated. The nWo ran amuck for a couple years, before egos took over, and the super power was disbanded and divided. Will that be the fate for the "Heatles"? They have already proclaimed themselves champions, and have the ability to achieve that goal this year.

Which Stable will prevail?

If ya smell..... what the Rock..... is cookin'...

-Balls!

2011-05-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

Ping Pong!
I have never liked Ping Pong more in my life! Is it sad that I'm excited that the Cavs "win" last night was only possible by having the 2nd worst record in the league, and took on $28 million worth of Baron Davis' beard from the 8th worst team in the league? Yes, it is sad. But you know what else is sad? Having the second worst record in the league... going on a 26 game losing streak... and saying "there's always next year" before this year even starts. So when what you were looking forward to when you said "there's always next year" is here, you get excited about it. And not only did the Cavs get the #1 pick in the draft, we got the #4 in the draft as well. There's so many options with that pick! Do we take a foreign big man? Do we go Center or Small forward? Do we trade down and try to get another pick in NEXT year's draft? Do we trade UP and try to finagle our way to the #1 and #2 pick? And that's all assuming we know we're picking Kyrie Irving with the #1! There will be plenty of time to ponder of these possibilities between now and June 23... all I hope is we don't botch it completely, and if all goes well, we can get rid of Ryan Hollins... and maybe Ramon Sessions.... come on, you know you don't want them either.

Base!
How about those Indians?! Not since Rick Vaughn have the Indians been this exciting. Even when Grady Sizemore gets put on the 15 day DL for a bruised knee, and everyone starts thinking... "Oh no.. here we go again," what happens? 19-1! That's what happens! 19-1! Are you kidding me?! Then they turn around and win 7-3 the next day, I mean... when will this magic carpet ride end? And who's our Aladdin? Manny Acta? Is Pronk our Eddie Murphy? Who doesn't want to have a beer with Matt Laporta? I've never enjoyed watching baseball this much before, I can only hope it lasts at least another 4 days.

Foot!
Peyton Hillis on the cover of Madden- That's awesome! Our 2011 Draft- that went swimmingly. Colt McCoy leading off-season workouts on his own- that's a leader. Josh Cribbs' hair- its still awesome, even when it's not coming out of his helmet. But you know who has become my favorite Brown over the course of the past 3 months? Joe Haden. I know, I know, he has his flaws. He went to Florida. But the way he has embraced this city is awesome. He dressed up like Baron Davis and Anderson Verajao at Cavs games. He's been at multiple Indians games, and went all out Baseball uniform at the last one he was at. He attended the Draft Lottery with Cribbs and Bernie Kosar (and Nick and Dan Gilbert), sporting a personalized Cavs Jersey. Haden has epitomized a model athlete, as far as being a team player goes. There was a time when a hometown player would show up to home games, but sport opposing apparel, or stand on the opposing sideline. Really, LeBron? Who's your PR guy? Fire him, he's an idiot. How many times do you need to get ripped in the media before he is gone? Haden has supplanted himself as the newest "face" of Cleveland, and I love it.

Hockey!
That one doesn't fit, which is why I'm not going to talk about hockey. Go.. Monsters..?

If (and when... please) the Heat don't win....

2011-05-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

This comes from a discussion I had with my brother on the Heat. There will be a much happier post soon after this one.

If they don’t win this year, they’ll say “Well, it was their first year together, they hadn’t figured out how to play together yet.” And then they’ll say “And they have an incomplete roster, they need to fill out some more pieces.” So that says to me:

They just want to give them an excuse, because good basketball players figure it out… how did team USA figure it out with ALL those other stars? Didn’t they know they wanted to play together because, um, they played together? How do pick-up games work? What about AAU teams? Are they just not good enough to learn how to play with each other after 100 games? Really?
They want to make the excuse, and assume, that good players are just going to flock to Miami to win a title. Where is all that money coming from? Don’t they have 3 max contract guys, and Mike Miller, and Haslem for a good amount of money? Isn't the salary cap going to shrink? Where are these great role players coming from? Will they be illegal immigrants that they don’t have to pay? Can they restructure their contracts so they can get better players? What “great” free agents are there that are going to fit there?

The Heat are scrutinized this much because they are an utter atrocity in the basketball world. They represent everything that basketball IS not. They say that no teams have won the championship without 2 great players.

1) false, and

B) Even the teams that had 2 great players, they also had great role players. The 2 great players on every team still had an alpha dog great, and a deferring/role playing great. When Kobe won with Shaq, it was Shaq’s team, Kobe knew his role, and they had Fisher, and Horry, and Fox, and Shaw and good role players who played defense and made shots when they needed to.

When the Bulls won, they had Jordan, the obvious alpha dog of them all, and Pippen, who was capable of scoring, but was a 1^st team NBA defender and rebounded, plus Rodman, Kukoc, Kerr, Harper, a bunch of great role players.

The Spurs had 1 great in Duncan, and 2 really good players that would add up to a 2^nd great with Parker and Manu, and a bunch of really good role players.

NO TEAM has ever won with 2 GREAT, TOP 5 players, a 3^rd top 25 player, and then a bunch of garbage. You can’t win basketball with 3 players. You can’t. They can’t. They better not.

LeBron was SO much closer with the Cavs than he is with the Heat. He had the role players. And if he would have manned up and, um, committed to playing in Cleveland, maybe a free agent WOULD have landed here. I hate listening to people talk about how garbage the Cavs roster was- they weren’t, and LeBron had a hand in picking them all. We couldn’t attract free agents because LeBron wouldn’t tell them he’d be there, bottom line, end of story. We get Amare- it’s a dynasty. We get Bosh- dynasty. We get Ray Allen- we win at least 1. The Cavs were built completely around LeBron, and were 1 key player away from being complete, and unfortunately, LeBron swallowed that key, because he had already made up his mind long before June 2010.

Breaking News: Lockout! ...and that's why we need a mercy rule

2011-05-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! The NFL locked out the players... or they were given permission to keep them locked out... or they can lock them out for at least another two weeks, but then they might not be able to lock them out, or they might have to unlock them out... Expletive Deleted!

This is the worst news possible in the sporting world today. Not that there is a lockout... most of us have come to accept that, it's old news. No, the news that this is news the worst possible.

An aside:
Why is this in federal court in the first place? Not only do we have to pay $30 to park (they have to make up for all the alcohol sales they lose out on in the parking lot... if only they would start selling it there... no..they wouldn't.. they couldn't... would they? Bastards), we have to pay $10 for a 10 oz beer (they say it's a 12 oz, but how many times have you gotten a perfect pour in those plastic cups? There's always a good inch of foam), we have to pay $75 for PRESEASON tickets (when the starters play 1/4 of the game, and then guys we've never heard of, nor will hear of again, get to play) and $150 for regular season tickets (in the upper deck with all the other belligerents. And you always get stuck behind that ONE extra drunk guy who finds ONE fan of the visiting team and heckles them the whole game, regardless of the score), now we have to pay for the courts to listen to these whiny silver spooners complain about how to split their $10 billion dollars, and have them appeal EVERY decision (taxes, thanks Uncle Samwise)?

Anyway..
Regardless of the ridiculousnous (that's a word... I just added it to the dictionary) of the appellate court ("What?! You're ruling for him?! I don't like that rule, who can I ask that can give me a different answer?" Oh yeah, there's a court for that... and then when that ruling is overruled, the OTHER guy can do the same thing.. really? That's efficient?), can't the courts just say "No, you're all stupid, work it out"? Why isn't this an option? Parents can do that, and isn't that what the courts really are? Everyone's parents? Everyone knows the NFLPA is still the NFLPA, which is a union, so they need to get their collective bargaining hats on and do it. You know how angry people in Ohio and Wisconsin have to be about that? Public employees who fought and lost their right to collectively bargain (at least to the extent that they had the right to before) have to be metaphorically pulling their hair out at this. It's one thing to rebel against your superior, that's what this country was founded on, so we all have that right. But at least when we revolted against the Crown in 1776 we tried to negotiate first. You know what happened after they couldn't work the details out? War. Is that what this will come to? No. That could make a funny cartoon in a newspaper though. No, there will be no bloodshed, but something that won't happen, should happen: Boycott.

I know, I know... how are we supposed to (il)legally gamble on football if there isn't any being played? What will we do with our Sundays? And Mondays? Sometimes Saturdays? Sometimes Thursday? And what about Thanksgiving? Isn't that the true meaning of Thanksgiving? Watching football for eleven hours? Will Thanksgiving be cancelled? We can't let this billionaire millionaires win. We, the fans, are the only reason the NFL has $10 billion to argue about. So we need to stop watching. Stop reading. Stop going to the games. We'll still have college football on Saturdays. Beer will still flow on Sundays. We can all wake up early and watch English Premier League Football.

No, they don't play football in England, it's actually soccer, but I feel it's disrespectful to say soccer after "English Premier League." They don't call it soccer. They call our football "American Football." Well, we have to be better than them, we don't discriminate in sports. There's room for two "footballs" in this world... and if the NFL is locked out, I guess there's only one anyway.

So this is a call to boycott the NFL.

Aaaaaaand this is the voicemail message rescinding that idea:
"Yeah... about that boycott... that was all talk... we need fantasy football. We tried playing Fantasy EPL Football. But we don't understand the difference between a forward and a striker and a left back... what is left back?! Plus, all this names likes Drogba and Scholes, and Dempsey.. wait, no not Dempsey, USA! But all those other guys, what's with those names. I can't root for a guy to score if he's laying on the ground for 20 minutes after he trips. We need the NFL back. I want to go to the bar again. I tried going on Sunday and there was no football on. Same awful music, but without the football to drown it out, I almost stabbed the cocktail waitress. Maybe we should pickett instead of boycotting... so as soon as the lockout is lifted, we can rush the stadium like it was a huge victory (like Wisconsin sporting events of any kind). So, yeah, Roger G. and Dee Smith... you guys take your time... we'll be here when you're ready."

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The Indians won 19-1 last night. First of all, awesome. I love that the Indians can score 19 runs. Granted the starting pitcher of the Royals lasted a whole 1/3 of an inning, but still. Grady's on the DL, and Carmona keeps blowing great games with one bad inning. But 19 runs? Can't there be a mercy rule (or at least a mercy plan) in MLB

Matt LaPorta looks like a guy that you could just sit around and have a beer with.

Go Tribe!

Sometimes the Bull gets you...

2011-05-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

It feels great to be an American today... the Bulls beat the despicable Heat, and Global Warming doesn't exist. It sure isn't warm here, the rain has kept it quite cool. Maybe that's a sign that the Heat are going to lose? I hope so.

Another sign? Chris Bosh scoring 30 points, and Dwayne Wade and LeBron James scoring 33 points... total. The rest of the Heat scored 19 points. That's a recipe for success if you want to beat the Heat. It's easy to say "LeBron only scored 15 because he had a bad night." He shot 15 times, and scored 15 points. That's not just a bad night. That's good defense. Wade was 7-17 and LeBron was 5-15. The Shocker? LeBron and Wade only went to the line 8 times, total. Granted, the Heat were a perfect 15-15 from the free throw line, but that is not what got the Heat here. Partial referees or not, the Wade and LeBron are averaging around 21 FT attempts PER GAME in the playoffs. Maybe there were a couple less Snipers in the rafters in Chicago, maybe the refs never got their checks from Mr. Riley. Either way, D-Wade and LeBron didn't get into the lane like they normally do, and when they did get there, they didn't get the calls they normally get. Did the refs just swallow their whistles?

The answer, is no. The Bulls just played outstanding defense on those two specific players. Carlos Boozer said the Heat have "2 great players." That's right, they do. So the Bulls focused their efforts on playing lockdown defense, one on one, against the Heat's two best players. They gave up their own men to play helpside defense against those players to shut down the lane when they penetrated. If the Heat win this series with Bosh averaging 30 points per game, and the bench for the Heat stepping up, then so be it. But Tom Thibs (I'm not looking up how to spell his last name, and refuse to guess.. his nickname is Thibs, so that's what I'll call him) is not going to let LeBron and Wade beat him. I hope, beyond hope, that his gameplan prevails. If the Bulls win with that strategy, that will justify every fan and analyst's argument against the Heat- 2.5 players don't make a team, 2.5 players don't win a championship. Eventually, when the Heat get better role players by way of aging veterans selling out to chase a title, they will win one or more championships. There is no reason to live in denial of that. But not this year, not against these Bulls. I hope.

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When is travelling not travelling? When it's a "star" doing it. When is an offensive foul not an offensive foul? When a "star" is doing it. The NBA has the best talent in the world. That doesn't mean that they have the best basketball in the country. They have the most entertaining at times- because they play for near 8 months of the year, and get all the television time. But to say it's the best basketball is a travesty. When the rules of a sport are changed, it is not the same sport. The NBA changed rules to encourage scoring because that's what simpleton fans like- Chalupas. Hey, I like free diarrhea as much as the next guy, but I'd rather watch a game where at least twice during the game I didn't say, out loud, "That was a travel" or "that wouldn't be a foul if it were (insert NBA Star here)." Here's two examples of why the NBA and their atrocious subjective officiating ruins the game:

Last night, in the first half of the game, LeBron was being guarded by Joakim Wookie Noah. LeBron was dribbling around the top of the key as the shot clock winding down, and everyone who's ever watched him play said "Pull up fade-away." Surprise! Lebron took a dribble, and stepped back to attempt a fade-away. Now on this play, for you basketball savvies, LeBron established his left foot as his pivot foot, which anyone who has ever attempted a fade-away step back shot would know. That wasn't the travel. The travel occurred when LeBron pump faked, got Chewbacca in the air, and then stepped forward into our Wookie friend attempting to draw a foul. The Problem? He took a step with his free foot (righty) first, and followed it with a step with his pivot foot (lefty) in order to get close enough to draw the foul (which he didn't). That is only the most recent LeBron James blatant travel that I will touch on, but watch game 4 of the Boston series in the last 40 seconds and you'll see another. Count 4 steps (you get 2 in basketball... but anywhere from 2 to 8 in the NBA, depending on your star power, and how many jerseys you sell).

Which brings us to example number 2. The good ole' pump fake jump into them play. You've seen this countless times by players such as Dwayne Wade, Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd and LeBronDelonte West how simple that play was when he was called for an offensive foul for that play in game 5 of the Boston/Miami series. Aaaaand that's why the NBA's officiating sucks.

Sorry Mr. Stern, but the subjectiveness of your league's officiating is the worst of all the major sports, and has gotten to a point where it's predictable which way the game will go based off the officiating in the first quarter. My dear old brother, mentioned only as "W" here, has a solution for this. 1, make him an official. But more importantly, 2, don't give tenure. Referees should be able to Ref for no longer than 4 years. There are referees that have officiated for over 20 years. There is no way that they have not developed a bias towards one team, one coach, or one player, or another. How can you develop a bias if you're only there for 4 years? The mob, but there's nothing we can do about that. But other than organized crime, that would solve the bias in the NBA. To add to W's idea, I think that all of our referees should be trained, in house in an NBA officiating school, and they should all be from a country that none of the players are from, and speak a language that none of the players speak. They make all the calls with hand signals anyway, and since players NEVER commit a foul, the foreign officials won't understand all their constant whining, and will eventually stop. This will speed up the game, and reduce technical fouls, as well as create a level playing field across the board.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

2011-05-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

First, sorry if you missed the first two posts, but apparently the BlogSpot had a meltdown and destroyed my creation after only being alive for one day. Some may take it as a sign, but it was worldwide, and I'm not that important.. yet.

The title of these thoughts may be misleading. No, this does not have anything to do with politics, terrorists, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan (or his 2 x 4). No no, this is a call to all Americans. All 10 of you who read this, can tell 10 of your friends, who can tell 10 of their friends, and soon, there's 30 friends.. wait.. there's a lot of friends. Think of me as your resident Richard Ponzi, but I'm not trying to rip you off. We, as American sports fans, must take a stand.

We must annex the state of Florida. And for at least the next two weeks, the Chicago Bulls are no longer the Chicago Bulls. They are the U.S.A. Bulls. That terrible state of Miami and their front running string of fans, who show up a quarter late to see the best two players in the NBA, (in the second round of the playoffs!) don't deserve what they have. And for that, they must pay. We need all 51 states remaining to root against the Miami Heat (49 in the union + Mexico + Canada.. they might as well be states).

The Heat epitomize everything that is wrong with professional sports, and especially the NBA. 2.5 players do not make a team. 12 players make a team. Players don't have the right to form their own teams. They can have a say, but allowing the players to control their fate will ruin the sport. No, it's not slavery, they're making more money than most of us can dream of. You can argue that if you're the best doctor, or lawyer, or accountant, or some profession that you can go work for who you want in the market that you want, fine. But these athletes, are not doctors, or lawyers, or accountants. Their job is to entertain. They play a sport, that many would give anything to have the ability to do, to entertain millions of fans in this country, and across the world. Conspiring to team up together throws the competitive balance off, an alienates fans. Don't have 30 teams if the top 10 players are going to be on 3 teams.

So we must stand behind these Bulls. One superstar, an energy player (whom I despise, Noah), a former hated Cavalier (Boozer), and a bunch of role players, who fill out a solid 9 man rotation. A TEAM that believes in each other, believes in their leader, in their gameplan. They play hard for each other, they play team defense, they rebound, they're humble. For one series, the Bulls are America's team. We need them to succeed. Nobody wants to see the Heat win. People who do fall into two categories. One category, the acceptable one, are the locals. You live in Miami, you've been fans since Pat Riley was coaching Alonzo Mourning getting his leg bit by Jeff Van Gundy in the playoffs. You, my friends (and rivals), have a pass. Carry on.

But the other group. The Front Runners. The "LeBron is awesome, and this is going to be the best team, so I better root for them" fans. You are terrible. Professional sports is about the name on the front of the jersey, not the name on the back. You can like players on other teams. But you can not change your favorite team because one player left your team for another. What happened to loyalty? What happened to "All for one. One for all"? It is fitting that LeBron is the face of that franchise, whether people think it's Wade's team or not. LeBron should be the symbol of the team with the largest Front-Running following in the nation.

First, let me state this: LeBron James is the best basketball player in the NBA. Not only that, he could be even better than he is. I do not deny his abilities, or even his right to go to a different team. Yes, it sucks, and I will root against him forever. But this is not a LeBron James hating convention, he has enough haters who don't rationalize any of their feelings, other than "He left Cleveland." The point I am getting to is this nation of Front Runners we have forming behind this Heat team. LeBron is a fitting face for this nation. Not because he fled Cleveland for warmer weather (literally, and also nicely metaphorically). That's fine. But what are LeBron's favorite teams? And where is he from? He is from Northeast Ohio. Most Northeast Ohioans favorite teams consist of the Browns, Indians, and Cavaliers. Maybe a few Steelers (get out of our state) fans here and there, maybe some Reds fans (you're the NL, I don't care about you). But who did LeBron choose growing up? The Cowboys. The Bulls. The Yankees. Wow. Here's how that situation happened:

"LeBron, who are your favorite sports teams?"
"Who wins the most?"
"The Cowboys, The Bulls, and the Yankees"
"Ohh I like them.. they're my favorites"
"But what about teams close to you? The Cavs have been good. The Indians are good. You could even like the Steelers, they're close to you."
"But the Cowboys won last year, and so did the Bulls. And the Yankees always win"

Front-running. Terrible. As fans we try to associate with our teams. That's why we agonize over defeats, and get angry when players leave. We try to relate to our teams. They're OUR teams. The Cowboys, the Bulls, and the Yankees are not LeBron's teams. What association does he have with them? How did he relate to them growing up? Maybe LeBron was just born to be a professional athlete, and that's why he never developed an affliction for any teams. Too bad for him. Have you ever tried to root for a team that isn't yours? It's rough. It's hard to watch. How do you do it?

For the next two weeks, you better figure it out. We (America) need the Heat to lose. They need to know that they're wrong. Those front-running fans need to know that they chose the wrong bandwagon. Come back to America, front-runners... the U.S.A. Bulls are driving the wagon, and there's plenty of room left.