Son of a Biscuit Eater

I am stuck on Band-Aid....

2011-08-01T21:01:00.000-04:00

Cause Band-Aid's stuck on me!

I said aids.....

Religion: Christian Terrorism?

2011-07-31T20:20:00.000-04:00

Real or imagined? You decide!

http://news.yahoo.com/christian-terrorist-norway-case-strikes-debate-181559379.html

What do you think?

Other: Sorry......

2011-06-06T22:05:00.002-04:00

Been sick with Strep Throat. That crap is a b!tch. It's left me uninspired to blog about anything. So until that situation changes, I apologize.

Other: A wild Snorlax appeared.....

2011-05-27T23:37:00.001-04:00

...and it was gay!

God. Damn.

This "creature" was spotted as part of a GBLT group protesting the Westboro Baptist Church, who was protesting a Jenny Craig clinic I suppose. God. Damn.

I feel dirty. Old school Sevendust should help.

Other: Hang in there Joplin!

2011-05-24T00:12:00.002-04:00

Our thoughts & prayers are sent out to those in Joplin, MO and their current struggles as a result of the tornado yesterday. Hang in there!

Other: Zombie Apocalypse!?? zOmg!

2011-05-20T00:42:00.001-04:00

In a cutesy way of spending taxpayer's dollars, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) came out with some information on how to prepare for the upcoming hurricane season. But instead of the usual yearly advice such as filling your bathtub up with water & maybe fucking your neighbor's wife, they decided to....well....give the same advice, except this year under the guise of impending zombie attack. Because, hurricanes are so boring & not as topical as say...zombies...or fucking pirates! God I hate pirates!

Finally! Something good came out of Motley Crue! Sixx AM

Other: And we're back!

2011-05-14T00:52:00.001-04:00

I was crapping my pants! Well, not literally. But when I tried to log in the other day & saw my account had been disabled, I was like what the hell!!?? Now I see that Google has had issues for the past few days. This says 20 hours, but that's crap. So I'm glad to be back up.

Funnay. 43 best responses to misspelled words on Facebook.

Commercials: I HATE the new AT&T ad!

2011-05-09T23:56:00.000-04:00

Seems everytime you turn on the tv, you see it. The latest ad from AT&T. This one:

Yeah, it has its fans. Here, for example. Here is an interesting one where it's debated whether the "tosser" pays for a new phone or not.

It's clear that "Shelia" is a whiny, annoying little bitch. That's probably why "the bear" as we shall call him dumped her ass six months ago. Plus, within the finite confines of a 30 second spot, you have to make things happen, and what better way to display the "speed" of AT&T's (pseudo)4G network, than to send a text, get two replies AND a video.

It was "bro-riffic" to ask for clearance to hit her up for a date. What wasn't cool was to toss the phone with a whiny little grunt, and then toss back your jericurled hair like the bearded hipster faggot that you are, with your fake Charlie Sheen sounding voice. On second thought, maybe Shelia dumped his ass! At least I hope so!

You raeg, you lose. Pantera.

Other: Aww yeah, I heart Tumblr

2011-04-29T22:52:00.000-04:00

I don't have an account with them, but I came across this one tonight:

It's Bonerific! (NSFW)

Dang. I mean, dang! Hot as hell! I need to find more of these sites!

Let's do some PM5K, shall we?

TruTV = FakeTV

2011-04-26T16:46:00.000-04:00

So not long ago, I upgraded to the full digital package offered by my cable company. One of the channels I found myself instantly hooked on was TruTV, the former CourtTV. A few years back, Time-Warner, owners of this network, decided that showing reality based shows would draw more eyeballs than long, drug out court cases. It makes sense. But not long after I started watching, something seemed amiss.

We start with "Operation Repo", a show about a repo company in Los Angeles & the things they go through to repo cars. It seemed so strange that each & every time they went to recover a vehicle, a fight broke out. Now I'm not a repo agent, but I know good & darn well most repo's are done peacefully, or without the debtor even knowing. Something stinks here. As a matter of fact, it's almost like the hispanic version of "Lizard Lick Towing", another "reality" show on TruTV, which highlights the misadventures of a repo company in North Carolina. Again, each episode features repo's gone wrong.

So what gives? Are both of these repo companies that BAD? Or....is it fake?

It's "Actuality", actually. Looky here! :

Q: Is truTV a reality network?
A: No. Our focus is on series that feature real-life situations. That is why we're using the theme "Not Reality. Actuality." for the network. The goal is to let people know that truTV programming is different from typical reality shows, which often involve contests or other highly staged events.

So there you go. Right from the horses's mouth. They even say it up front: "Not Reality, Actuality".

ALL of their reality shows are dramatic reenactments of real life events. The problem is, we, the viewing public, have no way of knowing this. THAT is my issue.

I was really excited when I first happened on this channel. Now I feel like a chump. No more TruTV for me!

Proof Lizard Lick Towing is fake:

Pop Culture: Folks don't like Gwyneth Paltrow because they're lazy and jealous

2011-04-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

Gwyneth Paltrow is out promoting her new cookbook this week, and before we get to the part where she explains why some people don’t like her, here are a few quotes from the book. Maybe there will be some hints in there:

“I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.

Who could forget? Oh, did you not spend your summers in Spain as a teenager? Oh what a pity. You really should have.

I grew up going to the island of Nantucket at the end of every summer.

The gazpacho was pedestrian, but the lobster more than made up for it.

We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden—a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

And of course you should only burn Rosewood imported from Brazil. For seafood dishes I like to burn wood salvaged from Spanish shipwrecks—a luxury, I know, but it really makes a difference.

So there’s nothing in her book that people could interpret to be elitist or condescending, so why does she think some people don’t like her.

(Here’s) her theory: folks are “pissed off” because she’s driven and unafraid of change, while they’re not.
“It’s easier to not change, not do something good for you, not work on your relationship, not make yourself a meal, not work out,” she tells PopEater. “Everything in my life that’s good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it.”

Well there you have it. If you’re not a millionaire like she is, it’s because you’re lazy. With a little effort they could have had parent's who are Hollywood Royalty and their godfather Steven Spielberg would have given them their first role. When Gwyneth Paltrow started acting, she had nothing but 10 million dollars, connections, and a dream. It really is an inspiring story.

Cunt.

L7. All old school should be like this.

Other: Tattoo's in the workplace

2011-04-13T00:01:00.001-04:00

Tonight while browsing Facebook, I came across a site: Tattoo acceptance in the workplace . Ok, so I don't have tats, but I don't begrudge anyone for getting them either. However, I am a firm believer in the concept of everything in life having a consequence, good or bad. This is a classic place to explore this belief of mine.

Enter lil miss Stephanie Marie Towne of Rhinelander, WI. She (was) a lifeguard at the local YMCA. Good job for your typical teenaged girl. Then she went and did this:

She's surprised she got fired. Her boss fired her for taking time off work to get this ink. Her comment:

"I work at a YMCA as a lifeguard and I also do swim lessons...but now I can't do swim lessons anymore because my boss got mad that I took off of work to get my tattoo. Talk about discrimination."

Ok dear heart, it's teachable moment time, so listen up.

YOU'RE A LIFEGUARD AT THE FUCKING YMCA. AT LEAST, YOU WERE. BUT YOU DECIDED THAT SCARRING YOUR BODY WAS MORE IMPORTANT. THAT'LL LOOK SO HOT ON YOU AT AGE 60. YOU PEOPLE IN WISCONSIN REALLY ARE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID.

People, if you want ink, knock yourselves out. But understand, right or wrong, you will be judged. This poor girl will now be judged as someone who enjoys facials, trains & bukkake. Enjoy! :)

StoneSour.

Politics: So we have a budget. Sorta of.

2011-04-09T10:30:00.001-04:00

After days of wrangling and arm twisting, Congress was able to put together a temporary budget measure that keeps the US Government running through September of this year, along with a temporary provision to fund the government while the deal is written into law.

A "whopping" $38.5b in spending was cut from this budget. Nowhere near the number needed to make any meaningful impact on the deficit, but who gives a shit about that? It's all merely symbolism. I mean, I was really hoping the gov't would have closed. All those hundreds of thousands of gov't employees, laid off! Music to my ears!

While this data is just over a year old, it shows that government employees out earn private sector employees in most employment categories. And let's be real: they have a history, nay, a tradition for being lazy, incompetent & otherwise useless individuals. Their pay has increased at levels that would put corporate America to shame! In this time of huge deficits, not only do we need federal employees to make less, we need less of them!

Back to the budget: The Republicans did want a lot more cut in order to reach a budget deal. People like Rand Paul and Paul Ryan have the right idea....the cuts need to be HUGE in size & scope. ALL departments within the Federal Government need cuts, and some need to be outright eliminated, like the Department of Education and the Department of Commerce (sorry, pop ups on that last link).

Seriously folks, deep, serious cuts need to be made, and made now. Who's willing to do the right thing? It doesn't seem that Congress or Obama are.

Politics: You got Barack Roll'd!

2011-04-08T22:48:00.001-04:00

Bitches!

Awesome!

Politics: You got Barack Roll'd!

2011-04-08T22:46:00.000-04:00

Bitches!

Awesome!

Family: Nothing radical today......

2011-04-08T11:18:00.001-04:00

Except that later this afternoon, I'll be a uncle, once again! THAT'S RIGHT FUCKERS! I'LL BE AN UNCLE AGAIN! So feel free to laud me with congratulatory phrases, etc. I'll post more about it when I know more about it. That is all.

Thanks for the views & other nice stuff. Tell your friends & I'll share the love in kind.

Funny fake commercial tiem:

Politics: Sweet Shutdown!

2011-04-07T23:13:00.002-04:00

Can you smell it? It's in the air....Yes! That beautiful aroma! It smells like...the Government has shut down, I mean, victory!

America has always worked best when government gets out of the way. So tomorrow, as we see some whine doom & gloom, we should rejoice! For one thing, we'll see those who truly are a drag on the system, aka, unessential gov't employees, get the (temporary) boot. Yes, it's symbolic, as they'll receive retroactive pay for the days they didn't work (how would you like THAT perk?), but it may open up some people's eyes.''

And it should be noted that the FAILURE to pass a budget rests at the feet of the Democrats who failed to DO THEIR JOB and pass a budget back in 2010. And now they want to blame the GOP? That's rich!

Can haz movie tiem: Trump pwns Viera on "birther", spending issues

Also: Owwie! Who is an "essential workers"?

My very first post!

2011-04-06T23:50:00.000-04:00

Yay me. I'm on the blogosphere! Wow, how fucking anti-climactic!

The whole point of this endeavor is to thrill and amaze you with my rapier-like wit and insight into the everyday, the mundane, the freaking awesome. Someone has to do it, so it may as well be me. When I first said to myself, "fuck it, I'm gonna blog", I had all kids of neat ideas & topics that I was going to comment on. Now my mind is blank. Fucking awesome.

For someone like me who has no web-based publishing experience, setting this blog thing up was rather daunting. There is not a logical "flow" or order to it. I'm convinced that those companies that rule & dominate the intertubes make things confusing (sorta) because they can. It's a slightly perverse thrill they get, or so I tell myself.

I'm not a professional writer. I will mis spell words, and I will commit egregious crimes against the English language, such as comma splices & incorrect usage of participles. I have things to say and if you cannot discern them, then fuck off, k? Goatse

So sit back, or stand up (I don't care), and witness literary....something, unfold. Oh, and visit the sponsors. They keep all of this free.