Sooz at the Movies

Feature : My Academy Award Predictions 2012

2012-01-25T17:34:00.000+00:00

It's Oscar time! And that means I have to make meaningless predictions for a meaningless awards ceremony. I've decided to only bother predicting the main categories for once because when I try to predict best documentary short and best sound design it just gets embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as Olivia Colman and Tilda Swinton's snubs though, right? Right? HEY-YO!

Best Picture

Warhorse / The Artist / The Descendants / Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close / Hugo / Midnight In Paris / The Help / Moneyball / The Tree of Life

Like so many Best Picture years gone by, there is only one winner. The Artist, 85 years after the birth of the talkies, would be a very deserving winner and a swift two-fingers at David Cameron who thinks British cinema should all be mainstream (not that The Artist is British...but...you know). A black and white silent love story should have merely been a curiosity but it's pure magic and as a result is not simply a matter of "don't believe the hype".

I'm still not a fan of the large amount of films which now can be nominated. 5 would certainly have been enough this year as the inclusions of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and the distinctly average Midnight In Paris were completely unnecessary. And if you're going to have 9 films nominated why on earth isn't one of them We Need To Talk About Kevin?

Best Director

Woody Allen (Midnight In Paris) / Martin Scorsese (Hugo) / Michael Hazanavicius (The Artist) / Terrence Malick (Tree of Life) / Alexander Payne (The Descendants)

With just a handful of films in his 40 year career, Terrence Malick cannot be accused of chasing the awards. Though Michael Hazanavicius, Alexander Payne and Scorsese are all very strong contenders in this pretty hot category I have a feeling this could be Malick's year for a film which I didn't find remotely pretentious. Maybe that says more about me than the film...

As for snubs, not including Lynne Ramsey for We Need To Talk About Kevin seems a massive oversight. And where is Steve McQueen, who gave a minimalist directing masterclass in Shame? Woody Allen certainly didn't need yet another nomination when his effort this year was not exactly Annie Hall.

Best Supporting Actor

Kenneth Branagh (My Week With Marilyn) / Max Von Sydow (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) / Jonah Hill (Moneyball) / Christopher Plummer (Beginners) / Nick Nolte (Warrior)

He's probably actually the least likely to win in this strong category but Jonah Hill's performance in Moneyball was so strong and such a break-out that I'd love to see him win. I'm essentially taking a bullet when the excellent Christopher Plummer will probably win.

Best Supporting Actress

Bernice Bejo (The Artist) / Jessica Chastain (The Help) / Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) / Janet Mcteer (Albert Nobbs) / Octavia Spencer (The Help)

I was dead chuffed to see Melissa McCarthy get a nod for her brilliant performance in Bridesmaids. It's just a shame that in a film with such a strong ensemble only one of those ladies got nominated. The winner has to be Octavia Spencer. One question though...in The Help, a film full of excellent performances, where is Bryce Dallas Howard's nomination? For me she was the strongest of a very strong bunch.

Best Actor

Brad Pitt (Moneyball) / George Clooney (The Descendants) / Demien Bichir (A Better Life) / Jean Dujardin (The Artist) / Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)

This is probably a one horse race but Jean Dujardin could provide an 'upset' (if you can call it that). Just as last year was finally Firth's year, this year is finally Clooney's.

But where is Michael Fassbender? For my money he would have given Clooney a real run for his money for his performance in Shame.

Best Actress

Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady) / Glenn Close (Albert Nobbs) / Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) / Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn) / Viola Davies (The Help)

Yawn, it's Meryl's year. This category verges on the ridiculous. All the women nominated give fine performances but none as fine as Carey Mulligan in Shame, Tilda Swinton in We Need To Talk About Kevin and Olivia Colman in Tyrannosaur (who gave the best performance of 2011 and probably of the next 5 years too).

Best Original Screenplay

The Artist / Bridesmaids / Margin Call / Midnight In Paris / A Separation

I am yet to see A Separation so maybe I should just keep my big mouth shut but no-one reads this so I'll say what I like. The Artist would be a worthy winner but Bridesmaids is my favourite screenplay here. If Midnight In Paris, a film which points out Ernest Hemingway by saying, "oh look, it's Ernest Hemingway", wins I'll kick a door.

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Descendants / Hugo / The Ides of March / Moneyball / Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

A very strong category indeed. The Descendants was excellent but any of these films would be worthy winners. Again, no nod for We Need To Talk About Kevin leaves me scratching my itchy, itchy head.

A follow up post with how many of these predictions were correct will follow. Last year it was 25%, a score that would be terrible if we'd had a 5 year old predicting the Oscars outcome.

Review : 'Shame' (2011)

2012-01-25T16:24:00.000+00:00

Buying a single ticket to see Shame on a Monday afternoon made me feel like quite the pervert as all I'd been told about the film was that it had garnered excellent reviews and that Michael Fassbender was packing heat. Let's start at the beginning. Fassbender certainly is packing heat. And now that that's out of the way, here is my review of Shame.

The film is rated 18 due to extremely explicit sex scenes. However, I haven't seen a film this sex-filled and yet so unerotic since I sat through Killer Bitch. We meet Brandon (Fassbender) as he goes through his daily routine in his immaculate flat. His eyes meet a pretty redhead's on the subway and at first she is turned on, then gradually repulsed. She gets off the subway train and Brandon gives chase, eventually losing her. If this were a different film this scene would be accompanied with plink-plonk-laugh-laugh music and the red-head would be played by Emma Stone, eventually being his salvation. Shame isn't that film though. Brandon's endless search for la petite mort means he can fall in love with any number of women in a day for just a few minutes. His life is a series of encounters with random women, with prostitutes and with pornography.

When he returns to his clinical apartment one evening he finds Sissy (Carey Mulligan), his wayward sister. He walks in on her in the shower and they both scream. But she doesn't cover herself up. When he passes her a towel she just dries her face and makes no attempt to cover her nudity. It's a scene which is just right of centre...all the dialogue makes sense but something just isn't right. Sissy wants to move in while she chases her singing career all the same. She is clearly as troubled as her brother - early on we hear her literally begging a presumably former lover to see her over the phone and there are criss-crossing self-harm scars on her arms.

She turns out to be a bewitching singer, performing a stripped-back, melancholy version of New York New York in a nightclub. While Brandon's ridiculous boss David (James Badge Dale) whoops and cheers at Sissy's performance Brandon shows a sad pride. He is certainly proud of her but his agony is palpable. Director Steve McQueen's use of long, unbroken shots force you to confront the characters, often in extreme close-ups. Later, when David and Sissy loudly have sex in Brandon's bedroom he shows extreme discomfort but says nothing as he paces his living room then goes out running.

Why are these siblings so troubled? A terrible childhood is hinted at numerous times. At one point Sissy tells Brandon, "we're not bad people, we just come from a bad place". The 'place' in question is never revealed and recovery of either of the characters isn't promised either. When Brandon begins to fall for a work colleague he finds he cannot have sex with her despite her deliberately being played by an actress more vivacious and beautiful than any of the women we've seen him with before. The depths he eventually sinks too are quite disturbing. His nihilism appears to know no bounds.

There were elements of other film characters in Brandon. I couldn't help but see a little American Psycho's Patrick Bateman. There was also a fair amount of Travis Bickle. Brandon often does what he thinks he ought to do in an effort to blend in with everyone else. When he begins to fall for Marianne at his office he violently and obsessively clears his flat of all sexual material. He even bins his laptop when just deleting files would be enough - he sees it as cleansing himself.

Shame is an intelligent film that left me with many questions and stayed with me for days after I saw it. Deliberately ambiguous, it is beautifully written, acted and directed. Fassbender and Mulligan are incredible in very difficult roles. Apart from in a tense argument filmed in one shot near the film's close where Mulligan's accent goes a little English they are faultless in their depictions of Sissy and Brandon. We can only guess where these characters will end up but I certainly cared enough to hope for them.

Review : 'Brazil' (1985)

2011-04-19T17:33:00.000+01:00

When George Orwell set a novel (the name of which escapes me now) in 1984 he created a terrifying dystopia, a world full of drones, devoid of freedom. A year after the events of Nineteen-Eighty-Four (remembered the title, look at that) came Terry Gilliam's Brazil. Described by many as "1984 meets Monty Python", on many "Films To See Before You're Dead" lists and holding a 98% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes (important), Brazil is firmly in my top 10 list and I firmly believe it will change the way you look at cinema. It certainly did for me when I was 17.

Instead of Winston Smith we now have the cleverly-named Sam Lowry (how's that for an evocative name?), a meek government official who dreams of life as a superhero, rescuing a beautiful caged goddess. His boring routine in a world crippled by paperwork is turned upside down when a clerical error occurs, the wrong man is accidentally killed and a returned cheque results in Sam meeting his dream woman (she doesn't reciprocate) and going on one hell of a ride. The film runs at over 2 hours and the pace is incredible. It's exhausting.

Calling Brazil "1984 meets Monty Python" is both fair and unfair. The Monty Python part is certainly true. Terry Gilliam writes (with Tom Stoppard and Charles McKeown) and directs and Michael Palin plays Sam's 'friend' Jack. The film is extremely funny. Parts of it are screwball comedy, there's satire and at time's it's pure farce. It's also incredibly bleak, as bleak as anything in 1984. This is by no means simply Orwell with laughs. Brazil raises issues on the media and government's handling of terrorism ("How many terrorists have you met? Actual terrorists?" questions Sam's dream-woman as he spouts about the need for war) which, 26 years later, are possibly even more relevant than they were originally.

The claustrophobic visuals of the film are testament to Gilliam. The unnamed city in Brazil (taking its title from the song of the same name, arrangements of which serve as the brilliant, quirky score) is one where you hardly see the sky. The fantastical imagery used in the numerous dream sequences acts as stunning juxtaposition to the rabbit-warren office blocks, government buildings and cell-like apartment complexes. The look of the film owes something to Fritz Lang's Metropolis for sure. The incredible finale, beginning with Sam being interrogated by Jack, was shot in the inside of a power station's cooling tower but you'd never know it. It looks vast and alien.You'd be forgiven for thinking it was a wildly expensive set. Gilliam's inventiveness with visuals is as impressive as the inventiveness of the dialogue, by turns hilarious and jarring.

The use of Jonathan Pryce, a prolific stage actor, as the protagonist is inspired. His slightly theatrical performance is perfectly pitched in such a bizarre film. The scenes he shares with Robert De Niro, playing a renegade repairman (and showing that he truly can do anything as he successfully attempts 'kooky') are some of some of the high points. Stealing just about every scene she appears in is Katherine Helmond as Sam's plastic surgery-obsessed mother who is determined for Sam to take a promotion using her contacts. Kim Greist as Jill, Sam's dream-girl, manages to be radiant in the dream sequences yet is all gritty attitude when he meets her for real. He loves her all the same of course. Michael Palin has never been more unrecognisably sinister. The rest of the supporting cast is like a who's-who list of great British actors, it's an impeccably cast film.

To give away the ending would be a disgrace but let's just say if you're not left breathless by the time those Brazillian drums kick in, you're barely human.

Review : 'Boogie Nights' (1997)

2011-03-09T11:53:00.000+00:00

“Dirk Diggler’s penis looked like it was made out of clay”, said my very good friend Mike when I lent him Boogie Nights, recorded on to a 180 minute VHS (in long play for added value) from Sky Premiere (channel 301 on Sky Digital) back in 1999. I saw Boogie Nights in the same month I also saw Goodfellas for the first time, the latter instantly becoming my very favourite film and remaining there to this very day. The parallels between the 2 films are plentiful, with many scenes from Scorsese’s gangster opus paid loving homage to.

The story of a young, strangely innocent young man with a large, dynamic appendage and his rise and fall (baha) in the porn industry shouldn’t be as likeable, funny, moving and human as it is, but somehow it manages to make me laugh and cry. Part of this is Paul Thomas Anderson’s incredibly witty screenplay, full of intelligent, believable dialogue and beautifully drawn characters. A few characters only feature in a handful of scenes yet are as 3-dimensional as many leads. The most notable of these almost-cameo roles is William H Macy as the downtrodden husband of a guilt-free promiscuous porn actress. In 3 short scenes we practically see his entire life. Paul Thomas Anderson directs with aplomb, the 2 and a half hour run time never dragging. The ambitiously big story, spanning nearly 10 years and covering the intertwining tales of over 10 main characters, moves with real pace. The stand-out sequence has a pulsing-beat relentlessly playing in the background as 3 separate stories play out while the characters all hit rock bottom.

Boogie Nights' success as a film though would not exist without its incredible cast. A finer ensemble would be hard to find, with each character delicately and realistically played. For example, how easy it would have been for Don Cheadle’s ‘cowboy’ porn star to have been a hilarious cartoon. However, he plays the part believably, managing to be as endearing as he is ridiculous.

Mark Wahlberg, as Dirk Diggler, the young bar-worker-turned-porn-mega-star, is very impressive. He has the easy, naive charm required of the character aged 17 and then the brattish, drug-addled ego-mania behaviour needed several years later. Dirk is unknowingly very funny and Wahlberg never plays lines for laughs, always completely natural, even when delivering 70s porn dialogue in the not-quite-parody porn scenes. Most impressive of all, in the film's climax (har har), the camera lingers on his face for over a minute in a single shot and, barely moving a muscle, Wahlberg ups the tension 10 fold. It has to be seen to be believed. John C Reilly and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are brilliant as Dirk’s best friends. Heather Graham, as young high-school dropout porn star Rollergirl (“I never take my skates off”) has never been better on screen. She is in many ways Dirk’s female equivalent. Julianne Moore in a somewhat matriarchal role, acting as a sort of mother to Dirk and Rollergirl as she performs alongside them, is heartbreaking. A mess, addicted to cocaine and estranged from her young children, you really get the sense that she wants to be a better person.

The real star of this show though is Burt Reynolds in what was heralded as one of the greatest comebacks since Elvis. Rightly Oscar-nominated, as the porn-director who discovers Dirk, he is subtle brilliance. Quietly creating an air of authority and dignity over what easily could have been grubby proceedings, he gives the film part of its real heart together with Wahlberg. The final scene between the two of them is documentary-real, genuinely one of the most moving moments in modern cinema.

Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia, another ensemble drama, is often cited as his masterpiece but I much prefer Boogie Nights. With its stellar cast, stunning script and fearlessly feel-good ending it is certainly one of the best films of 90s.

Review : 'Duck Soup' (1933)

2011-03-03T18:03:00.000+00:00

Yes that's right, I don't just watch new films, sometimes I watch old films. Really old films. In black and white. And not Clerks or Raging Bull black and white, proper black and white, like, when it was the norm and stuff!

Duck Soup is widely regarded as the Marx Brothers at their best [citation needed waaaaaaah] and I agree. As a kid my favourite was A Day At The Races because it had horses in it (and I am a racist), but as an adult I can see how Duck Soup is one of the greatest comedies of all time and is more than a little biting (something I missed aged 8).

The loose plot gives the brothers many excuses to be generally hilarious and anarchic, but basically Groucho is the leader of a land and for no particularly good reason (is there ever one? Oo, political) goes to war with another land. The war scenes in particular are stunning in their satire. It is often thrown around that an elderly film or play has "barely dated", but much of Duck Soup could genuinely have been made yesterday. Its most famous sequence (the classic mirror scene) strangely enough is one of the only scenes where you remember the film is pushing 80 years old. Bizarre moments where Groucho, without any character referring to it, is wearing a different costume in every shot while war rages and random stock footage of dolphins, bison etc are inserted could be straight out of The Mighty Boosh.

The fact that this is one of the only Marx Brothers films not to feature a piano solo from Chico (always a highlight of their films for me) or a harp solo from Harpo does nothing to dampen its appeal. The pace is frenetic, the comedy managing to be both intelligent and completely accessible. Released to a lukewarm reception originally (at the height of the Great Depression), there's good reason why Duck Soup is now heralded as one of the greatest comedy films of all time. Released several years before Chaplin's The Great Dictator and several decades before Dr Strangelove (a film that up until 2002 I was calling Dr Strangeglove out of ignorance), it truly is one of the first great satires.

I don't need to quote the film in this review, you just need to go out and see it. If there's a better American comedy film in the future I'll eat my Groucho disguise.

Review : 'Sex and the City 2' (2010)

2011-02-25T11:33:00.001+00:00

I loved watching Sex and the City as a young adult. I watched Carrie and the gang Jimmy Choo their way through almost 100 episodes of love, friendship and sex and then I watched the first film and felt the love, friendship and (less) sex all over again. These over-privileged women somehow manage to feel just like us, right?

Rest assured that I went in to Sex and the City 2 slightly unsure of where else the story could possibly go following the perfect Hollywood ending of the first, but a fan of the series nonetheless.

Sex and the City 2 was the worst film I saw in 2010 and may be one of the most obnoxious, offensive, unlikeable films I've ever seen. Gay? Muslim? Female? Male? Vaguely human? Prepare to be personally offended.

Poor Carrie Bradshaw. She married the man she was always meant to be with at the end of the first film and they moved to their wonderful perfect apartment (Mr Big is obviously head of Skynet to be able to afford it, but whatever). 2 years on and UGH he is so annoying! Isn't he Carrie! He just, like, eats Chinese food NOT OFF A PLATE and sits around and it's almost as if he's COMFORTABLE in his 12 YEAR RELATIONSHIP and doesn't feel like he CONSTANTLY HAS TO BE ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOUR. A low point is reached when Big buys Carrie (get this, the pig) a giant flatscreen TV. ARSEHOLE! Carrie, anguished, can't believe he hasn't bought her a piece of jewellery and just, like, can't take it any more. So she goes to take some time out. Does she go to a friend's house? Or just hang out in a cafe? Or go and stay with her parents? No. Not our Carrie. She goes to her old apartment. Yes, that's right, Carrie and Mr Big have their gigantic 5th Avenue palace AND Carrie's hip old apartment.

Meanwhile, Miranda finds that being a lawyer sucks. So she quits. Just like that. How will your family afford stuff like your mortgage and food and running a car and no doubt sending your child to private school and Magda's wages, Miranda? Oh, no need to worry about that? OK cool, thanks.

Charlotte has big problems. She doesn't work and has a full-time nanny for her 2 children. But the nanny couldn't stop one child getting a bit of food on her couture. CHARLOTTE YOU POOR BITCH! And as if that wasn't painful enough, the nanny is REALLY HOT!

Samantha is taking dog hormones or something in order to "trick my body in to feeling younger" and ward off the menopause. Miranda quips that she's tricking her body in to feeling thinner. OH HA HA HA HA HA coz all the Sex and the City girls aren't a SIZE 8!

The less said about the opening....skit?....involving a portrayal of a gay wedding as the sort of sketch that Kenny Everett would go, "no-one will buy this, it's a bit OTT" at, the better.

The girls all fly off to Abu Dhabi to get away from all the hardship in their lives and get to stay in suites that cost thousands of dollars a night, complete with manservant. Carrie's is PROPER BRITISH RESPECTED ACTOR Raza Jafri in a role which sees him as a man who only gets to see his wife every few months due to his low pay. Carrie then sees how spoilt she's been and feels terrible, realising that with all her wealth, nice husband and comfortable career she should be grateful and has a complete turnaround. OR does she just think "me and that Asian are both separated from our spouses *sigh* we're, like, the same"? Bingo.

Throw in a scene where Samantha shows how liberated she is by screaming "YES I HAVE SEX!" at some Muslims in the street who have dared to look at her because she ripped off her clothes and dropped condoms all over the floor (yes, really) and you have a repugnant waste of 2 and a half hours of my life. Here are some things I could have done in that time : had a singing lesson followed by some lunch....gone for a run and then taken some clothes and books down to a charity shop....written a couple of songs, recorded them and then uploaded them to YouTube...cut myself multiple times....written 10,000 more words on why Sex and the City 2 is a terrible, terrible film.

This is a sequel that remembered to put the original stars in the film, remembered to put them in an exotic location and then forgot to give them any heart whatsoever. This story cannot survive on us going "ooo nice shoes Samantha!", we have to like these people. Not only didn't I like them, I didn't recognise them. And the story does NOTHING! There is NO plot development. Awful awful awful.

Oh, and their empowering rendition of I Am Woman in a karaoke bar made me projectile vomit and my projectile vomit burned through the screen and it looked like the end of Inglourious Basterds.

Review : 'The Human Centipede' (2010)

2011-02-21T23:53:00.002+00:00

Did you see Hostel or Saw and go, "imagine if a film was MORE horrific and cruel than this, you'd implode as a viewer!"? When I saw the trailer for The Human Centipede I was deeply disturbed. I read reviews that proclaimed it to be 'sickening', 'harrowing' and 'the most disturbing thing you'll ever see'. What is seen cannot be unseen, I knew that from Audition, which stayed with me for several hours afterwards and which I wouldn't be keen to see again. I viewed the trailer and thought, "oh god, how terrifying". I was creeped out by the (very clever) poster (see first image). The more I imagined about The Human Centipede the worse I felt and after a few horrible dreams there was nothing else for it...I had to see the film for myself.

What followed showed me that if the premise for a film is so horrendous, torturous and truly a fate worse than death, the end result is a tame affair. What my imagination presented was 20 times worse than anything in The Human Centipede. I think sometimes a premise is just too stupid to truly offend.

With a standard horror opening (2 hotties break down on a rainy night and end up getting 'help' at the house of the only psycho in town), the film then goes a way which is at least original. It's certainly a bold story but cannot be stretched to its 91 minute running time. The psycho the girls have stumbled on is a crazed surgeon who "hates human beings" and after 4 minutes in his company I was sure that director Tom Six had made The Human Centipede with a twinkle in his eye (he proclaims the film to be "100% medically accurate" which either makes him a funny prankster filmmaker or a needs-to-be-locked-up mad man). The film is high-camp and anyone who views it as a genuinely terrifying horror is missing the point. The doctor intends to stitch the girls plus a loud Japanese man together, mouth-to-anus to create a single digestive system. Stupid, yes?

Following a laughable escape attempt and the operation itself (surprisingly lacking in any gore...this film doesn't present us with much blood and no poo) there isn't much for the human centipede to do. The doctor makes it walk around on all fours a bit which looks really creepy for about 10 seconds and eventually the front of the centipede defecates in to the mouth of the girl behind, who reacts by unrealistically looking horrified, rather than pulling away really hard, ripping her stitches before vomiting uncontrollably. I think if someone did a poo in my mouth I'd be sick immediately. Hopefully I'll never have to find out if all I'd do would be to look horrified. This scene is the infamous scene in the film and by that time you're just kind of bored. The doctor is by far the most interesting thing on screen and even his self-consciously schlock-horror performance has grown repetitive by the hour mark.

The final act sees the centipede attempt to escape while 2 cops who make Police Squad look like NYPD Blue search the house. The ending is described by a couple of people I know as one of the bleakest things they've ever seen. I don't want to spoil the final image but...it isn't any bleaker than what it's preceded by. In fact I'd say it's a very low-key, who-cares ending compared to the film's initial promise of shock and terror. Also, again without giving anything away, how the final image comes about is extremely contrived and made me do a smug little eye-roll.

I'm not saying The Human Centipede has failed. As a yukky, original black comedy chiller, a sort of pastiche on the torture porn made popular by Eli Roth et al it succeeds (if a little dull in the middle hour). And for a film called The Human Centipede you never care particularly for any of the humans involved. A few moments where the centipede is left alone and they wordlessly grasp each other's hands are semi-affecting, but never enough to make you take the film seriously. It does however look fantastic. It's very well shot and the stark lines of the house setting make for a distinctive look. How much of this is an accident and how much is down to Six's skill as a director remains to be seen. Time will tell...The Human Centipede II - Full Sequence is out later this year, promising to be 100% medically inaccurate. I, for one, can't wait (to view it for free, ain't paying for this shit).

All in all a bizarre little film that's merits are not in its shocking, disturbing imagery but more in the way that at least an original film that is having a little wink at the audience (no pun intended...ha ha, anus) has been made and recognised. As a piece of horror it doesn't succeed. As a serious chiller it doesn't succeed. But as a high-camp, tongue-in-cheek (PUN!), oddity it does succeed. It has more in common with The Rocky Horror Picture Show than with Audition or Hostel.

Feature : My Academy Award Predictions

2011-02-18T20:23:00.000+00:00

Oscar-time! In just over a week the 83rd Academy Awards will be handed out. Even though I shouldn't put too much stock in an awards ceremony that at one time nominated The Towering Inferno as one of the 5 best films of 1974 (shockingly it was beaten by The Godfather Part II) and declared Rocky to be a better film than Taxi Driver, I like to predict winners each year. I especially enjoy guessing who will win things like Best Animated Short when I haven't seen one entrant.

I wonder how many I'll get right in 2011 (I shall bold my prediction)....

Best Picture

127 Hours / Black Swan / The Fighter / Inception / The Kids Are All Right / The King's Speech / The Social Network / Toy Story 3 / True Grit / Winter's Bone

It's too obvious, this is a no brainer (cut to February 27th when I retract that statement).

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan) / The Coens (True Grit) / David Fincher (The Social Network) / Tom Hooper (The King's Speech) / David O. Russell (The Fighter)

Would really like to see Fincher get this. I was one of 4 people who adored Benjamin Button.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem (Biutiful) / Jeff Bridges (True Grit) / Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network) / Colin Firth (The King's Speech) / James Franco (127 Hours)

Yawn, so obvious. Firth probably deserves it, especially seeing as he and Julianne Moore were the only redeeming features of the disgusting overrated A Single Man last year...but I want to see Franco get the gong. Also, where's Wahlberg's nom for The Fighter? He was brilliant.

Best Actress

Annette Bening (The Kids Are All Right) / Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole) / Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone) / Natalie Portman (Black Swan) / Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

I was really rooting for Nat until I saw the trailer for No Strings Attached. Now I'd rather see Michelle Williams get the award.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale (The Fighter) / John Hawkes (Winter's Bone) / Jeremy Renner (The Town) / Mark Ruffalo (The Kids Are All Right) / Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)

If Bale doesn't win I think he should scream, "WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND!?" during Geoffrey Rush's speech (surely this is a two-horse race?).

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams (The Fighter) / Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech) / Melissa Leo (The Fighter) / Hailee Steinfield (True Grit) / Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

I haven't seen Animal Kingdom, I don't know who Jacki Weaver is and I have no idea what it's even about. So I'm taking her out of the equation for that reason. I think HBC will win but I think Leo deserves it.

Best Original Screenplay

Mike Leigh (Another Year) / Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson (The Fighter) / Christopher Nolan (Inception) / The Kids Are All Right (Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg) / The King's Speech (David Seidler)

Well done The King's Speech. Just a question...does Mike Leigh deserve an Oscar nomination for his writing when his films are largely improvised? Or am I just being ignorant?

Best Adapted Screenplay

Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy (127 Hours) / Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network) / Loooooooooong list (Toy Story 3) / The Coens (True Grit) / Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini (Winter's Bone)

Even though Sorkin probably has enough West Wing awards I do think The Social Network was an astonishing screenplay.

Best Animated Feature

How to Train Your Dragon / The Illusionist / Toy Story 3

This one is beyond obvious (although if The King's Speech was nominated in this category it'd probably pip Toy Story 3 to the post) but I'm giving a shout-out to How to Train Your Dragon which I'd have loved as a kid. And adult.

Best Foreign Language Film

Biutiful / Dogtooth / In A Better World / Incendies / Outside The Law

Time for the guess work to begin! I'm opting for Biutiful because I've heard of it.

Best Documentary Feature

Exit Through The Gift Shop / Gasland / Inside Job / Restrepo / Waste Land

I'm leaning towards Exit Through The Gift Shop. Because it's the only one I've seen. Are any of the others any good? Worth a watch? Yes? No?

Best Documentary Short

Killing in the Name / Poster Girl / Strangers No More / Sun Come Up / The Warriors of Qiugang

Well, let me see. Killing in the Name sounds all brutal and gritty, but Strangers No More is romantic and girly sounding. The Warriors of Qiugang has a cool name. Winner.

Best Live Action Short

The Confession / The Crush / God of Love / Na Wewe / Wish 143

Oh come on, has anyone seen any of these? I bet the Academy hasn't bothered. But my vote is going to Wish 143 as it was a significant improvement on Wish 141 and 142. Snigger.

Best Animated Short

Day & Night / The Gruffalo / Let's Pollute / The Lost Thing / Madagascar, a Journey Diary

Let's Pollute sounds fun and really un-PC. Oh I don't bloody know, let's go for The Gruffalo. I like the book. Well, I don't like it, but I have heard of it.

Best Original Score

A.R Rahman (127 Hours) / John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon) / Hans Zimmer (Inception) / Alexandre Desplat (The King's Speech) / Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross (The Social Network)

I really dug The Social Network's score but The King's Speech is nominated...so.

Best Original Song

"Coming Home" (Country Strong) / "I See The Light" (Tangled) / "If I Rise" (127 Hours) / "We Belong Together" (Toy Story 3)

I hate this category and after listening to all 4 songs (it's easier than watching all nominated films, that's for sure) the only song I didn't hate was the 127 Hours one. Man, Country Strong was an appalling film wasn't it?

Best Sound Editing

Inception / Toy Story 3 / Tron : Legacy / True Grit / Unstoppable

What is Unstoppable? Why haven't I heard of it? I'm getting bored now. My bet's going on Tron : Legacy as I like the idea of anything with Tron in the title winning an Oscar. Scorsese has an Oscar. Tron will have an Oscar. Scorsese and Tron will be the same. Also, I don't want Inception to win anything because I didn't like it.

Best Sound Mixing

Inception / The King's Speech / Salt / The Social Network / True Grit

I have never heard of this category before now so it shows how much attention I've paid. How do they even judge who to nominate, let alone who wins? I'm half-death so I don't really care. The King's Speech is nominated, you know the rest.

Best Art Direction

Alice in Wonderland / Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 / Inception / The King's Speech / True Grit

Ugh, Inception. Oh, The King's Speech.

Best Cinematography

Black Swan / Inception / The King's Speech / The Social Network / True Grit

Have you noticed I can't be bothered to enter the names of the people nominated anymore? Just the film title will do. Finally, a category I can make an 'educated' decision on. Because of my film 'education'.

Best Make-Up

Barney's Version / The Way Back / The Wolfman

Hel-lo! The Wolfman! It had to make a wolf out of a man! Probably. I vote Barney's Version because it's the closest Paul Giamatti will get to an Oscar he richly deserves.

Best Costume Design

Alice In Wonderland / I Am Love / The King's Speech / The Tempest / True Grit

What the hell is I Am Love?

Best Film Editing

127 Hours / Black Swan / The Fighter / The King's Speech / The Social Network

I think these are all worthy winners and I'd lean towards 127 Hours if it was my decision (which it blatantly should be). But let's face it....it's a board-sweep for The King's Speech. Big deal, the king of England beat stammering...James Franco nearly died in a canyon!

Best Visual Effects

Alice in Wonderland / Harry Potter Part 900 / Hereafter / Inception / Iron Man 2

HA HA, Tron is so terrible it couldn't even get nominated for its visual effects (are we supposed to believe its Sound Editing is better than its Visual Effects?)! Oh...Harry Potter, whatever. I'm sorry I even started this post. I'm ignorant of 90% of what's nominated and I won't stay up and watch it anyway. I only did once in 2005, when A Series of Unfortunate Events won Best Make-Up (I remember it because it turned out to be one of my only correct predictions that year). When I stayed up all night in 2005 it was at a friend's house and his senile old Siamese cat went to sleep in my lap all night. The cat was called Batman.

How many will you get right?

Review : '127 Hours' (2011)

2011-02-18T16:51:00.000+00:00

You'd have to have been living down a canyon (hur hur hur) to not know that Danny Boyle's 127 Hours' climax involves James Franco amputating his own arm. Don't let that put you off though. I loved this largely one-man show based on adrenaline-junkie Aron Ralston's book chronicling the 5-and-a-bit days he spent trapped in a canyon, a bolder crushing his right forearm.

We are invited in to Aron's world with fast-paced camera-work, reminiscent of extreme sports videos, as he goes off for a daring weekend in Utah's Canyonland National Park (thanks Wikipedia, you always tell the truth) accompanied with only basic equipment, his camera, not-enough-water and a cheap pocket pen-knife. Most importantly of all he hasn't let anyone know where he's going. Oh Aron, you silly arse. Having hung out with 2 sexy fellow hikers for a couple of hours I knew we were getting close to seeing his fall and the beginning of his nightmare. Here are some of my top fears : heights and falling from them, being trapped, being unable to get hold of anyone when trapped...you get the picture. 127 Hours taps in to many strongly held fears that ordinary people have (not weird people like Mr Sooz who immediately said "I want to go there!" when the credits began to roll) and despite the fact that 80% of the film is spent trapped in the canyon with Aron, the story fair rollicks along (yeah, that's right, it rollicks). It's exhilarating with a plot that has as many twists and moments of jeopardy as a Bourne movie.

I've been a fan of James Franco since seeing him in Freaks and Geeks many years ago. The guy is good looking enough to get by on that alone but is also one of the best young actors around. Whilst Danny Boyle has presented us with a dazzling display of movie-making, the film would be nothing without Franco's tour-de-force, finally allowing him to make his mark as a mainstream leading man and rightfully netting him an Oscar nom. Franco's Ralston is charming, funny, cocky and headstrong and later incredibly vulnerable. Whether he's screaming for help, hallucinating about thirst-quenching thunderstorms or hacking in to his arm with a pound-shop pocket-knife, he is scarily real. All the fantastic film-making in the world wouldn't matter a jot if we didn't like Aron - and we do. I cried girly tears at the end and as I glanced across to the iceberg that is Mr Sooz I noticed he looked half-moved too. He's a sucker for handsome, adventurous men so I'm sure Franco has been in a few of his fantasies since our cinema trip (I don't mind, he needs an outlet).

The relentless pace of Aron's final few hours in the canyon are exhausting and when he finally removes his arm it's not so much disgusting as it is a relief. The worst moments for me were when he was growing more and more dehydrated. Just sitting in the cinema I started longing for an icy cup of Coke (caffeine-free obviously, coz I'm so allergic), such was the power of Boyle's imagery and Franco's parched performance and appearance.

I'd expected 127 Hours to be visceral and frightening but I hadn't expected it to be so human and moving, strange as I knew it to be focused on one man. I highly recommend whether you're squeamish or not. It also taught me that drinking your own wee is probably disgusting. Probably.

Review : 'Love and Other Drugs' (2010)

2011-02-17T10:16:00.000+00:00

Having heard about the racy sex scenes in Love and Other Drugs I just had to see it. I'm a sucker for famous people getting all naked and vulnerable on screen ("they're just like us! Only prettier!"). When I heard Christina Ricci showed her rack in Black Snake Moan I couldn't see it fast enough (never mind that I got bored about 20 minutes in). The chemistry between Jake and Anne (who both give fantastic performances) is evident and you totally buy them as a couple, but more on that later.

Love and Other Drugs is the story of 2 20-somethings, one a womanising pharmaceuticals salesman, the other an early-onset Parkinsons sufferer who won't commit. FIREWORKS! PROBLEMS! RESOLUTION! It really is that simple...but with some added Viagra. And that's where my problems are with the film. For a movie where Jake Gyllenhaal shows his really nice bum multiple times and Anne Hathaway shows her big boobs for what seems like 65% of the (10 minutes too long) running time, it all runs very predictably. This is standard emotion-prodding rom-com fare. Commitment-phobes meet, commitment-phobes give in to their growing love, something forces them apart (admittedly this time it's Parkinsons rather than an ex or a job or something), they emotionally reunite (in front of a load of old people). There's even a funny, overweight side-kick for Gyllenhaal to be humorous with.

I know it seems like I'm obsessed with movie-sex, but the film was a little bit like if The Wedding Singer had suddenly had a scene where Drew Barrymore performs really graphic fellatio on Adam Sandler. Shudder. Yeah, not quite like that, but you get the picture.

The comments on America's healthcare system seemed a little out of place too. It was like Love and Other Drugs couldn't decide what it wanted to be. It was sometimes cute, sometimes raunchy, sometimes sad and sometimes political. I personally would have enjoyed a film that focused on the pharmaceuticals business as this was the most interesting aspect for me but as a backdrop for the standard love story it just didn't work. The ending especially is so by-the-numbers that if it wasn't for the 'proper' actors it would have been unbearable schmultz. With Hathaway and Gyllenhaal at the helm it was quite touching but I wouldn't have liked to have seen the same scene played out with some Gossip Girl cast members.

This is a film to rent I think, rather than view at the cinema. A stand-up comic on Twitter said, "I've just seen Love and Other Drugs aka Anne Hathaway's Tits" which is slightly unfair, but not too unfair. And it made me laugh. If there's one thing that I like better than a romantic comedy with terminal illnesses and graphic sex scenes, it's a funny tweet.

Review : 'The Royal Tenenbaums' (2001)

2011-02-16T23:46:00.000+00:00

I saw this at my local cinema when it was released and it instantly became a favourite of mine. I wasn't sure of what to expect when I viewed it, the trailer painted it as more of a screwball comedy than it actually is. As a new teenage cinephile (the worst kind) I was blown away by Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenenbaums. Its look, its story and its retro soundtrack as well as the slightly styalised performances from the awesome cast all served to put the film instantly in to my top 10 list where it has remained now for almost a decade.

Dry as dust and at once hilarious and heart-rending, The Royal Tenenbaums succeeds as the perfect example of a comedy-drama. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson have never acted better as troubled former friends, both now lost in grief/addiction.

I have a relatively masculine taste in cinema but I'm still just a girl so I'm a sucker for a happy ending. The film has quite a bleak tone and perhaps unrealistically everything ends happily, but I believe it completely and wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes things do end well and these characters are so tortured in the cases of the Tenenbaum children and so obnoxious in the case of their father, Royal (played to perfection by Gene Hackman) that they deserve a pleasant resolution.

Favourite scenes include Royal and Chas' face-off in a toy cupboard, Royal being removed from his 'death bed' and the incredibly moving scene where Margot and Richie admit their feelings to 2 of the most stunning songs ever written.

I love Wes Anderson's work but this is far and away my favourite of his films. The closest he's come to bettering The Royal Tenenbaums in my opinion is The Darjeeling Limited (which shares not only tone but also much of the cast...plus Adrian Brody, which always makes things awesome), another touching, unlikely family story.

I've met a lot of people who can't understand why I love The Royal Tenenbaums quite so much, or at all in some cases. And I'm hard pressed to explain exactly why either...maybe it's just a film I saw at the right age in the right frame of mind. Or maybe it's a masterpiece. Whatever the reason, it almost makes me forgive Owen Wilson for You, Me and Dupree. If You, Me and Dupree was a person, I'd knee him square in the nuts.

Review : 'Never Let Me Go' (2010)

2011-02-16T22:01:00.000+00:00

When I saw the posters for Never Let Me Go I made a vom-face, expecting a Notebook-style schmultz-fest, wasting the talents of Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan...and starring Keira Knightley (I know, Knightley-bashing, how original). I decided to view it due to it being recommended by someone who said the acting was "excellent", and I love Mulligan and Garfield.

The Notebook this ain't.

Never Let Me Go is a dystopian human tale (based on the 2005 novel of the same name by Kazuo Ishiguro - yes, I did have to Google who wrote it) of cloned humans, born only to donate organs once they reach adulthood. In the alternative world presented to us in the film, humans are expected to live past 100 and cancer is something that is no longer an issue. This is at the cost of the clones, who are human in all but their purpose in life and who know they will die after their first couple of donations, maybe making it as far as 4 donations.

The love story (our 3 leads are in a triangle of sorts...Wiki it if you want to know more, I never fill reviews with plot, I don;t have the patience to type it all out coz I'm so selfish) set against the backdrop of the strangely-sci-fi backdrop in not-too-long-ago-Britain makes for fascinating, heart-breaking viewing. The film deals with both death and love in a way that is completely believable. Director (Googles....) Mark Romanek never for a minute makes you doubt the unlikely premise and the film's muted colours and isolated feel add to the bleakness that is quietly there throughout (not so quietly there as the film nears its climax).

I'm wary of calling Never Let Me Go depressing. Sad, yes, but not depressing. The characters are not depressed, they've known their fate since childhood and barely resist it. This was one of my only problems with the film (excuse the spoilers) - Kathy, Ruth and Tommy never make an attempt to escape (perhaps they physically can't, I dunno, maybe I didn't watch closely enough, might have been texting or something). As I've said already, these are clones of human beings with human emotions and I can't quite get past the fact that survival instinct didn't kick in. It added to the bleakness that there really is no way out for these guys, that they are destined to grow weaker as more of their organs are taken until they die long before they're 30.

The performances were what made me see the film and they're flawless. I was kind of looking forward to a good old Knightley slag-off, but her vaguely drama-queen character (which I think was purposeful) contrasted well with slighly-oddball Garfield and calm, collected Mulligan. Andrew Garfield's final breakdown was pretty heart-breaking and I shed some Sooz-tears, maybe even had to do a little nose wipe.

I also have to give a big thumbs up to the score. Eerily low-key, sparingly-used and oddly hopeful, it was pretty perfect. The song the film takes its title from was also moving when used.

I've seen a few parallels being drawn between Never Let Me Go and The Island, but this is a far superior film and to be honest the films were vastly different. I see where the similarities can be seen but this is not a thriller, we must accept what is going to happen to Tommy, Kathy and Ruth just as they do in order to 'enjoy' it.

So...Never Let Me Go is a touching, non-mawkish film which although not a walk in the park is far easier to watch than The Notebook. Did I mention I hate The Notebook?