Sorted blog

Taking a break from Facebook

2012-03-09T08:47:00.002Z

I recently decided to have a break from Facebook. It was distracting me from work and from the real, face-to-face relationships I have.

And although I was delighted for the people involved, the constant stream of engagement announcements and baby photos made me a bit depressed about my own marriageless, childless life.

But five days on, the lack of Facebook is taking its toll. I feel as though I’m out of the loop – what breaking news might I have missed in my absence? And worse still, what if my friends forget about me now my incredibly witty status updates are gone?

In deactivating my account, it almost felt like I was deleting myself. There were no more likes or comments on my posts and photos; no more invitations to events I was never going to go to. I no longer appear in people’s friends lists or turn up in search results for the thousands of people that are desperate to track me down. It’s like I no longer exist.

And I must admit I’ve really missed it. I like it when people post nice things on my wall or add me as a friend. I like the likes I get when I’ve posted a particularly profound pearl of wisdom. It all gives me a nice, warm fuzzy feeling. But is this normal?

Well, interviewing comedian Tony Vino this week reassured me that this need for approbation isn’t uncommon. He told me how comedians often lap up the laughs as a way of making themselves feel appreciated.

He said: “It still seems bizarre to me that a group of people spend half their lives travelling around the country seeking public affirmation from a group of strangers. I’m sure psychologists would have a lot to say about why we go to such lengths to please people. This is where I need to be vigilant that I don’t get into the trap of basing my worth on the acceptance of other people.”

So where should we be basing our worth if it’s not on other people’s perceptions of us? On our work? How many cars we have? How well our kids are doing at school? Tony believes our self-esteem should actually come from the one who created us, and I have to agree.

He explained: “My constant prayer is that my identity is in God. Laughter and good vibes audience are lovely, but if I rely on that to feel good I become a performing junkie, constantly needing the next high (not to be confused with a performing monkey; they’re happy with a banana and friendly scratch!).

“I rest in God knowing that my worth isn’t dictated by the audience or career. Sure, if I have a bad gig I can feel lousy, but I see it in perspective. If I have an awesome gig I thank God for the connection made with the audience and the gift of life.”

I don’t know where that leaves me in my Facebook dilemma. Should I make my temporary absence a permanent one and only commune with God from now on? I’m not sure my friends and family would be keen if I suddenly ostracised myself from the world (or maybe they would?!). I think the key is to find a balance; to enjoy the benefits of social networking without relying on it to massage my ego.

And I’ve also decided to spend more time with real people rather than just stalking them in cyberspace. When I look back on my life I’ll remember going for a nice meal with friends, but I won’t remember who ‘liked’ my status. I’ll have fond memories of holidays and baby showers, but I won’t recall someone from school who I never really got on with adding me as their 7,000th friend.

Most importantly, I’ll spend time finding out who I am in God’s eyes and to work on doing what he likes rather than soliciting approval from my Facebook ‘friends’.

Read the full (and extremely funny) interview with Tony Vino in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine.

Row, row, row your boat… right across the sea

2012-02-29T13:23:00.000Z

Norman and James Beech became the first British father and son to row an ocean when they successfully rowed from La Gomera in the Canaries to Antigua in the Caribbean. At sea for 82 days, they completed the challenge in support of WaterAid.

Norman had ambitions to take part in an ocean voyage from childhood, although he initially thought this would be aboard a sailing boat.

Having seen various teams taking part in the Woodvale Challenge – known as the world’s toughest rowing race – he started thinking about taking part. Participants in the transatlantic rowing race use specially designed self-righting rowing boats.

He didn’t have a rowing partner in mind, but when he shared the idea with the rest of the family James volunteered to row with him. Having cut their teeth on other adventurous pursuits made the father and son ocean rowing partnership a solid one from the word go.

“The daily routine of rowing for two hours on and two hours off for the duration of the crossing is as much a mental challenge as a physical one,” Norman says. “This is particularly so at night time when the two hour alarm goes off, signalling that you are back on the oars and you feel as though you have only been asleep for ten seconds!

“If you don’t sit up straight away and leave the cabin there and then it’s all too easy to fall asleep again. Even lying down to get your lifejacket on can result in you instantly returning to the land of nod!”

At one point, James pulled a muscle in his back, which made any movement – especially rowing – very painful, but amazingly he kept going. Knowing family and friends were praying for them was a great source of encouragement. Every day they read a Psalm together and prayed. According to James, if ever one was a bit low the other was usually able to give encouragement.

As well as the dangers, there were many highlights to their voyage. James remembers seeing whales and dolphins right next to the boat and the fun of making pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. He even ate his 19^th birthday cake in the water next to the boat! The absolute highlight, however, was reaching the end of the race. “The final row across the finish line and entering the English Harbour, Antigua, was incredible,” he recalls.

“We were met with the sound of boat horns and applause as diners at a quayside restaurant stood up to cheer us in, along with the greeting party assembled at the harbour wall, which included two special people: Christine and Lydia, the other two members of their family.”

A few year before the ocean adventure, friends of the family working for WEC in Senegal had raised funds for a pipeline to bring water into the village near the school they where they worked. This meant people didn’t have to walk long distances to collect water or become ill from drinking polluted water.

So James and Norman approached WaterAid to see if funds from the row could be used to support the charity. It seemed fitting since the pair would be surrounded by undrinkable water, just as one in eight people in the world are.

The two men also hope their adventures will give them a platform to share the gospel. “Lots of things in life can seem good to go after, but only Jesus can quench our thirst,” Norman concludes. “Jesus came to give us life and to enable us to live life to the full, and we hope this message has been communicated through our achievement and the telling of our story.”

Read more about this the Beech Boys’ incredible cycling feat in the next issue of Sorted magazine.

Getting the bored on board

2012-02-22T17:21:00.001Z

I'd be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to outdoor pursuits. I don't like anything involving heights, water, long distances, being cold or taking risks. So pretty much all of it really.

But a company providing safe outdoor activities came to my attention recently and has managed to tempt me away from my desk... well, to think about it at least.

Berkshire-based Crossover Boardriders offers people of all ages the opportunity to skateboard, snowboard, mountainboard, wakeboard, windsurf, skimboard and surf in a fun and safe environment.

Run by a vibrant bunch of Christians, the organisation works hard to engage young people as well as their friends and family, in healthy, positive, activities through which friendships can be fostered.

Crossover Boardriders organises outings to a range of facilities where boardsports can be learnt and enjoyed under proper supervision. And when they’re not getting people up on their boards, they are hosting social nights where the latest boardriding films are shown, food is munched and relationships are strengthened.

Company founder Guy Higgins explains: "When I was a kid I would talk my parents into driving me to the coast so I could surf and skimboard. As soon as my friends passed their driving tests we would be off on adventures to Wales, Devon and the south coast.

"A couple of years ago I was praying about what I should give my time to. God gave me the name, the logo and the vision. I have rarely heard God so clearly. I raised some money for the artwork and an insurance policy and Crossover Boardriders was born."

And you don't have to have any experience to get involved. "We ride all sorts of boards so there is something for everyone," explains Guy. Wakeboarding, surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding, stand-up paddleboarding, skimboarding. It doesn’t matter if you are an expert or complete beginner, you are welcome. We have run skateboard schools for kids aged five and above; but we have also run stand-up paddleboarding sessions just for adults.

But what do boardsports and Christianity have in common? Isn't it all a bit dangerous? According to Guy it doesn't have to be, and there's nothing wrong with a bit of adventure.

"I think God likes adventure, He is an adventure! I wanted to give people the chance to experience the thrill of boardsports but in an environment that parents trust. That doesn’t mean in a Christian bubble, it means in a friendly environment with expert tuition and lots of laughs," he says.

"The health benefits are huge, not only for the body but also the soul. You are outside in God’s creation riding with friends and family; it’s exciting and calming at the same time."

Don't be scared by the pictures; Crossover Boardriders offers activities for all ages and wimp levels, so even landlubbers have no excuse for chickening out.

It's the perfect way to entertain your kids/friends and get a bit of fresh air, so if you've been surfing the net for a great boarding break, look no further. More details (and some great pics) are available on the company's website.

Read more from Joy in the latest issue of Sorted magazine.

The president and the prayer breakfast

2012-02-14T09:56:00.001Z

Guest blog with Phil James

Speaking last Thursday to 3,000 people at the annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, President Obama explained how his Christian beliefs influence and help guide his political and personal life. Drawing heavily on the Bible, he addressed and prayed with political, business and social leaders from across the world.

In my predictions for 2012, I said that we should expect the best and worst of Christianity to be showcased through US politics, and though often the bad is more visible and perhaps more entertaining to critique than the good, that doesn’t mean the good isn’t there.

Republican senator Jeff Sessions introduced the president by thanking him “for all the ways you strive for all Americans; you give your life to that”. This would draw awkward silence on the floor of the Senate, but underlines the prayer breakfast’s position as one of the last genuinely bipartisan arenas for American politics.

From his efforts to raise taxes for the wealthiest Americans to sending troops to prevent human rights abuses in Uganda, Obama argued that his political behaviour and actions are founded in his faith:

“The Bible teaches us to ‘be doers of the word and not merely hearers’. We’re required to have a living, breathing, active faith in our own lives. And each of us is called on to give something of ourselves for the betterment of others.”

In a demonstration of his personal belief, Obama described how he prays each morning and seeks advice at times of stress. He also outlined how he’s found politics and religion to be complementary elements in his own decision making:

“I think to myself, if I’m willing to give something up as somebody who’s been extraordinarily blessed, and give up some of the tax breaks that I enjoy, I actually think that’s going to make economic sense. But for me, as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus’ teaching that ‘for unto whom much is given, much shall be required’.”

He added, however, that his decisions are not ordained from on high:

“Our goals should not be to declare our policies as biblical. It is God who is infallible, not us. Michelle reminds me of this often.”

The National Prayer Breakfast, attended by every president since Eisenhower, is an opportunity for people of different faiths and denominations to come together and pray. It can be used as a pulpit or a platform to remind the powerful of their duty and, as demonstrated on February 2, it can help to define the role of religion in politics. It can raise the level of political debate, rather than diminishing it, and it can change the tone of political interaction.

Phil James writes for Godculture, an online magazine that showcases Christianity in modern culture. For more articles on faith, creativity, technology, justice, music and more, head to www.godculture.co.uk.

The project that’s making Bellamy a “better human being”

2012-02-10T09:18:00.001Z

You may have gathered from previous blog entries that I’m a staunch Liverpool fan, so naturally I’m a big supporter of Craig Bellamy. He may be 32 but he’s currently one of our best players.

The neckless Welshman has his critics, though. He probably has the biggest mouth in football and causes controversy wherever he plays.

However, it seems there’s something we can all like about Bellers: the work he’s doing in Sierra Leone. Roughly the same size as Wales, the West African nation is recovering from a horrific civil war, which lasted more than a decade. Life expectancy is just 48 and the likelihood of a woman dying in childbirth is greater than in any other country.

“There’s so much poverty, it can either scare you or it can inspire you to do something about it,” Craig says on Craig Bellamy’s African Dream, a documentary that recently aired on ITV. “Thankfully, it inspired me to want to do something about it, and if I didn’t I think I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”

The Craig Bellamy Foundation’s primary focus is education, but it is also working to improve healthcare, reduce poverty, promote human rights, integrate people with disabilities, empower women and work with troubled teens.

The not-for-profit foundation runs Sierra Leone’s only professional football academy. Built on a 15-acre site in Tombo, which overlooks the Atlantic Ocean, the academy features an international boarding school and a full-size grass football pitch.

Sixteen children from across the country have been awarded five-year scholarships to “live, learn and play football” at the academy. The rules are simple: if you don’t turn up for school, you don’t get to train or play in the league.

The football development programme is staffed by a team of internationally qualified staff and the foundation helps its rising stars to obtain professional football contracts at the end of their scholarships.

“If people think we’re passionate back home about football, it doesn’t touch the surface on this. They know every team, every player; they adore their football,” says Craig. And, since almost all the children at the academy were born during the war, he acknowledges that the fact they are alive at all is “a miracle”.

The Liverpool player has also launched a campaign in Makeni to encourage girls to attend school, and it’s already experiencing tremendous growth. He says: “Sometimes in Africa women don’t get looked on [in the same way] as women back home; they don’t get as much say as our women do, so it’s important that we change that.

“A lot of the girls here adore football as well so it’s important for us to give them the opportunity, same as the boys… These girls have gone on to become community leaders; they’ve gone on to have a big say in these areas and it’s changed a lot of opinions of women in their areas… It’s just been worth its weight in gold.”

And it doesn’t end there. Bellamy recently met with a group of amputee players; casualties of the tragic war. He’s determined to give these guys the same opportunities as the able-bodied people he’s helping.

Spending a week in Sierra Leone back in 2007, the Premier League star immediately “fell in love with the place” and has since met with the President and Sports Minister to get their input. He hasn’t just thrown money at the project to gain notoriety (although he’s already forked out more than a million); he has actually spent time with the people, whom he cares deeply about.

Craig is very different on and off the pitch. He’s actually a lot shyer in real life than you might think and claims setting up the foundation has completely taken him out of his comfort zone. He’s treated like a local hero, but this clearly makes him uncomfortable, and (to me at least) he appears endearingly bashful and reserved.

“I feel it does change me every time I come out here,” he says. “It does inspire me a lot, the effect I’m able to have on one or two of the people here; the opportunity I’m trying to give them makes me feel a better human being.

"So as much as I’m trying to improve these as human beings, I’m becoming a better human being as well.”

Love him or hate him, Bellamy wants the people of Sierra Leone to have a better future and is doing his bit to make it happen. The on-pitch loudmouth himself couldn’t argue with that!

Visit the Craig Bellamy Foundation to find out more.

Uni Lad has had its day; Sorted mag is here to stay!

2012-02-02T09:35:00.000Z

Imagine your daughter has just left for university, excited about the new friends she’ll meet and the wonderful things she’s about to learn. The world is her oyster!

Then picture her hitting the local student bar, knocking back shots of what tastes like paint stripper and probably has a similar effect on her stomach/brain.

Her makeup is smudged all over her face and she’s slumped over the bar looking as though she’s about to vomit and pass out simultaneously.

I know this isn’t what any father/grandfather/brother wants to hear, but if you knew what was coming next, you’d understand why I’m putting you through this.

At this point, some sleazy guy who’s been staring at your little girl all night decides to make his move. He pretends to be helping her but what he’s actually doing is taking advantage of her in her semi-conscious state.

I imagine he is the kind of guy that reads Uni Lad, a publication you wouldn’t use to wrap your fish and chips in. The website of this ‘mag’ provides links to topics such as – and I quote – “how to pull a fresher”; “the blood jizz cocktail”; “Halloween: the easiest night to get laid?”; and the “vagina vomit bucket” (I kid you not).

But this all pales into insignificance once you read a post that appeared on its site in January. Here’s a snippet:

"And if the girl you’ve taken for a drink happens to belong to the ‘25%’ group and won’t ‘spread for your head’, think about this mathematical statistic: 85% of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds."

I don’t think you need me to unpick the various levels of offence this short extract contains. I’m not easily shocked, but this genuinely made me feel sick. And incredibly angry. And then sick again.

In a previous blog I wrote about the link between the content of lads’ mags and the attitudes of convicted rapists, and I think this probably even tops that. Joking about rape is not ‘banter’. It’s not big, clever or funny. It’s an absolute disgrace and should have resulted in immediate legal action.

Picked up on Twitter, there was a massive reaction to this post, which has since been taken down. In fact, the whole site is being revamped and an apology has been issued. But this kind of filth needs to stop once and for all, as I’m sure most men would agree. It’s demeaning to women, but it’s also insulting to men when sites like this assume their readers condone rape ‘jokes’.

So should we hoik our daughters out of university before anything terrible occurs? Should we start an Occupy Uni Lad protest? Possibly. It’s absolutely right to stand up against this kind of poisonous prose, but in my opinion it’s just as important to take positive action.

The first step is to make sure you aren’t reinforcing negative stereotypes about women yourself. Your sons and daughters will subconsciously take your attitudes on board and may either mirror your misogynistic views (boys) or start to see themselves as worthless objects (girls).

The second step is to offer a better alternative. I know I’m biased, but Sorted magazine is perfect for uni-goers. It’s already available at many universities, but we want to make it available to every male student across the UK.

If it’s banter guys want, they can get it in Sorted. If it’s lifestyle tips or sex advice they need: Sorted. If they’re interested in film, music, celebrities, finance, politics: Sorted. If they want to ponder the meaning of life: Sorted, Sorted, Sorted!

You can help to make this vision a reality. We need financial support from individuals, churches and Christian Unions to provide the nation’s braniacs with something that’s a lot more wholesome.

Provide your son or daughter’s university with 50 glossy copies for just £70; the impact it has on university culture (and the future of our country!) will be priceless.

Lads' mags: out of sight, out of mind

2012-01-27T14:48:00.000Z

Sorted at WH Smith in Liverpool

There has been a lot of controversy over the way lads’ mags are displayed in newsagents and supermarkets. While some see no problem with the likes of Nuts, Zoo, FHM and Loaded being displayed at eye level, it seems more and more people feel they should be tucked well out of sight.

A survey from parental support resource Mumsnet showed that 90% of us think these mags should be well out of sight of our kids. It’s clear that the nation objects to the prominence of lads’ mags in our stores and the explicitness of the front covers.

Mumsnet decided to use this information to influence the people who decide what goes where on the shop shelves. It wrote to all the major news retailers telling them what their survey had revealed and asking them to change the way they display publications containing adult sexual imagery.

“We are absolutely delighted that Sainsburys, Morrisons, Waitrose, BP, Asda, The Co-operative Group and Tesco have all pledged to support our campaign to keep lads' mags out of children's view, in all their stores,” said a Mumsnet spokesperson.

There is also good news from the government’s Bailey Review, which is looking into the sexualisation and commercialisation of children. It has also called for lad's mags to be hidden from children's sight.

There is still plenty of work to be done. WH Smith says that a shelf height of 1.2m is high enough for men’s mags and the National Federation of Retail Newsagents says it “cannot ensure” that its members take action. And independent newsagents and petrol stations are often the major culprits when it comes to exposing kids to what basically boils down to pornography.

So what can we do to stop the public display of magazines that exploit and demean women?

Stop buying them!
Buy Sorted magazine instead. It’s manly without being misogynistic; entertaining without being exploitative. And the more popular it becomes, the more seriously it will be taken by retailers. WH Smith is now stocking it, get down there today!
In the meantime, get behind the ‘modesty wrap’ campaign, which will force the lads’ mags to cover up. Click here to sign the petition
Contact your local newsagent and any other offenders – they do listen (see WH Smith comment below). Here’s a handy template from Mumsnet to get you started
Write to commend the retailers who are already taking action. Campaigning doesn’t have to be negative; it’s good to honour those who are socially responsible

Quotes from the retailers in response to the Mumsnet campaign:

Sainsbury's: “We know that this is an important issue for many of our shoppers and this is why we were one of the first retailers to introduce modesty covers back in 2006.”

Morrisons: said it “had a pre-existing policy of using modesty covers for lads' mags, will continue to do so.”

Waitrose: “On the occasion that the publications feature covers that could be considered controversial, we would ask that the publisher polybag or wrap them.

Asda: “We are doing everything we can to keep men's weeklies out of the sight of children by removing them from prominent displays and concealing covers with 'modesty boards'.”

Tesco: “Last year, we introduced a trial in more than 100 stores which put these titles at the back of the top shelf, obscuring their front covers with other magazines. We are pleased with the success of this trial and are now rolling this out across all Tesco stores. We are already reviewing the use of bagging and 'modesty units' where these niche magazines are concerned.”

The Co-operative Group: “Lads' mags will always be merchandised on the top tier of all fixtures and be overlapped to avoid overt display of sexual images. The Daily Sport will be merchandised with the back page on display.”

The National Federation of Retail Newsagents: “We do recommend to our members that they adopt a family-friendly policy for the display of adult and lads' mags titles, which includes keeping them away from children's titles and above children's eye level.”

WH Smith: “Where we receive customer complaints about an issue in a certain publication, WH Smith commits to raise these concerns directly with the publisher.”

Stop making excuses!

2012-01-23T10:52:00.004Z


The mighty Sorted magazine hits WH Smith

I’m not going to write a long rant, but I do want to make a strong case in favour of an amazing venture and opportunity.

Sorted magazine launched in 316 WH Smith stores this month. Established back in 1792, ‘Smiths’ has 550 high street stores and 440 travel outlets. It’s the first place most people think of when they want to buy a magazine. So the fact this industry-leading newsagent is stocking our magazine is the result of the team’s incredible hard work and God’s intervention.

Why am I telling you all this, you ask? Well, I just want to remind you how amazing it is that this awesome magazine (yes, I know I’m biased) is available to buy on the high street alongside Loaded, Nuts and FHM. But we want to do more and we need your help.

You can make Sorted a real contender in its field and, more importantly, a godly witness on the high street.

Here are my top five reasons to get off your blessed assurance and buy your copy today:

It’s a good witness to the retailer. I’m all for complaining about bad lads’ mags and signing petitions to bring in modesty covers, but how about doing something positive too? Find out whether your nearest WH Smith sells it/has any copies left, and if not, ask them about it, then go and buy one. We want them to know there is a genuine demand for something more wholesome. This will send a powerful message to the high street.

It’s an easy way to share the gospel with your friends/colleagues in a cringe-free way. You could buy a copy (or five) for your staffroom, a neighbour, or your friend/family member who doesn’t want to hear the gospel but likes to read interesting articles and features. Then just leave it sitting there. It’s evangelism the easy way.

It’s a chance to get some exercise. My nearest Smiths store that stocks it is a good 30 minute walk there and back. Use your lunch hour to get some fresh air, get your heart pumping and pick up a great treat for later in the day (if you can bear to wait that long).

It’s great value. For just £3.50 you get 92 pages that are full to the brim with good stuff. That’s just £1.75 a month (less than the price of one posh coffee) for the bi-monthly mag. It will keep you entertained for hours with exclusive celebrity interviews, sports features, blogs from Bear Grylls, Dan Walker and Andy Kind, words of wisdom from the like of J. John and Carl Beech, gadget and film reviews, fitness and lifestyle tips, and lots more.

It’s an easy way to support a Christian company and ministry that donates thousands of free copies a year to members of the armed forces, commuters, school children, police stations and many others. This magazine has the potential to reach the world, so play your part!

Okay, so maybe that was a bit of a rant, but it’s something I’m really passionate about. It’s primarily aimed at men, but I know lots of women who read it too. The perfect gift for Father’s Day, birthdays and all the occasions in between, it’s time to get behind this enterprise and help it to reach its God-given potential.

Let’s make sure we tell our churches, our families and our friends about it; that we create a buzz that gets people talking about it (and buying it). The more copies sold, the more we can achieve through it in the future.

We need to put our money where our mouths are and start spreading the word. Feel free to take pictures of your Sorted-buying escapades and send them to the wonderful Steve Legg (steve@sorted-magazine.com)!

How to lose weight and motivate people

2012-01-16T11:16:00.000Z

Mike before

When I first saw the before and after pictures of Mike Jones, I struggled to believe the two men staring back at me were actually the same guy.

Having spoken to him, I’m sure he won’t mind me saying that the before pic showed a chubby guy with pretty low confidence. He admits that takeaways were a constant temptation and the work chocolate machine added insult to injury.

To escape his stressful job, Mike found himself playing competitive computer games on Xbox Live, which “would involve a lot of swearing and raising of voices”. He spent a large portion of the weekend in bed and did not welcome any interruptions from his wife.

The worst part, though, was his relationship with his son. He avoided taking his son out and felt people were staring at him when he went out because of his weight. “At restaurants, if I ordered anything even remotely fattening, I felt like people would be looking at me and thinking: ‘The reason you are so fat is because that's what you eat!’”

Mike struck rock bottom when his son started asking him not to go places with him and when, during a men’s retreat, he was told during a high beams activity that two peoples’ weight would be needed to counter his. Then, in 2009, the couple lost their second child, who lived for just four hours.

“All these things led me to see what was going on, to see how life was important, and what my wife meant when she told me that I didn't see how much of an influential role model a father is for his son,” he says.

Mike after

Prescription drugs didn’t work, so he started attending Rosemary Conley classes with his wife. He found it easier than he’d imagined because it helped him get motivated and meant they were spending more time together.

Within two weeks, Mike’s calorie intake had been halved, he’d lost 5.5lbs and his confidence was starting to return. After a month he’d dropped a stone and a full trouser size. He found himself wanting to play less Xbox and exercise more as he felt more and more energised.

Having now lost eight stone, he not only looks like a different person, he feels like a new man too. “From a purely selfish and superficial level, I enjoy picking out new trousers and no longer looking for those with a 46" tag.

“But the most important things are that I am much happier and relaxed person and what it has given my family. We took some photos (my son and myself) on Father’s Day and he was hugging me so tight I had to almost push him away.” A few days later, a framed version of the picture appeared on the wall at his son’s request.

Although this was a decidedly difficult period in Mike’s life, he feels his faith in God paid a “huge part” in his weight loss experience. He also discovered that weight loss and proximity to God went hand in hand for him.

A few times a week he goes for a run during his lunch hour. “This is the perfect time for me to focus on God and to think about where my life is going,” he says. “The extra energy that I have has allowed me to become a Street Pastor, where we walk from about ten at night until four in the morning; I’m not sure I would have had the energy to do that previously. I am also running Zumba classes at the church I attend as a way outreach, encouraging people to bring their friends along.”

So what advice would he give other people, particularly men, who are struggling with weight issues? “Ultimately, I believe that fad diets don't work and successful weight loss and maintenance boils down to two things,” he says. “Eat better, move more.”

Read the full story in the May-June edition of Sorted men's magazine - now available at WH Smith!

Why the homeless may soon be looking trendier than you

2012-01-10T16:01:00.000Z

If you’ve ever been to a market or travelled to a tourist destination, you’ve probably come across counterfeit designer goods of some kind. Buying a pair of knock-off Nike trainers, a Gucci watch or a Ralph Lauren shirt at a heavily discounted price is understandably tempting for many.

But there are two major drawbacks associated with fake goods:

Quality: I bought a “designer” watch in Ibiza and it had stopped working by the time I got home. Lesson learnt!

Social/economic impact: it puts people out of jobs, puts consumers at risk and often empowers crime syndicates connected with child labour, human trafficking, money laundering and even terrorism, according to the experts.

If in doubt, avoid buying pirated gear! (Unless of course it’s the Jack Sparrow kind.)

But there is at least one positive outcome emerging from the counterfeiting crisis. A UK charity is giving the fakes a new future; as much-needed clothing for the homeless. Although they are usually handed to Customs or Trading Standards to be incinerated, His Church has been given the go-ahead to redistribute these clothes to those who really need it.

Buckinghamshire Trading Standards was the first authority to get involved in the scheme, followed: by Trading Standards in Manchester, Liverpool and London; West Midlands Police, the Metropolitan Police and the City of London Police; and UK Customs. And now the charity is getting calls from as far away as America to deal with offending items of fake fashion.

Even the sewing machines His Church uses to patch over counterfeit labels were seized by UK Customs officials from the criminal gangs creating the counterfeit clothing and passed on. It’s a win-win situation: the homeless benefit and officials don’t have to pay to store or destroy the garments.

Charity co-ordinator Richard Humphrey told the BBC: "It's all come round in a virtuous circle," says Richard. "It's a genuinely inspired idea which we've put into practice by faith and it's just borne fruit."

Rebranding takes place at the charity’s Lincolnshire warehouse, where around 30 volunteers give up their time to make the clothes legally wearable. According to Richard, the quality of most of the items he receives is excellent.

These high-quality items are then sent to around 250 homeless centres and women's shelters across the country. And even garments that are too heavily branded to patch over can be salvaged; the charity has permission to send them overseas, providing the destination is outside the EU.

"So many of us go through life talking about projects we're going to do and we talk and talk about them but somehow we just never quite get round to doing them,” Richard told the BBC.

"So I guess we decided to come at it from the opposite end; don't bother talking, just do it."

An apt choice of words, given the topic in question.

Were Liverpool right not to appeal the Luis Suárez ban?

2012-01-04T09:45:00.000Z

Luis Suárez (left) confronts Patrice Evra (right)

When I first heard about the Evra-Suárez racism affair, I thought Evra had sunk to even lower lows. Having been at the game I saw him diving, feigning injury, jostling and chasing after the referee every five minutes.

I knew Suárez had bitten another player before joining Liverpool and provided the handball that knocked my favourites, Ghana, out of the World Cup.

But his form for the club has been unbelievable, even United fans couldn’t deny that.

So I immediately leapt to his defence, rejecting the very idea that our super Suárez could have done such a thing. I mean, surely racism went out of the game (and modern society) decades ago?

Well clearly not, and the Independent Regulatory Committee’s 115-page dossier on the incident appears to agree. The committee stated that Suárez referred to Evra as “negro” (“black”) on seven occasions during the October 15 fixture.

Suárez's lawyers argued that it is common practice to address a person by referring to an element of their appearance across Latin America, including terms relating to size, weight, hair colour and skin colour.

Furthermore, “negrito”, the Spanish term he initially claimed to have used, is less clear cut than the English word “negro”. Having a decent knowledge of Italian, I knew that the “ito” ending was a diminutive and is often used to express affection. An example of this might be Ronaldinho, whose real name is Ronaldo, but for whom the diminutive ending “inho” is used as a term of endearment.

So what’s the problem then? Well the use of the “ito” at the end of the word can also be used to belittle someone. Used in the context of a fiercely contested derby game between two players in which blatant animosity was apparent to even the most distracted of spectators, it was adjudged that the Uruguayan “probably” wasn’t showing Evra some love, even if he did use "negrito" rather than "negro".

Commenting on the alleged incident, Suárez said: "Never, I repeat, never, have I had any racial problem with a teammate or individual who was of a different race or colour to mine … In my country, 'negro' is a word we use commonly, a word which doesn't show any lack of respect and is even less so a form of racist abuse … I will carry out the suspension with the resignation of someone who hasn't done anything wrong and who feels extremely upset by the events."

It is arguable whether Suárez was deliberately racist, but he certainly has a callous streak that rears its ugly head from time to time. Wherever they are from, footballers should familiarise themselves with any offensive terms in the country they play in and, if in doubt, avoid using them. Culture cannot be used as an excuse.

Suárez is an excellent player and I’m delighted he signed for Liverpool. I’m not sure whether he deserved an eight-match ban and a £40,000 fine, but I hope following this and the Fulham incident, that he will learn to keep his behaviour in check in the future. As a Liverpool fan I want to see him making headlines for his goal scoring record and not for his personality defects.

With the news of the convictions in the Stephen Lawrence case this week, I’d love to say that violence and discrimination against ethnic minorities has come to an end. But the truth is that racism is still a massive problem in the UK, even if we do not encounter it ourselves on a daily basis.

Footballers shouldn’t be treated any differently from other people in society and racist comments should always be taken seriously. It needs to be stamped out at an individual, institutional and international level, and those responsible should be made an example of, whoever they are.

I just hope the ever-slippery John Terry doesn’t evade justice over his own allegedly racist comment.

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine - now available from WH Smith!

Let’s make 2012 count!

2012-01-01T12:53:00.001Z

So it’s New Year’s Day and I’m already regretting some of the resolutions I promised to make when the sun came up on the brand new year. I mean, a little bit of chocolate is good for you, right? And walking to the kitchen to stick the kettle on pretty much constitutes exercise, doesn’t it?

I’m sure we all have things we’d like to change about ourselves, and the start of a new year offers the perfect opportunity to do so.

I’d like to stop committing myself to things I can’t deliver on. I hate disappointing people, so I say yes to whatever I’m asked. But then when the pressure’s on I either end up burning myself out or letting someone down. We all know honesty is the best policy, but I, for one, could be better at it.

But rather than focusing on the things I want to STOP doing, I’ve decided to think about what I really want to get out of this year; to make this a positive rather than a negative period. All my life I’ve wanted to write a novel, and this year I made a great start. But something inside me is afraid of finishing it in case it’s no good.

This year I want to stop fearing failure and start enjoying my writing. I’m no William Shakespeare or JK Rowling, but nothing makes me happier than putting pen to paper and letting my imagination run wild. And I believe it’s a gift God has given me, so the last thing I want to do is squander it.

What is it that you really want to get out of this year? Why not pick three things that you’ve been thinking about doing but haven’t quite got round to yet? Then come up with a realistic plan of action so you can make it happen.

The traditional resolutions – giving up smoking, cutting back on booze, caffeine and calories, going to the gym more – are fine, but don’t limit yourself to them. They’re all well and good if your dream is to get the perfect body, but many of us want more from our lives than that.

Ask God what he his plans are for you this year; he has a definite purpose for you in 2012 and beyond (Jeremiah 29:11). He can also help you achieve it!

If you’re stuck for ideas, these might help get the ball rolling:

Learning a new language
Playing football rather than just watching it
Getting the hang of Twitter
Asking your boss for a promotion
Spending more time with your kids
Throwing out all your old hole-ridden underpants
Taking a road trip with a group of friends
Volunteering with a local/national/international community group
Running a 5K/10K/half-marathon/marathon
Getting involved more in your church
Saving for a house deposit
Recycling more and wasting less
Finally completing Angry Birds
Telling a friend about Jesus
Signing up for a Sorted subscription ;)

I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with plenty yourself, so be realistic, practise perseverance and don’t let minor setbacks set you back for good.

Happy New Year!

Seriously though, what is Christmas coming to?

2011-12-20T11:16:00.000Z

On Saturday night I went for Christmas dinner with my boyfriend and another couple. After some tasty turkey-related treats we headed into town for a few drinks. The other couple were still wearing their Christmas cracker hats at this point and were refused entry to a bar until they agreed to remove them. Bah, humbug!

In a similar vein, Jeremy Paxman has caused something of a furore for refusing to have a Christmas tree and decorations in the Newsnight studio. A tree is prominently displayed on the BBC Breakfast set, which Newsnight shares, but by the evening it is promptly removed. As a result, Paxman has reportedly been nicknamed ‘Scrooge’ by other BBC staff.

This reminds me of an office I worked in five years or so ago. Managed by a lay preacher, all Christmas decorations were banned from the reception area in case they offended clients of other faiths. We weren’t even allowed to put Christmas cards on our desks. Wise up!

These stories represent the absurdity of modern culture to me. We have become so “respectful” of other people’s traditions that we are having to lay down our own. Ok, so Christmas isn’t about trees or decorations, but they certainly make the festive season more fun.

I have lots of Muslim friends and all of them love Christmas. Many have a traditional Christmas dinner (minus the pigs in blankets) and embrace plenty of other Christmas traditions. Sheikh Ibrahim Mogra of the Muslim Council of Britain points out that Muslims “believe in the Bible” and “believe in the teachings of Jesus”. So who are we really showing “respect” to by banning the mention and celebration of Christmas?

Meanwhile, it seems decorations aren’t the only Christmas controversies making the news this year. Police were called to a hotel near Hartlepool last weekend after reports of a disturbance at a Christmas party held for plainclothes police officers! Although the complaints were never substantiated, three police cars and a dog unit were sent to the scene. Talk about the heavy hand of the law.

On a lighter note, a stolen snowman ornament in Victoria, Australia, has become something of a local hero, according to the Herald Sun. The family received emailed photographs of Frosty with a gun and a blowtorch pointed at him. A ransom note telling them to "Meet our demands or the snowman gets it”, was also sent. But the burglars seem to have fallen for the dainty decoration, taking him for a spin on a motorbike and even for a game of pool at the local pub.

I’m not advocating theft, but let’s keep the fun in Christmas. Let’s remember to give generously, to try not to throttle our families and to have plenty of laughs this year. And let’s not forget the real reason we celebrate Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ, the saviour of the world. We’re not celebrating “winterval”, it’s CHRISTmas!

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from everyone at Sorted magazine xxx

The children that could change our world

2011-12-17T09:35:00.000Z

Kimberley Hainey was convicted of murdering her son Declan this week.

That’s shocking in itself. But when you hear that this poor baby was regularly left in dirty nappies without food while Hainey was out enjoying herself and that his body was left rotting in his cot for months after his death, this tragic story takes on a whole new dimension. To add insult to murder, his mother then sold his clothes and toys to buy heroin.

Like Declan, Paul Apowida was left to die a long and painful death as a child. Born in Sirigu, Northern Ghana, Paul’s father died before he was born and his mother died shortly after the birth.

This was taken as a sign that he was possessed by evil spirits. A soothsayer decided Paul should be put to death to rid the community of this ‘kinkirgo’ (‘spirit child’), who would otherwise act as a jinx to those around him.

Baby Paul was fed poisonous herbs and would certainly have died if it hadn’t been for the intervention of Catholic nun Jane Naaglosegme. Sister Jane had set up a care home for ‘spirit children’ and patiently nursed him until the effects of the potentially fatal herbs wore off.

Then an amazing charity called AfriKids supported Paul through art college. Not only is he now a great painter, he is also a decorated soldier in The Rifles – the army’s largest infantry regiment.

But despite his military success, Paul hasn’t forgotten his shaky start in life. The first time he returned to his own village, Sirigu, five or six years ago, his townfolk were stunned to see that he was still alive. They never believed he would have survived childhood, let alone life on the frontline.

Reading stories like this makes my heart weep for the children like Declan and the hundreds of ‘spirit children’ who aren’t as fortunate as Paul. These children have been seriously let down; robbed of their futures, deprived of the love and care they deserve. I want to do something about it.

These stories also provoke in me a righteous indignation. How dare people take the lives of these children that God created? Psalm 127:3 says that children “are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward”.

There are many references in the Old Testament to God’s anger when it comes to child sacrifice and infanticide. “And they burned their sons and their daughters as offerings and used divination and omens and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking him to anger (2 Kings17:17-18).

And we should be angry: every child is precious and should be loved, cherished and nurtured. We should be looking out for the children around us, making sure they are being cared for properly, offering help if we see parents struggling, and intervening if we suspect ill-treatment.

As an AfriKids ambassador, Paul is helping to re-educate his countrymen and women about the mistaken ‘spirit child’ belief. He has also raised £40,000 for the charity through the sale of his paintings.

“God is using me to talk to people, to educate my community about what they are doing and to help change their ways,” Paul told Sorted.”You never know what a child will grow up to be.”

Paul’s words are all the more poignant as we prepare to celebrate the birth of a very special baby this Christmas. This one baby changed the fate of the world forever, and we shouldn’t underestimate the influence our own children may have if they are given the chance.

Read more the full story of Paul Apowida in the next issue of Sorted magazine.

Boobs and banter, or dangerous drivel?

2011-12-09T14:27:00.001Z

As a girl, I find it hard to avoid making eye-to-boob contact when I see lads’ mags in the local newsagent’s, so I can only imagine what it must be like for a hormonal male. You might think me prudish, but I don’t think the likes of Nuts, Loaded, Zoo and FHM should be placed within arm’s reach of our kids.

And it seems I’m not the only one. In February, a number of supermarket chains and petrol stations agreed to place lads’ mags on the top shelf and some even introduced modesty covers.

But it seems children aren’t the only people at risk from their content. What impact are these ‘soft-porn’ magazines having on their target audience (teenage boys and men)? And how do they affect men’s attitudes towards women, sexual abuse and domestic violence?

This may sound a little far-fetched, but a new study from psychologists at Middlesex University and the University of Surrey suggest lads’ mags could be legitimising and propagating hostile, sexist attitudes.

Psychologists presented men aged 18-46 with a range of statements, some taken from magazines and some from convicted rapists. The sources were only disclosed in certain cases.

When presented with descriptions of women taken from lads’ mags, and comments about women made by convicted rapists, most who took part in the study could not distinguish the source of the quotes.

Most men who took part identified themselves more with the language expressed by the convicted rapists. When told which quotes were from lads’ mag, they identified more with these, despite the fact some were actually taken from rapists.

In a separate study, the researchers found that both men and women rated the quotes from lads’ mags as more derogatory than those from the rapists.

Dr Miranda Horvath, lead researcher at Middlesex University, said: “We were surprised that participants identified more with the rapists’ quotes, and we are concerned that the legitimisation strategies that rapists deploy when they talk about women are more familiar to these young men than we had anticipated.”

Dr Peter Hegarty, from the University of Surrey’s Psychology Department, added: “We are not killjoys or prudes who think that there should be no sexual information and media for young people. But are teenage boys and young men best prepared for fulfilling love and sex when they normalise views about women that are disturbingly close to those mirrored in the language of sexual offenders?”

Experts are calling for magazine editors to moderate the content of their magazines more effectively. Anna van Heeswijk, campaigns manager for human rights campaign group OBJECT, said: "This crucial and chilling piece of research lays bare the hateful messages which seep out of lads' mags and indoctrinate young men's attitudes towards women and girls.

“When the content of magazines aimed at teenage boys mirrors the attitudes of convicted rapists, alarm bells must ring.

“If we are serious about wanting an end to discrimination and violence against women and girls, we must tackle the associated attitudes and behaviours. This means tackling the publications which peddle them.”

What do you think? Are lads’ mags just a bit of cheeky fun? Or could they be doing real harm? Do you or someone close to you buy them?

You’ll have to excuse the shameless plug, but if you’re looking for a wholesome men’s magazine that is packed full of interesting interviews, reviews, sports news and practical lifestyle tips, why not give Sorted a try?

(Lads’ mag quotes were taken from FHM, Loaded, Nuts and Zoo. Rapist quotes were taken from verbatim interview transcripts in The Rapist Files: Interviews With Convicted Rapists (Sussman & Bordwell).)

Why Gary Speed is not alone

2011-12-06T10:07:00.001Z

Photo credit: Jon Candy/Wikipedia

You may wonder why it took me so long to write about Gary Speed when his tragic death was announced more than a week ago.

It’s because I found the news extremely difficult to believe and digest. Having watched him on Football Focus the day before, I couldn’t accept that this man – with a young family and at the height of his career – could be dead. The realisation that it was suicide blew my mind. This was a man who was loved by family and friends, former teammates, colleagues and football fans across the world.

But whatever was going on behind the scenes, Gary was far from alone in the struggles he faced. According to the latest suicide figures from The Samaritans, men are much more likely to take their own lives than women.

Its research shows that in 2009, 4,309 men in the UK committed suicide compared with 1,371 women. In men under 35, suicide is the second most common cause of death in England and Wales.

So why are so many promising young men choosing to end their lives?

Men are reluctant to talk about feelings. Some of the men in my life would literally rather die than bare their souls
Men often find it difficult to ask for help. They feel as though they should be able to cope with life and that asking for help would compromise their manliness
Because men tend to relate to each other through teasing and banter, some are afraid they will be mocked or not taken seriously
Young boys are often told off for crying because it isn’t manly, and men are told to ‘man up’ if they show any signs of weakness
Men who, like Gary, seem to be really thriving can put a lot of pressure on themselves. If something goes wrong they panic that their whole lives are about to collapse

The inability to discuss feelings and problems can lead to a distorted perspective of the situation. Rather than talk to a spouse, friend or doctor, many men bottle up their fears and constantly dwell on them. When the pressure becomes too great, ideas of suicide can creep in.

Some of the men choose to drink their problems away or escape into a world of sport or computer games – anything that helps them to suspend their fears. Others operate on a rewards system that they think will make them feel better, but actually have a very temporary effect (often followed by a deep sense of guilt).

So what can we do about this?

Avoid unhelpful and condemnatory statements. Some believe suicide is murder and a selfish act but if this is you, it’s probably best to keep these thoughts to yourself. Rather than treating the issue with disapproval or criticism we should be looking for ways to reach out, support and offer practical help.

Take good care of your friends. If you know someone who is going through a tough time, or a friend’s behaviour seems to be changing, don’t turn a blind eye. You don’t have to launch into in-depth discussions about feelings, just make yourself available, listen carefully and encourage your friend to seek professional help.

Offer hope. Whether your friend is a Christian or not, God is the answer. He wants us to live a full and fulfilling life, not one of fear and death. He is our father and friend; someone we can talk to and confide in. The Bible encourages each of us to give all of cares to God, because he cares about us (1 Peter 5:7).

Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

However great someone’s life seems, we all have problems and we all need to know that there is hope. It’s our responsibility to love and pray for the people in our lives and to point them in the right direction(s).

You can call CALM (0800 58 58 58) or The Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) if you or someone you know needs help.

The most memorable memoir I've read

2011-11-25T09:52:00.001Z

Photo: Ian Morgan Cron

Photo credit: Thomas Nelson Publishers

I’ve found some of the Christian books I’ve read a bit cringey. Sometimes the subject matter is good but the writing style is poor or the super-spiritual authors are too far removed from my own experiences to be useful. Some have made me feel like I’m swimming through treacle, which sounds delightful but in practice is pretty hard work (and extremely messy).

So when I was sent Ian Morgan Cron’s book Jesus, My Father, the CIA and Me, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was described as a “memoir of sorts”, which didn’t fill me with hope as I’d never even heard of him. But right from the opening chapter I was drawn in. The writing style was modern, captivating and extremely evocative. In fact, the more I read the more I enjoyed it.

One warning I’d give you is that this memoir should not be read anywhere you might encounter strangers. You will laugh out loud. The story about the “angel”, for example, perfectly captures his fearful, childish imagination. I laughed until my abs hurt.

That’s not to say it’s an entirely comfortable read. It’s likely your laughter will be blended with tears at times (unless you have a heart of stone). However, it’s the lightness of the amusing anecdotes juxtaposed with the painful memories that brings the book to life.

Ian shares tales from his childhood as though they happened yesterday and the descriptions are so vivid you feel as though you have lived through them with him, both the good and the bad; that you know him intimately despite having only met him in the world of print.

It’s his willingness to bring to life the sadness, rejection and humiliation with as much clarity as the more recent, delicious memories of time spent his own children that give the book a rounded, true-to-life feel.

“Every life contains episodes we’d rather not remember, no less commit to paper for others to read, but this is what the memoirist must do or their work will ring false,” explains Ian. “Besides, would you trust a memoir that didn’t include painful or embarrassing moments? Would it even be worth reading?”

The book reveals deep flaws in the relationship between Ian and his father; however there were also some positives to be drawn. His father was a voracious reader who loved beautiful prose. He gave Ian a Merriam Webster dictionary as a going away gift when he left for college, writing in it: “Words—learn to love them”. Ian says: “It’s spooky that he wrote that not knowing I would one day become a writer; or did he know all along? (Play spooky music here!)”

This relationship also made him think seriously about his own role as a father. He has worked extremely hard to ensure his children are loved, encouraged and protected – the evidence of this leaps out of every sentence he writes about his three kids, as well as his ever-patient wife Anne.

“The relationship I have with my children couldn’t be more different than the one I had with my father,” he comments. “For example, I am not afraid to tell my children that I’m sorry when I’ve hurt them or wronged them somehow. My father never would have dreamt of apologising to his children.

“I’m also very physical with my children. I hug them as often as I can. I think that’s terribly important for dads to do.”

Ian became a Christian as a result of hanging out with a bunch of young believers who invested time, effort and money in him – probably developing a few grey hairs in the process. He wasn’t an easy nut to crack; like most of us before we met with God he had “issues”.

But the dedication of these young Christians who accepted him just as he was and were genuinely concerned about him really touched his heart. Having experienced this unconditional friendship, his advice is to treat all people as precious human beings, whatever their backgrounds and beliefs.

Jesus, My Father, the CIA and Me is available across the UK and is worth every penny. His blog is also a great read.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine.

The armed robber who’s giving something back

2011-11-16T09:05:00.001Z

Photo credit: Darrell Tunningley

When I was in primary school, I was still playing shops with my plastic till. Slightly older than me, my brother Stephen was pretending he was He-Man. But if Darrell Tunningley had been there, I imagine he’d have been stealing my chewy hamburgers and coercing He-Man into a vicious battle disguised as his arch nemesis, Skeletor.

Because by the time he reached double-digits, Darrell was fast descending into a dangerous downward spiral. By the age of 11 he was boozing it up and dabbling with drugs. Before long he had graduated to stealing cars, selling narcotics and generally getting up to no good.

The arrests started during his teens and it was clearly only a matter of time before he’d be doing hard time. After committing an armed robbery and thinking he’d got away with it, the young criminal found himself in serious trouble. He was sentenced to a five-and-a-half year stint.

Prison life wasn’t too different form life on Knottingley’s Warwick Estate, where he’d grown up. Having built up a reputation for himself on the outside, no-one was going to mess with him on the inside. He was known for extreme violence, and anyone that crossed him was treated to a generous portion of it.

This is not the kind of guy you’d imagine going to an Alpha Course to learn about Christianity. But after dispatching one aggressive knockback to the guy that invited him, Darrell realised attending the course could actually be a handy skive. He dragged a few friends along and plonked himself in front of the two decrepit nuns in charge of the series.

Initially hostile, Darrell eventually realised there was something special about these women. Not only was he overwhelmed by their love and patience, he actually started to listen to what they were saying. He began to realise God wasn’t as irrelevant as he’d always thought and he suddenly felt he needed answers to the many questions he’d harboured over the years.

After pouring his heart out to this God he’d heard so much about one night in his cell, he expected some kind of lightning bolt revelation but nothing happened. He went to bed feeling rather disappointed.

But the next morning things were very different. Not only did he feel a strong aversion to the cigarettes he’d smoked and the drugs he’d taken for many years, he started to experience a feeling of intense euphoria. The prison chaplain explained to Darrell that Jesus had given him a completely clean slate; that his past had been dealt with and he had been forgiven. He instantly and openly renounced drugs and violence.

This opened him up to certain risks, but overcoming the dangers and difficulties with God’s help only strengthened the sense of peace and joy he was feeling. He rang his former accomplices and told them he was ‘out’. He and several inmates who had also become Christians knew they’d been handed a fresh start and weren’t about to waste it.

Darrell feels God instantly started intervening on his behalf. He was moved to another prison and downgraded from category A (maximum security) offender status to a category C, despite having two years left to serve. He was also asked to lead the prison’s Alpha Course.

The response was incredible and the chapel – which held 500 – was constantly packed. New drug units were opened to cater for the growing numbers of men that had given their lives to Jesus and decided to kick the habit.

Before he was released, Darrell was contacted by Mark Finch, a pastor at church and community centre Hope Corner in Runcorn. Against the better judgement of his Scouse friends, he felt Runcorn was where God wanted him to be. He now spends a good deal of time with the local youth; the next generation of potential drug dealers and armed robbers.

Convinced he would already be dead if his life hadn’t changed so dramatically, Darrell feels hugely privileged to have been given a second chance in life. Not only is he a husband and father, he is now able to show youngsters like himself what it really means to be a man.

Read more about Darrell’s incredible turnaround and work at Hope Corner in the next edition of Sorted magazine, and in Darrell’s book, Unreachable.

Cow-a-bunga bunga: Berlusconi bows out

2011-11-13T13:31:00.001Z

I’m a big fan of comedy, even though it can be a bit close to the bone at times. People often criticise comics like Frankie Boyle, who is known for his foul language and politically incorrect humour. I don’t go to see him because I don’t think he’s funny, but if you’re easily offended, it’s best to give him and others like him a wide berth.

But what about jokes you can’t avoid hearing? Imagine turning on the telly and hearing David Cameron making offensive quips. Ok, so that would never happen… But if you were Italian you could (until now) have expected this on a regular basis from Silvio Berlusconi. If he’s not doing something illegal, he’s saying something that should be. He makes Wubya sound like a silver-tongued rhetorician, as these five ‘Berlusconisms’ show.

“When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said 'Yes', while the other 70% replied, 'What, again?’”
“All of us have a homosexual part of 25%, which I also have. The only thing is that I, after a profound examination, have realised that my homosexual part is lesbian.”
“Ah, Barack Obama. You won't believe it, but the two of them sunbathe together, because the wife is also tanned.”
“I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone; I sacrifice myself for everyone.”
“An Aids patient asks his doctor whether the sand treatment prescribed him would do any good. 'No,' the doctor replies, 'but you will get accustomed to living under the earth'."

And it’s not just his words that have got him in hot water; the now former Italian Premier has been constantly in the papers for his sexual endeavours. Allegations of “bunga bunga” parties (don’t ask) and sex with prostitutes have been rife.

The crusty Casanova has also been charged with some pretty serious offences including: false testimony, links to the Mafia, bribery, illegal financing of a political party, false accounting, embezzlement, tax fraud, corrupting a judge, abusing state flight benefits and child prostitution.

He’s avoided conviction for many of these, mainly on technicalities, but perhaps that says more about his Mafia connections than the accusations do. And then there are the times he has been found guilty and changed, or tried to change, the law to get himself off.

So how on earth did he stay in power for so long? Technically, he’s been sworn in four times! Well, Mafia connections aside, he was a wealthy businessman before coming to power. His company, Mediaset, dominates Italian print and television media and he also owns seven-time European Cup/Champions League winners AC Milan.

My theory is that Italians were initially seduced by his ‘charismatic’ approach, a stark contrast from that of his predecessor Romano Prodi, who was a much quieter (and less mental) leader. I think some admired his wealth, his ability to “get away” with things and his prowess with the ladies. I don’t want to suggest he and Hitler are similar in any way, but his hypnotic hold over people, like Hitler’s, is hard for me to comprehend.

At best, Berlusconi is an utter buffoon. At worst, he is a dangerous, narcissistic pervert who got away with it for far too long. Public opinion has finally turned sour, but it’s worrying that countries are still voting for people whose private lives are toxic and public lives are little better.

Thomas Jefferson famously said that “people get the government they deserve”. Whether this is true or not, we do have a responsibility to get involved with what’s going on in our country and beyond; to vote when we’re given the opportunity and to stand up and be counted when we feel our leaders are getting it wrong.

Most importantly we should pray for our current and future leaders; that God will spare us from ending up with the government we really deserve.

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of magazine Sorted and in its sister publication, Liberti.

All change

2011-11-04T11:24:00.000Z

Photo credit: Coconut85/Wikipedia (Hernandez in his Mexico strip - couldn't bring myself to use a United shot)

I was watching the highlights of the Everton v Man United game on Match of the Day last Saturday when something commentator Guy Mowbray said caught me completely by surprise.

Evra had just supplied a superb ball into the box, providing an easy tap in for Javier Hernandez (Chicharito). It was practically unmissable (unless you’re Fernando Torres, that is).

Following the goal, the young Mexican ran away, slapping the hands of his teammates in celebration. And then he did something we quite often see foreign players do; he lifted his hands heavenwards and thanked God.

This was encouraging to see, but it isn’t what made me jump. It was Guy Mowbray’s comment on the striker’s simple act of thanksgiving that did.

The commentator simply said: “Prayers answered. Thank you for the cross.”

Now I’m not too naïve to realise that he was attempting to voice Hernandez’s feelings and that the “cross” he referred to was Evra’s and not the one on which Jesus died. But it was a great bit of unintentional evangelism none-the-less.

This reminded me of a time a few years ago on the London underground. I was nearly at my destination when I heard some equally startling words. The voice over the intercom blurted: “Kings Cross. All change at Kings Cross.”

These words had a similar effect on me. It was truer than the announcer could possibly have realised! When Jesus, the king of kings, died on the cross, everything – and I mean everything – changed. Forever.

But that’s not it. The “all change” was significant too. To me it reflected the fact that everyone who approaches the cross of Christ can be transformed; our lives can be turned upside down and inside out (in a good way). And the best news is that this change is not just long-lasting; it’s eternal.

Now I’m not suggesting God is using subliminal messages to speak to us through football commentary or tube announcements – although there’s no reason why he shouldn’t. But it’s interesting that even in the most secular of settings, God’s word is inadvertently filtering through.

Maybe it will eventually touch the hearts of some of London’s toughest commuters and even the most debaucherous footballers. I’m not holding my breath over some of the England squad, but everything is possible with God!

Read more football-related content in the next issue of Sorted magazine.

Even better sounds from Stuart Pendred

2011-10-31T09:35:00.000Z

Photo credit: Stuart Pendred

Opera singer Stuart Pendred is an old friend of Sorted. When his first album, Benedizioni (meaning “blessings”), came out, we interviewed him for a full spread in the magazine.

Then, last week, good old Facebook alerted me to the fact he’s releasing a brand new album, Agnus Dei, and that he was dropping in on BBC radio Oxford to give listeners a little taster.

As a youngster, he had grand visions of appearing on the stage as an awe-inspiring Hamlet and bagging himself a couple of Oscars. Being on stage made Stuart feel “alive”, and his sights were firmly fixed on making it big in Hollywood.

He never had any aspirations to be an opera singer when he was growing up; in fact he thought of opera stars as “fat people who shouted at each other in languages [he] … didn’t understand”.

Although he grew up in a Salvation Army setting, the Bedford boy had no experience of classical music. And his parents weren’t impressed about the idea of their son appearing on the stage. “It was positively not encouraged!” he says.

His singing prowess was attracting attention from his drama teachers and, despite his initial reluctance, he was eventually drawn into the opera arena. Members of a new company he helped set up would attend events pretending to be waiters or ‘undercover’ guests and then suddenly burst into song.

According to Stuart, this was a great laugh. But there were a couple of occasions where he almost ended up getting battered by other guests who weren’t in on the surprise.

Dennis Wise’s wedding was one such experience, as Vinnie Jones was the best man. “Having him tell me to shut up was quite an intense experience,” Stuart relates, expecting a good hiding. But once the action man realised what was going on, he saw the funny side.

This was certainly good experience for what was to come. He later found himself singing in front of huge crowds, including thousands of fans at two Six Nations rugby matches. Stuart speaks fondly about the magic of hearing 75,000 people singing along to “Swing Low” or “Jerusalem”.

Photo credit: Stuart Pendred

He also became the ‘voice’ of Chelsea Football Club, the team he had always supported. Having set up a “Three Tenors kind of company”, he and his buddies sent out promotional packs to every Premier League club. Susanna, who was Chelsea manager Ken Bates’ PA at the time (and is now his wife), rang Stuart and the pair came up with a plot for the three singers to sing live for Ken.

Posing as ordinary fans after a Chelsea match, Stuart approached the manager and asked if he could sing for him. After hearing the three lads sing, they instantly became “Ken Bates’ boys”. This opened up plenty of opportunities for Stuart to appear at players’ and staff weddings and other functions.

Despite the fact his dad was a gooner and was convinced his son had been brought up properly, Stuart and his brother had been firmly encouraged in their support of Arsenal rivals Chelsea by their uncle. So standing on that Stamford Bridge turf and getting to know the players, legends and directors well has been a “real honour”.

The new album features more original tracks than Benedizioni and boasts around 36 live musicians compared with seven or eight. Stuart says that it is a reflection of himself; his way of laying his deepest feelings on the line.

The radio station played track eleven from the album; a song called “Sempre Qui”, (“always there”). He explains that he was inspired to write the song after a close friend was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer.

Very sadly, after a furious battle with the disease, he died at the age of 42, leaving behind a wife and two children. Having lost his brother in a car accident and his uncle to cancer, Andy’s death came as a major blow for Stuart. “It was a very dark experience and one that I needed to get out,” he explains.

However, the track is actually a song of hope; reassuring us that there is still purpose and meaning in life. As a Christian, Stuart firmly believes his life is in the hands of his creator and he’s looking forward to whatever lies ahead for him.

The new album is moving, inspiring and full of positivity, so if you’re wondering to get a friend or relative for Christmas, you could do a lot worse than grabbing a copy.

Check out Stuart’s website to buy the album and get the latest news. Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine and in its sister publication, Liberti.

What do Christians, Conservatives and fat cats have in common?

2011-10-19T16:31:00.000+01:00

Photo credit: Harry Metcalfe/Wikipedia

Tomorrow I’ll be interviewing Michael Farmer for Sorted magazine. Michael is an extremely successfully businessman, a Christian, a family man and a big supporter of the Conservative Party (although not necessarily in that order).

As the founder of RK Capital Management, Michael has become one of London’s best-paid fund managers. The company’s main fund, Red Kite, is one of the largest industrial metals hedge funds in the world.

Having left school at 18 and started out earning just £8 a week, the entrepreneur now ships around 15-20% of China's total copper supplies. And that’s a lot of copper. It’s no surprise he’s been nicknamed ‘Mr Copper’ by his peers.

But rather than becoming increasingly greedy after his success with his first company, MG Metals (and after helping to pick up the pieces of it once it was torn apart by Enron), Michael decided to take himself off to Bible School in Cornhill, London. I bet not many of his fellow fund managers have done that.

"The idea of a City financier who's a Christian is sometimes considered a contradiction in terms," Michael told The DailyTelegraph. With the animosity aimed at London’s financial community in recent years, I imagine he’s used to taking a bit of flak. But being a member of the “God Squad” (his words, not mine) is likely to have brought him double trouble.

And these aren’t the only controversies Michael is courting: he’s also responsible for donating £2.3 million to the Tory Party. He’s not one to make a song and dance about this, but he recently decided to defend his actions after hearing Lord Ashcroft criticise London financiers who he claimed were supporting political parties because they stood to gain from it.

"You can call me a City fat cat if you want, but I'm not giving away my hard-earned money for fun. I'm giving it away because I want to fund something I genuine believe: that Cameron and the Tories will be a far better government for the country than Labour," he says.

Having met with David Cameron to discuss the importance of family values, Michael feels the Prime Minister shares his concerns and is sincere about his intentions to preserve family life.

Conversely, Michael believes Labour is responsible for breaking down families; of describing the family unit as a Victorian concept. “Labour's idea of a family is three people who share a fridge," he says. However, as a Christian, husband and father of three, he truly understands the value of family life.

“I know that if things go wrong for me financially, I've got my family to fall back on. If I lost my job or savings, I'd talk to Jenny and we'd discuss belt-tightening, cutting debts, selling the house, whatever it would take to come out the other side. It'd be tough, but far easier together," he concludes.

Do you share Michael’s faith in Mr Cameron? Should the government be involved in family life? Is it right for Church and State should be linked at all? Feel free to leave comments and any question suggestions below. Be quick though – the interview starts at 10am GMT.

You can read the full story – with exclusive comment from Michael Farmer – in the next issue of Sorted magazine.

Why iLove the iPhone

2011-10-14T15:02:00.000+01:00

Photo credit: Apple

We all know the English love to queue, but where the iPhone is involved it seems ‘queue fever’ is fast becoming an international pastime – even the French are getting the hang of it.

Unsurprisingly, the iPhone 4S has drawn crowds to stores around the world today, with thousands queuing through the night to get their hands on the latest model. According to reports, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is first in the queue outside his local Apple store in California. You’d have thought they’d have given the poor guy one for free…

The newest handset boasts a faster processor and better camera than the iPhone 4. It also comes with Siri, a voice-controlled 'personal assistant' that can make appointments, send messages and even answer questions. What’s not to like?

The first person to buy an iPhone 4S from the Apple Store in London's Covent Garden said he was desperate to get to bed having been up all night waiting for the shop to open. But not before he’s had a good play with it of course.

I must admit, when I got my first iPhone I couldn’t wait to get it home. I disobeyed the 16-hour charging rule, plugged it on and started working out what to press (I’d like to say I carefully read the instruction booklet, but that would be rather misleading).

Needless to say, it was awesome; it totally met and even exceeded my expectations. I still struggle to text with it, but that’s probably more to do with my fat fingers than the phone itself.

I’m certainly not the most technical person around, but I know what I like, and I definitely like the iPhone. I know there’ll be a lot of people out there who think it’s overrated (feel free to leave comments), but in my opinion it’s still making the headlines for all the right reasons.

I know it’s a cliché, but I really can’t imagine how I ever lived without it. I can check my emails wherever I am, navigate my way out of continual lostness with the map app and while away many a boring hour with a game of Angry Birds. Okay, so the game probably makes me angrier than the birds, but it’s totally addictive.

The danger with gadgets like the iPhone is that, like social networking sites, they can affect the way we spend time and relate to others. Don’t get me wrong, not all communication has to be face-to-face, but I’d definitely rather have a coffee with a real person than be glued to a piece of metal all day.

While a phone can help us keep in touch with people, the more technology it offers the more distracted we can become. Do you find yourself scrolling away on your phone while your best friend is trying to tell you something? Do you find yourself reaching for your phone before you say hi to your wife in the morning?

If so, I suggest you introduce a self-enforced ban for a week so you can get a bit of perspective back (and probably earn yourself some brownie points)! I’m sure the ban could wait a while if you’ve been up all night queuing for the iPhone 4S.

Let us know your thoughts on the hottest gadgets around and whether you think they are changing our lives for the better or the worse. If you’re the lucky owner of the new iPhone, let us know your thoughts on it!

You can read more about the latest gadgets in the upcoming edition of Sorted magazine, or its sister publication, Liberti.

Breasts like clusters of grapes

2011-10-04T10:26:00.000+01:00

Photo credit: Flagstaffotos.com.au

I don’t normally laugh when I read the Bible, but two passages I read this morning made me laugh.

The first was an extract from Song of Songs, the strangest book in the Bible in my opinion. The story focuses on the blossoming relationship between a young man “he” and woman “she”, who express their love for one another in truly poetic terms. Every now and then, there is an interjection from their “friends”.

This book is interesting because there is no overt reference to God at all and it’s pretty sensual. However, it is often interpreted as an allegorical representation of the relationship between God and Israel, God and the Church, and the husband and wife.

This doesn’t sound like an amusing backdrop, but to me it has a strong, if purely accidental, comedic edge.

Let’s look at the way “he” describes his lover. His opening statement is: “I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses” (Song of Songs 1:9). Not the best compliment I’ve ever heard.

He goes on to say her eyes are like doves, her hair like a flock of goats, her teeth like a flock of sheep just shorn (each has its twin; not one of them is alone) and her temples like the halves of a pomegranate.

Photo credit: Jacquie Wingate/Wikipedia

According to the girl’s lover, her neck is like the tower of David, her breasts like twin fawns of a gazelle (or clusters of grapes on the vine), her navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine, her waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies, her neck is like an ivory tower and – my personal favourite – her nose is like the tower of Lebanon.

Meanwhile, “she” describes him as “a sachet of myrrh” resting between her breasts. She goes on to say he is like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, like a gazelle or a young stag, like a column of smoke perfumed with myrrh and incense.

She claims his cheeks are like beds of spice, his arms are rods of gold set with topaz, his body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli and his legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold.

Okay, so I’ve picked out the descriptions that most amused me – there were other more complimentary similes, particularly about the woman. And I’m also sure these descriptions held meanings that I didn’t appreciate: suggestions of fertility, prosperity, strength and beauty, for example.

But I can’t help imagining this woman with her muttony teeth, pomegranate forehead and tower-like nose rendezvousing with her apple tree beloved with his spicy cheeks and marble legs.

So that’s the first passage that tickled me. The second was a single verse, Proverbs 21:9, which says: “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

That doesn’t need much explanation, as far as I’m concerned, but again the imagery amused me. In fact, it reminded me of the well-known black and white picture of workmen eating their lunch on a crane hanging over New York (click here to view). It suddenly took on a whole new meaning for me after reading that verse.

Please feel free to leave comments. You can read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine, and in its sister publication Liberti.

What we can learn from the ‘bipolar’ penguin

2011-09-28T09:08:00.004+01:00

Photo credit: Martin St-Amant/Wikipedia

Penguins are my favourite animals. From the time I could talk, family zoo trips centred around one thing and one thing only: penguin feeding time. Nothing came between me and my penguins.

After years of study, the conclusion I’ve come to is that penguins are kind of bipolar. On land they waddle in such a delightfully ungainly way it almost breaks my heart. Even fully grown penguins look like clumsy toddlers when they’re on the ice.

But once they’re in the water they are sublime. They glide through the water with utter grace and ease. If you’ve ever been to an aquarium where they swim over your head you will understand the true joy that only penguins can bring.

I think humans can be a bit like that too. When we’re doing something we love we dive straight in. But if it takes us out of our comfort zones we take much smaller, waddlier steps, praying no-one will push us in.

So what can we do about this? Well first, we should make the most of the skills we have. Whether you’re a great doctor, a talented musician or a meticulous cleaner, it’s great to use our gifts to benefit ourselves and others.

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells a story about three servants who are given ‘talents’ (coins) to look after, and grow, for their master. The first two double what they were given, while the third simply buries his in case it gets stolen. His ‘lack of talent’ results in his coin being taken from him and given to one of the others, who is sure to make use of it. The message is simple: use it or lose it.

Now I don’t like to boast, but I’m an expert hugger. Even before my penguin craze began, my parents could pass me to anyone and I would throw my chubby arms around their necks with glee – to the great surprise of several Santas we visited. It’s something I enjoy for the effect it produces in me and because is an act of giving to someone else. Simple as it is, I believe this is a gift and I intend to use it.

Photo credit: Ken Funakoshi/Wikipedia

But what happens when we’re tested in an area of minus talent? Ask me to evacuate a spider or climb a tall building and I will fall to pieces (not literally in case you thought that was another of my gifts). Ask me to draw a picture or play the oboe and I’ll just laugh. Give me a medical chart and a scalpel and I’ll run away as fast as I can (not very, as chance would have it).

So should I berate myself for my shortcomings? I don’t think so. We can’t be good at everything, right? But there are three important principles here. The first is that we shouldn’t accept failure without giving things a good go. Didn’t your granny tell you that “if you don’t at first succeed, try, try, try again”?

Secondly, if it’s something we’re not good at but NEED to be, we should ask for God’s help. Peter didn’t think he could walk on water until he gave it a go and fixed his eyes on Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33). It was his fear that nearly drowned him, not his (or God’s) inability.

Finally, God can work through us whatever our limitations. Just look what Moses achieved despite having a severe speech impediment. Paul points out that God’s power is actually made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

So rather than doddering by the side of the pool like penguins, stumbling over every obstacle in our way, let’s jump in and at least make a big splash. We might not be graceful gliders right away, but it’s better to try and fail than not to try at all. We can trust God to do the rest.

Please feel free to leave comments. You can read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine and in its sister publication, Liberti. If you love penguins, you'll love this clip.