No, this is not a breakthrough. Get out now. NOW! Go! Run, don’t walk!

You shouldn’t have to call the police to get him to do something reasonable (like, say, give you your keys, or let you in the house, etc.) You shouldn’t have to say, “I think we’re done” after an episode like that. You shouldn’t have to live like this.

My wife and I have had drama, but never quite like you have had. Oh, the stories I could tell. But while the mistreatment I’ve taken from my wife is so much more subtle than what your beau is doing to you — so subtle that we were able to get married, have kids, pretend to have the proverbial American Dream — in the end, even our house of cards can not stand.

Like you, I keep saying to myself, “Maybe it’s not so bad.” And like you, I’ve struggled to just hold on to my daily routine; to not upset the applecart so that I can just go to work, read my e-mail, have lunch, etc. Of course, my daily routine now includes kids (who I love dearly, by the way, and am blessed to have in my life).

But a bad relationship eats at your soul like acid. Slowly. Like an ulcer. Until eventually, you realize that you don’t enjoy your food any more. You realize you don’t laugh any more. You look at friends of yours with seemingly happy relationships, and it hurts because you think… could I have ever been happy like that?

Your beau might not even be a bad guy. It could be that, in fact, he has what it takes to be a fine partner.

But obviously, he doesn’t have what it takes to be a fine partner for YOU. And you are not going to find long-term happiness with him.

It has taken me years to finally start to stir out of my soul-crushing complacency. I know it’s very, very difficult. But in the long run, you must leave him. Before you pass the point of no return and can never find your smile again.

You are a beautiful soul. You deserve to be happy. You will not find long term happiness with him. However good he *can* be, he isn’t good for *you*.

You asked. This is one person’s answer. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it’s always easier to solve other people’s quandaries than it is to solve your own. (ie: do what I say, not what I do!)

My advice to you: flee. Start over. Reboot. Reset. Find your smile. I’ll bet it’s beautiful.