southbeachannie

What do I REALLY want?

2011-11-20T13:24:00.000-05:00

Why do I always ask the tough questions? I guess I’m just wired that way…I like to ponder. This question in particular has been nagging me for weeks now...What do I really want? What? Really now.

The answer is quite simple. I want to be happy. Happiness entails freedom from worry, disenchantment, struggle or conflict. It is a sense of peace mostly within oneself. To achieve it, one must be harmonious with others, nature and true to one’s inner self. It fills the heart with satisfaction of doing the right thing, making good thought out decisions and living up to one’s ideals. Being happy is also quite vague.

I cannot be happy without having meaning. What I do or dedicate myself must have meaning. The lack of it makes me feel empty. However, choosing what might be meaningful is not always that easy. It takes more than contributing to society. It has to be fulfilling at some spiritual or emotional depth so that pleasure kicks in. Gee, I’m getting complicated now…is happiness possible?

Dealing with Fears

2011-10-16T23:29:00.000-04:00

According to Wikipedia: Fear is an emotional response to a threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.

So let's ask the following questions:

Is there a real threat?
Will you survive?
Are you in danger?

Let's think about the economy and current challenges the world is facing.

Is there a real threat? As far as I can tell, there are still plenty of places to live and things to eat. Are basic needs really going to not be covered regardless of employment issues or bank statements?

Will you survive? Why not? This is not the end of the world, just a paradigm shift. Ride it out.

Are you in danger? Physical, mental, emotional dangers vary. This question takes a little more reflection. However, money comes and goes. Is the ego or identity you house with material things making you sick with worry? Is stuff really that important? What are you really going to lose if anything at all?

We are living in an era pregnant with fear. I feel it all started with 9-11 and the tragedy of the Twin Towers. To me, fear is almost un-American. We have always been known as a country of adventuresome, brazen and inventive people. Fear kills American ingenuity. If we succumb to fear, the bad-guys win. Whoever those bad guys are...if you find them in a dark alley, be sure to run fast. Otherwise, be brazen and live out loud! Unless your life is really in some danger or threat, fear is a useless emotion.

Happy Hispanic Heritage Month!

2011-10-05T15:32:00.000-04:00

I think any explanation of what it means to be Hispanic is mostly weak. However, I think this video my friend Gema sent me does it beautifully. It is all encompassing, a mix, a rebellious spirit, a connection...

Enjoy!!

Lonely Hearts Online

2011-09-25T02:52:00.000-04:00

I’m no stranger to online chats, personals and dating sites. It was my oasis after my divorce in 2000 when I was clueless to what was out there. However, I am really worried about what has been happening in that cyber world of singles and mingles with all the wrong motives. It has and is destroying too many relationships and psyches. It definitely is taking a toll on my mind.

Infidelity is taking a new dimension online and it is really frightening. It ruined a high profile career this year in NY State. It has ruined multiple relationships I know of close friends of mine. It has also caused marriages out of these virtual unions that many times last longer than traditional courtship ones.

What disturbs me is that it isn’t real. I’ve had online friendships and met many people through social media, but the majority of these connections I’ve had throughout the years are based on fiction. There are also many extremely lonely people on these sites that have lost their ability to connect and relate to real people. The “safeness” of online romances is taking over dealing with real feelings and issues in daily life relationships. The fantasy of love and acceptance is virtual, not three-dimensional.

And yet, feelings are feelings. If you dream about a cyber friend/mate, then it is real in your brain. Except, it is a fantasy world. This is not reality and like an old movie I loved in the eighties called Brainstorm, it can really distort your life and views, perhaps even your values.

It has come to the point that I even use FB with caution. In reality, I don’t know most of my “friends” and have no idea who they are. It really freaks me out when I’m addressed directly by someone and I have no idea of who they are. It is different when people introduce themselves and give some sort of reference as to who, what and why they are addressing you. But out of the blue, writing as if they know you? Pretty freaky!

...then there are the emotional predators, but that will be another blog.

Freedom

2011-09-19T17:20:00.000-04:00

What is the meaning of Freedom? I hear Janice Joplin singing in my mind. I feel the defiance with which I have lived. I know the price of freedom and the addictive quality of having and keeping it. It is a wild streak within the Figueredo family...we are fiercely independent. It is not always the best trait to have.

On the other hand, it is wonderful to be free! I do what I want, when I want with whomever I want. It feels pretty damn good! I chose this too. When I was growing up and saw the life many of my peers had ahead of them, I ran. I flew down to Miami the day after I graduated from high school to avoid the marriage and children thing. Then the bohemian life set in and I haven't left it since. It has been a great ride! Sometimes my life has been irresponsible, sometimes lonely, but mostly adventurous and mainly happy. I am at peace with my decisions.

It is probably more of a burden on those around me who don't really understand why I won't show up when I don't feel like company. Sometimes I choose to spend weekends in solitude or vacation alone. Holidays are usually a nuisance for me and I prefer to hang with old friends than relatives most of the time. I pursue my projects and interests completely absorbed and unaware of how time passes. It makes me forgetful and sometimes unaware of other obligations.

I forgot to grow up. Many times I've stormed out of jobs, relationships and situations without looking back with the maturity level of a three year old. "I'm done!" I'd think and walk away without really knowing what the outcome would be and then of course the repercussions would come later.

Now is that freedom? Well, if you think of how some women live in oppressive societies then yes. Even some orthodox groups in our own country keep women from experiencing the joys of traveling or going out on adventures as I have. Women don't always get to truly discover who they are without being identified with a spouse, her parents or children.

I always think of the Billie Holiday song "Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do!" and "if I get the notion to jump into the ocean, ain't no body's business if I do..." I believe it is a true anthem of freedom.

Adjusting

2011-08-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

I've always thought of myself as maladjusted. Something just doesn't fit about me. It might be from my non-conformist family; being told I'm different; or just that I don't usually feel like I'm part of what "seems" to be happening around me.

It seems strange to be told I'm different when I've always felt the same. I have always been me, ever since I was born. There are things I find funny, amusing or interesting that hold my attention. Most other things slip through my mind as easily and swiftly as a summer breeze.

Then there is adjusting. Each time a new job, person, thing or object comes into my life there is some adjusting to do. They all take space you know. The real estate can exist in my living room, mind or office. It doesn't matter. It can even be how time is being invested, hopefully not spent. The ripple effect spreads through the sea of my thoughts and I won't ever be the same.

Isn't it lovely?

We are never the same after impacting a space, place or mind. Never!! The effect lingers and the imprint is cast. This is very personal.

If nothing else, I invite you to ponder whether you spend or invest your time.

Going Green!

2011-08-16T22:33:00.000-04:00

Have you considered going green with your business or even in your home and daily living? There are many options you may take to better your lifestyle, environment and budget by going green.

Here are some choices you can make:

*Energy conservation and efficiency
*Tax credits, rebates, and other financial incentives
*Learning how to buy Green products and services
*Clean Water and Conservation
*Recycling strategies
*Living toxic free at both home and work
*Energy-efficient lighting
*Air quality control
*Green your building or home

Get a head start on the Green movement and benefit at many levels. Let’s have a conversation on how going green can improve all the facets of your life and the planet as a whole.

Effort

2011-07-28T17:41:00.000-04:00

If I make an effort to achieve something...I'm probably not feeling it. There is something forced about effort. All good things in life should come effortlessly. Living with ease and grace is the opposite of effort; it is effortless. Although achieving the effortless grace and ease might come at a considerable amount of discipline and practicing beforehand.

Any relationship, friendship or partnership that requires effort leading to mental, emotional or intellectual exhaustion should be avoided. Life should be like a dance and your body should sway with the rhythms that present themselves while your feet follow the tempo. After a few moments of figuring it out, it should come naturally. It becomes second nature like breathing.

Life can be like a rollercoaster ride. Just imagine how wonderful it is when you can raise your arms in the air and trust the force of gravity while your hair whips wildly with the speed of the ride. It doesn't require any effort. It requires letting go and enjoying life as it comes.

Mortality

2011-07-23T22:25:00.000-04:00

The news of Amy Winehouse’s death struck me with a sense of grief I’ve been feeling a lot lately. I wonder if people realize how precious every moment of our lives is when they are living it. Each time you experience a real connection, shared moments of peace, joy, fear, elation, shared satisfaction, rage or repent in real time. Do most people ever feel how alive they are? Is fear overrunning our existence or just making us find more weapons of mass distraction in hyper-sensational activities?

I was wondering the other day, if expressing love and caring has become too passe. Is it too old fashioned or absurdist due to overuse? Does it mean anything after the up-tenth marriage or union to feel madly and hopelessly in love? Is the fear of FaceBook or dating sites destroying relationships going to completely obliterate old-fashioned courtship? Will Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony remain friends? Does anyone know how intense and profound Jenny McCarthy showing her inflated pregnant body means in a world where women rather are thought of as hot rather than accomplished?

In this failed economy, I’ve been asked to work from 8am to 6pm and then resume work in the evening and weekends to file reports of my activities. I’ve owned two businesses in my life and never worked that hard! How does anyone choose to work over living and experiencing life? Does each day only seem like a gift to a few of us? Even if you own all the profits and benefits to your own success, what does it buy you in the end?

As a child, I’d frighten myself trying to imagine death. I’d hold my breath and try to imagine an empty void of nothingness. The whole floating on a cloud with cherubs or burning in hell just didn’t convince me. I saw lifeless inanimate beings and felt the life source was out of them. It, the live force, was merely over.

Now, I think of a profound sleep and the pain of waking from it. Death must be something like that drifting into nothingness and never returning. It doesn’t scare me, but I still have a lot of living and experiencing to do. So, Death, if you are reading this, I’m not done yet. There is a lot more I need to see and do before I’m done on this plane of existence.

Back to Amy…Artists are sometimes so sensitive, so aware, that it is earth shattering to be them. Imagine if a song, a tune or combination of words can break your heart or take your breath away for an instant. What is that artist experiencing? It blows my mind to try to fathom it. I can only try to imagine that intensity.

Amy was an original, a great talent and true artist, but also a troubled soul. Honestly, because of her youth I didn’t take her breakup with her husband seriously. I didn’t see her addictions as something that would win over the beautiful soul I saw within her. I hoped as I do with Whitney Houston, that they would come back stronger and wiser with a real “forget” you attitude and show the world they could overcome hard challenges. I still hope for Whitney as I hope for Tiger and even that thrill-seeking New York politician exposing his sexual emptiness online.

We all have faults and weaknesses, and it is what makes us both human and lovable. It is wonderful to share space with a true friend or lover where you can just hang loose and be the real idiot no outsider will ever know. It is quite delicious. I prefer to stay home or visit people who I share this strange feeling with often. Life has taught me that the satisfaction of life is not external. Happiness is within us and meant to be shared. If we are lucky, we can express it to those wonderful people around us and feel completely connected and free.

I wish that for all of you reading this!

Happiness

2011-07-22T20:23:00.000-04:00

Happiness is the life force itself. The Chinese dragon is a depiction of that energy. It is wild and exciting filled with possibility. Like life itself it is unpredictable and can not be controlled or tempered. It is the surprise of the unexpected and the promise of the unknown.

Life is a one way ride that can be very enjoyable. One of the greatest joys in life is to wake up to a new day of adventure. If seeing life as an adventure is possible, then it is rarely mundane. To embrace each moment and breathe in elements of change is essential for happiness.

Personally, I am happy because I choose to be so. I love taking naps. Getting fresh air. Washing my face. Calling a friend. Lounging with good company. Deciding what beverage will quench my thirst. These are all pleasurable experiences for me that bring me joy. I like laughing out loud and embarrassing others or myself with our humanity. It is fun to be human. We are cute, funny and sometimes really awkward beings.

A sunny day with a cool breeze is happiness. It makes everything look a little sharper. Animals get frisky and people wear soft knits that usually make them look nice. The last few days have had that quality and the sun is at an angle that gives off golden light in the late afternoon. I love this time of year…

The ability to appreciate simple pleasures is happiness.

Risk Taking and Courage...

2011-07-20T12:40:00.000-04:00

"It takes courage to love," says Maya Angelou to Dave Chappelle on Iconoclasts for the Sundance Channel. Yes, I must agree. "You risk everything," she smiles with a knowing nod and my heart breaks.

A few years ago, I had a health scare where I feared to have begun my road towards heart disease. My blood pressure had become very much elevated and I was experiencing chest pains. The philosopher within me was seeing the metaphor of how many times my heart has been broken and how much I've subjected my feelings to. I've been rough on my emotions and lived quite intensely. Maybe the time had come to give my heart a little break and take some medication to ease the work it goes through.

After a series of tests, I discovered the old tick tock is doing just fine. My blood pressure is okay and my beat goes on splendidly. So much for my lapse into middle age, apparently my body isn't ready to age just yet. I'm getting a second chance to do better for myself and work on maintenance. Time for some gratitude and a health kick!!

How does this apply to risk taking and courage? Well, it hasn't killed me yet!!

As I look back on my life, I think I've lived somewhat recklessly. I've quit jobs at a whim. Kicked people out of my life for whatever reason I felt was important at the time. I've traveled across the country for the hell of it for an adventure. I pursued and met the most intriguing people because I just had to, traveled with them and collaborated on fascinating projects together.

What is the price of risk taking? Oh, I love my life. My choices have separated me from many dear people and also created a lot of loneliness when others don't understand why I must do what I do. I've lost many things along the way, but oh the wonderful insights and lessons I've earned. There are many battle scars on my warrior soul, but the journey into the unknown has been amazing.

In retrospect, I don't know if I've really had courage. Maybe the biggest element of my choices has been the fear of being miserable in complacent living. Settling for unhappiness is the most frightening thought that kills the human spirit. Heaven forbid!!

I have to be me…Pa’lante!!

Making A Difference

2011-07-10T17:58:00.000-04:00

Life has blessed me with the immense opportunity and privilege to have made a difference in many young lives. My career in education started in the late 1980s and spanned until a year or so ago. I taught hundreds of children how to bring literature to life, write whimsical tales and read fluently. However, the most important thing I taught anyone was compassion and self respect. That was relayed upon these young minds through example and storytelling. It came across through my simply loving them and listening to their stories. It reached their hearts through how I'd look at them and greet them in the morning. It stayed with them because it was sincere and heartfelt.

That skill and open heartedness permeated my life and way of being. It was like a Zen practice and just became the way I interact with people. Upon meeting me, most people feel it. It is a warm understanding and appreciation of another person's being. It is rooted in my own understanding and acceptance of me.

Fortunately, I was given the opportunity to travel around the country and spread this method of teaching to many school districts and teachers. As I was teaching them how to use innovative technologies and software, I also taught them teaching strategies that inspire both children and adults alike. I spoke very openly about compassion. Technology is just an excuse, I'd tell them.

Basically, I truly believe that the best way to make a difference is to live according to your beliefs. Live with conviction, principals and integrity...it doesn't have to be exposed or berated. Just live the example and live the dream.

This type of attitude permeates your life and instantly influences others. There is no escaping it.

Maintaining Inner Peace

2011-06-23T20:38:00.000-04:00

How do you maintain your inner peace? Do you pray, do yoga, run, or talk to a friend? What creates the balance in your life?

Stress is one of the leading killers in our society. It is linked to cancer, heart disease and obesity. A stressed person is very unlikely to close a deal, sell wares or attract positive people and situations. Stress also ages people prematurely causing wrinkles and gray hair.

So what can you do about stress?

***Read for pleasure
***Do exercise
***Get fresh air
***Have a bubble bath
***Draw, take pictures or do some other creative activity
***Take a scenic drive somewhere or even to work
***Pray/Visualize/Meditate

Try incorporating at least one of these activities this week. If possible try to have one of these activities at least every other day. The goal should be to have a stress reducing activity at least once a day. If you are too hectic, work on achieving three a week. The immediate outcome is that you will feel better. The long-term outcome is that you will live longer.

Invest in yourself and your inner peace.

Anyway...

2011-06-12T12:12:00.000-04:00

You see things as you see them, because you can’t see them any other way. It is a very difficult and hurtful position at times. Everyone is an island. We all process information with our own brains, not anyone else’s. Attempts to see anything from another person’s perspective is probably impossible. And yet, we should never give up trying to be compassionate.

I really love what Amanda Gore has to say. She understands how we are all stuck in our own heads and tries to help people unglue themselves from their own mental shackles. Now, I am definitely a “Tadaist” and happy to be one.

Years ago, I used to walk into my manager’s office and sang the Mighty Mouse song, “Here I come to save the day!!” She would look at me as if I were out of my mind and wish me a “good morning and please go away!!” This was a theme in my life I sadly noticed repeating itself way too often.

Regardless, my happy go lucky attitude has worked for me. It doesn’t save me from bitter, emotional vampires though. I’ve been told once too often that I’m “too nice” or “too good” to undeserving people. How could I be different? These comments really send out red flags for me.

It really seems insane.

If we aren’t gentle, kind and fun-loving people with each other…what’s the alternative? I’m quite fine with whatever disappointments life brings my way. I’m going to be nice to you anyway. However, if I perceive you are undeserving, then you will be shut out. It works and I don’t have to be something I’m not.

Follow Your Heart

2011-06-05T11:53:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago, after another excruciating day of two weeks as juror in a Federal case, I decided to escape the Miami heat and reality for a couple of hours to view Julie & Julia. It was absolutely delightful and if you haven't already, you must all see it immediately!! I ate popcorn drenched in butter and delighted in how writing, blogging and food all melded into a wonderful tale. The most poignant detail of the film was about the depth of friendship that exists in a true marriage. How challenges, triumphs and the constant support mates offer each other defines who we ultimately are. In both tales, the featured heroines had great men behind them nudging them on and enjoying their accomplishments.

The underlying element that should move and compel all of you is to follow your passion in life. Writing, eating, cooking or competing to be the best do whatever it takes. Find what that fire in your belly is and get on with it!! The message is clear, honest and truthful showing how it really isn’t that easy. There is a lot of heartbreak in the process. Then the rewards are plentiful…

So what is my point tonight? Follow your heart! “Do you,” as Russell Simmons says. See this movie and take some courage pills before you run out of time. Don’t let the opportunity to shine pass you by.

Influences

2011-06-04T13:46:00.000-04:00

Everything around us influences how we think and react. The colors on your walls, furniture, the daily weather, how you fit in your jeans, your friends, your lovers, the way people walk and drive around you, the interactions at the drive thru window, the balance on your bank account, how your hair looks...you name it. The moment you believe an event or person in your life isn't influencing you, you are lost. It all matters, every bit of it. Accordingly, everything you do matters and influences the world around you. There is no escape.

As you are reading this, I am affecting your psyche. You may agree, connect or completely turn off with my words and ideas. Like it or not, you will never be the same. I have just ingrained my thoughts and words into your brain. We are now connected.

If you really digest this, then I plead to you to be gentle. Be aware of your thoughts, actions and reactions. We are all a part of each other and have a huge impact on the world. The challenge is to be the person you admire and share it with the world for all to enjoy.

Let's elevate each other!!

Living in the Now

2011-06-02T17:49:00.000-04:00

Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite authors. I highly recommend his book The Power of Now, because it teaches the reader how to be completely present and in the moment.

Yesterday, I was visiting friends and enjoying the company of a four-year old boy. The boy and I were sharing scary stories about monsters and superheroes. One of my friends commented on how completely attuned I was with the child and his stories. I wondered, how could I not be? I was enthralled by my young storyteller and very much interested on how his mind created a beginning, middle and end. Lately, I've been in the habit of silencing my cell phone. It is quite annoying for many whom are trying to contact me. However, I have found that I enjoy giving 100% attention to certain people or tasks at hand. I've lost the need to constantly be available to everyone. It is retro I guess and reflective of the era of my life without cell phones before 1995. Wouldn't it be grand if people really started to listen and pay attention to each other? Cell phones, televisions, computers and newspapers can be weapons of mass distraction. We often hide behind them and ignore what is in front of us. I feel the best way to enjoy today is to banish these distractions for a while and just listen; even if there is nothing in particular to listen to. Remember the old signs in libraries that said, "silence is golden?" I think it might be used in movie theaters now. Well, sometimes the sound of your own breathing can be a miraculous sound to hear. Try spending 10 minutes in silence and just hear the ambient noise or your own heart beating. You will feel your own presence and life force. You will appreciate a moment within yourself and in your own company. Perhaps you will learn the power of living in the now. And then, you might just figure out what you want to do next.

“If I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution.” Emma Goldman

2011-06-01T17:08:00.000-04:00

“If I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution.” Emma Goldman

As serious as we take ourselves or our causes, there is always a need for levity. The outcome of whatever you might do is better if a sense of fun and joy is in the mix. Emma Goldman dedicated her life to her causes and making important changes for society. Yet, she always had time for love, friends and having a good time. Much of this is reflected in her letters to her friends and lovers. She is as playful as she is passionate with the people in her life. I think that is what has always made her so compelling to me as both a person and a woman. She lived according to her ideals and still had a good time.

In reference to the revolution, I think people can be so adamant about a cause of movement they lose sight of their own humanity. We all need balance in our lives. Not every movement we make has meaning; not every gesture has significance; sometimes we just need to be.

When discussing life with friends, we have similar philosophies in life and see things from a similar perspective. Despite our ages, we agree on needing peace at this stage in our lives, limited drama and the ability to enjoy being ourselves without constant nagging. The perfect friendship or relationships are based on mutual support, enjoying each other as well as our own space and sharing ideas openly.

It sadness me that during this last women's history month, I had asked many women to be featured on my online magazine as outstanding women in my community. Not one of them responded or accepted this invitation. One of my best male friends says it is because I historically haven't good relationships with women. I have trouble accepting this, but many incidents prove it to be true.

Alas, my online magazine is no more!

Regardless of the reason or circumstance, I send out my good will to ALL my sisters!

Sharing

2011-05-31T15:16:00.000-04:00

One day, I came home with my beloved and quickly changed into my fuzzy slippers. The man laughed so hard I thought he might break. I didn't know quite how to react. Apparently, he got a huge kick out of my silly behavior while in private. So, the next time he was over I presented him with his own pair of ridiculous fuzzy slippers to delight in. You see, sharing is everything to me. I love to be comfortable, relax and enjoy the simple things in life. Having someone to be silly with in fuzzy slippers is immensely pleasurable to me.

Laughter is one of the most wonderful experiences to share. To laugh at one's self, a movie, jokes or any shared experience is huge. It is fun! Fun is an extremely important ingredient to living a healthy and happy existence. According to Buddhism, levity can save you from the vicious cycle of confusion. It is a lot like the seven deadly sins in Judeo-Christian tradition. Only instead of strict rules of conduct, a good sense of humor can be your salvation.

“Perspective is in the Eye of the Beholder.” Omar Lopez Chahoud

2011-05-30T12:47:00.000-04:00

I’ve only seen the world from my own eyes, so it is difficult to discuss perspective in a detached or observant way. My perspective has been mostly positive and optimistic throughout my life. I seldom think the worse of people or their motives; however, I can be somewhat guarded. Perhaps I am merely careful.

Somehow, I always feel things will work out. I don’t sit around waiting for things to happen, but I visualize what I want a lot. Even if many people think its bunk, I subscribe to the teachings of The Secret and the power of positive thinking. It doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is going to be rich, but I believe you end up having the life you think you should have. Like the quote from Henry Ford, “If you think you can or you think you can’t; either way you are right.”

In recent conversations with a new friend, we’ve discussed different perspectives on a shared conversation. I totally understood something different to what was being said to me. It was clarified to me that I was participating in my own paradigm and not receiving the information accurately. It may very well be true and quite intellectual. However, I believe I just understand what I want to understand when anyone speaks to me.

Then there are lies…well, as much as I detest liars, I confess to being the biggest liar in my own life. I lie to myself all the time and only believe what I want to believe. No one has placed a mask or veil over any truth more so than I. I hear the truth in front of me and choose to believe another interpretation. It is sick, I know. I am guilty.

And yet, I rather be me than anyone else I know. I love my own delusions and live happily within them. I want to see the world through my rose colored glasses and never see that the Emperor has no clothes. Let me be, I like it like that!!

Letting Go...

2011-05-29T10:29:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, I was part of a burning bowl ritual. It entails writing things to let go of down on a piece of paper and setting it on flames. The ritual is both symbolic and satisfying because it is tangible and physical. We all understand the finality of fire. The list of things to let go of can be as follows:

Perceptions of inadequacy
Anger or resentment towards others
Fears
Feelings of lack or financial limitations
General negativity or depression

In the book The Artist's Way, there are exercises like this requiring automatic writing that I always guided my class to tear to shreds after purging the mental garbage expressed. It may be more practical than setting anything on fire. My point is that a list or an essay should be written about all the things you wish to release from your mind, life or consciousness. Then dispose of it in a visually and physically satisfying way. Afterwards, walk away from it completely and continue your life free and clear of it. Another exercise with the same effect is from Amanda Gore. Imagine having a sack of potatoes filled with one potato for each resentment and unfortunate thing that has ever occurred in your life. Carry the sack around for as long as you can bear it while the potatoes rot and weigh on you. See how people react to your carrying such a load on your back and how unattractive your issues really are. (www.amandagore.com) As much as this seems like a recipe, the special ingredient is your commitment to make it real.

Balancing the Teacher and Student Within...

2011-05-28T11:40:00.004-04:00

We are all both teachers and students throughout our lives. Sometimes we teach a lesson, sometimes we learn, most times we do a little of each. I am a veteran of sales and business, yet I always learn from my colleagues. I especially love learning from younger people. Their ideas are fresh and new with an enthusiasm that many older people might lack. I enjoy new ideas immensely and it refreshes my own approach towards what I do.

Recently, I was told I was being humble as I listened to a young speaker. Well, I was busy learning. How many times does it take to practice a new tune on a piano? Why should I believe I know everything? Are there ever enough times you can hear the truth or a new perspective on something that you do daily? Who is to say I have all the answers?

Yes, I have been a teacher for many. The best thing I can offer my students is my love of learning. I want to learn something-new everyday until I breathe my last breath. The most exciting part of my day is when I am surprised at a new discovery. I love the unexpected, because it has a new twist in my life's outcome.

The best relationship in business as well as one's personal life is where there is give and take. Roles change according to what strengths each person brings to the table. It is regenerative in nature because it is always evolving. Like in dancing, each dancer takes the lead at a different point in time. Or in an orchestration, each instrument has a solo or prominent role for a while so we can enjoy the splendid sound it gives.

Find someone in your life you can teach something special to. Choose a strength or talent you possess and share it freely. Then, find someone who has a talent or skill you wish to learn and be that person's student. The ideal outcome is if both activities can be with the same person. Either way, experiment with being both a teacher and student in the next week.

The Winner Takes It All

2009-03-29T22:23:00.003-04:00

I didn't understand this song until I saw Meryl Streep's version of it on Mamma Mia:

It isn't clear to me why it never clicked for me. I guess I didn't know how it felt to lose at love yet.

Who am I today?

2009-03-10T21:55:00.001-04:00

Today, I am a dreamer, a writer and a lover of life. My identity isn’t really attached too much, I just enjoy being, thinking and living the moment. The stronger aspects of my life involve my values, my friends and family. There aren’t many materials things that really define me except living on South Beach. I can’t say I’m much attached too much, but I do love my little condo and my dragon collection. Other than that, well, I adore the wonderful people in my life and living as I please.

Who am I? Good question. I am Ana-Maria Figueredo, born in Brooklyn, raised in Queens and a product of Catholic schools in New Jersey. Gee, that’s scary!! I have a BA in English Literature and MS in Educational Technology. I’m a daughter, aunt, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, mentor, teacher, student, and hard working woman. Sometimes I’m just a woman, sometimes I’m just a spirit and sometimes I’m nothing at all but pure being.

Today, I’m a woman who has become increasingly:
• compassionate with others
• intolerant of stupidity or vulgarity
• a bit isolated
• a firm believer in goodness and purity of spirit
• a hopefully-not-hopeless-romantic
• someone who never gives up or in
• I laugh or cry easily
• I embrace with all my being
• all animals and children are precious to me
• I enjoy opera, blues/jazz or any form of great musical talent
• I’ve seen most of the United States
• I’ve shared special moments with people of all walks of life
• Each day I feel we aren’t getting the right answers because we aren’t asking the right questions.
• I think the right questions are the key to reality.

However, that isn’t the answer is it?

Who am I today?
A woman writing a blog and expressing her thoughts about her identity.

Who am I today?
Spirit

Who am I today?
Being

Who am I today so you can understand me?
Label me as you wish. Essence is can not be defined, it is perceived.

Who am I today?
Whoever you think I am.

Intentions

2009-03-03T22:19:00.003-05:00

If I had a dollar for every intention I’ve ever had, I’d have a lot of dollars!! There are so many things I intend to begin, do and finish…the list is endless!! For example, I sometimes pile things I would like to read. Then after the pile gets too high and I’m frustrated, I throw the whole pile away. Sometimes I think it is a commitment problem, sometimes I think I’m lazy…mostly I’ve come to believe I just don’t do everything I intend to do and need to revisit what intentions are really about. It is definitely time for a reality check.

The lovely thing about being part of Tuesday Topic is that the intention to blog has a new element of pressure to it. I have to think about how disappointed Jen Goode would be if I didn’t blog or how some of the other bloggers of the group would feel if I didn’t fulfill this commitment. I vowed to do this over milkshakes in the middle of the night at a Las Vegas conference. These are the pinnacle moments that define our lives and character. If you can’t keep a promise you’ve made after way too many cocktails over chocolate shakes, then your intentions are definitely in question. Or so I believe…

One of my peeves about intentions is when they are used as an excuse for promises not kept. When you ask a person why they haven’t fulfilled a promise and the answer is, “it was my intention…” It has dirty, rotten liar written all over it!! Intending to do something isn’t the same as doing it!! If you are going to do something just do it, intentions don’t cut it.

On that same note…I love intentions. When someone tells me about an intention, I get excited. Intending to do something is a promise of hope and vision. “My intended” is a loaded phrase as well promising the future of possibilities with a special someone. I prefer the notion even to fiancé. It is loaded with subconscious programming as to what the future might hold.

What are my intentions? Well, to express my innermost thoughts about how I view life and the subtle nature of the greenness of the pea. To study the nature of grass and other things that grows effortlessly creating the havoc of traffic and grocery store lines. These are all thoughts of a madwoman I know, but I never intended to be anything but what I am. Judge me as you wish, I bother no one by existing in my little slice of heaven on South Beach. I never intended to be anything more than what I am.