Southern Amber Teaching Tales and Tips

For the Love of Books

2019-07-15T12:34:00.002-04:00

When I was growing up, books were in abundance. Both of my parents loved to read. We frequently visited our public libraries on the weekends. On Wednesday nights, we would visit our church's tiny library before church. I read and re-read the adventures of Encyclopedia Brown, and as I grew older those of Janette Oke. I attended a small Christian school with an equally small library where I tackled every Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery. For Christmas when I was in seventh grade, I received the entire Anne of Green Gables book series and read them immediately. When I began my public school education, the library of my middle school overwhelmed me! I would check out the maximum amount of books allowed each week, and I was a library helper (nerd alert, but I'm ok with it). Expanding from the Christian book genre of my childhood, I was exposed to stories of romance and intrigue. I read everything from Sweet Valley High to The Hobbit (even though that was to impress a boy). In high school, I read everything that my teachers would throw at me. I developed a deep love for allegory and satire. I loved historical fiction. Even now, when I have the opportunity, I will lose myself in a book for days at a time.

The books I read when I was quite young were mostly faith-based. With the growing availability of literary styles in middle school, these different aspects of writing would captivate my imagination. One such poem was Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll. I remember reading the fanciful and nonsensical language and wondering what in the world was going on? I read it again. I knew the story of Alice in Wonderland, but I had never read the novel. I had watched the Disney adaptation back in the day when the Disney Channel showed classic movies on Friday nights. The form of writing was so unique to me, that I wanted to read more. I checked out Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and my love for fantasy writing began. I appreciated the literal representation of creatures like the dragon fly, rocking horse fly and bread-and-butterfly. I remember thinking, "that sounds exactly like how I pictured things in my head when I was little".

As I grew older, I kept learning about the different types of literature. When I was in college, I took a British Literature class where we discussed the interesting life and works of Lewis Carroll. I learned that the writing of Alice's Adventures is Wonderland is what started children's literature, and that Carroll was the pioneer who made the way for stories written for children. At the same time, I was working as an after-school teacher for elementary school-aged kiddos and was a tutor at the local elementary school. I knew stories and poems and plays and books would speak to my little friends. I began my own collection of children's books while in college. My Mama gifted my an entire box of Robert Munsch, Arthur, and Jan Brett books to have on-hand. This collection grew as I became a Nanny, a teacher's assistant, a babysitter, a Mama, and an Aunt. I love that the kiddos in my life associate me with reading.

My love for Alice grew, too. While I do have an extensive Mickey Mouse collection ('cause I'm all about that Disney), I realized recently that my oldest and most intentional Disney collection is that of Alice's world. I have several copies of different adaptations of the books. I enjoy the various film versions of the story. My sister gave me my first Alice coffee mug when I lived in Florida. She and I purchased tea sets together in Virginia, and mine was modeled after the Red Queen. A sweet friend gave me an exquisite tea pot on theme. My children have found me little trinkets or drawn me pictures from the silly, sweet realm. When I had to downsize from a big house to a tiny apartment, many Mickey items had to fall by the wayside, but all the Alice memorabilia stayed with me.

I was so excited to learn that the Upcountry History Museum in Greenville, SC was housing a Wonderland exhibit. My family and I visited this past weekend, and it was such a treat. On display, there are illustrations on loan from the Smithsonian. There are "new" pieces of art as Alice has been reimagined by artist, Charles Santore. There is information about Lewis Carroll. The highlight for us was seeing the costumes and models from Tim Burton's interpretation of Alice in Wonderland. If you live locally, I would definitely recommend going to check this out whether you are a fan of Alice or not. If you enjoy the written word, you will find this exhibit to be a treat!

Is there a book, story, poem, play that you loved as a child? Can you remember the first thing you read that made you think? That engaged your imagination? I would love to hear from you!

Surviving Summer 2019

2019-05-03T11:24:00.002-04:00

It’s that time of year again. School is coming to an end, and the free time of summer is calling! This post includes free or cheap things to do in the Asheville area with your kiddos. So, get out your calendar and make some memories over the next few months!

Movies

Cinemark--https://www.cinemark.com/summer-movie-clubhouse

The Summer Movie Clubhouse shows films every Wednesday and Thursday at 10am beginning in June. At Cinemark, you can choose to pay $1 per ticket OR purchase a punch card for $5 punch card for admission to 10 movies! What a deal. The projected films and dates are:

6/19 & 6/20—The Grinch

6/26 & 6/27—How to Train Your Dragon

7/3 & 7/4—Smallfoot

7/10 & 7/11—Kung Fu Panda

7/17 & 7/18—The LEGO Movie

7/24 & 7/25—The SpongeBob Movie

7/31 & 8/1—Sherlock Gnomes

8/7 & 8/8—Hotel Transylvania 3

8/14 & 8/15—Despicable Me 3

AMC--https://www.amctheatres.com/summer-movie-camp

AMC Theaters host a Summer Movie Camp. For $4, you get a ticket to a kid-friendly film and a KidsPack on Wednesdays. The site doesn’t have a lot of information at the present, but they do have a list of projected titles:

Trolls

The LEGO Movie 2

Hotel Transylvania 3

Peter Rabbit

Wonder Park

Teen Titans Go

Smallfoot

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

The House with Clocks in the Walls

Biltmore Grande Regal—http://www.biltmorepark.com/events/regal-biltmore-grande-15-summer-movie-express-0

I was unable to find the link to Regal’s Summer Movie Express, but Biltmore Park had information on their events page. I would check with the theater before going! According to the page, $1 movies will be shown on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings at 10:00am for nine weeks beginning in July. I will update the films to be shows as soon as I find them.

Movie Reviews: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

Books

Library—https://www.buncombecounty.org/governing/depts/library/services/summer-reading-program.aspx#sec-calendar

The Buncombe County Library system will be focusing on space this summer with “A Universe of Stories. Check the website for the branch closest to you! Activities include everything from story time to free movies to music to crafts. This is definitely a wonderful opportunity to make some educational strides over the summer while having fun!

Barnes & Noble--https://www.barnesandnoble.com/h/summer-reading

The summer reading program at Barnes & Noble includes a reading journal and checklist for your child. At the end of the summer, they can earn a free book! Also, Barnes & Noble hosts several events and story times!

Out and About

ZOOM Pass

If you have a Buncombe County Library Card, I highly recommend using the Zoom Pass! If you don’t have a library card, get one for FREE! https://www.buncombecounty.org/governing/depts/Library/services/zoom-local-attraction-pass.aspx

With this pass, you can reserve FREE tickets to:

Asheville Museum of Science: https://ashevillescience.org/

Greenville Zoo: https://www.greenvillezoo.com/

Hands On! Children’s Museum: http://handsonwnc.org/

NC Arboretum: https://www.ncarboretum.org/

Smith-McDowell House Museum: https://www.wnchistory.org/smith-mcdowell-house/

WNC Nature Center: https://wildwnc.org/

In Town

Urban Trail https://www.exploreasheville.com/urban-trail/

Thomas Wolfe Home https://wolfememorial.com/

WNC Nature Center-Free with ZOOM Pass https://wildwnc.org/plan-your-visit

Parkway Places-- https://www.nps.gov/blri/index.htm

The Blue Ridge Parkway is an excellent source of adventure over the summer. If you need to beat the heat and enjoy some cooled air, check out:

The Blue Ridge Parkway Visitor’s Center-free

The Folk Art Center-free

Museum of NC Minerals-free

Moses Cone Memorial Park

Pacing through Plants

The Botanical Gardens at Asheville—free, https://ashevillebotanicalgardens.org/

NC Arboretum—Free with ZOOM Pass or $14/vehicle https://www.ncarboretum.org/plan-a-visit/hours-directions-prices/

Playgrounds

Lake Julian (406 Overlook Rd. Ext)

Fletcher Park (85 Howard Gap Rd.)

Carrier Park (220 Amboy Rd.)

Azalea Park (498 Azalea Rd. E)

Lake Louise Park (Lake Louise Dr., Weaverville)

Ray Pope Memorial Park (45 Jonestown Rd., Woodfin)

Jake Rusher Park (132 Peachtree St., Arden)

Leicester Community Center (2979 New Leicester Hwy., Leicester)

Pools

Recreation Park Pool (65 Gashes Creek Rd., Asheville)

Cane Creek Pool (590 Lower Brush Creek Rd., Fairview)

Malvern Hills Pool (Asheville)

Erwin Pool (58 Lees Creek Rd., Asheville)

Hominy Valley Pool (25 Twin Lakes Dr., Candler)

East Asheville Rec. Club Pool (40 Bell Rd., Asheville)

Owen Pool (117 Stone Dr., Swannanoa)

Lake Tomahawk Pool (401 Laurel Circle Dr., Black Mt.)

Day Trips

If you feel like taking a mini-vacation, we are blessed to live close to so many beautiful places and interesting people! Consider packing a lunch and hitting the road for the day.

West

Wheels Through Time Museum (Maggie Valley)-Th-M, 9-5; $12/adult, $6/children https://wheelsthroughtime.com/

Quilt Trail (Maggie Valley) http://www.quilttrailswnc.org/

Shelton House (Waynesville)-T-Sa, 11-4; $6 adult/$5 student https://sheltonhouse.org/

Scottish Tartan Museum (Franklin)- M-Sa, 10-5; $2/ticket http://scottishtartans.org/museum/aboutus.php

Mountain Heritage Center (Cullowhee) https://www.wcu.edu/engage/mountain-heritage-center/about-us/contact-the-mountain-heritage-center.aspx

Cherokee— http://visitcherokeenc.com/#home

Oconaluftee Indian Village-T-Sa, 10-3; $20/adult, $12/student

Museum of the Cherokee- Su-M, 9-5; $12/adult

Unto These Hills-June-Aug., Nightly, 8pm; $28/ticket

Mingo Falls/Socco Falls

East

Swannanoa Valley Museum-T-Sa, 10-5; $5/adult, free/18 and under https://www.history.swannanoavalleymuseum.org/

Mountain Gateway Museum (Old Fort)-T-Sa, 9-5; free https://www.mgmnc.org/

Carson House (Marion)-W-Sa, 10-3; $7/adult http://www.historiccarsonhouse.com/

Lake James trails https://www.ncparks.gov/lake-james-state-park/trails

Valdese—Waldensian Trail of Faith (M-F, 9-5; $10/adult, $6/student), Museum (T-F, 11-2)

https://www.townofvaldese.com/

Fort Defiance (Lenoir)-Th-Sa, 10-5 https://www.blueridgeheritage.com/destinations/fort-defiance/

South

WNC Military Museum (Brevard)-W-Sa, 10-4; Free https://www.visitnc.com/listing/SZmY/wnc-military-history-museum

Pisgah National Forest https://www.fs.usda.gov/recarea/nfsnc/recarea/?recid=48114

Carl Sandburg Historic Site (Flat Rock)-grounds are free, $5 house tour tickets for adults and free for children 16 and under. There are picnic tables and shaded trails to hike as well as goats to visit!

Historic Johnson Farm (Hendersonville)- https://www.blueridgeheritage.com/destinations/historic-johnson-farm/

Hands On! Children’s Museum (Hendersonville)—Free with ZOOM Pass or $5/person http://handsonwnc.org/

North

Vance Birthplace (Weaverville) https://www.blueridgeheritage.com/destinations/vance-birthplace/

Rural Heritage Museum (Mars Hill) https://www.mhu.edu/about/what-to-do-and-see/museum/

Farmony Edventure (Marshall) https://www.facebook.com/SafariEdventureNC/

Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month

2019-03-15T17:24:00.002-04:00

Smiling Girl

March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness month, and our family has a precious link to this disorder. My daughter, Cecely, has an atypical form of cerebral palsy. She has made it her life’s mission to not let the disorder to define her. Instead, she has chosen to find joy and to encourage others who are dealing with any kind of pain or complication in life. In light of my amazing daughter, I wanted to share our CP journey.

First of all, what is cerebral palsy? CP is a neurological disorder that affects the control of the muscular system. There are many types of CP and several manifestations and levels of CP symptoms. We have learned that CP is very much an individual disorder. There are a few main types of CP. They are: spastic, dyskinetic (athetoid, choreoathetoid, dystonic), ataxic, and mixed. “People with spastic CP have increased muscle tone. This means their muscles are stiff and, as a result, their movements can be awkward…People with dyskinetic CP have problems controlling the movement of their hands, arms, feet, and legs, making it difficult to sit and walk. The movements are uncontrollable and can be slow and writhing or rapid and jerky. Sometimes the face and tongue are affected, and the person has a hard time sucking, swallowing, and talking…People with ataxic CP have problems with balance and coordination. They might be unsteady when they walk. They might have a hard time with quick movements or movements that need a lot of control, like writing. They might have a hard time controlling their hands or arms when they reach for something” and mixed CP is can be just that-a mix of any form (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/cp/facts.html).

Cecely was due in late-October of 2003. Her father was in the military and often working on the base or on deployment. When we were expecting Cecely, we had a plan. I had read every book and watched various videos preparing me for childbirth, as Cecely was my first baby. Having the plan in place, Cecely’s father was at work when I went into labor. We had just moved into our first house the week before. There were boxes left to unpack, walls to paint, and furniture to buy. We had not been in the town long enough to know anyone. Thankfully, my sister was visiting from college to help me get the house ready. I woke up on an August morning, went into the bathroom and went into premature labor. My sister called 9-1-1, and we had the first class, small town experience of a firetruck, police car, and ambulance in our tiny front yard. My sister then had to call the Red Cross to get an emergency message to Cecely’s dad. My family lived seven hours away, and they hit the road immediately to get to the hospital. All I kept saying was “this isn’t the plan! This isn’t what the books said would happen.”

Baby Girl

Several hours later and after two failed epidurals, Cecely was born on August 20^th, approximately 2 months early. When Cecely made her entrance into the world, she was not breathing. Her tiny face was blue. The nurses quickly took Cecely away from her dad and me. What seemed like hours (but really was a few minutes) later, Cecely began to cry. It wasn’t a baby cry, though. She sounded like a cat or, if you are a Harry Potter fan, like a Mandrake. Initially, the doctor considered having her airlifted from the base hospital to a big children’s hospital an hour away. Thankfully, Cecely was finally breathing on her own, and she was taken to a special nursery (this was a very small hospital and there was not a NICU). It was a few hours before we were really able to see and hold Cecely. She was a healthy weight of 6 pounds even and was 19 inches long…not bad for a preemie! But she looked so small. She was also very sick. Cecely had an APGAR score of 3, intense jaundice, and severe colic from the start. During her first year, she spent time on a bilibed (which made her look like a glowworm), had several ER visits, and kept the doctors guessing.

When Cecely was a toddler, there was a lady who volunteered in the nursery at our church who told me she thought something was wrong with Cecely and encouraged me to have her tested. I had worked with children my entire life, and I was never an advocate for all of the testing and milestones. I knew that Cecely was behind on motor skills, but she was very early to talk! I was (and am) of the mindset that every child develops at their own speed. I hated the idea of having Cecely tested. Instead, I went crazy-mama-bear on this lady and refused to think about it anymore.

When Cecely was 4 years old, our family moved back to our hometown. By this point, Cecely had a little brother, Titus. We found a preschool program for Cecely at a wonderful school. Cecely was born independent and very social. She loved going to school. Titus and I would hang out in the classroom from time to time. The teacher of this class was a former special education teacher. She encouraged me to talk to our pediatrician about being evaluated by a neurologist. This time, I listened; but, our pediatrician didn’t. The argument was the age-old battle between the medical world and the education world. We kept trying pediatricians until we found one who would write the referral to a pediatric neurologist. Once we visited the neurologist, Cecely was submitted to a CAT Scan, an EEG, and several other tests. I hated seeing my baby girl be medicated in order to complete the tests. I was scared of what we may find out.

Dancing Girl

The results of all this testing gave us some overwhelming information. While I was carrying Cecely, she had a stroke that triggered her premature birth. The stroke combined with the lack of oxygen at birth caused brain damage. The brain damage was labeled Cerebral Palsy. At this point, we began to understand and see the academic delay Cecely was experiencing. Because of the neurologist and teacher, we were able to get Cecely therapy services. As Cecely continued in school, her academic delay became more noticeable. At one school, we were told she had plateaued and would not be making any growth academically. The answer was to move her to the special education classes. I worked in those classes and loved those children, but those were not the problems Cecely had. The reality was the school was not staffed enough to handle what Cecely needed, and it would be easier to lump her in another class, put a label on her, and let that be it. That is when we pulled Cecely from school and began to homeschool. Yes, she was behind, but she was able to make great strides academically.

We had some changes in our family, and I needed to go back to work full-time. We lived in a low-income school district. This time, there was a great staff, but still no real support for Cecely. By this time, she was in 4^th grade. The delays she had were noticeable to other students. She was called “stupid, retarded, idiot” by classmates. There was one girl who found great satisfaction in lording over Cecely. She used her size and reading level to degrade others. She targeted Cecely to the point where Cecely stopped using the bathroom at school and developed some urinary tract problems. As I dug into this, I learned that the classmate would hold the door on Cecely while in the bathroom so she could not get out. She would pin her in between the sink and the paper towel dispenser. She would tell her she couldn’t leave the bathroom until Cecely cleaned up the girl’s mess. I was furious over this and began to go to the school during my lunch break. I was now a single mom and did not have the ability to be gone from work. The principal was great, the teacher was great, but they could do nothing. Expelling the student put her in danger because of her home life. They tried to keep the girls separated as much as they could, and I would “volunteer” in the classroom as often as I could. Here is a testimony to how amazing my little girl is…at the end of that hellacious school year, she hugged her classmate, wished her a good summer and told her she would be praying for her.

As we approached the middle school years, I became afraid for Cecely and school. Thankfully, she won a lottery spot at a charter school. This was a completely different experience for us. This school was exactly what Cecely needed. They gave her every opportunity academically. They encouraged her. They kept her safe. They loved her well. This was when we started having new realizations with Cecely’s CP.

For Cecely, CP meant academic delay, fine motor skill trouble, some gross motor skill issues, tremors in her limbs when she was fatigued, slurred speech when she was tired, and her left leg and arm turning inward. The charter school professionals knew all of these and worked well with us. Towards the end of 7^th grade, Cecely began to start having new symptoms. She began having pain—sometimes so horrible that she could not move. Her leg muscles would completely constrict and “lock up”. Writing had become painful. We went back to the neurologist who referred her to a genetic specialist. A year later and thousands of dollars later, after many more tests and doctor visits, the answer was Cecely’s form of CP was atypical. Generally speaking, the CP symptoms a person is born with are what they have forever; they are static, they don’t get better or worse. There is no cure. Cecely’s symptoms did not fit in a specific category, so we have the “atypical” label.

Now, we have a transfer chair at the ready for Cecely. There are days when she can walk for 30 minutes with no problem. Other days, after 30 minutes, the pain is so great, she can hardly talk. So, we have a chair on hand so she can be wheeled around and still get to experience everything she wants. The neurologist ordered muscle relaxers to help, but my husband (Cecely’s step-dad) and I are very much against the side effects she had with them. We have found the swimming, stationary biking, and massages give Cecely temporary relief; the same as the muscle relaxers that also turned her into a She-Hulk. We are operating on the understanding that more changes in this disorder may come our way. We are so grateful for the severity of her CP, because we know so many other sweet children and teenagers who are not able to do the things Cecely can.

In 8^th grade, Cecely’s teacher assigned the class the task of researching and presenting on a topic that could help make a difference in the world. Cecely chose awareness for people with disabilities. She used her own experience and the stories of others to present to her class the importance of treating others kindly. She was asked to present her project to each class in her school. From that, Cecely started her own YouTube channel called Cecely’s Corner. Her mission is to share her stories and the stories of other people while giving hope and encouragement to her viewers. She truly wants to be a light in a crazy world.

Cecely's Support Team

The diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy rocked my world 15 years ago. I look at my daughter today, and I am in awe. She is strong, brave, independent, compassionate, and joy-filled. I believe she was created exactly how God intended her to be. She has a purpose on she can fulfill. She has a heart to love others in a big way. She has a smile that puts any spotlight to shame. I look at my son, Titus, and see how watching his sister has shaped him. He has become one of her best caretakers. He holds her up when she needs extra support. He keeps her safe. He is always on the lookout for her. Cecely’s sisters are also great advocates and have blossomed into an awesome care team. CP is a part of our family, but it does not define us!

Meeting Ted, Part Three

2018-10-20T09:59:00.000-04:00

***This is the continuation of my blog post on getting to meet Ted, my VIPKID student from Beijing. I have permission from his mother, Danielle, to share this story and pictures from our trip.***

As our amazing adventure came to an end, our newest family members (Danielle and I decided that we are going to be family from now on) had chosen an incredible restaurant for us in Orlando. Brian and I took our first Uber ride with Danielle and Ted to Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ. When we arrived, we were told there would be an hour wait. We assured Danielle that was fine with us. We are easily amused. Typically, we wouldn't wait an hour for a table, but we wanted to make sure they knew we would wait since they had a specific treat in mind for us. Looking back, I am so thankful for that hour wait time, as that was when Ted and I had the most fun. While Danielle monitored the host station for an available table, Ted and I sat together on a bench and talked and played. Brian was an angel and took pictures for me. Ted was excited to show me some apps on his phone that allowed him to make funny pictures with filters. Ted "sneakily" took a picture or two of Brian and several of me...laughing hysterically the entire time.

Brian and I had never been to a Japanese BBQ before. It was incredible! The menu was gigantic. We told Danielle and Ted that they were in charge of ordering; we were simply excited to be invited. Danielle and Ted looked over the menu and gave the waiter an earful. In the middle of the table was a small grill. There were no plates--just metal chopsticks. When we have Asian food at home, I always try with the little kid chopsticks but end up with a fork. Brian, Ted and Danielle all tried to show me the proper way to use them, and Ted finally gave me a soup spoon to use. I'm so glad I could provide comic relief at our elegant dinner! After the grill warmed up, plates and plates of meat were brought out to us, and Danielle prepared the meat and served each of us. We had so many delectable dishes--filet mignon, kobe beef, beef tongue, skirt steak, pork sausage, some kind of super-fancy tuna, and several other amazing meats I can't remember the name of. Oh, and there were some vegetables. For dessert, Danielle ordered a very special dessert called Lady M. It was delicate and scrumptious! I teach English, not math, but I know a lot of money was spent on us for that meal. Danielle told me during one of our conversations that teachers hold a place of high honor in China. This dinner was to show me how she respects me and how Ted cares for me. Brian and I are the kind of people who always pay our part, and we don't do well with people doing things for us. But, understanding the importance of this meal being a gift to us from Ted made my pride subside. I truly felt special and valued.

Following our remarkable meal, we loaded back into another Uber. Brian sat up front with our very kind driver, Danielle sat in between Ted and myself in the back. Ted began to quietly cry. I was trying to hold in my sobs, but my eyes gave me away. Danielle told me not to cry, that now we are family, and we will see each other again one day. I expressed to her my gratitude for being invited to join them in Florida, for the sweet gifts and for the delicious meal. I told her how amazing I think Ted is and what a great job she is doing raising him. I just kept telling her I was so thankful for the opportunity and the memories we made. Ted said something in barely a whisper to Danielle which she told me in a hushed voice..."Ted says Amber is like sunshine in my heart". After that, how could I not cry? Back at our hotel, I hugged Danielle tight and we promised to stay in touch (which we do, thanks to WeChat!). I went around to Ted's side of the car and wrapped him in my arms. We held on for a few minutes and cried. I looked him in his eyes and told him how much I loved him and how happy I am to know him. Brian lovingly took me into our hotel. Danielle messaged me later to tell me Ted had cried all the way to their hotel and was sleeping with his American football again.

I have so many more moments that come to mind when I think about this magical adventure. I had so many profound conversations with Danielle. I had countless laughs and high-fives with Ted. I had a fantastic time with my husband, my hero, my best friend. I am so thankful to my parents, mother-in-law, and grandmother for helping Brian and I make this trip happen. I am grateful for my amazing children for being understanding and encouraging of us making a trip to Disney World without them. I am beyond grateful for Danielle for inviting me to come to Disney and to get to have time with her son. I am thankful for VIPKID for giving me a fantastic job that has widened my world view and has introduced me to phenomenal people on the other side of the world. Most of all, I am so grateful that God orchestrated every detail and allowed this adventure to happen. I am so blessed!

Message from Danielle at the end of our trip...precious.

Click here to read Meeting Ted, Part One

Click here to read Meeting Ted, Part Two

Meeting Ted, Part Two

2018-10-19T21:06:00.003-04:00

***This is the continuation of my blog post on getting to meet Ted, my VIPKID student from Beijing. I have permission from his mother, Danielle, to share this story and pictures from our trip.***

Taking on Hollywood!

Danielle and I are very similar. We both are organizers and planners, and we both want to make every experience as great as we can for our children. Danielle had asked me which parks (or gardens, according to her) they should visit while in Disney World for two days. She had been to the Disney Parks in Hong Kong and Shanghai, but Disney World is much bigger, and is divided into four separate themed parks. The MagicKingdom park is the classic spot, but every Disney park has a Magic Kingdom. I love EPCOT, but I didn’t think it would be the most exciting place for an 8-year old Chinese boy. Ted loves Star Wars, and Hollywood Studios would give him the opportunity to meet characters from the films! When I suggested Hollywood Studios to Danielle and gave her my reasoning, her response was so sweet, “You know my son so well”. Animal Kingdom is my family’s favorite park. Ted loves dinosaurs, and there is an entire Dino Land within Animal Kingdom. Danielle and I laid out a simple itinerary, and we were ready for this adventure!

Two weeks before traveling, Danielle reached out to me to let me know they would be bringing gifts for my family and me. She suggested bringing an empty suitcase for transporting the gifts back to NC. I knew she was bringing me a picture Ted had painted for me, but that was all. Brian and I had flown the most economical way possible; and, we had planned on packing everything we needed into one suitcase. Brian and I figured we would be flexible when it came to the gift, because we really had no idea what gift giving would look like. Ted and Danielle arrived in Orlando the day before us and were able to have a fun adventure with a friend of Danielle’s who helped her coordinate her trip. We arrived in Orland on Wednesday evening. Our plan was to meet for dinner and exchange presents so we wouldn’t have to store them or carry them around a park. I asked Danielle and Ted to meet us at our hotel for dinner at the food court…they had pizza, and I knew from many lessons with Ted that one of his favorite foods is meat pizza!

I was beyond excited knowing that in a very little while, I would get to see one of my favorite people on Earth in person and not through a computer screen. I was bouncing all over the lobby waiting for their arrival. When I saw Danielle get out of a car, I burst through the doors. Anyone who knows me knows I am energetic and physically affectionate…which was not the norm for Danielle and Ted. I knew Ted would be overwhelmed, so I kept a safe distance and practiced so much self-restrain. I wanted to pick him up, hug him tight and swing him around…but, I didn’t. Danielle was carrying two huge boxes with her. I looked at Brian, who I am pretty sure was just as shocked as I was. We walked into the food court, and Brian suggested that Danielle and I go look at the menu while he waited with Ted. Now, that was a sight to behold. Here my 6’4” giant of a husband was sitting at a table with a little boy who has not yet mastered conversational English. Danielle and I looked at the menu, decided what we wanted and walked back to the table. There, Brian was using his hands and arms in a dramatic fashion to talk to Ted. It was hard not to laugh at him. Brian told me, “I was just trying to use the VIPKID TPR that you use.” Perfect!

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Flamingos everywhere!

We enjoyed a laid-back meal and talked about their trip from China to the U.S.. Ted did not say much, but he was watching, listening, and smiling. He could not wait for me to open my boxes, so in the food court, I opened a box that was a full set of bone China dishes for serving soup. Danielle said, “We usually give blue and white China as a gift, but Ted picked yours out.” Now, in our lessons, we often talk about our favorite things, so Ted knows my favorite animal is a flamingo. The dishes reflected my love of the flamboyant pink birds! Danielle was not thrilled with the choice, but Ted and I were! The other box contained a framed picture of a flamingo that Ted had drawn and painted for me! In addition to these gorgeous gifts, Danielle had made my three daughters earrings and purchased me some beautiful lipstick…in a shade to match hers. To say I was overwhelmed would be a major understatement.

BB-Mickey

On our first day in Disney World, Brian and I got up early and headed to Hollywood Studios. We are the kind of people that open up the park, then shut it down. Danielle told us that Ted was not a fan of many rides, so we decided we would do things separately then meet up for lunch at Pizza Rizzo. When Brian and I arrived at the restaurant, Danielle was already in line ready to order for us. (Crazy side note--when I sat at our table, I saw a dear friend from my teenage years at the table behind us with her family. It really is a small world, right?). We had a fun lunch of pizza, then we went to find the Star Wars Launch Bay where all the characters live! Now, Ted is a fan of the new Star Wars films and isn't too familiar with the original cast. He was very excited to meet Kylo-Ren and BB-8, but he didn't know who Chewbacca was. In we went to see Kylo (who legitimately scares me). He honed in on Ted, and that little boy was in the zone. He was so serious! Next, we went to see BB-8, which simply thrilled Ted, especially since he was sporting his Mickey BB-8 ears...we called them BB-Mouse or Mickey-8 ears! We were leaving the bay through the gift shop when Ted grabbed my arm and said, "Big Monkey? We go see the Big Monkey?" I was confused and told him we were going to see animals the next day at Animal Kingdom. Ted said, "No! Big Monkey in there." Aaaahhh..Chewbacca! So I did a little sweet-talking to the cast member at the exit and we were given an escort straight to Chewie, after which Ted kept referring to Brian as "Big Monkey" like Chewbacca. The rest of our day was spent enjoying shows and ice cream. It was a perfect time! Danielle and Ted were tired and went back to their hotel, while Brian and I inhaled some sugar and made another round on the roller coasters.

My favorite...

Not my favorite...

The following morning, Brian and I arrived at Animal Kingdom early to take on Expedition Everest (twice) then to have breakfast at Brian's favorite restaurant, Tusker House. (Another crazy side note--on our way to Tusker House, I ran into a sweet young lady who I used to go to church with who now is a college student...super small world!). We met up with Danielle and Ted at the Kilimanjaro Safari Ride. Here is where I discovered how much Ted loves creatures. From our lessons, I knew he liked dinosaurs and wanted a pet dog, but that's it. I had told him my favorite animal (flamingo) and least favorite (snake). On the safari, Ted was thrilled. He was focused on every turn of the jeep. He pointed out animals the driver missed. He was elated! My heart was so full to see this precious child enjoying this adventure. After the safari, we hopped on the train to Rafiki's Planet Watch. As soon as we walked into the Conservation Station, we saw in the dead center of the room two ladies and a....SNAKE!!! Ted loves to tease me with drawing snakes on the screen of our lessons. He has some toy snakes he likes to shock me with, too. I am 100%, honestly, legitimately, completely scared of snakes. Ted saw that snake in the middle of the room, turned his face toward me, and the smile on his face was contagious. I knew I

Ted's happy place.

was sunk...I loved that kiddo so much, and he was so ecstatic...I had to get in line with him to pet that snake. I am pretty sure that was the highlight of the day for Ted (and probably Brian). We checked out the farm animal area where Ted took a brush and brushed every goat in the pin. He was so happy. It was simple, quiet and so special. He would talk to the goats while he petted them. I wouldn't be surprised at all if this little boy grows into an animal doctor or advocate!

We ended our time at the park on the Dinosaur ride. Here's the deal, most of my family LOVES this ride. After snakes, dinosaurs are what I fear most. I knew Ted didn't like rides, but he does love all things dinos. I made sure Danielle was aware that is was dark, loud, and scary (to me). She said it would be fine and that was the only ride Ted was insistent on. Ted told her "nothing is scary when Amber is with me." So, in we went with our Fast Passes and were on the time-traveling vehicles almost immediately. I knew as soon as the strobe lights started flashing, this kid was gone. I had my arm around him, Danielle had her arm around him, and we just held on tight while he freaked out. When I ride that ride with my family, my eyes stay closed and my head stays in my lap. But, I knew I had to at least appear brave for my little friend. When we got off of the ride, Ted breathed a huge sigh of relief...the gift shop also helped him feel better.

As I mentioned before, we had already received sweet and beautiful gifts from Danielle. In the dinosaur gift shop, Ted wanted to get my son a gift to match something he was getting himself. I tried to tell him "no", but Danielle told me Ted had his own money, and he wanted to get each of my four children a gift. He carefully chose something for each child, then snuck in another gift for me of Animal Kingdom Christmas ornaments. Then, Danielle translated for Brian and me that Ted wanted to take us to dinner with his money. He wanted to take us somewhere special, that he enjoyed, and that wasn't "American". Another adventure on the way!

Read Meeting Ted, Part One Here

Read Meeting Ted, Part Three Here

Meeting Ted, Part One

2018-10-18T08:35:00.000-04:00

Meeting Danielle & Ted

"Travel a thousand miles to bestow a goose feather--a small gift may be a token of profound friendship."~ Chinese Proverb

At the end of July 2017, I became a teacher with VIPKID. I was so excited about the prospect of a new career. I love children, and I love teaching. This job came as an answer to prayer for our family, as we were looking for a way I could work from home! I'll admit, I was very nervous for my first day of classes. What if no one booked me? What if the child did not speak any English? What happens since I cannot speak Mandarin? What if I'm not funny over a computer screen? What if the parents don't like me? And, one of the biggest concerns, what if I can't pronounce the student's name?!? I remember looking over my first day of classes while preparing. I had a Bao, Princess, John, and Fugui. "Oh, boy," I thought; "I don't want to butcher this child's name." I had plugged "Fugui" into a translating app and was practicing saying it before class. When I logged on to teach, the most precious little boy was smiling back at me. I introduced myself, "Hello, my name is Teacher Amber! What's your name?" Out came a blessing-"Hello, Teacher. I am Ted." And, that my friends, was the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

The Incredible Ted

I have had the joy of working with Ted for 15 months. When he is not traveling, I have him in class 1-3 times a week. I always look forward to my time with him. Ted has an incredible sense of humor. In spite of our language barrier, we always find a joke to share and a way to make each other laugh. In our first lessons, Ted was accompanied by his Mom. She would sit to the side where all I could hear was her gentle promptings to Ted. In one lesson, I had the tricky job of teaching the difference between the words "no" and "know" (English can be the worst!). I knew Ted liked dinosaurs, so I said to him, "I don't KNOW why you like dinosaurs" while I was pointing to my head trying to convey the meaning of know. Ted became very excited. I heard his Mom say that Ted would like to show me his dinosaur collection. Like any teacher knows, whatever helps an idea click in a kiddo's head, roll with it! Ted showed me fossils, teeth, and even a dinosaur egg. Then he held up what looked like a rock. I assumed it was another fossil, and I was wrong. He drew a picture on the screen of a computer with a steaming pile of dung behind it. Then he circled the poop and started laughing and shouting in Mandarin. His Mom came onto the screen to explain to me that he was holding dinosaur *$hit*, then spelled it out on the screen in case I didn't understand. At this point, Ted has lost his mind laughing, I was struggling to breathe from laughing so hard, and his Mom was giggling profusely. That is without a doubt my most memorable VIPKID class, and it was the moment that opened up a door for Ted's Mom and I to become friends.

Artwork by Ted!

Ted's Mom, also known as Danielle, and I struck up a friendship via WeChat, which is one of China's social media outlets similar to FaceBook. Through WeChat, Danielle and I would share pictures and stories from our lives. If Ted was sick, she would let me know. If they were going on holiday, she would tell me about their adventures. She would comment on pictures I would share of my children. She would send sweet messages of birthday wishes for them. Ted is a very young, extremely talented artist. I'm not exaggerating when I say he has a gift. For Christmas, Ted painted me a lovely picture that Danielle had made into an amazing scarf! I was overwhelmed by this showing of love.

Ted and I like to chat about Star Wars, animals, and food. We begin each lesson checking on the other person. We share stories about our life. I am working with Ted to become more independently conversational. I have a feeling that as his English improves, I will never stop laughing during our classes. He is a mischievous, bright, and humorous young man. When I see his name on my calendar, my heart does a little happy dance.

Working hard!

This past July, Danielle messaged me on WeChat to tell me that she and Ted were coming to America! She had to travel for work, but she was also planning some fun things for Ted during the National Day holiday/ Golden Week. She told me they were planning to visit "your Disney" in Florida, and she invited me to meet them there! Now, I am a Disney junkie, and my family loves to vacation there. It doesn't take much to prompt me to head from NC to FL. However, our family had just visited Disney World in February. We plan and budget for a trip their every other year. I knew it would be a stretch to make that happen. I told Danielle I would talk with my husband and see what I could do. Enter my husband, my hero! With great excitement, I told him about Danielle and Ted's upcoming trip to Disney World in October. His immediate reply was, "we will make this happen!". I called in some favors to my parents, my mother-in-law, and my grandmother. Each year, they give Brian and I money for Christmas, and I simply asked if I could have my Christmas gift early this year. They were so generous and kind. I think they were excited to be a part of making this dream happen!

Ted with his American football.

I love to plan, and I jumped on the organization train posthaste! I was able to find a deeply discounted rate to stay at the All-Star Music Resort on Disney property. We found amazingly incredible airfare via Frontier Airlines. My fantastic mother-in-law agreed to come stay with our kiddos, and we wrote out a very strict budget for tickets, food, and gifts. The week before we traveled, I took my children out around town, and we picked up some local items for gifts for Danielle and Ted. Among the goodies was a football for Ted and a picture book of where we live. I had also collected pennies and quarters along with a book to make a pressed coin collection while in Disney World. It was so difficult to find something to show how grateful and excited I was to be meeting my favorite student. I couldn't believe it was really happening!

***I have permission from Ted' Mom to share his photo.***

To read Meeting Ted, Part Two, please click here!

To read Meeting Ted, Part Three, please click here!

A Year with VIPKID

2018-07-30T23:39:00.000-04:00

I have been teaching with VIPKID for one year! Almost 2 years ago, my husband and I made some major decisions about me quitting the job I had. There were many reasons for leaving the position. A major one being how much of my time was being spent taking care of other people, and my family was getting my leftovers. There were a few reasons to stay--people I truly loved, a big paycheck, and benefits. After much prayer and reflection, we decided the best thing for our family was for me to quit.

My wacky, wonderful family!

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and mama. That's it. Sure, there were other goals and dreams, but my primary hope was to grow up to take care of a husband and to raise a family. In this world, I have been labeled a little foolish or old-fashioned to have such simple dreams. I'm ok with that. The desire of my heart was to have a family. My family structure has had many changes over the years, but the dream never changed. I love being a wife. I love being a mom.

Last summer, after several medical issues and visiting multiple doctors, I was told I needed an emergency full hysterectomy. The surgery was scheduled about 6 months after leaving my steady job. During those 6 months, God provided temporary ways for me to make an income. While on the 6 week bed rest recovery, I came across VIPKID. I researched like crazy. I prayed. I applied. I was hired!

One year later, I am still in love with VIPKID. Thus far, the only "drawbacks" I have dealt with are having to do my own taxes (thank you, H&R Block) and not being able to have benefits (insurance, sick days, etc.). Truly, those reasons hardly put a dent in my VIPKID experience. If I have had a medical problem, an emergency with a child, or even loss of power, the VIPKID team has been very understanding, and I have no problem with how they dealt with any mishaps I had.

VIPKID classroom

After a year of waking up at 5:30am and teaching until 10am six days a week and a few hours on Sundays, I still feel extremely blessed to have found this company. I don't mind the hours. I've even added on some night classes. To sum it all up, here is my year-end-top-ten-list for VIPKID:
10. Money! I love that VIPKID rewards me for my education and experience. This is the first job that has cared that I have a Master's Degree!

9. More Money...I love the bonuses I can earn, the crazy incentive programs that they launch, and the control I have over how much I make. I set my hours. I decide what hours to work to make the amount of money my family needs.

8. ESL. I have always enjoyed working with students who need a little extra help. English as a Second Language students are incredible...and for the most part, they are very hardworking. It is amazing to watch English light bulbs go off in Chinese brains!

7. PJs. I wear pj pants almost every day. Add a solid color t-shirt or hoodie and my wardrobe is complete. I am not a fashionista, so this suits me just fine.

6. Smiling. As Buddy the Elf says, "smiling's my favorite". I do love to smile. This job has me smiling until my cheeks hurt!

5. Travel. My husband and I like to take trips every now and again. My family goes to the beach a couple of times a year. Wherever I go, I have the ability to take my job with me. I can set up in a hotel room or a dining room table and do my thing with a few props and accessories.

4. Parents. I have made some wonderful friends with a few parents. We use WeChat to communicate. They ask me questions about my life, and I do the same for them. If I post that I have a sick child, I have love sent from across the globe. If their baby has a triumph or loss, I get to know. The connection is so strong!

3. Home. I am home every day! I am able to teach then have the bulk of my day to do whatever my family needs...whether that is braiding my daughter's hair, playing a video game with my son, taking my nephews to the movies, cooking a big dinner, cleaning house, or doing nothing...I have that option every day!

2. Students. I could write an entire blog dedicated to my incredible "regular" students. There are those who melt my heart every time I turn on the camera. There are those who challenge me to teach beyond the text. There are those who light up when they see my face on the screen. These beautiful children have taught me so much about the world and proven to me the basic needs every child has. These children feed on encouragement. They want to work hard. They desire to grow. They want to make me smile. They are stars in my life!

1. Purpose. I believe each person on this planet was designed with intention and a purpose. I believe my purpose is to love others. I believe I was designed to care for people, to nurture, to encourage. I believe God has placed me in my family to be the mama I am on purpose. I believe He has allowed me to teach with VIPKID to encourage and love the amazing people of China. Other than being a wife and mom, this job has given me an overwhelming feeling of fulfillment and purpose!

If you want to learn more about VIPKID, please let me know. Use my referral link to check out the VIPKID website: AMBER BLACK VIPKID

Stay tuned: in October, I am making a trip to Florida to visit one of my favorite students who is coming to America with his family for fall vacation!!! I'm going to get to hug one of my Chinese kiddos!!!

VIPKID Update and Info

2018-01-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

My VIPKID Stats

It is hard for me to believe that I am approaching the 6-month mark with VIPKID. Time really has flown by, and I honestly think it's because I love this job so much. So far, I have taught 266 students in 727 lessons. I only know that I'm coming up on 6 months because I can't open up February teaching slots yet! I'm chomping at the bit to renew my contract. Working for VIPKID has been rewarding to me in so many ways. My husband is super-happy with the income, but my favorite thing about this job is working with amazing kids--across the world! I have had several people reach out to me asking about VIPKID, so I am going to do my best to answer as many questions as I can in this blog. If I don't answer a question you have, please email me! I would love to talk with you more about this incredible job!

Let's get one thing out of the way from the get-go. I'm not a big referral person, BUT VIPKID offers a great incentive program. I haven't received anything from it yet, but my business-savvy husband often reminds me to put the information out there. The referral program gives the "recruiter" a one-time financial incentive once their "recruit" teaches their first class. If you are interested in learning more about VIPKID, please use my referral link and my referral code:03T5QP. I'll let you know when I make that extra cash--and just maybe I'll send you a coffee gift card to allowing me to be a part of your process!

My VIPKID Classroom

Now that that's out of the way, I can write about how much I enjoy this job. The benefits are phenomenal. I get to work from home! I have a small office that I use as my "classroom". You DO NOT have to have an entire room for VIPKID. You really just need a space where you can decorate the wall behind you and where you can sit comfortably for your lessons. Because of the time difference between here and China, I am able to finish teaching my lessons and have a full day. Ideally, this would include a nap since I begin teaching at 5:30am and finish at 9am; but, I'm a wife, mama and have another part-time job (that I also love). It is rare I take a nap, but that's ok. I've started going to bed earlier, which is much better for my health (I am a big night owl). With the time I have after lessons, I can do housework, read a book (for fun), help out at my kiddos' school, take my hubby lunch, visit with a friend, or whatever! I LOVE getting to be able to be home and to be available to my family during the day. Some people view the time difference as a negative, but I don't mind it--although it did take some getting used to.

The VIPKID contracts are set up in 6 month increments. For my traditional teacher friends, this can

My Week

be a great deal when summer rolls around. I know the school year is crazy, but depending on your lifestyle and commitments, it can be possible to teach VIPKID during the school year. The contract requires you to teach 7.5 hours (that's 15 lessons) a month. If you can chunk those times around your schedule, you could start off easy then kill it over the summer! Right now, I work 6-7 days a week, but that's because I am treating this job as close to a full-time job as I can make it. I usually work 5:30am-9:am Monday-Friday, then 6 or 7am-9am on Saturday and Sunday. If I know our family will have a late night, then I either work fewer/later hours the following day or take the day off. For example, I knew New Year's Eve would be a late night, so I didn't open any time slots for New Year's Day. During holiday seasons, whether American or Chinese, VIPKID does offer some exciting incentives. Try your best to plan ahead. Life happens and schedules change. For VIPKID, the better prepared you are, the better your experience. I did have a time when my daughter became very sick and I had to cancel 2 classes. I was penalized for those classes, because I cancelled under 24 hours. I knew I would be penalized because VIPKID is very clear about their cancellation policies from the get-go. I wasn't upset at all. VIPKID has added a function where if you do have to cancel a class, you can tell them and the parent why. Truly, I feel VIPKID tries to help teachers out as much as they can while running a major company. The policies are pretty strict, but they need to be with 20,00+ teachers to manage!

Using TPR

If you do decide to check out VIPKID, here are some tips. Do not spend a lot of money in preparation. Using items around your home or taking a quick (cheap) trip to the Dollar Tree or dollar aisle at your favorite store is all you need. I would not suggest spending money until you have signed your contract--then, go nuts, if you want to! For your interview and mock lesson, you'll need a small whiteboard, markers, alphabet book/flash cards, and anything else that you have on hand to go with the lesson. (Check out my earlier blogs to give you more info on the interview, mock lesson process). Another tip is to use lots of TPR (total physical response). When you are teaching an adult pretending to be a child, you need to keep them engaged. If you have spent any time with preschoolers, you know how much moving and shaking they like to do. Same here. Use your arms, your facial features, and your voice to be as animated and engaging as possible. I would also advise you to take lots of deep breaths and have fun! If you decide to check out VIPKID, please let me know. I really would love to walk with you through the initial steps to get you involved!

The last thing I want to write about is the relational end of this job. It is crazy to think that I have

I love my students!

developed such bonds with children who live across the world. I have about 50 students who I teach regularly. I have a few I see 1-2 times a week. I definitely have some favorites! These kids are so polite and respectful; and, for the most part, the genuinely love to learn. I know no Chinese--unless it's from reading a menu. The kiddos know limited English. Yet, we have the best time during our lessons! I have one sweet boy who even sent me a gift for Christmas! When I read the feedback from parents, I smile. They often note that they can tell I "have affection" for their children. I really do. I look forward to seeing them. I enjoy hearing about their day. I worry about them if they don't come to class. I get to be a small part of their world! I have never had the desire to go to Asia, but now I'm asking my husband when we can go to Beijing so I can visit the VIPKID headquarters and maybe meet some of my kiddos!

My Twitter Shout-out!

VIPKID is incredible. Sure, there are flaws and things that could be different. Yes, waking up at 5am and being "on" by 5:30am is not very glamorous. However, the positives I have to say about this company far outweigh any negatives. I was flattered recently when VIPKID shared a link to my blog on Twitter! What? Like I said, there are 20,000+ teachers, and I couldn't believe when my blog showed up on my Twitter feed. The team really tries to encourage and motivate their teachers. It really has been such a blessing in my life to have joined the VIPKID team.

I hope this blog has helped answer some questions. I'm sure there are many more out there. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions. If you want to look around the VIPKID website, go for it. Use my VIPKID referral link to take you to the page, and here's my referral code if you need it: 03T5QP. I hope to hear from you! Happy New Year!

Medical Maladies

2017-08-08T12:30:00.000-04:00

***Disclaimer--this blog post is all about the ups and downs of my medical journey including Crohn's Disease and having to have a hysterectomy. Information shared is meant to encourage and possibly incite laughter while discussing pretty disgusting, but serious topics. Those who are faint of heart, or of stomach, probably shouldn't read this post. My hope is to encourage people who have any of these issues or who know someone who does.***

My sister (Andrea) and me.

My family has a history of crazy medical mishaps. From accident-prone tendencies to genetic jinxes, we have done our part to keep the doctors, nurses, and hospitals in business. When I was in 10th grade, I picked up mononucleosis. Unfortunately, I didn't get it in any flirty, fun way (wink, wink)...nope, my younger, nobler sister went on an mission trip and contracted mono from a water fountain (so believed the doctors). Growing up, we would share drinks (like taste this milkshake or taste how bad this "suicide" fountain drink is). Mono looked different on the two of us. My sister got really sick--she had a combo platter of illnesses that stemmed from mono and landed her in the hospital. I was listless, lethargic and simply unable to function normally. She and I both missed a month of school and were on the homebound program where we had a teacher who we not-so-lovingly referred to as Mrs. Lucifer. After a long recovery, we went back to school and were back to normal...or so we thought.

As a little girl and teen, I had seasonal allergies and had to take four allergy shots once a week. Every fall and spring, I would have a week where my voice would be Rod Stewart-raspy or completely gone. When I was in 11th grade, I started having longer stints where my voice would disappear. I loved to sing--I was in the youth choir at church and chorus in school. My parents and I started off at my regular doctor who directed us to an ear, nose and throat doctor and allergist. After a series of tests and procedures from those guys, we were sent to Bowman-Grey Hospital in Winston-Salem. There, I was under the care of a very entertaining and eccentric doctor (which I, of course, loved!). I have written posts earlier about the tests, procedures and surgery during that time frame, so if you're up for a laugh and a cringe, scroll back through my blog! Ultimately, it was discovered that my left vocal cord was completely paralyzed. I kept losing my voice and developing cysts/polyps/nodules because the right vocal cord was doing the work of both. The solution was to inject a silicone implant into my left vocal cord to fatten it up so the right vocal cord didn't have as far to work (insert silicone implant joke here...). After surgery, my voice changed a little, and my singing range shifted; after a long voice rest, I was allowed to start talking and singing again.

During my senior year of high school, I started to experience a new set of medical issues. I was dealing with a swollen abdomen, severe abdominal pain, fevers, weight loss and rectal bleeding. Back to the doctor we went. I underwent another series of tests and procedures including an illustrious colonoscopy when I was 18 years old. I will never forget that day. I was the only female going in for the procedure and the only person under the age of 60. Hence, the recovery room being nothing short of a Saturday Night Live sketch moment where the young lady is surrounded by an orchestra of gassy old men! I firmly believe in the mindset of finding humor in every situation. After the colonoscopy and a few overnight emergency visits to the hospital, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease (more info on this disease here). The summary of Crohn's Disease is that it is an inflammatory, auto-immune disorder that can materialize anywhere in the GI tract from mouth to anus. Crohn's can look different on different people. For me, it was losing my appetite causing rapid weight loss, and when I did eat, I would be sick within at least 20 minutest. It also meant every time I was in the bathroom (8-12 times a day), I would pass blood in my stools or just blood. It meant a pain in my gut that would go from feeling a campfire to a herd of buffalo stomping my organs to a vice grip squeezing my insides to a radiating ball of fire moving all over. I would stay weak. I would have no energy. My skin started to feel thin and dry out. The joints in my hands, hips and legs would throb. The first round of treatment for me was steroids...you know, the quick fix. I hated steroids. I would feel so mean and on edge. Yes, the symptoms would go away...as longs as I was on the steroids. Steroids aren't a long-term solution, so I took them while we looked for other medications. At this stage of the game, there was not a lot of information out there about Crohn's and most medications were still in testing phases...the ones that were available were very expensive. By this time, I had married my first husband who had joined the Navy. Thank God for military insurance! Without that benefit, I highly doubt I could have been on medication.

Crohn's Disease is a chronic illness meaning I will have it until I die. However, it can go into remission. Concerning pregnancy, if Crohn's is active when conception happens, it stays active; and vice versa. With my first pregnancy, I was in remission and had a pretty healthy pregnancy until the premature labor happened. During my second pregnancy, Crohn's was active. I was carrying twins with my second pregnancy and ended up losing one of the babies. I was put on bedrest. I was having iron injections twice a week. I was on strong medication. The third time I conceived, my Crohn's was active, and I miscarried. Throughout the past 18 years, I have had seasons of health and energy and seasons of pain and lethargy. I have been on several medications, have done the diet/juicing route, have taken herbal supplements, have removed elements from my diet. There are foods I have cut out of my life because I know what the result will be if I eat them. But, when my Crohn's is active, everything I eat or drink or don't eat or drink has the same results. Over the past 2 years, my Crohn's has set-up in 2 inches of the lower left quadrant of my intestines. When it is severe, you could actually look at my stomach and see the swelling or touch my belly and feel the knots of ulcers and inflammation. The level of severity was so major this past year, that I would pass out frequently from blood loss and pain. I missed work, which I had never done before. And, I felt as if I was fading.

When I turned 30, I started having issues with menstruation. I highly doubt that there is any lady out there who has had a great experience with that part of life. I know so many women who have had crazy pain and struggles with their reproductive system. After 30, I started having progressively worse months. Over the last year, I was having a week of bleeding, a week off, another week of bleeding, etc. For the past year, two weeks out of the month, I would be losing blood from Crohn's and from a period. When this started, I went to my doctor's office, but my regular doctor was out of the country on a mission trip. The physician's assistant ordered an intrusive ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries, but basically determined I had suffered a miscarriage. When the issues persisted, I went back to my regular doctor who ordered another ultrasound where it was determined I may have had a uterine fibroid on the left side of my uterus. So, birth control pills were prescribed at a higher dosage (as I had been taking them for quite some time). I waited a couple of months, and checked back in with my regular doctor as nothing had improved. During this time, I was also seeing a new gastroenterologist who had determined my Crohn's was approaching extreme symptoms and was wanting me to choose a new drug to try from a list of 3 very expensive and quite scary medications. My regular doctor sent me to a gynecologist who performed yet another internal ultrasound. While I hated the procedure, I appreciated the doctor who talked with me through the images on the screen. He was extremely concerned with what he could see but more worried about what he could not see via an ultrasound. My husband (Brian) and I had already talked about what the options would be, so we were prepared when the gynecologist suggested a hysterectomy.

My husband (Brian) and me. #1 fan!

At age 36, I went in for a laparoscopic vaginal hysterectomy. My doctor warned my husband and me that he wasn't sure what all he would have to remove once in surgery. I was as prepared as I could be. He (and my regular doctor) were both very concerned about the surgery's effect on my Crohn's. Where the Crohn's activity was located was dangerously close to where the surgery would have to take place. The biggest fear for all parties involved was how the Crohn's would react to the surgery--the fear was of a substantial flare-up that could have major ripple effects. However, we all agreed the surgery was what needed to be done. I had resolved that Crohn's Disease symptoms will always be a part of my life, but that if we could eliminate the other medical issues, that would be incredibly helpful. The trade-off would be that the potential for surgical menopause to occur and hormone replacement therapy to begin could happen depending on the level of hysterectomy that was performed. After the surgery, my husband and I learned that the doctor had to do a total hysterectomy (removal of uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, and ovaries). My uterus had fibroids in, on and in the lining of the uterus. Endometriosis was covering my uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries.

I was mentally and emotionally prepared for the hysterectomy. Brian and I were in agreement, which really helped. I wasn't prepared for the pain after the surgery. And, the recovery felt like 6 months rather than 6 weeks! BUT, I know it was what was right for my health. Here's the incredible part. The week before my surgery, we went to the beach with our family. I was prepared to be sick due to Crohn's; and I was prepared for higher symptoms since we would be enjoying fried seafood goodness. After 2 years of CONSTANT pain and bleeding profusely every time I went to the bathroom, while at the beach, the symptoms stopped. And since that week, I have had NO Crohn's symptoms at all. Now, I'm sure several of you have theories of what happened. I know the doctors said that should not have happened and that the surgery should have had a negative effect on my Crohn's. I am a person of great faith. I am surrounded by people who are like-minded. I firmly believe that through the power of prayer to the one true God, I was relieved of those symptoms. I don't know how long that relief will last. I am a realist and understand what a chronic disease is, but I am extremely grateful to the Lord for giving me a time of physical peace and rest during one of the most physically stressful and traumatizing times of my life.

I don't know what my medical future holds. I don't know if there is a connection to all of my medical maladies (I do think it's interesting that all of the "big" things show up on the left side of whatever issue). I don't know how long I'll be well. I do know that through every medical battle, I have been blessed by faithful family and friends. I know that the One who created me has a plan for me even though I couldn't tell you what that plan is. I know that laughter is a great pain reliever. And, I know I am the most fortunate woman in the world to have the love and support of my husband and our amazing children. I want to be a light and source of encouragement for others. If you or someone you love is struggling, hurting, questioning..whatever...please contact me, as I would LOVE to lift you up in prayer!

A BIG part of my supportive family! BLESSED big time!

VIPKID 1st Class!

2017-08-07T10:49:00.001-04:00

Click here to use my referral link to learn more about VIPKID!

Here's a short update about my VIPKID experience. Last Friday, I sat down and wrote out my availability for VIPKID on my desk calendar, then went through the calendar on the VIPKID website and entered the same information. All of the training warns that the first month is the most difficult as fas as filling up your calendar. The more you work and reviews you earn, the more the parents will sign up for your slots. Over the weekend, I had 6 time slots filled...not too shabby for just starting out. (Remember, I am being paid per lesson, not hour. My base pay is $8 with $1 bonus for starting and ending the lesson on time as well as opportunities for other bonuses.) Payday is between the 10th and 15th, so I will keep you posted on how that works out. My husband and I are opening a separate account just for the VIPKID transactions for a multitude of reasons, and I am not foreseeing any complications with that.

This morning, I had my first teaching experience. I have to say, it was fun, easy, and goes by so quickly. The little boy I worked with was all about the business of learning. I could tell a parent was close by helping to keep him on task. But, he was a delight. The powerpoint lesson was easy to use. I logged in about 30 minutes early to go review the slides and pull out any of my supplemental materials that would be helpful. Last night, in preparation, I pulled up the link to the lesson on my phone using the VIPKID app, which is very user-friendly. I went through the slides quickly just to have a heads up. There is also a tab on the app and the website with feedback from other teachers who have worked with each student. That is an incredibly helpful tool! As we went through the lesson, I kept a little notebook to the side and jotted down any notes for the next teacher (example-Student blended words well. He struggled with the word "playground". Student chose option 1 for his end of unit task). During our lesson, there were a few times where the student's audio went out and one time where his camera froze. I noted those things in the feedback as well.

So far, I am really enjoying and impressed with this experience. I have been invited to an online certification workshop to expand my opportunities with VIPKID. I have joined the "Hutong" community where VIPKID staff and teachers dialogue and have fun challenges to complete. Basically, anything they send to me, I try. If you are interested in working from home, have a Bachelor's degree and a love for kiddos, then I would definitely encourage you to learn more about VIPKID. I am happy to answer any questions I can, and I look forward to sharing the journey with you! (If you want to help me make a little $, use this referral link!)

My VIPKID Supplemental Supplies

2017-07-27T16:40:00.004-04:00

My last post shared about getting started with the VIPKID company teaching Chinese children English online in a virtual classroom. Please check it out for more information about the company and where I am in the process!

One of the requirements for VIPKID is to have supplemental materials. My kiddos are older, so I didn't have a lot of beginning reading, phonics, and writing things around the house. I also wanted to pursue this job to make money, not spend lots of it on teaching materials. So, I went to the tried and true Dollar Tree to find the bulk of my materials. Supplemental materials are needed for the teacher's background, letter recognition, writing, reinforcing, modeling, and incentives...and to make sure the kiddos are engaged and having fun! That sounds like a lot, but it really isn't.

BACKGROUND
Since I will be teaching on a tiny part of a screen, it is essential to have a fun background, but one that isn't too busy or distracting. I found the border at the Dollar Tree, the felt map at Target for $5, and printed off coloring pages (which my awesome kiddos colored for me). I have left some blank spaces to add materials once I get into the groove of teaching.

Teacher Background

ALPHABET/NUMBERS

I will be teaching the lower-level classes. These children will have very little or no English speaking skills at all. The key is to think preschool/Kindergarten when shopping. At the Dollar Tree, I purchased flash cards and letters and numbers made of foam, magnets, and cardboard. My kiddos and I sorted these then placed them in a baggie and store them in a small tote.

Alphabet Packet

Alphabet Tote

BEHAVIOR/REWARD INCENTIVES

Ladybug Incentive

Now, I am interested to see how this part plays out with the kiddos. VIPKID has it's own reward system where the children can earn up to 5 stars that are rewarded to them on their screen then banked in their account. However, VIPKID encourages high level of praise for the students and they want teachers to implement their own incentive plan. VIPKID provides some via powerpoint slides that can be printed out or used digitally. I bought a few cake sheets and made my own incentive games...for example, I found a huge ladybug magnet to show the student as their token on the board. The objective is to move the ladybug over the leaves to the flower. The purpose for the kiddos is to keep them engaged and excited!

Race Car Incentive

Animal Pyramid Incentive

OTHER MATERIALS

I purchased a variety of other materials to help keep me organized and that I knew would come in handy. Binder for VIPKID info, notes, and paperwork. Big block calendar for keeping up with bookings (even though those are on the app and Teacher Portal). Whiteboard, markers and eraser--every teacher loves those! Sticky notes. Pointer...all from Dollar Tree! I didn't have a puppet, so I ordered one from Target with a long-lost gift card I found while cleaning! Puppets are a colorful, easy, and fun way to get a kiddo's attention and to have them engage! Easy books are also a simple and inexpensive visual to have on hand, along with play food, stuffed animals, and craft stick puppets! (My kiddos and I used Pinterest to look up craft stick puppet printable and made over 100 puppets for animals, food, weather, and emotions!)

TECH REQUIREMENTS
In the FAQ section on VIPKID's homepage, they have all the information about the technology requirements. Obviously, you need a computer with camera capabilities or a webcam. A headset with mic is recommended. I did my Mock Lesson 1 with earbuds with a built in mic, and the feedback I received said some sounds were hard to hear and make out. So, my "big purchase" for my classroom will be a headset. On your computer (desktop or laptop), you will also need to have a wired DSL connection...remember, you are talking to China, so the better the connection, the better the class! You'll also need a current operating system, Flash, and at least 4 GB of memory.

I know it sounds like a lot, but if you are a teacher, parent, or anyone who enjoys working with kiddos, the materials are easy to come by without spending a lot. If you are interested in learning more about this company, please let me know or use my referral code below to checkout the VIPKID site!

CLICK HERE TO USE MY REFERRAL CODE!

Trying Something New with VIPKID

2017-07-27T15:58:00.001-04:00

Trying Something New

After much prayer and affirmation, I made the decision to leave a job in October 2016. While I didn't have anything lined up for after, I had complete faith that God was going to provide for my family and me. He sure did! Leaving that job changed the quality of life for our family for the better in countless ways. My family became my priority once more, not the workplace. I fully believe that God has designed me to be a wife and mama first...BUT, like most families, we still needed an income. I was literally without a job for only two weeks before being asked to fulfill a maternity leave position at the school where my children attend (Francine Delany New School for Children). Once that position was over, my husband hooked me up with another interim position at a school in the district where I grew up. That position was extended until the end of the school year, and I was asked to return this upcoming school year! WOO HOO! While I had been looking for full-time work, it was God's timing that I didn't receive it. Over this summer, I had to have an unplanned surgery that put me out of commission for 6 weeks...so, it was actually a blessing that I didn't have to take time off of a new job.

While looking for employment online, I used every site imaginable. I submitted over 60 applications
along with my resume and educational transcript. In this digital world, the down side to applying online is you become just a form with statistics. I only heard back from about half of the jobs, and the response was always "overeducated and overqualified"...translation, we don't want to pay you for your education or experience. If any of those individuals, companies or schools would have talked with me, they would have known I have never been paid for my education or experience, and that I would have been very willing to negotiate fair compensation. However, they just look at the form and move on. There is no communication, no face-to-face.

While on one of my daily scrolling through Indeed.com's website, I saw several entries for a company called VIPKID. I read the description and honestly thought "this sounds to good to be true", but my interest was definitely piqued. I talked briefly with my husband about it, and we decided I should do a little researching to see what I could find...I found a lot. VIPKID is a company based out of Beijing, China that hires qualified teachers from the United States and Canada to teach children English online. There are several websites concerning job reviews--it's a simple Google search. The majority of what I read all matched up. Ok, I had heard from regular people like me, but what did the business world have to say. TONS! This concept of teaching English abroad while staying at home hit it big with many folks. The following are some articles worth reading:

Bloomberg.com

http://www.scmp.com/business/companies/article/2064369/vipkids-links-chinas-english-students-american-teachers

http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-la-tech-20160822-snap-htmlstory.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2017/01/31/work-from-home-in-2017-the-top-100-companies-offering-remote-jobs/

Instagram Advertisement

After reading these articles and lots more, I started weeding through the world of You Tube to see what those guys were saying. Again, much more positive feedback than negative. I was talking with a friend of mind, and she had heard about VIPKID as well, and she was starting the process of working with them. About that time, I was having surgery and a couple of weeks of inability to function normally. I was looking through Instagram and saw that VIPKID was advertising on there as well...so, I decided to contact the company for more information.

(As well all know, if it's on the internet, it must be true...)

On the VIPKID website, there is helpful information without even having to submit anything. There is a blog with various contributors, and a FAQ section that deals with the nuts and bolts of it all. The website is very organized. Once you do contact them, you receive a checklist to walk you through the steps. As a "list person", I appreciated the layout. The VIPKID app also allows you to view the checklist. The app doesn't really serve any other purpose until you are hired. The picture on the right shows the steps to take---------------------------------------->

The "basic info" section is just that: name, address, education, etc., and it allows you to log in to the Teacher Portal. The requirement for VIPKID is to have a Bachelor's Degree, but it doesn't have to be in education. In this section, however, you do want to annotate ANY experience you have had working with kiddos: volunteering, tutoring, assisting, teaching, homeschooling, etc. After submitting my basic information, I received an email within two hours asking me to interview.

VIPKID "Classroom"

Recording the Interview

The interview process allows two methods. You can schedule an interview with a VIPKID team member, or you can record and send in an interview. I chose the second option simply for ease during our crazy summer. Once you say yes to the interview, VIPKID sends you links within the Teacher Portal of the lesson you will teach during the interview. This lesson is truncated to allow you time to introduce yourself as well. VIPKID makes the lessons and provides a powerpoint for you to follow. VIPKID wants you to have supplemental supplies, like a whiteboard, magnetic letters/flashcards, puppets or stuffed animals. This does not require spending a lot of money, and actually you can probably find things around the house to use. I put together some supplemental supplies from a trip to the Dollar Tree (more on that later). When you record your interview, you will be in the virtual classroom where the powerpoint takes up half of the screen, the picture of the "child" is in the top quarter, and you are in the bottom quarter (if you do a live interview, you will be conversing with an adult in that upper part of the screen). After you introduce yourself, you rock-and-roll with the lesson! Upon exiting the classroom, your interview is submitted.

VIPKID does an incredible job with communication. They are emailing helpful links, reminders, and encouragement throughout the entire process. I have been really impressed with the email conversations I have had with actual people, not just automated responses. Once the interview has

Teaching Prep Checklist

been reviewed, there is a HOST of videos, slides, and documents added to the Teacher Portal for studying for the next step--the Mock Lesson 1. As a parent, I appreciate how thorough VIPKID is in looking for educators. There is a lot of accountability and high expectations are in place. Every step of the process is given a timeframe for completion; I imagine this helps weed out those who are serious and those who are just checking things out.

In order to prepare for the Mock Lesson 1 (which you would do live with a VIPKID mentor during a time that you choose from the Teacher Portal), there is a quiz to take after viewing all of the given information. The checklist for this portion is time-consuming, but is very thorough. This information covers a myriad of questions about classes, timing, techniques, standards, curriculum, and pay. It is a lot to digest! Have no fear, you have more than one opportunity to take the quiz if needed!

Emailing Ninjas

Once the quiz is passed, you receive an invitation to set up your Mock Lesson 1. Think of this as your dress rehearsal for the company. The VIPKID mentor will be looking for your energy level, teaching techniques, ability to follow the lesson, and engagement level. Again, the lesson is given to you ahead of time so that you can become familiar with it...and practice it. The Mock Lesson 1 flow is a short introduction between the mentor and you, then the mentor assumes the identity of a 5 year-old Chinese child with zero English ability. You teach the lesson to that child for 15 minutes. After that, the mentor will offer feedback for your teaching and answer any questions you have. Next, you will teach a 10 minute lesson to the mentor who has become an 8 year-old child with some English knowledge. Once the 10 minutes are over, the mentor will offer you feedback again and give you helpful information for your next step. The Mock Lesson 1 is sent to the head office for review, and there they decide if you are ready to start teaching or if you need to have Mock Lesson 2. If you do have an additional lesson, it is not because of failure; it is simply in place to give you more practice using the mentor's feedback before teaching live in front of a child (and their parents, more than likely).

After ALL of that, you will receive an email to go to the Teacher Portal for the "business end" of things. This is when and where you can review your contract. Your pay will be stated in the contract and the amount is based upon your interview, education, and experience. You also are paid per 25-minute lesson, not by the hour. There are incentives aplenty--for being on-time, for ending on-time, for the volume of classes taught, for teaching over the holidays, etc. Also, the more classes you teach opens up the opportunity for additional certifications through the program--adding age levels to teach, becoming a mentor, leading workshops, etc. This section also has a place for you to download, complete, scan, and load a W-9. VIPKID doesn't hire you as an employee, but as an independent contractor. They don't take out taxes; you have to talk that out with your tax genius. This is also the section where you will submit 1 personal (professional) photo for your profile along with 2 casual photos, a 15-second introduction video, and a written bio for parents to view. This is how you will get your bookings! Parents will look up the profiles of teachers and choose based on what you have on your profile.

Now, you are all caught up with me. This is where I am in the process. I just submitted all of the digital paperwork today. I have been told that it can take about a month to get regular bookings. I have also read and watched that the biggest negative to this job is the hours. The good thing is, you get to pick your hours, the bad thing is the peak hours to work are on Beijing time...which where I live means Beijing kiddos are 12 hours ahead of me. Their peak times for VIPKID are 6pm-10pm, which translates to 6am-10am my time. There are other available hours and a few extra peak hours over the weekend. I am going to give it a try and see if I can manage to book some classes before my other job and after my kiddos go to bed at night.

If you are interested in learning more, I have so much more information; but, it is hard to get it all out there. I have about 20 people in mind who I know would ROCK at this job! Do your homework...read reviews, check out articles, head over to YouTube, and feel free to ask me! I plan on keeping a blog going to share this experience. I am hoping and praying that it is one that uses my skills and helps out our bank account--and, I am counting on it to be fun getting to teach little ones across the world! If you are interested in checking out VIPKID, please click here to use my referral code! (Accepted referrals are another financial incentive!!!)

https://t.vipkid.com.cn/?refereeId=6399313

What Are You Good For?

2017-01-15T21:05:00.001-05:00

In our homeschooling day, I used the Magic Tree House series to put together unit studies for my kiddos. Each book takes the main characters, Jack and Annie, through time to visit different places. They travel to prehistoric times, to China, to Egypt, to England and all over where they meet fascinating people and complete clever tasks. I have always enjoyed reading this series with my children and with the children I have worked with in classroom settings. My two have definitely aged out of the series, but I hold on to my complete set so that I can keep the stories filled with both non-fiction and fiction, fact and fantasy, reality and imagination to share with the kiddos that continue to come into my life.

In one of the books, Leprechaun in Late Winter, Jack and Annie travel to Ireland where they are mistaken for servants in the house of a wealthy family where a young lady with a major attitude resides. The young lady is appalled at the sight of the children. She asks them what their skills for housekeeping and farming are in order to see if they are an appropriate fit to work in her family’s home. At one point she asks Jack and Annie, “what are you good for?” The last time I read this book was over four years ago, but that line, that question always stuck with me. In this season in my life, I keep asking myself that same question over and over. What am I good for?

I think we all go through valleys in our lives where we question ourselves. We question what we stand for. We question what we believe. We question why we are here. We question what’s the point of it all. We question what purpose we have.

There has never been a time in my life where I thought I had it all figured out. Never. I have always had some insecurity circling in my mind, some doubt residing in my heart. I look at my track record, and I am honestly surprised I have made it this far in my life. I look at the teen girls in our home and am painfully aware of where I was at each of their ages: at 13 desiring to be the smartest and prettiest; at 14 longing for attention from young men, and being only a year away from willingly giving away my purity; at 19 giving up a full scholarship to college to get married. And, those are only highlights. I have considered over and over again my first marriage and the contributions I made to it falling apart. I have looked at the friendships I have lost or given up on. I analyze my decisions for the jobs I have had. I reflect on the current challenges of being a wife for a second time and obsessing on not making the same mistakes twice, of being submissive and full of grace while learning to not be a doormat, of wanting to model to my girls the way to be a strong yet gentle lady. I go over every mistake I’ve made as a parent. How many times have I lost my temper? I can count the instances where I used sarcasm instead of patience in dealing with my children. And, step-parenting…I can’t even begin to put into words how that weighs on my mind. I look at my score, and I label myself a disaster.

Currently, I am in a spiritual and emotional valley. My mind is heavy-laden with questions about my existence, my choices, my circumstances. I fight with myself to get sleep, just to wake up in the middle of the night in tears over the dreams in my head coming from the anxieties of my mind. I am battling my old-self. I am struggling with where I fit in. The sins I have fought against my whole life are resurfacing. My selfish nature wants answers now! My controlling spirit wants a plan. My heart longs for peace. I ache for rest. I am going around and around with myself trying to determine what I’m good for.

Because of my faith in God, in His Son Jesus, and in His Word, I am not alone in this valley. While often I feel completely isolated in life, I am extremely aware that it is because I cut myself off. I detach from the God who loves me. I build up fast, hard walls against people to protect myself from further hurt. I opt for solitude over fellowship. This is my sinful, selfish nature at work. BUT, I do believe several things. Primarily, I believe that God created me with a delicate design and that He instilled a purpose in my heart that only I can fulfill. I completely believe that God loved me (and loves me) so much that He sent His One and Only Son to take the punishments I deserved for my life saturated in sin. I don’t fully understand this love. I don’t understand how anyone could love me unconditionally. I don’t understand how a parent could sacrifice a child for the greatest of sinners. I don’t have all of the theological answers that I know many of my friends want to have. I have a simple faith, the faith of a child. (However, if you read this and do have questions that are faith-related, I am blessed to have many great scholars of theology in my life, and I would love to connect you to one of them).

I spend much time in God’s Word. ESPECIALLY when I am in the valley. When I am wading through the mire of my mind, I read and read and read. When I am on the mountaintop, I read and read and read for when I tumble back to the valley. Being in the Bible is the one tangible thing that holds me up. Isaiah 46:3-4 says, “Listen to me…you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He. I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you”. The same chapter goes on to say in verses 10-11, “I say, “My purpose will stand…what I have planned, I will do.” The book of Psalms is one of my favorite books when I am struggling. In Psalm 71:20, the author says, “Though you have made me seen troubles, many and bitter you will restore my life again…you will bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort once more.” I know I struggle with wanting to be in control of the circumstances of my life. I want a plan, all of the time. Here’s what the Bible says to that-“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21). Since I am a believer in Jesus and the Bible, there are words written for me to help me hold on. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” That’s the key…it’s not about my plan or purpose; it’s about His plan and purpose for me. My job is to “continue to work out [my] salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in me to will to act in order to fulfill His good and perfect will” (Philippians 2:12-13). The heart of the issue is my heart. I am focused on my failures, my unanswered questions, my uncertainty and my insecurity. What I need to be doing is redirecting my thoughts to align with His thoughts, and I can do that by spending time in the Bible, in prayer, in Christian fellowship, and under sound Biblical teaching. I am taking those steps, but because I am human and very imperfect, it’s not an easy path…it’s actually heart-wrenching, but I am counting on God to bring me peace and guidance through taking the necessary steps.

I write all of this for two reasons. 1) If you are struggling with questions—why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Why do I keep making the same mistakes? Why can’t I hear from God? What am I good for?—I want you to know you are not alone…believer or non-believer. I would love to know if you are hurting so I can pray for you. If you are anything like me, you may want to be active in climbing out of the valley. I encourage you to reach out to someone you love and trust who can encourage you and climb beside you. If you aren’t currently in a church or faith-based small group, look for one and plug in. The fellowship of believers is healing. Pray—even if you think your words are bouncing off of the moon and back to you. If you can’t say your prayers, write them down. Read, read, read the Scriptures. I recommend Psalms and Philippians. 2) If you are in the life of someone who is hurting and in a valley (and I think we all are), you can be a resource of encouragement. Reach out to the person you love who you know is hurting. Don’t make the conversation about you…let them talk, you listen. Pray with that person…if you aren’t comfortable praying out loud, pray in your heart, but let them know you prayed. Send them a note of encouragement. Don’t try to fix the issue or compare it to your own story. When people are hurting, what they need most is a patient ear, a kind heart, and a warm hug.

To my friends who are reading this, and to those who I may not know who have stumbled across this, I say to you—YOU MATTER, YOU ARE OF GREAT WORTH, YOU HAVE A PURPOSE, and YOU ARE LOVED!!!

Leprechaun in Late Winter, (Magic Tree House series), Mary Pop Osborne, Random House Books 2010. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6425120-leprechaun-in-late-winter

Life Application Study Bible—New International Version, Zondervan, 2011.

A Christmastime Ache

2016-12-22T13:37:00.000-05:00

My Daddy and Me, Dec. 2000

I absolutely love Christmastime. However, there is an ache in my heart every Christmas Eve. Many years ago, my Daddy passed away on Christmas Eve. To compact the hurt that comes with remembering his passing, my Daddy and I were not on good terms when he died. Since Christmas is a time of hope, it is my goal to encourage and share hope with those who are hurting this time of year. It is my heart's desire to challenge those who read this to two things: to forgive those who have hurt you, and to seek help for your hurts.

Growing up, my Daddy worked very hard. He always had multiple jobs. I remember that often times we would only see him a little during the week, and mostly on weekends. Our family was good-sized. There were my parents and four children. My youngest brother was born prematurely and had some major medical issues at birth. As he grew, more medical problems became apparent. My parents spent a lot of time and money making sure their youngest child had the medical care he needed. On top of that, my siblings and I were accident-prone and often had our own mishaps that landed us in the emergency room. That on top of the cost of living was pretty costly. Therefore, my Daddy worked a lot.

My Daddy knew no strangers. Everywhere we went, my Daddy already knew people or he was talking to them like friends before we left. He had a great sense of humor—he loved to make people laugh, and he was proud when my siblings or I would crack a joke. He made people feel at ease around him. He was comfortable around the wealthy and the poor. He wanted every person to feel like they had a friend, even those who struggled to make friends. I can remember several times we would go make visits to people—we would go to all kinds of houses and meet all kinds of people. My Daddy would have us recite Scripture we had memorized, sing songs, and sometimes, play the piano. We were his little performers, and I think that made him proud, too.

My Daddy was very talented. He had an incredible voice. He did not have specialty training or schooling to sing. He was taught by him mother and trained with his brothers when he was growing up. He could not read music, but he could hear a song, and instantly know the part he needed to sing, which was often tenor but sometimes baritone. My Daddy introduced me to Rod Stewart on a Beta system he had. I remember hearing that gravely voice and thinking there was no one else like Rod. Daddy also loved southern rock. He had a great record collection, and while most of it was gospel, there were some Three Dog Night and CCR in the mix. More than any other music genre, my Daddy loved southern gospel. He was a huge fan of the Gaithers and anyone who sang with them. In my teen years, every Sunday afternoon after church, a Gaither Homecoming tape would go into the VCR. My Daddy knew every song; he sang along. Now, when these tapes were playing, we didn’t all pay attention to every singer and song, but we did have some family favorites. We all enjoyed Mark Lowry. But my favorites were the ladies and their BIG hair. Vestell Goodman, Sue Dodd, and of course, Gloria, would hold my interest. Every southern gospel group I have ever watched (and there have been hundreds) sing with expressions of such emotion and conviction. My Daddy had that gift as well. There were songs he sang that were some people’s favorites. I remember he was often asked to sing “Beulah Land” at funerals. Our pastor growing up loved to hear Daddy sing “Broken and Spilled Out”. But, my favorite to hear him sing was “The Midnight Cry”. When he would belt out those words, I would feel goosebumps all over and would radiate with pride that this was my Daddy. He loved to sing about heaven, and I know people loved hearing him sing about it.

Some of my most wonderful memories of me and my Daddy were when we would sing. Daddy would often be asked to sing at homecomings, festivals, and revivals. When I reached middle school age, I started going with Daddy to some of the places he would sing that were a little further away than the norm. I remember driving out to a church in Madison County that had one room, a buck stove for heat, windows and ceiling fans for cooling, no electricity (so they would have their events right after church), and no plumbing. Oh, the glory of being 11 and learning firsthand what an outhouse is! As my musical talent was developed—courtesy of piano lessons and chorus classes—Daddy would have me sing a song or two when we would travel. I was always so worried that I would mess up. I wanted to badly for my Daddy to be proud of me. Looking back, I am certain he was; he just wasn’t much for verbalizing it. However, his face would shine with pride when I finished a song without breaking my voice or crying. As I got older, I became more confident, and I would get to sing a few more songs in the set. Music was a great relational component between my Daddy and me…and, I think my siblings could say the same.

My Daddy was also a very skilled craftsman. Again, with no formal training, my Daddy had taught himself to carve. In our garage, he had a carving bench where he would often go to work on his creations. He could take a piece of wood and transform it into something magical. He loved to carve faces; and what I loved about that was no two carvings were the same. He would spend hours carving, shaping, and smoothing out the wood until is came alive. He would often have music playing while he worked, but typically, it was quiet in the garage and all that could be heard was the “scritch-scratch” as the metal tool worked against the wood. Daddy kept some carvings around our house, but most of them he gave away. Daddy loved to make people smile; and, if one of his carvings could bring a little happiness, than he was fulfilled.

My Daddy was a wonderful man. He was hardworking, hospitable, and extremely talented. My Daddy was something else, something that we all are…he was fallen. I fully and completely believe that my Daddy knew Jesus. I know I can’t truly know the condition of his heart or what his relationship with the Lord was like, but I do have a great hope and solid peace that he loved Jesus and wanted to live for him.

I tell you so much about my Daddy for you to get a glimpse of who he was in me eyes. When I was married and left home, I began to learn that my Daddy was very hurt. He had some struggles that had changed his heart and were weighing him down. Because of those hurts, his behavior changed completely. I did what I felt I was being called to do to protect my growing family from the hurt he was suffering from and the hurt he was causing because of his pain. I blame the enemy for my Daddy's suffering. I blame my pride for giving up on pursuing a better relationship with my Daddy. I begged him to get help. He wouldn't. My family longed for him to go back to his "old self". I don't the why or the plan, but God saw fit to take my Daddy from this world on Christmas Eve.

Again, my heart's desire is to challenge you to two things: forgive others who have hurt you, and get help for your hurts. Forgiveness is freedom. Even if the person doesn't ask for it or necessarily want it, you can still give it. You can turn that person over to the Lord in prayer. When you feel anger or bitterness toward that person rise up, stop and pray...pray for them, pray for yourself. DO NOT LET ANGER BE LOUDER THAN LOVE! If you are someone who is struggling with a hurt, habit, or hang-up (terms courtesy of Celebrate Recovery), I encourage you to get help! Go to a counselor, a pastor, a trusted friend. Do not take on the burdens of this world alone! Do not think you are helpless or hopeless. Giving in to the dark will change your life--you'll lose loved ones, relationships will disappear, the you that you were will go away. God has a plan for your life. He can take any situation and work it together for good! I KNOW!!! I have a list of sins and hurts I have committed. And, I found freedom in unloading those on a safe person, in a safe place for the purpose of turning your life around. If you need suggestions of how and where to get help, please let me know! I will get you in touch with wonderful people who can walk with you! Wherever you are in life, whatever struggle you are facing, what ever hurt you are processing, please remember that God loves you, He has a plan for you, and you are not alone!

Christmas List

2016-12-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

Christmas 2015, Atlanta

Oh, how I love Christmas! There's just so much that I enjoy about the season. In every home I've lived in as an adult, the rooms have been filled with trees, decorations, and music. We fill every room with Christmas music for two months. Growing up, Christmastime was always eventful. We would participate in the Christmas plays at church. We would go caroling. We would make crafts to give. We would drive around looking at lights. I'm sure we all have special memories and feelings tied with this time of year. So, today, I thought I would keep the writing simple and share my Christmas list with you...after you read it, think about your answers and share yours! Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2014, me and Hannah

Favorite Christmas:
1. Hot Drink--Apple Cider with Cinnamon Sticks
2. Cold Drink--Peppermint Milkshake from Chick-Fil-A
3. Treat--Chocolate Covered Oreos
4. Meal--Christmas breakfast with Chocolate Gravy
5. Classic Movie (over 25 years old)--White Christmas
6. "Modern" Classic Movie--Elf
7. Animated Movie--Mickey's Christmas Carol
8. Claymation Movie--The Year Without a Santa Claus
9. Christmas Carol--O, Holy Night
10. Christmas Song--Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
11. Giving Tradition--Operation Christmas Child Shoebox
12. Around Town Tradition--Gingerbread Houses at the Grove Park Inn
13. Out of Town Tradition--Christmas lights (Mauldin, Bristol Speedway, Charlotte Speedway)
14. Childhood Memory--Christmas Eve performances in our home...reciting, singing and dancing with my sibling for my parents and grandparents

Christmas 2014, My Fella

15. Parent Memory--every time my kiddos understand something new about the birth of Jesus Christ
16. Scent--Peppermint
17. Outfit--cozy Christmas pjs
18. Ornament--ALL of them! Especially the ones made by my kiddos.
19. Book--Polar Express
20. Message--HOPE, JOY, PEACE, and LOVE shown through the gift God gave the entire world of His Son Jesus. The gift of knowing Jesus willingly gave up Heaven to take on life as a human. The gift of Him willingly giving up His life to take the payment of every sin you or I ever committed. The gift of knowing that because I choose to follow Him, I have the promise of Heaven!

Merry Christmas, my friends! Much love to you all!

These Three Remain

2016-11-09T22:34:00.000-05:00

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love..." I Corinthians 13:13a.

I Corinthians 13 is a Scripture passage that many of us may know from attending weddings. This chapter is often referred to as the "love chapter" in the Bible. It truly is a beautiful piece to read, full of truth, encouragement, conviction, and challenge. I have read this part of the Bible over and over and over. I have read it through the romantic perspective...how do I shape up as a wife when it comes to all of these attributes? I have read it through the eyes of family...how am I using the passage to determine how I am being love to my children, parents and siblings? This evening, I am processing this passage by thinking of my past and future.

I have been blessed to have had many great role models in my life. My Grandmama taught me how to clean, cook and garden. My Mama taught me how to be organized, how to persevere, how to exhibit grace. My Daddy showed me the power of being hospitable and compassionate. My Dad has shown me how to be joyful in all circumstances. I have been under the leadership of incredible pastors and teachers who have poured God's Word into my heart and mind. I was brought up with three incredible siblings, each blessed with skill sets that motivate and astound me.

There are a few "extra" people who have made deep impacts on my life. They were not my physical flesh and blood, but they were those who were in my life from day one. They are still very much a part of my life. While one has passed away, the other three are still here; and I know no matter what, I could call them with any burden and they would pray for me and with me. They are my spiritual role models. When I read the above passage today, "these three remain: faith, hope and love", the names of these powerhouse individuals were brought quickly to my mind.

Aunt Martha, Mama, Daddy, Papa, Me

My "Aunt" Martha is a faith hero. She was my godmother growing up. She was around from the day I was born. She still checks in on me in the midst of the adventures of her life. She is the largest person of faith whom I know. She has the sweetest disposition, a sharp wit, and a fantastic way with words. I have bountiful memories of time with my sweet Aunt Martha. I remember when I was in seventh grade and had written a speech for English class that my teacher had submitted into a contest. There was an opportunity to attend an event to give the speech and the chance to win an award. My Mama went to school at night, my Daddy worked nights, and my Grandmama was taking care of my siblings (who would be less than thrilled to attend a night of middle school speech-giving). My Aunt Martha was the one who took me. She picked me up, took me to dinner, and she and I headed to the event. I remember when I stood up to share my speech feeling confident because Aunt Martha was there. I know she was praying for me as I spoke. That night I won second place. I remember feeling the combination of pride and disappointment. More than that, I remember Aunt Martha hugging me and telling me that God was going to use me and my words. As I have grown up and gone through many trials, Aunt Martha is the one I know I can email with all of the details. I know she will pray over me and the situation. I know she will point out God's truth through it all. I know she will remind me that God is sovreign. She has faced her own trials through life, and through them all, she gives God the glory. Her faith never seems to waiver.

Tyler, Uncle Chip, Me, Aunt Denise, Timothy

There is a couple in my life who radiate with hope. My "Uncle" Chip and "Aunt" Denise always seem to remember that no matter the circumstance, God is going to show up and show out. These two rock stars were also around at the start of my life. I can remember countless parties, dinners and visits with them. I remember time spent in their home in Charlotte (which was basically where we went on our family vacations. They were always so hospitable). I can remember my Uncle Chip teaching me to drive. I can remember my Aunt Denise making sure I had the best baby showers. I remember when I faced medical trials, Uncle Chip would joke with me, and Aunt Denise would feel certain God would bring answers. When I went through my divorce, they both reached out to me and my ex-husband. They prayed fervently for reconciliation. They had hope that our family could be saved. When they learned the circumstances that would prevent reconciliation, they began to hope and pray for whatever and whomever God had next for me. I remember sitting in the parking lot of a Firehouse Subs a few years ago and having my Uncle Chip pray over the phone for me, knowing my Aunt Denise was sitting beside him praying quietly. Anytime they are in town, we do our best to get together. When I am with them, my hope is recharged. When I get a text or email checking on my family and me, I am encouraged. They never act defeated. They never allowed for me to have an attitude of giving up. They shared their hope with me; and they continue to lift me up!

My siblings and Aunt Rose

When I think of love, I know I was blessed to have had many years with the personification of love in my dear "Aunt Rose". Aunt Rose passed away a few years ago. I miss her greatly. I still have her phone number embedded in my brain, and there are times when I just want to call her and hear her charming southern drawl. Aunt Rose oozed love. She hugged me as soon as I walked through the door. If I sat beside her, she would hold my hand or pat my arm as we talked. When we were younger, my brothers, sister and myself looked forward for the days when we knew we were making the drive to Weaverville. We always had fun running around the yard, walking to the creek, picking tomatoes in the garden, or climbing the perfect tree in the front yard. The highlight of any visit was when Aunt Rose would call us into the kitchen to give us whatever delectable delight she had baked. Everything in her kitchen was made from scratch. Her red velvet cake would melt the instant it touched the tongue. Her Christmas fudge was so good that one piece was never enough. While we would be in the kitchen, Aunt Rose would ask us to share what Bible verse we were learning, to sing a hymn, or to share a Bible story. She always had a smile on her face...always. She knew the favorite dessert of everyone in our family, and she would make that dessert for our birthdays. When my Daddy passed away, I lived in Georgia, and I struggled deeply with anger. I would call Aunt Rose and she would speak Scripture to me. Her tone was like music. No matter what she said, her words were sweet like honey. I remember her telling me that holding onto anger would damage my heart and eventually my testimony. Those words stung, because they were true; but they also began a wonderful healing process. Aunt Rose went through an intense amount of physical pain, especially towards the end of her life. Even then she would say that she was hurting, but she would also have a way loving me and making me feel better. When I lived far away, I always wanted to be able to hop into the car and go see her. Her words were so wise and so loving. Whenever I think of a spiritual role model, she fits the bill. She exemplified the love of Christ in the way she loved others.

Anytime I reflect on my past, I make sure to spend some time thinking ahead to my future. It is my goal to be a person who others rely on spiritually. I want to purpose my life to be as much like Jesus as I can. Anyone who knows me knows how far off that mark I am. I want to train up my children to be those who lead. I want to be a wife who brings only good to my husband. I want them to feel that fire inside that the Holy Spirit gives to help lead others to His saving grace. I want to be the person who gets a prayer request email or phone call and immediately drops to my knees to lift up that need. I want to be the person who faces Jesus at the end of it all where He says "well done". It's not enough to want to be like Jesus or to be a spiritual role model. Like any other goal setting, there needs to be an action plan. With daily time in God's Word and sharing with Him through prayer, I am taking steps to improve my walk. I have asked God to stop me the minute when someone asks me to pray--and that whatever else is going on in that moment goes to the back burner so my mind and heart switch to prayer mode. I am working on developing a more constant state of prayer by talking with the Lord throughout the day. I am trying to commit more of His Word to my memory. I am keeping a prayer journal. I am building a prayer wall.

How about you? What impact do you want to have on others? What kind of role model do you want to be? We all have people looking to us everyday. Like it or not, we are modeling something for everyone. What do you want that to be? What action steps can you make and take to reach your spiritual goals? Who are some people in your life who inspire you and encourage you to get your spiritual walk in shape? Do they know what they mean to you? If not, let them know! If they do, tell them again. I am a very blessed girl. God has been so good to me. He has made sure that I have been surrounded by strong mentors of faith through every season of my life. I treasure each relationship and every memory. What memory will I leave in the minds of the people I love? What memory will you leave? Where do you measure up when reading I Corinthians 13? That passage is great guideline for a spiritual check-up...join me in working on becoming a person who exemplifies faith, hope and love!

Husbands and Wives

2014-07-15T17:00:00.000-04:00

The idea of submission is a hot topic, and I'm guessing it has been for awhile. As I spend more time with ladies who are dealing with separation and/or divorce, I realize that the viewpoint of what Biblical submission within a marriage is a subject that is not being taught, or worse, not being taught correctly.

In Ephesians, the Bible says "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and in himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body...However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (5:-22-33). This passage boils down to a couple of things...women long to be loved, men long to be respected. "Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband often reacts when feeling disrespect and a wife reacts when feeling unloved" (Eggerich, www.loveandrespect.com).

Many years ago, I participated in an incredibly in-depth Bible study, The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This study was not popular when I took the class. The group started with 25 women, and ended with 8 of us. The reason it was not well-received was because it focused on what the Bible, not society, says about the Biblical role of a lady. The week that took a toll on our group was the week we discussed the role of a husband and wife in the home. DeMoss referenced the above passage from Ephesians and stated, "the greatest freedom I [women] can experience is found through submission to God-ordained authority" including God and her husband. (As I have written in previous posts, I absolutely do not stand for or agree with abuse of any kind...if you are a woman reading this and you are being hurt, are threatened, or in danger-GET OUT!!! You are God's creation, gift, and treasure). The idea of a man being in authority over a woman is not at all well-received in our culture. I admit, I struggled with this concept. As a wife, I did strive my best to be the quintessential 1950s housewife. I always enjoyed cooking, cleaning, landscaping, and taking care of everyone...it's how I was wired, how I was designed. I began to have a hard time with some of what I was reading in the Bible. I met with the Bible study leader after class and told her my struggle. I was struggling with knowing how to respect someone who showed no signs of loving me. I told her I took care of the kids, cleaned the house, and prepared meals everyday so that when my husband came home, he would have nothing to do but relax and enjoy his family. I told her I did these things because I knew he worked hard everyday to provide for us, and I felt like that was what I was supposed to do. She told me that I was being conditional in my thinking. She asked, "if he didn't work hard and didn't provide for you and your children, would you still do these things? Would you respect him?" At that moment, I was met with great conviction. I knew the answer...it was no.

That's when I realized I did not fully understand what it meant to respect a husband. I began to dig deeper into what it meant to be a Biblical, godly wife, to know to respect my husband unconditionally. I tried to enforce the message in Titus 2, "train the young women to love their husband and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled" (v. 4-5). I read through and completed The Love Dare and discovered The Five Love Languages. I was on a search to do whatever I could to improve and save our marriage. I knew that I had to do my part, I had to be the wife that I was called to be. I was not perfect, but I was committed and was learning non-stop, trying new tactics, and giving my energy to be a wife who showed love by giving respect, whether I felt the love was reciprocated or not. "Love is the attitude that says, "I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests." Then the one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision" (Graham, The Five Love Languages, p. 36). I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to know that I was secure. I also knew that it was my job to show love and respect in spite of my wants.

About a year after this mental and spiritual transition is when my marriage ended. I fought internally for a long time with the questions that plagued my mind. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why didn't God honor my willingness to have Him change my heart and mind? Why didn't He save our family?

I revisited Ephesians. I pondered if knowing what I do now, having lived through what I did, would I still be able to respect a man? And, the answer is, I think so. How and why? Obviously, my biggest conviction is being a Biblical lady. I want to show both of my children that it is possible to love and respect unconditionally. I want to show Cecely what it means to be a Godly wife whether it's easy or not. I want to encourage other women who are searching to feel loved to be the women God calls them to be in His Word regardless of how their husband treat them (again-I'm not talking about abuse). I want to remind them to be a Biblical wife who shows unconditional respect to her husband. I want Cecely to grow up to respect her husband, for Titus to respect his wife, and for both of them to understand the huge responsibility men have to be the leaders of the home. I do not want either of my children to view men as laughingstocks, rather to see their Dad, Uncles, and Grandfathers as leaders who require respect because God says so. I want them to understand that if He says it, we should do it.

A few years ago, I read the book Wild at Heart under the advisement of one of a friend. This book is incredible, and I recommend it to everyone, man or woman, even though it is geared toward men. Men want to be respected and women want to be loved. But, our culture has diluted what a man was made to be. Men are portrayed as bumbling morons and encouraged to put aside the drive that God placed in them. "He is the Lord the captain of angel armies. And when Christ returns, he is at the head of a dreadful company, mounted on a white horse, with a double-edged sword, his robe dipped in blood. Now that sounds a lot more like William Wallace than Mother Teresa. No doubt about it--there is something fierce in the heart of God" (Eldredge, Wild at Heart, p. 29). Conversely, women have been taught to downplay their femininity. "The world kills a woman's heart when it tells her to be tough, efficient, and independent...All we've offered the feminine soul is pressure to "be a good servant"" (Eldredge, Wild at Heart, p. 17). According to Eldredge, "In the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue" (Wild at Heart, p. 9) and "every woman yearns to be fought for...wants an adventure to share...wants to have a beauty to unveil" (Wild at Heart, p. 16-17). I wholeheartedly agree.

I believe that the desire to be respected and loved is in each one of us. The reason for so many failed relationships and marriages is sin. Selfishness, entitlement, envy and a plethora of other issues work their way into our hearts, minds and relationships. There isn't a quick or easy fix, but there are solutions! My daily prayer is "create in me a pure heart" (Ps. 51:10). I am a mess. I am a sinner. I screw up a gazillion times a day. I have to ask God daily clean my heart, renew my mind, and restore my spirit. The Bible is the most direct way to find out how God made you and who you are in Him. He designed man in His own image. He gave man the gift of a woman to share life with. He gave us an instruction book to tell us how to live, how to act, and how to be the spouse He envisioned when He planned marriage. Now, I know it is not popular for a woman to submit. It is not the way of the world for a man to be brave and bold. BUT, that is how God made us! "If a man is the image of the Lion of Judah, how come there are so many lonely women, so many fatherless children, so few men around?..How come when men look in their hearts they don't discover something valiant and dangerous, but instead find anger, lust and fear?..And so most women lead lives of quiet resignation, having given up their hope for a true man" (Eldredge, Wild at Heart, p. 41).

Personally, I want a real man. I want someone who will fight for me, protect me, and love me. I want to be a woman who makes a man feel supported, encouraged, and respected. I want to cook, clean and care for someone. I am in the stage right now where I am still asking God a lot of questions. I am still waiting on Him to fulfill some of His promises. I am fighting to keep hope in my heart. I am praying He gives me the opportunity to be a wife again in the future. If I obey God and His Word, I will have the desire to show unconditional respect for my spouse. If I remain true to His call on my heart, I will feel loved by Him even if I don't feel love from a husband. Learning how to love is not easy. Learning how to love again is extremely daunting. Learning how to love another person under God's design and plan is challenging, but, it is an adventure. And, that is definitely what I'm looking for...a real man to respect and an adventure to have!

Tomie dePaola Day

2012-09-14T15:30:00.000-04:00

My kids and I love books. We love to find an author who we all enjoy, and then we like to do an author's study. We read about the author's life and career. And, of course, we read several of the author's books. Tomorrow is Tomie dePaola's birthday. He is by far one of our favorite authors. If you have kiddos (and even if you don't) I encourage you to check out some of his books from your local library. Tomie uses his life experiences and turns them into whimsical stories that we all can relate with. He also has a talent for taking old stories and giving them a timeless touch.

Today, the kids and I read 14 Tomie dePaola books. We watched a few YouTube videos of interview with him. The kids have worked on comic strips, book reviews and some of their own dePaola-esque art. We also had some Strega Nona Noodles for lunch...she's one of our favorite dePaola characters! We hope you go out and find an author you and your kids enjoy and learn a little bit more about that person!

Play with your food!

2012-06-01T09:57:00.002-04:00

Do you remember when you were younger, and your mom would say, "don't play with your food!"? I remember because I say it to Titus at almost every meal. Titus can turn carrot sticks into a soccer game, grapes into race cars, and French fries into football games. Almost everyday, I am saying to Titus, "please pay attention and stop playing with you food!"! A couple of days ago, I was prepping vegetables, and I noticed how pretty the design was on the bottom of the stalk of celery. I know that sounds strange, but I couldn't help but notice it. I was reminded of the wonderful artist God is, and how He even made produce pretty! The idea popped into my head that we could do an art project using some of our vegetables. I kept the bottom of the stalk of celery, some broccoli, and I sliced up some tops of carrots into different shapes. Yesterday, I put out the paint on the table along with paper and the vegetables. I told the kids we were going to paint with vegetables. Cecely immediately lit up, and Titus said, "that sounds gross". I told him we weren't going to eat the vegetables after we paint with them and that these were parts of the vegetables that usually end up in the trash or compost pile. That rational worked for Titus, and so, the painting began. The kids had a great time and the end product was pretty neat!

Disney Appreciation

2012-05-15T22:22:00.002-04:00

The Disney "Bookstore"

There are a few things that I really do love: my kiddos, homeschooling, and anything Disney. The past couple of weeks, I have been able to combine those three things for the perfect storm of magical learning fun! Once we arrived at the "20 Days Until Disney" countdown, Cecely and Titus lost focus and interest in school work. I decided to take a break from our normal studies and write out some Disney Appreciation Lesson Plans. It has been so much fun for the three of us. I used some resources from TheMouseForLess.com as well as FamilyFun.com. Both of these websites had some great activities for writing, exploring, and creating. I was able to use our "movies of the day" to put together math word problem worksheets. It is amazing to me how much more interested in adding together double digits and multiplying my kids become when their favorite characters are the stars of the math problems!

Titus is all "ears".

With our upcoming trip to Disney World, I thought it would be fun for us to have a Disney movie marathon. Each day we watch a couple of Disney movies, follow up with arts and crafts, have a writing assignment, and do math. We have really enjoyed watching the Bonus Features on the DVDs and Blu Rays. We have learned a lot of Disney history and watched some really neat footage of the olden days of movie making magic. We have compared and contrasted princesses. We have discussed the differences between computer-animated movies and hand-drawn movies. We have learned of many of the pioneering efforts of Walt Disney and his cohorts. It has been very educational as well as fun.

Our informational chart about the World Showcase.

On this upcoming trip to Disney, we are going to spend a day at EPCOT. Last time, we weren't able to enjoy all of the World Showcase. But, this time, we are planning on visiting every country. The World Showcase at EPCOT has been a great inspiration for this week's learning. We discussed geography, culture, and language. We categorized which continent each represented country is on. We looked up what kind of money each country uses, what their flag looks like, what their capital city is, and tried a few native words. We also made our own EPCOT passports for the World Showcase. In each country, we are going to look for some kind of sweet treat, write it in our passport, taste them, and rate them. If the country has a ride or movie, we are going to participate. If we meet any characters, we have places for them to sign our passports. I have read that there is a fountain in each country, but some are harder to find than others, so we are going to check off every fountain we find. Finally, we also have a spot to ask a Cast Member for a stamp of each country!

Our EPCOT passports (I could not get the image to adjust for some reason).

While we won't be going to the Animal Kingdom Park this visit, we are staying at Kidani Village at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Upon arrival, we will get a field guide of all the birds and animals who live on the different savannas. We have made our own field guides where we are going to locate the animals, take some notes (was it sleeping, eating, playing, relaxing? Was it alone or in a group? Did we see it in the day or at night?), and attempt to draw the animals. When I told the kids about this project, Cecely lit right up. She said, "We'll be just like Jack in Magic Treehouse!". I LOVE that she made that connection!

Animal Kingdom Lodge Field Guide

So, as we anxiously await for our departure to Disney World, we are filling these last couple of days with a few more movies, making a few more crafts, and enjoying all of those fascinating Bonus Features. We are also beginning to prepare around the house. Today, the kiddos wrote (or drew) their packing list for the trip. Tomorrow, we will begin the adventure of packing...I'm going to try my best to NOT be a control freak and let the kiddos be in charge. Wish me luck!

Fun art from FamilyFun.com.

Our chart identifying where Disney movies have taken place. For example, Three Caballeros is under South America, Peter Pan is under the U.K., Cars in under U.S.A., Mulan is under Asia.

Fun Fraction Food Friday!!!

2012-04-20T16:34:00.002-04:00

I do love using alliteration in a title...over the course of this week, we have been working with fractions. The kiddos and I have used all kind of manipulatives and played different games using fractions. We have also spent time talking about how we use fractions in real life...the most common place I find fractions is when working with food.

We also have been reading about Italy this week, and the most famous food from that country, Pizza! We've read stories, watched documentaries, and made some pizza art.

So, today, we had Fun Fraction Food Friday. We combined our themes and made semi-homemade pizza rolls, performed fraction problems with goldfish and marshmallows, and ate a Hershey's bar 1/12 at a time. Tonight, we are going to make a dessert pizza using chocolate chip cookie dough, strawberries, and Cool Whip!!!


Step 1: unroll crescent dough, then spread sauce

Add cheese

Roll 'em up

Time to bake!

Goldfish fraction work

See, math can be fun!

Recording data

Pizza Rolls hot from the oven

Dessert!

Titus has 1/12 of a Hershey's Bar in his mouth

Make that 1/6

Possibly 1/4

Dr. Seuss Week

2012-03-08T10:17:00.001-05:00

This week has been lots of fun. We've been reading Dr. Seuss books, doing activities, and watching Dr. Seuss movies. I love Dr. Seuss. His books are amazing. Of course, they teach great writing skills: using creativity, descriptive words, silly words, and rhyming. But, more than that, his stories are loaded with amazing lessons that are timeless. And, it's not that hard to tie Dr. Seuss' lessons to those from the Bible.

One of our favorite stories is The Sneetches. We watched the old cartoon that used to come on CBS, then we read the book. This tale is full of real-life problems...all about prejudice and discrimination. The kids and I talked about the "star-bellied" Sneetches and how they thought they were better than the other Sneetches because of their stars. We talked about how the Sneetches "without stars upon thars" wanted to do what they could to be like the Sneetches. We talked about how God made all people unique. We all have something special, and God DID NOT make any of us superior to others.

Another one of our favorites is The Lorax. I know that some people have negative views of it because of the strong environmental themes. But, I believe The Lorax can work right along with the Bible. God has blessed us with a beautiful earth full of animals, plants, and amazing places. The Lorax "speaks for the trees", and I believe God has given us the responsibility of taking care of the wonderful Earth He created! We really enjoy the book, the classic movie, and the new movie! There is a silly App for iPhones and iPads...check out the kids!

Cecely as the Lorax


Titus as the Lorax

We really have a good time reading all of Dr. Seuss' stories. Today, we are using Green Eggs and Ham as our kick-off. I made Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast Sandwiches this morning. We've watched the old cartoon, Cecely has read the story out loud, and in a little while we are going to talk about green food, how to use similes, and maybe even write a poem using green things. It's going to be a wubblulous-wondermous-fantasmical week!

Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast Sandwich

Thoughts before the 1st bite...

Here we go!

I'm thinking the smiles mean they like it!

Remembering GrandBonnie...

2011-03-21T20:43:00.000-04:00

My GrandBonnie was one of my heroes. I have a treasure trove of wonderful memories of her. She passed away three years ago from multiple-myeloma cancer. I have spent countless hours grieving her loss, but celebrating the fact that she is in Heaven and no longer has pain.

As far back as I can remember, my GrandBonnie was an active part of my life. I remember going to her house after school and playing for hours on end in her yard. She had a tire swing on a big tree. She always had snacks for my siblings and me...and I mean, the good stuff. She had Nutty Buddy bars, fried apple pies, and ice cream sandwiches ready for our greedy little fingers and mouths. GrandBonnie came to every school play, every recital, every church event...anything that we were a part of. While she didn't vocalize it, she showed us that she was one of our biggest fans.
GrandBonnie was a fantastic cook. She was of the good-old-fashioned school of cooking. She used butter in everything...this was pre-Paula Deen, mind you. Her biscuits literally melted when they hit the tongue. Her pot roast cast an aroma that could be taste before entering the house. At Christmas, she made the best treat of chocolate gravy to put on our biscuits. I am thankful that GrandBonnie took the time to teach me to cook. Every time I fix a roast, I get misty-eyed thinking of her.

GrandBonnie always had the most incredible flower beds. Regardless of the season, there was always something in bloom. Her gardens overflowed with azaleas, rhododendron, snapdragons, johnny-jump-ups, and clematis, to name a few. There was nothing my GrandBonnie couldn't grow. I'm not to that level yet in the yard, but I am striving very hard to keep that legacy going.

My GrandBonnie was a remarkable seamstress. She altered all of my prom and homecoming gowns. She made my spring formal dress for college. I remember picking out the pattern and the material. I loved that dress...she told me it was ugly. She made my wedding dress. It was exactly what I had dreamed of. She also helped my Mama and me plan and put together my wedding. GrandBonnie was an artist with scissors, material, and a sewing machine. Sadly, I did not inherit that gift from her...I sure wish I had. When I was younger, GrandBonnie would take my sister, Andrea, and me to work with her at Weddings Beautiful, the bridal salon where she did the alterations on gowns galore. She would let us walk to the neighboring drug store to buy candy. We would get to try on gowns, make signs for sales, and organize dresses for clients. At lunch, she would take us to Burger King...we would get to order a Whopper Jr. and a milkshake...this was a big treat for us.

GrandBonnie was fearless. We lived in a wooded area, and often had to deal with mice, opossums, snakes, raccoons, etc. No living thing ruffled her feathers. I can remember times where she chased opossums out of the garage, had me and my siblings round up mice in the kitchen, and can vividly remember her chopping off the heads of several snakes (which was fine by me...I hate snakes). I remember when she was diagnosed with cancer. She faced that without fear. At every doctor appointment and treatment, she would ask insightful questions. In the midst of the reality of facing death, she was the portrait of grace.

I remember when GrandBonnie was sick. Thankfully, my family was able to move back to live closer to her. I would spend mornings with her watching HGTV. She would complain when "craft" shows came on...what was the sense in making things that would just sit around? But, she loved gardening shows and remodeling projects. As she became more sick, we would sit in silence. The TV would give her a headache. She stopped cooking, and wasn't able to eat. I remember helping her pack when it was time to go to the hospital. I often wonder if she knew it was her last trip when she was packing her favorite nightgowns and pillow with the pink satin case. I count it pure joy that I was able to spend her last days with her. I am thankful that I was able to sing hymns to her and hold her hand. I remember the heartache I felt when she looked at me and told me she didn't know who I was. That didn't stop me from wanting to be at her side nonstop.

My GrandBonnie was an amazing woman. She taught me the value of hard work, perseverance, and showing grace in the most unlikely situations. She was and is my role model. It's funny, because now I catch myself saying things that GrandBonnie would say. The other day, I told my friend not to throw out a container from BoJangles, because we could wash it out and use it again. I spent the entire day out in the yard weeding my flower beds, moving rocks, arranging porch furniture, etc. When I do those things, I feel close to my wonderful GrandBonnie.

GrandBonnie did not spout off words of affection. She did not shower me in hugs and kisses. But, the all of the work she did for me, all the time she invested in me made me feel more loved than a hundred hugs. The life lessons she instilled in me are priceless.