SPACE FOR THE LIMITLESS IMAGINATION

Choices

2013-09-12T01:05:00.000+05:30

Choices ....
How wild are the, yet how wonderful. How miraculous is that we can choose, the way we choose, what we choose, how we choose. I choose to write now even though nothing comes to mind, let alone for the fact that no one even cares what I choose to write. I still write. What I write adds up in paragraphs, posts.... eventually in to a small blog. There are rules on how to write. But I can choose to ignore them or not. One day in the past I chose to start this blog and chose to watch what it might become. Even if it might not become anything, but just another blog among millions.

I never thought I need to watch how my life would be when I chose you. I chose you because I only had eyes for you. I chose you, choosing to ignore whether I would be happy or sad at the end. Well It is not end yet..... rather a new beginning........But I am happy that you chose to be the happiness of my life. I am happy that we chose this life together, walked this path together. I am happy that the choices was instantaneous and we never sought to over think them.

"We never sought to over think them"

Choices can be made with lot of thinking or none at all. Mine had always been with none of the thinking. In other words, I chose to take chances. Looking back, I like some better than others. To be honest some choices led me to trying times, and I had been gloomy and miserable all the time. I thought I must be the most unlucky, cursed soul of all.... and there is no escape. Then at some point later, I had the opportunity of choosing again. All the suffering times always felt really long and when happiness did come, I felt like it went away faster than it should be. Then came the time to choose again.

Today, standing where I am and looking back, I do wonder ...... what if the choices had been different? Did they really made any significant difference? Then I can't help but see they never stopped me from being me. They never stopped giving me a life I am happy about.No matter how or what way I chose .. I had been and am a happy person. If I had to do it all over again I might make the same choices without loosing my sleep over them.

It isn't the winter always... summers do come, springs too come... if the sky had been grey it would be blue again and flowers will bloom. There will be sunshine......

And I think What more do I want from life, than to live my life making choices and knowing that there will be another summer. ......if it had been the Winter yesterday.

LIFE

2013-01-23T22:50:00.003+05:30

Life in its everyday is precious. Life with no rules, that fly away freely is breathtaking. In our thoughts that time can be indefinite, vivid, thus almost never grows old..

College-days, vivid today as it was then. that was one beautiful time of my life, brought to the present in a fraction of second. Those high stone grey walls, high pillars, old wooden doors that was covered in dust. I thought I hated them then, never really realized how much I loved them. I mingle with those moments from my mind and there are no walls, boundaries to stop me from living in that place where the time has no meaning.

I visit our own favorite restaurants where we crammed together and used to ate on collections when there was no money. Just a coffee was more than enough for a musical conversation. Money, Time, Traditions, race to the top were never a concern, there were no such things. That was one time when a everyone and every-moment was equal. I enjoy myself sitting in the lucid moments when Ani's Guitar sang with Ani and Sahan amid of fading away Cigar smoke mixed with fresh coffee smell. I hear we laugh and a smile flourishes from my lips in the parallel universe of today. It is parallel when I am living both moments and when time has stopped flowing around me. I was not a wild one even then, but these are the wildest moments, that I hold on to when I have traveled so far from that juncture in real time.

Life in its every real moment is awakening. I see the same people today, moved to build up their own little corner in the world. Age has taken its toll in the way they look, yet I see familiar faces, sometimes with husbands, wives, kids, sometimes alone. Sometime ago we were also Teens.... had fun like no tomorrow, responsibilities were never an issue. But in my mind I still see those teens, because to a mind time has no meaning, thoughts are limitless. And I feel happy holding on to them. For me life is a happy one. I continue to build on that. In my happy life, I will have my own youngsters one day and I look forward to the moment when I tell them to live every moment to fullest.

Because Life in its every moment is precious and such moments never grows old. Those are the moments you want to hold on.... when your body grows old but your mind is still young.

Silent Tale

2012-03-14T23:39:00.000+05:30

The old Oak which used to stand firmly

Through the howling wind breaking apart his wings

Time flew over him

The fierce Storms and burning Sun

Turning his trunk white and branches weak Once Young and supple

His Bark is now withered with many wounds of time

Heavy upon that wrinkled skin

He has seen them all

The forgotten people

The abandoned hopes

Eras of glory and Eras of soberness or dark

He lost count of how many

May be he never cared

The Old Oak trembles now and then

As the crying grey sky

Wets the twigs which are left

Dripping through the splits of wounds

Years have wrought and overgrown

He has made every single one of them

A cleft in his bark

An Encapsulated memory

Lost now in a silent tale

Of that hazy grey eyes

Growl

2012-03-09T11:29:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I feel

Growling like a Dinosaur

In a wildly hoarse exhale

Deepest bottom of the Vocal cords

Terrifyingly loud

Thundering sound

Sometimes I give it a go

And merely sounds

A Barely audible Human

That nobody seems to listen

Going 30

2012-03-05T22:05:00.001+05:30

Would life ever be so simple?

When

Mornings were for the school

Days were for the friends

Evenings were for the fights with father

Nights were for the movies

Love was at first sight

Tears or laughter meant

spur-of-the-moment

How everything was so amicable?

When

Sincerity ruled the moments

No lies, no plastic smiles,

Or feigned emotions

How everything was so beautiful

When you were yet

Four years to twenty

And weighed less than fifty

CAPTURING

2012-02-21T21:44:00.001+05:30

Another Sunday is passing by, another day of another Week of another Month just flaws across and February is almost passing. Yet I’m still sitting in my balcony, just the same way I did last Sunday, I did last year, always….

Imprisoned by the striking beauty of what Mother Nature has created with final few rays of Sun. The golden yellow portrait of paddy fields, the golden tree tops… purple sky, queer darkness under the mango trees…My eyes …trying to seize every drop of it, before everything whither itself in the blue night.

“A love of Life” by Yaani flaws from somewhere far away….I‘d close my eyes let myself get drowned…. and wonder if I can preserve the beauty. However, I feel I do a poor job in capturing.

So I just close my eyes and allow the feelings flow through me. Dive in a failed attempt of trying to figure out what I feel... Maybe if I could know... Just know what I feel.

Then suddenly somewhere from the sky you come and smile at me … … I want to hold on to you so much but you fade away like the Golden Sunshine did…I wonder why can’t you just stay... stay a little bit longer. I wonder... Just wonder maybe we could both sit here with hand in hand. I want so badly to preserve the moment, yet can’t stop it from fading away... I can’t stop you from shrinking away...

I open my eyes … in to the nothing but darkness... I wonder how darkness resembles the feelings your smile has left deep inside somewhere. I wonder at how I can relate... I want to write my evenings down for you, yet when I give it a go I feel I do a poor job of capturing. Or may be words do poor job of expressing?

So I put down my pen and lean back … I close my eyes … melodies of Yaani filling the starry night … I hope that I would never have to open my eyes again .. Then maybe you would come… just once again … your sweet eyes would dawn on me and darkness would be wiped away.

Amanda

2011-07-23T15:42:00.000+05:30

We named her Amanda

Coz we loved that name

The Apple of my eye

The Diamond Crown

I was eager to wear

Beating of her tiny heart

I thought I sensed

I thought I’d felt her

I felt her presence

Followed was a world of Pain

Stirring its way to burst

I had pushed underneath

Just go on to forget

“She was never really there”

“Not to be so wretched”

No matter they said

loss hurt the same –The suffocating pain

She would have loved the sunlight

Sing away with Breeze

She would have danced in the rain

Murmur to the flowers

But lost my grip somewhere

And left her in the path

I wish she can forgive me

That it wasn’t my will

And we named her Amanda

Our favorite name

Wished to see how she’d look

And to held her in our arms

When fate gives no chances

My body had dumped her

I could do nothing besides

Cry away my tears

Yet She was Amanda

To I write my feelings

Wrought her in to them

And give her to the World

Freedom

2011-07-23T11:47:00.002+05:30

Braking Free of

A Fugitive who

Sniffs the way though

Capitalist World

With Desperation

HAPPINESS

2011-04-08T10:49:00.000+05:30

We pain

We Perish

We entreat

Only to realize

Spitefulness

Scantiness

Revulsion

Once perceived

Happiness

Angel

2011-03-22T11:13:00.001+05:30

Mutually understood

Moonlit Glance

Of an Angel

Fallen from Grace

Killingly Sweet One

Sitting in

Garden of Eden

STARDOM

2011-01-20T22:32:00.005+05:30

Could I Run Run Run
Run in Greenly fields
Under the hot Sun
On a Sunny Beach

Can I laugh laugh laugh
Laugh with my friends
Whenever I’m Happy
Cry when I’m Sad

Can I taste your Lips?
In a lasting Kiss
Wanna walk in arms
Not make Headlines

Could I Eat Eat Eat
Whatever I want
Never worrying never
Of Extra Pounds

Hate Plastic Smiles
Weaving to the Fans
Whenever it feels
“Oh like they Cares”

Decorated World
One Life for the fame
Millions‘d be watching
Every Step and Word

Back in that Point
Longed for Eminence
Had I felt I’d want
Runaway and Hide

Death Makes Us Equal ( Revision of Relevance)

2011-01-11T15:56:00.000+05:30

We’d be Dead

We’d be Reborn

And We’d fight again

We’d kill again

For a piece of Land

External Appearance , or for a Belief

Does that makes any difference ?

When Death makes us equal and

I cannot come back as myself

RELEVANCE

2011-01-09T23:01:00.002+05:30

You and me

Brother and Sister

Little different in Colour May be

Blood which runs in My veins

Red with same Hemoglobin

So as yours

Bones and Tissues

Of same Elements

Molecular Structures

We come from same place

Eventually ,

We’d be cleared away in the same way

Our Hearts would stop, Breath would seize

And we’d be Dead

We’d be Reborn

And We’d fight again

We’d kill again

For a piece of Land

External Appearance , or for a Belief

Does that makes any difference ?

When Death makes us equal and

I cannot come back as myself

HUMANITY

2011-01-05T12:23:00.000+05:30

Analytical Reports

Statistically forecasted Death polls

Of War Crimes, Hunger, Poverty

Or Ethnic Inequalities

The long list of lucrative topics

Piles of Articles written

Millions of Gatherings

Of yelling Humanity

Pie Charts, Bar Charts to be presented

By the aching Humanitarians

Living on Cloud # 9

Hitchhiking on

Wounds of Third world

Indifference

2011-01-01T00:07:00.001+05:30

The murky coldness, unbearable

Chilling every drop of blood, yet

Ample of warmness ,underneath

Reviving once again

From unknown deepest places

To soaring deadly tides, unbreakable

Rising to unreachable heights

With dreadful vitality

And mystifying grace

I the fearless beauty

Taken so by Awe

Drowned merrily

Blinded by a deadly love

Suffocating peacefully

You the deep blue Ocean

Silently plunged once again

In to an eerie somberness

Nevertheless ……

Indifferently

Scar

2010-12-25T23:28:00.000+05:30

Had I seen

Thickness of Cold Steel

Or would’ve leaned on

Wall of Solid Rocks

Build up with

Bricks of Trust and

Cement of Friendship

I may’ve floated

In the deep faith of

Soft spoken words

Would’ve imagined you’d be there

With such firmness

Of Sun coming up at dawn

Utter Foolishness of

Settling down to

Comfort ness of words

You may’ve never meant

Had only left

The debris of our wall

Which was too quick to crash down

A tough fall

A hard blow in my Gut

Yet powerless to crush me down

The pity my friend

You had to leave a Scar

Incurable in my heart

You’ve build up

The wall of Trust

Had no foundation on

Empathy

2010-12-12T19:34:00.001+05:30

I stopped my tears

I’ve blocked my desires

And turned them yours

From the day you first cried

I wanted to earn

Nothing but your smiles

You looked up to me

And I always knew

I just lived to see

Those moments

My little Bird

Chose her own life

You wanted to join him

Fly away so fast

It was not so long

My love grew archaic ….

I still look forward

To see the smiles I’ve saved

Live just one more day

our cherished moments

My eyes grow dark too soon now

My limbs too week

To walk even Ten feets

for a single embrace

Just the twist of time

Now I look up to you

But my little bird

Building her own world

She can be with me no more

Herself too much busy

I’ve grown too old and grey

And …..

Just a waste of time

Realization

2010-12-02T23:05:00.001+05:30

Quite spontaneous

Wasn’t it between us

All of the laughter’s

And All the tears

Felt as a Soft Rain

Switched in to the Acid

Chocking very slowly

Flushing down cheeks

We drank the Poison

Danced in the Flames

You called it a laughter

Was it Salty Sadness ?

Distances unbearable

Then Irreconcilable

Hatred began sooner

Scratched this heart forever

I yelled so aloud

Punished my self

Endlessly though

Couldn’t get satisfied

So much of hatred ?

So much of love ?

Hated you for mocking me

With charming words

Vacuum and the aloofness

Filled in every moment

Too much we missed

In winded channels

Was it the shame

Or was it fear

I could never accept

You in to my life

We drifted apart

Left so much unsaid

Realization came

Little too late

Poignant Destiny

what we had shared

I can never hate you

You are my Beloved

Boredom

2010-12-01T21:06:00.000+05:30

A White Worm

of a Green Grass

Filthiness of A

Muddy Fountain

Notched Diamond

A worthless Dream

Chilling Currents

Freezing up even Bones

Solemn standstill of Time

Silence and the Emptiness

As if Night with no Moon

Distant Lamps yonder

Makes any difference ?

Nor the ticking Watch

Long awaits Dawn

Sill the Fogs of Boredom

Pulls the Curtains

Brother

2010-11-30T22:19:00.000+05:30

Show no mercy

All they tell

Kill your Enemy

All they yell

In a distinct march

To an unknown faith

Though its unclear

Whom do you hate

life still long

And they don’t cry

So little time gone

Its so hard to Die

End of this alley

Howls deadly despair

Oh my poor Firefly

Why travel towards Fire

Comfort of hugs

Or the Lovers kiss

Forgotten and Lost

Good homely Bliss

Home sweet Home

And Mom’s Cookies

Want to see much

Where she awaits

Home sweet Home

Papa still sings

Want to be much

With him in the fields

Gone are the sweet Breeze

Gone bright Sunlight
Nothing but the Missiles

Or the vicious Gunshots

Hostiles one day be forgotten

Life or the Death Isn't much matter

To same place we always return

In the face of earth you are my Brother

Perfect Companion

2010-11-29T22:05:00.001+05:30

Like the Sun,

Spreading soft rays of light

Burning harshly in the desert

Like the Rain

whispering softly in to the ear

Pouring brutally with the thunder

Like the wind

Dancing across the flowers & fields

Soaring with the power of demolition

Sometimes

So crisp and untainted

Like the morning twilight

Then again

Cold and Solemn

As the deepest Nights

How delightful a life can be

To be here with you

Till the end

No I can’t reject

Or neither can resist

Power that love wields

How wonderful it had been

some one to laugh with

someone to weep with

Even to fight with

In the momnets so dear

Some one to share with

And thus I know

You will live in my heart

You will sleep in my eyes

You will be in my soul

Sometimes with tears

Sometimes with joy

The Perfect Companion

Eyes

2010-11-28T21:49:00.001+05:30

When Stars are shining brightly in crystal blue sky

I always wonder

Whether I can call them your eyes

Then No…

That could be so unfit, coz they are not very bright

And they can never ,convey so much of love

I would try to call them

Diamonds or Sapphire

But I wonder,they still seem lack in beauty

Your Eyes

Are probably more bluer or are they Brown

May be more lustrous

But the truth is

They look much more Sweeter

Always deeper than deep blue ocean

I have drowned my self in

Do you know

Somethings can only be told with eyes

When you look at them they always talk

Not ever with words,

With a shimmer so inimitable

How can I tone them up with any thing

I don’t really know anything would ever be alike

Still I think of them in my little rhyme

Though I spent a whole day

I could only put down some simple words

May beI am not a good writer

and I cannot think of many things

But I hope you wouldn’t mind

For calling them just “Sweet Eyes”

Solitude

2010-11-27T22:15:00.002+05:30

Sun comes up and sets again

Giving way to the cold nights

And I sit by my window

Thinking of the beautiful days ,that we used to spend together.

There used to be so many things to do , to talk , to laugh about .

There was never enogh time.

I never knew , there would be much time ,

There would be much space

Left blank when you are gone.

I never knew there would be so much of emptiness

I would rise , I would breeth , I would eat and then Sleep again ,

I keep listning to the same music,

I keep watching the same movie

Keep trying to fill up the space,

But nothing ever comes close

The world has stopped at one place

Things have stopped at one point.

Do you remember…

We would keep talking about nothing for hours ….

We used to watch movies and argue about plots , characters.

We used to cook together. And you used to always adjust .

Used to laugh telling me how bad it tasted.

“Too much of Salt”

“Hay ..! it got burned.”

You used to call it names and I would get angry

Now I am wondering whether you think of those days,

When life used to be so full and meaningful

I am wondering why I didn’t have tears on the day that you left ,

which is something I never short of

May be I never knew how it would be ,not having you around.

I sometimes close my eyes,

I see you and talk to you.

Sometimes I would ring to your number.

Though I get a blank response

I would keep ringing.

And do you know ..

I keep looking at the Door.

And I think you are gonna come home tonight.

Rainy Day

2010-11-26T12:49:00.000+05:30

It’s been raining heavily for past few days and there is a beautiful freshness everywhere. Wet surrounding, droplets of water hanging from leaves, Soft sun light coming through clouds I can almost see the misty mountains from my cabin window.

I wanted to write about Rain. Then I say to myself …

Who would want to read about Rainy days? Misty, Gloomy,

Wet and Cold … …..

All those are considered Sad and negative.

Still I want to write.

I always felt rain was wonderful, so musical and refreshing.

Every rain drop that touches ground feeds new life to every living being.

And you feel earth laughing with joy.

I can never forget how I loved to walk in the rain, among the trees, on wet grass with my friends around. Rain drops soaking all our cloths.

Tiny water drops feeling against my cheeks, cold wet breeze brushing against the eyes. Then I would close my eyes and turn up to breath the fresh air.

Almost, feeling so lighten up like a flower floating in the wind. Felt like I could fly.

It reminds me the days I spent in my school.

It reminded me the first time I ever fell in love.

It reminds me the university life.

I am almost smiling now while writing this note. Unknowingly

How far have I traveled, while sitting in my office room, waiting for the next meeting to start? I have traveled far in to the past across the time, in my imaginations. To that past, when life used to be so light, free and wonderful.

It’s amazing to think how limitless your imagination is.