When I was a kid, my family had a game that I don’t know the name of.

It was a flat, sealed plastic container about 2″ square,  with a bunch of tiny metal balls that rolled around on a piece of cardboard that had little hole-shaped grooves in it.

The object of the game was to get each of the balls resting in one of the round grooves.

It was incredibly frustrating, and I just didn’t have the patience for it.

Sometimes I think getting my life organized is just like that game.

The first problem…

The first problem is there are so many little balls!

So many pieces that all need to get managed.

And, just like the balls, they sometimes collide with one another. Grrr!

The second problem…

The second problem is that there don’t always seem to be enough “holes” (or hours in the day / week / month / year) to hold all the balls I’m playing with.

Do you ever have this problem?

The third problem…

Is like trying to play the game in the presence of my brother.

Just when I’d think I was almost there – Bam! “someone” would jog my elbow, and all the balls I had in place would go flying, and I’d have to start over again.

Life sometimes seems like one big cosmic elbow-bumper!

Just when I think I’ve gotten things almost under control – Bam! something new drops into my life. Or something that was working smoothly suddenly doesn’t “fit” any more.

Does any of this sound like your life?

I haven’t posted on this website for several months. And you might have been wondering why?

• Have I lost interest in the topic?
• Have I lost my password?
• Have I lost my mind?

I think the answer to the last question is ‘no’.

And the answer to the other two questions is definitely ‘no’.

My Other Passion

You may not know this, but I have another passion in life (training & website-wise) – communication and decision-making. I am honoured to be a certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg.

I am currently maintaining two websites on that topic (which I hope to consolidate by the end of this year):

• www.coachglenda.com – where the blog is
• www.connectinghonesty.com – which articulates more fully what I do, who I do it with, and what services I offer.

And I’m imagining that, for at least the next year, I will be focused at least full-time on that passion and those sites (or whatever the new one ends up being called) – while I continue my reading, research, and experimenting on the topics that appear on this website.

So you might see the occasional post here. Or maybe not.

But please know that my passion is still burning bright on this topic – and I shall be back!

Warmly,

Glenda

The person who cuts my hair is an amazing woman. Earlier this year, she and a friend climbed Kilimanjaro!

I think she really appreciated that I, having had altitude sickness at less than 8,000 feet, had some tiny clue of what climbing to 19,000 feet might feel like, and that I expressed such amazed appreciation of what they had done.

But that’s not actually what this piece is about. It’s about something else she told me about the climb.

To get permission to climb the mountain, you have to have a guide. The guide walks at the front of the group.

And the role of the guide is to slow you down – to ensure you don’t start off too fast and exhaust yourself so that you miss your goal.

The role of the guide

That is very similar to the role I try to fulfill in supporting people with organizing tasks: to help pick a small and easy enough initial goal that it can be achieved.

And then helping to ensure that they don’t try to take on too much all at once.

Because when we do, not only do we not achieve that goal, but we can actually “upset the apple cart” in other areas of our lives.

The importance of leverage

For me, there are 3 key aspects to this:

1. Finding a powerful leverage point – something relatively small and easy that will have a powerful ripple effect on the ease and flow of life.
   .
2. Having a supportive and realistic plan for accomplishing the “leverage” goal.
   .
3. Putting effective and appropriate human support, especially “mini” (5-15 minute) support sessions, in place. After all, if you could have done this on your own, you already would have – long ago!
   .
   So that tells me that what you are working on is the kind of thing that needs extra support. Usually because it just doesn’t seem as urgent or important as the 50-1,000 other things you could be doing in that moment.
   .
   And connection with another person, even just on the other end of a phone line, can help us remember – remember the ripple effect of this seemingly small choice. Like a tiny stream that grows into a mighty river that has the power to light up a city.
   .
   This always seems like something a friend could / should / would do. Any perhaps you do have a friend who has the space in her/his life to offer you that consistent, ongoing, day-in and day-out support with your goal. If so, great!!!
   .
   But if not, perhaps I can help…

If you’d like to book a brief session to talk about what you need and what I offer, to see if there’s a good fit, you can do that here.

When you’re ready to get started, you can book a coaching session here.

I call it the “hamster wheel nightmare”. When I feel that I’m constantly behind. And I run and run and run, but the goal keeps getting further and further away.

Does this feel familiar to you?

I have discovered an amazing simple yet powerful approach that has dramatically minimized my time on the hamster wheel.

How it Works

As soon as I choose to take on a new event or project, I try to take 15 – 30 minutes on that day or the next to set up the project.

There are three steps involved:

1. Set up (a) place to store materials for the project.
   Depending on the project, this may include up to three “locations”:
   – a folder on my computer to hold electronic materials,
   – an email folder / tag for correspondence
   – a hardcopy folder to hold physical materials.
   .
2. Do a quick 5-15 minute planning process outlining
   – The key deliverables I need to produce as part of the project
   – Any key dependencies I have on other people
   – An outline of the steps I think need to take and when I need to take them
   – An estimate of the number and size of “chunks” of time I’ll need to complete the project.
   .
3. Schedule the needed “chunks” of time on my calendar
   At this stage I don’t generally try to outline exactly which tasks will get done in each chunk, unless it is something (like preparing a training course) that I’ve done many times, and so I know exactly what they are.
   .
   In my experience the actual steps in a project and their sequencing tend to evolve rapidly, especially in the early stages of the project, so it’s not worth trying to specify them on my calendar.
   .
   But it is important to make it visible to myself that, by taking on this project, I’ve essentially committed (at least) that amount of my time. Blocking “chunks” on my calendar, even if they later get moved, makes this clear to me.
   .
   One other principle is that I try to schedule most of the “chunks” as soon as they will fit in my calendar, so that if I have underestimated the time required (most of us do), I have a longer runway in which to add in the additional “chunks” and still maintain spacious balance in my life.

Would experimenting with this principle support you to create more spacious balance in your life?

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like help with planning?

For many of us, planning is the most difficult and frequently-avoided task.

It is hard work. We are dealing with lots of unknowns and uncertainty, so it is a task that can easily make us anxious.

Having someone companion us on the journey can help a lot both practically and emotionally – so that the task is much less draining, leaving much more energy and enthusiasm for the “doing”.

And Glenda is a very skilled and experienced planner, who can help make sure no key pieces get overlooked. So you are less likely to experience unpleasant surprises later.

To book a planning support session, click here. You will see information on pricing and timing, and you can book yourself into Glenda’s calendar that works for you.

This is a technique I use for working on multi-day projects that involve tasks that, while discrete, need to have a consistent or “hang together” quality.

For example, writing a multi-part report. Where there are separate sections that can be worked on independently, but it’s important that they have a similar feel and/or a sense of connection between all the parts.

It’s also helpful for working on projects that have a sense of urgency about them – either because of an upcoming deadline, or just a strong internal desire for completion.

How it Works

You know how it is when you are newly in love with someone? How you seem to think of them constantly throughout the day? And how you end up spending much more time with them than you would have thought possible, looking at your calendar?

The “love” project principle draws on this capacity.

Each week I identify one “love” project – the thing that I’m going to think about and work on whenever I don’t have another commitment. I put it on a post-it note that I can move onto each new day’s “to do” list.

The Benefits

There are two key benefits I get from this. One is that I am generally more satisfied with what I’ve gotten done in weeks in which I make this choice. I have a greater sense of accomplishment.

The other is that more “big” projects get done when I take this approach. This is important because “big” projects tend to move my work and my contribution to clients forward in much more significant and meaningful ways.

It is also important because “big” projects tend to be the most difficult to settle down and work on. So having a way to move them forward is very useful to me.

How can this principle support you?

Is there something you want to work on but have been putting off because it seems “too big”?
Could the “love” project principle support you in getting it done?
Or does it suggest an even more useful approach that you could use?

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like a hand?

Do you value these principles that I share, but have difficulty integrating or organizing them into an overall approach that makes your life work smoothly?

Perhaps I can help.

To book a “check it out” session – to share what you are looking for, clarify what I can offer, determine if there’s a good fit, and, if so, identify a next step, click here.

If you’re ready to get started, click here to book a working session. You’ll see information on prices and timing and be able to book yourself right into my calendar at a time that works for you.

I love to live in flow. When I’m feeling fully alive, and one activity just flows smoothly and naturally into the next.

I’ve discovered that this is a right-brain state. And that being on time for meetings is a left-brain task.

My right brain operates in a timeless, limitless universe. Only my left brain has an awareness of time, boundaries, and limits.

What this means for Spacious Balance

In trying to get to meetings on time, or to limit the number of projects to a number I can actually accomplish, I’ve been trying to use the wrong brain – which is to say, my right brain.

I need to use my left brain to help me with those tasks.

Which means that I have to find a way to help my right brain be okay with what my left brain tells me I need to do.

Getting to Meetings on Time

First I had to figure out how long it actually takes me to prepare and travel to each type of appointment. So I had my left brain keep track of when I started to get ready for each meeting, and what time it was when I was actually fully “there”.

FYI – This gave me quite a different number compared to the difference between when I started to get ready for the meeting and when it was scheduled to start!

Then I set a series of timers. This is a very left-brain thing to do, and something that I resisted for a long time – telling myself I “shouldn’t” need a timer.

Somehow knowing that my right brain is both the source of much of the fun in my life, and that it has no sense of time, made it “okay” for me to use timers to help it stay connected to the passage of time.

It was clearly a much more satisfying choice to continue to live most of my life in my right brain, with my left brain stepping in only to set the timers, than to have my left brain watching over my shoulder all the time…

So I set two “left-brain” timers for each meeting. One is for the actual meeting start time (to help me notice if I was on time, or if I might need to do some timer adjustments). The other is for the time that I have learned I need to start to prepare and travel to the meeting.

But I knew from past experience that I don’t actually stop working and start preparing when that second timer goes off.

Learning from Focusing

So I took a piece of learning I’ve gotten from my Focusing training. At the beginning of a Focusing session, the Companion asks the Focuser how many minutes signal they would like before the end of the session.

It takes me about two minutes to complete the “coming out” process.

So I request two signals – one at two minutes before the end, and another one four minutes before the end. This four-minute signal lets my right brain know that it will soon be time to start coming to a close, while allowing for any last messages that might want to come before the end.

It took some experimenting to discover that this is the right amount of “heads up” time that works for me, given the length of Focusing sessions I’ve been having. (I suspect that I might ask for a five-minute signal if / as I start having longer Focusing sessions.)

My Right-Brain Timer(s)

I’m still discovering what is the “right” amount of signal time for my right brain, that lets it gently and smoothly transition out of one task and into getting ready for a meeting. There seem to be two factors that affect it:

1. How long the prep-and-travel-time is – the longer it is, the longer the advance notice I seem to need, and the more signal reminders seem to be helpful. I think this is because my right brain just can’t believe that it can actually take me 1 1/2 hours to get ready for certain kinds of appointments. So it needs lots of time and reminders to ease into that.
   .
2. The nature of the task that I’m doing just before the meeting. The more right-brained it is (e.g., creative work like writing articles, designing courses, or working on one of my websites), the more time and reminders I need, to enable me to ease out of the task smoothly – so it is not jarring.

What about your right brain?

Are there places that you’ve been trying to get your right brain to take on functions that it is just not designed to do?

Do you have any thoughts on how to use the “right” (correct) brain for those functions?

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like a hand?

Do you value these principles that I share, but have difficulty integrating or organizing them into an overall approach that makes your life work smoothly?

Perhaps I can help.

To book a “check it out” session – to share what you are looking for, clarify what I can offer, determine if there’s a good fit, and, if so, identify a next step.

If you’re ready to get started, click here to book a working session. You’ll see information on prices and timing and be able to book yourself right into my calendar at a time that works for you.

I took my cat Midnight to the vet today. When we got home, I finished this whole task by covering four common aspects of many tasks:

1 – Products / Envirocare

• Put away the cat food and two medicines I’d bought from the vet, along with the bag I’d carried them in

2 – Receipts / Financial

• Put the receipts from the visit in my “Enter Receipts” file. They’ll be entered in my accounting system on the next scheduled date. (see note 1 below)

3 – Other Paperwork / Filing

• Filed the vaccination paperwork in Midnight’s “Official Records” file (see note 2 below)

4 – Time and Tasks

• Put my notes of the vet’s recommendations of things I change about my cat care routine in the “Midnight to the Vet” folder in my hardcopy to do system. Then I moved that file from today’s date to the beginning of June – the month in which the vet indicated I should bring the Midnight back for a checkup of a couple of things.
  .
• Updated my time recording system with the length of time the visit took, from the time I started packing up at home, through the visit, travelling home, and putting everything away. This will help me make more accurate time estimates of this in future.

I tend to do “time and tasks” items last, because they often require some level of thought and consideration. I find this easier to do in an orderly physical environment (achieved by addressing the other three areas first.

Is there anything in this example that highlights an aspect of tasks you’d like to include more consciously?

Note 1 – I might have chosen to enter the receipts in my accounting system immediately. And, at the moment for me, it is more time-efficient to do this data entry task with a weekly batch of receipts.

Note 2 – I could include this file in the “Midnight to the Vet” folder. And at the moment, because of its thickness, I’m choosing to store it separately, in the box with Midnight’s food.

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like support in getting your life more under control and in spacious balance?

I invite you to check out the support options, and choose the one that’s right for you.

For me, this is one of those “obvious” principles that was not obvious to me – and yet has made a huge difference to my ability to live a balanced life.

Simply put, it refers to returning objects to their “homes” when you are finished using them for a particular task.

Before Return to Ready

Before encountering this concept and starting to apply it in my life, you’d see me do things like work on a project involving scissors, glue, or tape at my desk and when I was finished, leave things exactly where they were, or shove them off to one side and start the next task.

A few hours or days later when I next needed to use my scissors, glue or tape, they would be covered with layers of papers from other projects, and I’d pat my hand over the surface trying to feel for them. This was always accompanied by a sense of frustration that they weren’t readily at hand.

Using Return to Ready – An Example

Now, as soon as I’m finished the project involving the scissors, glue or tape – or I need to pause my work on it in order to move on to something else – I put them back in the places where they live on my desktop or drawer, and I put any related papers into a folder which has its own “home”.

The next time I need my scissors, glue or tape my hand automatically reaches for where they live and – like magic – there they are! I can feel the relief and ease in my body.

I can also quickly and readily find the papers for any project I’m working on. And the tidier state of my desk contributes to more mental peace and calm.

How Return to Ready Contributes to Spacious Balance

My first inkling of the benefit of this approach came when I was working in an office. I couldn’t understand why I was so consistently late in leaving for the day.

When I started timing myself, I realized that I would do what I thought of as “finishing work for the day”, but then spend another hour doing the photocopying, filing and mailing that I had been piling up to one side all day, thinking that it would be more efficient to do it all at once at the end of the day.

That approach probably is more efficient – the problem is that I wasn’t taking it into account when I thought about when I would “stop working” for the day. So I tried intending to stop work an hour earlier so I could do all that and leave work on time. But I just wasn’t willing to stop doing what I thought of as meaningful work so early in the day.

Thus I realized that, for me, even though it might be slightly less efficient, it gave me a much more accurate sense of how much work I had actually completed if I returned to ready after each task – because it made it really clear what tasks were actually complete and which were not. As a result I began to develop a more accurate sense of how long tasks actually took, so I could set more realistic intentions for the day.

 Other Examples of Return to Ready

1. Coming back from shopping:
   Before starting anything else, putting the newly purchased items away where they go (e.g., clothes put away in the closet, bathroom supplies on their shelf or drawer in the bathroom), shopping bags where they belong, and receipts in my financial filing system.
   .
2. Bringing work back to the office from home:
   Completely unpacking the bag(s) I brought with me and putting everything – my computer, notepads, papers and files -back “home” before starting any other work.
   .
3. Returning from a trip:
   Completely unpacking all my bags before doing anything else (including opening mail, checking voicemail or email). I’ve even developed an order in which I unpack – clothes, toiletries and “fun stuff” first, paperwork next and finally my computer – because I’ve learned that as soon as my computer is set up, I’m naturally going to start checking email.I also set aside time to “return to ready” by catching up on email, phonemail and snail mail that has come in while I was away – or at least reading through it so I’m aware of what’s there – before I start having meetings and taking on new work.
   .
4. There are many home-related examples:
   Bathroom: Leaving it ready for use before I leave by hanging towels, wiping off surfaces, returning any bottles or other containers to their homes, and putting used tissues or cotton balls in the garbage.Kitchen: Putting food away and doing dishes immediately after eating.Laundry: Folding things as soon as they are dry and immediately putting them away.

Adopting Return to Ready

The way I have been able to incorporate this practice into my life is by focusing on one area at a time.

So first it was at my desk – putting supplies away when I had finished with them for the moment. Then putting papers away on my desk when I had finished with them. Then working on what I did when I came home from shopping. Then bathroom, kitchen, laundry in that order… You get the picture.

So what is the area in your life that would give you the easiest “quick win” from applying return to ready?

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like some help? Click here to book a time to talk it through

Two of my favourite authors in the field of time and life management are David Allen (“Getting Things Done”) and Leo Babauta (“The Power of Less”).

The very different approaches of these two authors illustrate the essential tension involved in living today.

The Power of Less

Leo’s approaches speak to the natural desire to do what is alive and interesting in each moment as much as possible – what I might describe as internally-based time management – an approach that works just fine if one’s work doesn’t involve coordinating efforts with anyone else.

But much exciting and meaningful work these days does involve coordinating and combining our efforts with those of other people to accomplish meaningful results that no one person could achieve on their own.

Getting Things Done

David’s focus, on the other hand, is on externally tracking all of what we need to do (e.g., on paper or in an organizer), and tagging that information based on external factors – where am I, what resources are available, what meetings are scheduled, what deadlines are approaching, what tasks have been scheduled for today? These considerations are essential for the majority of us whose work involves coordinating in some way with other people – as clients, coworkers, bosses…

But following this approach can quickly and easily lead to a kind of disconnected deadness – when we rush from commitment to commitment and lose touch with ourselves and the inner spark of aliveness that enables our work to be meaningful, useful and “alive” for ourselves and others.

Life, Integrity, and Effectiveness

Both approaches have value, but neither is complete in and of itself, and neither speaks effectively to the essential challenge of modern life – how to honour agreements we make with others, while also making our most meaningful and significant contributions by doing tasks when they are “alive” for us.

This essential challenge has been an important focus of my life for more than 30 years. I have experimented on myself, I have offered support to friends, family, and colleagues.

In my experience, this challenge does not have a single simple solution but gets addressed by strategies that address it from a number of different perspectives.

In addition, as the nature of our work and our lives shift and change over time, our approaches need to adapt to keep pace with our current realities.

I look forward to sharing with you some of the principles and approaches that I and others have found helpful – and I wanted to ensure that we first had a common understanding of this essential challenge.