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NEW MUSIC: REVIEWED BY PRINCE ADEWALE ORESHADE, ITS @SIMPLYONARII WITH A SONG TO NIGERIA AT 100

2014-01-06T12:05:00.001+01:00

If you haven't listened to Onarii before, where have you been? Please,please,please there's no excuse for that kind of behavior, get a taste of her extraordinary talent here then continue to read the preview and listen to her new single..

After your fire burns out
When the darkness creeps closer
I'll let my light shine all over
Through this valley

Look ahead
please don't turn around
Don't give in
I'll be right here
I'll share my light
this I promise

Through this valley
I'll be here
this I swear to you
I'll die with you
if it comes to it
I won't leave

as I see you move ahead
As I see you move ahead.

This, to me, if Nigeria ever wishes to change either its National Anthem or Pledge is an absolute alternative. It's duodecet poetic form is outstanding. It's a very revolutionary piece in the realm of music forms. Afro-Ambient genre is a very rare occurrence in Nigeria's sphere of music. And the vocal aura with which she sang it transcends a vaulting array of emotions. A rather adventurous and harmonious romance with the Ambient genre.

I think this extraordinary effort was a deliberate attempt. To showcase Nigeria as a very different yet rare nation capable of reaching a remarkable height. The song can pass for a conversation between Nigeria and herself. Personifying Nigeria. 'Herself' could be any Nigerian, or well wisher. An impassioned hopeless-patriotic that wishes to give her nation every light she has in her. Every iota of strength, knowledge, sacrifice and love.

When your hope in Nigeria starts to dwindle, this is the song to listen to. Many songs have been sung about Nigeria, some of them inspiring and others disdainful. Scarcely do we find a song with so much spirit and truth.

She attempts at renewing and further igniting the light of Nigerians to be hopeful with utmost faith in the fate of the nation. Hope being a very strong pillar to faith. That beam of hope that will ignite our light 'to serve Nigeria with all my strength, to defend her unity, And uphold her honor and glory,

' So in the song 'Share; A Song to Nigeria at 100', the singer and song writer; onarii, takes us through a journey of her selfless dogged optimism. One she is convinced that if imbibed by Nigeria's over one hundred fifty million denizens can outightly move the nation to the state our founding father's dreamt.

That rainbow of hope that will make sure 'the labor of our heroes past shall never be in vain.' The optimism that will entrench us 'to serve with heart and might' to build 'one nation bound in freedom, peace and unity.' 'A nation where peace and justice shall reign.'

What if this is the mindset of every Nigerian, won't we have a great nation? I'm sure we will. What Nigeria becomes is entirely up to us. We can defeat the oppositions that will for our extinction or we can fight to glory. We must decide what we want for our nation.

To achieve this glory, we should let our lights shine beyond ethnic idiosyncrasies, religious sentiments, color pigmentations, language barriers, and political affiliations. So that the darkness in which our nation seemingly plunges into will be gone forever.

@simplyonarii is a Nigerian artiste based in Jos. She sees her music as an instrument to bring about social, political and philosophical change. One that can change the world to be a better place.

Prince Oreshade Adewale, @princeoreshade, is a Lawyer, Poet, Novelist and Social Engineer with great passion for World peace. He loves Culture and Arts.

MUSIC REVIEW BY ADEWALE ORESHADE: ETHEL SOLENGA BY @SIMPLYONARII; A SUNG ELEGY TO A DRUG ADDICT!

2013-12-20T19:14:00.001+01:00

Adewale Oreshade is a lawyer , he is also a published poet and more recently a music promoter of some sort. If wale says something is good, you can bet it is, especially when it is something literary. Do enjoy the review and download the beautiful song by @simplyonarii after the cut..

Just as an overdose of heroin took the life of Glee's Star, Cory Monteith, and one of earth's music legends, Whitney Houston, it took the life of a childhood friend of Onarii. Onarii is the ingenious vocalist that sang that heart touching Ethel Solenga. One that laments the passing of her dear friend. The devastating effect of drug abuse can not be over emphasized. An example is Whitney, who is 5 feet 8 inches tall. She died of drowning in a 'bathtub' after the use of cocaine. Except the bathtub is as tall as she is, which isn't the case, her death epitomizes the havoc of being 'high'.

Ethel Solenga is a soft-rock, fused with soul-fusion with an orchestra classical feel. The song did not only tell the graphic tale of how drug abuse engulfed her friend, it pleads to every present user to stop it's usage. In Jos, where she resides, there had been cases of pharmacists who have been selling these drugs under direct threat to their lives. In her effort to change her immediate world, she sang this song and has been touring secondary schools across Jos to preach against the vice; drug abuse, to the youth.

Ethel was a childhood friend of Onarii. She was a very down to earth young lad full of life. They were very close. Then suddenly she withdrew from her. She thought that it was just maturity setting in. After all, ten childhood friends can't be friends forever. So she thought. Until, it turns out that the withdrawal was because of a continuous drug usage that went unnoticed until a major mental breakdown in 2004. She continued to suffer episodes of mental concoctions until she eventually kicked the bucket early this year; 2013.

In between 2004 and 2013, her mum, whose husband died ten years ago, had carried her to almost every psychiatric hospital in the country. She had had to relocate to five cities in search of her when she wanders off on barefoot. She would roam States on barefoot, and her mum will follow suit in search of her only child.

At this stage, I don't think I should be in the way of you and the lyrics of this touching song. #Reflect!

ETHEL SOLENGA BY @SIMPLYONARII

Just a little today

And a little more tomorrow

All but a year to change a girl completely

Just a little today

And a little more tomorrow

All but a year to change a girl completely

Ethel Solenga

We don't know you anymore

You deny you use

Now despise our company

We miss you Ethel

But we can't reach your soul

We don't know you anymore

Yet you deny you use

Now despise our company

We miss you Ethel

But we can't reach your soul

We don't know you anymore

Roll, smoke, snort, cook, pop, inject

Finally it takes your soul

Get help, Ethel

Finally it takes your soul

Get help, Ethel

Finally it takes your soul

Get help, Ethel

Finally it takes your soul

Oooh, redeem your soul

Finally it takes your soul

Don't let it take your soul

No no no don't let it take your soul

Don't let it take your soul

Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't let it take your soul

aayyyee

Don't let it take your soul ooooooo

Don't let it take your soul

Onarii has had talks in over 30 schools in Jos, and has sang them the story of Ethel. It is her dream to sing in ALL secondary, tertiary and higher institutions in Nigeria. So that no one will abuse drugs, or die of its abuse. She sees her music as an instrument to bring about social, political and philosophical change. One that can engineer the world to be a better place.

You can reach Onarii on twitter at @simplyonarii

NOLLYWOOD LESBIANS: I CAUGHT THEM HAVING SEX - BOSE AROWOSEGBE

2013-11-08T14:14:00.001+01:00

In a recent interview with Vanguard, married Yoruba actress Bose Arowosegbe exposed lesbianism in the movie industry by talking about the day two of her female colleagues had sex in a bed she shared with them.Its just like a script from a movie..

"I have heard about it and I have seen one with my own very eyes. It happened when two friends came to visit, then three of us had to share a bed. As we were on the bed with my back turned to the other two, I felt some movements and I turned, alas, the two other girls were at it, doing it. I was simply aghast and dumbfounded. I watched them transfixed for about two minutes and then gave one of them a slap. She looked at me and asked if she had touched me or what. I was so mad that I started shouting at them.
The other one was just laying down while the one I slapped was working on her. she said she didn’t know and thought I was also part of it but I shouted ‘God forbid’. She then started crying and I told her to desist from associating with the other girl again."

I really think she should have given us their names..#justsaying

TO SQUAT OR NOT TO SQUAT

2013-11-08T14:06:00.000+01:00

Its amazing how everyone is suddenly talking about Squats and how they are the key to a beautiful figure. Actually scrap that its not amazing its simply annoying and i'll tell you why. If God chose to give some people amazing figures and the rest, well not so amazing figures, he had a reason, don't argue, don't push it. Squatting is almost like doing cosmetic surgery, don't you think God had his reasons for making your figure straight? Hows Mr. Right gonna find you after all your squats? Hes looking for a girl with a straight body, you're a brand new person aren't you?

The reason i'm hardly ever on instagram is cause of girls like the one pictured above who won't let lazy ladies like yours truly stay focused. Every other second they're posting pictures of their squats-enhanced booties and guess who's seeing them..yup! you guessed right, our husbands, fiance's , and boyfriends. Do they care about our feelings? No. This is why people shouldn't be allowed to do squats! The playing field used to be levelled now every where you turn theres a big booty. Shoot me!

Ladies i've said all this to bring you some not so great news.. If you don't have the God given gift of a big booty,then urmmm...see below!

POWERFUL WOMAN: OMOTOLA JALADE-EKEINDE TO BECOME CHIEF IN ONDO STATE

2013-11-08T13:05:00.000+01:00

In April, Omotola was listed as one of the most influential people in the world by TIME Magazine, named the Queen of Nollywood by UK’s The Sunday Telegraph’s Stella Magazine, and recently awarded the Ebony Vanguard Award at the M Visa Awards in Birmingham.

News reaching us is that the traditional council of the Ondo kingdom has decided to confer the movie star a high-profile chieftaincy title in recognition of her outstanding achievements in the movie industry. She is an indigene of the state. The news got me wondering though? What makes one worthy of a chieftaincy title? Money, fame, outstanding contribution to their native community? I have no idea, who knows?

10 TIPS TO GET RID OF STRETCH MARKS

2013-10-23T22:11:00.002+01:00

Okay let me start by stating quite clearly that i do not have stretch marks, which is very lucky i must say because my body weight is anything but static. It took me a long time to actually figure out what stretch marks really are but after i did i made the annoying discovery that a lot of people who have them make no decent efforts to hide them.I don't know about them oh but personally if i did have (and i feel the need to remind you here that i really do not have stretch marks) stretch marks i would dedicate my time to getting rid of them and if that fails, well at least i'll go to great lengths to ensure that no one ever knows that i have them. So its clear, i'm team #getridofstretchmarksordietrying and in the spirit of my support campaign i bring you ten home remedies for stretch marks after the cut...

Before i start though i think you should know that stretchmarks are often the result of a rapid stretching of the skin associated with rapid growth or rapid weight changes, they may also be hereditary or as a result of stress and other changes in one's physical condition. Over time stretch marks may diminish but they hardly ever fully disappear. The remedies as promised are as follows;

1. Potato Juice

Quite frankly i didn't even know there was any such thing, that said potato juice contains vitamins and mineral that help with the growth and restoration of skin cells. You get the juice by cutting your potato into thick slices after which rub the potato pieces on your stretch marks until all marks have been covered. You leave it to dry then wash off with warm water.

2. Sugar

White sugar, not brown oh! what you do is mix a tablespoon of raw sugar (is there cooked sugar ni?) with some almond oil (dunno where you'll get that one oh, but try Jumia). Mix it well and apply it on the stretch marks. Do this every day for at least ten minutes before having your bath. If you can consistently do this for a month it is believed to lighten the stretchmarks.

3.Aloe Vera

Apply directly , leave for a few minutes then rinse off with warm water, simple.

4. Water

Drink a minimum of 10 glasses daily to keep your body hydrated. Avoid coffee, tea and sodas.

5. Lemon Juice

Rub on affected areas and leave for at least ten minutes then rinse off.

6. Olive Oil

Massage into the affected areas, you can leave this one for about 30 minutes, or even leave it sef, shebi na olive oil.

7. Cocoa butter

apply at least twice a day

8. Castor Oil

You can get this on Jumia, apply it and massage in for about fifteen minutes then apply heat to the area for about thirty minutes, after doing this daily for a month you should see the difference.

9. Egg whites

Clean the area then apply egg whites with a makeup brush, allow to dry then wash off. Do this for at least two weeks.

10. Alfalfa

I have no idea what this is, if you do please enlighten me. Anyway you're supposed to mix the powder with Chamomile oil and apply the mixture to your skin two or 3 times daily.

Like i said at the beginning, i don't have stretch marks, so i cannot guarantee that this tips will work, but i can promise you that every item on this list is great for your skin so there's no harm in trying. If you know any more effective tips, don't be stingy, share!!

10 WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF CONCEIVING TWINS

2013-10-22T11:54:00.001+01:00

I recently got married and as is typical of Nigerian family and friends I've been getting the not so casual ' hope you're making good use of your honeymoon' statements from almost everyone. (Apparently according to scientists the typical honeymoon period lasts exactly: two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage ,so hey give me a break already). As if that's not enough every other day one cutie or the other is welcomed into this world, reminding us that God sent us to go forth and multiply, haha!. In my ~~very humble~~ opinion conception always, always happens at the right time so please get off my back already, haha!

I've always prayed, hoped, dreamed of having twins and my reason is based on simple logic "kill the birds with a single stone". Anyway i've been reading up natural ways to increase one's chances of having twins and i decided to share with you all. Most of these ways are not scientifically proven but rooted more in tradition or personal experience, in fact a lot of them are a bit surprising. Before you continue i must warn you that there are a lot of health risks connected with having twins oh, be sure to read them up before you follow any of the tips below (assuming that they really work). You'll find them after the cut...

1. history with twins

Do twins run in your family? If you have a mother, brother, sister, uncle or long lost cousin with twins , you may wonder if you'll have them too. Sometimes it is hereditary, however only fraternal twins are influenced by heredity and even then, only in some cases. If your mother or maternal grandmother was or had fraternal twins, you might have inherited a gene for hyperovulation, increasing your chances of conceiving twins also.

2. get taller or fatter

An article published by the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology correlates the rise in multiple birth rates with rising rates of obesity. Research found that mothers with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or higher were significantly more likely to have twins. Again, this statistic is only true for fraternal twins. The research also showed that women of above-average height were also more likely to have multiples...The get fatter part? i'll pass

3. Grow Up: Wait Until You're Older

Older mothers are more likely to conceive twins than their younger counterparts simply because it is believed that the body accelerates ovulation as the biological clock starts ticking faster. Almost twenty percent of mothers who give birth over the age of 45 have twins. However, the risks also increase; older mothers have a higher rate of miscarriage and are more likely to experience problems such as gestational diabetes during their pregnancy; in addition, their babies are at higher risk for chromosomal abnormalities.

4. Have twins

Once you have had twins , you are significantly more likely to conceive -- and deliver -- twins again! Some estimates suggest that mothers of twins are four times more likely to have twins again than a woman who has never been pregnant, or who only had a single child.

5. Eat more Yam and Dairy products

No one is quite sure why, but the Yoruba people have the highest rate of twins in the world. A study concluded that the mother's diet was the cause, being high in cassava, a type of yam or sweet potato. The peelings of this vegetable are thought to contain a chemical that causes hyperovulation. In addition, a 2006 study found that women who consume dairy products are five times as likely to have twins.

6. Get Technological Fertility assistance

Reproductive technology has dramatically increased the multiple birth rate. Drugs that stimulate ovulation can lead to a multiple pregnancy, but multiples can also result from in vitro fertilization (IVF). It's not just that multiple embryos are implanted in the mother, but there is also an unexplained increase in the number of monozygotic twins among IVF patients. No ethical doctor would provide treatment if it wasn't warranted, so fertility assistance should only be sought out when necessary.

7. Have A Big Family

The more kids you have, the more likely you are to conceive twins in a subsequent pregnancy. No one knows the magic limit that triggers a twin pregnancy, so you'll just have to keep trying until it happens. Erm, next?

8. Conceive while breastfeeding

Most people think that you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding, that the process of lactating keeps a woman from ovulating. However, plenty of mothers of twins disagree with that idea. Some research has supported the theory that the chance of twins or multiples is increased if a woman conceives while breastfeeding. For example, Dr. Gary Steinman claims that women who become pregnant while breastfeeding are nine times more likely to conceive twins than women who are not breastfeeding at the time of conception.

9. get preggers while on the pill

Birth control pills are usually thought to be 99.9 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. However, that .01 percent might result in double belle. Sometimes pregnancy occurs when the pill isn't taken consistently; in other cases, the hormonal mix of a particular drug type simply doesn't provide enough coverage to completely prevent ovulation. In either case, playing around with hormones can lead to hyperovulation, increasing the chances of multiples.

10. Just Get Lucky!

Many parents of twins don't meet any of the classic criteria, yet find themselves doubly blessed. Monozygotic twins are particularly mysterious; no one is exactly certain what causes an egg to split after conception, producing identical twins. The bottom line is that there truly isn't a whole lot an individual can do to influence their chances of having twins; sometimes you just need to get lucky!

Heading out to buy me some yam and dairy products so just in case you drop by while i'm gone and you have some tips and tricks, drugs, herbs, ~~juju~~ (no be me talk am oh). Don't be stingy, share!!!

THE MARRIED WOMAN'S GUIDE TO KEEPING HER MAN BY STELLA DAMASUS

2013-08-28T23:30:00.001+01:00

I initially didn't want to share this but after sharing Ali Baba's guide and noting how much he referred to hers i have decided to also share it..so yes i know its stale, but i'm posting it for anyone who missed it initially..enjoy and make sure you tell me what you think.. her opinion after the cut..

This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls.
Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don’t care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.
Anyway our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we know it is wrong. The first few years of marriage is filled with sex almost five times a day in different parts of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years we start to back down, we start to make excuses, we start to see it as a chore and then we let them know that we are really not interested in them physically.
Wow, what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married to?
What happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and immediately comply?
What happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready wife who would make him feel wanted?
I know that most of you will say “I have kids who wear me out, I have work that drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a headache” to the point that the man will need to get a visa at your “embassy” to visit his favorite place in the World.
When you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?
How would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the plumber, your child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a hard time?
NOOOOOOO please.
At that point he wants you to take him to that special place were the sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to the point that all you say will sound like sweet music to his ears.
These men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of which you don’t even know because they are trying to save you from all the stress.
What annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag about the men not having time for us, and how they no longer find us attractive anymore and that’s where the suspicion starts. That’s when the saying comes, “if he is not getting it from me someone else must be giving it to him’.
I don’t encourage cheating at all in fact it goes against what the bible teaches no matter what. I will not also judge anyone who has been caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or the other. I believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God with the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.
In all of this I know that all men are not beasts, neither are they evil because we married them. I also know that men do not get married and carry it at the back of their minds that they must cheat.
That’s not how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger things in their brains and these things drive them to do things that they really would not have done.
Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ because they know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can have a brain that will control the whole body. There is always something that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis.
You may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe. Most men we married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but cast your mind back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if there were traces of that character or not.
What men want:

They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
They don’t want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
They like their space and alone time.

They don’t want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after they got married. Why should she try and look the same? She is married now, who else does she have to impress?
WRONG! Men are first of all moved by what they see before anything else. So when they can’t see that anymore or at least an effort to getting back that body that turned them on, they’ll probably lose interest in you and find it someone else.

They don’t want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume.
They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
They don’t want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

There are so many things I can add and you will not stop reading so let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do at least 60 percent of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will cross his path and that is exactly how the enemy works.
When that younger and more energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end. This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home to you will become a chore. These girls can give him all these things and even more that the men find it so difficult to resist.
All the money that was supposed to go to you and your children will find their way to her pocket. They can get anything they want from your man because they know the secret to getting and keeping him.
I know that this article will cause a lot of controversial wahala but it is fine because in life people don’t like to hear the truth. This might also be an opportunity for people to make silly comments but the truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of people who will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.
Ladies on a more serious note, if you are guilty of these crimes and are depriving your husband of what is rightfully his then don’t be shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.
I will let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be on my YouTube channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom you need to keep it together.
Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don’t. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.
Take care of yourselves and remember that I love you all.

what do you think?

10 MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT

2013-08-28T23:11:00.001+01:00

Most couples who are trying to conceive know that their lifestyle choices—diet, health, age, and genetics—will all affect your ability to get pregnant. However, sweeping under the bed (an old wives’ tale) will only banish dust bunnies; it won’t actually discourage your chances of conception.

While we’ve left behind many of the superstitions surrounding fertility and getting pregnancy; there are still multiple myths that many couples buy into (both those trying to get pregnant and those not trying to conceive). more when you continue

1. You Can’t Conceive During Menstruation

It doesn’t matter if you’re Being Intimate during your period to practice “safe sex” or avoid this period because you’re trying to conceive, no one gets a baby-making free pass at any time during a women’s cycle. In reality, there are very few days when you can Be Intimate without worrying about getting pregnant since sperm can live inside a woman’s body for approximately 5 days.

2. Inverted Sex Positions Will Boost Chances of Conception
If you’re doing a handstand after sex in the hopes of gravity aiding your pregnancy efforts—all you’ll probably end up with is a stiff neck. It makes sense that inverting after expulsion might help sperm reach the cervix faster, but this small distance really won’t make or break your chances of conceiving.

3. You Can’t Get Pregnant the First Time you are Intimate
Although this might be a sly way for a frisky teenage boy to convince a girl to Be Intimate in the backseat of his parent’s station wagon; it’s a grand mistruth. If she has begun to ovulate there’s always a chance that her egg and his sperm shall meet, whether it’s the first sexual experience or the twentieth.

4. Being Intimate Like Rabbits Increases Pregnancy Chances
If you’re a couple that likes to Be Intimate like bunnies every day, congratulations, but it won’t help your chances of conception. In fact, the opposite is true—the more frequently a man ejaculates; the lower his sperm count and concentration will be. Your best bet for getting preggers is to make love during a woman’s “fertile period” with the help of an ovulation calendar.

5.You Can’t Get Pregnant if you’re Intoxicated
It doesn’t matter if you drink alcohol or take drugs—you can still get pregnant. And when you think about it; when drunk or high, you’re probably less likely to remember to use a condom or take your birth control pill so you may be increasing your chances of conception when intoxicated.

6. Withdrawal to Prevent a Pregnancy
Many couples trust the withdrawal method (when a man withdraws from a woman’s vagina prior to orgasm) will not cause pregnancy. However, studies show that 4 out of every 100 women will still get pregnant thanks to pre-Erupt (the fluid that escapes the tip of the penis when stimulated), in which sperm can remain active from previous orgasm.

7. Douching or Showering Following Sex Will Prevent Pregnancy
Douching and showering are not effective as birth control and neither is having intercourse in the bath or swimming pool. The truth is that water doesn’t deter sperm from fertilizing an egg, and having intercourse in water can actually raise the risk of pregnancy if sperm is forced upwards into the vagina and cervix.

8. Timing Can Affect the Sex of your Baby
It’s funny that many couples think that they can influence the sex of their unborn child depending on things like diet, sex position, or date. For instance, sex on odd days will ensure a male child and sex on even days will produce a girl baby.

9. Failing to Conceive after a Few Weeks Doesn’t Mean you’re Infertile
Conceiving can take time and patience. Just because you’ve been trying to conceive for a few weeks without success doesn’t mean you’re infertile. Although there are no specific dietary instructions to follow, a healthy lifestyle—which includes physical activity, a healthy diet—is important to make conception a reality.

10. You Can Only Conceive if you orgasm
Even though the female heavenly orgasm can aid fertilization—it’s not entirely essential for conception. The theory behind this myth is that the muscular contractions that accompany the female orgasm are needed to pull sperm up into the vagina and cervix, increasing the success of sperm meeting egg. However, you can get pregnant, with or without achieving orgasm.

source: activebeat.com

BEVERLY OSU (BBA8) : NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND ANGELO

2013-08-28T22:54:00.000+01:00

Beverly was on radio this morning where she spoke about her BBA experience as well as other things. I know you guys have been waiting to hear what she'll say about...never mind.. enjoy the interview after the cut..

How do you feel about Angelo's supposed girlfriend Candice?
I don't want to talk abt his so called gf cos I don't know anything abt her.

Did you have sex with Angelo?
I did not have sex with Angelo. I loved him and I still love him. I would get married to Angelo if I had the chance!

And the bathtub scene...?
I'll still say....Nothing happened between me and Angelo!

Did you use any strategy?
I talk a lot. My strategy was nothing. I just went with the flow...

Your take on Afrocandy’s movie offer ?
Afrocandy nibo? No oooo.....Thanks for the offer but NO!

On her plans for the futureI’ll continue with my online reality show “Beverly Says” and I’ll finish school. That’s what is important now.

goodluck then..

COMEDIAN ALI BABA'S 'HOW TO KEEP YOUR MAN'

2013-08-28T22:39:00.001+01:00

A number of days ago i read a write-up by Stella Damasus on 'how to keep your man' and quite honestly i didn't think much of it. I was going to post it but then i forgot and even when i remebered i decided against it because quite frankly i just didn't think it made a lot of sense (my humble, very humble opinion). Today i stumbled on this one which the comedian posted on his facebook page and thought i might as well share. He referred to Stella's write-up a number of times. i'm going to look for hers and post it too.. but enjoy his own after the cut and tell me what you think

Sometime back, in March, I was advising a babe on how to make a man stay. Some comments posted in reply to my status were that men are only controlled by their third legs, money, yansh, boobs, beauty and ego. I tried to highlight a very serious point that babes were missing.

And that is, EVERYMAN WANTS BETTER. WE DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THE ONE WE LET GO WAS BETTER.

Not too long ago, I read some wild and wide criticism that greeted what Stella Damasus wrote about keeping a man. To some, wrong as they were, Stella had no business telling anyone how to keep a man. I believe she does. I actually think she knows more than she revealed.

Growing up in Ojo Cantonment, my Dad and I were walking back from his friend from a Soldier in the Education Corp of the Nigerian Army, from Gongola state who had been made a Major. Just as we took a turn, from the officers' mess, a naked mad man was running towards us from the opposite direction, shouting Mad Man... Mad man... To my surprise, My Dad, who was a military man, told us to run for cover. So he dragged me behind a kerosine tank, pushed me to the ground and kept looking to see what the mad man was running from. Meanwhile, Some two Fulani men who used to come into the barracks regularly to read palms of anyone who yielded their hands to them, had been walking behind us, before we took cover. They kept walking.

I nearly laughed when I saw them make a Uturn, and took off after the mad man that had run pass us, it now looked like they were chasing the mad man that was shouting "Maaaaaad man!"

On the heels of the Fulani palm readers was another mad man, brandishing a UTC cutlass . Not Machete. Cutlass. The type used in felling trees. That type that reminded one of Prince Nico Nbaga's bell bottom trousers back then. He was swinging the weapon of death as he pursued... It became obvious to us from where we were crouched that the madman had no one in mind as a target. He was after anyone he could lay his eyes on. Because, soon as the Fulani men, vanished at the end of the Block, he gave up on that chase and followed one Man selling Festac 77 sleeveless Adire. Mr Adire seller was actually laughing at the way the Fulani men took to their heels. So, this time I had to laugh when I saw how the amusement on his face changed into fright. He took off and jumped across the gutter by Palmy Bus stop. He continued running even after the machete carrying mad man hand found new targets.

Sorry I digressed. Hope you are still with me.

My Dad later told me a proverb in URHOBO, "AVUE ODIERO, NE EKI VHENRHEE!" Which means you do not need to tell a deaf man that there is chaos and uncontrollable commotion in the market. He can see. That's all he needs.

Back to Stella DAMASUs' write up. We are not all perfect. That said, when a Musician writes a love song, do you stop listening to the love song or letting the lyrics connect to your relationship because the singer has divorced 8 times or has not been able to hold a relationship longer than 3 months? I don't think so. I think STELLA did well. If you like go call police.

Back to the HASHTAG I talked about earlier, #WhatMadeYourGuyLeaveYou.Many ladies missed the point as they always often do. They were talking about how men are polygamous in nature, Cheats, irresponsible, not ready for commitment, gigolos, lack ambition, lack self control, think with their third legs... BLA BLA BLA.

I need to mention at this time, that i was at that time preparing to talk to young ladies who were looking to settle down and finding the right guy. And to tell you the truth, a lot of the ladies missed the whole point by a mile or 2. They need to read STELLA DAMASUS' piece.

It's easy for a lady to say, a guy was not serious that's why the relationship broke up. Or to say, he used her and dumped her for another lady. Fine. That is what they think made the guy leave. But to be honest, was that all there was to it?

I would like you to know that, that is not entirely the truth. A guy would always weigh his options. He would want to know if he is getting the best. Or if he can see the best coming soon.

ABEG OOO

Before a lot of ladies eat me raw, let me explain. I do agree that it's a two way street, but I can only speak for the WAY I HAVE BEEN ON. I AM AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME. I KNOW AND HAVE KNOWN ONLY WOMEN.

Have you as a babe listed some CORE 10 things that you think you have that will make a guy not want to leave you? Do you also have some other unique things that a guy will not get anywhere else? Ok, lets agree he likes your breast, your bum bum and your soft body. What has any of those got to do with respect, the tone with which you talk to him, showing you are happy to be the one he chose, supporting his dreams... Does he like blowjobs? Do you give him same? Does he like talking? Do you listen? Some girls are funny, they will admit to knowing that the other girl bests them in several departments, yet still say, they don't know why he moved on to her. Really???

There several things that makes a man make up his mind that it is you or otherwise. DONT get it twisted... If he finds out that someone has 15 CORE things that you have only 3 of and even the 3 are sometimes canceled out by the bad things like nagging, pride, greed...that have formed your character. Your own don set. You are sitting there comparing yourself to someone who has 13 things, more than you and is willing to tolerate his weaknesses and learn more. Yet you are quick to say, you don't know what he sees in "that girl". Hey girlfriend, your beauty stands no where near the towering personality and good heart "that girl" has. Better recognize.

I know I have stepped on that last nerve you have been tolerating me with. OYA delete me. I even need space to add people who tolerate and think like I do.

I rest my case.

LADIES THIS HAPPENED IN GOMBE STATE: COURT ORDERS MAN TO PAY HIS JILTED LOVER #80,000

2013-08-23T21:48:00.001+01:00

So according to The Leadership paper, an upper area court sitting in gombe made this order. Ladies, do you have something you want the courts to know? Read my bio i'm a lawyer, and no this isn't soliciting (eyes rolling)..

The story when you continue

the Upper Area Court II, Gombe, has ordered David, a 25-year-old, undergraduate to pay the sum of N80,000 to his fiancée, Binta Williams, as part of claims for the ‘damages’ which he inflicted on her within the two years in which they co-habited as lovers.

Williams had accused David as having “camped and used” her for almost two years in his room, while promising to marry her. The accused, confessed that he impregnated Binta twice and aborted the pregnancies, while promising to marry her, but had pled with her that she would have to wait for him to graduate within three years.

Williams revealed to the court that the accused had harassed her and thrown her belongings away, telling her that the “relationship is over,” and that despite all her efforts to resolve issues, he did not want to see her again. Williams also said that she had reported him to the nearest police station for them to be reconciled.

“He used and dumped me, after sleeping with me for quite long; he said he would marry me, but he didn’t. Now, I am claiming damages of humanity,” Wiliams told the court.

Binta prayed the court to make David pay her the sum of N500,000 for the damages, but the judge, Alhaji Salihu Baffa, advisedly ruled that the accused pay her the above mentioned amount.

THE AWFUL TRUTH: MY AFFAIR WITH PASTOR BIODUN FATOYINBO OF COZA BY ESE WALTERS

2013-08-23T20:05:00.001+01:00

DISCLAIMER: The story you are about to read is one that i decided to post because recently we've been sharing a lot on abuse. Abuse may be physical, it may also be psychological and even emotional in this case thats what it is with a little bit of spiritual whining. I do not write this with the intention of defaming Pastor Biodun or by any means to 'touch the lord's annointed'. I'm sharing this because this days we worship our men of God so much that its easy to forget that they are also human and capable of making mistakes. On a final note i can make no claims as to the truth of this confession having only read it myself, however i am willing to err on the part of the powerless victim when it comes to an allegation of this sort.

WARNING!
This article contains stories that most ‘church people’ don’t want to address. So, if you are one of those living in denial and covering up crap going on in the church, this is where you should stop reading. Thanks for stopping by.
**************************************************************************
Now, for the rest of us, please sit down and switch on your open mind. I want to talk about something I have kept bottled up inside for longer than necessary. I have also decided to use real names, as my defense for any accusation of slander is justification. I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. However, feel free to throw your doubt around but know that I am past the shaming game (where victims of abuse are shot down by blame) I am no longer a victim but a survivor who is sharing her experience to help others caught in same web of abuse, guilt and shame. We only get to live once right? So here, it goes…

I recently came to know this event too was abuse (recently here means about 6 months ago). It has literally been eating me up having to drive by another billboard advertising preachers, or hearing his name, or even trying to ask about the validity of the entire salvation story and whether or not there is a God that truly watches over his people. That being said, I’m just going to say it as it is. This is a recap of my affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (Common Wealth Of Zion Assembly) Abuja chapter. This affair I have come to know as a form of abuse as you would see the different elements of abuse very present.

I met Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo many years ago. I was getting bored of the church I was attending and someone suggested COZA. At the time, I had never heard about it. My friend said, go there, I’m sure you would enjoy the word. But he also gave me a strong warning. He said he would advice that I remain a member only and not join the workforce. I agreed. The first time I attended COZA, I felt it was my church and decided I was going to plant my ass there. About eleven months had gone by and I was still attending the services quietly and faithfully. I really did like the church. One day a worker in the church approached me that the senior pastor wanted to see me.

Me? I thought. Why would the senior pastor want to see me? Not the second man but the head nigga in charge? Ok na! I started to think my sin was oozing so bad the pastor could tell I needed Jesus. (Poor old me.) I saw him at the end of the second service (they had two services at the time) and he said to me that he would like me to work with him. I knew I had no intentions of becoming a pastor so I had to ask in what capacity. He said he’d like for me to join a department, preferably the Pastoral Care Unit (PCU).

A few weeks later, against my friend’s advice not to join the workforce, I was a PCU member. All of a sudden, I had some status in church. I was ‘somebody.’ Dress had to be on point, hair, shoes and what not… As workers, we were literally trying to outshine each other or so it seemed. Anyways, I felt like I was a privileged member of an elite circle. Hehehe. (It did feel good though, for the most part.)

About a year after joining the workforce, I was on my way to London for a Masters degree program that would last two years. As was the rule for workers travelling, I wrote to say I would be away for 2 years and Pastor Biodun Fotoyinbo asked that I keep in touch by sending him my number and email when I had settled in London so he “makes sure I continue in the faith” because according to him, people loose their faith when they leave home and he wanted to make sure I didn’t. So, on that note, as soon as I got a phone line in London, I was sure to call ‘my pastor’ to say I arrived safe, had settled in and also gave my phone number.

We had spoken a few times especially when COZA started to stream online. I always watched and would give feedback on quality of production and share a little bit on the challenges I faced settling in a new land. One evening, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo called me that he was coming to London and needed me to help him make some hotel bookings as the person who was meant to do it couldn’t get it done (this was rather strange as I had never been involved in his travel itinerary) Later that day, he said it had been sorted and my help would not be required but that he would like me to arrange a cab to pick him up from Heathrow. I was happy to help my pastor from Nigeria and even saw it as a privilege. (I would later come to learn that all of this was a calculated attempt to hatch a plan that I suspect was set in motion when I was asked to join the workforce.)

The cab guy was there to get him the next day and when he arrived, he called to ask why I didn’t accompany the cab to pick him up (again, this was strange but I stopped my mind from overanalyzing the situation as I knew I had no business with his visit to London) About two hours later, he called me and said he would like to see me. When I arrived his hotel, I called from the reception but he asked that I come upstairs. I got to the room and tried to stop my mind from thinking why I was going to his room. As he opened the door and invited me in, I had to speak to my heart to stop its palpitations. My better judgment asked me not to go into the room but the kind of reverence I had for Pasotr Biodun Fatoyinbo bordered on fear and I steeped into that room.
“Care for a drink?” Asked Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.
“No sir,” I said.
“You don’t have to be shy Ese, even if it’s alcohol, feel free and order what you want.” I wasn’t sure I heard my pastor asking me to order alcohol. I imagined it was a test and ignored the voice inside that was saying, “I’d have henny and coke please.” He proceeded to ask how I had been coping in London and if I was a committed member of any church. He also said he thought there was something special about me and wanted to know that I had not strayed from my faith. I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts. He kept telling me to relax and feel comfortable with talking to him. After a few minutes, he asked that we go to the roof of the hotel as his room was a pent suite and had a connecting door to the roof.

While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom. He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.
A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A sexual affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!

I can hear somebody’s mind thinking, ‘well, you weren’t raped.” And I remember a pastor I opened up to when I couldn’t take all the mind games asking if I seduced him. No, I didn’t seduce him and no, I wasn’t raped but I felt trapped in this affair. Come to think of it, how could I have seduced him when I wanted nothing from him? I mean, I was too busy minding my business in London trying to get through with my masters program and I was overly comfortable. And even if I wanted to seduce anyone, it wouldn’t be a married man, not to mention a married pastor.
What I couldn’t reconcile the whole time, was how the same person who preached against the very things we were doing (i.e drinking in pubs, fornicating, committing adultery) was the same person endorsing and encouraging it.

At some point, I got really confused about what Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I were doing that I had to ask how he handles it. I will never forget what he said to me. He said and I quote, “I will teach you a level of grace that you don’t understand.” My mind couldn’t fathom that somehow grace was enough covering for not just fornication on my path, adultery on his path and the many lies that was bound to follow what we were doing that was clearly abominable. I somehow dealt with the thoughts and fears that followed on my path. He had said to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he would take me around the world and spoil me with money and things. Somehow, money had never been one of the things that motivated me (I am from a home where all my needs have been adequately met) In all my ‘badness’ through finding myself, I never did things I did for money but more of rebellion against rules and authority.

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo also said to me that he had a dream where I exposed what was happening to the media. Said it was all over the place and that people were calling me the girl that caused chaos in COZA. He also said I should remember the bible said to “touch not God’s anointed.” I immediately started to rebuke the devil and said I could never do anything like that. I was almost swearing with my entire family as I thought really I had touched God’s anointed by submitting my body to be used. Little did I know at the time that all of these were ways to mess with my mind and even manipulate my thoughts.

Fast-forward a few months later, I was back in Nigeria and my church had become uncomfortable. Anytime I sat in church and listened to Pastor Biodun preach, I felt shame. I finally sent him a message saying I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I was confused and needed to talk about what had happened. He said I should meet him to talk and I did. It was a really weird meeting for me especially when he tried to kiss me at our meeting. I finally realized at this point that he couldn’t help me. I thought God was angry with me and I couldn’t pray so I decided to withdraw completely from COZA. This was the beginning of my mental torture. I couldn’t talk to my family because already, I was the only one attending a different church and somehow my mom never liked the idea. As the days went by I tried to use drinking and smoking to cover up the deep shame and guilt I was battling with. But as soon as the high was over, the thoughts came back and I felt stuck like I couldn’t move forward.

I felt I had to talk to someone and I decided to speak to my then good friend, Ernest Akale but unfortunately for me, Mr. Ernest did not have the capacity to hold what I said to him. He broke down completely the days that followed and I found myself having to pause how I was feeling and what I was struggling with to help my friend be strong. After a while, he withdrew from not just me but his then fiancé and friends. I had to then tell the fiancé what had caused it (she suspected we were having an affair so I had to clear the air) To my surprise she was a lot stronger than her man and told me to suck it up (I’m paraphrasing). She said if she were me, she wouldn’t leave the church but stay to torment Pastor Biodun and collect money from him. Ok! That sounded extreme for me, as my intention was not to blackmail but to heal my broken self. Anyways, I finally found the courage to speak to my then unit head who said he was going to talk to Pastor Biodun but didn’t have the liver to do so. Before long, the story was spreading and naturally getting twisted.
I went to a new church and it seemed like the COZA bug had chased me there. The pastor would always refer to COZA as some example and each time that was done, it seemed like a spear was thrust through my chest. One day, I broke down in the service and started crying uncontrollably, as I couldn’t take another mention of COZA and the pictures it painted in my head.

Very long, boring story cut short, for the last 5 months I gave the whole church thing a big space and break. I wasn’t sure I believed in God. I wasn’t sure I understood what it meant when people said ‘Jesus saves” and I definitely wasn’t sure how to deal with the mental torture that was affecting not just me but my relationships with family and friends. I was very unstable, fearful and worst of all guilty. I got a chance to talk to Pastor Folarin of COZA Lagos Chapter, popularly called Pastor flo about everything. I made an effort to reach out to him because I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me. Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok. He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws. I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church. Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.) All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors. I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right. I wanted to talk to Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo maybe for closure and I felt like I needed an apology because he played the “touch not my anointed” card to keep me locked in guilt, shame and fear when all along it was a calculated plan and I dare say, it started when he asked me to join the workforce.

Not to mention the audacity to talk about teaching me a level of grace I didn’t understand. I had no intention of understanding a grace that would permit me to go on doing things that were wrong and what’s worse having to carry the burden for almost a year.

Different surprising advises came up in the weeks that followed the rumour making rounds. I was told to hush because Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo had been a cultist in the past and could send people to shut me up. All my so-called friends in COZA withdrew from me and treated me like I had the plague. What was worse was Pastor Flo finally saw my then pastor to ‘talk’ about what had happened with Pastor Biodun and lied that it happened once and was a mistake. My question then became, ‘do these people even care how broken I had become?’ ’do they care about the emotional and spiritual welfare of the people they were pastoring?’ The sad answer was NO. Most of us old members of COZA kept leaving but they couldn’t care less. What was important was to keep growing the church and having more and more cars with stickers that read “More than enough.” Back then, I always felt horrible when I saw another car drive past me with the sticker. I was breaking, I was struggling but no one could help. All they could do was ask me to hide so Pastor Biodun’s goons don’t hurt me. And then the interesting one was if I had evidence to prove my claim. Let me just say here that, it isn’t a claim, it’s a confession to free me from all of the guilt and shame I have had to live with for no reason at all. (That being said, I have evidence to prove all I have said here, the latest being a 58 minutes recording of my meeting with Pastor Flo a few months back)

This is my confession and I cannot begin to describe how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders just pouring the truth out about what went down. So, to all my ex COZA friends gossiping about me, get your facts right. To those who said they’d help me deal with the pain but didn’t, I forgive you, I have learnt how to deal with it and I am doing just fine. To those who fear for my safety saying Pastor Biodun would send people to shut me up, I really have gone past fearing for my life. To live is gain and to die is Christ (or how does Paul say it again?) And to the only person who ever supported me through it all, thank you, I am learning to be brave. Please don’t think I am perfect in all of this but in line with living my authentic life and putting all forms of abuse behind me, this is where I press the stop button and stop the bleeding. This is where I break the silence and call the church to stand up for what it has been commissioned to do. If you will not enter the Kingdom, please don’t stop others who are trying to enter.

I still remember when I used to nurse the idea of digging up emails, text messages, hotel billings (as once I used my card to pay for his room when his master card failed to work) to prove there was an affair. It was pathetic. Why for the love of heaven was I trying to dig up evidence? I am satisfied setting the record straight. I am ready for any shaming or bashing that would follow because the truth is, because of what I have suffered and come through, I am really not moved by what people say or think about me anymore. I am a stronger woman and a damn abuse survivor seeking to connect with other victims of abuse to show them how to deal with the shame, hurt and guilt and how to come out stronger. Turning their mess into their message.

I am Ese Walter and I have gone through all forms of abuse from family, boyfriends, my ex pastor and some strangers not to break me, but so I stand and so I qualify to help victims. My scars have qualified me and when all is said and done, I will still be standing. I AM WOMAN, I BEND, I DON’T BREAK!
Cheers to the freaking weekend!!!

FRIDAY RANTS : WORLD WAR FLAT STOMACH

2013-08-22T23:42:00.003+01:00

It is time to put pen to paper my fellow girls or since I love to come up with my own whimsical phrases I will say fingers to key board. I have always busied my self with the notion that when i become famous for all my amazing achievements among all the questions i would be asked they would ask.

‘what will you not be caught dead wearing?’

And I would say tight clothes.

I can almost hear my self in the gym, pushing myself, enduring, telling myself I can do it at all costs and I get up from the exerball dizzy like I just got off a roller coaster.

Oh yes I love short fitted gowns, never mind the charade I am putting up about tight clothes, if I had the body for them I would wear them throughout my life, in fact twenty four seven. I just make these choices and statements to justify my situation. Although now that I am still pushing myself everyday I respect my self and wear all the large shirts uncles and aunties buy at the airport when they come back from their summer holidays.Yoruba girls, no stereotype, ok girls in general, round neck shirts and tight jeans(jeggings), that trend never made me happy and then colour blocking, no way

As a woman the key to a tight short gown is not even the legs anymore. Joan Rivers would forgive you as long as you shave them and have nice shoes on. So I don’t worry about my K legs. To be honest I am proud of them, all I keep in my mind when I want to cause some show stopping effect is

‘put one foot in front of the next, yes one by one, there you go girl’

And that’s it, all the encouragement I need, courtesy me. The key sexy women is a flat stomach, yes it accentuates your curves brings out the contours, makes you look sexy. So yes that’s why I run to the gym every morning.

‘are you pregnant?’
Tolu would ask me every time we decided to hang out. I stopped answering at some point, until I started wondering do i actually look pregnant? I cant be like Kim k or Beyonce I don’t have the money to keep up, besides I don’t have fans. In short I don’t want to be like either of them. By the way my current display picture is of Beyonce in a tight hug with Jay-z.

‘its just because you are friendly and sweet and we take turns in paying for the drinks that’s why we are still friends ,I hate girls with bulging stomachs’

Tolu is so mean but he speaks the truth, I am very defensive.

‘I do not wear tight clothes I respect my body’ how will any one ever figure out my stomach is big or bulging.

‘that’s why you are still single my dear and you should start wearing your size more often, you are very curvy just get rid of that thing’

His facial expression like I was carrying his unwanted baby, these men they want a Chopped champion in their kitchen a Kim k in their beds, a Michelle Obama for outings and so on, in short they want everything. Yet most of us have decided to just settle for fat bank accounts on their side of the bargain, and its still a constant struggle.
Everybody, even the obese girls were thrilled to tell Beyonce and the rest that Adele dint take off any clothes to win her Grammys. Oh well does she have the body? The flat stomach? Please do not get me wrong those are not criteria’s in any way.
The simple truth is if you have something especially when its God given, no one will tell you to flaunt it.

Dear guys, I know the feeling, you marry a sexy skinny woman today tomorrow the two of you are both pregnant. Yes oh, we also like the abs the six packs, the biceps. Hit the gym every once in a while run a mile or two, we had to get pregnant, you did not have to, so encourage us. put that fire under our buttocks. it is really a team effort.

I so can not wait to see Tolu in the next ten years. He has put all the fire under my buttocks and left none for himself.lol

WHERE ARE YOU?

2013-08-22T23:40:00.001+01:00

11:15 pm.

My alarm goes off. I am awake making several attempts to reach for my blackberry phone and scroll the track pad all the way to the snooze icon. Giving up the struggle because I can barely see where my hand is going. Its not like I have forgotten that there is some one next to me, but the realisation hits me as soon as our hands touch.

“Who the hell is calling you at this time of the night, trying to disturb my peace.”

No, I am not married, I am not even engaged. our parents are not even aware that such a relationship exists, well my girl friends are aware, they have all the free food and drinks to show for it, i am not even twenty yet. I am seventeen.

That’s my boyfriend.

"who is calling you at this time?”
‘
its not a phone call its my alarm I need to study for a test’

“it had better be oh ,because I will look into this tomorrow morning”. He mumbles his way back into his deep sleep and of course continues his loud snoring.

I ask my self this question from time to time, ‘do you know how much better you can do for yourself? where are you?’ but still day after day i never come up with any replies. I tell myself its rhetorical and I do not need to bother myself with such trivial issues.

I am after-all in love.
…

11:25 pm

My alarm automatically goes off again and before I can reach for my blackberry phone there’s a slap on my back. The air conditioner is on but the heat of the slap doesn’t go so well with my soft skin.

‘oh buge please I promise its my alarm look at it, see, its not a phone call, no one is calling me, please buge buge, oshiobuge please’ I cant even hear myself anymore its just slaps and blows am getting from all angles. My alarm is still blaring and the air conditioner is on full blast, stylishly burying my yelling and screaming.

…

7:30am

Oh yes my alarm, goes off again with the caption ‘WAKE UP’ I open my eyes but its still very dark. I am wrapped up in the duvet on the floor. I can hear footsteps.

‘What time is your test going to hold?’

Attempting to give Houdini a run for his fame, i struggle and finally get up. I dump the duvet on the floor, pick up my jeans and shirt, I pack my hair while I brush my teeth with the help of my tongue. I wear my wrist watch and actually sprint to the door. I am extremely late. There are bruises all over my neck but I absolutely have to get to class. I missed the first test, the test scheduled for this morning is a make-up test, the only make-up test.

‘I will drop you give me a second’

I stop and turn around as the tears well up in my eyes. I cant even describe how i feel. it just hurts all over physically and mentally. I keep standing there trying so hard to make the words come out of my mouth, the words required to politely refuse his ‘kind gesture’.

‘baby am sorry I was really stressed last night I just wanted to sleep in peace’ I am sorry?’
He starts touching me, then he starts kissing me, he wipes my tears before they reach my cheekbone on my left cheek.

‘baby I don’t want to ever see you cry, I promise i’m going to make it up to you. I promise’
There’s this tiny hole in the middle of my chest, i can feel it, he can’t see it. its a void, but the minute I start to kiss back it starts filling up, he kisses my neck unties my hair, grabs my ass, unbuttons my jeans.
…
5:30 pm ‘MALARIA DRUGS& IBRUPROFEN’

My alarm goes off again.

‘Do you really have to set an alarm for everything you do in your life? use your brain sometimes.’

I’m naked on the bed, i’ve been in this same position since my back touched the bed at about 8am, i am stoned. I don’t even try to reach for my blackberry phone this time. I just let it ring out. He is naked also. He passes me a blunt,

‘finish this one I will roll another one’
He gets off the bed grabs my phone to probably snooze the alarm or better still dismiss it.

‘hahahaha you are on malaria drugs?.thought you were off that,you should add postinor to that reminder.’ And you should call your friends or an efficient classmate to find out if the test held’

My blackberry phone lands with a thud on my forehead barely scraping my nose. Daniela’s number is switched off. Kayode picks up,

‘Oga efficient’ I hail him lazily, ‘please did that mr salau’s make up test hold today?

‘yes it did…’

‘where were you?’

WEIGHT WATCHERS: THE GENERAL MOTORS 7-DAY DIET PLAN

2013-08-20T02:48:00.000+01:00

I'm officially on yet another diet( just realised i havent even mentioned being on any diet prior to this moment, oh well), as a matter of fact i've made up my mind to keep trying until i get it right ie get to my desired weight goal. Days ago my good friend Mary Anyankpele pinged to tell me she's going on a diet and i should join her (to show you how much my weight problem has been judicially noticed, haha! just kidding oh). Anyway i thought i should share and get as many people as are willing to try it join us and lets see how much weight we can lose.

Disclaimer: If it doesn't work for you don't attack me oh! i'm sharing it and i started today, maybe its hunger thats even keeping me up till this time..sigh..enjoy

GM ( General Motor's ) Diet is a well known diet program designed to detoxify body & also for weight reduction. GM Diet is a 7 days diet program & it should be followed once in a month or in two months. GM diet is very effective if it is followed sincerely than the individual can loose up to 2-3 Kgs in a week. However after following GM diet one must take care of the diet because the person can regain weight within 2-3 days. However obese individuals who are suffering from Diabetes, hypertension or other heart problems should not go for GM Diet. I've heard that the program was developed in conjunction with a grant from U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration. It was field tested at the Johns Hopkins Research Centre and was approved for distribution by the Board of Directors, General Motors Corp. at a general meeting on August 15, 1985. The effectiveness of this seven day plan is that the foods eaten burn more calories than they give to the body in caloric value. The diet proper is as follows:

Day 1 is an all fruit day except for banana. Water-based fruits like watermelon & cantaloupes are better. You are preparing your system for the upcoming programme. Your only source of nutrition is fresh or canned fruits. Fruits are nature's perfect food.
Note: drink lots and lots of water , and nothing but fruit (it was on this day that i asked whether corn was a fruit or vegetable and some people told me its a vitamin. You know yourselves!)

Day 2 is all vegetable day, boiled or cooked. Have one boiled potato for breakfast. This day starts with a fix of complex carbohydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of the day eat vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.

Day 3 you can have a mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today. This day eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. Your system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.

Day 4 is for Bananas & Milk. Eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. Bananas are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days.

Day 5 you start eating some food. Eat a bowl of brown rice and have beef/chicken (for vegeterians: Rajama/beans, chhole/chikpeas, paneer/cottage-cheese or Soya nuggets) combined with 6 tomatoes (must eat). The beef/chicken is for iron and proteins, the tomatoes are for digestion and fibre. Increase intake of water to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.

Day 6 is similar to Day 5 diet except the 6 tomatoes. You can add raw/cooked vegetables too to your diet today. Iron and proteins from beef/chicken, Vitamins and fibre from vegetables. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination.

Day 7 will consist of food similar to Day 6and also fresh/real fruit juice. You have your system under control and it should thank you for the flushing and cleaning you just gave it.

G.M.'S Wonder Soup
The following soup is intended as a supplement to your diet. This recipe is not inflexible, you may substitute vegetables according to your taste. It can be eaten any time of the day in virtually unlimited quantities. You are encouraged to consume large quantities of this soup.

28 oz, Water, 6 Large Onions, 2 Green Peppers, Whole Tomatoes (fresh or canned), 1 Head Cabbage, 1 Bunch Celery, 4 Envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Herbs and Flavouring as desired.
Beverages you may consume while on the program :
Water (flavoured with lemon/lime if desired).
Club Soda is OK.
Black Coffee. No cream or cream substitute. No sugar or sweetness.
Black Tea = Herb or Leaf.
Absolutely nothing else except the fruit juices which are part of day seven. No fruit juices before day seven. Avoid any oil & sweets. During the first seven days you must abstain from all alcohol & smoking. You must drink 10 glasses of water each day. Try to honestly stick to the plan.
Taking care of your weight & health is very important at any age. Excess weight is the most critical factor in keeping good health and excess weight is responsible for the most problems including coronary diseases, heart problems, arthritis and cancer among other serious life threatening diseases (that should be scary enough). Most serious health problems can be avoided by the single function of maintaining an ideal weight. Excess weight for women aggravates arthritis problems and leads to rapid joint decay (& excess weight doesn't looks good too, to most of us). Pain and joint deterioration can be lessened by weight loss as weight loss removes the stress on the knee joint (now I feel like a doctor, yay!!). Some common tips in general for weight loss & good health:

Drink warm water in place of usual/cold water.
Avoid oil/oily food, excess fat & sweet as much as possible. You may start having fat-free & sugar-free food & stuff, it actually makes a difference.
Mild exercise of 30-60 minutes, 4-5 times a week is also essential. Do not tire yourself out, but being regular in your exercise and maintaining an ideal weight goes a long way in ensuring a happy, healthy and long life.

If you wanna join Mary and i on this diet, just leave a comment with your starting weight and also let us know how it goes day by day till you get your end weight.

Day one just ended and i was faithful, so help me God

HILARIOUS: ADVICE ON FOREIGN BLOGS VS. ADVICE ON NIGERIAN BLOGS

2013-08-20T01:53:00.000+01:00

So i stumbled on this write-up and thought i should share.. i find it so hilarious..enjoy

FOREIGN PAGE

Hello, My name is Sandra Stone, I'm from UK, I love my husband so much and I do anything to please him in bed..I go down on him but he has refused to reciprocate...please advice me how to tell him to go down on me cos i really want him that way.

COMMENTS:
John Silva: I think u need to talk to him, marriage is communication

Kerry Water: Oh my dear, sorry about that, i have been in your shoes before..i told him right away and he is an expert in it

Michael Paper: i get down with my wife, its cool I love doing it..u should talk to your husband

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

NIGERIAN PAGE
My name is Aminat, I stay In Abuja, married with a kid, my husband have refused to go down on me, what should I do...No insults abeg

COMMENTS:
Sule: First to comment, Space Booked!

Dayo Muyiwa: Fool, s.3.x na food?

Nkiru Joy: You are a disgrace to womanhood..SHAME on you.

Idris Kunle: Any news about ASUU Strike?

Toheeb Sule: If you want i go down on you, call my num. 070012345677878

Funmi: I no blame u at all, better go find something to do with ur life. suck kor, soak-away ni

Richard: Abeg who get bb charger?

Amaka: U be ashewo!! U need deliverance

Lynda: Sign of Endtime, Anti Christ among us, Please repent

Taofeek: Thunder fire u!! You a disgrace to womanhood!!

lmao!!

PROPOSAL 101: HOW I PROPOSED TO MY WIFE BY ADEWALE ORESHADE

2013-08-20T00:05:00.000+01:00

Adewale Oreshade is a lawyer and a poet, he studied at the University Of Lagos where as you already know yours truly also studied. He is someone i have interacted with a number of times and admire both for his musical voice and his ability to do big things. For example in 2012 he published a collection called Poetry of Love on his fiance's birthday, a collection of romantic poems he'd written for her over a period of about 2 years while they courted. They've now been married 10months and counting, and on this second birthday since they got engaged, he shares their proposal story. I couldn't help but share it when i stumbled on it tonight ,enjoy...

So folks, there's this story I haven't written about. Perhaps, because we love to tell the story in person. It's the story of how My wife and I got engaged. Now sit, switch on that soft blues you love to listen to, and follow the ups and downs of this story.

This is how it all began. Way back in December 2011, just weeks before the engagement date, I got a friend in the UK to help in shopping for an awesome diamond engagement ring. With the aid of blackberry messenger; I was able to make the right choice. Even though - coughs- it did cost a thousand pounds of my widow's mite at the time. That said, the next phase was how the engagement itself will go.

Engagement to me is something special. The fact that it will only happen once in one's life made me think deeper on how best to make it special. I want to create a story my children will be able to tell their friends on how their mother got engaged. A story that will last for generations. I have heard of people putting rings in their spouse's food, people proposing in a place as weird as the toilet and all. Lol. I'm not about to make this a bad story, so I thought of how best to make it romantic, and the best I could come up with at the time was to propose to her at a dinner. What form it will take is what you are about to find out.
It was one solemn sunday that it all started taking form in my mind, so I buzzed a musician-friend whose stage name is Aduke. We settled on Beautiful Nubia's WhatA Feeling. She also agreed to bring along a violinist alongside her guitar and her voice. At this point, Four Point by Sheraton at Lekki was still the venue. By the way, the day for the engagement was on the first of January, 2012. Yeah, that day that the fuel scarcity began. The whole fuel scarcity Palava. We will get to how that was about to spoil my day. Lol.

So ring is ready. Musician is ready. Venue is ready. The next thing that had to exist was the backstage crew. so I thought to myself, who are those that can help me at the background, to make sure everything turns out great. I settled on two great and trusted friends since my undergraduate days - Wura Soji-George and Chidinma Nlemigbo. They were to help amongst other things with bringing the ring to the venue, getting the artistes to come in at the right time, and also taking pictures of the whole drama that will ensue during and after the engagement. Lol.

Sha, the next ultimate thing was to get her to Nigeria for the engagement proper without her knowing what was about to hit her. She was abroad at the time. She had always said that I lack the ability to surprise. That I am as open as a book. Okay o, Hayaf hear. As if me coming to meet her at the airport with red rose flowers and kneeling down to present them to her while the whole airport crowd were blushing was something she could have thought I would do. If she thinks that was predictable, well, this won't be.

So that I won't give up the secret, I decided I will propose to her the day she lands gon gon. Which was the first of January, 2012. Except from the fact that, it's an excellent way to start the year, my own hidden agenda about that day, was so that I will never miss our anniversaries. Yes o, with the first of the month, one can never go wrong. That's Engagement Date 101 tip.

Early that morning, I drove to the airport, picked her up, and dropped her at her sister's house at Magodo. After having dropped her, I spoke to her sister and her sister's husband about taking her out for dinner that evening. And the only reservation they had was the venue. That Four Points by Sheraton, Lekki was too far away from Magodo. That why don't I do the dinner at Sheraton which is close by. I agreed to Sheraton immediately before more reservations erupt.

But in my mind while I was driving back to the Island, I was thinking of the calls to make to everyone concerned. I called my friends and made them know of the change in plans. Sheraton Hotel at Ikeja is the new location. They agreed immediately. How best can one be blessed.

To make the day special and yet not revealing an agenda, I had to wear something simple and also special. Well, that was easy for me. I love sweatshirts, and she had gotten me one in the past. So as the time drew near, I put on my jeans, nice sneakers, white round neck shirt and my grey v-neck sweatshirt did justice to my simple but special look.

As I drove to Magodo to pick her up, I saw that my petrol was almost down. For a jeep, one should really get fuel into the tank at that point. But the thought of what I was going to do, stole my attention. So I thought I will buy it while we head home after I would have proposed. I got to her Magodo residence and she was all dressed up. Her navy blue dress was exquisite, I would have thought she knew what was going to happen. And she had an excellent shoe to match. Her beauty that day was extraordinary as usual. With little or no make up, she was looking like she had a million dollars on. I walked her into the car, and the journey started.

As we drove down, I kept receiving calls from my surprise crew, and I kept talking in confident gibberishness. Lol. As we got to Sheraton, they said their buffet won't start until 7pm. That gave me 15 minutes at most to meet with my crew, and iron things out. I wanted them to come in at 7:15pm. So as we got in, I made her sit, and I told her that I wanted to get someone to get me petrol from one of the petrol stations around. Which was true. That's how I used one stone to kill two birds. Even though the guy couldn't get the fuel.

When the dinner started, we went down the aisles of food, and truth be told, I just full. Food no gri me chop. As in, if not for the air conditioner in there, I would probably be drenched in sweat. Lol. She asked why I don't want to eat, after all, I was the one that called for a dinner. In my mind, I'm just like - she can't understand what's about to happen. So I had to get something. Very much unlike me, I served myself something very small. Me? Small food at buffet? Meeeehn, this will never happen again. As we ate, when it was 7:10, I left for the 'toilet'. I checked on my background crew and everything was still on check. I went back to the table, and we continued to eat and chat. She was eating fine, but I was eating in slow motion.

Memories of how we met. Her virtues. Her softness. Her care. Her beauty. Her love, and everything about her just kept my head busy as I awaited the arrival of my surprise crew. 7:15pm came and went by. They didn't walk in. I was subtly worried, but then I took my mind off it. So much so that when they came in, I was also surprised. Yop, I was. I kept looking into her beautiful eyes, and thinking of our future and what it held for us. Her kindness, and how our children will have the best mother in the world. In fact, to grasp how I felt about my wife at that time, you will have to read the book I published about her, which I dedicated to her. Interestingly, I published it this day last year. It's titled Poetry of Love. It's a compilation of all the poems I ever wrote to her. *winks* That book is a year old today.

Back to Sheraton, Aduke was the first to come in. Her guitar wrapped across her neck. She was wearing a yellow shirt. She had played Beautiful Nubia's What A Feeling for about 15 seconds with the accompanied violinist before she even turned to us. When we tell people this story, my wife takes over at this point, and tells the story to the end. But as it is now, I will have to try to tell it as she would. She said when she saw them, she thought they came to raise funds for someone that was ill. And she was reaching for her purse to get them something when they walked to us. She also said as she saw me stand, and reach for my back pocket where I planned that Wura will pass me the ring; she thought I was reaching for my wallet to give them money. Money kor, money ni. I collected the ring as Usain Bolt would collect baton from Yohan Blake. And went straight on one knee. And I asked her if she will marry me, with the ring unveiled. There were like 100 different emotions on her face. Lol. I got her! she was surprised. She said YES, we hugged, kissed, and snapped pictures; whilst Aduke and her violinist friend kept singing

To our surprise, the entire crowd in Sheraton including their staffs stood up, clapped for us, and also took pictures of us. We were even offered a free buffet for sometime in future. We were celebrities for that night. My background crew took a bow and left. I am forever grateful to them. So we sat and continued to eat. Now, I was the one eating well, and she was the one eating in slow motion. Lol. In fact, she couldn't eat again. Hahahaha. At this stage, leaving was the only option we had, so we made sure everyone wasn't looking. We stood, and left for the car park, where I was stunned with her own surprise. She had gotten me a Blackberry Playbook, and an Android phone. Jeeeez, just when I thought I was winning at the surprise game. Ggggrrrhhhh!

Today is my lovely wife's birthday, and she's still that super wonderful young lady I engaged one year, seven months and sixteen days ago. In fact, she has refused to literally take off her ring, whether during her sleep or bathing time. A fit I haven't been able to achieve. Lol. Happy Birthday Love. I wish you long life and prosperity. Amin. I will always love you. Muah! My own one and only Dr. Mrs. Oreoluwa Oreshade -Mph.

Very sweet, Guys take note, #thatisall

CRAZY,SPIRITUAL AND HORNY CALLERS: MY TYPICAL DAY AS A TELECOMMS CUSTOMER CARE AGENT

2013-08-13T22:17:00.002+01:00

So i read this funny story about Customer care agents and the kind of calls they receive and i couldn't help bursting out with laughter. I remember one occassion when i was so pissed at my network provider that after insulting the agent as much as i could and ending the call, he called me privately and explained rather calmly that my insults infuriated him so much that he might have insulted me and lost his job.

On behalf of everyone who has insulted an agent one time or another i offer my sincere apologies. Sometimes though you may have called calmly but the agents would just annoy you with ignorance (Lord forgive me, olodos are everywhere).I felt bad after reading this though, but its rather funny..enjoy after the cut

“Good morning. Welcome to to Prytel Wireless. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may I help you?....”

Yes, this is me, back at my job at 2:30 am, a time other normal people would be asleep. Honestly, I must admit that if, say, my father were Bill Gates, meaning I wouldn’t have to work a day in my life (C’mon, seriously, how many of us would bother working if our father was the richest man in the world?), I would probably be awake at this time of the day, making sure that all the clubs in Lagos knew my father has plenty, plenty money. And more money than that. Unfortunately, my father chose instead to be a university professor driving a beat up Peugeot 504 that looks older than even him (and my father is OLD!!!) instead of the owner of a globally renown technological giant so I have to work. I’m awake nevertheless; though I’m doing less dancing and more of wishing certain people would just go to bed instead of calling in to report the most ridiculous problems.

Seriously, I’m sure I had planned my life better than this. I planned that by 24, I would be working at one of the top oil companies in Nigeria having secured a first class or second class upper in Petroleum Engineering, earning a six figure income (okay, in retrospect, that might have been a tiny bit ambitious) and have started putting up a building somewhere on Banana Island. Fast forward six years since I left university. I ended up studying Soil Science (thanks to UTME, Post UTME and one fraudulent lecturer that promised to get me admission to study Petroleum Engineering), graduated with a second class lower (well, someone had to attend all those parties!) and ended up with a job as a call center agent at Prytel Wireless. I turned 27 two weeks ago. Hurrah me.

The call center job really wouldn’t have been so bad if I a) didn’t have the job in the first place, b) was actually working at an oil company and earning a six figure salary, c) was earning enough to start putting up a building somewhere on Banana Island and d) didn’t have to respond to the most ridiculous and outrageous complaints from the most ridiculous and outrageous people. In the course of my one year and six months on this job, I have heard complaints that range from eye rolling to straight out cringe inducing. The very first call I received after resuming the job full time post-training went like this;

ME: Good Morning and welcome to Prytel Nigeria. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may….]

Customer: YOU BASTARD! ALL OF YOU ARE BASTARDS!!! ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO DO IS ROB PEOPLE BLIND!!! MY GOD WILL PICK OUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND PUNISH YOU ACCORDINGLY…

ME (Trying to remember the procedure we were taught in training for dealing with customers like this because, quite frankly, I was blown completely away by this raging, cursing person): Er…..sir…..madam (the voice was high pitched and there was no way of knowing if I was talking to a man or a woman or a hermaphrodite)… sorry for the incon…

Customer: SHUT UP!!! WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHILE I’M TALKING?!! I SAY SHUT UP OR MY GOD WILL SLAP THE LIPS OFF YOUR FACE!!!

I certainly didn’t want my lips slapped off my face so I piped down for a second to allow the customer exhaust his/her/its steam and actually state a complaint.

Customer: DON’T’T WORRY!!! (By this time I was way beyond being worried and crossing over into terrified territory). YOU WILL SEE (I didn’t want “see” what he/she/it was promising). YOU ARMED ROBBERS WILL SEE. CONTINUE STEALING MY MONEY. MY GOD WILLL DEAL WITH ALL OF YOU ONE BY ONE!!! Click. The line went dead. Not a single complaint stated. If bewilderment could be measured on a scale, mine would rip the charts. My supervisor was apparently listening in on the call and as soon as the call was dropped, burst out laughing. I wasn’t finding it very funny.

A week after that, I was on night duty when I a customer called in to report a complaint. I said a short prayer before picking it because I had resumed work in a very bad mood and was wary that in my current mood, I might tell a subscriber to go screw themselves and kiss my posterior end while they’re at it (pardon my French!). That call went like this:

Me: Good morning. Welcome to Prytel Wireless. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may I help you?

Subscriber: *loud music and quite a bit of suspicious moaning, then a barely audible voice saying something I could barely pick out*

Me: There seems to be a lot of noise where you are. Could you kindly move to a place where there is less noise? Thank you.

Subscriber: *music suddenly drops and a male voice comes clearly through* Sorry. I was banging my girlfriend.

Me (Wowed by this totally unwarranted information): Good morning. Welcome to to Prytel Nigeria. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may I help you?

Subscriber: Do you have a girlfriend?

Me (quite close to the end of my tether): Please may I know your name and how I may help you?

Subscriber: Do you bang her?

Me (stopped from telling him to go bang a transformer by the thought that it might lose me this job. Which I still need. Till the six figure job comes along): Please if there is nothing you would like to report, I might have to end this call.

Subscriber: Talk to my girlfriend *female voice comes through, giggling* hello

Me: *Muttering obscenities in my head while saying through clenched teeth that, if unclenched, might insult the subscriber’s parentage) Thank you for choosing Prytel Wireless (He’d better chosen another network by daybreak). DO have a wonderful day.

And there was that call while the SSCE exams were being conducted earlier this year. I picked a call to hear a voice whisper:

Subscriber: Please can you tell me the formula for calculating the volume of a cylinder?

Me (thrown by this question from nowhere to the point that I broke protocol): What?

Subscriber: I’m writing my maths paper and I don’t know how to calculate the volume of a cylinder. Please what is the…. (then from the background I heard a voice yelling: “Hey!!! You!!! Bring that phone!!! Bring it!!!) *line went dead*.

So that has been my professional life so far. I have received a call from a man asking if I would like to buy a cow, a woman who wanted advice on how to please her husband, too many calls from secondary school students (and even older, older people) begging me to give them credit “just for flashing” and one particularly disturbing call from a subscriber asking me to join their coven. I covered myself in the blood of Jesus thereafter.

It’s 2:30 am, and, quite frankly, I would rather be anywhere else instead of having to be here answering hick calls from hick subscribers. Still, I have to do my job. And here is another call for me to attend to:

Me: Good morning. Welcome to to Prytel Wireless. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may I help you?

Subscriber: My name is Mary Pepple

Me: Good Morning, how may I help you?

Subscriber: Will you marry me?

Me (completely thrown by this proposal over phone call which, I’m quite sure wasn’t the way I planned my marriage proposal to go. And I intended to do the proposing, not the other way round. And to a woman I actually knew and had met before): What?!!

Subscriber: I am 32 years old. I have been looking for a husband for the past 10 years. Last night my pastor said that the very next man to pick my phone call is the person God has destined for me to marry and that I should take the bull by the horns…

Me (clearly not intending to marry a 32 year old woman that has been seeking a husband for 10 years): Please I would like to know how I may help you…

Subscriber: I’ve told you na. Marry me.

Me: Madam, I cannot…

Subscriber: It is the will of God. My pastor said so. Do you want to go against the will of God?

Me: If I there is nothing I may help you with, I may have to end this call…

Subscriber: If you end the call, you are saying no to God. And saying no to God will cause him to visit you with his wrath. Tunji, my beloved, it is God’s intention that we get married. Maybe he has kept me unmarried for the past ten years just so I could meet you…

Me: Thank you for choo…

Subscriber: God knows where you live. And he will find you….and make sure you marry me….

Me:…sing Prytel Wirless. Do have…

Subscriber: I will bear your children; four boys and three girls. Pastor said…

Me: …a wonderful day. *click* I ended the call.

I do not get paid enough for this.

.....

The moral of this story is this, before you scream, insult or swear for a customer care agent remember this, they work for the company, it pays them peanuts, they probably even hate it more than you do, and yes, they would give you credit to flash if it were within their powers to do so.

JUDGE NOT: LET TONTO DIKEH BE!

2013-08-11T22:24:00.000+01:00

I read with great distress tonight, a story by blogger Linda Ikeji in which she stated that Nollywood actress/musician Tonto Dike had attempted to commit suicide some weeks ago. She stated that the picture (shown above) was Tonto's way of sharing what happened with her fans on instagram. I read this with great distress because like many other Nigerians i have always found it easy to diss and laugh at Tonto mainly because i have been led to believe that she really doesn't care.
When i read this story tonight, i thought to myself 'Tonto is human after-all'.

I lay no claims to knowing the exact thing that may have happened to push her over the edge so much so as to attempt suicide, but i must admit that i realised tonight how tough it must be to be Tonto.

In her own way she struggles just like anyone else to be successful at what she does, she tries to lay her hands on new ventures and gives it her best shot regardless of what anyone says. Isn't that what we tell ourselves all the time? If at first you don't succeed, try again, and even when you fall pick yourself up and try yet again? Objectively speaking this is who she tries to be, that woman who sets goals and tries to achieve them regardless of what any body thinks, that woman who tries to define her brand in new ways that just do not conform to our standards of normalcy. Do this actions in any way make her less human?

It must really be tough to be Tonto Dikeh, a woman heavily criticised by fans as well as colleagues, probably largely unsupported by friends and of course majorly harrassed by disapproving family members. I can imagine her wanting to go a day without reading or hearing some negative comment about her person, while knowing that to achieve the goals she has set for herself this negativity is the cross she must bear.

How long can we go on laughing at and criticising one person just to make our days a little more interesting? How many of us can honestly say that we have achieved in our chosen fields what she has been able to achieve in hers thus far?

I have no intention of going on and on with this, i have been guilty of hating on Tonto and there's a 90% chance that you have too. All i really want you to remember is that its not in our place to judge, not yours nor mine.

Instead of speaking ill of anyone take the advice given in the bible per Phillipians 4:8 ' finally brethren, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

NIGERIA'S BEVERLY OSU: LIAR OR GAME PLAYER, YOU DECIDE

2013-08-11T18:19:00.001+01:00

Young, spontaneous and excessive are words Big Brother Africa fans relate easily to her. Her stories elicit taunts and laughter from Nigerian viewers. Many waive her off, preferring to call her ‘a disgrace to Nigeria’, without a second thought.

But that is what Beverly Ada Osu has brought upon herself, going into the finale of Africa’s biggest reality TV show. She has given no one reason to think or speak otherwise.

And she has revealed more of her
dirty secrets again

Being real?
Beverly found herself on the wrong side of a love triangle early in the game. Many gave her the benefit of doubt when Ugandan basketballer, Isaac ‘LK4’ Lugude decided to play a fast one on her and South African model Koketso Modibo. But many failed to take that as a hint.

She moved on to Ethiopian student, Bimp, after being shipped off to the Diamond House from the Ruby House. She didn’t need his permission to share his bed: She latched onto him like a leech for her daily survival. But Bimp’s avowed commitment to his girlfriend ensured that he kept the lines of friendship very clear.

When South Africa’s Angelo Collins connected with Beverly at the party zone, it was a case of two housemates finding love on the rebound; and that love which Beverly shares with the dance instructor has seen her throw caution to the winds. After two near mishaps, Beverly finally let go last Friday in Biggie’s bathtub. She became the fourth female Chasemate to Be Intimate on live TV, following closely in the footsteps of Betty, Selly and Cleo.

Her many exaggerations
Beverly made ears twinge earlier when she revealed that she was expelled from secondary school. Then she spoke about a ‘thing’ with singer 2Shortz and tongues wagged more. The singer’s rebuttal of any links with her made people have a rethink. Could Beverly be making up her stories? Not long after many discerning fans began to pick holes in her stories. Funny enough, she told many of them to housemates without bothering if she was over-stepping boundaries of decency, tact, fact and truth.

“In Nigeria, I can be walking past a market, and a market woman will stone me,” Bev told Chasemates last week Friday. She claimed a 42-year-old man wanted to marry her after meeting her just for a day, just to buttress an earlier statement: “My mum used to tell me that the guy I will marry, I won’t date for long.”

While confirming that she dropped out of Babcock University, she raised viewers eyebrows with two blatant lies: “I went to the most expensive school in Nigeria. I was a first-class material before dropping out of school, not because I don’t have the brain.” Many can easily attest to the fact that Igbinedion University’s fees dwarf that of Babcock and many a first-class student can spell difference without blinking.

If you still care you can read through these random sensational picks: “Flirting is in my genes,” she told Angelo. “I have over 16 Bibles,” she also told housemates. She claimed that popular singer Omawumi Megbele was her best friend. That was after she let out that a journey from Nigeria to Ghana by road took between 2-3hours. For Beverly, the Nigeria naira exchanges at a N100 to $1: “I told him [one of her ex boyfriends] that I would charge N100,000, that’s about a $1,000!”

Her loose tongue
Beverly’s stories have no boundaries and respect. “My grandmother speaks Ibo and doesn’t speak English very well. She is an illiterate!” Her mother’s dealings in life are in the open. From revealing that her 52-year-old mother carried drugs, she claimed that she was also an alaiye (mother of street urchins), and spoke boldly of how her mother took one young man to the cleaners with the help of her brothers. Hmmm...

She told Elikem on Monday: “My first boyfriend was Frank Okosa. He was 18 and in SS2, I was 15 in SS3. He was the first to Be Intimate with me.” She went ahead to reel out a list of her many boyfriends after Okosa: CJ, Nosa (32yrs), Rukkie (35yrs), Special (32yrs) and Curtis (28yrs). To justify her many men, she gave a lame excuse: “All my ex were over-protective and they took me for granted.” If she had stopped there it would have been very unlike her. But she dropped another bombshell for Elikem, the listening ear: “I can’t make love except I am high.”

On Wednesday, Beverly still wanted to have a say, as long as any housemate made a comment. So, when Namibia’s Dillish Matthews disclosed that her mother’s birthday was August 14, Beverly jumped in, “my mum’s birthday is tomorrow.”

Beverly’s many tales coupled with her bathtub escapade with Angelo is not doing her any favours with the fans. But if she can avoid the possible eviction nomination list next week, she will be in the annals of Big Brother Africa history books as the only Chasemate who made the grand finale without being nominated for 11weeks. If her name comes up next week, it would be safe to say even at this time that she may never make it to the finale, Nigerian or not!

Do you think shes playing the game? Can she bring the dollars back to naija?

StoryBy: Boboye Onduku

INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN: FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA TELLS HER STORY

2013-08-11T17:52:00.000+01:00

Mrs. Folorunsho Alakija has been a household name in Nigeria over the years, but stepped on the world stage when Forbes Magazine named her the richest woman in Africa. Today she is the Executive Vice Chairman of Famfa Oil and Executive Vice Chairman of Dayspring Property Development Company. In addition to this, she is the Founder of Rose of Sharon Foundation, a non governmental organization that caters for widows and orphans across the country. At any empowerment program she organizes for tless privileged, she does it with modesty and humility as she danced and ate with them. She is down to earth and has deep passion for God’s work hence the establishment of Rose of Sharon Ministries, a place of praise and worship to bring back dancing and eating lost souls to the kingdom of God. In this interview she tells her story. Excerpts:

You have authored Growing with the hands that gives the rose, University of Marriage and now The cry of widows and orphans. How did you make out time for these with your busy schedule?
It’s the grace of God. It’s not just me. Many years ago, God told me that I will author books and it’s not that I didn’t believe it, I did, but I just didn’t know how or when it would happen. Now, the rest is history. So I give Him the praise. It has been through His grace. When He calls you to do something, He gives you grace to achieve it.

With your most recent book, what do you intend to achieve?
I basically want the world to be aware of the plight and challenges of widows and orphans. The world should rise up and show concern by doing something about their situation. Enough of lip service, it’s about time that we took the bull by the horns and began to do something. These are human beings who are supposed to be our mothers and sisters. Let’s be our brothers keepers. Let’s do something about their situation. It’s really about advocacy. We want to use the book to knock on doors, to wake people up from their slumber, to make them realize that there are some human beings in our world that are going through traumatic experience.

Your Rose of Sharon Foundation recently marked its fifth anniversary. Tell us your motivation for the foundation and how it has fared?
Our focus is the alleviation of the suffering of widows and orphans, just as the scripture says. We do so through the design and execution of programs that give financial independence and educational opportunities to widows, their children and orphans. A journey that started with three widows on 23rd May, 2008, has blossomed into a network of almost a thousand widows today. Since inception, the foundation has empowered 970 widows, 11 of whom are in the university; awarded scholarships to 1, 366 widows’ children and 72 orphans. The loans given to widows are interest free and the scholarships have no conditions attached. It has also provided accommodation for business purposes for 82 widows. Moreover, we have provided some free healthcare check-ups and free legal services to our widows with the support of other agencies.

What have been your challenges in your efforts to better the lot of widows?
Funding has always been a challenge. We’ve never had enough funds to be able to attend to the needs of all those who require assistance because their number is alarming. It’s when you get involved in it that you realize the number of widows in the country. Already, in Lagos State, we are overwhelmed . They seem to know one another and where to find each other. They are each other’s friends. As a result of the empowerment that we provide, they go back and advertise Rose of Sharon Foundation to their friends. We always find that we are empowering more. We will need to hire more hands for counseling and verification.

What’s your typical day like ?
I thank God for the staff God has given me, who give me maximum support. I give the instructions, they do a lot of groundwork and I do the supervision. They support me in every way. The foundation members and the trustees are working and they are supportive. I’m not working as a loner. God is kind; He is bringing the right people at the right time.

Aside your business, you also run The Rose of Sharon Ministry, coupled with the widows and orphans foundation and you are also one of the front liners in your local church . How do you cope with all these assignments?
I have told you it’s by God’s grace. There is nothing you cannot achieve with God and with God there is nothing you won’t achieve. So, it’s a matter of holding to that pillar, praying, letting Him know that you cannot do any of these without Him. That is when He steps in and makes things easier for you.

Your spiritual life is so intriguing; coming from a Muslim background, you preach the gospel even more than those nurtured in Christian homes. How did you become a preacher?
I’m not competing with anyone. I don’t know I’m even there yet. I just believe that I will continue to answer Him and do His bidding, His will. I set my time to please Him. I want to make heaven and I want my family and my friends to make heaven.

What’s your advice to women who are determined to improve themselves?
As you start, ask God to help you stick to your plan and He will because when you are spiritually at peace, you will, have peace of mind, which will help you attain and maintain a physical and emotional balance. It’s essential to draw up a “things to do” list on a daily basis and set priorities in executing them, making sure that any unfinished task get posted to the next day’s list. Remove what is bad for you. As you do, consider what would give you more time for yourself, your health, rest and recreation, and more time for and with your family. Learning to say “no” as it’s also a practical way to re-organize your life. We do not have to keep saying “yes” to every request just because we want to be nice.

Can you tell us how you met your husband?
I returned from England in December 1972 and within 2 weeks of my arrival in Nigeria, I met Mr. Modupe Alakija, a dashing young lawyer, at a party in Surulere. Though I was in the company of my elder brother, he insisted on driving me home and from that point on, we dated regularly for three and half years and we got married on November12th 1976. During our courtship, we partied, dined, visited friends, combed streets, markets and generally had a swell time in each other’s company. We went out frequently for lunch and dinner visiting suya and decent mama put joints. I also have fond memories of many times we drove to Badagry and Epe just to buy fresh fish.

You dress beautifully, what inspired your style?
I derive a lot of pleasure from dressing beautifully and appropriately for every occasion. My embroidered headties are my signature accessory and have become synonymous with me. Nobody looking for me has any difficulty in fishing me out in a crowdwhen I am in my native attire. I receive even more compliments for my head ties abroad. My long skirts and blouses, day suits, evening wears and casuals must always be impeccably fitted, as I would never wear anything less. My colours must be bright as the African weather. I love to look beautiful and have beautiful people and things around me.

source: www.informationng.com

CHIKA IKE : I LEFT MY MARRIAGE BEACUSE I WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

2013-08-10T00:05:00.000+01:00

Pretty nollywood actress Chike Ike has lent her voice to the campaign against domestic violence by writing an open letter to her fans, revealing the physical abuse she suffered in the hands of the man she called her husband for five years. Read her story after the cut

'The past three years has been a very emotional period for me. I focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem. its been really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim of domestic violence. I've been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of challenges but this is one topic I've tried so hard to avoid and have been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve that there's really no right time because every second of the day,lives are being lost due to domestic violence. I was a victiim of domestic violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my marriage, aside other reasons.

Growing up as a girl. I was always known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn't understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess there are no types. It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his emotions,after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won't happen again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him. Over the years when it kept happening consistently I started looking for other definitions for it. I started loosing my self pride,self esteem , self worth, and most painfully i lost a pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it really was.

I have heard and read a lot of accusations from ignorant people who don't know my story,I guess that's why they are ignorant. I was 20yrs old and very naïve to the world when I got married .“ They said I married for money“ LOL. I was married to a corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment at Egbe.. So do the maths! . I married for love. I did a traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that's how much I wanted to be married forever. For five years I hoped, prayed & wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that broke the camels back was during a heated argument he threw a glass jug to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall. I saw death flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my marriage.

Am not saying this to draw pity from anyone because we are entitled to our opinions and believes. I am not also saying this to discourage people from falling in love because its a beautiful feeling and I still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share and talk about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is real. '

10 STEPS TO TAKE FOR GLOWING SKIN

2013-08-09T23:51:00.000+01:00

Can you look into a mirror and honestly say, 'I have perfect skin'. If you can, then you probably are a few of those lucky people in the world. Most of us, are forever complaining about the acne, dark circles, tanned skin, pigmentation, fine lines, wrinkles, freckles and more... Phew! Isn't the list almost endless? But then, is 'good healthy skin' really such an unattainable dream? Skin experts and beauticians would probably disagree stating regular and timely care can help you achieve it. Follow these tips and get closer to radiant glowing skin...

1. Diet : What you eat decides how you look. This statement shows the importance of good healthy food in our diet. Deepshikha Agarwal, a dietician and sports nutritionist says, " Antioxidants are present in berries, blueberries, cranberries and in aloe vera (as we no come get am for naija nko?) that can help fight bacteria and keep your skin vibrant. Vitamin E is another important nutrient that helps to keep our skin supple and wrinkle-free. Avoiding caffeine is a great idea because it hastens skin darkening and ageing ( oh wow! didn't know this). Opt for green tea instead."

2. Sunscreen : This is a must for all skin types, according to skin specialists. Dr Apratim Goel, dermatologist says, "Use a sunscreen with a minimum SPF (Sun Protection Factor) of 25 which should be applied at least twenty minutes prior to going out. Do this even when you are indoors all day, because your computer screen and your cooking flame emit UV rays that damage skin. A good sunscreen can counter this effect."

3. Good skin care routine : Soma Sarkar Mukherjee, dermatologist and cosmetologist says, "A regular and good skin care routine is the basic essential when you are aiming for healthy radiant skin." Dr Goel adds, "Removing makeup is important. Never mistake a cleanser for a make-up remover. You should begin by removing eye make-up, then go to the cheek and lips." Daily toning and moisturising is also important says Soma.

4. Detoxification : This removes the toxins and other waste from the body that make our skin look dull and lifeless. Deepshikha says, "Drinking at least 2.5 litres of water helps flush out toxins."

5. Deworming : No matter what your age is, it is important to deworm for good health.

6. Avoid getting tanned : The sun not only makes your skin pigmented, it also causes early aging and premature wrinkles. Regular clean-ups and facials can help your skin look healthy and glowing says Dr Goel.

7. Men too : Not just women, skin care is just as important for men. Use a skin soothener like aloe vera gel or a calamine lotion in case of a shaving rash.

8. Take care of dry, dark and scaly hands and feet : Hands and feet are the first to show signs of neglect. Aesthetician Ritu Tanwar says, "Begin by exfoliating and scrubbing your hands and then apply moisturiser meant for your hands and feet. Before going off to sleep, apply a creamy and nourishing cream and then, wear socks. A good manicure and pedicure at least once every month is essential."

9. Hair and nail care : Caring for your hair and nails are important too. Dry frizzy, unhealthy hair and nails may be a sign that you have some sort of malnutrition or deficiency. Consult a doctor. "A healthy diet, and at least once a month manicure and pedicure is essential for well-groomed nails," says Ritu.

10. Consult the experts! When none of the above work, it's time to see a specialist!

source: times of india

24 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

2013-08-09T21:35:00.004+01:00

Recently the Big Brother Africa housemates have had cause to examine abusive relationships, leading to alarming revelations from housemates Cleo and Beverly, declaring that they have at some point in their past been in abusive relationships. (This article is not a 'lets hate on beverly festival, so if that's what you're looking for ite really time to stop reading). The housemates discussions come at a time when abusive relationships are almost common place in the news, and even more so because the the females often choose to stand by their ~~abusive~~ men. How do women (men sef) get into such relationships? How do men turn around and abuse this women they had presumably professed love to at some point? Why do this women put up with it? Why do they go back to these men? Today we discuss 24 signs that you may be in an abusive relationship.

Abusive relationships never start out that way, as a matter of fact they start out like just about any other loving relationship.The abuse (whether emotional or physical) slips in gradually and is slowly accepted and forgiven because of its calm progression. It progesses so slowly that the abused person doesn't even realise that they are being abused until it comes to a head.Their partner often slips from extra loving to abusive and back, so easily that it almost seems normal. In fact true to feminine nature such abuse is rarely (if ever talked) about for as long as the relationship is a going concern.So how can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship before someone gets hurt? What are some of the warning signs?

While this list is not exhaustive, it is also not an authority on abusive relationships.This are some signs that you may be in an abusive relationship

- You’re afraid to break up with them, and its not because you think you can't live without them

-You feel tied down, like you have to check-in or account for your whereabouts. As a matter of fact you absolutely have to give account for your whereabouts.

- You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects because the other person gets too mad

-You are afraid to contradict them.

-You convince yourself that if you just try harder and love him/her enough everything will get better

- You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy

-You find yourself using more drugs or alcohol to deal with the anxiety or fear in the relationship or to numb yourself out

- You spend your time worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy

-You feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time

-You find the physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse is getting worse over time

-You are being cut off from family members and friends more and more

-You partner makes decisions about where to go or what to do with little or no input from you

- You are often belittled and called names when the two of you are alone

-You are often embarrassed and humiliated in front of others, or your partner talks about you as if you are not there

-You are having sex that is forced or rougher than you prefer

- You find the intensity you had in the beginning of the relationship quickly waning

-You are being treated like a servant by your partner

-You are prevented from having access to your own money or the family’s money

-Money is used to control and manipulate you

-You are made to feel guilty about your children, as he/she tells you the children need a two parent home

- Your children are used to relay messages between you and your partner

- He/she threatens to take your children away from you

- Your partner denies the abuse,making you feel crazy

-You are feeling intimidated by your partner when they hit objects, abuse pets, brandish weapons, or verbally threaten you

If you are feeling this way in your relationship, try to talk to someone. Talk to a friend or family member you can trust. It’s important to deal with this before you get hurt. Love should not be about fear. If you have children, it’s even more important to get help. Children learn their relationship patterns from their parents. If you are being abused, you are teaching your children to either;
1) be abuse victims or
2) be abuse perpetrators.

You probably learned this pattern by watching your own parents. This cycle of abuse that is handed down from generation to generation has to stop somewhere.If you have ever been,or are presently being abused, speak out, lend your words to the campaign against abuse in any form, and speak out to strenthen your resolve for a better life.

For emotional/physical abuse to end someone has to speak out, walk out, take action. Let it be you!!