Spark Gaia

Clear Sky Farm Website

2010-07-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

My clothes, hair, breath and blood smells like garlic. We've been harvesting garlic scapes for the past 3 weeks, and making some delicious products out of them - Indian Garlic Chutney and Pickled Garlic Scapes!!!

We have also finally got our Clear Sky Farm website up and running : www.clearskyfarm.ca!

We are using a hosting company called Fatcow. Websites don't need to be difficult anymore. I used a program they offered called "weebly drag and drop site builder". though simple and limiting at times, it does enough to get a basic website up quick, without needing to use HTML computer language. I still don't know what all that is.

So check out our website!! Order your garlic now!!! www.clearskyfarm.ca

My blog postings will now largely be at www.clearskyfarm.ca/wow

Thanks!

Awareness of Grass

2010-06-16T01:29:00.000-07:00

I was blown away by the weekend workshop on 'native grassland reclamation/restoration' at Clear Sky. I couldn't help but think of a Buddhist tenet that applies very much to land stewardship as well....

See the wholesome for the wholesome, and make efforts to encourage it. See the unwholesome for the unwholesome and make efforts to drop it.

I used to look out the windows at the Rocky Mountain scenery, and dwell in a kind of idealistic feeling of beauty. Now..i realise..theres a huge problem in the so called 'wild' Rocky Mountain Trench where I live. Fire supression has put the ecosystem off balance & forest ingrowth now means that wild & ranched inhabitants of the trench are losing out on good food.

At the same time, invasive plant species are moving in- sulphur cinquefoil, orange hawkeweed, cheatgrass, kentucky blue grass and so on. They are slowly taking over and outcompeting the nutritious, drought tolerant native plant communities. It astounds me how invasives came from far and wide -cheat grass comes from the mediterranean and is growing outside my back door in snowy canada!

Its amazing what a bit of education, understanding and awareness can do - I used to just walk over the weeds completely oblivious, or spread them further. Now I'm looking forward to mapping our land, preparing a 'master plan', reducing forest ingrowth through tree thinning, and coming up with ways to encourage the remnant native plant communities, while discouraging the unhealthy invasive plants already here, from spreading.

Heres to awareness, and encouraging the wholesome.

Native Grasslands - Cool & delicious

2010-05-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Clear Sky (www.clearskycenter.org ) is hosting a Grasslands Restoration / Reclamation Workshop on June 12th and 13th. I'm really excited to see what we will discover. "Grass" ( not the smoking stuff) doesn't sound so interesting now does it?

But when you think about the acres upon acres upon acres of land that have been replanted with traditional hay mixes or simply paved over, maintained with thousands of gallons of oil and water year after year, you start to wonder if nature could did it better.

Native Grasses, so i hear, are highly nutritious for animals, are drought hardy, attract beneficial pollinators and support all round ecosystem health.

For me, a feeling arises that restoring native grassland habitats on our land would be 'too difficult'. I think of expensive native seed prices, hard work and a big whoppin 'i wouldn't know where to start'. I have a feeling that my perceptions will change after the workshop. I hope this course will provide some real life solutions and confidence in sowing healthier seeds on the rocky mountain grassland landscape.

http://sparkgaia.blogspot.com/

Horse Zen in Cowboy Boots

2010-05-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend I attended a draft horse workshop at the local Fort Steele Heritage Town. I am excited to discover that meditation and mindfulness is directly applicable to successful horsemanship, even in Cowboy Boots:

Fort Steele Town invited Doc Hammil, an amazing horseman from Montana, to teach the course. (www.dochammill.com). This was the real stuff. We learned about how horses think and sense and work with humans. We learned all about harnesses and the hardware, collars, buckles, straps, shanks, lines... and of course safety, and the importance of training and consistency with horses on the ground. Then we were thrown into wagons and given the reins. This was real mountain learning, thrown in the deep end! Most people there were very experienced horse people. (unlike me) I got the sense that this kind of teaching wouldn't have happened in Vancouver or New York. - it didn't hold your hand like a baby, you got thrown right in with the horses, and you had to get brave and swim with it - like people traditionally learned on farms.

Natural Horsemanship:

Doc uses the techniques of Natural Horsemanship - which emphasises communication and understanding with your horse rather than aggression. Having just read a great book about natural horsemanship,"The man who listens to horses" by Monty Roberts, I was very excited when Doc started describing similar techniques.

You've got to be a kind, gentle but firm boss to gain the horse's respect and obedience. If you're too soft, the horse will try to push you around, and thats where it gets physically dangerous. If you're too hard, you may be a short term victor by aggression and domination but you 'break' any enthusiasm and eagerness a horse would also naturally have to work for their herd leader (you). You will also probably create a whole whack of neurosis and fear around humans.

If you gain a horse's respect, then they trust that you are their herd leader and are looking out for them. Then they're willing to work and willing to ignore or have equanimity toward all the things we do to them that are naturally frightening. Doc described how our human behaviour is very predator like - we walk in direct straight lines, we smell like meat eaters, we're aggressive. Furthermore, the natural predators of horses are wild cats and dogs: Cats would pounce on their back (just like a saddle and rider), while wild dogs would nip at them from behind (just like a work plow or wagon). So the fact that a horse can ignore its natural flight instinct in the face of potential threat, i find wonderous - as if they were eager meditators, or disciples of their trusted human teacher, they are willing and able to learn to overcome their conditioning, their habitual patterns and instincts!

I now feel a new sense of wonder toward animals....

We worked with over 6 of Fort Steele's beautiful Clydesdale horses, and the diverse array of wagons and farm equipment they have there. We used a walk behind single bottom plow, as watched how a set of horse drawn discs are used. Some of the old timers there described how they could plow 5 acres a day with a team of four horses. We heard about all the 'wrecks' and tragic horse accidents - there is a lot of potential for disaster, mostly due to our human tendencies to lose concentration, focus and attention to the details of what is happening moment to moment with the horses, equipment, terrain, and our own emotions.

Doc's message: When you're calm, horses are calm. Remain emotionally neutral, no matter what happens. Visualise success and perfection with no attachment to the outcome.

Finally, a quote from one of Doc's old mentors (likely a cowboy boot wearing zen master):

"Life isn't free. You have to pay attention"

and so...the Zen of Horses

(PS> Clear Sky is at the end of the last mountain of the range above!)

http://sparkgaia.blogspot.com/

A Harrowing Experience

2010-05-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Today was very harrowing. Faced with the penultimate task of seeding areas of our field, I had to use HARROWS. Yes. Diamond Harrows in fact. Tied to a log, attached to rope, attached to the tractor.

Now, if i was a real rancher, I'd have a fancier set of hay equipment :A big huge tractor, Discs, a Drill Seeder and a Roller. The Drill seeder would put the seed right in the ground and cover it up with soil, nice and happily.

But i'm not a real rancher and we aren't set up for 'haying' at Clear Sky. So I borrowed from a friend what is basically some metal spikes attached to a pole, dragged behind our baby kubota tractor- aka harrows. It fluffs the soil up a little, you then spread the seed, and drive over it again, hopefully covering the seed. You also pray you don't rip out all the grass that's already growing.

Well. What an all over the place experience. First I nearly snapped the harrows in half because i had the lead rope too short. I turned a tight corner and got the big metal spikes caught in the tractor's back tire! Luckily myself and the machines all got out of that alive.

It was also hard to remember where I had driven over, and where I had already seeded. My expensive seeding equipment consisted of a bucket of seed and my hands/arms swirling seed around, plus my feet/legs moving that apparatus to new areas. Next time I will need to have a more organised route. I also snapped the rope at one point turning sharply...I was about to give up out of laziness but finally decided to add a new piece of rope but I tied it WAAAY to long. The pieces of wood i used to weigh the harrows down also kept falling off...eventually i just let them go and theres probably still one or two lying in the field somewhere.

I wondered if the neighbours could see me and were laughing at my wierd harrowing behaviour.

Lesson 1 for today: Some basic facts of life are so un-obvious to city folk who have never driven tractors or used harrrows.

Even when faced with ropes and tractor asses and grease and large pieces of metal that look like they could crush you and your mama, Life must go on! The seeds must be planted!

http://sparkgaia.blogspot.com/

Permaculture in Canada

2010-05-09T15:45:00.000-07:00

In New Zealand there is a permaculture organisation called "PINZ" - Permaculture in New Zealand. They run a national permaculture diploma certification in NZ, and have an annual meeting where leading permaculturalists get together and share their latest research, ideas and discoveries. They publish a newsletter and their website also has a great message board with lots of info. http://www.permaculture.org.nz/

Canada however seems to be without an organising permaculture body. Perhaps its the size of the country, or the climate, or maybe it just hasn't yet taken root quite as deeply as in the Australasia. At any rate, i recently heard about a permaculture canada website - its actually a member forum type site - where permaculture folk can sign up and share info, ideas, photos, events etc.

You can join Permaculture in Canada: http://permaculturecanada.ning.com/

Under Cara @ Clear Sky I have posted some photos of a food forest, swales, gardens : http://permaculturecanada.ning.com/profile/CaraatClearSky

It would be a wonderful thing to one day have an annual Canada permaculture conference....

Water, water, water: Swales & Drip Irrigation

2010-05-07T10:22:00.001-07:00

Where we are in the Rocky Mountains, it is dry dry dry.

Last year, my first farming year, I struggled to remember that plants need water. A local came round one day, and I proudly showed him our potato plot and our new garden beds in the field. He looked around...he said...'wheres the water?'. GULP. I looked around, with new eyes on. It was true. The beds were parched, the earth was cracking. GULP. It was still spring, and it had been raining, up till about a week or so prior. It had promptly turned to hot, summery weather, very early. I'd assumed the plants had plenty of spring rain...which they didn't. What a blind spot!

As flakey as this sounds, I used to pretend I was very unemotional - Hard and stoic. I don't think i fooled anyone but myself, but I wonder if that negation of the 'water element' or feeling principle in my psyche affected how i treated the garden.

ANYWAY. This year I'm determined to make sure the plants get enough water. Sprinklers were crazily inefficient last year - we were getting up at 5 am and racing down to move our sprinklers. The heat and dryness evaporated most of the moisture. It felt like we were running to put out fires constantly. Mini soil fires. So the solution this year is drip irrigation, combined with swales for the food forest area.

Drip Irrigation
In early spring I spent a good amount of time working with Dripworks, an online California based drip irrigation company. Though I'd rather shop local, my only real alternative here is the local home and garden store - which caters more to hobby gardeners, and the prices reflect that. Dripworks shipped all my supplies to Montana, 1.5 hours drive away. We've nearly finished setting it up the system. Better than any gym membership, the hours of work laying out hundreds of feet of 3/4 inch, 1/2 inch and drip tape tubing has done wonders for our figures. (I'll show you my biceps if you lay out some more pipe).

Swales
Swales were always a miraculous mystery to me.
I first heard about these 'on-contour' passive irrigation 'trenches' from Jo Pearsall and Bryan Innes on their 2009 permaculture design course in Rotorua, New Zealand. I was awed by the idea that digging some ditches could 'slow down' water and give it a chance to soak into the soil. They showed videos of Australian heavy machinery building massive swales, or talked about doing it by hand. It all seemed confusing and a huge undertaking - either machine or labour wise. Swales barely registered as 'doable'.

But the next time, i was ready. I did a second permaculture course in Minnessotta, USA with Mark Shepard last October. (He's the MAN when it comes to large scale, put into practice, real life permaculture. He has 100 acres in Wisconsin, and is farming it sustainably, applying permaculture AND making a good livelihood for him and his family.) We actually dug a swale for Cathy, our host at beautiful Nature's Nest Farm just out side Minneapolis. I realised it was doable by hand, and also doable by single or double bottom plow. Maureen and I got back from Minessota that October gung ho. - we got out and DUG one 350foot swale by hand, just before freeze up!!! ( It took maybe 5 full days of labour for one person).

Come winter, with snow, melt & freeze conditions, we soon discovered our swale wasn't level. I"m not sure why - perhaps the A Frame I made wasn't up to scratch. We leveled it out by hand (using the eye). We'll see.

7 other swales, we dug with our tractor pulling our neighbour Herb's old single bottom plow - a beautiful old, sturdy, traditional implement. It saved a lot of grunt work. Thanks Herb!

Swale Video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFeylOa_S4c

Samsara & Nirvana in San Francisco

2010-02-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

I'm in San Francisco for a week, taking a break from the winter wonderland that is Canada. Its a harsh climate for this tropical antipodean born human. A primal hunger for Vitamin D and stimulation drove me to take this break from my first full snowy winter!

First shock : The entire North American continent is NOT under snow. Greg's place (where i'm staying) has a GARDEN out back with gorgeous weeds that drew me out like Triffids 10 seconds after arrival. all i wanted to do was get my hands on them. Being in snow and ice everyday, it didn't dawn on me that there are places not so far from Canada that AREN"T!

Second shock : All sorts of my favourite indulgent things endow the city - things i don't get in Cranbrook. Dim Sum! Indian Food! Contact Improvisation, Yoga, Seasides, Cheap chinese foot massages! Broadway! Wierd arty performances! Vintagely fashionable gender benders, funky thrift stores....

Third shock : I don't want to move back to a city, despite the 'trappings' of civilisation. Yoga? Indian Food? Pretty People? So what?? Cities seem so chock full, yet empty. Leah summed it up well last night over tempura soba. Cities are crowded, landscapes are brimming over, people are in close proximity, but, there is such distance between people. In the countryside however, there more space, wild open landscapes, yet, somehow, a closer connection between people.

I'm starting to think that maybe relationships in the city sometimes give the impression of depth and meaning - new age, educated, progressive city slickers know how to talk the talk of emotions and feelings, psychology, liberal politics and to 'be in the now'. People in the country on the other hand might use less words but somehow they know how to BE more authentically...more research and observation required!!

Fourth Shock : Samsara is Suffering, remember? On first appearance, San Fran seems like the realm of the Gods. One can run from one indulgence to the next. However, to use the traditional Buddhist metaphors of the states of being we find ourselves in, the Hungry Ghost and Hell Realms are very visible here too. Cycling round the city i found myself in very pained neighborhoods full of people on drugs, the homeless, destitute, but more than anything material, in such states of suffering. I felt the pain in my body, fear arose. Seeing such extreme states manifesting clearly in districts such as the Tenderloin, or even the violent memories floating through touristy Alcrataz Prison, have helped me recognise the more subtle hell states within my own being - The "tenderloin" of San Francisco also arises in me and i presume in all of beings, whether consciously or not.

As the Buddha tried to tell us, Samsara and Nirvana are one. Suffering is ripe, it is the nature of the world, as is infinite compassionate bliss - ain't that the lesson of the lifetime!!??

Our first summer - Karma Yoga

2010-02-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from A SUMMER OF KARMA YOGA AT CLEAR SKY, by Linda Hochstetler.
Linda is Clear Sky's Farm Committee Manager
The full article was published in the Naked Alaya Newsletter - November 2009.

This summer was filled with farming and gardening projects from sun-up to sun-down and often on into the evening. We built a composter to accommodate the new Humanure additions, and tackled endless weeding. I joined in the building project training which produced a garden shed in record time, thanks to 25 people working flat-out for two days. I also assisted Adrian in cooking treats and meals for ravenous builders and gardeners.

As the Saskatoon berries ripened, I wrestled approval from the public health department to sell our jams and jellies at the Cranbrook Farmer’s Market. With our certificate in hand we cranked into production. Every available person picked berries or learned the art of making jams, jellies, and pies. We developed our flagship recipes – Saskatoon berry chutney and an organic low-sugar Saskatoon berry/rhubarb jam. Every conversation I had for the next three weeks CENTERED AROUND Saskatoon berries. They even intruded into my meditations! I can still hear David asking for more Saskatoon juice. We experienced the elation of taking our products to the Cranbrook Farmer’s Market and bringing home an average of $350 every Saturday. Imagine! We had found a way to use free, wild fruit on the property to benefit Clear Sky as well as jam aficionados.

Meanwhile, in the field and Gaia Garden, three large plots produced the best-tasting green beans and peas, not to mention scrumptious raspberries. We improved on the 100 mile diet plan, and were enjoying instead our 100 footstep produce plan! The potatoes were still in the fields as I left, but it looked like they would yield a bumper crop. We ate mounds of spinach, arugula, and lettuce salads all summer, with enough left to sell at the farmers market. We didn’t come close to producing enough vegetables to feed the gang at dinner each night, but we did do an amazing job of beginning to feed ourselves and preparing the fields to produce more next year. It delights me to know that we are well on the way to providing our own food, especially if we ever face a crises in years to come. It thrilled me to see everyone fall in love with our home grown produce and guard it so well, as if every raspberry was a jewel and every bean a gem.

In spite of intense karma yoga, I found time to immerse myself in the powerful wongkurs offered by Sensei each Saturday throughout the summer.

The rest of August offered an intense group experience with nearly daily committee meetings and plenty of productive conflict and confrontation. Luckily there were always plenty of hugs and Saskatoon berry cordials to go around to help smooth the path through difficult discussions. Many evenings ended close to midnight following informal farm committee meetings to reshuffle priorities and juggle competing needs to mulch, weed, and deal with berries. I’m sure I drove other karma yoginis crazy with my rebelliousness and independent impulsiveness. I’d been warned that karma yoga work can be intense and can bring up lots of conflict. Still, I was pleasantly surprised with how well we all got along. Perhaps keeping the purpose of spiritual awakening first and foremost in our thoughts and actions was what helped us in this regard. I made a final promise to stay connected throughout the year and to help out with some of the on-going Clear Sky projects.

My karma yoga experience reminded me of the importance of real life awareness. It doesn’t end when you get up off the cushion, but continues into every aspect of our daily lives. And having experienced awareness, it is nearly impossible to go back to old selfish patterns and to pretend we live in a world of our own.

On Sparking Gaia / Cara

2009-01-05T18:58:00.000-08:00

I haven't written here for a while. I kept telling myself that I should but I couldn't think of anything to say. I sunk lethargically into a dull mind, spaced out mind. I lost the urge to see and to share the wonder of the miraculous mundane. Sometimes, I lose my will to spark gaia. Do you?

Spark gaia?

Yes. To alert and enliven the planet with a crash, lightning cymbals. To flip the switch of passion that lies waiting forgotten in every belly. The spark that will open our eyes, allow us to see our wounds, and then take actions to heal, change, see, transcend. Spark gaia, wake up gaia!....t0 burn passionately with life! fire under foot, crows pulling at your hair.

I guess this notion of sparking gaia might apply to the planet, in that theres troubling times ahead, and we need change NOW. but i guess at a personal level, "spark cara" is what I really want. I want the energy and the will to become the rumbling of my atoms. I am silently wishing there was a spark that would set me alive forever. that i would be free, energetic and of true service. But no... there doesn't seem to be a magic pill!= I am realising that to spark gaia, I have to will it so every single moment.

Spark. Spark!

ss..pp aarrk!

So...Does the same principle apply to our planet then? To our imploding Gaia ship earth? How do we make her healthy again? Or more, how do we learn to be stewards of the planet again? Probably, we have to want to be stewards to be stewards.

The Grunting Good In Us All

2008-11-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

Grunt grunt go go! I am stoked like cherry flame testosterone pride! I drove a tractor!!

Now, it was no monster, it was a dear John Deere, green and cute. It had a broken seat so I had to sit, ramrod butt, spine straight up and down. And a manly metallic spine at that. There were four gears which shift clunky. I was daring and even climbed to 3rd gear on the home stretch! It rumbled and puffed like the magic dragon, grunting out smokey goodness as it chugged along. I was the heroic cowgirl, minus a horse, straight backed, upright, high in the air. My noble task was to transport the household rubbish bags to the burning pile out back of the barn. It was a glamourous enterprise, especially when the bags kept falling off! oh boy were those levers fun. Big teeth UP, big mouth OPEN, big arm down, mind the bum as you turn the corner.

I am also realising how USEFUL tractors are...and am really asking how it is possible to grow organically, fertilising by hand with mulches etc, on a scale that is large enough to be economically viable. I spoke with a young farmer in BC about this tonight, and he says he has struggled with that question too - sure, if 90% of our population grew food, we could grow on small scales very efficiently. However, with 4-5% of the population trying to feed the rest of us, it seems we may NEED to use some of the methods of agribusiness -namely tractors, non-mulch fertilisers. Its all very well making your own compost for your garden, but how about for 10 acres of land? I'm beginning to see why farmers use chemical fertilisers. The farmer here has also challenged my understanding of 'organic' - organic Bat poo fertilisers may be flown half way round the world - is that good? Organic is getting old, 'carbon footprint' and food miles are in, dude. How far does your food travel?

I have also nourished my inner mother egg - THREE times I have gathered duck eggs! I am learning the round white art of tiptoeing among the offerings sprawled around the barn. The ducks bury some of them deep, and I feel their eyes watching me, hoping hoping that I will miss their latest hiding place. Of course, they get the last laugh as I have to scrape off compacted shit and woodshavings from their buried treasures. I imagine the Quack Ringleaders are the culprits for those few hidden ones. They're the ones that lead the otherwise rather contented ducks into fearful chaos at my every move. The George Bushes of ducks? She's either with us, or against us, and she's definately not a duck! I keep my arms down, walk slowly, while entertaining with mantras and singsong. They lay about one a day each.

I am also proud to report that I have winter sandpaper lips! This is a rare occurance for one with a gentrified upbringing! Not to mention woodblock hands and the immovable dirt under my nails. mmmm...yummmy. It can be as cold as -15 C at night. I have to revert to all night electric heating sucking me dry! Anyone want a kiss?

Well, you guys are all to far away, but Paws and Liam might give me one. Thats them below in the Greenhouse. (photo as you requested John!)

From winter apprenticeship 2008/9, Edmonton AB

Ladies and Gentlemen, its Farm Time!

2008-11-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

A day goes FAST on this farm. Its probably the case on all farms, boy are these folks hard working! However, when I review what I actually did in 7 hours of physical activity, it seems scarily little! every thing is s..l o..w...e...r. I feel like I've upgraded my world view software! This time its 3D, big, and heavy! I'm a girl used to typing at brain speed and endless thinking. This change to using my body to DO STUFF in the heavy chunky relative world of large objects just seems ...slower. Slower than my usual ideas that never get done! I feel like I'm actually doing SOMETHING for the first time in my life. I feel like I've been living in my head and daydreams until now. This is solid stuff baby.

Time ticks as I lift the next heavy basket of beets or carrots or duck legs to their new positions in cars, fridges, cutting tables or shelves. Time ticks as we roll up 300metres of heavy duty irrigation piping for the winter. Tick Tock says the clock as breakfasts, lunches and dinners comes round, fuel in for energy out. It takes a couple of hours to dig up four baskets of beets or turnips.

I had breakfast with the family and the 9 birds, 3 dogs and 3 cats all in the kitchen. I had the privlege of being chosen by one parrot as a shoulder roost and feeder of sunflower seeds from my own muesli. After that, in my day of work, I did two things, neither completed, but both well attempted. I started at the picnic table, aka lowtech vege sorter. I cut the heads of the rainbow beets I'd pulled yesterday. They are so called 'heritage varieties' with all sorts of interesting colours. It makes them a mint more money, branding this family farm the superstars of the Edmonton local vege fiefdom. So I chopped beets relentlessly and left a giant mound of leaf carcasses in my wake. The dark red beet stems look particularly murderous. Along with the carnage I proudly birthed fresh baskets of clean cut mohawk beet-nicks, all looking particularly naked. They are destined for storage bins in a slightly too warm barn room (the next refrigeration project will cost $9000)...and sniff sniff...they may rot before we can sort and sell them. I'm learning there is a lot more behind farming than first appearances. $$$$ is required to do it well!

I was really windy and I'd suited up in my Salvation Army winter overalls. Bbbrrr... I was guiltily and gleefully listening to my ipodcasts about fungi mycellium saving the world when I think I hear sounds... Its around 11 and I looked up...I heard human man sounds wafting over. Whats Mr Farmer up to I wondered... I drop my scissors and am pulled like the hypnotised victim in a horror movie, to the giant...humongous...wood shavings mound!

Wood shavings used in the duck barns had been delivered in a huge truck the day before. Our very own yellow sahara sand pyramid out in the middle of Alberta. Its all fine and dandy when its calm out...but oh boy..the wind came today. So anyway I got to the woodpile and found farmer Hercules fighting a huge battle. He's trying to keep the tarp on the blowing pile. He's hurling 50kg turkey cages to hold the sheet down. He's a big guy, but his technique for super human strength is to yell like those American gladiator wrestler hunks on TV. Pretty incredible. And today he was yelling like a bear A LOT. So in this wind I run to the pile and throw my body onto the corner he gives me! It was a violent snow storm of wood dust that stuck to my eyeballs and gagged in my throat. In all the activity all I could think about was whether I would suffocate in it, or fall off the mound cos I couldn't see. I imagined my eyes full clogged with the ghastly stuff. But we kept fighting. The tarp kept coming off. We kept fighting. He even got the tractor to dump the turkey trays on as high as he could. I mean, come on, it was just WOOD DUST, but it felt like gold going down the toilet. Or a fire in the village! My body said EMERGENCY! Fight! Exhilaration! Joy too! Exhaustion too! Eventually the wind won and we threw in the towel. We let the wind make love to whatever it damn well wanted to, today it had the hots for wood shavings and plastic tarpaulins. The $1000 shavings blew and swirled gleefully away. Maybe half will be gone tomorrow. Now if we had $10,000 we could build a shed JUST FOR woodshavings.

Tonight my eyes are red, theres a few pieces of chopped up trees still hiding beneath my lids, ouch, grumble grumble. I think the forests got their revenge! My karma for using paper!

Written during a 2 month winter apprenticeship at a farm near Edmonton AB