Spark in Darkness

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia Bad News List

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:07:00 +0000

It has been a long time since I last did a Bad News Round Up. They’re draining. Aside from the work of compiling, the litany is just damn depressing and I’m not always in the headspace to handle them

But, with today being the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, I am venturing back to them because I do think they’re important, for all the reasons I’ve said before. It’s important to link the hatred to the violence. It is important to realise these aren’t isolated incidents or that the bigotry is in the past.

In short, it is important to remember why we have to keep fighting.

"Choice" is not a simple answer

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 12 May 2013 21:34:00 +0000

At some point among various members of various activist movements, choice became the last word, the finishing line, the end of any argument.

And you can see why. For so many marginalised people for so much of history the very concept of agency has been alien. Choosing a way to live, choosing what you do with their lives, choosing just about anything has been constantly denied both overtly and covertly. Choice was – and in many ways, still is a luxury that too many marginalised people can’t afford. Either there are people directly controlling what marginalised people can or cannot do, severe and even violent consequences to marginalised people exercising those choices. Even without overt prohibition, there are more hurdles and road blocks – discrimination, prejudice, sometimes even legally, that denies you access to what you want to do or just makes it that much harder or simply a system that is set up to benefit people that just aren’t you

Marginalised people also come under a lot of policing as well. Shame from the privileged society that expects marginalised people to fit various roles or harsh judgement when we do not reach often impossible standards. Shame from within the community for not being the model minority and “making us look bad.” Shame from within the community for not fitting some ideal of what we should be, not liking what we should like, not fighting how we should fight. Shame from within that we fear we may be “doing it wrong”, fear that we’re being too stereotypical or fear that we’re being (horror of horrors!) “assimilationist!”

So, it’s no surprise that agency is vital, that choice is vital, that being able to live our own lives is vital to the point of becoming an untouchable icon to many.

But that doesn’t make choices the last word. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t examine the reasons behind choices, the forces that affect choices and, ultimately, what those choices mean and how much “agency” is truly represented by these choices.

To take it to one of its bluntest, harshest extremes – a gay kid brought up in a homophobic household who kills themselves because they can’t stand to live with themselves is making a choice.

No way am I taking that choice as the last word, or dismissing criticism of this choice as simple an expression of his agency. The kid has been attacked by homophobia all his life, filled with shame and self-hatred and toxic bigotry and we must look at his tragic “choice” through that lens

This is an extreme, but the same applies to so many of our choices. How often do we write post after post about how media representations hurt marginalised people, how erasure hurts marginalised people, how hate speech is toxic to marginalised people, how casual dehumanising speech hurts marginalised people and erodes their self-worth? How many studies do we have to see about the damage of casual dehumanisation and the pushing of internalised prejudice? And then we suddenly decide that all of that no longer applies to our decision making.

Random Annoying Work Foolishness

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Thu, 09 May 2013 14:15:00 +0000

I am tired and worn from the fallout of sheer bullshit that happened last week.

We had a case, it was long, it was complex and it was clearly going to be something that wasn’t going to get resolved for many many months. Fair enough and the customers were moderately decent people all things considered and only making it a little harder than it had to be. But they moved, to Birmingham, and since we’d only started what promised to be a long haul process all parties decided it would be better for them to find a firm in Brummie land.

Case leaves my hands and is passed on to Arsehole the paralegal to work with said Brummie firm, to transfer various things that need transferring, get any local documents or resources or information, ensure copies are certified et al.

And it’s out of my hands. Completely.

In fact more than completely because we need a little history for Paralegal Arsehole here

I’ve mentioned him in passing in the past, he’s the nephew of Senior Partner #2. We hired him because he had this very important qualification of being a relative of the boss; we certainly didn’t need another paralegal.

Paralegal Arsehole is a man of devout religious beliefs and oft-expressed Views about gay people. Sparky is a man of firm personal belief that he doesn’t have to tolerate that shit at work, especially not from a talentless new hire who’s only in the firm because Aunty Dearest threw him a pity job and is firmly of the opinion that This Will Stop. Not “or else” because there isn’t an or – this will not happen.

After much flapping and pleas for “understanding” and “different opinions” and “tolerant work place” (try to imagine my “you’re lawyers, you know what bullshit you’re saying, don’t make me spell it out” glare) SP#2 decided it would be great if we just AVOIDED each other. Because we are 5 and on the playground it seems. I think she just didn’t want to tell her brother she sacked his son because he’s a bigoted little freak who wouldn’t know what professionalism was if it slapped him across the face and he needs his toys taking away because he doesn’t play well with others.

On the Nigel Evans arrest

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 05 May 2013 15:59:00 +0000

Nigel Evans, MP, has been arrested for the alleged rape of 2 men.

And, yes, he’s openly gay.

And lo, the hot mess begins. And let there be a lot of “can you not…” right now.

Can we not have the simplistic assumptions we so often see that completely ignore the history of gay men being accused of sexual assault

At the same time, can we not have people who are usually so very sure that blaming the victim and assuming sexual assault victims are lying is deeply wrong suddenly deciding to throw that out the window when gay men may be the victims.

Can we not have any attempts to try and make sweeping statements about all of us on the basis of this. Another vomit-worthy repeat of the “gay men have a culture and tradition of preying on young men and boys” is really not needed. Especially if you’re not actually a gay or bisexual man in which case you don’t know nearly as much about our “culture” as you think you do and can take your nose out before deciding to paint us as sex offenders. Or making being a sex predator a “tradition” for gay men, because that was some evil messed up shit.

Can we not have people handwringing about how this is hurting all gay men. Because it isn’t – the thing hurting gay and bi men is the collective responsibility straight people – and others sometimes as was evident during the Clash scandal – like to dump on all of us. We are not responsible and only people who do not see us as fully people, as individuals or people who are looking for an excuse to attack us will attack all of us based on one man’s actions. That is what will hurt us. By saying this crime will hurt all of us is accepting that we hold collective responsibility rather than attacking the sweeping bigotries perpetuated against us.

Can we not have a full biography of how gay he is every time this is reported? Is it relevant when he came out? Is there a reason to write articles that at least half about his sexuality? We don't do this with straight people.

I feel a headache coming on already.

And while we're at it - not he isn't a GBLT activist. The man was a closeted homophobe with a dire voting record against our rights who came out seconds before he was outed and then tried to spin it the other way.

Coming Out Matters

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Fri, 03 May 2013 12:48:00 +0000

So another famous person comes out of the closet and there are many reactions. Some of which are great, some of which are awful for obvious reasons, some of which are awful for less obvious reasons – and there’s one that always annoys me: someone who wants to know what the fuss is about

This comes from two sources. Either the homophobe who finds all this GBLT stuff so very icky and would rather we hide it and not be so open and icky everywhere. Or the oh-so-progressive ally who wants to show just how NORMAL being GBLT is to them that they don’t understand why anyone cannot be so totally blasé about the whole GBLT thing, why they’re surrounded by GBLT people, have a full stable of GBLT friends and barely even notice sexuality or gender identity any more, they’re just so enlightened, precious.

I’m sure we’ve seen the lines:

“Why is everyone making so much of a fuss?” “Why is it relevant?” “It shouldn’t matter whether people are GBLT or not”

No, it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t be a big fuss. We should live in a world where a full range of sexualities and gender identities are fully accepted and integrated into our daily lives. We should live in a world where straightness and cisness isn’t assumed. We should live in a world where we could go into any industry, any element of the media, every place where human beings live anywhere on Earth and be confident in finding a full range of sexualities and gender identities happily part of society as full and equal participants.

We should also live in a world without people starving to death, people dying from diseases that can easily be cured and one without Tories, Tea Partiers and the alien creature on Donald Trump’s head that’s feeding on his brain. We should also live in a world where I didn’t see a picture yesterday of a gay teen who was starved, beaten, had his arms broken and was forced to eat faeces before he died.

We don’t live in this world, alas. We live in this world. The real world – yes it’s a very unpleasant place but it’s discouraged to take more than brief holidays away from it.

In the real world there are vast swathes of just about every aspects of life where we don’t exist at all. Entire media forms where we’re less common than an honest man in the Houses of Parliament or a decent man in the Vatican. And like seeing a penguin waddling through the Sahara, seeing a GBLT person in these places is noteworthy and unusual.

The Value of Silence

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 14:46:00 +0000

Today I’m going to talk about the value of silence

Yes, privileged folks, flock around, I be SILENCING YOU, oh how very mean! How very mean indeed! Please clutch your fee-fees and form an orderly queue to tell us how oppressed and persecuted you are.

Except not, of course, because minorities don’t really have the institutional power to actually silence people; so instead I’ll settle praising silence.

Because sometimes silence is, indeed, golden. It’s precious and it’s something we should value. And that’s hard to do – it’s even harder to say or advocate. That spectre of “silencing” will raise it’s ugly head. We live in a time in many places where “freedom of speech” is squealed so often (and so inaccurately) it no longer has meaning; “censorship” is howled whenever anyone refuses to offer a platform or dares to criticise what is said. With the internet, we have even more chances to speak and be heard - in many ways and in many places we truly do have a thousand voices all speaking at once.

Such a shame that 950 of them are speaking such bullshit.

So eager are people, especially the privileged who are so used to dominating discussions, to protect their right to speak that they often don’t question whether they actually have anything relevant to say – or the standing to speak in a discussion and rarely does this matter more than when we are talking about marginalised people where privileged people truly do need to learn the value of silence.

It should go without saying the most basic of silences – we don’t need you to speak for us and GBLT voices should be the ones raised to speak about GBLT people. That doesn’t mean never speak up, don’t oppose bigotry and don’t support us. But it means you aren’t the spokespeople, you aren’t the experts. You shouldn’t be the ones writing books on what slurs mean, or what it means to be GBLT, what it’s like to live as one of us or what it’s like to face homophobia or transphobia. You shouldn’t be the spokesperson at the conference or the convention, you shouldn’t be the “expert” called upon and straight people shouldn’t be the primary source when trying to learn about GBLT people. You certainly shouldn’t be posing as us and passing yourself off as “authentic”.

Some discussions do not need your opinions. If a group of GBLT people are discussing something – maybe their priorities, or focus of their attention, maybe their opinion on the actions of another GBLT person and their activism, maybe the use of various terminology or any number of discussions or arguments we could be having – then we don’t need your opinion or input. Really. You do not have the insight to enter the conversation, the lived experience to have and knowledgeable contribution. It would be like me running up to Steven Hawking and giving him my not-even-remotely-learned opinion on quantum physics (or, for that matter, any physics). Why should he listen to my ignorant drivel? Most sensible people would say he shouldn’t. So why should we listen to yours? Especially if you’re entering our ongoing discussion.

This is especially true of in-house discussions, every marginalised group has issues that they’re hashing out and debating, where there are strong differences of opinion and even internal strife. Why are you stepping into that? Why are you inserting yourself into a family discussion? What do you honestly think you can add here? It is the height of arrogance to insert yourself here! Some things don’t involve you, some things are too complex for an outsider’s opinion to have relevance .

Meningitis is not an STD

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:28:00 +0000

I’m far from a doctor or any kind of health expert, but there’s something I think we can all do with having confirmed now – meningitis is not an STD. This seems to be confusing some people.

Yes, several gay men have caught meningitis in New York. That doesn’t make it an STD. Bacteria that cause Meningitis can be spread through coughing, sneezing etc – amazingly enough, gay men can actually catch diseases doing things other than fucking. Amazingly enough, gay men do actually meet other gay men for reasons other than having sex. We have social spots, networks, sports teams, even games nights – yes the gaymers are out there.

Of course any community that meets together has a chance of spreading an illness that spreads through close proximity. This is one of the reasons why meningitis scares – in the UK at least – tend to arise in sixth forms and colleges and schools. But no-one instantly breaks out the safe sex messages then.

For that matter, no-one decides that a meningitis outbreak in a school in New York is connected to one in Los Angeles either. But through gay men in the mix and it must be connected. What, do all gay men in the US gather for a grand convention or something?

Let’s be clear – whether you are sexually active or not has NOTHING to do with whether you are going to catch the bacteria that cause meningitis. Whether you use Grindr or other hookup sites is irrelevant. You can potentially catch the bacteria that could lead to meningitis by being close to someone else with those bacteria. All those headlines about being careful if you’re “sexually active” or that anonymous sex is causing the disease are outright lying.

Under Siege!

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:55:00 +0000

Trying to get an even keel and settle I spend the whole day with Beloved trying to find some kind of balance in my brain. When there’s a knock at my door.

Now, controversial it may be, but I have absolutely no compunction about call screening or not answering my door when I’m not up to it. And after some Unfortunate Incidents, people don’t get keys to my house any more, no no they do not.

So I was quite content in ignoring this banging when we heard yelled:

“I know you’re in there.”

There was a pause while we both considered who this could be and how irritating the visit could be. When we heard:

“If you don’t answer I will lay siege to this place! I shall tumble the walls and salt the earth to the sound of gnashing teeth and the lamentations of your women!”

Ah F. Yes it could only be F. You can’t ignore F. F won’t be ignored. Ever.

Beloved: F, I don’t think we have any women to do any lamenting.

F: What, Sparky wouldn’t be able to cook for me. That would make me lament!

Beloved: Does that make you our women?

F: I tend to think of myself more as a wench. Don’t you think I’m an excellent wench?

(someone outside answers)

Beloved: F… are you asking out neighbours to rate your wenchiness?

F: Your next door neighbour thinks I’m a Grade A wench I’ll have you know!

Sparky: ye gods, let her in before we have to move.

Alas, even the Awesome Wenchiness (her words) can't work miracle cures, but at least extreme emotions are not without basis with her around.

Random Brain Chemistry is Random

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:16:00 +0000

I’ve had a couple of days of pure bad-brain based emotional roller coaster. Incredible highs of glee for no damn good reason, followed by epic crashes of the darkest, bleakest depression imaginable – again, for no damn good reason. Random laughter, random tears, random rages – it’s exhausting and ridiculous and so damn embarrassing. I need to poke my doc because this is unliveable, I’m not fit for public. Or private.

The worse thing is that even while the emotional brain is swopping around like a humming bird on crack, my logic brain is sat there screaming at me that none of it makes sense, the emotions don’t make sense, just ignore them, ignore them – WHY CAN’T YOU IGNORE THEM YOU SILLY CRAZY PERSON!?!

And it’s beyond humiliating not being able to because I feel like someone sent down to central casting for a crazed Malkavian and I showed up as a perfect match. That’s just embarrassing. Beloved has been in full mad person management mode which must be exhausting.

I used to be much better at handling the epic mood swings, I’m pretty sure (actually, Beloved tells me I really really wasn’t – but self-delusion is all). I think a combination of the truly irritated logic brain and sheer embarrassment is helping ride the waves a little more.

At least one advantage is that Beloved knows his way around my bad brain chemistry and isn’t trying to calm down the hypers or cheer up the sads and we have our old pattern of “oh look you appear to be having a bugnuts moment, let’s pretend it isn’t happening until it passes, or ruefully acknowledge it in a vaguely embarrassed way” kind of like if someone’s flies were undone or they had spinach in their teeth.

I’m quite sure therapy blokey won’t endorse that as a coping mechanism.

Put this down as reason #90796 that I need my pills, I guess. It is pretty cheap entertainment though - after all, how can you be bored like this?

Thatcher's Funeral

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:13:00 +0000

With her now being buried I hope we can leave behind the endlessly revolting Thatcher praise.

People think it’s respectful or honourable to praise this woman? To talk about her “accomplishments”? I say all of you spit on the graves of her victims, there’s some disrespect for the dead for you

Under brutal, tyrannical regimes across the planet people suffered and died – Pol Pot, Pinochet, Apartheid South Africa, Saddam Hussein, Suherto – these are Thatcher’s friends and allies, these are the people she propped up. These are the people you praise and fawn over. The graves of their victims are the ones you spit on

Under her, industries were sold off, British manufacturing was gutted and private owners become obscenely rich as they were given away for a fraction of their real value. Vast amounts of the property of the commons entered private hands and they paid peppercorns for these freebies. But it’s those on welfare we demonise, not these rich people and their hand outs

The right to unionise, the right to collective bargaining was gutted under her regime as she devastated communities – especially the poorest and the most vulnerable in the country. Communities today are still in ruins, poverty has become accepted and stuck for generations and with each year they continue to take the worst of the cuts and “austerity.” Rarely has the North/South divide yawned wider – or have Wales, Scotland and Ireland had greater reason to loathe Westminster then when Maggie Iron Fist was in command.

Her blatantly racist policies and policing lead to riots in Brixton, Toxteth and Handsworth; inflamed by anti-immigration scapegoating that continues to this day, and Thatcher’s racist sus laws POC took to the streets in fury.

Her gross homophobia was enshrined not just in policy that made the police an enemy of GBLT people to this day, but was firmly ensconced in law. Section 28, perhaps the most reviled legislation for GBLT people ever produced in the UK, prevented any school or public body from saying anything positive about GBLT people. We were banned from the public sphere unless it was to insult and denigrate us, driven instead to the knife, the noose and the medicine cabinet to end our isolation and despair. While you cry over Thatcher’s coffin, picture the gay kids hanging over it.

Her culture of privatisation and deregulation set the stage for all the crises to come – including our current recession that has Thatcher’s bloody hand print all over it. It wasn’t just her rule that left us scarred and hurting, but her cultural shift ensured that the pain would continue to this day

And today the government continues in the same path. Privatisation of schools, gutting of the NHS, gutting of legal aid, removing any pretence of having any kind of help or safety net for the most vulnerable. Cutting taxes for the richest in society while raising regressive taxes like VAT. Slashing money to councils then complaining because essential services collapse throwing the poorest to the wolves. Introducing the bedroom tax while fighting to reduce capital gains tax from their mansions. Introducing benefit caps but never looking at the stagnating minimum wage or the skyrocketing prices of rent. Demonising the unemployed while never considering that the majority of those on benefit are EMPLOYED by we don’t expect the rich employers to pay a liveable wage. Disabled people made to crawl for every penny they need to survive while the rich are given free reign in tax havens

So watch the funeral, the massive funeral that we’re paying £10,000,000 and more for while the poorest in society are mocked for having to live on £50 a week. Watch this expensive boondoggle for a woman who hated every penny the public purse spent on people actually deserving, organised by Cameron and Osbourne who want children to starve and the disabled to find miracle cures. Watch the Bishop of London chide that this isn’t the day for politics – while praising her political legacy that buried so many from a pulpit where he tries to influence our laws for the continue disenfranchisement of vulnerable people in society. Watch Osbourne cry his tears when days ago he was callously exploiting the brutal murders for small children in an attempt to grind his boot further into the necks of the poorest in the country. Watch Cameron speak about how great Thatcher was while he continues her work of ensuring everything Great about Britain is destroyed.

This is Thatcher’s legacy. This is the woman we bury today. So bury her, salt the earth and install the floor for us to dance on her grave – or, if you must, hold silent. But your demands for “respect” and “silence” spits on the graves of those she killed. Your glowing praise paints over the blood spattered. And for every crocodile tear you squeeze out for this woman, an ocean of grief was already sobbed by her victims.

Memes that get on my last nerve

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 12:11:00 +0000

So, being on twitter and generally avoiding facebook, I generally get to see a lot of memes that have lots of pithy information in a short phrase. Some of them really work, are really witty and really clever.

And some of them set my teeth on edge. These are some that get on my last nerve

Everyone is Born/Inherently Bisexual

I get it, the idea that there are a lot of people with minor or even major attractions to the same sex but also have attraction to the opposite and so ignore the former is definitely a possible.

But while there is certainly a lot of question as to exactly how many people there are out there who are various degrees of bi or pansexual, everyone is not bisexual and doing so creates an erasure that is every bit as unacceptable and annoying as prevalent bi-erasure. Aside from anything else, combatting bi-erasure with the idea that actually everyone is secretly a member of their identity doesn’t strike me as ideal either since it’s another backward form of erasure (after all, if everyone is bi, then why use a word to define anyone as bi?)

As a gay man, I am attracted to men. I am emphatically NOT attracted to women and it’s one of the many many many annoying things that give me headaches when, for some bemusing reason, straight people try to find the one woman somewhere, somehow, in whatever situation that I would willingly have sex with. There isn’t one because I’m gay, not bi.

I’m not Gay as in Happy, I’m Queer as in fuck you

I’m all for us ditching some of the happy. I think we, as a community, have been so desperate for acceptance for so long that we have more than a little problem with fawning over any straight person who is willing to say even remotely nice things about us. Time and again we give headpats and cookies and praise to people who have done sod all and we really need to stop that shit.

I saw over the weekend someone describe the situation as this: Someone breaks into your house, beats you up and steals your shit – then they begin to give you your stuff back slowly, item by item. Do you say thank you and praise them?

This is the situation of GBLTQ rights and it’s something I’ve said before. We are not being given or awarded our rights. Our rights are being wrongly denied, not generously given.

So I’m all for some anger. We definitely need some more anger, some more of that fuck you, which I certainly have. I am angry, I am furious – and I am gay.

GBLT Characters on Supernatural

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 18:35:00 +0000

Supernatural is one of the longest running shows we follow; the Winchester brothers have been fighting against demons, vampires, werewolves, angry spirits, angels and anything else you can imagine for an incredible 9 years, 8 seasons (and a 9th season has already been planned) and a massive 168 episodes and counting.

That’s a long time and in that time we’ve had an amazing number of people hang around with the Winchesters. We’ve had monsters galore, victims in spades, people to protect and shelter, the occasional love interest, allies occasionally and, pretty rarely, the odd friend who has joined them in their struggle.

But such a lengthy presence on our screens makes it easy to see patterns of representation - and erasure. Any show that lasts this long and, because of that, has a great many characters is going to be more heavily criticised for it’s erasure than a shorter lived on. After all, a single season show with a small cast of 3 characters and less than a dozen extras is going to have less scope for inclusion or developing numerous minority characters - not that it makes the erasure tolerable by any stretch - but when you have 168 episodes and a gazillion people with which to present some decent diversity and you still fail? That’s almost willful.

Supernatural is not diverse on any real front - throughout its run the majority of the regularly recurring characters have, by far, been cis, straight, white men: Sam, Dean, Bobby, Castiel, Crowley - even Garth. We have a few women, but most of them are dead. Kevin has tried to shift some POC into the line-up by reading feverishly in a boat and Bobby was, briefly, disabled before he was magically cured when it became too awkward, but you can hardly say the show has made more than a token attempt at inclusion.

When it comes to GBLT characters, the pickings have been slim; we have a very very few gay characters and no trans characters. The very first was a lesbian who appeared in Season 2, Episode 21 All Hell Breaks Loose, she was one of the demon children, along with Sam and she accidentally used her power to kill her girlfriend (behold, the dangers of gay sexuality!) After that, she is brutally murdered; the first to die to get her out of the way (no, that doesn’t count as a spoiler. It’s Supernatural and, frankly, a gay person dying is hardly a spoiler in fiction anyway).

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Thatcher is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:14:00 +0000

I couldn't stand the woman, I still can't. I'm not even going to pretend to be sad that she's dead, being Northern, Working Class, Gay and a child of the 80s, my loathing is the stuff of legends.

I'm not going to say nice things about her because she's finally kicked the bucket. There are no nice things to say about her. And it's an insult to her victims to pretend she was even close to a decent human being .

We cannot allow her legacy to be whitewashed, we cannot let the pain she caused be forgotten in a wave nostalgia and Tory rewriting of history, we cannot let her legacy be cast as anything other than the evil it was. We cannot let a wave of pretend grief backed by an unwillingness to speak ill of the dead to become some kind of endorsement of her policies and her politics.

Margaret Thatcher is dead and she was a person who left this world poorer for her time in it, who brought more pain than joy, who caused more suffering than healing and who left scars that will be generations in the healing. In the future I may pull on my dancing shoes and boogie on top of her grave.

But, for now, I can't put on my dancing shoes because Margaret Thatcher isn't my focus and cannot be. She hasn't been a force in politics for years, despite her evil legacy. I have more rage and fury towards the evil of the present - and Cameron and little Cleggy - than the vileness of the past, even if it still hurts us. Dancing shoes later folks, we need to keep our work boots on because we've got a lot more to do - and a lot more to kick - before we have the time and space to dance on the grave.

Now here's hoping she rises from the crypt and takes out Cameron and Cleggy. Then I'll hold a street party. Failing that, let's hope she was buried at crossroads or her ashes scattered over several bodies of water

(Anyone wringing their hands and worrying about the disrespect for the poor old monster, you might want to save it, because we will mock you. Yes yes we will)

Took a Peaceful Holiday

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 11:55:00 +0000

I’ve been absent over Easter, that’s pretty much been intentional on my part. Not just because I like to do my own ceremonies in private, but also because this is not a holiday I enjoy and certainly not a holiday I feel comfortable sticking my head over the trenches for.

Like many religious holidays, this is one where you can guarantee that the media is going to stick some microphones in front of a priest/vicar/bishop/other holy bloke and then repeat/reprint his words for the entire nation

The holy words of holy blokes are generally pretty hateful. The organised churches of this country (and the vast majority of the world) have made no secret of the fact they’d rather I drop dead tomorrow and never miss a chance to launch another attack against us whenever more publicity comes their way. Whatever messages apply to whatever holidays, the one that is repeated on all of them is that their god loathes GBLT people.

After years of hateful holy rhetoric that has only intensified as we fight for legal equality, I’m running on empty. Faced with a holiday of trying to play dodge-the-Christian on TV, the internet and more I decided to opt out of all of them as much as I am able and had a few days of silence, not answering the phone and not speaking to people. I particularly clung to Saturday where I went all day seeing and speaking to only GBLT people – I had knots untense in my muscles I never even knew I had.

The problem I’ve found is, especially in the people around me and in my family, that Easter is one of those holidays where nominal Christians suddenly remember Christianity and put on 8 new layers of temporary religious gestures – and end up saying, supporting and doing shit that offends, angers, worries or scares me.

And, the sad thing is, overt displays of Abrahamic religions already worry and frighten me; I often regard them the same way I would bright colourful markings on a snake or hornet – be warned, here lies something that wants to fuck you up most royally. It’s become a reflexive flinch and doesn’t make for a quiet or easy time of life when there are religious holidays about and someone’s dug Lord Carey from the pit, AGAIN. C’mon isn’t there a limit to how many times you can raise the same zombie? Someone check the Monster Manual.

So, I stayed in, I battened down the hatches and I relaxxxxxxxxxxxxxed. It reminds me how many months it’s been since I last had peace, I may have to do this more often.

Achieving Equality: Difficult but Simple Victories and Long, Complex Wars

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:27:00 +0000

There are increasing movements forwards with legislative battles with our rights – a new trans bill in Canada, marriage equality in Britain, France and various parts of the US, municipal anti-discrimination laws in various cities and even a battle in the Ukraine which was rather surprising. Of course, it’s not all going forwards everywhere, far from it, but there’s a lot of excitement.

There’s also a sense that “zomg we’ve nearly won” primarily from straight allies, coupled with a sense of “the GBLT rights movement has moved so quickly!”

I have to burst the bubble on both. Starting, perversely with the second one.

The whole idea of “the GBLT rights movement has moved so quickly” is based on that pervasive myth that we only appeared in 1960 and that the first piece of GBLT activism was Stonewall. Both of which are wrong. GBLT people have existed as long as people have existed – and we have been fighting for centuries. The first attempted same-sex marriage in the UK happened in 1680 and Molly houses were a fixture of the 19^th century. France decriminalised “sodomy” after the revolution, Germany had, in the 1920s a vast amount of pro-GBLT activism

And this is from a frankly extremely amateur view of history since I make no claims of being a historian. But even the most cursory search finds not only our existence the earliest times but a centuries old battle against persecution. To call the GBLT rights movement a young or a new movement is to spit in the face of these people who fought – and who died – and who straight history has long forgotten. We have not moved quickly, it has been a long slow fight that has been denied so long that it’s only recent victories for basic LEGAL PROTECTIONS that have finally accelerated.

Now addressing the first point. Winning these battles means we win the SIMPLE part – and not close to being done. The COMPLICATED is, in many ways, only just beginning.

Firstly, let’s be clear that SIMPLE doesn’t mean EASY, nor does it mean UNIMPORTANT. It means we know pretty much exactly what to do and, in many ways, how. I know how to walk to London. One foot in front of the other isn’t complex. Walking that distance in this weather would be arduous, painful and an incredible feat – Simple but difficult.

And achieving equality under law: Hate crimes protection, anti-discrimination protection, marriage equality – are extremely difficult, powerful achievements – and they’re simple. Simple because we know exactly what has to be done – the law has to change and we know how that is done. Difficult to do, but simple in terms of process

And important because these form not only essential tools, but also a foundation. It’s an impossibly powerful message of inequality when the laws treat us as lesser citizens; it’s a loud message. It’s hard to get people to listen to you demanding acceptance, respect and challenging hate when the law of the land is roaring “ACTUALLY! HATE THESE FOLKS! HATRED IS FINE! TOTALLY LESS THAN YOU! LESSER CITIZENS! ACCEPTABLE TARGETS, GET THEM HERE!” It’s a foundation and without it, building anything is going to be shaky

Too Tired Too Cook, Too Afraid to Let Beloved Cook

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:33:00 +0000

Being under the weather I couldn’t face cooking – odd I’m not nauseous or not hungry, but I am hellaciously exhausted.

Which is a problem – because there’s WANTING to eat, yet not being able to cook and facing… Beloved’s offer to cook instead.

There follows the sudden moment when I desperately try to think of what is in the freezer – surely there must be something ready made? Something I’ve already cooked that Beloved just needs to defrost and warm up? Something he can’t ruin too much? Maybe…

It’s like a scene from a horror movie where the protagonist is desperately trying to remember if they’ve locked all the doors, or think of a way out or where there’s a weapon and in a panic they just can’t remember and the monster – the horrific ghastly monster – is just getting closer!

And I have to remember exactly what I’ve frozen – I mean, I know I HAVE frozen meals because I always do… but if I say “yes I fancy lasagne” and it turns out that I haven’t frozen a lasagne, Beloved will then attempt to make a lasagne. The very idea makes me want to cower in terror.

I could say “go see what I’ve frozen because you cannot cook and will kill us all if you try!” but then he will INSIST on cooking to prove that he CAN cook and then he will EAT whatever he cooks and declare it delicious even though it’s a complete and utter lie and the toxic slop can’t even be fed to the cat without us being arrested for animal cruelty. Then I go without food and have to put up with Beloved making himself ill.

So I declare I will cook. A creative lie helps allay suspicion – cooking helps me relax, cooking will take my mind off things, cooking will be good for me! Ha - better for me than poisoning at any rate

Except exhaustion means I don’t do the sensible thing and go rooting in the freezer early enough to defrost and I eventually roll into the kitchen only when too hungry to do anything else (and Beloved was making threatening moves in that direction).

I could have ordered take away, but Beloved lived on it while we were away and looked faintly green at the suggestion.

So… cheese. Screw it, cheese, crackers, fruit and bread (that which is still fresh). We always have immense amounts of cheese lurking in the bottom of the fridge, in the salad crisper to make sure anything green and leafy and healthy is aware that this is a calorie loving household and not to get too comfortable.

Ok not the most involved of meals but we love cheese and eating up some of the vast stock isn’t a bad thing. Except... the brie

I don’t know where this brie comes from but we always have this massive wheel of brie. Now I’m not against brie, we both quite like brie. A little brie now and then is a good thing. A little – so why do we always have this huge great wheel of cheese that could feed half of France? I would accuse Beloved but I can’t see him getting enthusiastic enough about brie to buy this – if it were cheddar or wensleydale, yes – but not brie. Maybe we have a crafty cheesemonger who can manipulate him into inundating us with unwanted French cheese? Beloved swears it’s not him and I know it’s not me – so if no-one is buying brie where does it keep coming from? Do we have a secret brie mine? The brie elves visit? Or maybe it’s breeding….

Then there’s the eternal stilton. Now this, I do know where the Eternal Stilton comes from. My uncle – who has given us out own bodyweight in stilton every damn Christmas ever. He does the same with everyone, I don’t think he has ever given anyone a gift that wasn’t a metric fuckton of stilton. His kids first birthday? Stilton. Wife’s anniversary? Stilton. Daughter’s wedding? Stilton! I think he must have shares in the dairy.

Sure it’s nice in a few recipes – but how much strong blue cheese can you just eat? It’s not like you can put it in sandwiches!

Even if we liked stilton, this package is too much. No-one likes stilton this much. It’s not actually possible to like stilton this much. Eating this much stilton would actually kill someone. It doesn’t help that it’s in a ceramic container so doesn’t rot and reach a point where it can be thrown away – especially since, as it’s blue cheese, it doesn’t really go off anyway

But it does get more… pungent. It is now locked in its little ceramic box and… we dare not open it. And if we dare not open it, we cannot check it to see if it is time to throw it away. But the ceramic lid fits really tightly. It’s sealed, I think.

So it remains, in the cheese drawer. Tightly sealed. Watching. Waiting. One day it plans to escape.

And then may the gods have mercy on us all.

Expect Lots of Whining!

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:19:00 +0000

Been away several days and lo not slept for one of them. It seems I can't sleep alone any more.

Now that? That sounds all romantic and twee. Awww cannot sleep without the man I love, awwwww, how lovely, hearts and flowers and rainbows sweet sacchirine crap.

It is not! It means I am dependent on another person to have a good night's sleep (always an unlikely event anyway). Another person who persists in sleeping deeply whenever I have insomnia (regularly. And, yes he does it on purpose). Another person who MOVES during the night. Seriously, how can anyone sleep so deeply yet still explore every damn corner of the bed with flailing limbs at the same time?

Y'know, I should have been looking forward to several days of deep, restful sleep without the elbow-jabbing, blocked-drain-snoring, Everest-climbing, selfishly-having-good-sleep-while-I'm-wide-awake sleep monster next to me! But noooooo I am cursed to NOT be able to sleep in peaceful, blessed solitude; I'm now dependent on the sleep demon and his annoying "oh you're wide awake at 4:00am? Let me sleep like a blissfully, well rested saint next to you and mock you with my perfect circadian rhythms! AHA!"

Beloved accuses me of stealing the romance from things at times. The well rested are not allowed an opinion. Also, I can too blame him for his perfect circadian rhythms.

Of course, my diva immune system being what it is - absolutely impenetrable if its every whim is catered to, but go a couple of days with irregular food and sleep habits and it strops off in a huffy - I now have the lurgy. of course, this could be due to whatever evil poisons Beloved has brewed in the kitchen while I've been gone (he claims he did all the cooking. The pizza boxes in the bin tell me he's a liar, a dirty, rotten lying liar who lies. But still, he probably made sandwiches in there and, yes, he can create a disaster with a sandwich).

I, of course, blame Beloved for the lurginess. He claims it's love withdrawal. I am threatening to spread the love - and am most eager to do so, if he stands still long enough for me to breath on him.

Of course, being ill, you can expect me to handle this with my usual stoicism and enduring fortitude. Let the whining commence!

So there's a new Pope

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:26:00 +0000

There are apparent differences about him in that this Pope seems to have been something of an ascetic as a cardinal – in as much as a cardinal tends to be. And he apparently has a record that isn’t awful when it comes to poverty issues.

This has lead an inordinate amount of people to praise his “social justice” dedication and “man with a conscience”

Yeah, let me side-eye you all for that.

As can be expected from that most bigoted of institutions, the Catholic church, the new Papa Nazi is just as nasty as the last one. He actually calls gay folks satanic and our families “discrimination against children”. He’s anti-choice, anti-contraception, anti-GBLT. All of the standard bigoted bullshit. And I have no time for anyone beginning with “yes he’s a homophobic misogynist… but” my tolerance of papal apologists is exhausted. And don't tell me he's passionate for the poor and marginalised if you don't at least have the decency to add "well, so long as they're cis and straight"

Which means I also question the whole dedication to poverty and HIV activism apologists are touting. He wants to help HIV but is against contraception? Yeah sitting there and having REALLY GOOD INTENTIONS while scuppering the greatest tool we have against HIV is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. And poverty? Maybe for straight, cis men – but homophobia and transphobia pushes an inordinate number of GBLT people into poverty. And being able to have control of her own reproductive choices is a not unimportant factor in tackling poverty among women as well. So let’s say what it is – he gives lip service to anti-poverty efforts for certain groups and makes some dramatic gestures like ZOMG TAKING THE BUS! OH THE HUMILITY! He cooks HE actually COOKS FOR HIMSELF! Heavens to Betsy, fetch me the smelling salts I feel quite faint from shock!

As an added bonus this particular Cardinal seems to have been up to his neck in Argentina’s dictatorship. But keep on praising this man’s “conscience”.

All in all, the new pope is going to be much the same as the old pope. A rather evil man, supporting a lot of painful cruelty and bigotry but given a vast amount of influence in the world because 1.2 billion Catholics are willing to empower him and the damage he causes.

ETA: And yes, I'm still calling him Papa Nazi. I never called Benedict Papa Nazi because of his Hitler youth membership - accusations I considered unfair - but because of the Catholic church's policies which are nothing short of genocidal. It is current policy I reference not teenage history

A tragedy

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:28:00 +0000

Wilfried Knight is a gay man who committed suicide (link SFW, other parts of the site less so)

He committed suicide after the death of his husband, also by suicide. They had been together for 9 years.

But, because they’re a transnational couple, even being married, meant there were few counties they could actually live together without one of them deported. They had to fall back to a rather convoluted solution of his partner getting a job in Canada and then Wilfried joining him on a spousal visa. Ridiculous hoops to jump through, but the reality they faced.

And when that job became toxic then fell apart – with severance packages considerably less than a straight couple would have received, and was faced with trying to find a home where they could be together, he committed suicide.

Traumatic and devastating enough for anyone, Wilfriend’s partners family didn’t acknowledge Wilfried. It’s a homophobia that many GBLT people face from their deceased partner’s family, adding an extra kick to the gut in what is already a horrendous time.

Wilfried committed suicide.

This is a tragedy, an evil, cruel tragedy and shows the cost of homophobia destroying lives.

And the relevant issue in all of this? Is not that Wilfried was a porn star, for gods’ sake!

The Queen is NOT mentioning GBLT rights. GBLT people NOT protected by Commonwealth Charter

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 13:52:00 +0000

Now to the news – specifically the grossly overhyped, badly reported and just damn deceptive variety.

The Commonwealth is producing a new Charter on human rights, in particular rejecting discrimination. The Daily Fail reported on it and (shockingly, I know) got it completely wrong. Then a whole load of blogs grabbed it and ran with it – which is ridiculous because their own headlines don’t match the content.

So, let’s parse this down.

Yes, the Queen will sign this charter, she is the head of the Commonwealth after all.

No, she isn’t speaking out on behalf of GBLT rights. The Queen and her handlers are going to continue her 61 year tradition of pretending we don’t exist. This is not changing. She may speak out in favour of the charter, but that doesn’t include us.

Because the charter doesn’t include us. In fact all these reports that this is an amazing step forwards for GBLT rights and the queen is finally, after 61 years of silence, going to address GBLT people are laughably wrong. Well, it would be laughable if it weren’t so annoying and if so many people weren’t so desperate for any kind of affirmation they’d cling to anything.

The charter does address discrimination. Notably:

“We are implacably opposed to all forms of discrimination, whether rooted in gender, race, colour, creed, political belief or other grounds.”

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity are not included. More, the fact they have drawn up a laundry list of gender, race, colour, creed and political belief tells me they’ve consciously and knowingly excluded GBLT people from these protections.

Good Faith

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 19:09:00 +0000

I’m faintly, academically curious about how the same arguments used by privileged people to dismiss nasty complaining marginalised folks keep getting used -and even rebranded. One glorious example is:

INTENT!

You know how this goes? Someone spouts a whole load of bigoted crap as they do so many times over – maybe they’re ignorant, maybe they don’t give a crap, maybe they’re just that overloaded on their own superiority and privilege, maybe they’re malicious – ultimately they’re called out on it and they turn round and say “I didn’t intend that!”

And magically everything’s fixed. Except, not. Unintended bigotry is still bigotry. Something that dehumanises or others marginalised people still does so even if the person producing it is thinking of fluffy kittens and happy unicorns. It doesn’t make a slur any less triggering, a piece any less erasing, a portrayal any less stereotyped or their actions any less dismissive, offensive and othering. Intent as an excuse puts the privileged person’s feelings above the actual harm caused to marginalised people. This is why the watchword for so long has been “Intent isn’t magic.”

Ah, but the forces of privilege aren’t going to give up just because someone has hit them with some common sense (alas, for if they did we’d be in a much better world by now). And even as we continue to fight magical intent, it’s mutated child has crawled onto the scene…

GOOD FAITH!

The Good Faith argument basically says that the person meant well – they had good faith. In other words, it’s the Intent argument for those who know they’re not going to impress anyone by waving the intent banner. But it has the bonus points of being aggressive, not defensive. See, the “Intent” argument is a defence “I didn’t mean that!” while this is an attack “I’m acting in good faith!” with the nasty little implication that the marginalised person challenging them has BAD FAITH. Tuttut.

And you can see that in how it’s used. I’ve seen it used most often as an accusation: “you assumed I was acting in bad faith!” As if whether they’re acting in bad faith or not changes what they did! Just like with intent, your good faith isn’t magical. If you do/say/write something demeaning, dehumanising, stereotyping, othering or erasing marginalised people then that is what you have done/said/write. Your magical Good Faith Fairy won’t buzz around your words and deeds like some kind of Microsoft Paperclip and edit you actions.

And you know what? Damn right I assumed they were acting in bad faith! Why should I assume differently? Why should I ASSUME that any straight person is going to deal with me in good faith? Why should any trans person assume a cis person is acting in good faith? Why should POC assume white people are acting in good faith?

The world has taught us time and again that privileged folks rarely engage with marginalised people in anything like Good Faith. Even when those privileged people think they’re engaging in good faith, so much of it is built on assumptions and societal conditioning and sheer ignorance that they’ve made no effort to challenge – or even realised they had to challenge it – that they don’t even have good faith. Good faith in even addressing issued of prejudice with a marginalised person would have to begin internal challenge and self-education.

pokes inbox

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 19:08:00 +0000

I’m not sure why, but I’m getting more pokes, links and hits on my m/m fiction and slash tag again; I think I’ve been linked somewhere again, I don’t know. Either way, my inbox is getting a definite uptick on stuff related (including an inordinate number of book recommendations, many of which are… questionable to say the least).

Anyway, people are asking opinions (read the tag, I’ve pretty much said everything and don’t see why repeating it will matter) and trying to push me to various discussions. I’m not sure why, maybe because they want my take, maybe because they and their friends want to play ambush or maybe because they want to use me as a weapon in their own personal little grudgematches,.

Look, I really don’t want to join any discussion, debate or musing on slash and/or m/m fiction on any forum or blog or whatever because too much of this whole debate, genre, fandom, category are places I don’t consider safe spaces for gay men. Sure there are some safe spaces out there, but they are the minority and I don’t want to dip my fingers into various pools to figure out which ones have piranhas in them

But if you really think there is a debate, discussion or musing on slash (involving men, rather than femslash or slash involving women) and m/m fiction that you really want to tell me about then please check it against these 2 questions first (these aren’t the only questions I have before I consider a place safe, but these are the first hurdle).

1) Is anyone saying “these are not aimed at gay men” or “these aren’t for gay men” or “these don’t involve gay men” or something similar without being dogpiled with giant ant-eaters?

If so then uckies – that’s objectification right there. Gay and bi men are objects, tools, things to this place, not people in our own right. Objectification is one of dehumanising elements of fetishisation. I’d rather stay away

2) If this is a discussion/debate/busy comment thread, etc does it contain a significant number of gay or bisexual men? If there are a number of people involved discussing this, how many of them are gay or bi men?

If the answer is “none” or “a teeny minority” or “a very small proportion” then I’m going to stay away as well. The idea of genre entirely based around a marginalised identity constantly being analysed by groups of people that exclude (or include a few small tokens) the people being written about is always something I’m deeply uncomfortable about and usually means I don’t want to be anywhere near the place. I generally have the same opinion of any context – if I went to a convention (unlikely but still) and there was a panel on “Writing about X minorities” and the 6 person panel were all from people who aren’t X and the room was overflowing with people who aren’t X, I’d be dubious.

Frankly, I’m unlikely to appreciate any attempts to drag me into any forum or group on the subject because it causes me no shortage of grey hairs – but if a group/discussion/forum/etc fails either of these tests, then I’m doubly unwilling. Not only that, but if you’re pointing me towards such a group without at least a disclaimer then I probably don’t want to discuss m/m fiction and slash with you either.

So Cardinal O'Brien is a raging hypocrite

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 00:25:00 +0000

So Cardinal O’Brien, while viciously and nastily attacking GBLT people and gay rights turns out to have been industriously having it away with any priest he could get his hands on – and several have complained about his sexual harassment and molestation. After trying the Catholic church’s usual tactic in these situations (cover up and intimidation), O’Brien has confessed and stepped down (uh-huh, because that’s the end of the matter? I suppose when it comes to the Catholic church this is harsh treatment of a sex offender).

Much as I pity his victims, I also have to acknowledge that this can only help reduce the power and the influence of the Catholic church and help curb the effect of its constant bigotry against us. Having the viper’s fangs blunted, even a little, is something I am always going to be happy about.

But, and I know I’ve said this before, please can we not play the whole “look, homophobes are gay!” game? It’s tiresome, it’s not helpful, it’s ignorant and it’s migraine-inducing.

Homophobia is, I say again, a product of a straight world, a straight ruled world, a straight dominated world and a world where straight people have repeatedly tried to destroy us and have succeeded in driving most of us into hiding until hiding became the norm and the act of NOT hiding became a major life event. Think about that for a second and let the enormity of it sink in.

So even with this Cardinal being gay or bisexual – just as any other homophobe so revealed – they are not representative of all homophobes or even anything more than a tiny minority of the bigots. It is not closeted gay people who have created this heterosexist and homophobic society. And, ultimately, it is straight people and straight society that forced these people not just into the closet but into the depths of self-loathing as well.

We are not responsible for our own oppression – don’t play that game and don’t let other people play it, it’s only going to come back and bite us on the arse.

And, besides, some of the commentary is outright homophobic - and positively relishing in calling someone they hate “gay”. Frankly, it’s never comfortable seeing people jumping up and down on the opportunity to use gay as an insult – and worse when you take the excuse to use slurs. No, really, no.

This is why I don't leave my kitchen

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 12:59:00 +0000

So, F, she with the emergency appetite, invited Beloved and I to her’s for dinner

Which translates to “come and cook for me in my house”. Because she’s a cheeky so-and-so (not the words I used) like that, she is.

And when I get there I find… meat, diced into rough cubes.

F: *proudly* I already defrosted it.

Sparky: What is it?

F: Beef.

Sparky: I can see that. Would you care to narrow it down beyond “lumps of cow.”

F: Its beef…

Sparky: Gods you sound like him.

Beloved: hey!

Sparky: Fillet, Sirloin, skirt, chuck, silverside, brisket, braising…? Any of this ringing a bell.

F: yes. Maybe.

Sparky: I see. And how would you normally cook this?

F: Apply heat! It turns brown!

Sparky:… quite.

Then she announces someone else is coming – and they don’t like spicy. Or curry. Or any Indian. Or chillies, or pepper or cumin or anything that is even slightly hot. They don’t like garlic, don’t like star anise (which I can agree on), they don’t like paprika (what unnatural being DOESN’T like paprika?) ginger only in tiny amounts and don’t over-do the onion. Seriously, the list of anything with an ounce of flavour this woman doesn’t like went on for so long I can only assume she eats boiled potatoes and yoghurt and lives in terror of ever actually tasting anything.

But it doesn’t stop there – She has no red wine. “I have white.” Uh-huh. That’s nice. She has no cream. She has no stock. NO STOCK! SHE DOESN’T HAVE AN ONION

*record scratch*

How can you NOT have onions? That’s like not having running water. And how does she have a kitchen with galangal, 8 different kinds of peppercorn, 6 different kinds of salt (different kinds of SALT? It’s SALT!) and a full romanesco (the hell is this thing? It’s like some geneticist decided to weaponise cauliflower) but NOT actually have an onion. One onion. Half an onion. Spring onions, a shallot, I’m not proud, anything vaguely allium will do.

This is why I value my kitchen.

To add: She doesn't own a wok. Who has 11 different shades of soy sauce, but no wok? really.

Hatred on the Buses

noreply@blogger.com (Sparky) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:35:00 +0000

Now, it’s possible in the UK you have seen various adverts by Stonewall and other groups saying “Some People Are Gay, Get over it.”

Well, Christian group has tried to put its own homophobic adverts up advocating conversion therapy, especially on London buses. And they’ve been told “no no, ye gods hell no” basically.

And, of course, they’re spitting their dummies out and are now suing to try and force bigotry on display. Because of Christian love and stuff

Ugh, let’s address this bullshit, shall we?

First of all – “freedom of speech” does not mean anyone has to repeat or broadcast the shit you have to say. I could have a long, furious rant about why Cardinal Keith O‘Brien needs feeding feet first into a woodchipper and why Benedict, when he dies, needs to be burned and his ashes scattered over water to make sure he stays down – that doesn’t mean the BBC has to let me say that to the nation or billboards have to accept my adverts for Cardinal Wood Chipping. Similarly, these Christians can have their bigoted beliefs and say bigoted things (within reason – and outside of reason as well - as we’ve seen time and again, anti-gay hate speech is not treated very seriously) but that doesn’t mean the City of London needs to broadcast them.

Secondly, it’s hate speech. The Stonewall ad it copies is encouraging acceptance and denying hate. This is pushing junk science that is used to spread hatred and bigotry. “Ex-gay” therapy and the myth that we can “change” is constantly used as a lying excuse for denying us human rights – up to and including the right to exist. This is the ultimate coded language and it’s blatant hate speech and blatantly wrong. This isn’t a message of reassurance – this is an attack. This is an assault. This is trying to coerce people into hurting us.

Thirdly, it’s bullshit. It’s harmful bullshit that every capable and competent medical body has denied. “Conversion” therapy is harmful, it’s dangerous, it hurts people and it simply doesn’t work. Simple as. Ultimately, advertising “conversion” therapy is as malicious and dangerous as telling people that the cure for diabetes is to eat lots and lots of Mars bars. This isn’t a good analogy - because being gay isn’t a disease and doesn’t need medical intervention in the first place, but it is a point that their proposed “cure” will only hurt people. This is like trying to sell poison as a vitamin

Which, even if you have the morals of a Tory and the ethics of a banker, should be more than enough reason to ban these adverts. They’re WRONG, pure and simple.