Ask just about any young boy what he wants to be when he grows up and the answer will likely involve being an elite athlete – usually football or baseball – or an astronaut.

My youngest son deviates slightly from these typical career ambitions as his dream is to be a professional skateboarder that moonlights as a rock star (or maybe it is the other way around).

However, my oldest son has his sights set on a prosperous career in Major League Baseball and I fully support his dream – although I did tell him he cannot play for the Chicago Cubs. You might think I am joking, but I did plead for him to be traded during Little League Baseball when he was placed on a team named the Cubs.

During my younger days, I had a dream of being a professional football player.

That dream was fueled by the fact that I played football for my Junior High School team as well as my High School team. For a brief period, I was distracted by the dream of being a professional hockey player but quickly came back to my love for playing football.

There was only one problem.

I wasn’t all that good.

Heck, just this past summer I was demoted to the second string in my very own yard playing with the above mentioned kids.

Talk about a dose of reality.

Even though I might not have been very good, and have long since given up the dream of being a professional football player (even though I know that I can tackle better than half the clowns making millions of dollars on the Chicago Bears defense!), that doesn’t mean my passion for football has disappeared.

That might explain my devotion to plunking my rear end down on Sunday morning – after setting my fantasy football lineup of course – to enjoy the selection of games.

Yes, there have been times where I have watched the early game, the late game, and the Sunday night game without much more than bathroom breaks.

No, I have never resorted to breaking out the Depends – don’t ask!

Ever since those days when I played football in school, I have always wanted to get my hands on an Authentic “ProLine” NFL Helmet to wear on game day display in my office. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that players were not allowed to keep their helmets in school, although I do still have the stylish CCM helmet that I wore during my hockey days.

There is just a certain “coolness” factor about having your own NFL helmet.

For those of you fortunate people that still have a team to cheer for in the NFL playoffs, you still have time to get your helmet to wear (there I go again) admire as your team marches towards the Super Bowl.

In case you are wondering, my Super Bowl prediction is the Baltimore Ravens and the Philadelphia Eagles (maybe the throwback helmet is more your style) – with the Ravens walking away with the Vince Lombardi trophy.

As a dad, I believe it is your duty – if not your desire to live vicariously through your children – to support them in their dream to play football (or whatever it is they want to do) when they grow up.

Not many parents will tell you that they hope their child is having intercourse before the age of 16, or that they become pregnant before reaching the age of majority. Likewise, few parents envision their child turning into a physically aggressive adult that lead a life of violence.

So what does that have to do with television and video games?

Well, according to a study in the journal Pediatrics, there is an increased chance of teen pregnancy among children that watch television programs with risky sexual behavior by teens.

According to the study, researchers recruited adolescents aged 12 to 17 and surveyed them three times between 2001 and 2004, asking about television viewing habits, sexual behavior and pregnancy. Among 718 teenagers, there were 91 pregnancies. The adolescents who watched the most sexy television were at double the risk of becoming, or causing, a pregnancy compared to the adolescents watching the fewest such programs.

With regard to video games, another study in the journal indicates that children that play violent video games show an increase in physically aggressive behavior.

Aggressiveness in children is often associated with violence later on in life, meaning violent video games may pose a significant risk to our children. How many violent games do you think the school bully is playing?

Considering the above information, let me ask you a question.

How closely are you monitoring what your children watch and play?

Obviously there is a line that must be drawn, as there is only so much that parents can realistically do to prevent their children from playing violent video games or watching racy television programs.

Are your children permitted to have televisions in their room?

Is access to the Interweb allowed behind closed doors?

What type of video games are they playing?

Do you know what they are doing when over at a friends house?

That last one is a tricky situation, and is part of my motivation in writing this post. Like it or not, different parents have different rules when it comes to what their children can and cannot do. As a parent, it is your job to become acquainted with the parents of your child’s friends and get a feeling for where those boundaries exist in their house.

For instance, we know that one of our oldest son’s friends has very little parental supervision when it comes to the video games that are permitted. This other boy is permitted to play games that have an “M” rating.

Sorry, that doesn’t fly in our house.

Since we cannot control what takes place at a friends house, we have learned that there are some friends that are welcome to come to our house and play, but our kids will not be permitted to play at the friends house due to rules that we are not comfortable with.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one that believes that video games or sexual television programs are to blame for the problematic behavior of children.

Actually, I believe that the children playing these games and watching these programs have a larger problem – parents that are not involved in their lives.

Talk to your children.

Explain things to them when they have questions.

Be involved in their lives; set rules and boundaries with regard to what is acceptable.

These are the things that I believe will have a far greater impact on your child, as they will then have a better understanding of the consequences surrounding things like violent video games or television programs that push the envelope.

Turn the other cheek.

Walk away.

Don’t stoop to their level.

The above statements are often offered as advice on how a child should deal with a bully at school.

Unfortunately, many school bullies are not thwarted by any of these actions and sometimes will continue to escalate their behavior to illicit a response from the child being bullied.

Over the last few weeks, my wife and I have experienced this first-hand as our oldest son has been dealing with a bully at school.

Our son was being pushed.

Our son was being called names and teased.

Our son was being punched in the back.

Our son was being pinched to the point that he came home with bruises.

Now our son is not a small boy. He is a pretty big kid and has learned to handle himself fairly well. Not too long ago, he achieved his purple belt in Kajukenbo and had been progressing towards his blue belt when the instructor changed and he lost interest in the program.

Basically, he can take care of himself but has an easy-going demeanor and tries to be friendly with everyone.

All along, he was being respectful of the bully and turning the other cheek while my wife and I communicated our concerns to the school. First the teacher and then the principal. Initially, we asked our son to do his best in avoiding the bully but that proved difficult since they are in the same class.

We had a meeting with the principal after our initial communications appeared to fall on deaf ears.

The school responded by preventing the bully from participating in outside recess, instead having to sit in the office.

For one day.

As you might imagine, that did nothing to curb his actions towards our son.

The school informed us that our son should write a letter to his teacher whenever the bully was bothering him. Last Wednesday he wrote his teacher a detailed letter about what the bully was doing to him.

On Thursday, our son had reached his tipping point.

He walked up to the bully and punched him in the face.

Now I have to admit that my actions and comments likely had an influence on this course of action. When my son had told me that the bully was pinching him and calling him a “bitch”, I too had had enough and informed my son that he had our blessing to defend himself.

I told him that he would not be in trouble at home and that my wife and I would deal with the school if he were to get in trouble. The point where I probably crossed the line was when I told my son that if he did have to defend himself, he should lay the bully out and say “Who is the bitch now?”

After releasing his frustration on the bully’s now bloody face, our son was sent to the principal and we received a phone call informing us that our son was going to be suspended.

As noted over at Tip Dad, our son’s school opted to punish our son for self defense while the bully that has been pinching, pushing, and punching him has received no such punishment.

The school initially told my wife and me that they would simply have our son serve the suspension in the principal’s office until it was time for him to leave school. In our eyes, he was being punished for something that we did not feel was wrong. Therefore we informed the school that he would serve his one day suspension at home and we would pick him up.

Normally, I would not condone fighting for the sake of fighting.

But our son was standing up for himself and at that moment, I could not have been more proud of him. There was no punishment awaiting him at home, as a matter of fact my wife and I took him out for lunch; although we did communicate to him that fighting is not the way to deal with problems.

After the incident at school, the principal informed us that she was disappointed that we did not trust the school to handle the matter. The point that the principal was missing was that we did trust the school to handle the matter, yet they failed that trust when they did nothing to curb the bully’s behavior.

To make matters worse, we were given a few documents by the school regarding how to deal with a bully. One of the documents indicated that sometimes kids will be bullied if they act different, dress different, or talk different and that they should try to change their behavior to fit in.

Excuse me!

Whatever happened to accepting people for who they are and not judging someone because they are different. It is absurd to see that a school system is trying to make the child being bullied feel it is their fault that they are the target of a bully.

The following day at school, my son was not sure what to expect and I told him to be cautious as the bully might want to try and punch him back. Quite the opposite occurred, as the bully now wants to be friends with my son.

When faced with a bully at school, you can do your best to avoid the situation and turn the other cheek.

However, as my son found out, sometimes you need to stand up for yourself and punch the bully square in the face.

Photo credit: Greencolander

What is one food that can make a woman’s sex drive disappear?

Wedding cake.

That joke might be funny if I hadn’t heard it from so many married men that complain about the lack of sexual activity taking place in their marriage.

As much as guys might want to think that any reduction in the quantity of time between the sheets (or on the dining room table) is an evil plan concocted by their wives, often times the real answer is staring at them in the mirror.

Now I am not going to get all Cosmopolitan on you and start bashing my fellow man and placing all of the blame on you for any lack of spice in the bedroom, as your partner certainly plays a role in that as well.

But when you take a step back and look at how you have changed over the years, you might just find that there are some small changes that you can make that will have your partner crawling all over you.

The following eight tips are things that you can do right now to avoid being one of those guys that breaks out that joke about the wedding cake.

1. Stop thinking of her as your personal squeeze toy.

Guys, I know it is extremely tempting to constantly be giving your wife a squeeze here and a squeeze there; however, she will most likely not appreciate it as much as you would if she were the one squeezing you.

The path to romance rarely begins with a “drive-by” boob squeeze as you pass your wife in the kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the boob squeeze as much (actually more) than the next guy but if you think it is going to lead to some hot and steamy action in the bedroom, guess again.

2. Pay attention to her turn-ons.

No, I am not referring to the type of turn-on such as how she likes it when you kiss the small of her back. What I am talking about here are the every day things that might be a turn-on for your wife or partner. Often times it is things that seem so ordinary that you might not pay attention.

If you get home before your wife, rather than plop down in front of the TV, clean up the house and vacuum the carpets. When she walks in and sees you vacuuming, she may have a hard time not jumping on you right then and there.

3. Cook her dinner.

Sure, some of you guys are outstanding chefs and thrive when putting together a meal. However, many of us defer to our wives far too often when it comes to the cooking.

Once you are done with the cleaning (and any extra-curricular activities that might take place as a result) head into the kitchen and prepare a nice dinner. Throwing hot dogs on the grill with a side of potato chips doesn’t count either. Prepare a meal that includes a main entree along with one or two sides, maybe a nice salad beforehand. Bonus points if you plan ahead and bring home a nice bottle of wine to enjoy with dinner.

4. Plan a date night and surprise her.

Between the demands of work schedules, driving the kids around to their activities, and taking care of things around the house, it is easy to forget that you and your wife need to spend some time alone together. Away from everyone and everything.

Plan a complete date night for you and your wife without letting her know about. Coordinate the baby sitter to take care of the kids and enjoy a night together. About an hour (you might want to make it two depending on your wife) before you need to leave, tell her to put on something nice as you have somewhere to go.

The activities that you plan for the date night aren’t nearly as important as simply making the effort to plan some special time just for the two of you.

5. Randomly let her know that she is on your mind.

Sometimes we get so busy in our day to day activities that we take it for granted that our loved ones know how important they are to us.

Take a few minutes out of your day, maybe before you run into your next meeting, to give her a call and let her know that you were thinking about her. Tell her that you cannot wait to see her tonight so you can kiss her beautiful lips. When you hang up, she’ll know that she was on your mind and now she will be thinking about the kiss, and maybe more.

6. Admit it when you are wrong.

Have you ever argued a point even when you know that you are wrong? It is silly when you think about it, as you know that you messed up, yet you continue to hold your ground and refuse to admit your wrong-doing.

This defensive behavior builds up a wall around you and casts a negative light on your actions. When you can admit when you are wrong, your wife will appreciate the fact that you are aware that you don’t know everything. You might think this is a sign of weakness on your part, she will likely think it is an extremely attractive sign of your confidence.

7. Tease her.

Not the name-calling, hair-pulling kind of teasing – that might be coming later if you’re lucky. What you want to do here is leave her wanting more.

Pull her in close and start to give her a nice, deep kiss – then stop and walk away. She’ll be left wanting more and will be looking for an opportunity to continue where you left off.

8. Cuddle, yes, I said cuddle, after sex.

The word cuddle makes most men cringe, as they usually have one of a few things on their mind after sex: going to sleep, having something to eat, or watching SportsCenter.

Resist the temptation to indulge in one of those activities and cuddle with your wife. You will be showing her that there is nothing more important than being there with her at that moment. Check the scores in the morning over a big breakfast and you might just be given the opportunity to cuddle more and more.

Spark The Romance

Throughout all of these tips, you will hopefully have noticed that most of them are focused on adding a little romance into your relationship rather than talking specifically about sex.

As part of Darren Rowse’s Group Writing Project on Killer Titles, hopefully this post has given you something to think about and captured your attention.

After having a few kids and being married for years, it is easy to lose sight of the importance that romance has in a relationship. Give these tips a try and you will hopefully find that the path to more action in the bedroom begins with romance, not a boob squeeze!

Photo credit: shutter.chick

Failure is unacceptable.

Parents that engage in the sport of competitive child rearing (coming soon to the X-Games) often expect perfection from their child. When the child fails, which will happen eventually, the parent is there to berate them rather than pat them on the back and offer words of encouragement.

Consider the following scenarios, which you likely have seen or heard about within your circle of friends:

• A child comes home with their report card containing three As, two Bs, and one C (it hasn’t been that long but I don’t even remember how many grades you normally have on a report card). Rather than congratulate the child on their good work, the CCR (Competitive Child Rearing) parent dwells on the lowest grade, likely grounding the child for their “poor” grades.

• It is a sunny Saturday afternoon out at the Little League baseball field. After driving in two runs and making a couple of quality plays in the field, a child drops a fly ball that allows the winning run to score. As the child leaves the field, you can see the parent expressing their displeasure in the failure to make the play with no mention of the success that the child achieved earlier in the game.

Unfortunately, scenarios like these seem to be more the norm lately.

It isn’t that CCR parents are trying to belittle their children either, at least one would hope that is not the case. Instead, many parents want the best for their children and the common thought is that the only way to be the best is to never fail.

You and I know differently.

To be the best, you will fail.

You will fail again and again. It is the man, woman, or child that does not let these failures stop them that will become the best.

Even when a parent understands that failure breeds success in their own life, somehow that doesn’t always translate to their children.

Seeing your child fail hurts.

It tugs at the old heartstrings.

When a child fails, we as parents need to be there for them. Support them. Encourage them. Love them.

Focusing on a child’s failure will teach them to have a fear of failing. The fear of failing can be crippling, preventing people from trying new things or stepping outside of their comfort zone.

While that doesn’t mean we should necessarily embrace failure, as success is much more fun, we as parents need to remember that failure offers a learning opportunity. Failure has a knack for teaching us what doesn’t work, as well as what we need to work harder on and do differently the next time.

Unfortunately, the CCR parent often ignores the fact that failure is an essential ingredient to success; instead teaching their children that failure is unacceptable.

You and I know differently.

With fuel prices reaching new highs, more and more people are striving to work from home and many claim they would even be willing to take a pay cut to telecommute.

But how much can you really save by telecommuting?

There are a variety of factors that will influence how much you can personally save by telecommuting but I thought it would be interesting to use my current situation as an example.

The first thing we need to do is look at how much it costs to commute each day. For now we will only be looking at the immediate costs of commuting such as fuel and tolls. Other costs to consider are the wear and tear on your vehicle, such as replacing tires and routine oil changes.

My cost to commute to work each day breaks down as follows:

• Distance: 130 mile round trip commute
• Fuel Economy: 31.5 miles per gallon
• Fuel Consumption: 4.13 gallons per day
• Fuel Cost: $4.23 per gallon (price paid this morning)
• Tolls: $2.50 per day (six tolls, thank you Illinois Tollway Authority)
• Total Cost: $19.97 per day

At a cost of $19.97 per day, commuting to work is not cheap and adds up quickly – $99.85 per week or $4992.50 per year assuming a 50-week working year.

In order to get a flavor for how much we can actually save by working from home, lets assume that we are able to telecommute only one day per week. Using our 50-week assumption, we can save $998.50 over the course of a year just by telecommuting once each week.

How much would that translate to if we saved that money?

After punching a few numbers into a financial calculator, we see that saving $998.50 per year could result in a nest egg of approximately $35,000 after 30 years assuming a somewhat conservative (historically) 6.00% savings rate.

Telecommute two days per week…$70,155 in savings!

Telecommute five days per week…$175,387 in savings!

When you bump the savings rate up to a slightly more aggressive 8.00% you would have over $215,000 in savings if you were to telecommute every day of the week. Add in the savings realized as a result of fewer oil changes and fewer tire purchases and you will soon be pushing $250,000 in savings.

That is a nice chunk of change!

At first glance, taking a pay cut in order to telecommute sounds like a silly idea and you might be wondering whether or not you can afford to take a pay cut.

After running the numbers, can you afford not to take a pay cut?

School’s out for summer!

The kids have just arrived home from their last day of school and they are going crazy. In a few short minutes, we are about to have the entire block descend on our house as we host an annual “School’s Out” party for the kids.

Before the kids turn to pulling pranks on their siblings – or worse, you – you need to get them busy with activities. This is also a great opportunity to remind yourself why being a dad rocks and get out there with your kids.

Here are 10 things to do with your kids to make this a great summer!

1. Attend a Baseball Game

Photo credit: joeshlabotnik

Whether you take the kids to a professional game, minor league game, or even a local high school game really doesn’t matter – as just being at the ballpark with your kids is a great bonding opportunity for dads and the kids.

Nothing beats a hot dog at the ballpark or teaching your kids how to crack open a peanut with their teeth and spit out the shell.

2. Go Fishing

Photo credit: binkley27

Grab the fishing poles and a handful of earth worms – although we always used hot dogs for bait when I was a kid – and head down to a nearby pond or river.

While it is fun to get out in a boat, you can have just as much fun standing on the shore casting out into the water.

It helps to have a tackle box with a few essentials, such as pliers, lures, etc. but don’t let the lack of these items prevent you from getting out there. If you plan to fish yourself, be careful as you may require a fishing license for your area and don’t want to get fined for breaking the law.

3. Take Them To The Zoo

Photo credit: brookenovak

Visiting the zoo can be a lot of fun. Not only will you get a little bit of exercise walking around the zoo, you will have the opportunity to learn about animals with your children.

As you work your way through the zoo, ask your kids about their favorite animals and why they like that animal the best. You might just be surprised at what your kids find interesting about the animals and their rationale for why they like a particular animal the best.

As an added bonus, all the walking at the zoo will likely leave your kids exhausted and provide an opportunity for quiet evening with your spouse when the kids crash early!

4. Go Hiking

Photo credit: respres

Just in case the walking around the zoo is not enough activity for you, take the kids hiking.

Many of your local forest preserves likely have walking trails that can test your level of fitness on and have hte opportunity to enjoy nature.

To this day, one of our family’s favorite vacations was visiting the Smoky Mountains where we spent almost the entire trip hiking the trails within the park. We got great exercise and had fun exploring the unknown.

5. Ride Bikes To The Ice Cream Shop

Photo credit: abbynormy

Getting out with your kids for a bike ride is a lot of fun. Seeing their eyes light up when they realize that the destination is the ice cream shop is priceless.

The exercise from riding to and from the ice cream shop is enough to offset the ice cream – well, maybe not but that is what I keep telling myself. Prepare for some great conversations as you sit with your kids on a hot summer afternoon with ice cream dripping down their face.

6. Have A Treasure Hunt

Photo credit: crobj

Whether you break out the metal detector to look for buried treasure or just make up a treasure list like when you were a kid at a sleep over, you will have fun exploring.

Part of the excitement with a treasure hunt is just imagining the possibilities. Maybe you will find some long-lost artifact that would make Indiana Jones proud – or maybe you will just find a dime that has been buried for years. Most kids will be just as happy either way.

7. Go Camping

Photo credit: baronbrian

Camping is a lot of fun and can provide an opportunity to do a lot of the other activities on this list at the same time.

Sitting around the camp fire at night, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories is a classic family activity.

If you’re nervous about heading out into the woods, don’t be afraid to set up the tent in your backyard and pretend like you are out in the wild. Our kids even get a kick out of setting up the tent in the family room and watching movies from inside the tent.

8. Fly A Kite

Photo credit: tocs

When you think of summer activities, flying a kite is probably somewhere on that list. However, you don’t see many kids flying kites anymore.

Head down to the local hobby shop to pick up a kite and some string, or you can be adventurous and try to build your own.

Once you are out at the park, have a competition with your kids to see who can get the kite up the highest. Just prepare yourself for disappointment, as flying a kite as an adult seems much harder than what I remember as a child.

9. Gather Your Kids And Their Friends And Play A Game

Photo credit: davidgrant

Tell your kids to gather up a group of their friends and play a game with them.

Play basketball. Play dodgeball. Play tag.

You against all of the kids.

Your kids’ friends will think you are the coolest dad ever and your kids will likely be feeling the same way. As the kids get older, you can get more competitive and try harder – until the day that you are trying your hardest and they are whooping your butt!

10. Perform A Random Act Of Kindness

Photo credit: glennf

Doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return will teach your children a very valuable life lesson. It is shocking to see how many people only think about themselves, which is quickly picked up on by children.

Take your kids out to pick up trash in the parks. Take them down to the neighbor who has been working late and cut their lawn. Build a birdhouse and take it to a nearby senior center and share it with someone. Get creative about the activity, just be sure to demonstrate to your kids how rewarding it is to do something nice for someone else.

Get Out There

As you can see with most of these activities, it isn’t so much the particular activity that is important but the fact that you are out there spending time with your kids. Take advantage of the summer weather and enjoy some special time with your kids.

Speaking of kids, the crowd we have at our house right now is calling for more hot dogs on the grill. While I head out to feed the hungry monsters kids, share your suggestions for additional activities in the comments.

With a handful of days with the house to myself, I had visions of being uber-productive.

Can you guess what happened?

That’s right – with so much time to myself, I kept procrastinating on my list of things to do.

After all, with days of uninterrupted free time, I had more than enough time to get everything done with time to spare. Then I got busy on twitter. Then I spent time catching up on all of my RSS reading. Then I spent time watching the White Sox games out on the west coast.

There I sat on Saturday night, less than 24 hours until I left for Las Vegas and with a long list of tasks still waiting to be completed.

Now to be fair, I did spend a good portion of the day on Saturday doing laundry and cleaning the house. Trying to pay attention to my husband balance, I knew my wife would appreciate coming home from her trip to a clean house.

As I raced around on Saturday night, I realized that having a regular dose of family time actually increases my productivity.

The normal schedule of going to work and then coming home to spend time with my family mandates that I make the most of my free time. Without a surplus of time to myself, I am more focused on getting my work done.

It seems counterintuitive that reducing your free time would make you more productive; but this past week I have found it to be true for me.

Maybe I am just a weak man that is too easily distracted by nonsense when I am home alone. Or maybe it was my mind and body telling myself to decompress – yeah, that’s it.

If you find yourself twittering frittering time away, set aside more time with your family and you might just increase your productivity.

Unfortunately, even though we know this, we still struggle to buy a gift for the woman that we love. Over the years that my wife and I have been married, I’ve made just about every gift buying mistake that you can think of.

Lingerie (to which she asked if I thought it was my birthday)…guilty.

Truffles when she was dieting (ouch, the ensuing guilt trip may scar you for years)…guilty.

Clothing of the wrong size (ouch, don’t do this one either – and don’t trust the labels inside their current clothes as there are no guarantees that is still her size, trust me)…guilty.

I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

With today being my wife’s birthday, I have recently gone through the process of buying her a gift and thought that I would share with you the lessons that I have learned on how to buy the perfect gift.

In all honesty, you’re going to kick yourself when you realize how easy it really is to buy the perfect gift.

Prepare yourself.

Are you ready for the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift?

Step #1 :: Listen To Her

Did the lights just dim?

I know that is an Earth shattering revelation but I guarantee you that a few weeks to a few months before the special occasion, your wife will be dropping you hints left and right in casual conversation. Unfortunately, we are usually trying to listen to SportsCenter while trying to make it look like we are listening to every last word.

More often than not, we miss these hidden suggestions and end up buying a gift that we think she wants. Only on the rarest of occasions did your wife actually mention that she has been wanting to purchase a new vacuum – and even if she did that doesn’t mean she wants it for her birthday.

Traditional advice is to never buy your wife a tool or appliance for her birthday. If it is associated with her doing more work, it is probably not the best gift.

However, a few years back I purchased one of those fancy, colorful, do-everything kitchen blender mixer magic maker things as a Christmas gift and it went over very well.

Yes, I know that I just said that tools and appliances don’t make great gifts but the reason that this gift went over well is because I followed the second step of the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift.

Step #2 :: Ask Her

Again, such a simple thing to do yet we often overlook in the desire to purchase the perfect gift.

While some might say it lacks romance or creativity, I would ask them how romantic or creative it is to see your wife in the customer service department returning the gift that you thought she would love as much as you did.

I don’t know about you but when it is my birthday, I truly enjoy getting something that I want and I don’t enjoy it any less if I had to tell someone that I wanted it.

By asking your wife what she would like for the special occasion, you will avoid the risk of misunderstanding the hints she had been trying to give you for the weeks preceding the special day and save yourself from the panic of rushing around the mall on the night before as you rack your brain trying to remember anything that she said to you.

When you ask your wife what she truly wants for the second time, as the first answer will likely be that she doesn’t want anything (yeah, don’t do this one either…guilty), you will ensure that you buy a gift that she does in fact want.

George Foreman Guarantee

Following the two steps of the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift comes with the guarantee that you will purchase a gift that makes your wife happy.

If she isn’t happy with the gift, then you did something wrong.

In recent years I have followed these two steps with fantastic results, whether it be the time the two of us escaped for a long weekend in Boston and Salem or more recently when the long-awaited little blue box from Tiffany & Co arrived under the Christmas tree.

The next time you need to buy your wife a gift, refer back to this guide and let me know how it goes.

Now, it is just about time for my wife to open her birthday gifts – if you don’t hear back from me, ignore this Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift and buy her that lingerie!

Cool Reads:

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• 15 Abilities You Must Have to Get Out of the Rat Race

However, after reading a post from Gary Jones over at John Chow’s blog covering twitter 101, I was compelled to sign up and am now proud to be a twit.

The purpose of this post is not to explain why you need to sign up for twitter if you haven’t already – trust me, you do – or how much fun it can be – trust me, it is – but rather to try and assemble an ultimate list of dads and husbands that are twits.

Here is a list of outstanding dads/husbands that you can find and follow on twitter.

Ultimate List of Twitter Dads & Husbands

• dereksemmler
• BuildingCamelot
• rileycentral
• SepiaBand
• aimclear
• shoemoney
• derrich
• problogger
• chrisgarrett
• byosko
• Scobleizer
• bluefur
• JohnChowDotCom
• guykawasaki
• copyblogger
• Frauenfelder
• mommydaddyblog
• AGoodHusband
• Xbox4NappyRash
• Akula
• TimFerriss
• jnbammer
• sagar13d
• khylek
• fuadar
• deguia
• theratingblog
• noahdavidsimon
• rcyork
• lasthome
• RuudHein
• cc_chapman
• EdRoberts
• mfleig
• mdoeff
• gnomedad
• scrabbler99
• smashingred
• jaywop
• dedmond29
• Devon_O_in_CO
• technosailor
• radix33
• papamike
• CPeterC
• bpolensky
• sitelogic
• nowsourcing
• waugaman
• msh2006
• rtkmusic
• abbysbooth
• liveonmars
• nlbctim
• Jinfinite8
• busydad
• rudecactus
• annoyingboring
• gunfighter
• zoesdad
• joeprah
• mitchmcdad
• stshores24
• mattpetty
• GrantGriffiths
• struglas
• jasonrothlv
• mrbigdubya
• LOD
• chiatt
• augnix
• jchenard
• Corruptor
• DadGoneMad
• sac_
• sceptre95
• jhcuatro
• tvsmike
• benandwyattsdad
• dvs
• arriflex
• shap
• djwanson
• jspiewak
• teebery
• brianifoster
• beelerspace
• greenergrad
• RaggedEdge
• jimbrayton
• joshglid
• RsGunther
• CyberCerberus
• roadhacker
• MrVersatal
• BrooklynBeast
• Ramshackle
• ceatSOFT
• ovpaul
• twazi
• neilalbrock
• keebo
• kobak
• edchapel
• tjstankus
• DStoneburner
• chriseppstein
• chrismorgan
• m_2
• mkarol
• fiorelli
• Zencore
• jkersley
• dmooreintersect
• sampsa
• niczak
• crimsonl
• stevenbristol
• jimiray
• thinkreferrals
• christophergray
• DaddysToolbox
• waynesutton
• shermanhu
• bikegeek
• motherbumper
• 19thHole
• menwithpens
• livecrunch
• eMarv
• SeanHannigan
• kevinthoule
• billpennington
• dwescott1
• wbaustin
• nlbctim
• smc2911
• gcoates
• e_man
• RoyMontero
• swoodruff
• claynewton
• lloydgomez
• minmax2k
• betshopboy
• RyanEs
• fitzwillie
• velociped
• savvydaddy
• MikeRalph
• simplyChuck
• DarinRMcClure
• tszcheetah
• childsplayx2
• hoopadoo
• Bobzilla
• nevali
• markbaillie
• bruncleubba
• maxgladwell
• superk696
• chriswebb
• PacketRat
• martyj
• andycaster
• TheFitB
• shellen
• cechastain
• wingbuilder
• leroykmay
• thatrobguy
• TaxMan45
• DavidWise
• davidbullock
• chrisbrogan
• doughenderson
• ChrisBatDell
• aeroG
• Homeschooling
• ThirdHyphen
• shawnjooste
• justinhartman
• stii
• marioOlckers
• bradshorr
• edstoffel
• flanimation
• Zeitnehmer
• matthewSBOC
• DaveTaylor
• FilmBuzz
• PopDaddy
• knightsicre
• TheMadHermit
• PecanCtMichael
• yafd
• unscripteddad
• Steve_Adams
• BuckDaddy
• jimbo10
• _tomsk
• rbucich
• colepierce
• rywhee
• DaddyJoe
• menRsmart
• iGoByDoc
• DerekMarkham
• SeanDaily
• CraftyDad
• thezendad
• TwinToddlersDad
• jt_topics
• solargroupies
• tomkimmerer
• croncast
• Bullhunter
• TheBusyBrain
• CCSeed
• marlonbroussard
• tonyfarley
• JBMovies
• campingblogger
• randog
• steveouch
• writerdad
• 3rblogging
• SaintJer
• joegerstandt
• easton
• johnmorgan
• idibs
• Paisano
• aaronmccall
• jefftippett
• GregKnottLeMond
• iaindodsworth
• zen_habits
• TheDigitalLife
• stephenkruiser
• ZachInPhilly
• PaulsHealthBlog
• tombeardshaw
• aeioux
• dad_info
• odadeo
• louisgray
• hightechdad
• TheFatherLife
• daddyclay
• daddybrad
• thedadjam
• dadcentric
• BackpackingDad
• geekycyberdad
• MrBabyMan
• divorceddadwkly
• gadgetvirtuoso
• orlund
• adadslife
• joedawson
• jamesatbabyspot
• ladaddy
• LookyDaddy
• SoulShiner
• 5646569
• johnfairley
• FitAndBusyDad
• jasoncrouch
• JasonFalls
• mikevmusic
• JiMpiSh
• MathewButka

This will be a living list as I continue to search through twitter looking for the men that I know are dads, but if you’re a dad/husband not on the list above please leave a comment below or send me a tweet “@dereksemmler add me to the club” and you will be added to the list.

One of the goals for this blog is to promote the role of fathers and the importance of finding a balance between the demands of your career and the needs of your family.

As more and more dads invade the Interweb, I’d love to see this list of dads and husbands on twitter become a resource to help you connect with like-minded people and become a better man, husband, and/or dad.

Spending quality time with your children is essential to not only your child’s health and well-being, but also your own. Many men feel that their responsibility is to work hard and provide a decent living for their family. While there is no question that that is important, we also need to pay attention to the relationship with our children.

Here are the 10 ways to make time for your children, along with my comments on each.

1. Commit to a family mealtime each day.

Setting aside time to sit down as a family and share a meal is very important. Eliminate any distractions, such as the television or the newspaper, so you can focus on having some quality conversation.

It may be difficult to always be home in time for dinner but don’t let that stop you. Maybe you can share breakfast on some days before you head to work and the kids leave for school. Or maybe it can be something as simple as a special dessert time after dinner if you cannot get home in time for dinner. Be creative.

2. Write your children’s activities into your schedule book – in ink!

You might not feel like the occasional baseball game or dance competition is that big of a deal, but this is something that is important to your child and your presence demonstrates that they are important to you as well.

Is that late work meeting really more important than the excitement your child feels when they see you in the crowd? Book their events on your calendar and treat their “meeting” just as you would if you were meeting with your boss.

3. Identify one thing on your weekly schedule you can do without and replace it with kid time.

Do you really need to see the new episode of Lost? Look at the variety of ways that you spend your time right now and find something that can take a backseat to spending time with your child.

Honestly evaluate how important each activity is during the week and ask yourself if your time would be better spent building a stronger relationship with your son or daughter.

4. Take one of your children along when you run errands.

While your kids might not always want to run errands, you can spend some great time together running around town. The time in the car offers a great chance to talk about things such as school or whatever is on their mind.

Face-to-face conversation can sometimes be too intimate for your children to feel comfortable sharing all of their thoughts. When you are focused on driving, you may find that your kids will never stop talking – as I know my kids talk a mile a minute whenever we are in the car.

5. Volunteer to participate in a regularly scheduled child activity, such as coaching a softball team or helping with a school activity.

As I mentioned earlier about how much your kids will enjoy your mere presence at their activities, they will really enjoy the time you can spend with them as a coach or participant.

While I haven’t been able to devote the time to coaching one of my kid’s activities, I have had the chance to participate at their school and the smile on their face when I walk in their classroom is priceless.

6. Identify one children’s show on TV that you secretly like to watch and make a point of watching it with your child.

Just one? Seriously, there are quite a few children shows that both my kids and I really enjoy. One show that we all enjoy watching is Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon.

My wife and I have actually watched a few of these shows even when the kids are not around. The family shows tend to have quality family lessons and can provide quite a few topics to discuss with your children.

7. Develop an interest in a hobby you and your child can enjoy together.

There is nothing better than spending time with your child doing something that you both love. There are endless opportunities as to what you can do together – fishing, biking, basketball, etc.

It really doesn’t matter which hobby you share, as the real goal is to just have time to bond together.

8. If your work requires that you travel, take one of your children along with you when your business trip can be extended into a long weekend.

Depending on the age of your child, this may be rather difficult but not out of the question. The largest obstacle would be to find someone that can watch your child while you are occupied with work.

If you’re visiting another office from your company, maybe they have an on-site daycare. You may also be able to talk to who you are visiting and request that your child be permitted to accompany you as long as they behave professionally.

9. If your work schedule is flexible, start your work day earlier so you can get home earlier in the afternoon to be with your family.

Flexible schedules are a great way to make additional time to be with your kids. You can start the day earlier to be home earlier, or maybe spend the morning with your kids and work a little later.

In the summer, I like to get into the office by 6:00am and leave by 2:00pm on Monday and Friday. In addition, I take Wednesday off all year and that provides quite a few opportunities to spend time with my kids.

10. Leave your work, cellular phones and pagers at home when you go on family vacations and outings.

Technology can be a life saver – but it can also hamper your relationships. As I wrote about 5 technologies that hurt your work-life balance, you need to be conscious of not allowing technology to rule your life.

Get Involved With Your Children

There are many ways to get involved with your children. Whether it be one of these ten suggestions or something else that you have discovered, get out there and be an active part of your child’s life.

As a matter of fact, I had to take a break while writing this post to have a “national fighting” match with my budding boxing champion and now it is time to unplug and enjoy a pizza and movie night with the family.

The battle between parents and kids over a clean bedroom has been raging since before the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series – sorry, I’m a Chicago White Sox fan and just had to get a dig in on the Cubs as spring training gets underway.

When you think that you have won the battle as your child begins to clean their room, you quickly get a dose of reality when 45 seconds later your child exclaims that they are done cleaning.

Humoring yourself, you peek your head into their room and you think one shirt might have been picked up off the floor.

Our oldest son usually resorts to the following routine when he is told to clean his room:

• All of the clothes on the floor are rolled into a ball and shoved into the corner of the closet.
• Toys are crammed into his “junk drawer” in one of the dressers.
• Once the junk drawer is full, everything else gets crammed under the bed.
• All done.

There is no doubt that parents and children have very different definitions of what it means to clean a room. When our children are cleaning their room, they will usually ask if it has to be “Mom clean” or their version of clean.

Think back to the last time you had this battle with your children and tell me if the following sounds familiar:

Did you notice the real problem during that conversation? Hint, it happened right there at the end.

Ownership.

This battle is less about actually cleaning the room and more about ownership of space. Parents feel they own the entire house while children are trying to claim ownership of their room. After all, they are regularly told it is their room.

As a parent it can be hard to relinquish complete control to your children, but eventually it has to happen and giving them the ownership of their room can go a long way towards helping them gain a sense of responsibility.

When we constantly demand that they do what we want with their things – their room in this case – aren’t we really saying that we don’t respect their ability to make their own decisions?

There are valid arguments as to why your child should have to clean their room, including:

• What is that smell? Dirty underwear piled over the heat vent doesn’t always smell the best – trust me. If you allow your children to have food in their room, there may be things growing somewhere in there and that is not healthy.

• Being messy can be expensive. When a bedroom looks like a disaster area, it is easy to step on – and break – the Nintendo DS that is buried under Legos and dirty clothes. Games are lost, CDs are scratched. Trying to replace the damaged items is not cheap.

• @#*$! You only need to have a G.I. Joe gun lodged into your foot once to appreciate the ability to walk in a clean bedroom.

Unfortunately, the “because I said so” argument isn’t very valid here – or anywhere to be perfectly honest, hopefully my kids won’t be reading this post.

While I would love to tell you that we have conquered this age-old battle in our house, it is one that has been acted out far too many times. Our kids despise having to clean their room. The mess really drives my wife crazy and while the mess usually doesn’t bother me, I support my wife’s effort to have the kids clean their room.

Ding…ding…ding!

Before this battle has a chance to enter another round, my wife and I are going to explore the idea of having the kids’ bedrooms truly be their space to do with as they see fit.

There will be a couple of ground rules though, as otherwise I would fear for the safety of anyone that steps into our house.

• Every six months their rooms will need a thorough cleaning. This will ensure that they don’t somehow find a way to clone dirty socks that eventually take over the world.
• We reserve the right to not enter their room if we feel it is too messy – see @#*$! above. This means that they might miss out on a bedtime story, at least in their room, if it is too messy.

With the bedroom battle waging on no matter what methods have been used, it is time to transfer ownership of the bedroom and respect the right for our children to have their own space.

Am I being too optimistic?

Please share your stories of how you have approached the battle over a clean bedroom in your house.

Photo credit: Jono Rotten

Darren Rowse is the pro blogger and I mean that literally, as he is the man behind ProBlogger.

Darren made his start with blogging back in 2002 when he created Living Room : A Space for Life after reading an article about blogging.

Since that time, Darren has created a reputation as someone that is a go-to resource for information on blogging as well as digital photography.

If that were not enough to keep one person busy, he also co-founded the global blog network b5media and is the VP of Blogger Training.

Darren recently shared some of his time with me as I interviewed him about how he has learned to balance the needs of his family with the demands of building a successful blogging career out of his home office.

Can you please tell me a little about your family? How many kids do you have? How old are they?

My family is fairly small at the moment – (both in number and height).

I have been married for five and a half years to ‘V’ and have a 17 month old son Xavier.

Can you provide a little bit of background on your career and professional interests?

My career these days revolves around blogging. I’ve been blogging for exactly five years (almost to the day) but started out with it purely as a hobby/interest in my spare time – but in that time it’s gradually become an income and full time (and more) business. Previously I had been working a number of jobs (quite often a number of part time ones at once) mainly in churches as a minister and youth worker.

How would you define work-life balance?

It’s an interesting term and one that I’ve become a little uncomfortable with because it seems to almost separate ‘work’ and ‘life’ from one another as though they mutually exclusive. I hear a lot of people talking about their work life and their family life and their spiritual life and their sex life…. as if they have lots of separate lives. I’m not sure they really mean it – but I guess I’ve been working hard lately to see a bit more integration between them.

I’ve come to discover in the last few years that work is a wonderful part of life – I actually enjoy it a lot and celebrate it as something central in my life.

Having said that – I think that many elements of life can become out of balance when we obsess over them. For some the temptation is to make work the dominant thing in your life, for others it’s another person, for others it’s an obsession with exercise, for some it’s a hobby, for others it’s…. ((insert vice here)).

So for me it’s probably not just about work-life balance but a whole life balance (hmm – that came out more muddled than it was in my head!)

Do you feel that dads have a harder time achieving work-life balance than moms? If so, how?

I can’t speak for all cultures – but I know here in Australia there is an expectation that many males feel that success and self worth comes from the work you do and the success that you have in it. It’s very easy to get sucked into the myth that ‘you are what you earn’ or ‘you are what your job title says you are’. I suspect women feel these pressures too – but I talk to a lot of guys who feel it.

What do you personally find is your biggest struggle to achieving a healthy work-life balance?

For me there are a number of temptations when it comes to my work.

For starters there’s never enough time to do even a small percentage of the opportunities that I see around me. If there were 10 cloned Darren Rowse’s I’m sure I’d still have more things that I could do with their 240 hours a day! So the temptation is to fill up any ‘spare’ time that I might have with work rather than other things that I value (like family, friends, rest).

Secondly there’s the temptation that my workspace provides me – because it’s just in the next room. Working from home has it’s advantages but it’s disadvantages also. Add to that that I have wifi through the house and can bring my work into the family room – and that I have mobile broadband and can bring my work into outings, vacations etc and if I wasn’t careful work could become too dominant in my life quite easily.

Lastly – one of the increasingly common opportunities that comes my was is speaking opportunities. This is wonderful as I love to communicate and enjoy public speaking – however most of them are on the other side of the world. I live in Australia and a trip to the US or the UK even just to speak for a day actually takes a week out of my life with preparation, travel and recovery and this places pressure on family to cope without me.

What do you remember from your own childhood with regard to your dad’s work-life balance? Was he around or always busy working? How has that influenced your own views on the subject?

My father is a minister and has worked in churches all my life. This has impacted me profoundly on numerous fronts. For starters it has shaped some of my own career/vocational aspirations over the last 15 years.

Secondly he structured some of his work around a home office. This meant that we often saw him when we got home from school and that he was very involved in our lives (many afternoons of backyard cricket, playing tennis etc with him). This is something that I’m happy to be able to do for my family too and I love the fact that I see my son throughout each day. I hope to do this for the rest of my life.

Lastly, the pressures of his work did at times take him away from home in the evenings or brought his work to our house (meetings etc). This is something that he did quite well to balance – however at times his work did intrude a little into family life. This wasn’t anywhere near the extent that it could have – but I guess it’s something that I’m aware of.

How have you learned to identify when your work-life balance is too far out of balance in one direction?

I have three great signals:

1. my Wife is great at telling me when I’m out of balance
2. my Son has inherited his Mother’s ability
3. my body tends to crash when I work too hard

What is one of the biggest mistakes that you have made with regard to work-life balance?

Before I started blogging as a living I was working in a church where I was putting in enormous hours. I was also studying part time and had just gotten married. My body couldn’t cope and I suffered for a number of months with Bells Palsy (a facial paralysis). The virus that was behind it (something that attacked my optical nerve) was caused by stress and lack of rest. The night before it hit me I’d been at a meeting until 2am after a long week of stressful work.

The experience was a frightening one – I initially thought I’d had a stroke and it impacted me to the point that I lost all balance and was bed ridden for weeks and unable to work for months. I learned a lot at that time about listening to my body and being more balance.

Have you faced any stigmas or criticism for focusing on your own work-life balance? Do you think focusing on your family has impacted your career? If so, how?

Not really. That’s not to say that the balancing act is easy or that I always get it right – but I’m not sure others have really made too much comment about it.

What is one thing that you wish you knew at an earlier age with regard to work-life balance? That is to say, what is one piece of advice that you would give to a new dad as he struggles to find his work-life balance?

One of the things I learned around the time that my Son began to work was the power of the ‘door’.

My office has a door (radical isn’t it) and I use it as a signal to my family. When it’s open anyone can walk in and I give them my full attention. But when it’s closed it’s a signal that Dad’s at work. I can still be ‘disturbed’ when the door is shut – but I guess as a family we realized that if I was disrupted all day every day that business would suffer and as a result so would our income and ability to pay the bills.

I think it’s about establishing healthy boundaries and then finding ways to enforce them.

How has your work life balance changed since you had kids and do you think it has changed for the better or worse?

It has forced me to take a good hard look at my work, my priorities and who I am as a person. I work less these days – but enjoy it as much as I used to (if not more).

Do you think your work life balance has changed as your kids have gotten older? How?

I’m probably a little too early into being a Dad to make too many observations about this. I can see that family will demand more of my focus as they grow in size and number. This worries me a little at times but I’m sure we’ll adapt to the challenges that it brings.

How important do you think it is to find time for just you and your spouse without the kids?

It’s essential. Not easy at times – but so important. We’re lucky to have three sets of parents and a lot of great friends who love to babysit which does enable V and I to have ‘dates’ – but it is something we should more.

What tips do you have to “unplug” from work? Can you completely unplug?

We just took a vacation. I resisted the temptation to take my laptop and mobile broadband and kept my phone switched off most the time. It’s about being disciplined and realizing that you’re not indispensable.

What activities and/or interests do you pursue as a means of relaxation?

I enjoy photography, reading, watching sport and traveling.

Darren, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences on how you have approached finding a balance between your family and your work.

Jeremy Schoemaker, known by many as Shoemoney, is one of the most recognizable names across the blogosphere.

Shoemoney is well known for his success within the ringtone niche and also developed, and subsequently sold, an eBay auction ad network known as AuctionAds.

But beyond all of the affiliate marketing expertise, the healthy AdSense checks and a home office that will make you drool, Jeremy is also a husband and a father.

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Jeremy about his thoughts on work life balance and what that has meant for his family as well as his career.

Can you please tell me a little about your family? How many kids do you have? How old are they?

Sure. I have been married for almost 4 years. My wife works full time as a Anesthesiologist. We have 1 child (so far) , Juliet – 17 months born June 23 2006

Can you provide a little bit of background on your career and professional interests?

In 1995 I got a job with a internet service provider who was going to offer dial up internet access. I started at the ground level. I did phone support for years until I decided I wanted to go back to college…. then I decided I was finished with college and found a niche as a system admin for banks.

In 2001ish I moved to Des Moines, Iowa and took a job with Wells Fargo Financial at there help desk. Within 2 years I worked my way all the way to be the lead Unix server security administrator. Shortly after reaching this position I met my wife in Des Moines. We date for a while then she moved to Omaha, NE. Our relationship continued long distance for the next 18 months until I was fired from Wells Fargo but quickly got a job with a company called Commercial Federal out of Omaha.

About 2 years after that we got married… but then I lost my job and started working on my company full time. 2 years after that we had our child Juliet.

How would you define work-life balance?

I don’t really… I always have my treo on me which sends me alerts and email. Whenever I get a second I am always monitoring emails and messages. Sometimes I just have to turn it off.

I would say I am pretty bad about letting go about business stuff. When I get to spend time with my daughter I just leave my cell phone at home. Its not like its a scheduled thing…. I think the key is to have people in place you trust that can handle things if it hits the fan and you are not available.

Do you feel that dads have a harder time achieving work-life balance than moms? If so, how?

I can only speak for our family and I can definitely say in our family my wife has a much harder time with it. Being I run my own company I am very flexible and fill in for dr appointments and what not. My wife many times is on call and her schedule is completely inflexible.

What do you personally find is your biggest struggle to achieving a healthy work-life balance?

Mentally letting go of frustrations. I am very obsessive about my work and one little thing unfinished will take away my focus from my family… I have to just send myself a email reminder and let it go. I have gotten much better about this but its still a struggle.

What do you remember from your own childhood with regard to your dad’s work-life balance? Was he around or always busy working? How has that influenced your own views on the subject?

My father was a 9-5 labor worker. He was very big in the UAW and held a position there for a while. He always tried to make time to do stuff with his kids. Unfortunately he had to work out of state from the time I was 11 years old until I was in my mid 20’s so he was absent a lot of my childhood.

How have you learned to identify when your work-life balance is too far out of balance in one direction?

I have and also my wife will make me aware when I haven’t. Its something I am always trying to improve on.

What is one of the biggest mistakes that you have made with regard to work-life balance?

Trying to think I could do something productive (work wise) while being the primary care taker of a infant

Have you faced any stigmas or criticism for focusing on your own work-life balance? Do you think focusing on your family has impacted your career? If so, how?

Without a doubt it has impacted my company(s). The most profitable time in our companies was right up until the birth of my daughter then it took a major nosedive for about 7 months until I came up with the AuctionAds idea. That really turned the ship around.

I have never been a good manager… of myself or others. Good structure and management skills I feel can help pull you through times like these. As we prepare to make more additions to our family I feel I am much more prepared now.

What is one thing that you wish you knew at an earlier age with regard to work-life balance? That is to say, what is one piece of advice that you would give to a new dad as he struggles to find his work-life balance?

Don’t worry about things you can’t control. Get an office outside the house if you do not have one already. That was really key for me.

How has your work life balance changed since you had kids and do you think it has changed for the better or worse?

At first it was way way worse but now its much better. I also feel my overall management and leadership abilities have improved along with those.

Do you think your work life balance has changed as your kids have gotten older? How?

Its still really to early to tell.

How important do you think it is to find time for just you and your spouse without the kids?

Oh god, crucial. Once a week we go out and have date night and get dinner and a movie. Its really nice.

What tips do you have to “unplug” from work? Can you completely unplug?

Really its about having a good foundation and people in place you can trust can handle things. If you have that then you can truly let go.

What activities and/or interests do you pursue as a means of relaxation?

This probably sounds sad but I get 1-2 hours a night I love to just lay in bed with my wife and hit the TiVo.

Jeremy, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts on work life balance and what that has meant to you as a husband and dad.

Thanks for the interview!

Husband Balance

It is easy to fall into the mindset that work-life balance means that you have found a balance between your work and the time you spend with your children. But work-life balance also means you have devoted time to be with your partner.

How often do you spend time with your wife without the children around?

It might seem like a silly question to ask but you might be surprised by the answer. When you arrive home from work, you may have dinner as a family or head outside for a little playtime before the kids go to bed. Once the kids are in bed though, do you and your wife do something together or do you each head off to do your own thing?

You may want to catch the end of the game while your wife sits in a different room and watches the television show of her choice. Or maybe you prefer to read a book while your wife surfs the Interweb. Regardless of what the activities may be, I think that there are quite a few couples that do their own thing rather than spend time together.

As a reminder, I’m not referring to the intimate time that you spend with your wife as I hope that is an activity spent together as opposed to each of you doing your own thing.

Finding My Husband Balance

Awhile back my wife and I had a conversation in which she expressed her feelings that I was not anywhere near the husband balance that she needed.

When I would arrive home from work, I would spend time with the kids until it was time for them to go to bed. We’d head outside to play some catch, shoot hoops or go for a bike ride. But once the kids were in bed I would usually head off to the computer to work on my blogs while my wife would read, watch television or sit less than five feet away surfing the Interweb.

I was guilty of thinking that because I was able to spend quality time with my family that I had a healthy balance between work and life. However, I was lacking in the area of husband balance.

After our conversation, I had posted on my personal site about my need to be a better husband and came up with the following points to devote my attention:

• Helping Hand
• Understanding
• Special
• Best Friend
• Anticipate
• Never-Ending Love
• Date Night

Since that time I have done a much better job of finding an appropriate balance between the time spent as a family with the time spent with just my wife. There is still work to be done but I am now more in tune with what I need to do to maintain my husband balance.

Have you been paying attention to your own husband balance?

1. Increase your fees. You may think that now is not the time to increase fees as doing so may upset the clients and customers you currently have. If this is a legitimate concern, you can keep your fees the same for current clients and just raise them for new clients. However, your products and skills have value, so make sure you’re charging what your worth.
2. Add products or services. This may require you to learn a new skill or develop a new product which can take time. But it can add value to your business, increase your credibility, and offer additional sources of income.
3. Expand your target market by creating a new niche.  If you’re business is geared towards mom, consider tweaking it and offering your products or services to a new group such as baby-boomers. Like adding products or services, it can take time to revamp your materials and create a new marketing strategy, but it can be well worth it. You’re not having to start from scratch, which can save time. And you can substantially increase your market.
4. Expand your marketing efforts. If you primarily marketing online, look at offline options and visa versa. Restudy your target market and find new ways to reach them.

In a good economy, when business is cruising along, many people simply ride the wave of success. But in a tough economy, creativity, ingenuity and elbow grease are required to keep things in the black. Doing so has the potential to change your business in fun and profitable ways.

Whether your kids are underfoot just for the summer or whether they are home full-time, working at home and parenting at the same time is challenging. Here are some tips that can help you manage work and family time.

Younger Kids:

If you’re kids are not in school, they need much more attention and supervision than older children. Its very difficult to focus on a work-at-home job or business while making macaroni and cheese or between showings of Dora the Explorer.  While you can take advantage of nap time and bed time, unless you can really live on just a few hours of sleep, it can be difficult to have the focus and energy needed to make money at home with a hour in the afternoon and a few hours in the middle of the night.

Options:

1) Pre-school programs provide fun and social stimulation that kids love while giving you a few hours of free time. I would drop my kids off, go to a local wi-fi cafe to work and pick them up again a few hours later (and a few buck richer).

2) Start or find a kid care co-op. This is run by moms all of whom take turns watching the kids. When its not your turn to provide care, you have free child care for a few hours.

3) Hire a student or retired person to watch your kids while you work. This works best if your office is away from your kids’ main activities in the house. You are home, but you don’t have to have one eye and ear on the kids while also trying to work.

School Age Kids

While kids are in school, you have a day to get lots done. I love that! But during breaks and holidays, the kids often want you to be on a break too. Because older kids can entertain themselves for a short time, you can get some work done, but usually only in hour or two spurts.

Options:

1) Summer programs offer the kids fun and educational opportunities while giving you time to work. Programs can be half or full day and come in a variety of activities. Even in my small rural area we’ve got day camps, trips to amusement parks, sports camp, outdoor trips, library reading programs, and more.

2) Summer activities. I have my kids choose activities that don’t require supervision that they can do at home. They have planted flower gardens, learned to bake, created art projects, read, and more.

3) Hyper-schedule the day. My kids are good about entertaining themselves first thing in the morning, but after a couple of hours they are wanting me to do something with them. My answer is to work in short shifts. I work about 2 hours in the morning, and then take a break to play a game or spend time with them. Then I work another couple of hours and break again usually to take them to the pool. This schedule means I often have to work some in the evening, but by then my husband is home and he can spend time with them.

4) Hire a student to be an older buddy. Teenagers can take the kids to the pool, play games, and be a great buddy to your kids while you work.

This week’s Spark an Idea deals with making a new business ally.

Often working at home can feel like a lonely and stressful endeavor. You’re responsible for all aspects of earning an income and the burden of its success or failure rides on your shoulders. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Finding a good business ally can offer support, feedback and even a partnership in projects, and the results can mean increased profits for you.

Some WAHMs are resistant to reaching out to other people. For me it was because I was a die-hard-do-it-yourselfer. For others it could be a lack of confidence in what you have to offer someone else. Or maybe its a fear that others will steal ideas or take advantage. But the benefits far outweigh the concerns and in fact, finding a good ally can boost your business in ways you may have never expected.

There are several ways to find a business ally. One is by joining a mastermind group. Members of these groups are already open to sharing, helping, and joining in partnerships. It can be like getting a whole team of allies instead of just one.

Another options is through social networking. Linked-In in particular is a good place to make business contacts. But other social resources such as Facebook and Twitter are also great places for finding allies.

Finally, if you’ve been in your business for some time, you probably are aware of others who offer similar products or services as you do. You may have the mind set that these people are your competition, but they can also make excellent allies as well.

Like all quality relationships, creating a business ally takes time. Don’t expect to contact someone out of the blue and have them jump into a project with you. They need to get to know you, your strengths and assets just as you need to get to know theirs. Connecting through a mastermind group and social networks makes this easy. You can ask or answer questions that allow you have conversations with others. When you find someone you feel is a good fit with your business, you can reach out to her in a way that helps both you and her. For example you can invite her to guest blog on your site or be a guest on your podcast. If she does something that you like, compliment her on it and see if she can help you do something similar. As the relationship grows, not only will you have a great source of support and feedback on your work, but also you have a resource to learn more and even get referrals.

The most important thing to remember about allies is that its a two-way street. Each member of the ally team needs to be giving and receiving for it to be mutually beneficial and profitable. That means you need to also provide support, feedback and resources that can help your ally just as she is doing the same for you. Together you and your ally can expand your customer bases, flesh out ideas, and grow your profits!

Sparkplugging leader, Wendy Piersall, has been making some changes on the network, closing down a few blogs that didn’t take off and beefing up some of the others.  We decided it would be great to add more bloggers to this blog and  in no time at all I found two great work at home moms to join me here on WAHM 2.0.  I have to say that I’m totally geeked about it!

So, Meet Our New Bloggers:

Leslie Truex is well known in the WAHM Community.  Owner of Work at Home Success and author of the newly published Work at Home Success Bible, Leslie is cares deeply about moms finding high quality resources.

I’ve had the chance to get to know Leslie at Mom Masterminds and I’ve had the pleasure of her company as a guest on WAHM Talk Radio and her expertise as a guest speaker at my summertime Hot Seminar Series.  She has a lot to share with us and I know she’s going to be a great addition here at Sparkplugging.

Laurie Ayers is a successful direct seller with Scentsy and a gifted writer.  While she rarely takes on clients these days she is an experienced ghostwriter that I have really enjoyed working with over the years.  A fellow single mom, Laurie knows what it’s like to struggle to build an income in the face of many obstacles.  She keeps it real and usually keeps it funny too 😉

Please welcome Leslie and Laurie and show them some comment love as they dip their feet into the Sparkplugging waters

When I first meet someone offline and get to share about what I do online they are invariably impressed and a little awestruck at the idea of running an entire business with multiple streams of income from a computer in my home office and a BlackBerry.

A friend recently quipped, “I have hard time downloading my email – and you’re downloading a paycheck day after day without batting an eye!”

The internet is not a cash machine like some hype marketers would have you believe and being a work at home mom doesn’t turn your web browser into a guaranteed three diamonds slots game – but it does present an amazing opportunity for those willing to learn the principles of internet marketing.

Meet some great Digital Moms that we’ve featured here on the WAHM 2.0 blog over the last year and be inspired by what they’re doing to build an income online:

• Alyssa Avant
• Laurie Ayers
• Tiffany Dow
• Alice Seba
• Carrie Lauth
• Annette Yen
• Mel Spier
• Tara Brown
• Vera Raposo
• Lynette Chandler
• Jill Hart
• Sarah Zeldman
• Nola Cooper
• Crissy Gipson
• Barbara Ryan

Work at Home Moms aren’t just using the internet, they are mastering it

Amy is a fresh face among moms working to build a business income on the interwebs and she’s proven that having a fresh set of eyes has advantages.  Within weeks of launching her own blog, she discovered an interesting niche offering Twitter based ‘Site Warming Parties’ which has turned into a lucrative business model with lots of great potential.

How many Twitter loving moms are shaking their heads right now, wondering ‘Why didn’t I think of that?!’

I’m telling you, sometimes it’s the new mom on the block who can spot and develop a idea that everyone else has missed.

That’s great news for new work at home moms – being new and inexperienced isn’t all bad.  It’s also a challenge for those of us who have been around for awhile.  We can’t get set in our ways, always doing the same old same old thing.

Want to hear my interview with Amy?  You’ll have to be a Mom Masterminds Member since this recording was made especially for them 😉

I knew I wouldn’t be able to swing the trip to BlissDom myself – but I haven’t let that slow me down as far as enjoying the event and observing from afar.

I actually sponsored two mom bloggers who lived within driving distance to attend BlissDom.

Carrie Lauth of Natural Moms Talk Radio is representing Mom Masterminds – wearing a MM t-shirt and passing out special deal cards to everyone she sees.

Alyssa Avant of Life from my Laptop is representing Mom’s Talk Network, she’s passing out cards with a great deal for mom bloggers who sign up for the Mom’s Talk Affiliates program.

Last but not least, I’m monitoring all the great tweets coming out of the BlissDom sessions.  (I set up a search for the #BlissDom09 hashtag on my TweetDeck.)

So even though I’m not there – I’m definitely getting my bliss on 😉

I’m talking about the new Mom’s Talk Affiliates Podcast that I’ve just launched with my Affiliate Manager, Tishia Lee.  We’re doing it to equip our affiliates for success and hopefully to attract new affiliates.  Each episode is only about 15 minutes long.

This is hour it all breaks down:

• Pre-Planning: 15 Minutes (Created a quick list of questions to cover for each episode.)
• Recording: 80 Minutes (One Back to Back Session)
• Editing/Production:  60 Minutes (Removed oopsies, added music and commercials)
• Publishing: 20 Minutes (Wrote short show notes and scheduled in WordPress)

Ok, I’ll admit that I’ve got a pretty high advantage in having hosted and produced my own podcast for over five years now – but even if you can’t get it all done in three hours, I hope you can see that you CAN start a podcast with a limited amount of time

Better yet, you can hire a great VA like Christina over at MultiMedia VA to do all the heavy lifting 😉

Want to brainstorm some ways that a podcast can help you achieve your business goals?  I’m available!

• Are You Afraid of Making Offers?
• Free WordPress SEO Tips from Rae Hoffman
• 13 Ways We Had to Change Our Mindset as Single WAHMs
• Get What You Want Online
• Get More Web Traffic
• I Need To Make More Money Now!
• Podcasting Ideas for the WAHM
• 10 Cool Ways to Be More Friendly on Twitter
• Your Face on the Web
• Add a Niche Directory for New Income
• Shouldn’t We Be Able To Trust Each Other?
• A Man is Not a Financial Plan
• Evaluating Business Ideas: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Congratulations to our Outstanding Winners and my thanks to all those who took the time to vote for their favorite WAHM Blogs!

Nicole on the Net by Nicole Dean

Work at Home Moms Talk Radio by Kelly McCausey

Work at Home Mom Revolution by Lisa Mills

Frugal WAHMs Talk Radio by Angela Wenke & Others

Blah blah blah blog by Carrie Lauth

Five Minutes for Mom by Susan & Janice

They Call Me Wahmmy by Arika Lewis

Wahm Cafe by Dianne Fratscher

Moomettesgram’s Musings – by Cindi

Working Wahm by Val Selby

Winners, display your badge proudly and please send an email to support@momstalknetwork.com to claim your prize package!

The Amazing Prize Package:

• 1 Yr Membership to Mom Masterminds ($270) From Lynette Chandler & Kelly McCausey
• Free One on One Coaching Certificate ($75) From Mom’s Talk Biz
• Information Product Sweetie ($37.95) From Alice Seba
• Mini Site Templates & Graphics ($17.00) From Wendy Wood
• SparklugU Self Study Course of Choice ($30-50 Value) From Wendy Piersall
• Optimizing Your Workflow ($19.99) From Anne Marie Martin
• Yummy PLR Article Pack ($10.00) From Arika Liddiard
• Affiliate Commotion Course ($47.00) From Angela Wills
• Featured Giveaway Listing ($10) From Courtney Chowning
• Offline Marketing Report ($12.99) From Crystal Unrau & Tracy Roberts
• Internet Strategy ($10) From Elizabeth Ashe
• Traffic Tips PLR eCourse ($15) From Nicole Dean
• How to Improve Your Writing ($15) From Jimmy D. Brown
• How to SEO Your Site in 60 Minutes ($25) From Matt McGee
• DIY Email Marketing & DIY Press Releases ($40) From Susan Payton
• Natural Mom Business Guide ($40) From Carrie Lauth
• 1 PLR Pack from Natural Mom PLR ($12.97) From Carrie Lauth & Tiffany Washko
• Mini Course Money ($27.00) from Carrie Lauth & Marie Ynami
• Tips for Home Office eBooklet & Organization Audio ($10) From Brandie Kajino
• Kickstart Your Online Business ($9.99) From Anita DeFrank
• Advertising Gift Certificate ($30) From Mommy’s Helper Online