Speak Schmeak

How is a speaker like a cinnamon roll cake?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:11:38 PST

Kathy Shields' cinnamon roll cake at Savoy Cafe

Yesterday I met a friend for an afternoon treat at one of my favorite Santa Barbara eateries: Savoy Cafe and Deli. Hubby and I have known the owners, Paul and Kathy Shields, for many years, and we love to support our friends and local businesses. (Stay tuned, by the way, for an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, where you'll see me and my husband eating a meal at Savoy on camera!)

As I stepped up to the counter, Kathy saw me and invited me into the kitchen to show me her fresh-from-the-oven cinnamon roll cake. We chatted for a bit as she cut a slice and put it on a plate for Paul. She told me that she always cuts out a piece from a fresh cake before she puts it into the case, so the customers can see what's inside. It seems that customers are more likely to purchase a piece from an already-cut cake rather than a whole one. The interesting things one learns from trial and error in business!

It made me think (of course) of what we do as speakers. Audiences (our customers) also seem to prefer a speaker with a piece cut out in order to get a glimpse of our "insides."

When a speaker is too perfect, it's more difficult for the audience to relate to them and their message. But when a speaker shows some vulnerability, some imperfection, the audience realizes we're human, too. And if we can do it (whatever "it" may be), they can do it, too.

Are you a speaker who obsesses about being perfect, or are you a speaker who values connection over perfection?

And the cinnamon roll cake? It was as good as it looked!

Can the audience read your scribble?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:48:54 PST

Here's another topic speakers don't talk about enough: Your handwriting.

You may have great content, smooth delivery, great audience connection, a sharp outfit, well-groomed eyebrows and a well-rounded sense of humor, but if you're going to write on a flip chart, white board or overhead, your handwriting better damn well be legible.

I heard about a seminar recently where the speaker was all of the above. Then he started writing on a flip chart and his content went out the window. Interestingly, during that workshop, a video was shown of the speaker giving an earlier presentation, and his writing was equally illegible. So it wasn't just a one-time, guy-in-a-hurry type thing. His handwriting was always bad, and he just didn't care.

If you're going to use a flip chart (and flip charts are great for recording audience interaction and saving notes to refer back to during the presentation), then print large, clear letters, and write slowly. If you know you have sloppy handwriting, make a conscious effort to write more neatly. If you think your handwriting is neat and tidy, STILL make an effort to write more neatly.

If it's easier for you to write neatly when you write small, consider using overheads or a tool like Papershow, that allows you to write on paper but show it on the same screen where you're showing your PowerPoint.

It's a tiny detail, but it makes all the difference in whether the audience is able to follow your ideas.

Here's a nice short video with a great tip for making your writing more legible. And below, a video with additional flip chart tips. Enjoy!

It's the little (hairy) things....

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:15:12 PST

On The Ellen Show last week, Kenneth Branagh was a guest, talking about his movie "My Week With Marilyn." Ellen asked him what he does to prepare for awards shows like The Golden Globes, which was forthcoming.

I've heard a lot of celebrities' and speakers' preparation routines and rituals, but this is one I've never heard mentioned on national television: trimming eyebrows and nose and ear hair.

Branagh commented that, as he's gotten older, he has developed more unruly hairs and he doesn't want that to be what people see when he's on the red carpet. It's a practical consideration as well for anyone who's going to be presenting or giving an acceptance speech onstage, with cameras enlarging your face on the TV screen for all to see.

Personal grooming habits are not often spoken about, so let's do it. Personally, I wish I took better care of my fingernails. I'm a nail biter, and while I've gone years at a time keeping them manicured and neat, I've also gone years with bitten uneven nail nubs. I'm also a big fan of eyebrow tweezing, as are a lot of women (and these days, men as well). Like Branagh, I've noticed the unruliness of eyebrows that comes with age, and I also like the way keeping my eyebrows clean opens up my face and eyes, making me look more alert and awake!

Question to my readers: In addition to those hairy body parts that Branagh mentions, what other aspects of personal grooming do you think are important for a speaker to look polished and professional?

Surviving the mini-presentation: Your self-introduction

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:29:29 PST

Last night, hubby and I attended a dinner hosted by one of the distributors he works with in his job at a specialty foods store. We've been at a trade show for the past few days, and this is a typical evening: cocktail party hosted by one vendor, dinner hosted by another. It's always fun to meet new people and have time for relaxing and socializing, as walking the show (more standing than walking) for seven hours each day is a lot of work and pretty exhausting.

At dinner, one of our hosts stood up and suggested that we all go around and introduce ourselves, including sharing something that no one at the table would know about us. Of course, I was thrilled! I love this stuff, right? But I imagine that at least half the people at the table went into an instant panic. Including my husband. He later described his reaction to me.

First, his stomach did a flip-flop. Then he started thinking about what he wanted to say. While thinking about his own introduction, he was trying to hear what others in the room were saying, but was distracted by his own thoughts. He tried to plan his intro only during the applause breaks, but he still missed some of the others' introductions. As it got closer and closer to his turn, he got more and more anxious. When it was time for him to introduce himself, he stood up, spoke (and gave a very funny intro, I might add), and didn't hear a word that came out of his mouth. He didn't start to comprehend what he had said until I started speaking next.

Does this sound familiar to any of you?

The self-introduction is the mini version of any other presentation you might give. If you plan it well, it can have an opening, a closing and a body, just like any other speech. It can have humor, it can be memorable, and it can influence your audience. It can also be poorly prepared, uninteresting, and forgettable. And it can make you really nervous, distracting you from listening to the other people in the room, which is the purpose of the intros in the first place.

I suggest always being prepared to give a basic self-introduction. When the time comes, even if someone tacks on an extra activity like stating something no one knows about you, you'll already have the basics in place. There are different situations where you might give a self-intro, but let's just talk about our typical business meeting or event. You know you're going to share your name and your occupation, but what else might people want to know and how can you make it interesting and relevant for them?

Say you've been at your company for ten years and you want to share that. But instead of saying, "I've been with ACME Magnets for ten years," you could say "I've been with ACME Magnets since 2002, the first year the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl." If you're not a football fan, maybe you'll say, "I started at ACME Magnets in 2002, the year Shrek won the first Best Animated Feature Award at the Oscars." How can you say the same old thing in a new way? How can you always be prepared with a snappy introduction that shows your personality and helps people get to know you a bit?

In addition to having your self-introduction mostly prepared, try to give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts when it's finally your turn. Don't start speaking until you're fully standing. Take a moment to look around the room and smile. Breathe. Feel your feet on the floor. Make eye contact with one or two people. Then start speaking. (Read my post on grounding for more on this.) Project your voice so everyone can hear you. Take your time. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight. Finish speaking before you sit down.

I'm not suggesting that your self-intro has to be the most fascinating speech ever. For most of us, it will be under 30 seconds and does not have to be elaborate. But having some basic ideas in place about what you want to say will reduce your nervousness when the time comes, and will also allow you to listen to what your colleagues are saying so you can learn something about them, just as you hope they'll learn something about you.

Speaking on Skype: They can still see you.

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:00:05 PST

More and more of us are using Skype and other video chat platforms to hold meetings and coaching sessions. It's convenient, we don't have to leave the home or office, and it allows us to converse with people in different cities, states and countries.

Video chat comes with its own set of rules and etiquette that parallel public speaking rules in some ways, and are completely unique in other ways. Here are a couple of tips to help you make the most of your next video chat.

1. Look at the camera, not the screen.

This one is really hard, because we want to look into the face of the person we're speaking with. But if you look at your computer screen, you're not actually looking into the person's eyes. You are looking somewhere below them (assuming your camera is placed or embedded above your monitor). Looking into the camera ensures you are making eye contact, even though it doesn't feel like it on your end!

A client's solution is to put a little sticker or a picture of a face next to the camera so she remembers to look there.

2. Dress appropriately.

We've all seen the videos online of people who were dressed appropriately from the waist up and had to suddenly get up from the call, revealing undergarments or pajamas from the waist down. This video is particularly funny, although I'm pretty sure it's a PSA and not a real event.

Comb your hair, brush your teeth, dress yourself from top to bottom, and once you sit down in front of the camera, be ready to go and assume you're being watched. If you have food in your teeth from lunch, use your toothpick before you get in front of the camera.

3. Test your equipment beforehand.

Don't make the other people in your meeting wait while you fiddle with the camera settings, adjust your microphone and test your lighting. If you're not familiar with your equipment or software like Skype, learn about it before the call.

4. Remove distractions.

Turn off the ringers on your cellphone and landline and turn off your printer (mine chooses inopportune times to loudly recalibrate itself). If you work from a home office, make sure the cat or dog is in another room, your child has someone or something to occupy her, and the TV or radio are turned off (or down if someone is using them).

It's not always possible to avoid or control distractions. In my last house, I had no options for removing our chatty cat from my workspace, and she always wanted to talk, especially when I was on the phone. I would briefly excuse myself from the call, move her to another place in the room and give her a couple of back scratches, and that was usually enough to get through the rest of the call in quiet. Do your best, and be respectful of the other people on the call.

5. Remember: People can see you.

Sometimes we feel almost invisible on a video call. Because you may be sitting alone in a room, it seems like you're really alone. But others are watching you and noticing your facial expressions, whether you're typing on your phone, whether you're slouching in your chair or if you have your feet on the desk. Behave the same way you would if you were in the same room as the others in the meeting, like a professional.

These are just a few things to apply to your next video chat. If you want to learn now to be really great on camera, check out Ruth Sherman's offerings, like her upcoming Video Charisma course.

Does your audience have a reason to listen for another minute?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:00:03 PST

I read this great quote in an article called "What Business Really Thinks of the MBA," about what students are missing in current business school education.

In the book, "Rethinking the MBA: Business Education at a Crossroads," an executive who was interviewed said:

"Students fail to deliver the important message up front. I'm often asked to review their five-minute pitch for a business plan, but after the first minute they still haven't given me a reason to listen for the next four."

Is this not true of every presentation? Sure, the audience is paying attention to you when you start your presentation; they've got no choice, really, unless you are so quiet and low-key that they literally do not realize you've begun. Otherwise, they're looking at you, they're listening to you, and they're anticipating what comes next.

Unless...

Unless you don't give them a reason to get excited about what comes next. Unless your opening is so dull and uninteresting that they decide checking e-mail or Facebook is a better use of their time.

What you do in the first minute of your presentation just gets people to listen for the second minute. What you do in the fifth minute keeps them paying attention until the sixth minute. And what you do in the 27th minute keeps them hanging on till the 28th minute.

Engaging the audience is an ongoing prospect. It's not something you do one time and win them over for the whole hour. People's minds drift, they get distracted, they become engaged in their own thoughts. You must continue to read the audience, bring them back to your world, stimulate their emotions through stories, analogies, visuals, humor and conviction, make them feel like rock stars, let them see the real you, connect with and relate to them, and forget about perfection.

Here are a bunch more posts about engaging the audience. Remember that the first few minutes are still a critical period in your presentation, that set the stage for the rest of your time. But every minute of your presentation is an opportunity to keep the audience engaged for the next minute and the next and the next, until you've succeeded in creating a complete experience.

Some audience members will remember discrete moments of your presentation. Others will remember particular visuals, stories or laughter. But the more of these moments you can string together, the more the audience will take with them a whole picture of rewarding time spent with you.

12 Speaking Challenges for 2012 - have you joined?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 09:05:17 PST

Have you joined my 12 Speaking Challenges for 2012 yet? Build your "confidence muscles" with 12 monthly challenges designed to help you get out of your comfort zone and build confidence in a variety of settings that will prepare you for your upcoming speaking engagements!

Click here for the first challenge, Make Eye Contact, and then join the discussion on my Facebook group (you have make a request to join, but it's an open group and everyone is welcome).

If you want to participate in my monthly discussion calls and receive additional resources, handouts and support e-mails, consider joining the Full program. For the month of January, the Full program is only $1!

We've just gotten started and you can join any time throughout the year, but you'll get the most out of the program if you start at the beginning! See you soon!

Stand or sit, and why does it matter?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:48:50 PST

When we think of public speaking, the traditional image that comes to mind is a person standing in the front of a room full of people. However, there are a variety of formats for what can be considered public speaking, such as leading a meeting, making a sales call, participating in a panel or round table discussion, or speaking to individuals at a networking event.

A common denominator at most speaking engagements is that the speaker or speakers tend to stand in front of the group. But sometimes speakers are seated. How do you know if you should sit or stand? And what other considerations are there if you choose to sit?

There are occasions when people sit to give presentations. At conference tables, on panels, and in other small venues, it can be considered awkward to stand when speaking. Here are some tips to help you decide what's appropriate.

1. What is customary for the particular group?

If it's your regular staff meeting, and typically no one stands when speaking, and everyone can be seen and heard clearly around the table, then it's okay to stay seated. If you have something important to share and you want to give your announcement extra weight, then by all means stand.

If you are a guest speaker, however, and are giving a formal presentation to a group sitting at a conference table, you should stand. It gives you authority, it helps the audience pay better attention, and your eye contact and body language are more accessible to the group.

2. Are you on a raised stage, or are you at eye level with the audience?

On a panel where several people are seated in chairs, sometimes behind a table and sometimes not, it's also customary to stay seated. This is usually because panelists alternate answering questions and presenting information, and to have people stand, then sit, then stand, then sit, is awkward.

However, if the panel is not on a stage, and you're seated at eye level with the audience, and there are more than 20 or 30 people in the room, then you should stand. You won't be effective as a speaker if the audience can't see or hear you, or if they have to crane their necks to look over or around people seated in front of them. Facial expressions and body language are such an important part of communication; your audience shouldn't miss this aspect of your presentation.

3. How intimate is the group size?

Sometimes you choose to sit because it brings you physically and emotionally closer to the group. For example, on a sales call you may prefer to sit at a table and converse with your client rather than stand and put distance between you. If the group is small and the seating is in a circle or U shape, you can probably stay seated, as this arrangement is meant to put everyone at ease and on the same level. In this case, your role may be more of a facilitator than a formal presenter.

In all of these situations, if you are coming in from the outside to speak, you should always check with the organizer of the event to find out what they prefer, and discuss any changes you want to make to the seating arrangement.

Additional considerations for seated presentations

If you are going to be seated, and you are a woman who wears skirts, you must be aware of where you will sit in relation to the audience and you must pay attention to the length of your skirt. You don't want to show too much leg, or your undergarments. I have some tights with a layer of extra reinforcement from the waist to about the mid thigh. If I sit down in a too-short skirt, that darker layer peeks out from under my skirt and I have to spend all my time focusing on my skirt rather than the people I'm speaking to. (Thank goodness this has not happened in a presentation, only in a social setting.)

For men and women who wear pants to a presentation, the audience can see your socks or hosiery when you sit on a raised stage, so make sure they match and aren't ratty or inappropriate with your outfit.

Also, when we sit, sometimes our tummies bulge over our waistbands a bit. If you are uncomfortable with this, or your buttons will be strained against your belly, be conscious of wearing anything tight or clingy. See my blog post on Wanda Sykes for an example.

When you dress for your engagement, practice sitting, standing and bending in your outfit. If any of these positions are uncomfortable or precarious, change the offending piece of clothing. There are so many more important things to be thinking about during a presentation than whether your slip is showing or if everyone can tell it's laundry day because of the gym socks under your suit trousers.

A message to those who create presentations for others

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:57:47 PST

It occurs to me this morning that the reason so many presentations are bad is that the speaker is at the mercy of a supervisor or another department and has no control over the material or the agenda.

The corporate office, the marketing department, or some other entity sends the presentation, already complete with slides and materials, to the hapless speaker, and expects the speaker to deliver it effectively. Or there is some arbitrary limitation imposed on the speaker (like the speaker's boss only allows presentations with ten slides -- true story), so the speaker has to jump through ridiculous hoops to make the presentation work.

This post is for you: the boss, the marketing director, the corporate honcho. The person who creates a presentation for someone else to deliver.

You may not have to deliver the presentation, but you still have a responsibility to the audience. Just because they don't see your face on stage doesn't mean you are absolved when your crappy presentation confuses the audience or bores them to death. If your employees or co-workers don't understand the new product specs or last year's financials, you are partly (or mostly) to blame.

Your employee will do her best to present your material, but if you only give her five days to prepare an 8-hour meeting (true story), there is only so much she can do to make your content shine. If you give her slides laden with run-on bullet points and no visual stimulation or variety, there's only so much she can do to make sure the audience is engaged and interested. If you ask her to present nothing more than statistics and charts, there's only so much she can do to make them care.

I've worked with your employees, and together we've made these presentations better, more compelling and more useful and relevant to the audience. But if we had started with a diamond instead of coal it wouldn't have been so much extra work, and the presentations would have been even better.

I've already given suggestions to your employee about how to deliver someone else's slideshow or script.

Now here's my request of you: Consider crafting a presentation that you would be proud to deliver. If you were going to stand up in front of that audience and share the latest market research, and you were going to take credit for the presentation, how would you want to come across? Would you want to put the audience to sleep, or would you want them to find the information as interesting and important as you do? Would you want them to be confused and unable to focus, or would you want them to hang on every detail and start thinking about how they can implement your ideas right away?

If the presentation is a waste of time for you to deliver, it's a waste of time for someone else to deliver. Take pride in your material and your message and make it worthwhile for the audience to sit through it. Give your speaker a fighting chance to give a great presentation and impact the audience in a way that is rewarding to everyone involved.

12for12 January Challenge: Make eye contact

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:33:06 PST

Greetings and Happy New Year!

Today is the day we kick off 12 Speaking Challenges for 2012! If you are a Lite member, you can follow along with the discussion on my 12for12 group on Facebook. If you are a Full member, you can participate in the Facebook group and will also have access to a separate membership-only site, a monthly call, supportive e-mails, downloadable handouts and more.

And for the month of January, the Full membership is only $1! Tweet the monthly challenges using hashtag #12speakingchallenges.

Now, for our first challenge: Make Eye Contact.

Each month, there will be several levels to the challenge, so you can tailor the challenge to your own level of comfort. But remember, this is all about getting out of your comfort zone. So if the Level 1 challenge seems difficult, but you accomplish it, then move onto the next level. You have a whole month to practice!

Some of you are looking at this challenge and thinking, "Seriously?" But bear with me.

I roll my eyes when I read a public speaking article that recommends looking at the back wall instead of your audience, to make it appear as though you are giving eye contact to the whole group.

Eye contact is an uncomfortable and extremely intimate aspect of speaking for many people, but it's critical to making the human connection with your audience.

If you're in a large room, you can look at sections of people, but you will eventually need to connect with individuals. The good thing about a large group is that, if you connect with one person, everyone around that person feels part of the connection. In a small room, you have no choice but to look right at people. They can tell if you're avoiding them!

I find that eye contact is more comfortable when I've made friends before the presentation has begun. That is, as people arrive, I say hello, ask a few questions, and get to know the audience members a little.

Once I start my talk, I feel like I already know a few people in the room, and those friendly faces are the ones I seek out first.

It's always easier to make eye contact with the friendly faces than the scowly ones, of course, but don't give up on those folks! They may just have a different way of learning and engaging.

Eye Contact Challenge

Level 1: Make eye contact with a stranger.

As you're walking around town this week, make an effort to look into the eyes of someone you don't know. Staring is creepy, so you only need to look at the person briefly to see that they acknowledge you, then feel free to look away. Smiling adds a friendly touch, and makes eye contact easier.

Those of you who wear sunglasses all the time, like I do, you will have to smile or no one will know you're looking at them.

Some people won't acknowledge you by returning eye contact. No worries. They are probably uncomfortable with eye contact, and also not participating in this challenge. Try the next person.

Level 2: Make eye contact with a stranger -- and make a comment.

The next step of this challenge, for those of you who find eye contact to be very easy, will be to engage with a stranger. The easiest way to engage a stranger is to compliment them on something. "I love your jacket." "Nice car!" "What a cute puppy." It's nonthreatening, and everyone walks away with a smile on their faces.

You don't have to keep up a conversation. Make your comment and smile. They will acknowledge you, and you're done.

Level 3: Make eye contact with a stranger -- and ask a question.

The third level of this challenge is for those of you who find the comment easy enough and want to stretch yourself more. You will engage a stranger by asking a question. You might ask a store clerk where to find the cat toys. You might ask the person next to you at the movies if they have the time. Maybe you extend the compliment you gave someone into a question, like "What a cute puppy. What kind of dog is she?"

To a shy person like myself (yep, I'm shy), asking a question of a stranger can be excruciating. We already know how much some people will drive around in circles for hours rather than ask for directions... Lots of us hate asking for help or trying to get someone's attention, but it's an important step in building confidence!

Asking a question comes with a risk of starting a conversation. You run the risk of getting to know a stranger a little. You might actually learn something about that cashier you see every couple of days at Trader Joe's or the person who exercises at the track at the same time as you every day (These are both experiences I've had. Here's what I wrote about the conversation with the Trader Joe's cashier).

Now, once you've completed your challenge, come over to the 12for12 Facebook group and leave your comments. And remember: You have all month to practice. So when you've completed your challenge, do it again. And again. And again. And when that level becomes comfortable for you, try the next one. And then the next one.

And what if you've done them all and you're resting on your laurels? Maybe you can think of yet another level to add! Maybe you got really brave and touched someone on the arm to get their attention, for example, and that was a stretch for you. If you do get creative, report back at the Facebook group and let us know what you did, so maybe others can try the same thing!

Ready, set, GO!

12 Speaking Challenges for 2012 launches January 2!

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 09:05:45 PST

Wouldn't you love to radiate confidence as a speaker?

Whether you're onstage, in a staff meeting, or mingling at a networking event, confidence is often the difference between being heard and remembered, and being forgotten the minute the meeting is over.

How do you build confidence? Through baby steps. Through careful planning and preparation, embracing your uniqueness, trusting your gut, trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone, learning from missteps and acknowledging accomplishments.

All of these aspects of confidence will be addressed in my program, "12 Speaking Challenges for 2012!"

Join my Facebook community and follow the monthly challenges through my blog posts and discussions for FREE (Lite program), or go more in depth with a monthly support call, motivational e-mails and downloadable handouts in my Full program.

Whether you speak for your job, your business or your favorite nonprofit organization, building confidence is a must.

And if you're stuck in a rut, doing the same thing over and over, wanting to break out of boring old habits, but feeling anxious and afraid, this is the place for you!

Each month's challenge will tackle a different aspect of speaking, although most will not actually involve any public speaking!

I will offer several levels for each challenge, so that whether you speak regularly or infrequently, you can still participate at your own level each month.

This program is about getting you ready, so when the speaking engagement comes, you'll face it with courage and excitement!

Join my Facebook group here for both Lite and Full versions of the program. Register for the Full program here.

What paralyzes you?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:57:09 PST

Do you ever feel like you should do something, or want to do something, but you're paralyzed? Something's holding you back, but what is it?

For me, it's overthinking. I have a hard time moving forward when I'm busy trying to get every detail right. For you, it might be overthinking, or fear of failure, or procrastination, or a million other things.

For those of you who feel like you can't make a move without a big kick in the butt, this Todd Rundgren/Utopia song's for you. It's clearly about someone who can't get out of a bad relationship, although he knows he should. But I like it as a kick in the butt. I play it during my workouts to tell my feet, literally, to get me to the end of my walk.

What paralyzes you?

If you're unable to see the video, click here to go to the site.

Here are the lyrics:

Can’t you see, she don’t want you around no more
Can’t you see, that her hand’s pointing at the door
Feet don’t fail me now
How could anyone stay
Anyone could see it’s time to go away
Time to take a powder
Open up your eyes
But it feels like my legs have been paralyzed

Feet don’t fail me now
Begging please don’t make a fool of me
Feet don’t fail me now
Please don’t keep me where I should not be
Feet don’t fail me now
Stop pretending that you’ve gone to sleep
Feet don’t fail me now
Begging please don’t make a fool of me

See your things piled in the hall
Turn around, there’s a new picture on the wall
Feet don’t fail me now
We’re the last ones to know
Anyone could see it’s time for us to go
Time to hit the highway
Nothing left to do
But it feels like my shoes have been crazy glued

And here's a live performance from 1982. There's some dialog; the song starts at 1:33.

Is the barrier real?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:50:49 PST

On my regular 3-mile walk, I have started cutting through the Earl Warren Showgrounds property near my neighborhood, because it shortens the distance I have to walk along the shoulder of a busy thoroughfare. The showgrounds are home to fairs, festivals, horse shows, cat shows, Christmas tree vendors and any other event that needs a big space and a big parking lot.

Entering the property from Entrance C, I encountered this closed gate.

The first time I walked through the property, I eyed the situation and went under the gate.

It made sense, but it was a little tight, especially with my backpack.

The next time I walked through, I decided to see if I could squeeze through the space between the end of the gate and the fence.

I could get through, but it was still pretty tight. And when I'm on a power walk, I don't want anything to slow me down!

The next time, I eyed the gate again, studying it for clues as to the best way to get past it.

And then I realized that the biggest opening was the one inside the gate.

I bent over, slipped through, and continued on my way.

How did I not see this HUGE opening in the gate? Somehow, even though the gate was just an open triangle of bars, I had looked at the center of it as somehow solid and impassable.

Going around the gate didn't work. Going under the gate didn't work. Going THROUGH the gate was the easiest path! But I never saw it until I had walked that way for days.

Are you imagining barriers that aren't really there?

Do you avoid public speaking because you think you're too boring, you're too shy, you're too disorganized, you're too loud, you're too quiet, you're too "something?" Or not enough of something? And is this a real problem, or are you just imagining it to be?

Sometimes we imagine the audience is judging us or doesn't like us or isn't listening. Is it true, or is your fear and insecurity getting in the way of your connection with the audience?

Maybe the barriers are all in your head. At least entertain the thought.

And then decide how you're going to break down those invisible barriers -- my series on Thought Traps is a good place to start.

Knocking down the barriers opens up new paths and new experiences. Don't let what's in your head stand in the way of your progress in the tangible, concrete world around you.

Do you have a memorable one-liner?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 09:11:41 PST

One of my regular networking groups gives several opportunities to practice speaking each month. We go around the room introducing ourselves, once at the beginning and once at the end, delivering what's called our "30-second commercial." There's also an opportunity each month for three members of the group to deliver longer presentations about their work.

Some of the group members don't bother to take advantage of this amazing opportunity to continually improve their content. They repeat the same information month after month, never bothering to vary their basic storyline. But I'm happy to say that most of the people in the group do make the effort to engage the rest of us with creative descriptions of what they do and how it benefits their clients and customers.

One of the most effective ways to create a memorable ("sticky") idea that remains with your audience long after the presentation is to come up with a clever one-liner or sentence that resonates with the audience. It can be a tagline, a motto, a slogan, or it can just be a creative way of stating a concept that people will remember. Here are a few I've heard from our group members recently.

Ellen (who I've mentioned before, here and here) is one of my former group coaching clients. She sells healthy household products. In her recent presentation, describing why she believes so strongly in her products, she stated, "I want to live until I die." She meant that she didn't want to live a long life but be incapacitated. She wanted to be living an active lifestyle till the end. Succinct and powerful.

In the same presentation, she told us, "Good health is an investment, not a purchase." I thought this was such a standout line that I considered stealing it and tweaking it for my business!

Stephanie, an optometrist (who I've written about here and here), gave us this clever and profound reminder to get our eyes checked in her recent commercial: "When your world is in focus, you can connect with it better."

And then there was Russell, a painter, whose deadpan delivery I always enjoy. Here's a simply stated and humorous line of his that became an instant classic: "I put all the paint where it's supposed to be and none of it where it shouldn't be." He reminds me of my favorite uncle, who always had a clever expression to crack me up.

It's not easy to come up with a brilliant and memorable one-liner. But when you've got a good one, that one sentence can be the difference between your audience walking away with only a vague memory of your topic and your audience sharing your message with everyone they know!

Do you have a catchy or pithy one-liner that has been successful for you?

Another tip for reading from a script

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 11:00:45 PST

My "Our Town" script from 8th grade

I wrote last year that speaking from a script doesn't have to sound scripted, and I gave some tips on how to sound more natural.

Then yesterday I was on a webinar where the speaker was clearly reading from a script, and I realized that I had left out something very important from that original blog post.

The speaker, being on a webinar, hidden behind telephone lines and PowerPoint slides, knew that no one could see her. And if no one can see you, then it must not matter that you're reading from a script, right?

Wrong.

The only people who are really good at reading from scripts are actors. Generally, an actor can pick up a script on the first read-through and sound 100 times better than the rest of us. Then they proceed to rehearse and memorize until those lines sound extemporaneous and unscripted.

You, most likely, are not a trained actor. If you read directly from a script, you are going to sound like a robot. And this is just how the speaker sounded yesterday, monotonous, boring and flat. She didn't even sound like she was trying to speak naturally.

Had she read through her script even a couple of times, out loud, it might have made a huge difference. Reading aloud helps you to develop a flow and smoothness to your lines. Reading from a script successfully actually means visually skimming ahead of what you are currently saying, so you can seamlessly blend your words together into cohesive, expressive and articulate sentences, with pauses and inflections in the appropriate places. It is a skill that one needs to learn and practice.

And there it is, the fourth tip I should have added to the original blog post: Practice.

I don't care if you are on a webinar, a radio show or a conference call. Just because people can't see you doesn't mean you get to slide on preparation.

You may be one of the rare few who can pick up a script and make it sound like you're speaking off the top of your head the first time you read it. But if you aren't one of the rare few, you better rehearse, out loud, several times. You will hear a noticeable difference in the flow of your words. You might even fool your audience into thinking you're being spontaneous!

Read my original post here:

Speaking from a script doesn't have to sound scripted

Are you a speaker or an impressionist?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 10:41:43 PST

I've had several clients come to me with an "idol" in mind as an example of the kind of speaker they wanted to be. One person flat-out told me he wanted to be like Tony Robbins. Sorry. Not gonna happen.

Another had a more subtle approach. He sent me a video of a president whose speaking style he admires, so I could see one of his role models in action. When we started working together and I gave him some material to read, his tone was a little flat, so I suggested some ways he might add color to his voice. His suggestion was to practice a cadence he's heard this particular president use.

As an experiment in vocal variety, there's nothing wrong with this. And in general, it's okay to have role models when you're starting out as a speaker. Having goals to strive for helps in the learning process; if you don't know what you want to achieve, it's kind of hard to get there.

However, when you decide to model yourself so specifically after a particular speaker, to the point of mimicking speech patterns and cadences, then you're going off track.

Each of us has ways of speaking and expressing ourselves that are unique only to us. When an actor convincingly plays JFK in a movie or a comedian perfectly nails a celebrity's character on Saturday Night Live, it's not just because of good makeup and wigs. It's because the actors have identified and are copying those distinctive speech patterns that make the person recognizable.

The only person who should ever try to duplicate another's speech cadences is an impressionist. It's perfectly all right for Rich Little or Dana Carvey to sound exactly like someone else; it's their job to mimic famous people.

So play with your speech patterns. Go ahead and stretch yourself and see how it feels to slow down certain words, speed up others, vary your volume, adjust your pauses, shrink and expand your vowels, mess around with inflection. These techniques can certainly help you add color and interest to your voice.

Just remember: You are who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. No one else speaks exactly like you, and that's what makes you special and unique as a speaker. Once you start mimicking the patterns of other speakers, you lose your individuality, and you sound like a copycat! You'll get more respect by being yourself.

A public speaking lesson from NORAD

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 10:48:00 PST

Have you heard of NORAD? North American Aerospace Defense Command "is a United States and Canada bi-national organization charged with the missions of aerospace warning and aerospace control for North America. Aerospace warning includes the monitoring of man-made objects in space, and the detection, validation, and warning of attack against North America whether by aircraft, missiles, or space vehicles, through mutual support arrangements with other commands.

Aerospace control includes ensuring air sovereignty and air defense of the airspace of Canada and the United States. The renewal of the NORAD Agreement in May 2006 added a maritime warning mission, which entails a shared awareness and understanding of the activities conducted in U.S. and Canadian maritime approaches, maritime areas and internal waterways."

Sounds pretty serious, huh? NORAD defends the airspace of North America, monitoring "a worldwide system of sensors designed to provide the commander and the leadership of Canada and the U.S. with an accurate picture of any aerospace or maritime threat."

Guess what else NORAD monitors: Santa Claus.

Starting December 1st each year, the military organization's NORAD Tracks Santa site goes live, counting down the days until Christmas Eve, and then showing Santa's flight around the world (this year also incorporating Google Earth). Santa trackers can speak to a live operator to inquire about Santa’s whereabouts, can watch video on the site, and can even use apps on their smart phones to make sure they don't miss a moment of Santa's journey. At Countdown Village on the site, Santa trackers can watch Santa's helpers prepare for Christmas at the North Pole.

Now, let me ask you this: If an organization as "important" and "serious" as NORAD can put up a Santa tracking website, can't you have a little fun in your presentations? If putting up a Santa tracking site doesn't ruin NORAD's reputation or credibility, how can having some fun with an audience ruin yours?

Stop taking yourself so seriously. Lighten up. Be a breath of fresh air for your audience, rather than a rigid, humorless, windbag presenter who promotes his own superiority and importance at the expense of his audience's enjoyment and engagement.

NORAD makes me smile. Now go make your audience smile!

The Christmas music made me do it...

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 09:43:29 PST

On Saturday night, I was sitting in my living room lit by candles and Christmas tree lights, snuggled in a blankie and enjoying a book and some wintry tunes on Pandora while my husband participated in poker night with some friends.

Feeling warm, content and full of the holiday spirit, I thought to myself, "I should offer a holiday special!"

The way my coaching program begins is with an Introductory Package of three sessions, and then if a client wants to continue coaching, they have to buy additional single sessions.

But just for this month, I decided to include that fourth session in the Introductory Package!

In order to take advantage of this great deal, you don't have to USE all four sessions by the end of the year, but you do have to buy my package by December 31st!

And you don't even have to be in Santa Barbara -- did you know I do most of my coaching over the phone and by Skype? I also travel within about a two-hour radius for clients in the Los Angeles area and as far north as San Luis Obispo.

Get a jump on your 2012 presentation prep (or give the gift of gab to a loved one), and grab this great opportunity before December is behind us!

Happy holidays!

Relating to the audience, TEDxWomen-style

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:28:08 PST

How often do you get to hear one amazing woman after another speak on critical issues that affect us every day as individuals and as a global community? Not often enough.

But yesterday's TEDxWomen brought 30+ women and men, in New York and Los Angeles, together through the magic of the Web. Joining them were more than 100 simultaneous TEDx events around the world showing the live stream as well as introducing local speakers. I attended the closest local event, TEDxOjaiWomen.

There were a couple of common threads that tied many of these presentations together and made them compelling and powerful, and I don't mean topic-wise. The style of the presentations was overwhelmingly personal, and I want to talk about why this made them so effective.

1. Emotion

Many speakers are afraid of emotion. Any emotion. Emotion that's too real, too raw, or too personal has no place in public speaking for many people.

But the only way you will connect with your audience is through emotion. Not facts. Not statistics. Those are interesting and will flesh out the details of whatever point you're trying to make. But if the audience doesn't CARE about what you're saying, you've failed. And people don't CARE unless you stimulate them emotionally.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom, who made the documentary MissRepresentation, teared up while talking about the different treatment her son and daughter received from friends and politicians when they were born. Tan Le, technology entrepreneur, held back tears as she told the story of her family's dramatic emigration to Australia when she was a child. Matt Petersen, of Global Green USA, choked up when he talked about women he met in the Congo who were still able to dance joyfully, even after surviving multiple rapes. And Jane Fonda not only got teary-eyed, but sniffled, as she introduced Gloria Steinem, someone who is clearly a hero to her.

Besides the tears, there were many speakers who engaged me through humor, through intensity, through aha! moments. My emotional engagement allowed me to take in and absorb more deeply the speakers' messages.

2. Storytelling

If there was a common tool used by most of the speakers yesterday (especially our local ones), it was storytelling. I've never heard so many personal stories from a group of speakers. I don't know if it's because most of the speakers were women, and personal stories are a shortcut to building connection and helping the audience relate to the similarities in our lives. I don't want to overanalyze it, but the stories made for a constant stream of fascinating speakers.

Alana Sheeren shared how she learned to grieve, stay present with grief, and help others who are grieving, through stories of painful loss.

Poet akka b told us of "coming out" as a poet, and how strange it was to call herself that once she gave herself permission.

Writer and editor Suzanne Braun Levine described her experiences jumping off a 90-foot cliff as a celebration of turning 50, and gathering the courage to say "NO" when informed by her Outward Bound guide that she was expected to climb back up the way she came down.

Communicatrix Colleen Wainwright asked us "Are you sure it's impossible?" as she took us through the harrowing and "impossible" process of raising $50,000 in the 50 days leading up to her 50th birthday (yes, she raised the money, and more -- and has the shorn head to prove it).

Dyana Valentine, self-proclaimed instigator, made her entire presentation about the incident and epiphany that brought her to be speaking on the TEDxOjaiWomen stage.

Why do we like stories so much? Here's one reason: "Stories help us to keep tabs on what is happening in our communities. The safe, imaginary world of a story may be a kind of training ground, where we can practice interacting with others and learn the customs and rules of society. And stories have a unique power to persuade and motivate, because they appeal to our emotions and capacity for empathy." (Read the rest of that blog post here.)

Stories help audiences relate to a speaker. Stories (and analogies) take concepts that may be unfamiliar and translate them into real-life examples that anyone can understand. Stories paint mental pictures of things your audience can't see in person. Stories bond us together in a common experience.

3. Authenticity

I'm not sure I've ever come across such a large group of speakers who radiated such confidence and realness. There wasn't a single person throughout the entire day who appeared stagey, fake or overly rehearsed. Some lost their place and recovered gracefully, some speakers used notes with no apologies (Barbra Streisand had black notecards... interesting). Not once did I sense a speaker showing off, condescending to the audience, trying too hard to be profound or to impress, forcing enthusiasm, or doing any of a hundred things I've seen bad motivational speakers do.

It was refreshing. I felt that I could sit back, relax, and take it all in without the stress of cringing every five minutes feeling embarrassed for the poor sap who oozes insecurity.

I'm not saying that these speakers weren't nervous on the inside. Or that there weren't a few feeling desperately anxious to be liked. Or that some of them weren't completely faking their confidence. But I'm not a mind reader. I can only guess that these things were going on because I'm a speaker and I know speakers, and these things are happening internally much of the time.

This talented and knowledgeable group of women and men pulled themselves together, decided to just "be," and gave us a day full of insights, laughter, hope, tears, debunked myths, pride, promises, joy, struggle, memories, epiphanies, clarity, reflection, possibilities, passion and love.

If I had one complaint about the day (and I didn't get to see the whole live stream, so it's possible that some of these issues were discussed), it's that I would like to have seen more presentations on what innovations are happening in the fields of rape and domestic violence prevention and gender equity education -- topics that aren't warm and fuzzy or easy to talk about, but are part of our world nevertheless. However, it's not easy to cover, in one day, all the ways girls and women are re-shaping the future.

Well done, TEDxOjaiWomen!

The funny thing about the comfort zone

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:47:23 PST

I've probably mentioned the "comfort zone" 20 times on this blog. Because understanding your comfort zone is an important step to becoming a better speaker.

What is the comfort zone, exactly?

It's that place where everything comes easily, there's no stress or anxiety, and you're not challenged, not stretched, not pushed.

So, if the comfort zone is so great (and yeah, it is), why would we want to get out of it?

Most of us don't want to get out of our comfort zones. Because they're comfortable. Hello.

But if you want to get better at anything, be it basketball, singing, playing the drums, speaking a foreign language, riding a unicycle, rock climbing, baking, parenting or public speaking, you can't stay in the comfortable place.

There is always another level past the level where you are now. There is always another level of skill, another level of experience, another level of intuition that comes with first practicing what you know, and then trying new things.

As you stretch yourself into new areas (shooting the ball from farther away, taking on more complicated grammar and tenses, making your own puff pastry...) your new skills, experiences and knowledge will make you better. You will become more well-rounded, more complete, more of an expert.

And you will also become more comfortable.

Because every time you stretch yourself, you eventually get comfortable at the new level! Things that previously seemed difficult and scary are now easy again. And so the cycle continues.

There is always a new comfort zone. Your task is to challenge it and escape it, as many times as it takes to keep learning, growing and improving.

Challenge the status quo... like a ninja!

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:00:02 PST

I came across this status update from Michael Cortes on Facebook, saying, "This CANT be real?" You might not be able to see what he's pointing to in this picture, so I've pasted the text of the wedding announcement below. Take a moment to read it... and be patient. You'll be rewarded.

"Bethany Markle, Robert Kaiser

Bethany Jeanne Markle and Robert Thomas Kaiser exchanged wedding vows Sept. 23 at the Erie Maennerchor. Judge John Trucilla officiated at the 6 p.m. ceremony. A reception followed.

Matron of honor was Stacey Hammer, cousin of the bride; and maid of honor was Alyssa Markle, sister of the bride. Bridesmaids were: Kaitlyn Kaiser, sister of the groom; Lindsay Palmer and Toni Cole, friends of the bride.

Best man was Donny Mallin, friend of the groom. Groomsmen were: Adam Kaiser, brother of the groom; Brandon Markle, brother of the bride; Kevin Brower and Justin Latzo, friends of the groom. Flower girls were: Sophie Dias, cousin of the bride, and Addison Badowski, cousin of the groom. Ring bearer was Jackson Hammer, cousin of the bride.

The bride, daughter of Timothy and Sharon Papotnik of Waterford, is currently attending Edinboro University of Pennsylvania, pursuing a degree in early childhood/special education. The groom, son of James and Lisa Kaiser of Erie, is a ninja."

It's easy to fall into the trap of doing what we think everyone expects us to do, just because that's the way it's always been done. In this case, wedding announcements have a certain format, and we don't mess with that. But Bethany or Robert (or both) thought it would be funny to shake things up a bit, in a very subtle way, and it takes the announcement from being conventional and staid to just over the edge of quirky.

Last year, I realized that I was tired of handing out my boring bio to introducers and organizers. Why should I bore my audiences with where I went to school, what degrees I have, or where my interviews have been published? Big SNOOZE.

So I upgraded my bio to one that feels and sounds more like me. This is what I give to the person who is going to introduce me at a speaking engagement. It loosens up the audience right from the beginning, and lets them know that I'm not stuffy or traditional in my approach. And because almost everything in the bio is actually true (okay, maybe I didn't quote Shakespeare when I was three and have cleaned the bathroom once or twice), it does give a little insight into who I am.

Then they can go read the boring stuff on my website, if they really need to know my work history and official credentials.

How are you challenging the status quo? How are you shaking things up with your audiences?

How to be an inconsiderate speaker

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 08:00:03 PST

I recently heard a speaker who acknowledged up front that:

1. He had 90 minutes of material for a 30 minute presentation, and

2. He talks fast. His exact words were, "When people complain, I tell them 'listen faster.'"

In my blog post, "Don't waste time talking about time," I discussed the pitfalls of trying to cram too much information into a too-brief time slot. I also pointed out the negative perceptions that can develop when the audience realizes you didn't prepare properly for the amount of time you were given.

But what I didn't discuss, and had never experienced until this presentation, was a speaker who triples his rate of speech in order to get through too much material.

The speaker said he talks fast, and implied that he doesn't care if the audience can't follow him. Apparently only I am to blame for missing half of his presentation because I'm unable to listen fast enough. I'm being absolutely literal about missing half of his presentation. I could follow only a portion of each sentence. Entire paragraphs were lost to me. I think he was making some good points and saying some funny things and had a good overall message, but I could only understand some of what he was saying, so I'm not really sure. People I spoke to after the speech told me that they also found it difficult to follow him.

As someone who gets paid to teach, train and motivate audiences, but also is just a regular audience member like everyone else, I took this speaker's behavior to be quite rude and unprofessional.

A speaker only gets a gig because there is an audience for his topic. A speaker who blatantly disregards his audience's needs (at minimum, the need to understand what's being said), and who has no consideration for the money they've spent and the time they've taken out of their day to listen to him, is one I will not pay to see again or recommend to organizers looking for speakers.

This presenter doesn't understand that listening involves not just hearing, but also processing concepts, organizing and understanding them, and then remembering what was said afterward. Sometimes it also involves taking notes, and when the words have zipped by me like a bullet train, I can't retain enough of them to write anything down. Listening is not a single momentary action; it's a process.

I don't have any power to change this person's behavior. I can't make him be more considerate or care about his audiences. And I certainly have no say over who hires him next. And he will be hired again, because of who he is. I feel especially sorry for his international audiences; if I can barely understand him -- and we speak the same language -- how painful must his presentations be to audiences in other countries?

All I can do is share this experience with you and hope that you will find a lesson for yourself in this post. I'm a fast talker, and I've made a concerted effort over the years to slow down so my audiences don't have to struggle to follow what I'm saying. I do it out of basic respect, courtesy, and appreciation for the gift of time and attention the audience is giving me.

Have you had an experience like this? Have you ever felt a speaker didn't respect the audience?

6 lessons for speakers from social media

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 13:28:25 PST

In my blog post, "Tweet like you mean it," I equated Twitter with public speaking. Last week, at Montecito Bank & Trust's B2B social media event, several speakers reinforced my belief that many of the same principles of effective use of social media apply to public speaking.

On Twitter, your audience is called "followers;" on Facebook they're called "friends," "fans," or "likes;" and on LinkedIn they're called "connections." But whichever social media platforms you use, you have an audience. And how you interact with your audience is critical if you want to grow relationships and build your business.

First up was keynoter Peter Shankman, PR and social media expert, author, entrepreneur and founder of HARO (Help a Reporter Out). Here are some of his choice tidbits about social media that sound a lot like public speaking advice.

1. Having an audience is a privilege, not a right.

As I've said before, you need your audience as much as they need you. In your social media role, don't abuse the privilege of having a group of ready listeners and readers by bombarding them with spam, commercials, or other kinds of one-way communication that doesn't encourage interaction. In your public speaking role, this equates to lots of selling, self-promotion, or just talking too much about your own credentials and brilliance and not enough about what your audience needs, wants and cares about.

2. Own it when you screw up.

Here he was talking about transparency, and being honest and forthright about your mistakes. He contrasted two politicians caught up in sex scandals and how one came forth and acknowledged that he blew it, resigned and went away with perhaps a shred of dignity still intact. The other denied his participation until the point where there was too much evidence to deny, and went out in disgrace as not only a pervert and a cheater, but also a liar.

Shankman also referred to the poor handling of Ashton Kutcher's recent uninformed tweet about the Penn State scandal and subsequent turning over of all tweeting responsibilities to his management.

In a public speaking situation, can you admit when you're wrong? Can you suck it up and apologize if you mess up? If you say something offensive or insensitive, can you read your audience, understand and acknowledge their displeasure or disappointment, and move on? You will earn the respect of your audience if you do, their disdain if you don't.

3. Bad writing sucks.

How you express yourself in social media is all about expressing yourself in writing. You don't have the luxury of facial expressions and body language to enhance your tweets and status updates, so writing skills are important if you want to come across as a professional, articulate expert in your field.

As a speaker, you have more tools at your disposal, but the skeleton and structure of your presentation are still a result of writing, and bad writing can kill a presentation as much as poor delivery. Shankman's point here was partly that social media users need to learn how to write, but also that "Good writing is brevity... brevity is social media." You will hear the same request from audience after audience (they won't say it out loud, but they're thinking it): Don't waste my time.

After Peter Shankman spoke, there was a panel of social media experts: Lynda Weinman from Lynda.com, Shawn Mulchay from Socialmash Media, and Nicki Gauthier from Web Marketing Therapy and UCSB Extension. The panel also made some excellent points that translate to public speaking.

4. Get out of your comfort zone.

I don't remember which panelist said this, but it's safe to say there was agreement across the board.

As Ronny Cammareri says in "Moonstruck:" "Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do." So maybe playing it safe isn't exactly dangerous, but it's not going to get you anywhere. If you want to stand out from the crowd, get noticed, get followers, fans and clients, you need to take risks.

What kind of risks?

Try something new that you've never done before. Do something that scares you. Incorporate some mild self-deprecating humor into your presentation. Sing a song, bring a silly prop, tell a startling personal story. Give something away for free and don't expect anything in return. Be courageous. Speak from the heart. Push boundaries. Let go of inhibitions. Have fun!

5. Control your voice and your brand.

This comment came from Nicki, and stood out to me as a critical requirement of both social media and public speaking presence. Who are you? Do you know? What differentiates you from the rest of the speakers out there? You can't always control how your followers, fans and audiences perceive you, but you can do a lot to take control of the situation.

Always be very clear about your intentions for using social media and be clear about your intentions as a speaker. Do you have a strong message, personality, style, look, and point of view? And I don't just mean you, in person, in front of an audience; I mean your website, your blog, your Facebook page, your business cards, your voice mail message, your media interviews, your status updates and tweets, and any other representation of you on the Web or in the world. Your public persona should match your web persona should match your personal persona should match your paper persona.

6. Be fun... be human.

This comment came from Shawn, but was echoed by all the presenters in one way or another. Bottom line: Fakers will be revealed. When you're faking it, pretending to be something you're not, lying about who you are and what you represent, you will eventually be found out and you will lose any trust you've built up with your audience.

Don't do or say things to be popular or to get brownie points; do and say them because they are meaningful to you and your audience. Be honest, be authentic, and don't be afraid to show your followers, fans and audiences who you are on the inside. Reach out to build connection, build relationships, and get to know people for real. You will be rewarded not just in numbers of followers, but in a more enriched experience with social media and public speaking, and in true, real-world friendships.

Thanks to Montecito Bank & Trust for putting together a well-spoken and informative panel and a fun evening of networking and learning.

Game changers! Presentations to inspire change... do they succeed?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 16:09:17 PST

I apologize for not putting up a blog post this week. We said goodbye to our 18-year-old kitty, the last of a dynasty of cats stretching back to our honeymoon in 1989. I'm working alone now in an empty house all day and it's a little hard to take. Here's the tribute I wrote to our sweet Noonie.

Unable to get a blog post finished this week, I nevertheless did find some entertaining videos of presentations that could use a little work. If you watch The Office, you've seen these. If not, take a look.

The first two presenters get their ideas shot down; they aren't appealing to the boss at all. But look what happens when the boss hears what he wants to hear from Kevin, believing Kevin's cookie idea to be an analogy for a bigger problem in the company. Game changer!

Prepare. And then let go.

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:01:12 PST

You started creating your presentation a month in advance. You revised, practiced, revised some more. Now the day is here, and you still fear that something will go wrong.

Imagine what it's like for the cast of Saturday Night Live! Every week they write, rehearse and deliver an entirely new show. Sketches are written and thrown out. Others make it to rehearsal and still get thrown out. Cast members and guest hosts are still putting the finishing touches on the show right up until the show goes live.

Have you ever seen anyone make a mistake on Saturday Night Live? Of course! Have you ever seen someone's mustache fall off? Have you ever seen a cast member struggling to hold back laughter? Of course! Because nobody's perfect, and the actors are doing their best to deliver a complete show with relatively little rehearsal time. Lorne Michaels, creator and product of SNL, has been quoted saying this:

"We don't go on because we're ready, we go on because it's 11:30."

You can practice your behind off, but eventually you have to go live. Understand and accept the fact that everything won't always go as you planned it, and don't let a couple of stumbles and blunders throw you off. Acknowledge that, no matter how prepared you are, there still might be mistakes and glitches, and allow yourself to find the humor in the situation.

Here's a great example of how someone rolled with a big glitch, in his second presentation ever, at a big-time conference. Watch Pat Flynn's double take below, as he discovers that the font he used in his slides was not compatible with the conference-supplied computer. You can read his blog post about the incident here.

Determine whether there's something you could have done differently to prevent the mistake (in this case, Pat learned a valuable lesson about fonts in slideshows). If you can fix it for next time, do so. If you can't, and it was a fluke that will probably never be repeated, then chalk it up to a weird experience and move on.

Prepare. And then let go.

Would you hire this handyman?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:51:57 PST

Would you hire this handyman?

This is my slightly-too-artful re-creation of a sign on a truck I drove by on Tuesday. I have to say, it was really hard to make my lettering look as bad as his, and it doesn't. In addition to the haphazard application, some letters were peeling off and barely adhering to the car.

Giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, I could assume that he bought the truck from someone else and is not actually a handyman, but has not yet removed the lettering.

Whoever applied these letters, however, surely would not get my vote for attention to detail. If he can't even be bothered to put the letters on his truck straight, how on earth could I expect him to paint or repair anything in my home with any amount of care?

It's like an image consultant who is always in disarray, a professional organizer who's constantly late to appointments, or a teacher who misspells his lessons on the chalkboard.

Think about how you portray yourself as a professional, whether or not you're a regular speaker.

Are your e-mails full of typos? Does your website have a different size font on every page? Are your voice mail messages missing important information -- like your phone number?

Are you not clueing in to how your clients and prospects are dressed, and wearing the wrong clothes to meetings and presentations?

Are your reports or marketing materials hastily put together, sloppy or incomplete? (My recent pet peeve: the billboard or newspaper ad that has a Facebook logo -- indicating the business is on Facebook -- but no Facebook URL. How exactly am I supposed to find them on Facebook?)

All these actions (and more) give people around you a certain impression, an impression that you don't care. And if you don't care about something like sending an e-mail without typos, where first impressions might prompt you to be on your best behavior, why should they expect you to care about other things, bigger and more important things?

Don't be a slacker. Details matter. Show prospective clients and audiences that you care.

Here are a few more posts on impressions and image:

First impressions follow you everywhere

Is your image consistent with your message?

Customers don't always enter through the front door

Repeater or deleter: Which one are you?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:54:18 PST

One of my clients has a concern about finishing sentences. Specifically, she feels that she gets part of the way through an idea and doesn't know how to finish it, either because she's picked the wrong words or can't think of what to say next. She gets tongue-tied at this point. She's very self-conscious about this behavior.

This reminded me of a section of Michael Erard's book, "Um... Slips, Stumbles and Verbal Blunders, and What They Mean," where he talks about two main group of disfluent speakers: "sentence changers" and the "uh-ers," terms coined by psychologist George Mahl. Sentence changers charge through their sentences, changing, fixing and restarting sentences as needed to get their point across. Sentence changers tend to be more confident speakers and less worried about making mistakes than the Uh-ers, who prefer to more carefully plan and craft their sentences, often using "um" and "uh" while restructuring the sentence in order to avoid making mistakes. Another researcher in the book, Liz Shriberg, calls these two types of disfluent speakers "repeaters" and "deleters."

Erard says, "...Each person consistently blunders in a way that's unique to him or her."

For example, in a study of college students, recordings showed that "...each student tended to say the same number of 'uhs' and 'ums.' If their pause fillers were counted at Time 1 and then again four weeks later, the students would be blundering at roughly the same rate. There were only two other features of their speech that were more stable than this: their swearing and the use of filler words ('well,' 'like,' 'so'). In casual listening we can often hear speakers' distinctive speech patterns when their disfluencies become excessive...."

According to Erard, each of us has our own speech patterns and disfluencies (breaks, blunders, false starts, fillers, repetitions and other interruptions of the flow of speech), but most of them are universal. That is, each of us is not unique in making mistakes, only in our own personal patterns of mistakes.

I suggested to my client that, if she's truly uncomfortable with her style of correcting a sentence (in her case, getting tongue-tied stops the sentence in its tracks), that she consciously commit to finishing the sentence in any way she can. Perhaps she forges ahead, repairing as she goes and letting go of the need to get everything right. Or perhaps she slows down and pauses while she restructures, more carefully crafting her words. But whichever method she prefers, she needs to know that it's perfectly normal to rework sentences while uttering them and that getting stuck in the middle is a universal trait.

I'm pretty sure I'm a sentence changer; I like to plow through my sentences, aiming for flow rather than perfection. But I'll have to watch some video to confirm.

How about you? Are you a sentence changer or uh-er? You may not know unless you record yourself. It's an interesting bit of detective work!

I'm in the Wall Street Journal today!

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:55:02 PDT

Check out my mention in the Wall Street Journal today in their Cranky Consumer column!

The journalist had consultations with a couple of public speaking coaches, and also attended a Toastmasters meeting, and wrote about her experiences looking for help with public speaking.

Unfortunately, the editing of the piece left out the fact that I do use Skype upon request and when warranted by the work I'm doing with a particular client. So, yes, I meet with clients in person, by phone and by Skype.

Also, I found it interesting that I was the only coach who offered a free consultation!

How coaching gets me where I want to be

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:18:03 PDT

I had a meeting with my fitness trainer last week. We didn't work out; in fact, we had lunch. But I didn't need a workout on that particular day. I needed motivation and a new strategy.

My exercise routine has served many functions, including providing fodder for this blog. It helps me clear my head, it exposes me to beautiful Santa Barbara scenery, it helps me maintain a healthy weight and healthy mind, and it feels fantastic! I love working out.

But... I'm in an exercise and diet crisis, a rut of epic proportions. We moved into our new place almost three months ago, and since that time, my routine has been off. I've only been to the stadium three or four times. I do walk to the post office and Trader Joe's from time to time and it's a few miles round trip, up and down some hills. I know it's helping, but it's not enough. Add to that the fact that, since we moved, I've been on a crazy sugar binge, where I'm snacking like never before, and have gone back to old bad habits like eating at night in front of the TV.

There are probably all kinds of reasons for this lax behavior, but the fact remains: I need to DO something.

So I met with Nicole, who put me at ease and gave me the perspective I had been craving (along with the sugar). She pointed out that the long walks up and down hills were good, and that I should keep doing those twice a week. And that I should make Monday a mandatory exercise day, because it starts off the week on the right foot. And that, if I can get in one session at the stadium and the other two long walks, I'd be good.

As for my dietary challenges, she suggested I work on one thing at a time. Don't try to cut back on dairy, eliminate sugar, and stop eating after 7:00 all at once, or I would surely fail from all the pressure. Pick one.

I walked away from our meeting feeling positive, hopeful, and certain that I could do it. And Nicole helped me realize that I was already doing a lot of things right, but I couldn't see it because I was so down on myself for the things I was doing wrong.

I love having a coach! My fitness trainer has been critical to getting me on track, helping me arrange my lifestyle and make the changes I need to improve my health and fitness.

If you need to move forward, face your challenges and improve as a speaker, a coach can help you, too!

A coach gives outside perspective.

You might have fears and concerns about your abilities as a speaker, but a professional coach can cut through the forest and help you see the trees. You may think your voice quivers, or you use your hands too much, or you make funny faces. Your coach will give you the realistic, unbiased view of your presentation habits and style.

A coach gives guidance and support.

A coach helps you see what you're already doing right, find your strengths and then apply them to the problem. As a speaker, you're doing a lot of things right and you have a lot of strengths; a coach can help you appreciate and apply those strengths to your presentations.

A coach is a partner, not a taskmaster.

A coach works with you, your lifestyle, your personality, your strengths and your goals. A speaking coach should encourage (and sometimes prod) you to leave your comfort zone in order to achieve your goals, but should never make unrealistic demands or expect you to adopt behaviors that are not in sync with who you are as a person.

A coach promotes accountability.

Nicole will check in with me and see what my plan is and how it's coming along, which makes me just that much more likely to follow through on what I said I would do. A big part of my coaching process with clients is also accountability. Did they practice as much as we talked about? Did they do the voice exercises? Did they sign up to present a brown bag lunch talk? Without accountability, it's a lot harder to achieve one's goals.

A coach teaches new skills.

If I need to shake up my workout, Nicole has plenty of new moves for me, based on what I want to achieve and what fits my lifestyle and workout habits. My coaching clients also frequently need to learn new skills in order to shake up their presentations. Depending on their needs, I've got plenty of new moves for them.

A coach inspires and motivates.

A coach should be someone who makes you feel good about your progress, whether it's in baby steps or in huge leaps. A coach doesn't berate, belittle or treat you like a child. We're grownups, and we are ultimately responsible for our own learning and growth. How much you choose to do to move forward is up to you, but your coach should make you feel positive and excited about doing the necessary work.

This is why having a fitness coach is important to me, and why my clients hire me as their public speaking coach. What kinds of coaches are helping you stay motivated and accountable?

More motivational blog posts based on my workouts:

You thought you could never do it

Should you trust your inner quitter?

I do and I understand

I do and I understand, Part 2

Speed up and stop enunciating...?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:25:36 PDT

Image by juliaf

For the first time ever, I told a client to stop enunciating so much. And, for maybe the first time, I told a client to speed up instead of slow down.

It's a rare occurrence that a speaker is actually over-enunciating and talking too slowly, but it happens.

In this case, my client is shooting a video for his website. He's taking two minutes to grab the attention of site visitors, ending with a call to action for them to contact him for more information. In this two minutes, he needs to be snappy, friendly and intriguing, or site visitors won't stick around for the rest of what he has to offer. For that matter, they won't even finish watching the video if it doesn't engage them.

Overly precise enunciation and a slow speaking pace makes him look stiff, boring and robotic. He doesn't come across as conversational, and he doesn't come across as someone you'd want to get to know better. (Part of the problem is that he's speaking from a script, which is hard enough to do well without filming it on video.)

The exercise I recommended for our session that day was to let go, to lighten things up and loosen things up by speeding things up. I asked him to go over his presentation quickly, without stopping to correct mistakes or flubbed words. Leave the ums alone and stop thinking so much. Let the words flow as though he's in a conversation with a person and he's really excited to tell them about his business. He said, "I get it -- it's like I'm talking to someone in the same room, eating lunch together, having pasta." Exactly!

When he let himself speak freely, without worrying so much about perfection, he had so much more life in his voice, so much more energy and excitement. This is what his site visitors need to see, not some professorial lecture that feels like a downer.

Video can be hard to pull off for inexperienced speakers, because it's awkward to emote in front of a camera with no live audience, no feedback from facial expressions or body language to help you feel connected. Speaking to a camera is downright uncomfortable for a lot us, and smiling and showing emotion feels fake. One client suggested taping a picture of someone's face next to her webcam to give her more of a sense of speaking to a person, and if that works for her, great!

Speaking too properly (and this includes avoiding contractions and using the word "a" like the letter "A") can be just as distracting to an audience as speaking too sloppily. There's a balance you need to have between enunciation that is clear and a speaking style that's conversational and friendly. For a good example of this balance, listen to a radio DJ or TV news anchor. They speak clearly and enunciate well, but -- most of the time -- don't sound overly stilted. (I'm still trying to find a recording of the radio announcer I heard on KUSP radio a few months back who sounded like he was doing elocution exercises.)

Even when recording a video, keep in mind you are still speaking to an audience. You may not be able to see them, but they're there. Imagine these faces when you're speaking to the camera. Smile, and use your face and body just as you would if you were sitting at the same table as the person you're speaking to. Have a conversation and don't worry so much about perfect enunciation. Your message will be heard and felt.

Why we need a dog

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:06:00 PDT

For a clear, concise story within a clear, concise story, look no further than the current Microsoft commercial. The commercial shows a child using PowerPoint to convince his parents to add a dog to the family.

The PowerPoint within the commercial is also simple, delivering three main points with video, a chart, and on each slide, one clean line of text:

Protection (we see a dog attacking a man)

Teach me responsibility (we see the boy "walking" a stuffed dog)

Dog owners live longer (a nifty chart showing years vs. "dog" and "no dog")

There is no dialog in the commercial, only facial expressions and body language expressing the family members' reactions to the presentation. Later (after the dog has been adopted), we see Dad approach Mom with a similar presentation about playing golf on Sundays, but Mom shoots him down with a shake of the head.

And all of this is achieved in 30 seconds.

You think 20 minutes or ten minutes or five minutes isn't enough time for your presentation? Sure it is! Keep it simple, choose your most critical points, and appeal to your audience's emotions... and you've got yourself a dog!

Complete your presentation with gratitude

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:02:14 PDT

When you've done everything right... when you've prepared as much as you needed to... you know your material inside out...you're ready to engage your audience... all the pieces are in place and you're about to take the stage... here's one more thing to add to your toolkit.

Gratitude.

Not everything a speaker prepares for a presentation is a physical, tangible item like movement, words, and slides. A lot of speaker preparation is mental, as in positive thinking, visualization and reframing negative attitudes. Add to this mental preparation the concept of gratitude.

First, think about how grateful you are for the people who have come to hear you speak and the people who are organizing your speaking engagement. They are supporting your cause, they are looking forward to learning, they are wishing you success. Be grateful for your audience, because they're here to take in and spread your message. Be grateful, because without an audience, you can't be a speaker.

Then think about how grateful you are for the opportunity to share something you care about with this audience. Think about how fortunate you are to have people sitting and listening to your ideas and your message for 10, 20 or 60 minutes. Think about how lucky you are to help people and give them something relevant and useful that they can use right now to change and improve their work or their life.

Now, dig down and find the thing that makes you care about your topic. What is it that makes you want to do what you do? What is it that makes you want to share what you're sharing? Find that motivation, that emotional connection, that energy for your topic, and bring it out. Then give it to your audience.

Turn your gratitude and your motivation into energy, and feed that to the audience. They'll give it right back, and then you're connected. It's the last piece that will complete your perfect presentation.

See previous posts on love and gratitude here:

L.O.V.E.

How to accept a gift from your audience

"Have to" or "get to"?

POM Wonderful Presents... Good lessons for speakers

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:52:30 PDT

Yesterday I watched the movie "Pom Wonderful Presents... The Greatest Movie Ever Sold," Morgan Spurlock's advertisement-within-a-movie-within-an-advertisement about product placement and marketing in movies. He filmed every aspect of putting together the advertising for the movie, including his pitches to the companies who ended up being his major sponsors.

A lot of what Spurlock went through in pitching his clients and putting deals together demonstrated good lessons for speakers. Here are a couple.

Use simple but striking visuals

I enjoyed watching his pitches. While there are some things I might have changed (such as inserting each company's logo in place of "Brand X" on his storyboard so they could visualize themselves as the title sponsor), I especially liked his simple, clean visuals. He didn't use PowerPoint, but simple storyboards (which I gather are more common in the advertising world than in the public speaking world). As he displayed each image, he described what it meant in the context of the whole campaign. Here's a clip from his POM Wonderful pitch where you can see how he used the storyboards:

His pitch was successful enough that POM Wonderful became the movie's title sponsor.

Understand what your audience needs, wants and cares about

There was a later scene, however, when his visuals didn't make the impact he had hoped for. In this scene, he approaches POM Wonderful with his three ideas for a 30-second commercial that will be inserted into the movie. He shows his storyboards and explains the story lines of each commercial. All three are flops. Why?

Because Spurlock's commercials emphasize aspects of the product that are at odds with what POM Wonderful wants to emphasize. It's clear from this scene that he has not researched his client enough, and hasn't actually determined what they consider important features of the product. And therefore, all three of his commercial pitches are shot down.

When you show up for a speaking engagement and deliver canned material, without first learning what your audience wants from the session, you are doing both yourself and your audience a disservice. You are doing yourself a disservice, because you might have had some really good, targeted material that would have made you stand out from other speakers. You might have really nailed the presentation and had a real rapport with your audience. And you do a disservice to the audience because now they feel they are wasting their time, listening to a speaker who doesn't understand or care about them. This is hard to undo.

Luckily for Spurlock, the relationship was already established, the company gave him their alternative suggestions, and his commercial was aligned with the company's desires.

Always be prepared

Spurlock learns early on that he himself is a brand and needs to acknowledge and market himself this way. As speakers, we are in the same boat. What is our identity that sets us apart from other speakers? Each of us has a brand, though not all of our brands are equally visible or identifiable. Take a moment and think about this: What's your brand?

Here's a scene where Spurlock approaches people on the street and asks them to define their brand:

People on the street, who are most likely not professional marketers or pitch people, are able to identify their personal brands. Then we meet the Ban deodorant marketing executives. This was maybe the most humorous and shocking scene to me.

When Spurlock approached Ban deodorant to be a sponsor, his pitch was similar to those he gave at other companies (in fact, Ban was the first major company to sign on, influencing the responses of prospects to follow), full of tonque-in-cheek images of his medicine cabinet full of Ban products and of him putting on deodorant before a big interview.

What was surprising was when he asked Ban for their own brand identity statement. He asks, "What are the words you would use to describe Ban? Ban is...'blank'?" Watch the response:

The clip doesn't show how much time actually goes by, but it's long enough for the silence to become uncomfortable. How weird and sad is this moment, where these executives sit here as time ticks by, unable to articulate their brand?

Ban, in this instance, is the potential client, and maybe did not expect to be asked this question. Spurlock is the one pitching them. However, there are likely many occasions where these same executives are on the other side of the table. How is it that they have no words to describe their product?

It's embarrassing to be put on the spot, but as a speaker, you must always be prepared to answer unexpected questions. If that means brainstorming possible questions (even completely off-the-wall ones) before your speaking engagement and imagining or writing down possible answers, then do it. If it means asking your co-workers or friends to throw their toughest questions at you so you know what other people might be thinking, then do it. Sure, there's a possibility that you will occasionally be stumped by a question. But it should never be the easiest one.

This movie is full of great lessons for speakers, and for anyone who wants to stand out and be seen, noticed and recognized for their brand identity.

More TV speechwriting tips

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 08:00:02 PDT

Here's one way to write a speech (or in this case, "speach").

On this week's episode of "Up All Night," talk show mogul Ava asks assistant Missy to write her speech for an upcoming event. First, she suggests words to avoid: "moist, ointment, nubbin, vigorous, vigorish(?) and 'at the end of the day.'"

After briefly running through some ideas, she says to Missy, "So basically, the speech should go: laughter, tears, poignancy, tears, laughter, light laughter, slight tears, laughter into tears, and out. How's that sound?"

Reminds me of another brilliant TV speechwriter: Jean-Ralphio.

Ava and Missy clip from "Up All Night" - runs from 11:43-12:35:

Sophia Grace and Rosie do The Ellen Show

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 10:27:03 PDT

Watching this interview just made my day. 8-year-old Sophia Grace and her 5-year-old cousin Rosie were spotted by The Ellen Show on YouTube doing a cover of Nicki Minaj's song "Super Bass." Ellen flew them over from England to interview them, and I was so tickled by the confidence and ebullience of Sophia Grace.

At one point, Ellen asks, "What made you want to do this together?"

Sophia Grace responds, "We like dancing together and Rosie makes me feel more confident... cuz I've got someone with me."

Such spunky little girls. Here's the whole interview with Ellen:

In this clip, after being surprised by meeting Nicki Minaj, Sophia Grace and Nicki perform together. Watch Sophia Grace hold her own! Priceless.

Here's the original YouTube video:

Get all the results without the any of the effort

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:58:18 PDT

Just kidding. You know that's not how it works, right?

I would like to lose ten pounds. In fact, I would like my body to look the way it did in my early 30s. But here's the problem: I'm not willing to do the work. Sure, I work out, but back then I was at the gym six days a week, lifting heavy weights and doing cardio. Six days a week.

And I eat pretty well (at least I have a healthy vegetarian diet going for me), but also eat too many sweets and drink too much wine (well, that's what my triglycerides are telling me). If I really want my body to be the way it was at my peak of fitness, I need to do the work.

I read magazine articles and books about healthy eating and exercise. And I know all that. I'm an expert on what works for my own body. But I don't want to make the effort. I don't discipline myself. So I stay the way I am.

I know you hope your presentations will magically improve without the work. I know you hope that, by reading articles and books and watching good speakers on TED, you will become a more effective and engaging speaker by osmosis. I know you know you could be doing better.

But better requires work. There's just no way around it.

~ It requires first learning what makes an effective presentation (including proper use of PowerPoint) -- and if you're reading this blog, you're on the right track -- and then using and practicing those tools and techniques.

~ It requires preparing way more than you're preparing now.

~ It requires changing your attitude about public speaking.

~ It requires getting feedback from legitimate sources, not people who are afraid to hurt your feelings.

~ And it requires accepting every speaking engagement that comes your way and making opportunities when they're not coming your way.

But you don't want to do the work. I hear you. Believe me, I get it.

I don't want to be a big bummer. The Internet is full of people who tell you how to "lose ten pounds in a week" and "make millions of dollars while you sleep." I'm not one of those people. Losing ten pounds in a week is a temporary condition caused by diuretics. Making money while you sleep? Yep, that still takes a lot of work. While you're awake.

So, here I go again:

Your presentations won't change if you don't make the effort. Your PowerPoint will still be riddled with tiny text and too many bullets. Your content will be unfocused or boring, or mediocre. Your delivery will be disconnected or stiff or monotone, or just unmemorable.

And my body is going to stay the same, flabby, with this ten extra pounds. Unless we stop fantasizing and start DOING.

We can do it. We can even make it fun!

Who's with me?

Do as I say, not as I say.

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 11:18:37 PDT

Sometimes speakers (like all human beings) say one thing, but do another. One gives bad news with an unfortunate smile on her face. Another rails against pollution but smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. And another is a finance expert on stage while trying to crawl out of a deep debt hole in his private life. I spoke about "practicing what you preach" in a previous post, and the importance of your behavior matching your message.

Here's an example I read about the other day, and I think this is very common -- speakers who say they want audience interaction, but behave in the opposite way.

My husband's niece Miranda wrote this on Facebook:

"My teacher complains that we don't talk in class and discuss things, and then when we raise our hands, he skips over us to listen to himself talk. I experienced this first hand today when, for once, I had a good comment during our 'discussion' and he saw my hand was up, looked my way about 10 times, and then kept moving on to the next section, and then asking if we had anything to say and ignoring the people with their hands raised. Sorry, [name of teacher], but you kind of really really suck."

I suppose there are many reasons why a speaker would ignore the audience's attempts at interaction. Maybe he does just like the sound of his own voice. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with dissent or disagreement. Maybe he fears that there's not enough time to entertain all the comments and questions. Which would all be fine if he didn't say he wanted participation, but then not accept it.

Saying one thing and doing another is one of the quickest ways to alienate your audience. No one is going to take advice from or be motivated by a hypocrite. Pay attention to how you come across to those you hope to influence and serve; you might be surprised to discover that you are perceived as a completely different person than you are. Or perceived as exactly the person you're trying to pretend not to be!

2011 Annoying PowerPoint Survey results have been released!

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 11:17:12 PDT

The results of Dave Paradi's Annoying PowerPoint Survey for 2011 have been released! Things are generally the same as in the past: Audiences find speakers who read the slides to them to be the most annoying aspect of PowerPoint presentations.

Dave mentions three recurring themes in the comments to the survey:

1. Presenters attempting to cram too much information in to the presentation

2. Presenters need to be better prepared to deliver the presentation

3. Poorly designed slides

Sound familiar? And I'm not just talking about the speakers you've had to sit through. I'm talking about your own presentations. These themes are not only consistent with speakers I've watched, but with my clients' own difficulties with PowerPoint.

When speakers are audience members, these things drive them crazy. But when they get up on stage, they end up perpetrating the same annoying PowerPoint habits of speakers they criticize.

Why? They don't know how to make it better! They don't have the awareness,

training or knowledge to change their behaviors.

Dave's conclusion from the survey?

"That presentations are becoming a more important vehicle for communicating, but presenters aren’t really getting any better at effectively using this important vehicle to get their message understood. To change the current state, it will take awareness on the part of the presenters and a willingness to do things differently."

If you know you could be doing better PowerPoint presentations, but you're not sure how to get there, e-mail me or give me a call. I can help!

And don't forget: Through the month of October, I'm offering the first six people who book a service with me a $60 gift card or certificate to one of six of my favorite businesses! Happy 6th anniversary to me, but the gifts are for you!

Keeping the pace lively: The job of an emcee

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:55:52 PDT

For the last 16 years, our local tribe of Chumash Indians has held an inter-tribal pow wow. Native Americans come from all over the country to participate in the celebration of native culture with dance and drum competitions, music, a healing circle, storytelling, food, and arts and crafts. The event is spread over two days and, as you can imagine, there is a lot of downtime in between dances and ceremonies. Enter Tom Phillips, perennial emcee.

I am constantly impressed with how Tom keeps the audience entertained and informed, while rolling with the unpredictability of a live two-day event with hundreds of participants and thousands of spectators.

Sometimes there's a delay in the proceedings. One of the dance or drum judges might be held up on the other side of the arena, or there's a wait while the dancers take their place to start the competition. Gifts are given, people are honored, the dusty arena might need to be watered down and swept, there might be a lost child (and there was -- identified with the description "She's holding a nectarine, a bottle of water, and some Funyuns"), and Tom manages to keep the pace lively.

Here are some of the techniques I've witnessed Tom using to keep the audience and participants from drifting off during the lulls.

1. Use observational humor

Tom can always find something amusing in a delay. As one woman in a wheelchair carried a folding chair across the arena, Tom made the comment, "So-and-so has a nice chair for sale." So it's not hilarious, and he's not a comedian. But he's observant, and is always able to amuse the audience with whatever is happening at the moment.

2. Keep the audience informed

One of Tom's strengths as an announcer is his depth of knowledge of native culture and his ability to educate those of us sitting outside the arena in an interesting and engaging way. I never feel like I'm at school or being lectured to while Tom explains the intricacies of gift-giving or the meanings of songs or the history of the use of various flags in the Grand Entry. His style is conversational and informal, and he's always got a new tidbit I haven't heard before.

3. Be humble

One thing I love about Tom's emceeing is that it's never about him. He has a smooth, made-for-radio voice and the ability to talk and talk and talk, but I never get the feeling he's talking just to hear himself. He always advances the agenda of the day, not focusing on himself and how entertaining he can be, but rather how he can make this the best experience for all involved. He comes across as sincere, approachable, friendly, human, and modest.

4. Be prepared

It almost goes without saying (but I'm going to say it) that Tom is prepared like crazy. He knows what the schedule should be and he's ready to make announcements, introduce dancers and honorees (read about head gourd dancer Saginaw Grant here), remind drum groups to check in and take care of all the other mundane administration of the pow wow.

Being an emcee is hard work. It's a constant effort to make sure things are running smoothly and that the audience doesn't get bored or feel disconnected from the proceedings. Tom Phillips is a true expert in the art of emceeing, and I look forward to hearing him again next year!

Take a few minutes to check out my short video of the recent pow wow's Grand Entry. This will give you a taste of some of the different styles of songs, a little bit of dancing, and some beautiful regalia. There are a couple more previous videos in my Powwow playlist as well. And here's some basic info on powwows with a little explanation of the Grand Entry.

Here's some information on our local band of Chumash Indians, if you're interested.

Sixth anniversary gifts for you!

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:54:48 PDT

October marks my sixth anniversary since starting my business as a public speaking coach and trainer!

To celebrate, I'm offering one $60 gift certificate (from six of my favorite online and local businesses) to each of the first six people who sign up for any of my services in October, including individual public speaking coaching, live or video presentation review, and PowerPoint design. (This offer excludes group coaching.)

Your choice of $60 gift certificates includes:

The Grapeseed Company (luscious spa and skin care for women, men and dogs!)
Lazy Acres Market (diverse and unique specialty foods - Santa Barbara)
Santa Barbara Farmers Market (produce, dairy, meats, seafood, baked goods, honey, jam, olive oil, nuts, flowers and more)
Carr Winery (ultra-premium limited-production -- and delicious -- wines)
Rotem Gear (Jewish, Asian, vintage and retro style graphics and quirky combos of all of these)
Calla Gold Jewelry (jewelry designed, repaired and reimagined)

I can't think of a better way to celebrate my anniversary than to introduce you to some of my favorite local businesses and fellow Web-based entrepreneurs!

Thank you for reading my blog, buying my e-books and e-course, downloading my handouts, hiring me to speak and coach, following and retweeting me on Twitter and liking my Facebook page, and for offering me your trust and friendship over the past six years.

I so appreciate all the relationships this business has fostered, and I look forward to many more years of coaching and many more years of enrichment from the all the fascinating people I meet along the way!

Is weak language killing your presentation?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:36:21 PDT

In a post last week, I suggested addressing your audience's fears and concerns up front. Today I want to talk about how your use of language can assuage those fears or exacerbate them.

Here's how a client recently described her business in the presentation she was practicing to give to superiors: "It's not going to be our best year ever, but it's going to be a growth year."

In this instance, the speaker wants to focus on what IS, not what ISN'T. If she first says it's not going to be a good year, that's what her listeners will focus on. She needs to leave that out altogether and just talk about the growth.

Another client mentioned how a new employee had "not exactly hit the ground running," but was doing well in her job now.

Again, the speaker wants to talk about how well the employee is doing NOW, not how she had a slow start three months ago. What IS: Employee doing well. What ISN'T: Employee having a slow start. To the boss who wants to know how the business is doing, slow starts are a reason for concern, while an employee who is succeeding in her position is reassuring.

In a newsletter from our local cheese shop the other day, I read this:

"Our friends at [Nearby Creamery] just released their newest cheese, and I gotta say, it’s actually really good."

Saying the cheese is "actually" good implies that the writer thought it wouldn't be good (not to mention the "I gotta say," which implies that she is reluctantly making the statement.) This diminishes the news that "We are carrying a great new cheese you'll want to buy." In this case, the owner of the cheese store isn't trying to assuage her readers' fears, but at the same time is barely giving real praise to the product. Halfhearted praise isn't the way to get customers in the store to buy your new item.

Another thing to watch out for in your presentation is language that overemphasizes the negatives. When sharing bad news with your audience, you -- of course -- want to be honest, direct and straightforward. You don't want to hide anything or try to obscure any information or data that would help your audience understand the issue.

However.

You also don't want to go on and on, finding new ways to say the same distressing thing over and over.

Example: "I know in the past we've had some problems with the health department, but we've figured out how to work with the city now. So even though our relationship with the health department wasn't great before and we had a hard time during every inspection, we're doing better in our communications and compliance." Is it necessary to beat this dead horse about the bad relationship with the health department? No. Say it once, make it clear that there has been a problem, but it has been resolved.

Another example: "Last year we didn't have the right people in place to make improvements happen. Our leadership team fell apart and we were stuck with only two people who knew what they were doing. It was really hard, with the economy and with the turnover. Several new hires didn't work out. Now we have the right people to lead us in a new direction." The problem with going on and on about the same issue (and adding new ones that may or may not be relevant) is that you start to sound like you're making excuses. "It's hard." "The economy is bad." "We didn't have enough people to do the job."

These might all be legitimate reasons why the company struggled, but your audience will now dwell on these negatives, fearing they'll continue happening and having little faith that anything will change. Instead, be very specific about the problem: "We lost three critical employees, forcing us to put our new initiatives on hold. With the new staff we've brought in in the last three months, the initiatives are back on track."

1. Keep your language strong and positive.

2. Don't overemphasize the negatives.

3. Focus on what IS rather than what ISN'T.

4. Instead of saying "Blah blah bad thing, but blah blah good thing," just say, "Blah blah good thing."

These language shifts will encourage your audience to see the positive in what you're saying while understanding the negatives as well.

What are your tips for making a "bad news" presentation more positive?

Address your audience's fears up front

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 08:00:02 PDT

I came across this sentence on an online subscription page: "And of course we’ll also send you 30 emails a day asking you to buy various unrelated things – just kidding!"

I had to laugh. This company is going in the right direction by addressing this issue up front. One thing that would keep me (and many others) from signing up for an e-newsletter or downloadable product is the fear of being bombarded by hundreds of e-mails once I sign up. By approaching this fear with acknowledgement and humor, the company reduces the tension and gets the signup.

There are times when we give a presentation that we know will cause tension. Before we even begin, we know there is resistance, hostility, distraction, disbelief or suspicion in the room. Should we ignore the tension and jump right into our points? Should we pretend the tension doesn't exist and go straight for the upside? Unfortunately, no. Your audience won't be able to pay attention to a word you say if you don't address what's upsetting them right at the beginning.

I have a client who has to give a report at corporate headquarters in a few weeks. The numbers aren't good, but there are promising signs that business is turning around. However, my client knows that if she doesn't address the negatives up front, the executives won't be concentrating on anything she's saying. They want to hear the bad news, discuss the bad news, and THEN move on to the good news. Luckily, there IS good news.

When I used to give presentations in high schools about unhealthy relationships and domestic violence, I knew that some boys in every class would already be resistant and defensive. They expected me to come into their classroom and start "bashing" men. So I started right off asking this question: If we know that the majority of relationship violence is perpetrated by men, does that mean that the majority of men are violent? This brought the issue on everyone's mind right to the forefront. We were able to have a brief discussion acknowledging one truth about abusive relationships at the same time another truth was revealed: that only a small percentage of men are abusive in relationships. This simple opening relieved most of the tension in the room and I was able to continue on with my presentation with a much more open-minded audience.

No matter how bad the news, no matter how uncomfortable the topic, there is an upside. Dig deep enough and you'll find your audience's light at the end of the tunnel.

Get the ugly stuff out of the way first. Make sure you acknowledge their fears and concerns and give the group ample time to discuss what needs to be discussed. Put the negatives out there and then put them to bed. And then -- move forward. Bring your audience forward with you as you focus on the new direction, the solutions to the problem and the future vision.

For more on this topic, check out my previous article "Tough topics, tough audiences."

What's your favorite gag?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 10:26:47 PDT

I love a good laugh, and I love a good gag. And what I mean by a "good gag," is that it's a humorous routine that's repeated, but it's repeated in a way that it doesn't get stale or overused.

In 2009, the women nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy had a gag. As their names were called, the camera showed each woman wearing some sort of silly glasses. I still remember how hard I laughed as the camera lingered on Kristin Wiig while she raised a monacle to one eye, then slowly added a pipe with her other hand.

This year, nominees for Best Actress in a Comedy had their own gag. As Amy Poehler's name was read as a nominee, she startled everyone by jumping out of her seat and running up on stage. At first, it looked like the gag was that she thought she won. But it got funnier.

She stood to the side of the announcers, shaking out her hands and deep breathing, and they -- with puzzled looks on their faces -- continued reading the nominees' names. One by one, the nominees approached the stage and joined the rest of the women, holding hands like the top ten contestants in a beauty pageant.

When Melissa McCarthy's name was announced as the winner, all the other nominees gathered around, embracing her with genuine support and excitement. When she emerged from the huddle, she was carrying roses and sporting a tiara! The whole bit was planned by Amy Poehler, and although the nominees didn't know exactly what was going to happen, they all joined in wholeheartedly.

Melissa McCarthy said in her speech, "It's my first and best pageant ever!"

(Laura Linney wiping lipstick from her teeth: priceless.)

Another gag that is regularly repeated at the Emmys is the creative way the comedy writing teams are portrayed.

There are typically more than a dozen names read for each show's nominees for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Series, so these bits are prepared and taped beforehand. This year, as Saturday Night Live's names were read, various images of Justin Timberlake were flashed on the screen (appropriate, as he is a recurring guest host). Late Night With Jimmy Fallon's team was represented by cute puppies in human clothes. The Colbert Report had all the writers in a room, and they all shouted out their names at the same time. The Daily Show With Jon Stewart had each writer, in a goofy costume, on a Newsweek magazine cover.

I've come to enjoy and look forward to these surprises. Of course, they're not really surprises any more, except for the creativity of new writers and performers putting their own spin on the gags each year. I anticipated these comedy gags, knowing that someone will do something... but what?

What are some of your favorite repeated gags?

If it matters to you, it can matter to your audience

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 11:53:15 PDT

A client recently told me that part of her problem around creating an engaging presentation about the work she does is that "It's just a job." She will be introducing her company as a sponsor at an industry networking event soon, and she has no real motivation to speak. She has no emotional connection to the work and therefore can't see how to make it exciting for the audience.

We talk a lot in the public speaking world about "What's in it for the audience," but in this case, I think it's critical that my client ask, "What's in it for me?"

As a speaker, we are frequently put in the position of giving presentations we don't care much about. A department report in a staff meeting, a compliance presentation, a discussion of company financials that only 5% of your audience understands: Sometimes we just don't have any enthusiasm for our topic. At the same time, we're told to make our topic engaging and interesting for the audience. What to do?

First, ask yourself, "What's in it for me?"

What DO you love about your job? What makes you want to do the work you do? Where do you find satisfaction? What accomplishments make you feel good about your work?

In the case of my client, she enjoyed knowing that, by training employees how to succeed on a particular kind of test, she was helping them achieve goals to further their careers. By helping these employees succeed on the test, she was also making the industry better for all of us who are consumers of that industry. We talked about how to make that the focus of her speech; if that's what she cares about, let's make the audience care about it, too. And it will be a much more interesting speech than, "Here's what we do... we have x numbers years of experience... we are customer-oriented... hire us."

Deep down inside, we can always find the thing that clicks about a topic. If you want to persuade your audience to do something, whether it's hire you, purchase your product, give to your cause or just tell others about your company, you have to dig down and find that thing. When you find it, it's like gold, because it MATTERS to you. And if it matters to you, you can make it matter to the audience.

For more on finding the emotional appeal in your topic, read:

It's just emotion

There is no such thing as a dry topic

Don't forget the emotional appeal

Don't let the confidence-suckers get you down

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 10:22:20 PDT

At the Emmys last night, there was a similar thread running through several of the winners' speeches.

Jim Parsons, upon winning his award for "Big Bang Theory," said, "I was assured by many people in my life that this wasn't happening."

Julian Fellowes, recipient of the award for Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special, for his series "Downton Abbey," opened his speech:

"When we were in the hotel a bit earlier, my wife said to me, 'I think we should relax and enjoy the evening because I don't think we're going to win.'"

There was at least one other speech that started this way, but I don't remember whose it was. If you know, please remind me.

There are a lot of people in the entertainment industry who are superstitious and won't write speeches when nominated, for fear of "jinxing" their chances. If you watched the Emmys, you saw several of those last night, who then fumbled through their words, forgetting who to acknowledge and generally giving messy speeches.

But there's also another kind of "jinxing." It's when your colleagues, family or friends don't give you the credit you deserve. Every performer, director, writer, musician or other contributor to a TV show who was nominated last night deserved it. Is there any doubt? Out of all the episodes of all the shows and movies on TV, only five or so get chosen as the top nominees in each category. So why would Julian Fellowes' wife and the people surrounding Jim Parsons try to convince them otherwise? I'm sure the thought process goes something like this: "We're up against a lot of good contenders, veteran Emmy winners (and so forth), so why get our hopes up? Let's just have a good time and see what happens."

The truth is, being nervous on the night of the Emmys, for everyone except those who host and perform during the evening, is a bit of a luxury. Nominees aren't required to DO anything but sit in their seat. If they win, there's a short speech to give. So if friends and family have knocked them down a peg, it's not like their performance is going to suffer as it might if they were being asked to put on a show themselves.

But those negative attitudes wear on a person. And the more other people tell you you don't deserve to win, or you won't do a good job, or there are so many others who are better than you, the more you start to believe it. The confidence you do have starts to trickle away. You begin to doubt yourself.

Most of us won't win awards for our speaking. We are in the trenches, aiming to persuade colleagues and coworkers, trying to sell products, promoting a cause, teaching students, or giving important information someone needs to do a job or improve their life. We are not hoping for or expecting prizes for what we do.

The prize is being asked back, getting the promotion, acquiring the client, or on a more mundane level, just knowing we did a good job and that someone's life or work is going to be a touch better because of what we said.

The last thing we need is someone telling us we're not good enough and we won't succeed.

Don't be the person who plays this role in others' lives. Be supportive. Give feedback that's helpful and constructive, but not discouraging or mean. Tell your friends and family members they can do it, whatever "it" may be.

And don't listen to these people in your life! Don't let them drain you of your enthusiasm. Don't let them suck out your self-confidence. They may tell you they "only want to help," but they are not helping. They are making themselves feel better by making you feel bad. They are preying on your confidence and positive energy because they don't have any.

To Jim Parsons and Julian Fellowes, and anyone else last night who doubted their win: You deserve it! And to my readers who doubt their abilities every day: You can do it!

Is lack of attention costing you business?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:43:03 PDT

I've heard (and made) this complaint a lot lately: People don't listen. People don't read. People don't pay attention to detail. Laura Bergells wrote a post about non-responsive answers yesterday, and my husband is constantly lamenting the food manufacturers showing up at his workplace who can't follow the simplest of instructions for becoming a vendor.

Here's an example from Laura:

"What's a non-responsive answer? It's when you ask a direct question, but receive an answer to a question you didn't ask.

Q: 'Do you sell Brand X?'
A: 'We recently changed suppliers.'

Q: 'How's Thursday at 3pm for our meeting?'
A: 'I'm in the office all day on Thursday.'

Q: 'What do you say we go to X Restaurant for lunch at noon today?'
A: 'I went there for lunch last month.'

While conversations can be valuable relationship builders, these types of answers lead to annoying and pointless conversations. They're relationship destroyers, not relationship builders."

Here's an example from my husband about a vendor hopeful:

"How's this for a presentation? [Vendor prospect] emailed the general webmaster about a month ago to ask what the procedure was to carry new products. I asked her to send a wholesale product/price list and some information on the company.

This is what she sent [a month later]. The company information is clearly scanned in. Below that she says, 'Here is the product list we talked about earlier this week.'

Then, 'Please feel free to contact me with any questions. We can schedule to have me bring samples by sometime next week.'

They only list the suggested retail, no wholesale prices, and their tagline at the bottom has a misspelled word in it. They could benefit from a broker." (Here's another of his recent stories.)

[Update: When he finally received the wholesale price list, the wholesale prices were higher than the retail prices sent earlier.]

Here's an example from my inbox: I ask a client who wants to meet for coaching to send me their availability. We have three conversations back and forth before I get this information, even after sending them my availability to trigger a response. Meanwhile, a week goes by and their speaking engagement is a week closer.

People of the world, I know you're busy. In fact, you pound it into my head every time I say "How are you?" Your response: "Oh, I'm so busy, it's ridiculous." (See this post about "busyness" being carried around like a badge of honor.)

But busyness is never an excuse for poor communication.

Communication isn't just telling or talking or presenting or giving information. Communication also involves listening, interpreting, and written expression, among other things. It's hearing what the other person says and making sure you understand by asking clarifying questions. It's checking for typos in your proposals and invoices. It's using appropriate visuals and graphics to emphasize and enhance your message. You are responsible for all of these aspects of communication when working with others in the business world. At least if you want to move forward, make progress and be successful.

I love this response to the question of the month in Real Simple magazine: "What is one lesson you learned in school that you'll never forget?"

"One morning during fourth grade, my teacher handed out a list of questions and told us to read through them before answering. I went to work without reading the whole list. Minutes later, when I was only halfway done, she asked us to put our pencils down. It turned out the last 'question' actually read, 'Do not answer any of these questions.' Ever since, I've always read the instructions before beginning a project. It has helped me avoid countless missteps." ~ Jeannette Gosnell

We've all been the in position of getting halfway through a recipe or putting together a piece of furniture only to find we are missing an ingredient or tool that we need to complete the project. The consequences may not be major, but are definitely frustrating. And we'll never get back the time we wasted because of our inattention to detail.

If you're a speaker trying to spread the word about your cause, your service, or your product, only half-reading e-mails or half-listening to instructions is going to cause you problems. Maybe you'll show up late, wearing the wrong clothes, with the wrong presentation for the wrong audience!

Or maybe the consequences won't immediately be quite that dramatic. But after a while, your contacts are not going to want to work with you any more. When it takes five e-mails to accomplish what one could do, or five phone conversations to get what they want from you, you have become difficult. Organizers will stop calling. They will stop inviting you to speak. When you can't communicate effectively with potential clients, they will stop working with you -- or not work with you in the first place.

Take the time to read the e-mail, two or three times if necessary. Take notes when you're on the phone with that potential client. Make sure you're really hearing and understanding what's being asked of you. Then respond to the questions clearly, concisely and with no ambiguity.

It's not that hard, and you're not that busy. And believe me -- you will stand out from the rest of the sloppy communicators trying to get the same gig as you.

Public speaking vs. facial: Which do you prefer?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 10:57:29 PDT

Yesterday, I had a spa day with hubby, to belatedly celebrate our 22nd anniversary. I had chosen to have a facial while he was having a massage, because the other services I wanted were already taken by the time I booked our visit.

The thought of someone putting their hands in my face had always seemed pretty unpleasant to me. From past experience with my bratty little brother and an annoying boyfriend, anyone's hands near my face made me feel like I couldn't breathe, like I would suffocate. So I always assumed I wouldn't like a facial.

When my skin care technician(?) came out to get me in the waiting area, she commented that she always waits until the other therapists and technicians have gathered their clients, because her voice doesn't project and she can't be heard above all the others calling out names. I joked that, as a public speaking coach, perhaps I could help her with that!

I told her of my concerns about having my face touched, and she was very understanding; apparently, I'm not the only one who gets claustrophobic in steam rooms, either. I also mentioned feeling vulnerable in the locker room, realizing I had to leave all my belongings behind. The robes don't even have pockets, because so many clients would leave valuables in them by accident. To leave my clothes, shoes, jewelry, money, identification, and lip balm(!) in the locker room, and wander upstairs into the mysterious world of facials made me feel a little anxious.

She said, "Just like how I feel about public speaking!"

I laughed at the idea that what we were really talking about was the great unknown.

For someone who's an inexperienced speaker, not knowing what's going to happen and not feeling in control is extremely anxiety-producing. How will the audience react? Will I lose my place? What if I go over? Feeling vulnerable and naked in front of an audience is a commonly described experience for new speakers.

For me, a facial newbie who fears suffocating in a clay mask, it's the exact same feeling! Lack of control, not knowing what might happen, feeling vulnerable in nothing but a robe, without my belongings.

I'm happy to report that I enjoyed the facial, no longer mysterious and scary, and will probably have another one some day, if the occasion arises.

I hope that my skin care technician is someday able face her fear of the unknown as well.

Lecture vs. presentation

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 11:18:51 PDT

I have a friend who recently presented a lecture at a conference. She's in a creative field where you would least expect to hear the word "lecture" come out of her mouth, yet that's what her presentation was called. A lecture.

I avoid this word, if at all possible, because I feel that it has negative connotations, and not just as a style of presenting.

I rarely do this in a blog post or presentation (it's a real amateur move to start a presentation with a dictionary definition), but in order to make my point, I looked up the word "lecture." There are two meanings of "lecture." One is about presenting: "a discourse given before an audience or class especially for instruction" or "a speech read or delivered before an audience or class, especially for instruction or to set forth some subject." The other is about reprimand: "a speech of warning or reproof as to conduct; a long, tedious reprimand" or "a formal reproof." The thesaurus shows everything from "address," "deliver" and "expound," to "harangue," "berate" and "preach."

Most of us have experienced both kinds of lectures, but the kind that sticks with me is the kind I got from my parents when I came home late or forgot to do my chores. That's the version of "lecture" that reverberates when I hear the word. When I think of the word "lecture," I literally think, "Don't lecture me."

A lecture really does combine the aspects of both a presentation and of a reprimand or reproof -- especially the tedious part. (A lecture and a lectern are just made for each other, by the way.) A lecture is a one-way spiel that doesn't invite audience interaction, assumes the speaker is the keeper of all the knowledge, and puts the speaker above the listeners. Just like when you got busted for not putting gas in the car, causing your dad to be late to work the next day.

Now, I understand that this is common terminology in academia: When you go to class, your professor doesn't give a presentation; your professor gives a lecture. And I would like to think that not all lectures meet the criteria of "long and tedious." But really, when you think of a lecture, do you think of audience involvement? Do you think of humor, good visuals, demonstrations, props, activities, dialogue and engagement? Me neither.

Lecture: I'd like to ban both the word and the act from the speaking world. Let's move away from lecture and toward presentation. Away from "expounding" and toward "conversing." Away from "holding forth" and toward "connecting."

Even as the province of angry parents trying to teach their teens a lesson, it rarely works.

Fall presentations are on your calendar... are you ready?

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 13:36:05 PDT

It's fall, one of the two times during the year, along with January, when many of us think about starting fresh. We've taken some downtime, we've revived our spirits, and we're ready to jump back into work.

Many of you will have speaking engagements this fall and winter. They're already on your calendar, in fact. But have you started working on your presentation? Have you even thought about your presentation? I'm guessing "no."

Get the jump on your fall speaking engagements. Get out in front of your fear and anxiety NOW, with thorough preparation and no surprises.

If you're in the Santa Barbara area, my six-week public speaking group coaching program starts September 28. It's a great opportunity to explore your public speaking questions and concerns in a safe, encouraging environment. The group takes six people, max. You also get several chances to practice mini-presentations and see yourself on video. "Get to...?" you ask. Yes, because watching yourself on video is one of the best ways to see what's working and what's not working in your presentations! Sign up now, because group size is limited.

In or out of the Santa Barbara area, I offer individual coaching in person or over the phone. I can help you create that presentation from scratch, build your PowerPoint that goes with it, or revise material you already have. Whether you're delivering a 5-minute intro at a luncheon or an all-day in-depth training, I can help you put together a presentation that's engaging and memorable for your audience.

In the works and planned to launch this fall, I've got an online group coaching program, modeled after my in-person program, but available to anyone -- anywhere! This program will incorporate video, discussions, live chat, handouts and will be as close as possible to my in-person group coaching program. I will keep you posted as it evolves!

You already have presentations on the calendar. You can avoid thinking about them till the last minute out of anxiety, which will just about guarantee a haphazard and unfinished talk. Or you can start now, get ahead of the game, and offer something special to your audience, something that no one else is offering, something that they need, want and care about. Call or e-mail me, and let's make it happen!

Make your audience feel like rock stars

lisa@coachlisab.com (Lisa Braithwaite) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:57:45 PDT

Have you ever gone to a concert or watched one on TV? Specifically a rock or other popular music concert?

Have you noticed that, at many or most concerts (I don't have a scientific number, but let's just say many), the band holds the microphone out to the audience at some point for them to sing? The audience members are already singing, of course. It's one place where you can sing at the top of your lungs, and still no one hears you!

But when the singer points that microphone at the audience, the volume turns up a notch, and even if half of those 1,000 audience members are singing off-key, you'd never know it. It's a gift the singer gives the audience, and everyone participates. Why?

Audience members wants to be part of the experience.

Audience members want to bond with the performer.

Audience members want to bond with each other.

As a speaker, you have plenty of opportunities, should you choose to use them, to give the audience their moment. It's a simple thing but yields big results. You're not a rock star, and you're not going to invite the audience to sing (or maybe you are), so how do you incorporate the audience into the experience?

1. Ask questions that let audience members share their own experiences as they relate to your topic.

2. Have audience members converse with each other in pairs or small groups to discuss issues and get to know each other.

3. Provide activities and exercises that allow the audience to apply their knowledge to a problem and solve it.

4. Offer unstructured time during breaks or lunch where your participants can chat freely without having to do any "work."

Everyone has a lifetime of knowledge and experience that can enrich your presentation. Audience members want to share, they want to be heard, they want to participate, and they want to learn from each other as well as from the speaker.

Are you going to waste that awesome opportunity to make your presentation that much more interesting and engaging by pretending you're the only one who has something of value to say?

Invite your audience to "sing." Bring them into the experience. Make them feel like rock stars.