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Normally I don’t do this BUT as I was browsing YouTube I came across this woman that I just couldn’t stop watching and because I love you guys out there, I thought I’d share this one particular video that made me laugh – loudly – in a room all by myself – like a crazy person. ENJOY IT! (And, sometimes…it’s true – lol)

What Girls Think About During Sex!

What if I told you there was an exercise regimen that tones your muscles, strengthens your sexual stamina and that you can do in the comfort of your home, would you try it?

A 2005 NewYork Times study said the yoga practitioners who were overweight at 45 lost an average of 5 pounds, as opposed to an average gain of 13 pounds in overweight non-practitioners.

And we don’t even NEED a study to tell us that our own self-image greatly effects our feelings of attractiveness and sex appeal. Even losing as little as five pounds can decrease your risk of disease by 25% – 50%.

Now, if you’re a guy, you’re probably thinking yoga to be an impossible feat performed only by mystic martial arts masters on mountain tops in the center of a rock circle practicing movements.

Or maybe your mind’s eye is  seeing yourself in a local class surrounded by fit, athletic and nubile young bodies all around you as you bend, grunt and…(please, god  no)…..fart your way into a semblance of down dog.

If you’re a woman (and we already know how image-conscious WE can be) you probably have much worse floating around your mind, discouraging you from attending next Wednesday’s class.

Don’t let fear keep you unhealthy in life and in bed. Yoga classes are not like a judgmental day at the gym. Yoga attendees are more accepting of limitations, of self-image and of bodily expressions during exercise. (Trust me, no one will even mention it)

Why? because we’ve ALL been there. And we ALL understand. And we’re encouraging you to be a happier you. It’s part of the program to hope for and encourage a happier, healthier (and more flexible) you!

You say you lack the energy? Well according to a 2009 study conducted by the National Sleep Foundation a full third of women say tiredness causes them to cut back on sex. And what about our American lifestyles?

At least 50% of our day is spent in a sitting position. (traffic, work, traffic, dinner, tv, internet) And THAT means restricted blood flow to the abdominal and pelvic muscles. You know, the ones that make sex act and feel AWESOME.

So c’mon, do yourselves a favor and sign up. Even if it’s not at a local center, you can still do it at home on your own mat and chuckle to yourself as your muscles tone and your body blares it’s happiness to the world.

Your partner will thank you for it later sexy.

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Is Homosexuality STILL An Issue?! Is Love?
• A Unique EMT Response - Sex & Suffering with a Little Humor
• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us because We Rock!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

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One of our members recently asked us: “I wonder if most women enjoy receiving oral sex?” We’ve heard your question and we have an answer!

Here at Speak Sexy we think this is a very valid question since, in most popular porn, a woman receiving oral sex is usually  a 2 minute segue way to penetrative sex. And since 67% of a male teen’s first exposure to sex is internet porn, we understand how oral sex FOR women might not seem like something they would necessarily enjoy. But listen to this. According to Kinsey Research19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month.

• Half or more of women ages 18 to 39 reported giving or receiving oral sex in the past 90 days. (So women DO like it)
• Receptive oral sex is reported by more than half of women who are in a co-habitating relationship between the ages of 18 and 69.
• A similar pattern was found for women performing oral sex.
• For most age groups of women, perceived health status was significantly associated with having performed oral sex in the past 90 days

Some cultures associate men giving oral sex to women as submissive or belittling choosing, instead, to view performing oral intimacy on their female partner to be less macho. (huh? Yeah, confuses me too) And that might explain a little about Kinsey’s resent numbers. As of November, 2011 (the posting of this article)here is a quick view of both ends of the oral sex spectrum.

In other words: More men receive oral sex than they give in these polled heterosexual relationships. (And, unfortunately girls, it just gets worse as you get older.) That’s just not fair. But now we have to ask ourselves what is it that’s causing such a growing gap between what most women give and what most women get?

Our culture is still, essentially, a slightly upgraded Plymouth Rock of Puritans with over 12  states making oral sex a criminal act despite marital status or consent in some cases. Ok, so it’s illegal in some places. But c’mon GUYS & GIRLS! It’s hot! WHAT is the problem?

Alright, so maybe it’s the “Fear of the Unknown”. Not one of us was born a porn star with oral sex skills. No surprise. But what most Americans don’t seem to know or understand is that with practice comes skill.

And what other “skill” is as fun, intimate, bonding and enjoyable with your partner as oral sex?!? Who CARES if you’re not very good at it. You’re not being judged by a panel of sexperts and if you’re with a woman who has half a brain she’s not going to complain about it. She’s going to lovingly give guidance and encouragement.

I have to admit that the term “bumping uglies” isn’t the best catch phrase any part of our bodies have ever received. I think the penis, fully erect, can be a beautiful thing with the right person.

And a woman’s pussy (yes, I will call it a pussy because any other term either sounds too harsh or too medical) is one of the most beautiful parts of the body I have ever seen. So it’s not the view but with so many slang names for our tasty bits, perhaps we’re hiding behind silly terminology to mask our secret fascinations and obsessions.

Ok, so maybe it’s the lack of communication between a couple? With so much conversation being condensed to “simpl & lzy txt dvoid o’ proz/style/non-pc onesty” we’re cutting ourselves short of the benefits from honest, open and unafraid communication. If you could say whatever you wanted to your partner and know that whatever you said would be understood and accepted without a heated argument or hurt feelings, wouldn’t you be more open with your partner?

If you knew your partner loved you and accepted you for who you are and all that you’ve told them about your passions and desires, I think those numbers up there would dramatically improve, don’t you?

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us because We Rock!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

What? The world isn’t flat? Well guess what I heard over the weekend. The Moon is NOT made of cheese NOR is there such a thing as Santa Claus apparently.

So it amazes me when people are surprised to hear the belief or opinion that homosexual love is natural. That it’s not some “scourge of society, rotting our fabric from within”. What’s wrong with letting people simply “be”? I’m not sure if you’ve looked around lately but socially excepted routs of partnering aren’t doing very well themselves.

I’ve been in a few relationships that lamed out sexually.  One of them was a long-term relationship. All she wanted was continual and ongoing penetration. That’s it. No kink, no creativity, no zest.
Talk to older couples and they’ll say “sex wanes but a good partner will be far more valuable in your later years”. But I must disagree. Because if the sex and intimacy sucks NOW what are the chances you’ll even want to talk to them in your old age?
Sex, for some, is a way of love’s expression. For some, sex is THE BEST way to feel inside. The BEST way to show love. The BEST way of spiritual and physical being. We aren’t “addicts” because we love sex. We’re healthy. Just as healthy as those who “don’t need it more than once every 2 weeks”.
In the relationship I’m currently in now, they have become distant and sex is rare. This comes from their belief that “The Honeymoon Phase” is over and now sex isn’t that important. What kind of “Bait & Switch” tactic is that?
As a result my skin feels uncomfortable from the lack of touch. As if it crawls and itches just to feel something. Anything.

For as long as I choose to be in this relationship I consign myself to this reality and to the reality that their opinion may not ever change. In the “old days” people would just suck it up and be miserable until they die. But I think each following generation is supposed to be more aware, more enlightened and less closed-minded. Aren’t these the basics of evolving?

Otherwise why did we ever stop burning witches or sending women away into caves during their periods? I knew a guy who had a religious conflict with sex. He was a very sexual man who was constantly at odds with his faith and his body.

And I would watch him be happy expressing his body in a healthy, loving way and then become deeply depressed for it. He felt guilt as a result of his actions conflicting with his beliefs as well as for the following weeks of repentance after having told his religious leader . (It’s like telling on yourself for touching yourself.) But six months or so later he’d do it again.

The problem with rules are that they are mainly designed for controlling people. And I feel strongly that in order for a soul/person to be happy it/they must be expressed. Not just in faith but in physicality. Look at human history when we’d “box” the human spirit either individually or en mass. It shouldn’t be done. A few rules are good as guidelines but too many suppresses and I don’t think we’ve reached that point of homeostasis yet.

I’ve had a few partners both long term as well as short term and one of the many things I’ve learned is this:  Sex is empty, cold and devoid of the potential for spiritual growth without love and intimate connection propelling it. But I also know that so very long ago, the exact origins & details possibly lost in antiquity, doctrine concerning sexuality was a societal form of control. You control someone’s sex, you control them. The Catholic Church picked up on that trick a long time ago. (Poor Ireland was only JUST recently “given permission” to use condoms.)

My spiritual/sexual litmus test goes like this: When I have sex with or make love to this person, do I feel closer to the innocent need to give love? Am I giddy inside to be so connected to him/her? Do I feel that through this act my soul soars or diminishes? When we part, am I more fulfilled inside or do I feel as if they have taken something away from me that now aches?

Sex and sexual expressions are, I think, the only human and natural impulse to receive the most control and suppression (possible repression?) in the history of humankind. Just thinking of it makes me physically/emotionally and spiritually sad inside. Do I think people should throw sex around like currency?

Never in a million years. It’s something that should be shared with like minds. It should be shared with people who give love, trust, connection, intimacy, patience and understanding tolerance.  I fear, at this time in human history and development, sex is still a criminal act unless done within the confines of imperfect dictation and guidelines. Like a flower growing stunted in a single plant encasement. You see the vibrant colors. You see the wish to bloom and grow as it presses against the inside of the glass and you feel sad for it. We should be free to love who we wish in the manner we wish to provided they feel the same. Love should be multiplied, not divided or subtracted.

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us because We Rock!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

Then this 2011 Halloween weekend is perfectly suited for you!

If it’s just you and your significant other heading out, I hope you made sure to pick up some scintillating outfits to make any zombie’s jaw fall right off. Perhaps highlight your look with…..

Halloween make-up

	Paper Magic Group Blood Line Make-Up, Flesh And Blood Kit  Amazon Price: $9.99 List Price: $8.99
	White Creme Makeup  Amazon Price: $0.90

For a few less expensive Halloween Costume ideas, check out Yahoo.com’s Costume on a Budget Ideas!

All dressed up? Next, get into the mood by creating your own sexy pumpkin designs. (your pumpkin just might turn into a subliminal suggestion when you come home later *wink*)

Lastly, fill up your candy bowl with fun, adult candy to wrap your (or someone else’s) lips around. Then head out to any one of these amazing events like

- Aloha Tower – Oahu, Hawaii – Crazy, Sexy, Ghoul Event

- Taboo Masquerade Ball in YBor City/Tampa, Florida

Or just take some tips from the King of Swing himself, Hugh Hefner: Playboy Halloween Ball 2011. *fans self*

But wait. Are you having your own decadent event? Well we have a few…suggestions.  Along with the naughty candy we have a few party games that could break the ice and loosen the clothing. Here are a few drinking games you might enjoy. Drinking games not entertaining enough? Try these…

Sexy Games:

View Enlarged Image Anal Ring Toss Game – (disc) You`ll laugh your ass off!!! Great for couples! View Enlarged Image
Bedroom Rockstar Lover`s race each other down the his and hers guitar necks while performing foreplay activities. The guitar neck is divided into 4 sections, each with a corresponding card deck consisting of 30 unique activities. As players make their way through the sect In Stock Price: $18.90

When you come home after the spooky & sexy festivities you should be ready to enjoy some of your own special events. Askmen.com suggest you try out some of these sinfully spirited positions. Either way make sure something gets smeared in your lusty and wolfish activities and enjoy this Halloween 2011!!!!

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

True story:

It was the summer of 1999 and I was an EMT with the Naval Hospital in Lemoore, California when we received a call for an emergency at a residence on base calling to report a “horrible accident” and to expedite our arrival. We had no idea what to expect. That’s part of the job. But this…went a little past my experiences.

When we approached the home there was no indication that anyone was there but following protocol we knocked on the door and awaited a response. After the second knock we requested fire and police assistance to gain entry to the home in question.

When we did gain entrance we were escorted to the master bedroom where the scene unfolded before our eyes just like this: a very attractive blonde woman, mid 20’s, (I thought I may have recognized her) completely nude except for the sheets covering her chest and lower back.

She looked to be more embarrassed then distressed. Her concern was mainly for the man she was straddling. He was in his late 40’s, on his back, gripping the sheets as if they were the only things keeping him alive.

His face was bright red and he was sweating buckets. (Imagine a weight lifter dead lifting more then he can handle) The pillow beneath his head was soaked. My paramedic, after a few brief questions and a quick reassurance to the man in extreme pain, decided to transport them just as they were, in that same position. The man yelled at every stop, turn and bump in the road.

At the hospital they were able to find out what exactly had happened and treat it. During their sexcapade she had shifted her hips too sharply and had caused lateral bending of the markedly thinned and stiff tunica albuginea (white covering) resulting in the Fracturing of his Penis.

IN short: she bent Mr. Happy like a maxed-out garden hose. And with nowhere for the in-flow of blood to go he swelled up just like a tennis ball inside her and couldn’t pull himself out.

But wait…there’s more.

Small, remote military bases like the one aforementioned are a lot like small towns. And most often the background of a story or situation comes out not from the medical community but from the surrounding community. So it was interesting to discover a few weeks later that Mr. Fracture’s acrobatic partner wasn’t Mrs. Fracture.

Longest family visiting hour EVER…..

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

A lot of couples feel your pain, especially for those of us in relationships over 2 – 4 years in length or longer. This has a lot to do with your bodies and the hormones within them.  The first moments of attraction are fueled by testosterone and estrogen. Adrenalin kicks in as a relationship progresses, which causes new couples to feel excited upon seeing each other.

Dopamine is also released by new couples, which is also known as the excitement drug because it causes a rush of pleasure when you are around your mate. (That was you during the honeymoon phase way back when you couldn’t wait to get home and have insane monkey sex anywhere you happened to find yourself in the house)

Once a couple has established themselves, oxytocin, which is also called the cuddle hormone, is released. This hormone bonds couples together the same way it bonds a mother to her newborn. Bonds, yes, but excites?  Traditionally most men thrive on the new sensations and “conquests” to be had with new partners.  But most women (and more to the point, their orgasms) thrive on this new arena you now find yourselves in.

Most couples reach this point by the fourth year. Some couples sooner and others a little later. But if you remain with that one person long enough, it WILL eventually happen. (It’s unavoidable and inevitable) Does this mean you’re doomed to repetitive and unappealing sex? Not so. Believe it or not, this is her zone for the best sex she’s going to have.

As Emily Nagoski writes in the “Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms,” “A woman is less likely to have orgasms early in a relationship. Her body needs time to adapt to the new partner, to learn to trust him or her, and to relax into the knowledge that her partner accepts and appreciates her body.”

Predictability has a large part to play in her orgasm.

What does that mean for the other partner?

You now have to retrain yourself for what turns you on to match this. If you’re like me you enjoy your sex most when you’re really pleasing your partner. So although the sex may be, for the most part, repetitive it’s not the end of the world. Here’s why.

Any time you introduce newness or novelty into your sex life, you are tasking the pre-frontal cortex with learning and adapting, which means you’re thinking about what you’re doing and making it harder to cross the voluntary/involuntary threshold. For some people this leads to an issue known as “spectatoring.”

“Spectatoring is the art of worrying about sex while you’re having it,” writes Nagoski. “Rather than paying attention to the pleasant things your body is experiencing, it’s like you’re floating above the bed watching, noticing how her/your breasts fall or the squish of cottage cheese on the back of your thigh or the roll at your belly…. You’re worried about the sex you’re having, instead of enjoying the sex you’re having.”

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us!)
• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

Most people in this situation would be way too distracted by the abject horror of being a Nazi prisoner of war as well as the impending doom of ethnic cleansing to be on the lookout for wartime relations, right?  But then, most people aren’t Horace Greasley apparently.

Mr. Greasley met Rosa Rauchbach — the youngest daughter and secretary of the quarry director of his labor camp — and they quickly fell for each other. Greasley decided – well, if he’s going out, he’s going out in style: by having steamy, secret prisoner sex. But after almost a full year of life-endangering activity right under the noses of the Third Reich, Greasley was transferred to a different camp, and that’s where this story goes from just awesome to slightly bat-shit insane.

Mr. Greasley wasn’t going to let a little thing like Hitler’s entire Nazi war machine get in the way of routinely changing the oil in his engine. With the help of some fellow prisoners  he tunneled under the wire fence of his camp and tasted freedom. He could have easily escaped into the night and over the border to the nearest neutral country and waited out the rest of the war.  But instead he risked his life (again) to hook up with his femme fatal.

The sex-drunk Czech walked to Rauchbach’s camp, sneaked in, had more “relations” and sneaked out again. Then he sneaked back into his OWN camp as if nothing happened. And it wasn’t the only time her pulled it off! Not just once.

No. He managed to do it three times a week, every month.

For five years.

Either he was insanely lucky with ninja skills or the German guards were absolutely terrible at their jobs. So you might wonder, what happened to our Reich Rider, our Polish Steve McQueen? He finally did end his impressive reign of sexscapades for one reason and one reason only.

The war ended and all the prisoners in his camp were released.

C’est la vie!

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Modern Audio Erotica: Mood Music for the Masses!
• 10 Sexfests You MUST Attend!!!!
• My Most Grievous Fault / Conclusion to Mea Culpa !!

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us!)

• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

No, despite the title you won’t hear the audio track for a Vivid Special.  (Not this time at least) This post has a little more thought and creativity to it! And after you listen to a few of these you’ll see why. Now let me set it up for you…..

So there I was, Friday night…..spending a little quiet time alone with my numero uno  when, quite unexpectedly, this thought occurred to me…”Have you ever, ever, ever been in a situation where you wish you had some music to put yourself, your partner (your orgy?)  into “the mood?”. I wanted more then cuddles and a movie.

I wished I had a nice, steamy line up all ready to go. A musical cue to segue from whatever mindset we were in to one far more tantalizing and appealing. One that took a lot of thought as well as a deep love of and appreciation for music. But I was already on the couch, wanting it now but not 100% sure if my cuddle buddy was on the same sheet of music.

And there I had my conundrum.

~ Aural Sex ~

But then I found myself thinking, “Oh what ever shall I play for my and my lover’s auditory pleasure?”  So with my talent and love of musical arrangements (as well as for the sake of the aforementioned sexy mind space sacrificed at the alter of selfless generosity for my readers) I present, to you, my eclectic collection of mood music for (almost) every occasion!!

That’s right, I sacrificed my awesome mood for a potentially more enjoyable sexcapade later for when I had that line up set to go. And now…here it is….for your listening pleasure.

(There’s a comment box at the bottom where you can leave your beautifully scripted words of adoration and gratitude after you recover from the amazing night of sex these suggestions will bring you. )

FYI I’m pulling from YouTube. (and we all know how iffy they can be) so if the link’s not there when you read this I arranged them so the Artist is first and the Song title follows.

• For the Slow, Sensual Loving Types……

ATB – Missing , Lifehouse – Everything , Portishead – Glory Box , Mono – Life In Mono , Mazzy Star – Fade Into You , Enigma – Mea Culpa (Platinum Version) , Azam Ali – Dandini , Trevor Morris – Saving Josh and….of course…. Enigma – Sadness

• For the Slightly More Upbeat, Smoldering Types…

Julieta Venegas y Bajo fondo – Pa\’ Bailar , Brittney Spears – Slave 4 U ,, Siouxsie and the Banshees – Face to Face (Danny Elfman Version) , Pussycat Dolls – Buttons, Afrojack (fet. Eva Simons) – Take over Control

Oh?  Too slow you say? In the mood for something a little edgier? Well I’m never one to knowingly disappoint.

Type O Negative – Wolf Moon , Combiechrist – Fuck Machine , Benny Benassi – Who’s Your Daddy?, Ei8ht – Feel It

What? Are you kidding me? Too harsh? Well I think I’ve got you going in the right direction. But maybe you’d like me to whip up something special to get things going?

Alright…try this: Take a little Jose Nunez – Bilingual , add a dash of Moby – I Like It, sprinkle in some Massive Attack (feat. Hope Sandoval) – Paradise Circus (Gui Boratto Remix) , and stir in one tea spoon of Katey Perry – E.T. for flavor.  Bon Appetite!

Watch out for that tasty Jose Nunez tidbit. YouTube is going to try to save your purity by making you log in. Silly rabbit. *gets me thinking about my rabbit again*

Grrrrrrrr…..

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More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Is Monogamy on Life Support?
  
• Hit the Floor All You Poly People

• News from the Kinsey Institute

Fun S.S. Reading Elsewhere:

• SpeakSexy on Facebook (Like Us!)

• Check Out  Our Twitter Page (It’s Awesome!)

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

Let me guess, you’re looking at your “Fun-Packed Calendar” for the year aaaand what do you see?

- Celtic Fest in the spring? Other than hot guys in kilts…not so great.
– State Fair in June? Drunk locals in bib overalls. Eh..
– Alright, how about the Renaissance Fair in the fall? Corsets & Corn Dogs. Alright, fun but not overly scintillating when the town fool begs you for money with the threat of public humiliation.

Well then grab your bags and pack your thong. (heck, go naked)  You NEEEEED to plan for these Top 10 Sex-Enhanced Festivals that will leave you with more Facebook-rocking photos than you’ll know what to do with!

Is Your Passport at the Ready?

• Mardi Gras: New Orleans, Louisiana – February

Fat Tuesday? Only if you wash down your po’boys n’ beignets with beer cuz! Usually the last Tuesday in the month of February this almost 310 year old event is hosted annually in New Orleans, Louisiana. It’s a non-stop party, and no one does in the city that never sleeps unless of course with a stranger sporting beads. This celebration of music, costumes and culture puts the sex in sexy.  Inhibitions flow as steadily as the alcohol with the local P.D. understanding of it all. So grab your beads and a King Cake and join in the fun!   If you’re in Brazil around this time make sure to enjoy their version: Carnival: Rio de Janiero, Brazil

• Hot d’Or:  Cannes, France – May

Touted as the Oscars of Porn, hosted by the French magazine Hot Vidéo, it  holds an annual two-week long Parisian Adult Awards festival just down the road from (and at the same time as) the Cannes Film Festival. Disliked by both The Cannes Film people as well as the city of Cannes itself for the crazy parties going on during the event. I’m thinking if a whole town hates it, it HAS to be good.

• Kutemajrvi Sex Festival:  Kutemajrvi, Finland – July

It’s said that Kutemajrvi is the more intellectual of the sex festivals but don’t worry there’s plenty of the actual nasty acts for all tastes as well. Professionals give lectures on all aspects of sexuality and merchandise stands display innovations in sex products. But then the ID comes out to play as dancers and performers take the stage and do things you only envisioned in your head at night. Ladies, keep an eye out for entry into the Aphrodite contest is where the women of men’s dreams compete for the festival’s top honor.

• The Berlin Love Parade: Berlin, Germany – July

Started in 1989 as an Electronic Fun Festival commemorating the fall of the Berlin Wall (and thus, not an actual acknowledged holiday) this little procession draws roughly 1.5 million scantily clad and tasty party goers looking for music, freedom and expressive sexuality. (Ich bin ein Berliner mädchen!!)

• Burning Man: Black Rock Desert, Nevada – August

Burning Man isn’t your usual festival, with big acts booked to play on massive stages. In fact, it’s more of a city than a festival, wherein almost everything that happens is created entirely by its citizens, who are active participants in the events. Nudity, self-expression and just about anything you want to do is perfectly accepted and encouraged. Bring food, a tent and some serious sun screen for your, um…pinker parts.

• Folsom Street Fair: San Francisco, California – September

Started as an annual leather-laden block party on Folsom St. in down town San Francisco. It’s a unique event filled with people in their most outrageous leather/rubber/fetish attire enjoying the world’s largest and best loved Leather fair. Covering 13 city blocks, the Fair is the largest leather/fetish event in the world and the third largest, single-day outdoor event in all of California. (400,000 people can’t be wrong) So let your FREAK FLAG FLY baby!

• Barcelona Erotic Film Festival, Spain – October

Not to be outdone by the French or the Germans, this less-exclusive carnival de’ carnality held in Barcelona features 750 events with 180 artists performing open strip teases & live sex acts (yes, I typed that correctly) on 15 different stages offering everything from Kama Sutra Classes to ongoing and open to the public fetish parties.

• Saints & Sinners Ball: Melbourne, Australia – October

C’mon down unduh and attend this annual event touted as “THE party for Sinners with a Naughty Side”. It’s an hedonistic  gathering  where like-minded couples & single ladies party, dance and play in a ‘no holds barred’ extravaganza of adult fun mixed with erotic costumes in a sexually electric & charged atmosphere.

• Kinky Copenhagen: Copenhagen, Denmark – October (again)

Cryin’ and Floggers & Bears, oh My! For every (legal) kink you can dream of, there will be a stall in the Danish capital for it. Think Comic Convention but ten times cooler with dildos, whips, leather, and latex. This festival focuses on fringe sexual subculture and discusses openly what most would only dare explore in a dark, locked basement. But for those of you enjoying the vanilla side f things there will be plenty of strippers and pornophanalia. (Yes, I made that word up bit it fits!)

• Erotica: London, England – November

A mainstream ‘lifestyle show’ aimed primarily at women and couples, visitors are encouraged to celebrate or re-kindle their relationships with goods and services aimed to enhance their love lives. With daily stage shows, crowd-wandering entertainers and workshops with demonstrations covering a variety of topics from glamor photography & body casting to burlesque classes you won’t be worrying about tea time. Get your tickets for this event!

Go forth, fornicate and be Merry! ( Oh yeah, and make sure you come back and tell us ALL about it!!!! )

More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Is Monogamy on Life Support?
  
• Hit the Floor All You Poly People

• News from the Kinsey Institute

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(This sinfully erotic tale is sponsored by Beautiful Agony)

Inhaling deeply, his lungs filling with her aroma,  a camphor to his wounded soul. As he exhaled he felt the balm of her scent seeping into himself, soothing the angst and confusion felt from both a lifetime of want as well as the last hour of agony spent with her here. Hesitantly, eagerly his eyes opened to yet another assault on his already embattled senses, he took in all that he saw. The cream of her soft skin upon her thighs struck him first with their seemingly silken perfection. The V of her legs began pulling his attention irresistibly towards their center. Her swollen lips were an undeniable feast for his ravenous eyes.

Pouting beautifully in their robust arousal they glistened like pearls of light in the faint glow of the candles behind him. His body yearning painfully to answer her moist center as it gripped involuntarily in need for his attentions. A warming sensation spread outward and overtook his senses as his heart pounded within his chest, the beat of it seeming to match her own as if in unison.

There was a tight pull within him when he looked up beyond her down-covered fleshy mound to her stomach as it rose and fell with a steady and quickened rhythm. He felt mesmerized watching her breasts rise and fall with a cadence jutting defiantly from her chest.

Proudly adorning them were bright pink nipples at their peaks, hardened by a body infused with arousal and anticipation. Her excitement pushed him deep within his seemingly hidden appetites. His eyes roamed over her skin which was awash in sheen of glinting beads of perspiration. He licked his lips for what seemed like the thousandth time as her hips beginning a gradual but steady undulation in her fevered state.

“Oh…god oh.” She hadn’t realized that the voice breaking the silence of their union was her own. But as quickly as the realization had come it was quickly lost in folds of this erotic fabric.Her body seemed alive as never before. Waves upon waves rippling just beneath her skin with every swirling pass of his warm, wet tongue.

For each wrapping of his lips around her clit there seemed to be a matching flush of deepening desire. Her thighs parted with a wantonness of their own volition. A series or emotions slithered through her with uncontrolled continuity. A deliciously palpable blending of desire, exposure, surrender, increasing awareness and need.

But above all….the need. A ravenous, blinded, self-absorbed impulse. It was like nothing she’d ever, ever felt in her life. It was a living, breathing animal within her. She could feel it. It’s all she could feel. She existed in a state of arousal that left little to no room for any other emotion, thought or sensation. She floated in it and lost coherency of thought. Her sense of cognitive awareness melting away as if dissolving like the Eucharist upon the tongue.

He felt at one with her. He was aware of a particular and overwhelming sensation. A shared soul between them. Her heart beating as if it were his own. Her exhilarating offering a wet and heated feast against his lips emitted a pulsing akin to that within his head and between his legs.

He had been up early many mornings immersed in a thickened haze surrounding the church grounds. Fog so impenetrable it hung heavy upon his skin obliterating the world around him leaving him with a haunting impression as if God himself had washed away the world and left his parish untouched.

Had not Lott and his daughters gained knowledge of one another following the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah? Was not man and woman meant to lie together by design? Is this experience so scornful? With that last self-affirmation he submitted to desire long repressed and too deeply ignored.

Casting off what was left of his vestments he looked upon her one more time as she lay there writhing in rapturous delight. He could not hold back a moment more as he lay with her, his fingers delving deeply into her sodden center. She gasped and moaned deeply, shamelessly clamping down upon his fingers.

He felt emboldened. Eager to test her. Eager to push her. He added a third finger to the first two already inside and was rewarded with a cascading gush of liquid coating his palm. Looking up to her face contorted beautifully in orgasm, her mouth moving silently but expressing all she felt.

Relenting completely to his compelling urge he was upon her. Taking himself in his hand he guided the sensitive and rubbery tip to her molten center. One thrust and he was buried deep within her. She gripped him as if born to it. Her thighs wrapping around his waist, pulling him deeper inside.

As if possessed, she ground her sex down upon his turgid shaft. He was in pure ecstasy. Gripping her hips, his fingertips digging into her flesh he held onto her as she instinctively milked him. He saw the heavens flash across his mind’s eye. His sight was similarly effected as his build to orgasm could be denied no longer.

She was lost to her instincts as an animal in heat. Her nails gouging his flesh while he oblivious to the small, bloody furrows she created in his arms, his chest, his thighs.

“Heaven” was the only word that could escape his lips as a jetting torrent burst forth from both body and soul to fill her to the brim with his seed.

“Heaven…” he whispered again, collapsing onto her, her breasts pressing scrumptiously against his heaving chest.

The world closing in around him, darkness falling like a veil over his sight, into her neck he managed to whisper..

“Heaven help me..“

More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Is Monogamy on Life Support?
  
• Hit the Floor All You Poly People
  
• Mea Culpa (My Most Grievous Fault) – Religious Erotica
  

Fun Things Found Elsewhere:

• The Sounds of Sex – Coupling Erotica
• Lathering Up – Co-Ed Erotica
  The Pitch – BDM Erotica
  

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Ok, honestly girls, how often have you been at a bar and heard this?  — >> “Hey Baby, how about we go back to your place and…cuddle.”

“No, seriously. I just want to cuddle.”

This is what the men in your life may be thinking about more than what you expect. Or, at least that’s what The Kinsey Institute discovered in their latest findings.

They just published a report on sexual trends, based on interviews with couples in Germany, Brazil, Japan, Spain and the U.S. Men in the sample ranged in age from 39 to 70 with a median age of 55. Female partners ranged in age from 25 to 76 with a median age of 52. Ninety percent of the couples had children. (so for most of us this particular shoe fits)

Here’s a little of what they found:

• Men enjoy cuddling more than women. Those that do so often report having a happy relationship three times more than those who don’t while women are only 1.59 times as likely to report a happy relationship

• Women are more concerned about frequent sex than men. (They should meet the woman I’m dating.) In other words, a woman who has sex nine times in a month is 1.24 times as likely to be happy as a woman who has sex 4 times in a month. Surprisingly, men who have more sex than average are actually less happy with their relationships.

• Mutually shared cuddling and caressing led to increased sexual satisfaction in both genders. Not surprisingly men and women who have sex frequently also report higher sexual satisfaction.

(Click ME For the full Kinsey Institute Report!)

Going by traditional gender stereotypes it’s quite the role reversal from what it was 10 short years ago. (oh the poor, poor Brawny Man) I wonder how the impact of an over-sexed society, easy access to internet pornography and the gradual societal acceptance of alternate lifestyles and outlets for sexual gratification effect the results?

What do you think?

Do you feel that our current social make up is effecting the results directly? Is it something deeper? Is there a feminizing and/or emasculation of Male America going on?

Or do you think that there just may be another element that hasn’t been considered?

Speak up, speak out and share your thoughts!

More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Is Monogamy on Life Support?
  
• Hit the Floor All You Poly People
  
• Mea Culpa (My Most Grievous Fault) – Religious Erotica
  

Fun Reading Elsewhere: Literotica.com

• The Sounds of Sex – Coupling Erotica
• Lathering Up – Co-Ed Erotica
  The Pitch – BDM Erotica
  

Subscribe to the SEX Feed!

(This post is dyspnoealy sponsored by: 100 Sex Games for Couples! Are You Adventurous Enough to Try…?)

SO…..what IS “Breath Play”?

Erotic, dangerous, and misunderstood, breath play is one of the most controversial practices in the kink world.

** Disclaimer – I am not encouraging anyone to practice any form of asphyxiation as it may lead to irreparable brain damage or death. And if you’re dead then you can’t really enjoy our site now can you?  **

Buuuuuuut you’re still reading so let’s talk about it! =D

Here’s my advice on it, what to try and what to completely avoid.  It can easily go too far and have dire consequences. Use common sense at all times.

The idea is to get off, not offed. The idea is that when the brain is deprived of oxygen it causes a light headed, euphoric sensation. When coupled with a timed orgasm or measured masturbation it’s said to be much like an out-of-body experience.

Remember, first and foremost, that the idea is to enjoy yourself and make it out safely so more pleasure can be had later. Safety First! I don’t condone anyone doing it alone. Have a trusted partner/lover/friend assist you.

It would behoove you to put certain checks and balances into place before starting. An agreed-upon signal from the choke that it hurts or that they’ve had enough such as a double tap to your thigh.

Another suggestion is to have the recipient of the choking raise a hand or hold onto the shoulder of the choker so that they may know when the recipient has gone unconscious.

One way is hyperventilating yourself as your partner holds your chest in a bear hug from behind. After you take 20 – 40 quick and deep inhalations they would sharply tighten their hold on your chest in an effort to pass you out. All the while your hands are free to masturbate yourself as well as signal to your partner if you’re ok.

Another option is to wear a gas mask. (I know, we’re getting a little on the freaky side but bear with me)

Again, under the supervision of your trusted partner, you can have the air access port blocked by your partner’s hand allowing your own hands free to signal your safety and to masturbate yourself. You should both be very familiar with how the mask is taken off to allow for fast removal in the event the one wearing it vomits as a result of oxygen deprivation.

According to WrongDiagnosis.com these are 7 symptoms of asphyxia:

• Rapid pulse
• High blood pressure
• Cyanosis
• Convulsions
• Paralysis
• Coma
• Death

No amount of arousal is worth a life. None. So if your gut tells you to avoid this play altogether, then you should follow your gut. However if you do find an impulse to try it keep in my the warnings and make sure to agree on communication signals before you need them. Not after. There are many other less invasive approaches to breath play. **thoughts of mouths pressed together exchanging air as our bodies intertwine in a loving embrace is, I think, a delicious alternative).

So…..Play safely!

More Fun Stuff By S.S.:

• Orgasm on Command – Not Just for BDSMers (Video)
• How to Intensify His/Her Submission (Video)
• The BDSM of Roller Coasters (Video)

~ Fun Reading Not by S.S.:

• Tame Your Pussy – BDSM Erotica
• From Vanilla to Leather – BDSM Erotica
• Perfect Obedience – BDSM Erotica

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Excuse me but I was wondering….What is Polyamory? What is a Swinger?What’s a Kitten Pile? A Cuddle-In? What’s the difference between a four (or more)some and an orgy? Why are threesomes between two women and one man (FMF) “cooler” then two men sharing one woman(MFM) in between? My head’s spinning already. (Ok, and I’m a little turned on, sue me!)

Most of you readers between 35 and 45 haven’t really done too much of this. And I think there’s a lot of catching up to do. (Regarding the threesome question above, I believe the machismo factor may have a bit to do with the latter debate.)

But we’re getting off the subject. I notice that more and more people are choosing to define what feels good (and what’s good for them) rather than accepting  “The Norm” without question. I won’t hit you with tons of polls pregnant with percentage-laden statistics. (who trusts them anyway?)

Today I’m discussing where sex ends and Polyamory begins. What sets Poly apart from any other socially engaged sexual activity? Webster’s defines polyamory as : the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time. But I fail to see how precise that definition truly is. Ask anyone who’s been cheated on and they may not exactly refer to it as amorous or even agreed upon.

Dictionary.com defines it as: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships. A little closer I think but not quite there. So what is polyamory? I believe a more accurate description would be: the state or practice of being romantically involved with more than one other person in a consensual (potentially communal) relationship.

The idea being that either one or both persons in a relationship feel that they have the ability as well as the emotional capacity to love more than just the person they’re in love with now. I further believe it’s possible for one or the other partner to feel that, although they do not think they share the other’s capacity for the love of many partners, they do have the capacity to understand the other’s need to.

When I say “understand the other partner’s need to” love others, I refer to a deeper understanding of not just the human spirit and how it relates to your poly partner in general but also a deeper knowledge and understanding of your own feelings and limits in relation to your polyamorous situation.

If you grew up in America chances are you were raised Christian. You were given a guideline early on of what is and isn’t permissible activity. You learned quickly what’s expected and accepted. But laws, if given enough time, will always seek specific interpretation. As with the human spirit this can have its benefits as well as its pitfalls. When you specialize there’s often an element of limitation.

With some people limitation negates necessity to think outside of their environment and experiences. It’s a comfort. For others restriction is a soul withering event. I believe Polyamory has the potential to be safely restrictive as well as freely liberating.

What do you think about all of this?

• Is it really so dangerous to explore and discover?
• Can relationships that are Open or containing Multiple Members do more for the soul and well-being than one partner?
• Or is this a horrible experiment shunned by less advanced cultures than ours for a reason?

****   Next time we’ll go into detail regarding just how such a seemingly confusing paradox can happily exist.  ****

The “eHarmony of  Infidelity so to speak. In fact, one of the primary requirements to join is that you be in a “solid” marriage with the assumption that anyone you find on the site has as much to lose as you do. Although free to join you must purchase credits in order to do more than send an initial e-mail. It enables men and women to find others seeking that forbidden tryst or connection that they feel lacking in their own relationship.

The site even has deception capabilities built into the site itself with a panic button to click on which automatically displays a Google search page in the event you have sudden over the shoulder company. Many argue that it enables and makes possible the destruction of trust which marital fabric is built upon. “Monogamy, in my opinion, is a failed experiment,” says the site’s founder Noel Biderman.

And that’s where my “reporting” ends and my own thoughts and questions begin. Monogamy is a very old idea. Biblical in fact. But with science continually pushing away the veil of mystery and casting a critical light into the corners of belief and religion do you believe it’s possible for an antiquated, social pressure such as monogamy to continue to guide such a species-driving force as sexual desire and attraction into continued submission? I, like a good portion of of you, had a usual American upbringing with the usual American parenting and religious structure / system.

So I know you know that I know what I’m talking about. But if you’re part of the X or Y generation you fell into a  strange societal gap that those before you (the Babyboomers) and those after ( Gen Z, Generation M (for Me), or the Internet Generation) never had to deal with. It’s a social gag reflex and an extreme lean to the right that resulted  from the AIDS epidemic of the 80′s when abstinence was touted as the only sure fire way to stay safe in the government-led hysteria born from ignorance and it’s own suppressed research on the matter.

A “Puritan Pause” so to speak where aversion to sexuality and masturbation, self-expression and non-traditional sexual identification were not just frowned upon but flat out persecuted on many levels from accepted youth vocabulary (“Don’t be a fag, dude.”) to legislative games of “Keep Away” for equal rights in marriage and legislation.

But the pendulum has swung back towards liberal views of begrudging tolerance if not acceptance. Homosexuals can marry and teens can express being gay, lesbian, bi-curious or pan-sexual and it be accepted by friends and fellow students.  Shows like Sister-Wives & Big Love are aired on top television stations. Swinger clubs, once treated by the law as hotbeds of perversion and disease crop up in places you’d never imagine nor expect.

In the dating scene 20-somethings are retaining their own apartments but having sexual stay-overs instead of moving in with one another. It feels like Sexual Revolution!

So what do you think?

• Is Monogamy becoming a secular following of a religious belief system?
• Are more unconventional arrangements on the rise towards social embrace?
• Or is it all just a sexual experiment destined to fade away once the novelty wears off?

Share your thoughts and let us know! (Don’t be shy. We love self-expression. It’s HOT!)

“Mea maxima culpa“, he whispered beneath his breath. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t move.He feared his reaction. He tried in vain to redirect his tortured thoughts.

He thought of Mat 4:1-11….of Jesus’ temptation in the desert by Satan. But his will failed him as he recalled Jesus’ response to Satan saying, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone.”Perverting His words in doing so.

Subverting his own will as he stood there. The soft sound of her coat slipping from her silken form to the floor was as the sound of a chain falling from a gate. He knew he was lost. Perhaps not for all of his life, but for this night…..he was ruined.

She could feel her body’s response to this. Her nipples ached as if she’d pinched them. Her breasts felt somehow more full than before. Sensitive. Needing the feel of warm, capable hands caressing them and holding them firmly.

Aaron’s boyish attempts never really reached that need in her. And now she could feel a cool droplet of cream run from between her legs along her inner thigh. God the ache of her sex was almost more then she could stand. But she wanted this moment to last. When he’d said that bookish Anthony had gone home earlier she was committed.

She knew she would have him.

He was only in his early 40′s. He had asked for more organic options at the pot lucks and event dinners. It was common knowledge he’d accepted the donation of a small home fitness set when word of his healthy lifestyle was commented on during one of the pastoral meetings her Dad “made” her attend. (Dad was doing me a favor and he hadn’t ever known it.)

And now, her arms around him, she could feel the solid reassurance of him beneath his shirt. She wanted this. More than anything right now she wanted this.

He could feel his body respond. After so long the appetites of a man blur and sink into him, buried by other emotions and impulses. But this, here, her, now…a tempest raging within him, bursting through all manner of reinforcements against it. He sighed, resigning.

That night the life of the priest was irrevocably changed. Where he had once been this woman’s pastoral guide, now she was the one who lead with her sensory wisdom. She moaned, overtaken in her desires as he was. The sound caressed his cock through his ears, curling around his heart and unsettling his stomach on its way down.

His hands fell over her hand just as the other slipped past his embrace, leading a burning trail to his engorged excitement pressing, struggling against the confines of his slacks. Pulling down the zipper she reached within and felt him pulse. Taking him from those confines she held him, stroking and squeezing him.

Again he felt another tide-wall crumble within him beneath her agile fingers. She found him ready, eager as she stroked him. The feeling, for him, was divine.

A gift from God Himself. “We are His children, we are loved, we are understood, we are accepted.” He said to himself, unaware if it carried back to her. But she was listening. She knew now that there would be no uncomfortable yet kind rejection from him. She had his turgid heat in her palm. She was raking the length lightly with her fingertips.

He was always so composed. He always gave so much and asked for nothing. She felt deeply that he deserved this small pastoral reprieve. So quick to respond to her, he’ll let me do this, she thought.

She leaned up and kissed his upper back and shoulders eliciting another deep-bodied (souled?) shiver from him. So responsive! She thought.

Running her fingertip over his cock head tip she felt the viscous droplet she had hoped to find. Taking it to her lips, her tongue reaching out eagerly to taste him. Something no woman had done in over 25 years.

And to her he tasted sweet.

Sweeter than any of the others she’s sucked. She moaned as she savored, allowing her senses to absorb and enjoy him, oblivious to how her sounds effected him. His face expressive of his feelings. The need within him building to such an undeniable level of haze and loss of coherency.

He turned to her wordlessly, inhaling her as he picked her up, cradling her to him. He walked back down the isle towards the door leading to his private section of the parish. Carefully he guided her through to his chambers, kicking the door behind him, hearing, for the first time, a satisfaction in the click of the lock.

He let her down to her feet, holding her to him as she gained her balance. Unbuttoning his shirt he lowered himself, as if to kneel at the alter of her femininity. Leaning forward playing out a deep, forbidden fantasy he’s held cautiously to his heart.

His hands, his heated palms reaching for her thighs and guiding up to grip them firmly.

His body and skin on fire with desire for her. Every sense alive and ravenous for the delights before him. Is this how Eve felt taking the apple? Is this how their first carnal knowledge felt to them?

Smelling her well before getting close he buried his mouth and nose between her soft nest of hair. The swollen and slick lips, pouty and engorged, reaching out to encase the tip of his nose…

***

Oops - Did you miss Part 1?

***

It seemed to have been a day like any other really. Morning services followed by afternoon devotions.The semi-dull drum of repetition mildly numbing his senses as he completed last services.

Thankfully today was Thursday and so he knew there would not be another service for the remainder of the day. His shoulders physically relaxed at the thought as his mind wandered. It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps a small respite preceding a quiet evening might be in order. But his mental reprieve was fleeting as other, less enjoyable thoughts encroached upon visions of restful reading by the fire.

Thoughts descending upon his peace as if delivered upon the wings of taunting devils. An itemized list of items and duties sprang to mind washing over his calm like a foul wind.

Arrangements to be made, directions to be given to Anthony, Our Lady of Forgiveness’ very own clerical administrator. (Had he told him about the weekend’s service to the kitchen on the 8th?)

And when was the last time he opened the suggestion box?

Shaking his mind free of the weight pressing down upon his shoulders with each passing responsibility, the previous thoughts of a restful evening rushed in and swept him away.

“I have worked this day. This week has been arduous and this weekend appears to be busy as well,” he thought to himself, walking down the center isle towards the back of the church.

Winter duty was a bitter sweet suffering for the poor man but all of this was nothing in comparison to the near fatal agony he felt when that young woman from his parish would come to make her confession.

She would always attend mass or take confession in something that would accentuate her lithe form just this side of cautionary in style. Fingers of cloth holding and caressing her breasts and hips, stomach and thighs as she would kneel to tell the intimate matters of her life.

He would keep his responses to a minimum for fear he might betray the inner turmoil he now grappled with.

His eyes automatically scanning to either side of him, his mind holding to at least one piece of duty as he searched each pew in passing.

He had made a habit of this since the amorous impulses of two young people placed themselves (and him) into a rather awkward moment of accidental discovery one evening four winters past.

Smiling to himself at the remembrance of their shocked expressions as he continued down the isle. The images fresh as if they’d happened yesterday. The young man looking over his shoulder perched above her. She on her back, her shirt pushed above her developing breasts. Her skirt a mere belt around her waist. Her shaven wetness glistening in the faint parish light.

A tremor, delicious in it’s temptation and strength, surged up from within the priest’s core and spread out to each corner of his being, causing him to shiver.

“Are you cold Father?”

A trilling voice, sweet in it’s assumed innocence, cut through his reverie as if casting light on his secret thoughts.

A flush rushed to his face as he turned to face the voice, feeling as if his thoughts had betrayed him before a member of his parish. His lips parted in near shock as the very woman from his thoughts stood before him as if materialized from his thoughts to taunt him.

“Oh, I apologize. I was lost in thought and you surprised me just then.” He struggled to compose himself, rubbing his eyes a second.

Focusing on her again he began, “Erica is it?”

He could have sworn she had just blushed. But perhaps it was from the weather she came in from.

Looking closer he convinced himself of it for the purpose of continuing to assist her in whatever it was she came out into this night to do.

“Oh, I’m sorry Father. Did you have something you needed to do? I can wait,” she said, lowering herself into the closest pew corner.

“No, no you’re fine my Dear.” he said, taking her hand and encouraging her to stand and walk with him.

“Come with me, I was just doing my rounds before locking up and retiring for the evening. I think I’ve dallied too long and it appears as if brother Anthony has gone home for the evening. So the items on my own “To Do” list will regrettably have to wait until tomorrow” he said without the slightest bit of remorse in evidence.

She smiled, following him as he lead her towards the doors at the front of the church.

Locking the doors securely, his fingers passed above the green glow of the alarm pad keys. He was about to turn to face her when he felt her hands slip around his waist as if to give him a hug from behind. But this was different and he knew it immediately, frozen motionless in his realization.

Erica, now older, was a women of intuition. After a number of encounters she had no doubt the priest was in some kind of distress. She felt for the man who had shown her such compassion at so many times in her life. (He’d never even mentioned anything of that night he caught her with Aaron.)

On this cold night she wrapped herself in her finest furs and went to the church hoping she might find him and discover the cause of his affliction. This is what she had told herself when she was getting ready to brave the temperatures.

“Now or never, right?” she had said to her reflection in the bathroom mirror, marshaling the courage to take the steps she’d been anticipating for more months (years?) than she could recall.

Those breasts were his first shock. He’d seen them displayed in different outfits, coverings and wrappings many times before. He’d never have imagined they would have, could have felt this firm as they pressed warmly against his back.

Even through the added layer beneath his shirt he could feel them rising and falling with her breathing. (Was it quick? Was he imagining this?)

She sighed contentedly against him. The warmth of her breath as she exhaled coupled with the delicious agony of her nakedness against him turning his thoughts, his mind, his heart.

“Mea maxima culpa“, he whispered beneath his breath…

**************************************************************************************************

Seek out Part 2

Have you ever seen the show Manswers? Not sure I would recommend it per se, but I happened to catch a bit of it the other night and was slightly intrigued by the question “Who is the patron saint of Whores?”

Hm. Never gave that question much thought…BUT it turns out the saint looking out for the well-being of all maidens-of-the-night is dirty ‘ol Saint Nick! (Should’ve guessed that one – after all he’s famous for belting out their names when he’s Happy) =P

The story behind it goes something like this:

A long time ago in a land far far away there lived a poor man with three daughters. Because these girls had no dowries, they would probably grow up to be whores (as was the way of all poor women at the time…) Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick decided this was not to be, and under the cloak of night, tossed three bags of gold into the poor man’s house – one for each daughter – thereby saving the damsels in distress from a life of ill repute.

Awww.

At least that’s what happened according to the all-knowing, all-powerful Wikipedia.

So today all of whoredom prays to Santa every night to deliver them from their plight and keep them safe while on the job.

Interesting.

However I wonder…Do these lovely ladies end up on Santa’s “Naughty” or “Nice” list every year?!

Personally, I think they end up in his own private Little Black Book of Yummies who need his Help.

After all, Santa may be a Saint, but no one really gets something for nothing…And if those women really want to be saved I’m sure he’s got a favor or two lined up in return.  (He does like stuffed stockings after all!)

Happy HO-lidays Everyone!!!

****

In Other News – Things around here have been kinda quiet, and that’s because there’s a few major changes coming our way. Mr. Sex Site and Best Friend have now become a hot item – flirty, grabby, googly-eyes! Oh well, another one bites the dust…

However, all this pawing and clawing has led to some interesting turn of events – notably that SpeakSexy will soon become…well…something else. Something Bigger, Wilder and a lot more involved! Feel free to start taking your clothes off now…because very soon we’re going to give you a place to let it all hang out – and we mean ALL. So get your cameras ready! (I can’t wait!) 

Wow – did I just date myself with that song? Anyhoo…

News Flash!

• 11% of Americans don’t know you CAN get pregnant while having sex standing up
• 26% never discuss contraception with their partners
• 31% never discuss sexual health such as STIs with their partners

These figures were recently released based on a poll of 2,000 Americans between the ages of 16 and 50 according to this article.

No mention of who conducted the poll nor their methods was revealed, making the poll itself very very very suspect in my mind. (For all I know the author of the article pulled the numbers right out of his you-know-what.) But the validity of the survey isn’t really the interesting part…It’s the idea behind the questions that I’d like to focus on here.

No Sexy Talk with Your Sex Machine?

You’d think that if there was one person in this entire world who you could talk with about sex in an open and nonjudgmental way it would be your own lover. After all, you’re HAVING sex WITH them. At the very least, you’d probably want to talk about life-altering consequences such as…oh…Children and Incurable Diseases!

Breaking it down, I suppose you could avoid the STI conversation after you’ve been sleeping with just each other for a while, assuming no one is cheating, swinging, etc.

But what about in the beginning? Are you really going to have sex with someone without asking if they’ve been tested recently? (And if not, what makes them believe they are disease-free?)  It seems like an awfully big risk for 20 minutes of hot, heavy sticky fun.

But let’s assume you’re willing to take that chance JUST to avoid an emotionally embarrassing conversation…

Not even Contraception talk?! A basic – “Do you use condoms?” “Are you on the pill?” Really? What happens when you’ve both taken your clothes off and are ready to “connect”? Does he just assume she’s on birth control while she just prays she doesn’t get pregnant this time? Eeek!

How can either of you have ANY fun if all you’re doing is worrying about these things in the moment rather than taking care of the issues beforehand?

Even if you don’t care about your own personal safety or possible accidental procreation – at least care about the quality of your sex!

Talking about these “big, uncomfortable” issues lets you relax once the bump-and-grinding begins.  And isn’t that the point of all this in the first place?

So, although I hope those poll results are a little screwy on the actual numbers, I know there are people out there who fall into these no-talky categories and I feel the need to say…

For the Sake of Good, Naughty, Wild and Carefree Sex – Talk to your partner about the “icky” stuff first. Your mind-blowing orgasms will thank you in the end. 

**Speaking of Orgasms** – I think my friend hooked up with that web developer guy the other night. Bad Girl that she is. I know they left together after our dinner, but I haven’t had a chance to catch up with her since. Hope she had all these “talks” we’ve been discussing! Maybe she’s trying to get in on that new Sex Site he’s making. hah.**

Now here’s something you won’t hear about on this side of the Atlantic…A government sponsored program aimed at teaching teens “self-pleasure” techniques!

I think Spain should get the award for Progressive Health Care Nation indeed.

Of course, the religious parties are going bonkers over this – saying such a “touchy” *ahem* topic should be left for parents to discuss with their budding sexuality.

The target demographic is between 14-17 years of age, using pamphlets, etc. and also deals with issues of contraception and self-respect. Although the article doesn’t specify the “why” for this new outreach program, I’m assuming it’s to counter non-solo-teen-sex and lower teen pregnancy/STI rates.

Sounds good to me…At least from a logical adult perspective.

However, thinking back, I’m not sure I would’ve appreciated a cute-little government-made pamphlet trying to convince me that masturbation was better than “the real thing”. (Who are they kidding?!)

I can see these teens getting a good laugh out of it (maybe an actual pointer or two – “OK Ladies, now right HERE is where you’ll find your clit! You know,  just in case you’ve never noticed that super-sensitive spot on your body in the past 15 or so years!”).

Even worse, I can see teens taking pamphlets concerning the Other Gender (assuming they’re heterosexual) to get free sex tips on how to better pleasure their partners. It makes sense. If I wanted to know how to better pleasure my “boyfriend” and this pamphlet is made to teach HIM how to do it to HIMSELF, then wouldn’t it make sense for me to read THAT one instead? Yup. Yup.

So while I like the message and the forward thinking of this campaign, there might be some real-world design flaws that actually teach teens how to have better sex with Each Other rather than themselves – obviously undermining the actual campaign altogether.

Can’t “Win for Losing” I guess…*sighs*

***Other News Update*** I’m not sure what’s going on with this website-builder-guy I mentioned. I brought in one of my friends to see his new site and I think he was hitting on her…It was one of those situations where it could have been him just being “nice” – but afterward she asked if I’d noticed and we couldn’t decide either way – lol. Maybe I’ll bring her around more often just to see what happens between them Haha. So Bad.***

Umm…that’s going a little far I think.

According to an article published today in US Magazine Online, some sexperts think Hollywood Upity-Ups continue to make sex tapes in the privacy of their own homes (and relationships) because they are self-destructive. Sexually exploitative folks are cast in the light of “not being able to control themselves” and “narcissistic” because every now and then they like to have a camera rolling in the corner.

Harsh! Ouch!

I think most people enjoy the “naughtiness” of filming their sexual triumphs – particularly on those wonderful “I’m feeling super sexy” days we all have – regardless of whether you are a celebrity or just Jane Next Door. Unfortunately for celebrities their tapes get leaked to the world whereas every one else only has to worry about it leaking to Best-Friend-Bob or Co-Worker Sue.

Yes, difference of scope I guess…But in the big picture, why does anyone even care? Why can a silly sex tape end a career? Make people lose friends? It’s really not a huge secret that most people have sex with their partners! So, this time it happened to be filmed. Yey!

Also, US-Mag Sexpert ignores the fact that most Other Sexperts would see sex tapes as a good, healthy sign of a loving, playful relationship. One in which both partners are confident and comfortable with each other. It’s not a negative sign! It doesn’t mean private-wannabe-porn-stars lack self-control and go around doing socially unacceptable things all the time!

It just means they want to spice things up a little and would rather watch a replay of their own sexual adventures than a fake “oh-ah” commercial session on DVD.

After all, aren’t you in the mood for a down-and-dirty documentary sometimes?

Just consider them the “adult” portion of your “family” films. You’ll be happy you took them in 30 years when you look back and reminisce about the “good ‘ol days”!

**PS – I was invited to take a look at that new sex site I mentioned before and it looks awesome! Still in it’s infancy, but the overall theme is great. I get to test drive it…will let you know more as it comes.**

Let’s Play a Game! Ready?

Which One Doesn’t “Belong”?

1. “Being Bad”
2. “Blending In”
3. “Living on the Edge”
4. “Doing Something Naughty”

(insert Jeopardy music here)

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I bet you chose Number 2 didn’t you Smarty Pants? =P

Well, as usual you’re right. “Blending in” just doesn’t have the same emotional draw as the others, does it? And I’m thinking therein lies a problem with those who have a certain proclivity for leather and things that go thump in the night.

You see, Kink is going mainstream. Or what I like to call “Kink-Light”.

It’s in Rhianna videos and gothic-chic styles. It’s on poster boards and commercials. Slowly but surely that pair of handcuffs tucked surreptitiously under your mattress is becoming a ho-hum item – much like the traditional dildo…

(How often do you hear shocked gasps when a sex toy in mentioned nowadays? Exactly. Those once heart-fluttering items are being sold as health aides. Sure, they do promote sexual as well as cardiovascular health…but where’s the fun in that?! My dildo is suddenly on par with my morning vitamins?! Woo-F’n-Hoo!)

So as “fetish” becomes more accepted, are kinksters going to have to delve into more extreme forms of play to get the same “rush” of doing something “bad”? I wonder how much of the thrill is actually doing a certain activity – spanking, etc. – verses the fact that it’s not “supposed” to be done.

On one hand, it’s great alternative forms of sexual expression are being accepted by the larger culture, but on the other hand – the acceptance may ruin the thrill of it altogether. Quite the conundrum.

Or maybe – just maybe – two branches of Kinksters will emerge…those that actually enjoy the sensations/connectivity of the activity themselves verses those who do it because they like the rebellious feeling it gives them. OR the second branch – liking rebellion – will itself become a Kink. OR the first branch will tout themselves as “true” Kinksters because they are doing it because they actually like it.

Hmm. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.

If you’re into Kinky-play at all…what are your thoughts on the “darker” side going soft-squishy-public?

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On a Side Note: I’ve gotten wind that sometime in the next few months a super huge sexuality site is going to open. I briefly met the owner of the site a few days ago – cool guy – and he’s planning a lot of fun events for it. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted!

That whole “No Sex for Two Weeks” post made me wonder…If people are so tired at the end of the day that they’d rather sleep than have sex…

How many of you would consider compromising with your hornier-than-thou partner for sex while you sleep?

To be fair, the sleeping partner in heterosexual relationships would, in most cases, be the woman. So let’s rephrase the question a bit:

Women: Would you allow your lover to “take advantage” of your luscious and tempting yet passed-out-from-exhaustion form? (Sure you might wake up at a few choice moments…But you get the point – No vigorous activity on your end -Just passive enjoyment or full-out sleep.)

Men: Would you feel right having sex with a motionless, warm body? Could you get into that whole “I’m using her for my own pleasure” mindset, or does there HAVE to be more involvement on her end (emotionally, physically, etc.)?

I can see both parties really getting into this sort of thing IF they have rather active imaginations…For example, he might like the idea of “forcing” her “unwilling” body to do things – much like taking advantage of her while she’s drunk, etc. She might feel extra loved by his attentions without feeling the pressure of needing to “respond” as she might while fully awake and engaged.

Turning to the darker side of things, if she has any hidden rape fantasies tucked away, this could be a perfect opportunity to mentally explore the murkier corners of her desires in a very safe and controlled environment.

Really, there are lots of perspectives that can be aptly applied to the sleep-sex situation to make it a fun and bonding experience. Of course, I wouldn’t suggest springing this on your partner in the middle of the night haphazardly! That certainly wouldn’t go over well…but try talking about the possibility beforehand, and next time the opportunity arises…take advantage of it – and her – and see what happens. Maybe you love it, maybe you think it’s boring, maybe you’re too tired to even remember it!

Regardless of the outcome, at least you tried to make time for each other – and that in itself is good enough for me.

Most Responses from Women: “Why? What did I do to make you angry?”

A quick question for those of you in long-term committed relationships. Is two weeks without sex “normal” for you? No, I’m seriously asking this. Are you with someone who thinks  bi-monthly sex is perfectly fine?

I’ve been doing a little reading about the Wall Street Journal article that alleged some crazy percentage of women would rather go without sex for two weeks than give up the internet for as long. Now I realize that article came out about a year ago…but it still got me thinking. One of the responses it received was by Andrea Grimes over at “Heartless Doll“. Andrea was upset because she did not believe it was a fair poll to begin with – One needs the internet to continue living a productive life in today’s world whereas sex can come and go without much upheaval. (After all, bills will still be paid, etc.)

However what struck me was one comment left by a reader named Brendon who said, “I’m really surprised so many men in that age group would rather have sex and no net for two weeks than vice versa. You’d think after being in a committed relationship or married for that long, they’d be used to two week hiatuses.”

*coughs, sputters, cleans the computer screen from the droplets of sprayed coffee*

Ummm, Brendon…really?!

Study after study has shown that couple’s in long-term relationships who have sex 3-4 times a week stay together longer, live longer lives and report higher levels of overall contentment and happiness. Isn’t that reason enough to save up a teeny-tiny bit of energy at the end of the day for a little snog with your hunny-bunny?

I think so.

Why are these features interesting? Let’s consider the evidence…

1) Apparently the going theory used to be that our ancestors started to walk on two legs for hunting purposes since we lived on PLAINS and could see over the grasslands. Turns out, we didn’t live on plains, but lived in FORESTS instead when we made our great move to tallness…So that theory got tossed.

2) All of our primate relatives have large K-9s which they use to intimidate each other during mating-fight-matches. The bigger the teeth, the more damage one male can do to another. So, those teeth are directly linked to their mating ability. (Ha – size does matter after all!) Obviously this is not the case with humans, since we have oddly small k-9s and our men don’t (typically)  go around biting each other to prove their manliness (though I could get into watching that). 

Anyhoo, Dr. Smarty-Pants Scientists decided the two features (our ability to walk upright and our small teeth) MUST be linked in some odd way…Why the two things couldn’t have developed at the same time for two completely different reasons I’m not sure…But leave it to them to link everything to our burgeoning romantic emotions…

The New Theory:

Human ancestor men began walking upright in forests so that they could use both hands to carry food back to their  barefoot and pregnant mates who they loved dearly with all of their hearts. In return their mates would, um…mate…with them over and over and create lots of babies.

Aaaawwww.

Now scientists are considering that just around that time our strong pair-bonding feelings – love – made large male teeth unnecessary since men weren’t fighting over mates every moment of the day. Nope, now they just picked ONE woman, fell in love with her, mated for life and used their impressive balancing-on-two-legs ability to bring their mates food. Women, on the other hand, could blissfully mate with their men over and over and have as many children as possible.

So, there you have it.

Our greatest sex lesson from a 4.4 million year old skeleton is:

Bring women food and they will have sex with you.

(As if we didn’t all know THAT already…hehe…mmm…chocolate..)

‘Til Next Time!