Speaking for Positive Change

CONFIDENT SPEAKING WITH FEMMY - "Filling the Potholes"

2019-02-05T15:01:00.001+01:00

What's Changed with 'Change'?

2016-03-14T13:28:00.000+01:00

A popular French proverb attributed to the novelist, writer and critic; Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr says "plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose" translated to mean " the more things change, the more they remain the same" and that depicts the summation of our challenges as a nation.

On the 28th March 2016, it will be exactly one year since our country men and women from across the length and breadth of this nation overwhelmingly voted to what clearly seemed then a better alternative to the status quo. An alternative to the egregious insecurity, debilitating poverty, wanton corruption, crippled infrastructure, shameless prebandalism and a dearth of all sense of logic, reason and sanity in government and governance.

Nigerians were presented with clearly the most efficient and well oiled political campaign by an opposition in Nigeria's history. On social media and on the streets of all the major cities across our lands, declaratory advertisement postulated the oncoming change as the only possible solution for Nigeria's redemption. Add to this well oiled campaign machinery, inflammatory comments made by politicians vying for elective office and the haunting prediction that 2015 could be the year Nigerian would break up, actions and predictions that filled Churches, Mosques and prayer houses with worshipers supplicating for peace and foreign missions launching a no violence campaign as well as ensuring that candidates signed peace treaties.

Thankfully and in answered prayers for many, the election were adjudged relatively free, fair and credible by the International community. A sitting president was removed from office by the power of the majority in democratic elections. The doomsday predictions were averted and we as a people were ushered in the era of change.

The question many ask almost a year on is, What really has changed?

The reality is that the poor are still poor, the richer are still rich and inspite of the 'war on corruption', there are still corrupt politicians littering our political landscape; from the hallowed chambers of our state and national assembly's to the corridors of power in our nations' capital. Cities remained darkened by non-existent power supply and our cars litter the roads in traffic grid-lock as the citizens spend countless hours in filling stations waiting to buy petroleum products.

Our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers continued to be murdered, raped, dismembered and their homes and communities pillaged by marauding Fulani herdsmen, our cities in the north-east live displaced from their homes in fear despite swathes of territories reclaimed by our military; remain in constant fear of bombings and pillaging by the dreaded and monstrosity that is the Boko Haram sect. Our unity is being fractured by returnee citizens inflaming a region while seeking to resurrect the ghost of a civil war we would rather forget, while millions of Nigerians remain more than ever economically dis-empowered.

Our local currency the Naira plunging on a free fall into a limbo between what exists on the so named parallel market available to businessmen and entrepreneurs and the government regulated price accessible to the wealthy few in the corridors of power and least we forget; our Chibok girls have still not been found without trace or hope!

As Nigerians, we tend to find comedic relief in even the most dire and obnoxious situations and this ability to see positives has clearly kept us away from the boundaries of desperation and insanity but does that make it tenable? Perhaps we may commend the many foreign trips and bilateral relations signed. From agreements on remitting corrupt proceeds and emboldening security to climate change and nuclear summits as well as the visits by foreign heads of governments to Nigeria.

President Buhari has clearly decided to take a lead on rebuilding Nigeria's foreign image and while this may be commendable, the effects of degrading ordinary Nigerians at forums outside the country negate the possible benefits making the expected successes faint, distant images in the mind of many Nigerians. With a focus on constant media engagement, without the balance of articulated information on the direction of the Nigerian economy, the common reality remains different from the statements of progress, of development or the change millions voted.

While no one can argue with the realities of the fall in oil revenue, no one can contest the repeated warnings from economic pundits on the need to adapt to the falling prices by diversifying the economy.

It would seem then that while the current government; like an army willing to take a fortified city, prepared for the siege but not for what it would find or how it would govern with the promises it made to the electorate.

Even as the patience of the electorate grow thinner waiting for the change promised, it is time to move away from blaming past government administrations whether in the past 16 or 56 years; and face squarely the challenges on ground with mutual respect for Nigerians in reference and expressions, respect for the rule of law and provisions of decent jobs, constant electricity, qualitative education, entrepreneurial developments and economic growth.

As no nation on earth will come to our aid without their interests being duly served and its wealth and dominance entrenched; Nigeria, Nigerians and our government must work with openness, belief and forthrightness to achieve the promised change for unless we do these, we would have wasted another mercurial chance to fulfill our potential as a great nation.

Blogging Again...Finally

2016-03-14T13:09:00.000+01:00

Unleash creativity!

So after more that two years away from my blog, I have decided to start writing again. Truth be told, I have missed the satisfying feeling of sharing my thoughts on the media space and for the everyone to read. It is indeed a huge sacrifice of personal creativity to give up expressing oneself especially if your opinions can be misconstrued as the opinion of your principal.

My previous employment though interesting in some ways, held back was the chance to truly express my thoughts on issues. If could not say it as I felt it, why bother to say it at all?

In this regard, I salute the writers, creative minds and journalists brimming with creativity but shackled to duty, enterprise and position who knowing well that for the time being, they can no longer express their personal opinion as the wished.

Now, I want to write again. Write about everything and anything. Frank discourse about our national life flowing with the ink of patriotism. I want to write of the good our nation desires and deserves as well as the men and women who should take us there. I want to write of Love, politics, self development, women's rights and everything in between. Maybe, just maybe what I write will inform, educate, empower or even offend; whatever it does it will solely be my duty for the good our nation, human kind and the world from the prism of possibilities and hope.

Shall we begin?

Remembering Komla!

2014-01-21T16:37:00.002+01:00

Tall, Suave and confident. These were my first thoughts whenever I saw the Late Komla Dumor read the news on the BBC. For me, in many ways, he gave hope to Africans that achieving giant strides in the media especially in foreign news stations was actually possible.

I once met a woman who believe that only the BBC spoke the English language properly. While that may be a subject of a debate some other time, Komla represented for me a brand of young Africans not just for his native country Ghana but for all of Africa a man climbing to the top of their journalistic career internationally.

I have felt a greater sense of kinship to him especially when I found out he once studied in University of Jos in the northern part of Nigeria and his sudden demise, while it reminds us of the brevity of the human existence, his impact to inspire the millions in Africa who follow him tells us as always that no matter how short, we must strive to leave our mark positively in our world.

With tributes from Presidents and world renown industrialist from the Mandela family to President Kuffor and ever Africa's wealthiest man Aliko Dangote, this loving husband and father of three adorable children and his passing will surely be missed.

So my question is where are the next set of African's to break the glass ceiling and to excel internationally?

May his gentle soul rest in peace.Amen

Return from the Haitus

2014-01-21T15:35:00.000+01:00

Hello Everyone...

It has been a really loooooonnnnggggg time since I last posted on my blog "Speaking for Positive Change"

I had to take time off a lot of social media to work in other areas. I felt due to the roles I had filled, it was expedient to observe from the side lines and effect change best as possible....

Now... We're back to blogging and it will be richer, better and more interesting... From Politics to International relations, from Life Coaching to Public Speaking and from Advocacy and the issues of the day we will be talking all about it.

So dear friends, Please drop a line or two of your thoughts on issues that make us better human beings and citizens of the world....

Just my two cents.

Love,

Femmy

The World Bank Presidency, Okonjo Iweala and the Nigerian Dream

2012-04-11T11:56:00.000+01:00

As the World Bank prepares to choose its next president in a few days, the international media is inundated with updates of the interview process and the candidates. Somewhere in between the violence in Syria and the increasing woes of the economies in Europe, The world’s attention is without doubt drawn to debate as to who should lead the World Bank. The exceptionally qualified contenders Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Nigeria’s Finance Minister nominated by South- Africa (An interesting observation), Renowned economist Antonio Ocampo and the Dartmouth President Jim Yong Kim, a medical Doctor born in South Korea show that the world truly has changed and begins to question the informal agreements made between Europe and America.

Under an informal agreement, the US heads the World Bank while a European heads the IMF. While that has worked in the post World war II era, the realities of our changing world point to the fact that competence and not nationality should be the sole factor for choosing who leads the World bank.

History has proven that a change in leadership, Staff and direction of the World Bank has the ability to impact greatly on the world. Can we quickly forget the change in policy direction of the bank between 1980 – 1989 when A. W. Clausen was president, the severe introduction of Structural Adjustment Policies lead to great suffering in the developing countries and as UNICEF put it, was responsible for "reduced health, nutritional and educational levels for tens of millions of children in Asia, Latin America, and Africa". I personally believe that Nigeria has not recovered from the blind implementation of this Policy.

The credibility and expertise of the candidates is not in doubt. Reflecting on her experiences living in the village, training in Harvard and being a world class economist, Mrs. Okonjo-Iweala represents a formidable candidate that can truly lead the world bank, but the question is has she been successful with the handling of Nigeria’s economy. A plethora of government terms “NEEDS”, “7-Point Agenda”, “Vision 20-20” leave the citizens wondering when we can actually do away with media savvy acronyms and make policies that actually reflect the yearnings of millions of Nigerians, policies with that favor the masses. The reality is the Interests of western governments are all it seeks to protect in choosing the heads of the Breton-Woods institution and rightly so but my question always is, who protects Nigeria’s interest? What would we like to leave for our children and our grandchildren? When will these self seeking, greedy and myopic politicians see that you cannot provide jobs, enrich western countries and empower them with the stolen loot while millions of Nigerians are without food, clothing or work. With an external debt of $5.66 billion and a teeming population of 160 million, we can agree that the situation is indeed dire.

Would a Nigerian as the President of the World Bank make a difference to us? Maybe. Maybe not. The truth is, other than national pride, all we can do is hope that the policies of the bank become more global rather than western. The challenges we face in our country; Security, economic, developmental are enormous and ensuring we meet the goals of development is extremely important to our future. Development must not only be step by step but all things together. Dealing with corruption, solving the infrastructure challenges and the education and empowerment of Nigerians.

Some observers believe that the voting bloc may tow the line of the US in choosing the World Bank president. Perhaps there will be a deviation from the status quo. Whatever happens, there is not doubt that the face of our world and international policies has changed and that developing countries will ask, whose right it is to tell them when to develop, and how. The world is changing. It always is.

Still on Reciprocity.....

2012-03-07T11:48:00.000+01:00

The recent deportations of Nigerians by the South African government brings to the fore the multitude of inhuman treatment meted out to Nigerians in foreign countries. In the principle of reciprocity, I believe it is time the Federal Government review Nigeria's Foreign policy not only with South Africa but with all countries.
Kudos to Mrs Abike Dabiri-Erewa for making this case loud and clear. Her position has always been crystal clear. Nigerians should not be mistreated in other countries.

Abike Dabiri-Erewa

I do know for a fact that Africans in India staying for more than 180 days are mandated to take HIV test.This does not apply to other nationalities. Anyone who is HIV positive must leave India.

It is interesting to not that even Cote d' Ivoire our West African Neighbors also ask Nigerians to produce yellow fever card. I once heard stories of Nigerians quarantined and even deported in Mumbai, India even when they had the yellow card.

This among other policies show the uneven treatment to Nigerians and Africans by developed and developing countries alike. If we do not value ourselves, No country in the world will treat us with value.

If you would like to know how many foreigners come to Nigeria, Take a trip to our deprecating Airports (Story for another day). It would amaze you how many foreigners come here. And they are here as expatriates. Living in posh areas and forcing up the prices goods and services. They earn huge salaries, accommodation, feeding, transportation. The least we can get is to be treated fairly.

Our relationship with other countries must be on the basis of fairness, mutual respect and the economic growth of Nigeria. The simple truth is no one comes here because the love Nigeria. They are here for what they can get. Pure and Simple!

It is time to review on what basis we call ourselves friends. So we can decide who truly are our friends.

Nigerian Foreign Policy, Reciprocity and Lost Opportunities.

2012-03-05T12:19:00.003+01:00

"Nigeria has no foreign policy" asserted a friend of mine who is a graduate of International Relations from one of the private universities in Nigeria. Although I vehemently refuted these claims based on my knowledge
of past roles in International Relations and the many often conflicting government policies, However, I often do ask myself, "Do you truly have what can be regarded has a worthwhile foreign policy?" The answer I must admit does not come to me as easily as I would like.The foreign policies of developed countries are quite easy to understand.

For the discerning observer of American or British politics, you can tell what line the government in power would likely tow. Democrats or Republican; Labor, Liberal Democrats or Conservatives, their foreign policy or government thrust is often predictable by the party ideology
and manifesto but in Nigeria, the ideologies, manifestos and leanings of governments and political parties are as murky as their growth they claim to bring. No matter with American or British manifestos are, the
unchanging policies of economic advancement, extension and expanse of the sphere of influence and the defense of their citizens well is a rock solid, unchangeable and unchallengeable part of them.

All over the world, Nigeria and Nigerians have been given all sorts of names. Many of them uncomplimentary. Known for Scams of all forms, labeled as Corrupt, unstable and disjointed. Hardly is any news article in a western media positive and it seems that only conflict, hunger and strife is the stories of Nigeria and Africans in general. Much of the reportage is true, and many more twisted out of proportion. I am not in doubt that to the average Nigerian citizen, The government is insensitive, lackluster and corrupt but I believe with strong will and enforcement, the solutions are possible. Slow yes, but possible.

Nigerians are murdered without actions being taken in different parts of the world. Deported, Incarcerated, Mistreated in countries from Libya to South Africa, China to Pakistan, America to Australia. While I accept
that it is within the right of countries to deport illegal immigrants, My source of Ire is the harsh, callous and often unfair treatments of Nigeria and Nigerians and the greatest worry is the that the government
seem to do NOTHING!

Even If we choose not implement any foreign policy, let the policy of reciprocity be a cardinal part of our government foreign policy. Reciprocity will let other Nations know that we are a serious country and that we value the life and well being of the citizens of the country. Recently House of Representative member, Rep. Abike Dabiri-Eruwa chairman for house committee on the diaspora advised the federal Government to implement this important policy.

Deportations, Incarcerations and unlawful murders of Nigerians in foreign countries should not be treated with levity by our government for even if we are trying to improve how we treat ourselves (Are we?) we should not allow other countries to treat us with disrespect.

Our foreign policy should have the interest of Nigeria and Nigerians at heart.Its economic advancement, the improvement of our spheres of influence and the general well being of Nigerians. What General Ike Nwachukwu once described as 'Economic Diplomacy'
Recent events in the International community are clear indications that should Nigeria can and should position herself to be a major player in the international politics and world events, it must be willing to tap into the opportunities created by the events occurring in today’s world.

Consider Turkey in its drive to become a major player in International politics especially in the Middle East (Despite its difficulty in joining the EU), Brazil expanding its sphere of influence through economic empowerment, increase in industries and its rising profile in world debates and China and its constant foray into developing countries and even offering free Chinese language courses in Nigeria. Let us not be deceive, the main concern of these countries is their Economic advancement and respect for the international community.

The face of the African landscape in international politics is changing. Countries like Ethiopia, Kenya and South Africa are taking the leading role, spearheading Africa's and African growth and the recognition of their growing influence in Agricultural expansion and extension, use of resources and military assistance. We must chart a newer and more beneficial course course and not play Ostrich. Our resources, our population and the opportunities that exist make us strategically located to take our place of pride in the African continent
and in the world.

Are we ready?

‘Change Of Mindset Essential To Fast-Track Nigeria’s Development’

2011-11-19T14:05:00.000+01:00

‘Change Of Mindset Essential To Fast-Track Nigeria’s Development’

This is a post in the Saturday Guardian. Check it out

The Retinue of Sycophants

2011-10-28T22:56:00.000+01:00

Today, I Listened to a young, Intelligent and passionate Nigerian tell of her desire to leave Nigeria and live abroad. Why? I asked. She said “ the only people who seem to get ahead in today’s Nigeria are the crooks, the politicians, our rulers and their retinue of sycophants.” So I did what I do best, preach of the values of passionate steadfastness to the Nigeria of our future and what our country can be. For all I said, the words tasted like ash, its substance hollow, its values diminished. It felt like ruse. It felt like a BIG LIE. The French Artist Georges Braque aptly describes it,” Truth exists, only lies are invented”

So, as I bury myself in thought at the constant assaults on the senses and esteem of the common man; from the removal of Petroleum subsidy, to the lack of constant power supply; from security challenges to lack of citizenry safety; From domestic inertia to misperception in foreign policy, I ask the same question, who advises our leaders. Policies we all see are counterproductive and only serve vested interest are peddled in the media as bitter medicines that can pain and the heal when in fact they are lethal doses administered periodically to bring us to submission, servitude and suicide. I ask again, who advises our leaders? My answer? The retinue of Sycophants.

They are everywhere, crouching, bending, and bowing and some even kneeling. In the corridors of power, boasting of abilities to turn an honorable man into an object of ridicule and hatred in the eyes of the masses. Master painters of distorted realities; feeding the stories of effective government policies. When in fact these policies are failing and failing woefully. I remember a former minister of Power who promised 6,000 Mega watts of electricity before the end of a certain year. Two days to the end of that year, who bashfully told reporters that they could still attain the target when power supply was less than 40%. Or a senior customs officer who while consoling the family members of a young man brutally murdered by a Custom’s officer said “God gives and God takes”. Or perhaps, Special Assistants, Commissioners and even ministers who promise to repair roads, provide facilities or even conjure figures of progress when the reality seems millennia’s away. They are; the retinue of Sycophants.

I only hope those leaders who truly care for the people will see these sycophants and lead them where there truly belong; the waste bin of history. After all, no one who remembers the prevaricators, the embellishers of truth or the sycophants. Only those upon who the mantle of responsibility and leadership of our nation is placed upon would be said to have failed or succeeded. As Edmund Burke puts, “A disposition to preserve, an ability to improve, would be my standard of a statesman. Everything else would be vulgar in conception, perilous in the execution.” we may then see the end of; The retinue of Sycophants

Absent not Lost

2011-10-28T22:35:00.000+01:00

Its been so long. I truly have missed sharing my opinion on this blog. Thankfully, We are back. Its going to scathing, insightful refreshing and a bull's eye analysis and opinions of current events.

Join me

Conflicts in Relationships : Tips to make a difference

2011-09-02T23:36:00.001+01:00

L'amour : The french word for Love. Perharps you feel it and you're with someone you really care about. Someone who when you are together, your heart beats faster and you feel untold joy. That's really a good thing and it's wonderful to be in love but often, usually sooner than expected the differences of our personalities come into play and the love that seems so golden, so real and so true, becomes strained and hampered. Without the proper communication methods the relationship may not survive. So, the million dollar question is, how do you deal with conflicts in a relationship. Here are some simple practical steps to make a difference and to help in conflict resolution in today's relationship.

Listen to her

Did you ever know notice that God us two ears and one mouth? I guess it's because we are supposed to listen more than we speak. Actually, listening without interupting is a key ingredient in resolving differences in relationships. Usually, when there is a quarel, your partner is actually "saying" something. Only with effective listening can you tell what the challenge really is and then you are well on your way to solving the problem. Good listening also helps for you to be able to bridge the gap between the two of you, understand where the disconnect lies, etc. Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everybody knows, and it’s common for people to think they’re listening, while in their heads they’re actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person’s perspective. Wether she's talking about money, time or you listening to her and helping out. Effective Listening can make a difference in the relationship.

Don't trample on his Ego

Ok. Ladies you probably always heard this and believe me its true. All men have Egos. There I said it. Now you know that, Lets cut the chase. Never, ever trample on his Ego. It is potentially an unforgivable sin. But if per chance you have, then just tell him you are sorry and mean. it. Don't complain, don't explain just apologise. Ladies tend to use words as weapons in an argument and ussually, the win. In an argument, we tend to say all the things we don't mean. If you have done that, remember, just apologise.

Practice Assertive Communication

Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aspect of conflict resolution. As you probably know, saying the wrong thing can be like throwing fuel on a fire, and make a conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what’s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. Being assertive can make a difference in resolving conflicts. Assertion is not being rude or agressive but merely staing your points firmly and clearly. One effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using ‘I feel’ statements. Being firm and fair with each other helps to build confidence, trust and comfort together, with friends or in a crowd.

To be Continued......

Gadaffi, Libya and Nigeria

2011-08-23T21:52:00.001+01:00

After 42-years in power, the reign of Muammar Qaddafi comes to a close. After months of fighting, death and atrocities committed, the war for the soul of Libya seems to the coming to an end. The end in favour of the National Transition Council (NTC) with the backing of NATO led by US, Britain and France.

Tonight, Thousands of Libyans rejoice on the streets of Tripoli, Benghazi, Zawir and all over Libya for the end of the regime of a Dictator. The question for me is How did it get to this? What does this portend for Africa? No one can doubt that Gadaffi had it coming for him. Many world leaders view him with deep suspicion while others praise him as a mentor and benefactor. The role of the African Union in the Libyan conflict leaves more questions than answers. African leaders torn between memories of the past help including funding economies and fighting apartheid in South Africa. The AU has not come with a clear position on the issue. According to David Mutsanga, a member of the AU delegation to Libya, Dialogue would have averted the stalemate, the bloodshed and the loss of lives. I do wonder if he speaks from the point of view that benefit Africa or the memories of the many "Greek gifts" Gadaffi has given to many African countries in the past.

Libya has a 99-year lease to exploit the natural resources of Central African republic after coming to the aid of its President militarily in 2001. Gadaffi has managed to stir up conflict with his rather caustic opinions like suggesting the division of Nigeria on religious lines, mentioned in the accusation against Charles Taylor, the former Liberian leader on trail in the Hague, and many other "mischievous " declaration. Now that the rebels have almost won Tripoli, men who Originally were considered terrorist groups have metamorphosis-ed into rebels who now hold the soul of Libya in their hands. But What does this Portend for Nigeria and it's perceived leadership role on the African Continent?

Nigeria has recognised the NTC. In doing so, it has toed the line of western nations and the birth of a new Libya. The fear of Islamic jihadist hijacking Libya echoes loudly all over the world. The African countries on the UN security council have been accused of not coming to the aid of Libya and allowing the arming of rebels, the bombing of cities and ease the victory of the rebels. With the war won, The idealism replaced with the reality of rebuilding the destroyed infrastructure, The resources of Libya in the hands of western backed governments would be an interesting thing to watch. As August Bebel the German Politician put it " In the time of war, the loudest patriots are the greatest profiteers".

As the world waits for the response of the African Union, Nigeria, has a responsibility to take a forward and decisive action on issues that affect the continent. The greatest fear for pundits is, Whose turn is next? When will it be decided the a government is no longer legitimate, its opposition armed and a regime change encouraged? Nigeria's open participation on the AU and UN councils will leave the world in no doubt of our commitment to democracy in Africa and the benefit of its peoples.Nigeria should take a cue from France whose growing influence on the African continent as seen in the forced removal of Laurent Gbagbo and its extensive involvement in the Libyan civil war clearly shows that its foreign policy drive is one of prominence, position and prestige. The spheres of Influence on the African continent continues to weaken. Egypt after its uprising is rebuilding. Nigeria has it in its future interest to re-establish its self in the North of Africa and advance the course of Africans.

Confidence: What most people wont tell you.

2011-05-11T22:12:00.000+01:00

"I'd rather die than face a crowd". " I wish the earth would open up and swallow me". Any of these sentences sound familiar? I'm sure it does that's because I probably have said it to myself more times than I can count - and so have you.

Confidence - or the lack of it can make the difference in who is considered a winner or a loser; A go getter or a charlatan; A master or a slave. Confidence can single handedly turn around difficult relationships, obscure positions and even seemingly impossible situations and make our lives worth living. So you often wonder why that guys to always get all he wants or why everyone admires that charming girl. The answer is simple; Its confidence . Confidence laced with the right attitude can be the tonic you need to give your relationships, your career and possibly your life that zest to get up and conquer.

Twelve tips to build your confidence

Look into the Eyes : The eyes are the window to the soul. Meet the gaze steadily with courage but try not to stare, that could be scary
Stand and sit straight: Sitting or standing straight reflects confidence you seem to say with your stance " I am confident". Now you know why gentlemen and ladies walk straight - Straight and Tall.
Smile: Ever seen anyone frown at a smiling baby? I haven't. Well, that's what a smile generates. It seems to say "you can trust me". That's for those with a genuine smile none of those plastic or cosmetic smiles. Remember, smile not just with your lips and teeth, but also with your eyes. You, like that baby can light up the world with your smile.
Speak: Try to make a good conversation with anyone. Sounds silly? Definitely not. When you talk to people even strangers, you build your confidence around people.
First Impression: We don't always get a second chance to make a good first impression so remember to make the first impression a positive and refreshing one. Make it count.
Use of Words: Make use of the right choice of words. Words that foster friendship not enmity. Remember three things cannot be taken back. A spent arrow, A broken promise and a spoken word.
Listen: Be a good listener after all you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Need I say more?
Keep in touch: Remember your friends. Call them, Text them, visit them. Whatever you do, keep in touch.
Be Proactive: Whatever happens, create your world and empower your self, Change the situation.
Enjoy your social life: Have fun. Healthy Fun. Have a social life. This is improves your confidence.
Face your fear: What ever you fear believe that it has a solution. When you face the fear, you find the solution and the fear is history.
Be open minded: In our world, we will meet different people. People with opinions and idea different from all that we know and believe. An open mind enables us to live in harmony with others and develop the confidence we need to share our own belief calmly, with courage and with understanding.

Followings this tips can help you become a more confident person but that should be hinged on a value system that is based on love, compassion and integrity.

Receive the confidence. NOW!

Motivational May

2011-05-08T08:34:00.000+01:00

Finally, the blog series for the month of May begins. We call this "Motivational May". For me, With elections, uprisings in the Arab world, Analytical April provided us with a reflective look at what goes on around us. With Novel experiences forcing us to begin again to take a look, we realise ever so clear that the world around us has changed and continues to change. In the thousand of years since the evolution of man, we are experiencing a new consciousness, the rising of the knowledge of our power, our freedom and our rights. And so, we begin to face a set of challenges in our society. Individually, we continue to ask ourselves the question; How do we evolve?

The series in "Motivational May" consciously approaches the renewing of the mind giving practical approaches to everyday challenges with solutions for our time and in the difficulty of our days. And so with expectations and anticipation colliding without the catalyst of the renewing of the mind, without realizing that as we think so we are and without being willing to give our mirth to society, then our limitations will confuse, confine and confound us.

For as William Blake put it, "....To see our world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower to hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in one hour". This aptly captures the essence of our individuality and our desire to change for the better.

Femi Adelayo

PS: Everyday together, we shall explore varying topics that challenge our thoughts and propel us to greater things. Be the first to Share this wonderful experiences. Join the Mailing List Now!

Elections, Revolts and Uprising

2011-04-20T23:48:00.000+01:00

It is no longer news that Nigeria has a president elect. Dr Goodluck Jonathan the University lecturer was voted back into power in an election that the international community considers one of the freest in Nigeria's history. With millions of Nigerians voting back the man and the electoral body, The Independent National electoral commission conducting what was considered a relatively free and fair elections, The joys Nigerians felt was however short lived as a result of the violence experienced in some Northern states. Lives have been lost needlessly and old, painful and bitter memories of the senseless killings in the North brought back to the fore. The man for whom they claimed to be uphold the right kept silent and for two days the violence went seemingly unchecked.

Riots in Northern Nigeria

Now that calm has returned to the north, we ask what was the reason for this? Why did the authorities knowing that such could occur not take preemptive action? Why did our leaders keep silent in the face of attacks on Christians, Corpers and innocent people. There are more questions than answers but one thing is certain, we should not allow political leader get away with inciting comments. All the inciting during the campaigns lead to the violence we see.

Those who made these statements, supported violence secretly or openly should be held accountable for their actions.

Libya, The rebels and the UN

The 42 year reign of Gadaffi seem no closer to end than when the uprising which spilled over from Egypt engulfed the country. A lot of terms have been thrown around. Demonstrators, Opposition and rebels. Now, we only hear of rebels. Unorganized fighting, gaining and losing ground to the Pro-Gadaffi forces. Even with a no fly zone enforced, bombing of Gadaffi's Air power and heavy weapons we are no closer. Now Military advisers are on ground from some countries to assist the rebels. The Question is What next?
I am quite certain that the Arab world is watching.

Anti-Gaddaffi rebels

Waiting for the New President

2011-04-17T09:00:00.000+01:00

As we wait for the new Nigerian president, like the millions of Nigerians at home and all over the world there is a new sense of relief, positive anticipation and hope that things are about to change. Change we believe that can only be for the best. Having observed with keen interest like most of my compatriots, the sense of eagerness that fills me, the words to express it seems rarer to find. Perhaps elation might be suitable.

Now we are at the collation stage but still I wonder at the campaign of distaste that still goes around, seeming from an opposition that suspects foul play even when the sun shines too brightly or when the rain falls, It must be an attempt to rig. When does all this end? Maybe when the results are announced. The pitches I have read on online forum and blogs seem to point at a deep sense of resentment and a lack of desire for faith.

Voting in Process in Nigerian General Elections

I can say with all sincererity that we do not need this, we cannot have it, we must not allow it. Our country needs to build on our new found faith in our ability to move the world's largest black race to its place of prominence and of pride. Positioning the nation for agitation may certainly not be in our best interest. Our preparedness to build our nation again, not resting on our oars while we blame others for the things that we ourselves are guilty make the word hypocrisy grossly inadequate. For as Mohandas Gandhi once said " He who loses his individuality, loses all". We must be prepared to come together to build on the positive gains we see in this new era. Only we can. If we do not, we then give others the right to tell our story. The same story told of Africa. despondence, desolation and despair.

Presidential Elections in Nigeria

2011-04-14T15:30:00.000+01:00

Since the return to democratic rule in May 1999, Nigeria has been embroiled in the controversies and in the different challenges of our democratic experience. Now after 12 years of rule by the ruling party the PDP, Nigerians more than ever before seem concious of their needs and their desires. A failed power sector, Brain drain, Decay in the education sector and the mother of all challenges; Corruption has held back the nation for the likely growth it can make.

Finally, the presidential elections are here again. It i without doubt that all the major contestants are noble men. Men who without doubt profess their love for Nigeria and and absolute desire to see the country truly reach its potential. Mudslinging, accusations and counter accusations seem to be the issues of the day causing the country to be heavily polarized.

Whatever the outcome, as long as the elections are free, fair and credible Nigeria can be better. Nigerians must build institutions that stand the test of time so that the issues can be not about individuals only as presidential contestants, about a willingness to develop every facet of national life, strengthen our viable institutions and improve the life of Nigeria.

2010-09-17T13:01:00.000+01:00

Debating for positive Change: Olufemi Adelayo

Finally all the thoughts on my mind can actually have a point of release. Now I can share my thoughts on national issues including the financial, political, economic situation just to mention a few. How you ask me? THE DEBATERS. Yes its a reality TV show taking a look at the topical issues in Nigeria and in Africa with a view to inspiring positive change in Africa. THE DEBATERS is in its second season and it promises to be much fun. So join me on this wonderful journey as we strive to make Nigeria and Africa a better place to live in. From Cape to Coast, East to west, we can have peace in Africa if we believe. Be the Change.

Debating for Positive Change : Olufemi Adelayo

http://www.thedebaters-ng.com/
http://twitter.com/femmyadelayo

My first Blog

2008-07-11T20:15:00.000+01:00

I have always wondered what it was like to have a blog of my own. Now I do i have thought endlessly about what really should be the first entry to my blog. Since I really cannot seen to decide, am just going to layout a few things on my mind.

Am really an easy going person with quite a lot of varying opinions floating somewhere between liberal thoughts and conservatism, hopeless romantic to logical realist and i guess scathing sacarsm to compassionate reasoning. Does all these make me undecided? I guess not! Unpredictable; maybe, balanced? certainly.

Over the coming blogs i'll probably let you in on a great deal of my thoughts from American Elections to Millitants in the Niger Delta here in Nigeria. From classical history and international relations (the much i guess i understand) to analysis of minds and reasoning.

Ok! I guess thats it for tonight. Catchy thoughts. I wonder why any country trying constantly to tell the whole world that its right to nuclear energy is for peaceful purposes would test fire rockets at will. To show they can defend their own (Yeah right!) I guess states like these begin to to think that when you test weapons open with all the media effect, intending aggressors really sit to think about what they intend to do.