Specs 'n' Headphones

Tech Talk: The ghost of Myspace past

2013-04-29T22:30:00.000+01:00

This feature can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

Every so often, I remember something embarrassing I did as a teenager and feel such intense shame that I am slightly more welcoming to the idea of being struck by lightning. Or a nuclear warhead.

How lucky I am that nearly all of the message boards and social networking I did in high school has since been consigned to the annals of internet history. To that end, I feel just a touch of sympathy (though not much) for the teenagers of the last decade, who aren’t going to have their Facebook and Twitter exploits fade any time soon.

Indeed, Paris Brown, the 17-year-old adviser to the Kent police commissioner had her career grind to a screeching halt, because she forgot (and her detractors chose to not forgive) that teenagers will say some impressively stupid things when left to their own devices.

The racist and homophobic tweets that were plastered all over newspapers last week apparently were dredged from years ago, and Ms Brown had probably forgotten all about them.

That’s not to say that they aren’t awful (my goodness, I never realised casual racism could sound so inane) but it’s a useful parable for all of us. If someone doesn’t like you, it’s the easiest thing for them to put your name into Google and browse through the various terrible thoughts you’ve had.

For most it will be incredibly boring things, but to potential employers who need to whittle down applicants – or dissenters looking to do a little character assassination – they’ll take any excuse.

Even if you’re already comfortably set in a job, you’re not safe. Here’s a story from last year that struck a chord with me personally.

Lauren Wainwright is a games journalist who was called out in October last year over something she had posted on Twitter. She expressed a lot of excitement for the newest Tomb Raider game (which is actually released now). However, it was picked up that Ms Wainwright had worked for the publishers for Tomb Raider in the past – it said as much on her LinkedIn profile.

This lead to suspicion over whether the opinions she was expressing were actually genuine. Articles were written, fingers were pointed, and other journalists were threatened with Libel. Members of the public, looking for journalists (not to mention a woman) to vilify, took to threatening Wainwright personally. It was a huge mess.

I was lucky enough to meet her in person, and was told that her excitement for Tomb Raider was, perhaps obviously, entirely genuine and unrelated to her previous employers.

While I feel there could have been a little more attention paid to what people could infer from the tweets of professional figures, it would be wholly unfair to blame Ms Wainwright for what had happened to her.

The lesson to be learned here is that we could all do with taking a step back and looking at just what we’re posting in public spaces, and how it could affect us professionally.

The simplest solution is to isolate anything that could reflect badly on you to somewhere more private. Either by limiting viewer access, or better yet using a pseudonym. Many people run two Twitter accounts – one for professional discourse, and one for general purpose. The people it will matter to will still know it’s you, but Google won’t.

Speaking of which, it may do you well to search your own name. Especially if you have a distinctive one (like me, I guess). If you had a Myspace in the distant past, now would be a good time to shut it down.

On a closing note, if you have a free afternoon, I strongly recommend you check out dont take it personally, babe, it just aint your story – a visual novel written by Christine Love. The name is ridiculous, but it explores the themes of a future where accessing the messages and profiles of someone online is commonplace. Would your judgements of people be clouded by things you're not meant to know? See for yourself.

A Jazz Interlude: Interview with George Simmonds of The Squintet

2013-04-29T21:59:00.001+01:00

This article can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

It's difficult being 22. For most of us, it's the point where we struggle to balance adulthood with the aftermath of university. But for George Simmonds there's a jazz quintet to lead and a music agency to run. And astoundingly, both things are rapidly gaining momentum.

A Londoner through and through and presently based in Tottenham, George has taken his love of jazz music from a young age and formed his band, The Squintet, with childhood friends and other budding artists.

George himself leads on trombone and vocals, his old high school friend Jamie Hone on saxophone, Mike Cuthbert on keyboard, and Jack Polley on bass guitar.

Rob Hervais is the newest member of the band, on the drums, replacing Bryan Taylor who left.
With them, he's shared his jazz passion all over London (including Soho, Islington and the famous The Rivoli Ballroom in Lewisham) and also abroad in Istanbul and Norway.

Over time their sound has changed - starting out with a strong swing feeling, before moving to a more funk-focused, New Orleans-style sound in recent months. The change was sparked by the drummer Rob, and George says that the band has definitely become more comfortable since.

At the start of performances with The Squintet, George likes to open with 'Honeysuckle Rose' by Fats Wallop, a piece played to him by his grandfather as a child. The version he was familiar with was performed by Acker Bilk, and the memory has always stuck with him.

His musical influences include J.J. Johnson, Jimmy Knepper (both trombonists), and Charlie Parker. More recently he's been taking on the funk-based influences of James Brown and Fred Wesley.
During a period of taking an interest in composing, Duke Ellington and Charles Mingus' jazz orchestras were a major factor.

For the last two months, George has also plunged into the world of business with the Maxwell Barrett Music Agency. Christened after his middle names, he uses it to both set up his own gigs and those of his steadily increasing client list.

After playing music professionally for three years, he felt that to go into conventional employment and have less time for his music was not an option.

Running a business in your early 20s is a fairly daunting task, so he co-runs it with his father.
New gigs are being planned all the time, and George is definitely looking to perform more in the South West London area.

You can find out about future gigs at www.maxwellbarrett.com or on his Facebook page.

Film Review: Out in the Dark

2013-04-18T21:36:00.001+01:00

This review can also be found on Shadowlocked, here.

The BFI London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival is something I truly appreciate. It warms my heart to know that there are actually plenty of films out there that star more than just straight white men as protagonists; and it's a shame that they end up relegated to a single, yearly event.

There were a huge number of films showing this year, almost guaranteeing a wide range of experiences on offer - but I only got to watch one in particular. Out in the Dark, filmed in 2012 and directed by Michael Mayer.

The plot is something rather simple. Nimer (Nicholas Jacob) is a Palestinian student who, on a risky night out to an Israeli nightclub meets Roy (Michael Aloni), an Israeli lawyer. Their love blossoms rapidly, but severe social standards (and gun-happy police) get in the way. More on the plot later.

From a technical perspective, the film is incredibly solid. Film production norms differ from country to country, so one of the fun things about foreign film is seeing the different stylistic rules they go by.

The cinematography was nothing to hugely fawn over, but the wide shots of the skyline and city streets did wonders for a loser like me who is obsessively urban. The dialogue style definitely stood out - lengthy chats pierced with succinct one word sentences, in a blend of Hebrew and Arabic that's sadly lost on my monolingual self.

The decision to have the plot heavily focus on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a harrowing, but well-researched one. It assumes you know the basics of the issue, and although you can understand all of the story without prior knowledge, being aware of the background definitely helps add context.

What it also adds is a marginally fresher angle on what would otherwise be a tired love story. Straight romances in films are rather rote, but gay (male) ones are more so in a slightly different way.

Star crossed lovers, one humble and sexually introverted, the other metropolitan and liberated have their love halted by the grim face of systemic oppression (feel free to imagine those two words in a 72pt font and on fire). It's a valid story, but it's one told a little too often.

As such, the racial conflict adds some flavour to the proceedings; juxtaposing cute intimate moments and longing stares with border crossers getting shot in the head.

It's all a very well-produced reminder of the social injustices in the world, both sexual and racial - but we know this all already. That is, the people who would be inclined to see Out in the Dark in the first place. Dudebro McHomophobe would definitely benefit from watching something so well made (and with such impact, too), but you'd have a better chance of actually ending oppression than getting him into the cinema.

It's all very 'preaching to the choir', really. That's not the end of the world - we all like to have our political opinions re-enforced, but in the end I ended up not enjoying Out in the Dark as much as I could have done – I was holding out for something more experimental.

I continue to wait for the action blockbuster where Jake Gyllenhaal saves Ben Whishaw from an exploding building, and they make out to the sound of helicopter blades and gunfire. Now that would be progressive.

My Big Mouth: Save Our Subcultures

2013-04-18T21:29:00.000+01:00

This feature can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

Violent attacks against subcultures like punks and goths are now being considered as hate crimes by the Greater Manchester Police (GMP).

What was once only the territory of politically-established social minorities (so race, religion, disability, sexuality or transgender identity) is now broadened to alternative music scenes and subcultures – at least by the GMP.

The plan to record attacks in this manner was sparked by the murder of Sophie Lancaster back in 2007. The 20-year-old goth was attacked in a park in Lancashire along with her boyfriend, Robert Maltby, simply because of their style of dress. While the boyfriend managed to survive, Ms Lancaster was not as lucky.

Because this attack was motivated by judgements about the victims’ identities, a pretty strong parallel can be drawn between attacks of this nature and existing hate crimes.

You could replace these goths with queer people or people of colour, and I could most likely find an existing news report to match. Hell, in March last year there were reports of emos in Iraq being murdered by militia, partially because the subculture is heavily associated with homosexuality there.

The crux of attacks like these is ignorant fear of identities that differ from the ‘norm’. Why the scare quotes? Because in Western culture, to be anything other than a straight white man with a taste in Top 40s pop is an ‘other’, someone to be changed or removed. It’s an awful way to think of things, really. That demographic may not be the most prevalent in terms of numbers, but social dominance counts for so much more than manpower.

Society has progressed just enough to cut some minorities some slack. You’re allowed to be, for example, black in a public place in much of the world without pulling much ire (Though sometimes it doesn’t feel that way).

But often, our identity as minorities is displayed in ways that aren’t physiological. There’s nothing in terms of body type that separates straight men from gay ones, but there’s a laundry list of ‘coded behaviour’ that society decides is indicative of being gay, or religious, or yes – belonging to a subculture.

What raises the hackles of violent bigots is that people who differ from the ‘norm’ have the temerity to express themselves openly, and think that beating them will change that in some way. That seems very much like hate crime to me.

That subcultures are largely tied to musical tastes, rather than biology may cause some to feel that they aren’t appropriately equitable to the other minorities, but I have issues with that.

Most notably, there are some subcultures that are heavily involved in socio-political struggles. Punk as a movement revolves around being non-conformist, and as such features heavy streaks of anti-racist and anti-sexist ideologies.

The emo scene, while considered rather male dominated, embraces emotional openness (hence the name) and androgynous fashions, making it a social safe haven for many queer teenagers.

The workings and intricacies of subcultures is just as fascinating to me as learning about feminism, racial history and queer theory, and deserves to be respected in a similar manner. For a glimpse of just how vastly different subcultures can be, take a look at Urban Tribes. Hours will fly by.

The official consideration of subcultures as being part of the hate crime demographic is a while off – England’s courts cannot recognise its legitimacy, and the GMP are the only police force that are recording it.

But all is not lost. By bringing the idea up as a point to be seriously considered, the public are also forced to think of those who are part of alternative scenes as people, not targets.

What this news hopefully won’t do is get people arguing over which minority has it worse, and flinging mud at whatever groups might have it easier. These kinds of ‘Oppression Olympics’ aren’t helpful to discussion; those who try to start them require immediate defenestration.

Note: Simon Price’s entry on The Guardian’s Comment is Free gives a great break down on different subcultures, as well as detailing his own experiences of being targeted.

My Big Mouth: Queer up the media

2013-04-18T21:23:00.001+01:00

This feature can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

A thought experiment for you:

Think of three pieces of media (books, film, games, whatever) that meet the following criteria:

The main character is straight.
The piece is not of the Romance genre.
The sexuality of the main character and its social impacts are not the main plot point.

You could probably name at least 10 without thinking too hard. Now try to do the same, but with a queer main character. Go on, I'll wait.

If you've managed to think of any, congratulations! No, seriously, it's a pretty difficult challenge; feel free to tell me what you've thought of in the comments.

I suppose it's nothing that you think too much about unless you're actually affected by it, but the presence of characters in fiction that aren't straight and white isn't thrillingly prevalent.

However, queer media definitely exists out there - this month had BFI's 27th London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival. The problem is, all this content is kept away from the mainstream, and only given a chance to shine once a year.

That's great for all the pretentious artsy types who already know how wonderfully liberal and accepting they are, but the people who need to see queer media the most barely know it's around. The teenagers who are questioning their identity and sexuality; people who are jaded with the stereotypes they're spoon-fed; that one old homophobic guy down the pub. You know the one. I hate that guy.

What we do get in the mainstream media isn't making me super-thrilled to be open about my sexuality. I'm not too keen on the idea of having my skull cracked open with a tyre iron (Brokeback Mountain), nor do I want to pursue a career in being a Sassy Gay Best Friend (The Hellish Nightmare that is Glee). Though I'm sure I could make a killing if I did. Maybe with the aforesaid tyre iron.

For sure, I would have been a lot more confident in my identity growing up if there was a role model who was much like me. That's not to say my imagination was so poor I couldn't project myself into a James Bond power fantasy - the assortment of gay villains excepting - but a reminder that queer heroes (or black heroes or female heroes...) are allowed to exist would be nice.

To flip it on its head, only those who are the most literal and devoid of critical thought could argue that an increased number of openly queer protagonists would be alienating to straight audiences. Last time I checked, empathy and sexual expression were two different things, unless you consider How I Met Your Mother the pinnacle of character-driven storytelling.

Speaking of which, I'm finding it a lot harder to watch action films these days. Aside from gunfights and explosions being tired mindless pap; the levels of machismo are so over-emphasised and forced, it's like a high budget blockbuster Shrine to Straightness. Sucker Punch managed to be full to the brim of bubbling testosterone with barely any men on screen. The sight of Vin Diesel flexing has been scientifically proven to instantly impregnate women.

The secret to creating reasonable queer media isn't some kind of well-guarded secret. They're the same as the media we already consume, with the genders of the romances switched around. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable demand to have, say, a crime thriller where the long-suffering detective happens to be a lesbian.

Oh. That actually exists. Well okay then.

That's not to say that good queer media can't or shouldn't explore sexuality as a main theme, it just often feels like that's all that we're given. I want to identify with an escapist fantasy, not systemic oppression so gritty I could use it as sandpaper. Explorations of sex are enjoyable enough in private, but it's not something I could share with others, for obvious reasons.

Then again, maybe some soapboxing and issue awareness is a first step in what we need right now. It recently came to light that the 'Ex-Gay' advertisements produced by the Christian group Core Issues Trust was, although banned in short order, deemed 'not illegal' by the High Court. Regardless of legality technicalities, that the advert exists at all is indicative of a serious need to queer up the media.

Film Review: A Late Quartet

2013-04-18T21:15:00.002+01:00

This review can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

Despite my constant burning need to see pretentious non-mainstream film (if it's in a different language or about socio-politics, even better), my knowledge of the fine arts is actually not so great.

My initial interest in seeing A Late Quartet was, embarrassingly, because Christopher Walken takes a major role in it. He's had a myriad of roles and cameos in films since the 60s, many of which ended up being cult hits. He even starred in some terrible video games in the mid 90s.

A large part of his popularity is his notably stilted speech, and since it tends to work best in comedies, I was interested to see how he would fare in something that looked to be so serious.

As it turns out, A Late Quartet is wonderfully human and moving, and Walken does a great performance by... largely not being there. It's an odd situation.

Pete Mitchell (Walken) is the cellist in an internationally famous string quartet called The Fugue. He shares the spotlight with Daniel Lerner (Mark Ivanir) on Violin I, Robert Gelbart (Philip Seymour Hoffman) on Violin II and Juliette Gelbart (Catherine Keener) on Viola.

Recently Pete's playing has been affected by his shaking hands. After a doctors appointment, he finds out that it's Parkinsons, and bows out from The Fugue, asking the other members to find a replacement.

As it turns out, this upset sparks desires for change in the rest of the quartet, and emotional havoc ensues.

It's all very melodramatic, but the way the script is written makes that not matter. All the narrative points are closely and expertly woven in with the films themes, in a way that you won't need a degree in media studies to get (though a little knowledge about classical music will help).

The ideas are honestly clever, from the way that the amount of time Pete is on screen is related to how badly he's suffering from his condition (though he's arguably the protagonist, Parkinsons is very effective at taking away his agency, both as a disease and in the script), to how the emotional issues of the quartet match up nicely with the musical role they play.

The soundtrack was funnily enough, a mixed bag. There are some elegant and well timed cues of classical string pieces, including the one piece that the film is arguably 'about', that I won't spoil for you. However, it's matched with a general orchestral score that feels very generic. Although the two musical styles share instruments, the feel is very different. It made some scenes feel notably schmaltzy - though that may just be my jaded heart.

That said, the experience as a whole was touching. It manages to pull you along on an emotionally manipulative ride so well you'd think it was a Hollywood production, if it wasn't for the quietly middle class subject matter.

Watch It: If you know your way around a string section, If you want to see a cult actor happily make peace with his age on film, if you want a talking point for your film discussion club.

Skip It: If the phrase 'human drama' makes you dry heave, if you're not ready to make peace with your age, if you want something that doesn't feature the American Middle Class.

Want more? Go and check out some live classical quartets! I promise, it's a moving experience the first time. If you want to see Walken in something cheerier, he has a great supporting role in Catch Me If You Can.

Film Review: Stoker

2013-04-18T21:08:00.001+01:00

This review can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

I do love a bit of Gothic Horror. Not because I'm a fan of the macabre (not entirely, anyway), but because it has a wonderful precedent of being understated. And in the current Hollywood climate, bombast and explosions are king - so Stoker is a refreshing presence.

Director Park Chan-wook had a worldwide cult hit with Oldboy in 2003, but Stoker is his first film with English actors. India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska, Alice in Wonderland) is a troubled girl living in opulent American Suburbia. Her father sadly deceased, she's quietly withdrawn but comfortable - until her Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode, Watchmen) comes to stay, and gets a little too close to her mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman).

Things soon escalate, but carefully and quietly. The first act is very much a slow burner, but when the spark of intrigue shows itself, you begin to reach the state of mind that the film demands - a focus on the finer details. This is helped in no small part by the cinematography director Chung-hoon Chung, who sets up shot after shot filled with detail. There's a scene where a close-up of long hair pans and fades into swaying long grass. It's perfectly done, and pretentious as all get out.

The acting definitely reflects that - while no one is under acting, the script is filled with hushed fear, quiet lusting and silent anger. Nicole Kidman pulls off hateful, piercing stares that I never knew she was capable of.While there's a heavy focus of suspenseful horror; there's also a core of human drama, as India grows into herself. She could be best described as Wednesday Adams reaching adolescence; and it works wonderfully.

When the instances of violence occur (and they definitely do occur, though not as intensely as in Oldboy) it's a huge snapping of tension, and I appreciated the film's low-key nature for it. It takes skilled direction to have violence that will get a reaction from its audience (since we're generally desensitised to watching mild violence in films these days) without it going into fetishistic territory. Likewise, discussions and display of sexuality are toyed with here, often feeling unsettling but never gratuitous or disturbing.

It's what, in my opinion, separates it from the standard Hollywood fare. In a traditional suspense horror film, the violence and feelings of entrapment come on hard and heavy, and after a while the impact is lost. More so with the standard of action films. Some manage to go beyond the basic requirement of 'all spectacle, no substance' (I don't know anyone who didn't love Django Unchained, and would rather not meet them), but that kind of film making is both easy and lucrative, so there may not be a change on that front for some time.

Watch It: If you want to watch something different from the current releases, if you're a fan of cinematography, if you fondly remember The Addams Family or Daria.

Skip It: If you want more laid-back cinema, if you're wary of sexuality without romance, if you picked on 'the quiet kid' in high school.

Want more? Why not look at Shadow of a Doubt, a Hitchcock work which heavily inspires Stoker's plot. Definitely watch more of Park Chan-wook’s films if you haven’t already – if Oldboy is too extreme for you, I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Okay is a more comical affair.

Tech Talk: Remove U

2013-04-18T21:05:00.001+01:00

This feature can also be found on the South West Londoner, here.

Nick D'Aloisio is both a pretty cool guy and entirely frustrating.

On one hand, I entirely support independent developers. With app stores on mobile phones and game download services like Steam, Average Joes being able to make and share creative endeavours is a glimpse into a marginally less corporate future.

On another, he's a 17-year-old kid who's more financially successful than me. What a little punk.
The actual app itself, Summly, is honestly pretty useful. With Google's news feed aggregator dying a death, my main method of pumping raw information directly into my veins will be cut off in a few months, leaving me with a hole in my life that Summly would fill – if I had an iPhone.

That someone so young made it big isn't surprising. Newspapers were stunned to see a teenager making so much money, but we forget that we're all old, and already outstripped by the next generation. I say this as a 22-year-old.

Schools are teaching programming a lot more these days, and the software for making your own programs is more accessible than it’s ever been. That's especially true for games production – there have been some pretty good books written about it.

Hell, I'm sure I could make my own hyper-successful app – it's not like I lack ideas. I'm sure there's a hole in the market for misanthropic technology users like me.

****

Are you having problems with people in your life? Family? Co-Workers? Frenemies? Don't you just sometimes wish that you could make annoying people disappear?

Well, you need the latest product from BladesTech; Remove U. Available for only £9.99!
Remove U is the killer app for your smartphone, computer, GPS and Google Glass headset that offers a clean and efficient solution for clearing up your social problems.

Remove U works with all social software, from Facebook to World of Warcraft to the dregs of society who still use Bebo. When installed, it will linger unobtrusively in the background of your computer systems waiting for activation.

Got into an argument with someone? Say or type the magic words "Why don't you just vanish!" and Remove U kicks into gear.

Remove U doesn't just block your target; it's closely engineered to remove all sights and references to your now ex-acquaintance.

Photographs with the target tagged will be automatically photoshopped to remove them from the picture - and top of the range facial recognition software will insure you won't accidentally see them in photos elsewhere, either. There's a chance it might accidentally remove faces of unrelated people, but if they're as hideous as That Guy You Don't Like, it won't be a big deal.

Remove U doesn't just stop at aesthetic removal, the target of your ire will be professionally invisible to you too! Looking through LinkedIn and public address books, Remove U can find and block addresses, phone numbers and public domain documents that reference the target. Trying to access web pages that are blocked in this manner will redirect you to our website of cute kittens in sweaters. Adorable!

Those who need to drive past the target’s home on the way to work will have their GPS map subtly altered so the building is replaced with a relaxing rural scene of your choosing An open field, a serene lake or unspoilt woodland are all at your fingertips.

Google Glass users will also have access to the 'Passive-Aggressive Camouflage' feature! By projecting subtle patterns of light into your eye, it will blur the image of anyone the Glasses pick up as looking like the target. They're a real faceless nobody now!

Customers who want additional functionality can purchase downloadable content from our online store. For a nominal fee you can have access to the Deluxe Remove U Pack, that not only gives you 3 gift codes for your friends, it will also remove your internet presence from the people that you block!

Notes and Disclaimers:
Cancellations to the Remove U service can only be processed by calling our premium-rate customer service number in Siberia, and paying the cancellation fee. The ability to restore Removed targets is available at £30 per restoration. Passive-Aggressive Camouflage may cause blindness in 5% of users. We are not responsible for any lasting social, physical or mental injury Remove U may cause. You probably deserve it, anyway.

Tech Talk: This personality has 5,000 Likes

2013-04-18T20:59:00.003+01:00

This feature can also be found on the South West Londoner, here.

Social Networking is both the glory and the bane of the modern age. It connects us to our friends and family in a way that would be impossible 20 years ago, but there are very few that use it who don't feel at least a little... exposed.

There's a bit of a mental disconnect where we are all aware that what we put on the internet is publically accessible, but we’re still willing to share our interests in great detail.

You may think that what you post on Facebook doesn't reveal too much about yourself, but a recent study by the University of Cambridge discusses a system of working out a person's personality and background from as little as a single Facebook like.

To quickly explain how, they took a sample of 58,466 American volunteers, who gave their Facebook profiles, a list of their Likes, and took a standardised personality test. Matching the test results to the pages they liked, those correlations were used to work out the personalities of other Facebook users.

The range of categories discerned is pretty mind blowing, if I'm honest. Things like age and gender are obvious, but the ability to predict things like race, sexuality, political leanings and drug use is a lot more shocking. In fact, male homosexuality was predicted with 85% accuracy and determining race (either Caucasian or African American) was predicted with a whopping 95%.

There are also results for personality traits like intelligence, emotional stability and satisfaction with life, but the accuracy of these was a lot more variable. The levels of IQ determined from Likes only matched up with personality tests 39% of the time. However, to guess something as nebulous as intelligence correctly more than a third of the time is nothing to sniff at.

Of course, the more Likes a person has, the easier it is to determine their personality. For age and gender, you only need to have Liked 10 things for this system to guess right with at least 50% accuracy. The curve of prediction accuracy peters out eventually, so those of you out there with 700 Likes, you don't need to worry - the system could figure you out with 300.

The types of Liked items that indicated personality traits are a mixed bag. It wouldn't take much lateral thinking to decide if someone who Liked the "No H8 Campaign" page is gay or not, but "Curly Fries" don't seem to have an obvious relation to high IQ. I definitely agree with "Being Confused After Waking Up From Naps" being an indicator of Male Heterosexuality.

The study is understandably scary news to anyone who has concerns for internet privacy, but although we humans can't help but use social trends to express ourselves, we have far more than just one personality.
How you identify yourself changes all the time, depending on where you are and who you're talking to. Your personality online is most likely a good deal different from how you are in real life, and I’m sure the way you use Facebook is different to your Twitter social life.

It's sadly quite hard to break social stereotyping and mask your gender, race or sexuality online (even if you don't overtly post about it, correlations can still be made), but your emotional stability or your tastes in entertainment change all the time. There's no need to feel indignant just because Liking Lady Antebellum is linked to low IQ.
I hope the researchers of this study move on to other social networks in later research. A personality breakdown on Tumblr would be a sight to see.

Want to learn more?

You can take the test yourself at You Are What You Like.
Zadie Smith feels a bit left behind by the ‘Facebook Generation’ in a post on NY Books
The study has a supplement that lists the biggest indicators of personality types.

Tech Talk: Though the Google glass

2013-04-18T20:52:00.003+01:00

This feature can also be found on the South West Londoner, here.

The world of cyberpunk novels is close at hand. A few years ago, having a computer screen overlay your vision felt like a flight of fancy - but now is the time of Google Glass, headgear produced by the technology giant that can shoot video, give directions and do video calls.

It's being advertised as a new wave in content sharing, and that's not off-base. In the same way that the advent of smartphones have made it easier to take a picture and email it or upload to Facebook, Google Glass reduces it to simple verbal commands. Recording drunken exploits has never been so effort-free. From the experiences of those who've tested the device, it works startlingly well.

Project leaders Steve Lee and Isabelle Olsson see Google Glass as removing the barrier between using technology and living your life. They find that looking at a screen or through a camera lens shifts your attention away from the real world. With the old joke of people walking into trees and lamp posts because they're so absorbed in their phone, it's not entirely far-fetched.

However, the more cynical out there (myself included) find this all a bit voyeuristic. Consumers recording anything and everything for Google's perusal would both give me a vague feeling of being watched, and make me wary of what Google would do with all this footage.

To understand my concern, you'll want to be aware of a concept called 'Business intelligence'. Put simply, it's when companies process the information you leave out on the 'net. If you have a Google Mail account, and then search the internet or browse YouTube while logged in, Google remembers.

What do they do with this information? It's all pretty innocuous, really. Most noticeably, the recommendations you get on YouTube are based on your browsing history. But it's also used to give advertisers a little more information about you.

Nothing highly confidential is ever taken through Business Intelligence - your credit card details are safe - but information that you're shopping for suede shoes, or you like watching urban dance videos on YouTube is going to be useful to someone - and they'll pay for it, too.

The impacts that Google Glass could have on data research is absolutely huge. Your information, both online and offline would be at the fingertips of Google. Whether they actually do anything with it is down to the terms and conditions that you'll (inevitably) agree to upon purchasing the hardware.

The biggest hurdle for the development of the Google Glass (and the audience's reception) is how the general public can maintain their own privacy. Sure, Google can't stop a consumer from using the Glass to peep on the neighbours, but because it's an item of wireless technology, it can do all kinds of things, if the software's there. Facial recognition is always just on the cusp of being a reality; and while it would make tagging your photos for Facebook a lot more straightforward, there are plenty of people who would rather remain unseen.

Are there prevention methods? Google developers are hoping that the community of Glass users will form their own ethics around not recording people who want to remain unobserved, and give indications of when they aren't filming. For those who fear facial recognition technology, there's the fashionably avant-garde concept of make-up and hairstyle designs to fool computers, which look suitably cyberpunk. Detecting the wireless signals of Google Glass headsets would be a simple hack.

But I'm getting a little speculative here. While Google Glass is definitely first chapter in a story of technology becoming more integrated into our bodies, we can only guess at Google using any recordings for truly nefarious plots, as plausible as they may be.
I would still totally buy a pair.

Interested in finding out more?

Google Glass' website has promotional material and demonstration videos.
Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror had a great episode on the woes of integrated technology: 'The Entire History of You'
Rainbow's End by Vernor Vinge is a classic cyberpunk tale that explores the roads technology like Google Glass could eventually go down.

Popular Wandsworth pub reopens its doors after extensive refurbishment

2013-04-18T20:48:00.003+01:00

This restaurant review can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

The riverside Wandsworth restaurant The Ship reopened on Friday after a refurbishment starting in January.

The venue, which has been around since 1786 under the name Thameside Waterman's Inn, has expanded to included a larger courtyard with a new view of the river, bigger toilets and a new menu.

As the opening fell on a miserably overcast day, the large outside seating area went unused, something which made the inside feel even more warm and welcoming. The bar area is inside a conservatory, letting the room fill up with light, even on such a grey day.

The view into the dining area from the bar made it appear rather small, but upon entering, it had a large expansion off to the side. The kitchen is in full view of the diners, so those who are paranoid about food preparation need not break a sweat. The décor was rather 'antique rustic', with wood panelling everywhere, and intentionally mismatched chairs. It all felt rather relaxed and home-made.

The full dinner menu started at 6pm (before that, there's a small pub menu available, though the prices are similar to the dinner menu), and was rather diverse - I was expecting seafood as a speciality, given the restaurant name.

The courgette and sage soup was decently big and ideal for the weather, but I found it overly salty. Not enough to ruin it, but it drowned out the flavour of a sage a bit too much.

For the main course I had the monkfish, clam and tomato tart. The portion was sizeable, and the mix of seafood tasted great with the saffron cream sauce they used. The monkfish itself had a nice, slightly chewy texture - a must-try for those who haven't had that type of fish before.

I was looking forward to trying one of their rich-sounding desserts, the treacle tart in particular, but the monkfish tart was so filling I had to call it quits.

While I visited on a Friday, The Ship has a history of live music on Sundays and a dedicated Irish traditional music night on Tuesdays. Most notably, Tad Sargent and George Stains perform regularly.

"The primary aim is to look after customers through the summer," said Oisin Rodgers, manager of the establishment since 2006.

I entirely agree. Though The Ship had a successful opening (especially in the pub area), I think that come summer, The Ship will come into its own. The food is definitely at 'special occasions' prices for the post-university set like me, but I'm still looking forward to having an outdoors barbecue in the sunshine.

Information about The Ship, including menus and bookings can be found on their website www.theship.co.uk

Urgent need for more primary school places in Croydon, new figures reveal

2013-04-18T20:43:00.000+01:00

This news piece can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

Croydon is projected to be in severe need of primary school placements by 2014, according to an England-wide study.

The National Audit Office (NAO) warned on Friday that due to one in five primary schools in England being at capacity, there could be a deficit of 250,000 places by 2014. Croydon's projected shortfall of 15.8% is the one of the highest figures released.

The shortage of school placements in the borough has been acknowledged for some time. In February, residents campaigned against plans to expand a primary school in South Norwood, fearing it would put strain on nearby roads.

There is an ongoing consultation in progress on building a new primary school on Haling Road in South Croydon, offering 60 places a year. If the proposal is accepted, the school would take students from September 2014.
John Bownas, a spokesperson for Croydon Council’s Education Department, said that each student place matters when helping placement deficit issues in the area.

Annual Wandsworth festival boosted thanks to Arts Council funds

2013-04-18T20:41:00.002+01:00

This news piece can also be found at the South West Londoner, here.

Arts Council England will provide £40,000 to fund Wandsworth Arts Festival, helping to claim back run-down public areas by the river.

The event will run from May 3 - 19, with the official launch taking place on the opening day.
This year, over 40 events are set to feature including a new event called the Festival Fringe - a volunteer organised collection of community-based events as a testing ground for new work.
The festival will close on a large-scale outdoor event called The Shimmy. Lasting all day and free to attend, the public are invited to walk along the riverside between Putney Wharf and Wandsworth Park, filled with art installations, performances and spoken word recitals.

Councillor Jonathan Cook, Wandsworth's culture spokesman said that the 'generous' funding would help the festival to be even better than before.

"For the past two years, the arts festival has given residents and visitors from all over London the chance to discover the enormous wealth of culture and creativity Wandsworth has to offer," he said.
Details on the acts and events will be released by the Arts Team from April.

To find out more about the festival, event information can be found at http://www.wandsworth.gov.uk/artsfestival, on Facebook as 'WandsworthArtsTeam' and on Twitter @wandsworth_arts.

South West London high streets feel the impact of shop closures

2013-04-18T20:39:00.000+01:00

This news item can also be read on the South West Londoner, here.

Wimbledon is feeling the impact of high street closures, reflecting national figures released last week.

Unlike other towns in the area, Wimbledon's HMV store has so far escaped closure, but elsewhere the high street has succumbed to financial pressures.

PWC and the Local Data Company stated that last year, an average of 20 shops a day closed down, with further figures from December 2012 to February 2013 predicting this will increase to 28 per day.

Among the hardest-hit retailers across the researched town centres have been video games (-45%), health food (-24.7%) and clothing (-15.9%); while payday loan establishments, pawnbrokers and charity shops have increased in number (20%, 13.2% and 2.7% respectively).

Around Wimbledon town centre, owners of high street shops have been affected by recent closures. A GAME and a Jessops, long closed and abandoned since those businesses faced bankruptcy last year, linger unclaimed.

Millets, which also closed last year, had since been turned into a pop-up laptop repair shop, before finally becoming an Oxfam only three weeks ago. The Deputy Online Manager of the branch, 21-year-old Ellen Melhuish, said that many unemployed locals came to volunteer at the shop, including ex-employees from the nearby Jessops.

Mark Newbury, 28, deputy manager of the FARA charity shop, said that the opening of the new Oxfam branch had not affected the number of customers in his own store. He added that high street shop closures had affected him personally in the past, having taken up charity volunteering as a result of being made redundant during the recession.

Some sales assistants are seeing the closure of bigger businesses in a more positive light.

“It’s nice to see smaller, privately opened businesses," said Erin Luke, manager of the Cancer Research shop.

"Independently-run stores foster a better sense of community, so closures are not always a bad thing.”

Imagine This: A Medium Divided

2013-04-18T20:30:00.003+01:00

This article can also be found on One Hit Pixel, here.

I want you to imagine something for a moment. Picture a film industry where each film company had their own brand of DVD player, that would only play discs produced under their own publishing label. To be able to watch, say, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World or The Dark Knight Rises at home, you would have to purchase separate Universal and Warner Bros. brand players.

This, of course, sounds abjectly ridiculous. Yet it’s more or less how the games console industry operates. To the consumer it’s an annoyance – to experience more of the medium, you’re expected to pay a lot of money in extra hardware. However, Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony absolutely crave brand loyalty; it’s what brings in the largest revenue. To ensure that customers pick their hardware over competitors, these guys will try all sorts of tactics.

Means for the Market Share

Nintendo is very committed to selling hardware designed exclusively for gaming, and little else. This gives them a lot of creative freedom with hardware designs that can’t be easily transplanted to other hardware (we’re used to it now, but the design of the DS was really out there back in 2004). Of all possible tactics to fight for exclusivity, I don’t mind this one. A prompt for developers to design games of worth with new and interesting hardware encourages interesting results. They also have an illustrious history of iconic franchises on their side, requiring very little maintenance. The Pokémon franchise alone will have me putting money into their wallets for a long time to come.

Sony invests a whole lot of money in developers producing exclusive content just for their hardware. The occasional big titles that they have all to themselves are quite the customer draw. Because of Sony’s long and established connection with the Japanese game development scene, a lot of titles developed in the country end up being Sony exclusives. But in terms of hardware functions, there’s nothing, currently, that requires it to be exclusive to one kind of hardware. If those new IPs don’t gain traction with the consumers, all is lost.

These days, Microsoft is generally blasé about software exclusivity; realising that in terms of hardware, the Xbox 360 wasn’t really outstanding from the PS3, and definitely not from the ever-improving standards of the PC. Instead the draw is unique utility options, like the Kinect and Xbox SmartGlass technology – both of which can be considered underwhelming to date. I can respect the movement away from focusing on exclusives, but the push towards more peripheral hardware doesn’t help make gaming more affordable or accessible.

It’s The Same, But Different

So bearing in mind the present standards for how our three console giants handle themselves, how will this impact the new generation of consoles? We already have the Wii U following Nintendo’s Modus Operandi to the letter, but it’s the approach of the new Sony and Microsoft machines that have people speculating. Though honestly, it’s hard to think that their business practices will significantly change.

Sony, while they remain stony silent about the technical specs on their new games console (which everyone is calling the Playstation 4 for convenience’s sake) until February 20, we do know that many of Sony’s game development studios are also suspiciously quiet. What this most likely means is a line-up of Sony’s exclusive IPs – Uncharted, God of War, Killzone, LittleBigPlanet, Gran Turismo and some new from MotorStorm developers Evolution Studios all potentially in the pipeline. Studios are already making playful references to new titles on the horizon. It would be nice to take the presence of characters in Playstation All Stars as hints for releases, but I sadly doubt that game’s marketing ploys extend beyond DmC and Metal Gear Rising.

As for Microsoft, a little bit more of the Xbox 360 successor’s (referred to as the Xbox 720 in a few circles but we’re just calling in the next Xbox for now) technical specs available. There are a lot of words regarding the types of processors that may be used, but I struggle to find that especially interesting. That the use of a Kinect might be mandatory falls in line with Microsoft’s focus on peripherals, at the least. What raised my eyebrows was a mention of a patent by Microsoft being filed regarding ’3D projection’ back in September 2012, turning the entire room into a game screen – which was then demoed as IllumiRoom last month. It feels ridiculous, but that step towards virtual reality is a tantalising prospect for a new direction of game development, moreso than graphical fidelity.

For both of these, there’s a personal concern of backwards compatibility. Neither the PS3 or the 360 made much of playing old works; but allowing previous software to be played will let the companies wring the last few dollars out of the previous generation, and allow the consumers to keep their collection without having two consoles hooked up.

The Coming of the Uber Console?

If you’ll allow me one more thought experiment, could you actually imagine an industry where there’s only a single brand of household console? From a development perspective, it would be a godsend. While at present it’s generally desirable to have a game released on multiple platforms, it requires a lot of work for developers to create such ports, generally due to differences in hardware specifications, but sometimes it’s just a matter of politics.

As such, development for a single platform allows maximum running optimisation. An industry with only the one home console would seriously cut down on development times, since development tools like physics or particle effect engines would be useful to everyone.

In a way you could say that the Ouya is trying to be this Uber Console, as the barrier to entry for developing it is intentionally very low. But it will never have the kind of major software development support our resident Big Three do – nor does it help that, on Android, there’s already a fractured install base. There would have to be a near collapse of the games industry as we know it before such a unified movement could be feasible…

So who wants to cause an industry collapse with me?

Review: Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate

2013-04-18T20:24:00.002+01:00

This review can also be found on One Hit Pixel, here.

I had fallen out of love with action RPGs. Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance played well, but is obsessed with its own terrible plot, and the less said about what I think of Dark Souls, the better. It was a genre that didn’t feel fun any more; then I played Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate. It managed to do something I hadn’t seen in the genre for a few years – not take itself seriously, but remain in top form mechanically. If you’re a Monster Hunter veteran, you already know this – but this review isn’t so much for you (reinforcing your opinions aside). Those of you who are cautious newcomers, please read on.

Plot is very light; the tropical settlement of Moga Village has been ravaged by earthquakes and lightning-spewing leviathans. You, a Hunter, are tasked with showing such beasts the business, and reviving the community while you’re at it. As such, Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate is two games: A more fluid version of Phantasy Star 0 and a menu-based Harvest Moon. Both are compelling, but are even better combined.

As you set out to smack overgrown lizards silly, you’ll find that almost everything gives you items and resources; carved from your kills and foraged from the surroundings. Upon returning to base, you use those items to farm, fish, or best of all make new equipment.

Every weapon and armour piece is made from the skulls you’ve just caved in. It’s a kind of ridiculous joy to come back with a fresh corpse and see what you can turn it into. Giant butterfly-beetles? Now a sweet top hat. Armour-plated bear? Now some giant cymbals. The game is kind enough to give you the base versions of the 12 weapon types, and experimenting with them to find your favourite will push you to explore upgrade paths. The moment I found I could commit monster genocide using a huge metal bagpipe, I was sold.

That’s not to say the combat is easy. God, no. Each weapon type has its own quirks, generally in terms of attack ranges and animation length. Every move will leave you vulnerable in some way, and looking for openings and not committing to risky attacks is key to survival. Once you start fighting boss monsters, you’ll become an instant strategist, calculating but desperate. For those who can no longer get it up unless you’re putting bullet to brain-pan, there’s a set of ranged weapons (Bows and Light and Heavy Bowguns) that work in their own special way, along with armour sets that can only be worn by gunners.

However, despite the daunting nature of larger hunts, death is not swift, nor is it time-consuming. While success takes skill, early on it takes a few solid hits before your health starts getting low. This is a nice way to ease new players in – there’s a whole lot to learn, but the basics are fully explained and you’re given a lot of breathing room to figure things out. Blind and sudden failure is enjoyable only to masochists and those with too much free time.

The hunting locations are wonderfully diverse; forests, deserts, swamps, tundra, and implausibly safe volcanoes. Each comes with a pleasant musical sting upon entry, and then you’re left to the sounds of the wilderness – until you come across larger monsters, at which point satisfyingly tribal beats kick in. This sound design makes Moga Village’s non-stop jaunty tunes a touch grating.

Multiplayer is a major aspect of the experience. Some are happy to hunt on their lonesome (with AI buddies if need be), but after a while, repeating hunts to grind materials became less exciting when I could clear them consistently. However, with other people playing with you, nearly every mission becomes a thrill. Coordinating a hunt with each player taking on a different role (my Hunting Horn is great for this, the music the weapon type plays gives party-wide buffs) is incredibly satisfying.

A warning, though. The 3DS version of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate only allows for local multiplayer. If you want online, the Wii U version is required. The games are cross-compatible – as are the save files – but if you don’t have other like-minded hunters near you, bear this in mind.

The Monster Hunter experience isn’t for everyone, as cult series tend to be. Some resent resource management. Some see repeating missions as grinding (and the main story goes quickly if you only play required missions). Some prefer a more forgiving combat system. And that’s entirely okay – the long-time Monster Hunter players will fondly remember the moment the game ‘clicked’ for them, but no one is going to blame you for being hesitant to roll with the die-hards.

As for me, outstripping any concerns over grinding and resources, I got to be a sartorial king. A skirt made from sea monsters, a top made from shrieking tropical birds, and a cello made from creepy crawlies. Fabulous.

Paper Mario: Sticker Star (3DS)

2013-01-23T23:19:00.001Z

This (at the time of writing) preview can also be found on Shadowlocked, here.

The Mario RPGs stick a hefty middle finger up at the stat-crunching of traditional RPGs – and I love it. Whereas in the Final Fantasy series, a large portion of the combat is aiming to reach 9999 damage per attack, Mario's quests (and the Paper Mario games in particular) make you put a lot of strategy and effort into dealing what damage you can.

Couple this with the ability to deal extra damage and dodge blows taken via 'Timed Hits', and the combat of Mario RPGs feel more like puzzles than a series of statistics comparisons. However, among the series, there are some variations and exceptions. The Wii instalment, Super Paper Mario, crammed the system into a (surprisingly loose) platforming game – which didn't really work for me. Its predecessor, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door on the Gamecube felt like the pinnacle of what a Mario RPG could offer me, and I was secretly hoping that Paper Mario Sticker Star would match that.

The setup is exact Paper Mario fare. Bowser interrupts the annual Sticker Fest of Decalburg by causing the Sticker Comet to explode, throwing the 6 Royal Stickers in all directions, and leaving Mario to clean up his mess. His only companion in his adventure this time is Kersti, a 'sticker fairy'. For the early sections that I played, Sticker Star definitely echoes Thousand Year Door in tone and style (which is excellent and a huge plus by itself), and the writing is as long-form and self-referentially goofy as you could ever want. However, mechanically, it takes a surprising step towards... the adventure game genre?

Mario-nostalgia

Yes, while the basic tenets of a Mario RPG are present and correct – with 'Timed Hits', enemies to be defeated in less-than-straightforward ways, and incredibly jaunty battle themes – battles are given slightly less of a focus to favour exploration and puzzle solving in the game world. Think Monkey Island, and you're on the right track.

You could reason this change as being related to Sticker Star's main theme and mechanical gimmick – all of your actions and abilities are powered by stickers. Littered across the game world are stickers depicting weapons and items, and these are your only means of attack in battle. This means that if you run out of stickers you're defenceless; but they are easily replenished, and will generally be tailored to the foes in the area. Other, more significant items found are also turned into stickers for use in combat.

This system is incredibly streamlined; and forces you to think in a way that's contrasting to many RPGs – you don't benefit from holding onto your strongest items. Why waste three stickers on winning a fight when you can do it in one? Unfortunately, it also means that the finer features of Thousand Year Door are no longer present. There's no audience cheering you on in fights, or Partner Characters. The loss of the latter is a huge shame, but begrudgingly accepted. Attacks do a lot more damage than standard for a Paper Mario game, and you're rewarded for finishing fights quickly without taking damage. You don't even gain experience after battle (which is honestly a good thing). It definitely feels like battles are being pushed out of focus, but not in a way that makes them irrelevant or poor.

Puzzle me this

And what of the puzzle-adventure aspects? The game world is broken down into many small acts spread across a map, as with Super Mario Bros. 3/Super Mario World/New Super Mario Bros./etc. Not only is this a sensible decision for a 3DS game (it makes it a lot easier to play in bursts), it gives a focus for each area having a main event or puzzle to solve.

As with battles, they are also sticker-related; the focus of your play will be on finding items to resolve requests and obstacles in your path. What would wake up a sleeping Wiggler? Can you replant a Toad's destroyed flower garden? Some of the puzzles even take an oft-criticised aspect from point 'n' click adventures, with very specific and arguably obtuse solutions. There will only be one item that will wake up that Wiggler, even if you have something else that would make sense. Fortunately, you can press the L button at any time to get a hint from Kersti.

While, from its opening hour or so, Paper Mario Sticker Star is not Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door again, it doesn't really need to be (which is painfully obvious when said like that, but fans of a series have complicated feelings about sequels). It's mindful of the past in all the right ways, and the shift towards puzzle-adventure is a genre I actually like a whole lot (for whatever that's worth). The Mario RPGs continue to offer more than what's normally demanded of an RPG, and that's a very good thing indeed.

Ape Escape (DVD)

2013-01-23T23:15:00.000Z

This review can be found at Shadowlocked, here.

I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting when I popped Ape Escape into my DVD player. My frame of reference of the series was the original Ape Escape on PS1; the pioneer software for Sony's dual-stick Dualshock controller; a sweet soundtrack filled with poppy drum 'n' bass, and more ridiculous monkeys than you could count - trying their hardest to put their IQ-giving 'Pipo Helmets' to good use.

Plot-wise, the Ape Escape DVD provides the last of those three. A series of two-to-three minute episodes that largely focus on Specter - the villain of the Ape Escape series. He's an evil ape granted a genius intelligence though an experimental helmet. With his army of fellow apes (given helmets of their own), he intends to take over the world... but never manages to succeed.

At the very least, I expected an animation of the Ape Escape series to be an anime. Anyone would with such a 'typically Japanese' source material. But upon watching, these expectations were heavily subverted! Ape Escape is animated by Frederator, an American animation team, most notably responsible for The Fairly Odd Parents, but have more recently had a hand in the production of Adventure Time and Bravest Warriors.

A More American Monkey

There are two issues with this, one an outright problem and the other... more of a thinking point. The problem here is that Ape Escape was very much a side-project for Frederator. Written to fill Ad-break slots on the Nicktoons channel in 2009, the animation was produced in Flash, leading to a cheap and loose-looking finished product. That would be perfectly fine when watched on TV, but packed together like this, it stands out much more.

That's not to say Frederator didn't put in any effort into the production. The writers and directors of each episode shuffle around and are recognisable from the team's larger projects, and the voice cast (Greg Ellis as Spectre and Annie Mumolo as the kids out to stop him) are well-established in doing voices for cartoons and video games.

The show's writing is my second issue, but not necessarily a complaint. With an American studio handling the project, the writing is very typical of a Western show aimed at children, rather than a Japanese one. Since, as said before, the source material is full to the brim of Japanese-specific wacky humour, the absence of that is a surprise.

Here, you'll see slapstick reminiscent of Dennis the Menace; Sound effects just like a Hannah Barbera cartoon, and the visual gags of Dexter's Laboratory. All of it is aimed at someone at least a decade younger than me (I'm 22), but every so often a gag would be absurd and timely enough to get a chuckle from my cold, dead heart.

A Good Catch?

Still, the biggest question lingers: who should buy this? Animation fans aren't going to get much entertainment from a show that could be technically compared to Johnny Test. Fans of the Ape Escape games are likely to want the Japanese humour of the source material. Young kids would enjoy it, but Ape Escape is barely a recognisable name in the West these days, and as a kid your watching habits are very much franchise-driven.

For those who want to give Ape Escape a shot, the DVD will go on sale on February 18th for a reasonably cheap £7.99.

The Solution is Fisticuffs

2013-01-23T23:08:00.002Z

This feature is also available at n-Europe, found here.

The Menu-Based RPG. Iconic for the games that come under it, the way it changed perspectives on game design, and the impact it had on gaming culture. It's also a genre that's fallen almost entirely out of favour with the present gaming scene; all due to two common design features.

The first is grinding, a concept that - if you're reading this - is most likely known to you. The process of doing a task over and over until you're in the condition to progress. It could appear in subtle fashions, but because grinding can lengthen a 10 hour game into 20 hours, the games of old used it to make the title worth the high sale price, and the games of today use it to keep you firmly glued to your screen.

The second is something I call 'Stats as Progression'. It's something also familiar to RPG players, but it's less commonly discussed. Since the classic definition of the RPG is based around concepts of pen and paper games like Dungeons & Dragons, RPG characters have their abilities quantified. I'm talking about Health Points, Defence, Agility... Let's just call them your 'Numbers'. As a shorthand for your character growing stronger, these Numbers increase as you fight and win battles. The player can feel as though progress is being made, but in games without an action element, they can remove 'agency' from the player a little. It's frustrating to have an attack miss, just because a hidden calculation dictates so.

Combine these two ideas in one game, and you have a system where progression through the game is dictated by how high your Numbers are. And to get your Numbers to a level where progression is possible, you need to grind – most likely through killing enemies. But if this was just a flat proportion of Numbers Required to Time Playing, the game wouldn't feel like it's increasing in difficulty. So to combat this, the time grinding to get to the target Numbers gets progressively longer.

Does this sound like a game you've played before? I'm sure you can name a few. The thing is, when that's all that there is to a game's progression, the only aspect of a player that's being challenged is their patience. In an action-oriented game, to progress requires a steady increase in skill. Here, the player's skill need never improve.

Honestly, it's the number one reason why I, personally, will stop playing a game. Grinding is not fun by itself, and if the process isn't made engaging, or the reward doesn't feel worth the effort, then it's time to move on to greener pastures.

To avoid a game where winning is simply a matter of having the biggest Numbers, game designers need to look at what exactly their barriers to progress are, and how they can give the players more agency. It's almost like... a puzzle.

Puzzling Punch-Ups Performed on Paper

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is my favourite title on the GameCube. Its aesthetics were top-notch and would be enough for me to love the game alone, but it was the gameplay that sold me. PM:TTYD turned combat into a performance, figuratively and literally. To defeat enemies by just selecting your strongest attack was inefficient, and in some cases outright impossible – success came to those who mastered the infamous 'timed hits'.

And it wasn't just about attack execution – many enemies were designed with a puzzle-solving element. Beyond Mario's skill-set of stomps and hammers, he gets an entourage of partners who each have their own special skills. Koops the Koopa Troopa is immune to damage from spikes. Vivian the Shadow Siren can pull Mario into the ground, avoiding attacks that would otherwise be unblockable. As your partners are introduced to you, the fights get more demanding, requiring you to use your new abilities effectively.

To have battles be 'perfect' puzzles, the abilities of the player have to be known at all times. This can be a hard thing to incorporate into the normal RPG style. While this works for Zelda games, where access to every weapon is carefully timed with what dungeons and bosses you'll be fighting; imagine if Pokémon limited the monsters available to you for Gym battles! It would definitely be more challenging, but a lot more restrictive.

Examples off the Beaten Path

Some titles get around this by making the method of combat puzzle-like, rather than detailed strategies to defeat specific enemies. Puzzle Quest immediately comes to mind (though I find it a bad example, as the computer tends to cheat), but if you take a dip into the esoteric there are some good examples.

The 2009 DS title Radiant Historia was, in many respects, generic. The setting, characters and writing were entirely uninteresting (at times painfully so). However, it had a fascinating battle system. Enemies you fight hang out on a 3x3 grid, and can be repositioned by your party's attacks. Consecutive attacks will chain together, so with some careful planning you can force all foes onto the same panel, taking heavy damage with every attack.

Baten Kaitos was a beautifully weird GameCube game that featured cards as your means of attack. While each card had its own ability, they also came marked with a number; creating 'chains' of cards with incrementing numbers was vital to dealing good damage. As such, building your deck of attacks was a very involved and careful process.
Final Fantasy XIII (forgive me for not using a Nintendo example) was heavily criticised for being linear, but that meant the game ensured that each fight would be a worthy challenge – and its battle system (which revolved around changing team tactics on the fly to keep up with fast and vicious enemy strategies) made for some of the most intense fights I've played in a main-series Final Fantasy.

The Paper Mario of the Present

With the release of Paper Mario Sticker Star, fans everywhere fiercely compared it to the lofty heights of Thousand Year Door. Unsurprisingly it doesn't hold up, but not because it's inherently bad... just different.

With the sticker gimmick that Sticker Star is based around, it takes the idea of battles being puzzles to extremes. The puzzles outside of battle have direct impact on your progress in battle, and vice-versa. For those who aren't familiar with the game, Mario's abilities are taken from an inventory of stickers. Solving puzzles in the field and attacking in battle uses the same resource, and stickers are single-use.

This turns Sticker Star into a giant resource-management puzzle. Every battle forces you to decide between using your best skills now or later – but hoarding stickers results in dead weight. Running out will cost you time and money to replenish your stocks (so failure isn't crippling), but you're gently encouraged to collect any stickers you find – even if they appear useless.

This is all well and good on paper (har har), but for those expecting a more tried-and-true RPG experience, the different approach to battles has proven a little off-putting. Still, this shouldn't dissuade any Paper Mario sequels – or the Menu-Based RPG genre as a whole – from getting wild and experimental with their enemy slaying. 'Solving' a battle brings out a sense of satisfaction wholly different from sweeping digital vistas or satisfyingly chunky gun feedback.

In a gaming climate where the big-name RPGs are action-oriented, open world affairs; the Menu-Based RPG is slowly being forgotten. While no one will be too sad to see rigid, grind-heavy affairs fall by the wayside, there have been innovative puzzle-like experiences through the console generations. Who knows, maybe the next big RPG title of 2013 will challenge our minds in unforeseen ways.

A Professor Layton RPG, maybe? Hmm.

Why You Should Play Virtue's Last Reward

2013-01-23T22:56:00.000Z

This review and eulogy for my game save was originally posted on n-Europe, and can be found here.

Virtue's Last Reward is outstandingly fresh, gripping and challenging. It's by far the most interesting 3DS game I've played. But you shouldn't buy it; at least, not yet.

To explain why you shouldn't buy it is relatively simple, but explaining why the game is so good is more involved – and involves a small history lesson. So without further ado:

Once upon a time there was a company called Chunsoft. They produced a game in 2009 called 999: Nine Hours, Nine persons, Nine Doors for the DS, and it was incredible (see my personal review). While the Visual Novel genre was (and still is) a staple in Japan, the closest many western consumers got in the genre was the Ace Attorney series.

999 offered a suspenseful and harrowing plot; nine people find themselves trapped on a sinking ship and tasked with playing the 'Nonary Game'. The road to escape is filled with puzzle rooms, odd discussions about metaphysics, and the occasional spot of chilling gore. Even though 999 never saw a release in Europe, the title proved to be popular enough for a sequel to be made: Virtue's Last Reward.

In 2010, a separate games studio called Spike released their own Visual Novel for the PSP: Dangan Ronpa. It had a distinct, yet similar theme to 999; A murder mystery involving 15 students trapped in a high school of despair, headmastered by a psychopathic talking teddy bear, Monobear. The title was only ever released in Japan, and was an unknown in the West, until the game was covered as a 'Let's Play', translated into English by Orenronen, a member of the Something Awful message boards.

In early 2012 Spike and Chunsoft had a merger into, er, Spike Chunsoft. They had been owned by the same conglomerate as far back as 2005, but this merger seemed apt; Virtue's Last Reward takes on many thematic elements from 999 and Dangan Ronpa. It has an outstanding pedigree, and it shows.

You play as Sigma, a seemingly ordinary university student who, on December 25th of 2028, finds himself suddenly kidnapped and trapped within a giant warehouse with 8 others. The reason? To play the Nonary Game: Ambidex Edition. Escape will only be granted to those who can successfully amass 9 Points, gained by allying with fellow players... or betraying them.

As with its prequel, Virtue's Last Reward is incredibly verbose, but offsets its novel sections with 'escape the room' puzzles. However, this time everything has been kicked up a notch. There are so many possible branching paths to the plot, a function to jump between checkpoints in the game was mercifully added. Puzzle rooms have bonus challenges that give secret files. They explain the game's backstory, in a... disarmingly casual fashion. Getting these bonus rewards requires some lateral thinking, and are definitely rewarding to solve.

The characters are also a joy to get to know. The character designs have a mixture of hits and misses (the character artist, Kinu Nishimura, often adds fanservice to her art, and some of VLR's characters get more than their fair share (as seen to the left); but all of them grow over the course of the game, some in unexpected ways. The voice acting for the European version is Japanese-only (the NA release had an optional English dub), but they all suit the characters well; especially the evil AI that hosts the Nonary Game, Zero III (his inclusion is very similar to that of Monobear in Dangan Ronpa).

The challenging puzzles and compelling plot had me playing every night; staying up until ridiculous hours finding my way out of a locked pantry and deciding whether or not to betray my team mates on this play through. But as I progressed, cracks began to appear in VLR's veneer.

At first they were silly, easily ignored things. The localisation of the text often strays from what's said in Japanese, and noticing when the two don't match up is a little jarring. During puzzles, the framerate stutters when you rotate the camera. The script insists on writing 'donno' instead of 'dunno', along with a number of silly typos in general.

And then there were the save corruption issues.

It was a problem known about in the American 3DS release. There was a bug that could corrupt your save file if you saved in the middle of certain puzzle rooms. This was annoying, but easily avoided. After the EU release, that warning was extended to all puzzle rooms. This was considerably more concerning; but still avoidable.

But then, after around 20 hours of playtime, I decided to take a break. I was nowhere near a puzzle room, so I felt I was safe. Not so. When I next boot up my game and try to load my save, I was greeted with a black screen. My 3DS had crashed. Two-thirds of the way through a great game, and my journey was over.

It brought about an odd feeling inside me. I had pre-ordered and happily laid down my £30 to play a game that would unlikely see Europe's shores. The game was engrossing and compelling enough to lose many, many hours of sleep. I would have given the European publishers, Rising Star Games, money up front if it guaranteed games like this to be consistently released over here. But at the end of the day, I had paid £30 for a game that didn't work.

I'm still not sure how to make peace with that. At time of writing, Rising Star Games have gone on record to say that they are aware of the problem; but nothing regarding what they're going to do about it. 3DS games can be patched (It happened with Mario Kart 7 not too long ago); but who knows if the same will happen here. Until some concrete action has been taken, please hold off on enjoying Virtue's Last Reward. Getting obscure releases is wonderful; but only if they actually work as intended.

Preview: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch

2012-12-15T18:21:00.000Z

This preview can also be found at Shadowlocked, here.

I'll be honest here: I'm not a Studio Ghibli fan, and not of the works of Miyazaki in particular. His films are pretty, no arguments there. But as a jaded and bitter adult, the endless whimsy does little for me, and the ham-fisted environmentalist messages even less.

So on paper, Ni No Kuni, an RPG co-produced by Studio Ghibli (right down to Joe Hisaishi composing the soundtrack) would do little for me. Fortunately they are working alongside RPG masterminds Level-5 – and now I've had time to play the PS3 title, I can safely say that although the theme is pure Ghibli, the gameplay experience is totally my kind of game.

Ah, but why do I say the “PS3 title” specifically? Well, back in 2010, Level-5 and Studio Ghibli made Ni No Kuni: The Jet Black Mage for the DS. While a solid RPG in its own right, its main draw was that it came with a real-world grimoire, reflecting one that appeared in the game. Within it was information on every weapon, item and enemy, as well as detailed lore about the game world. Due to the hefty translation requirements of the book, the game was never localised.

However, the PS3 release, retaining the basic story basis and characters – as well as including the high quality graphical production as expected of any HD console – has the budget and the scale to get a full English translation, book included. Hisaishi's soundtrack (performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic orchestra, no less) is coupled with smatterings of fully animated cut-scenes from Ghibli; in a similar way to how Catherine had some scenes animated by STUDIO4°C.

The rise of a classic

The story is very familiar fare. You play as Oliver, an ordinary kid living in an ordinary (if somewhat 50's-ish) town. But due to a series of unfortunate events, his mother dies of heart failure. Distraught by his sudden loss, Oliver's tears transform a doll given to him by his mother. The now living doll (with a charmingly well-localised Welsh accent) calls himself Drippy, Lord of the Faeries. He tells Oliver of a mysterious evil plaguing his home land, and needs Oliver - as the Chosen One - to take up the role of a wizard to cure the spreading case of Brokenheartedness plaguing the population.

If you're familiar of the Hero's Journey story archetype, Ni No Kuni plays it line for line. And as a game designed for children (and written by Studio Ghibli), you would expect no less. The vast lush scenery porn of the Other World, its adorable denizens (enemy and ally alike), and how the game gently hand holds you from check point to check point ensures that Ni No Kuni is ideal for the son, daughter or young sibling in your life.

But don't take this as Ni No Kuni being unsuitable for older audiences to play. Level-5 shows some great mastery of game design, lending tricks from their previous RPG exploits. The battle system is that of a simplified action RPG (and a subtle call back to Rogue Galaxy on the PS2). You can freely run around the battle arena, but attacking and defending are on timers. Deciding the best time to attack is incredibly important, especially when Oliver's running speed is rather feeble.

When battles get too hot for him to handle, Oliver can summon a familiar to fight in his stead. Almost every foe in the game can be recruited to your side; all detailed in full within your magical grimoire. While the preorder version of Ni No Kuni will come with a physical copy, the entire text is available within the game itself. The translation and content echoes strongly of Dragon Quest IX (also produced by Level-5), right down to the punny names of foes. The Hog-Goblin line of enemies also features the Gobfather, the Gobspeed and the Gobforsaken. Christ.

When you're not battling monsters, you are puzzle solving...of the highest order. As a wizard, Oliver's task to cure Brokenheartedness requires him to borrow a little Heart from those who have excess to cure those who are lacking. A guard lacking a get-up-and-go attitude? Find him a little Enthusiasm! On paper they're little more than side quests; but it's a clever bit of attention paid to the game's theme. You're magically fixing broken hearts on a quest to save your mother... and what did she die of again?

I do always have a soft spot for games that include a bestiary; so the way Ni No Kuni encourages you to read as you roam, discovering new pages as you play, is incredibly compelling. The game reportedly has an around 50 hour play time, but finding all there is to see (and completing the huge number of side quests) will add on many more. For those who need to be won over (or just want to see the lush visuals in action), a demo is available on the PSN right now! Otherwise, the full game will be available from the 25th January, 2013.

Preview: Sonic & All-Stars Racing: Transformed (WiiU)

2012-11-22T17:25:00.003Z

This preview has also been released (in a slightly edited form) on Shadowlocked, here.

The Mario Vs. Sonic rivalry hasn't quite died yet. Sure, they get along just fine at the Olympics, but when it comes to Kart racing, Sonic is still looking to take the top spot.

Between Mario Kart and its long list of competitors across console generations, the genre has become incredibly refined. At this stage, in order to remain competitive, innovation and bold statements are definitely required. In the light of Mario Kart 7, All-Stars Racing Transformed has done both of those things; and it succeeds! Mostly.

What makes the All-Stars Racing series stand out is its use of Sega history. While Sonic's in the game title, it's not all about him. Characters and courses are sourced from all places, with surprising additions. Transformed features a Skies of Arcadia stage (and Vyse as a racer), and raceways born from Panzer Dragoon and Afterburner, of all things. For more contemporary cameos, the Starlight Carnival stage from Sonic Colours is included, which is just as mind-blowingly colourful as the original.

Transformed makes itself directly comparable to Mario Kart 7 by having the vehicles (you guessed it) transform. However, while the hang glider and submersible in Mario Kart handled in manners similar to the basic car, the planes and boats in Transformed handle noticeably differently.

On paper, this makes a lot of sense. In terms of... let's say 'gamefeel', having each vehicle type handle differently is logical; a plane controlling exactly like a car would feel terrible. At the same time, having the handling of your car change severely in the middle of a race can be very off-putting if you're not prepared for it.

The previously mentioned planes are egregious for this. Developers Sumo Digital realised that, in a game designed for all ages, having total free-flight would end in wayward chaos. As such, you can turn on a 'guiding path' that creates a friendly green guideline in the flying sections. It's also somewhat magnetic – flying too far away from the line will pull you back on track. You can turn this assist system off at any time, but after using it for a while, the full plane controls gave me the piloting skills of a drunken madman. I hastily turned the guides back on.

Like any self-respecting kart racer, All Stars Racing Transformed has weapons – but interestingly, they aren't the randomised game-changers that they are in Mario Kart. Equivalents to the Blue Shell and the Lightning are nowhere to be found. This, personally, is a glorious, well-judged addition. While, in close races, a well-timed firework will get you into the lead, the person at the back can no longer effortlessly ruin the person in first place.

What they have to challenge the leader instead are stage hazards. On some courses, like Starlight Carnival, enemies from the source material will hover ahead causing havoc. On all stages, there will be a sudden swarm of bees at set intervals during the race. The person in 1^st place will have to deal with them, and poor driving at these moments can leave you fighting to hold position. While sudden, it never feels unfair – but having these obstacles be bees on every stage feels like a wasted opportunity for good theming. They could easily be ninjas on the Shinobi stage, or Rokkaku Police on the Jet Set Radio stage.

In terms of game modes, they've taken the time to go beyond the basic standards. There's the regular Grand Prix, versus modes, and battle modes – but there's also an extensive single player mode that acts as a sort of 'career', with race requirements, branching paths and challenge races. The challenge races are legitimately difficult, and are a great way to improve your skills in the game (don't know how to powerslide? Do the checkpoint challenge where you get bonus time for good drifts, and you'll learn fast). If you want to take things online, up to 10 racers can participate at once.

While there are additional functions that make use of the Wii U's assets, they're all rather incidental. That's no bad thing – labouring gimmicks into the control scheme would definitely hinder more than it would help. You can use the tablet controller as a steering wheel should you wish (you won't); the screen acts as a top-down map in single player, and your own personal screen in multiplayer.

It feels a little mean-spirited of me to continually mention Mario Kart while writing about a game that's legitimately solid and entertaining in its own right; but much of Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed wouldn't exist (or at least wouldn't be so refined) without the context provided by Nintendo's racing series. That Transformed has managed to take that context and make it its own this is definitely commendable, though. Until Nintendo release Mario Kart WiiU (and trust me, they will), Transformed is looking to happily be your kart racer for the next generation.

N.B. After the article went up on Shadowlocked, I had an error corrected. Rather than butcher the paragraph to fix it, and addendum was placed:

Since writing this, I've been corrected about the weapons. There is actually an equivalent to the Blue Shell in All Stars Racing Transformed: the bee swarms. During my (short) time playing, I never found them in item rotation, so I took them as a stage hazard. That this isn't the case is actually a huge shame, though the reality makes a lot of sense. I'd still enjoy it if the bees were themed to to stage they appeared in, though.

5 video games that demand a film adaptation (and some that don't)

2012-11-21T13:34:00.001Z

Going by the AAA titles, game design shares elements with film design. Having a fully voiced and acted plotline is common these days. However, video games make for poor films. Game series that get adapted to film are campy cult hits at best, and a waste of everyone's time at worst.

Still, games adapted to film aren't an entirely toxic concept; it just takes a little bit of lateral thinking. Here are 5 films I feel could be interesting adaptations, and a few that definitely shouldn't make a trip to Hollywood. (Note that some titles I mention may be in production already. Just because they exist doesn't mean they should.)

Take them to the silver screen

Yakuza (2005, Sega)

Who would direct it?: Chan-wook Park (Oldboy)

Yakuza has drama on two levels. On one, there's the inter-personal relationships of ageing yakuza members searching for peace and comfort. On another, there's Kazuma Kiryu repeatedly ramming a barstool into some thug's face.

Adapted as an action movie, a gradual swing between emotional torment and low budget, brutally choreographed violence would be deliciously harrowing; a welcome escape from the CGI and explosions that's the normal go-to for the genre.

Luigi's Mansion (2002, Nintendo)

Who would direct it?: Dean DeBlois (How to Train Your Dragon, Mulan)

Feel-good summer blockbuster of the year; one plumber who has long suffered in his brother's shadow, plucks up the courage to be the driving force in his own life. A decent animation studio is a must - the Mushroom Kingdom doesn't work in real-life proportions, evidenced many times.

Half the fun would be Luigi's ghostbusting antics, the other half being a great art direction. Hey, if Disney's Wreck-It Ralph makes a decent return at the box office, and they retain the license to use Nintendo characters, this may not end up being conjecture.

...I wish.

Driver: San Francisco (2011, Ubisoft)

Who would direct it?: Scott Sanders (Black Dynamite)

Driver:SF is a love letter to the car chase genre, right down to bonus missions that reference big-name films set in San Fran. However, a Scary Movie style adaptation with endless references isn't going to cut it.

The plot of Driver:SF is campy, simple and incidental (John Tanner is a cop chasing down criminal mastermind Charles Jericho - even in his dreams), meaning a film version can go all out in telling a self-parodying tale about comas, fast cars, and rebellious police.

If they manage to retain the game's mechanic of Tanner possessing other drivers, the chase sequences could be unlike any other.

L.A. Noire (2011, Team Bondie)

Who would direct it?: Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist)

The Artist, though I didn't care for it, proved an important point - the techniques of old can have modern relevance. Gaming fans already know about this (what with all the retro-style indie games out there), but here it means that mimicking old film styles has more validity than just being a gimmick.

L.A. Noire's 1940s setting heavily reflects actual Film Noir (right down to the use of flashback), but Film Noir is traditionally done in the 'past tense' (with the protagonist as a narrator), while L.A. Noire is very much 'present tense'. Doing the adaptation in a true-to-period style would make for an interesting angle, and might encourage viewers to look into some Noir classics.

Mother 3 (2006, Nintendo)

Who would direct it?: Chris Butler (ParaNorman, Coraline)

The Mother series is known for its cute and colourful settings, with a darker horrifying plot underneath. That kind of setup just begs to be told in a twee stop-motion format (without Tim Burton, preferably).

Mother 3 in particular is a great tale experienced by few, and a surprisingly sad and moving one at that. Having recently watched ParaNorman, the team behind that would do incredible justice to such a project. Just... Don't let very young children watch - they may be permanently scarred.

Keep them on the game console

Mass Effect series (2007-2012, Bioware)

Mass Effect's charm really isn't in its world-building. What the games did well was making that world feel relevant to the player - a range of choices in character design, dialogue options, good/evil dichotomies, and so on. A film (being a linear narrative) has to choose a single story path - so writers of a Mass Effect movie would have to try and encompass a representative telling of the games with a single continuity - and that just ain't happening.

The series' huge backstory also puts it in a position similar to the lacklustre Watchmen. A fine line stands between drowning newcomers in lore, and not having enough in-jokes for the diehard fans. Failure results in a hot mess. Mass Effect would likely suffer even worse - fans are going to take every difference between the film and their own personal experience on board.

Uncharted series (2007-2011, Naughty Dog)

Uncharted is already 90% film. The set pieces in the series are grand and dramatic, but the best moments are where you have control during the death-defying parts - the possibility that you could mess up and leave Nathan Drake to perish. Just watching the same scene (without the uncertainty of survival, no less) voids that tension.

Aside from that, the actual events in the Uncharted games are pressingly generic in action films. We've had decades of ruins exploration, shoot-outs against Russians and snappy one-liners - Drake as a character can't offer anything new to that formula.

Heavy Rain (2010, Quantic Dream)

Heavy Rain is, in a way, a film rendered as a video game. The director, David Cage, has gone on record many times saying that the future of games is to make them more like films, and has yet to prove himself correct.

The game's cinematography is definitely first class, but little else is. Heavy Rain's story is unique for a game, but dire for a film. Character motivations are all over the place, and the character plot threads are hastily stitched together. An adaptation would have to fix so much to make things competent, it may as well be a different story.

Final Notes

Video game stories are generally unambitious and often pandering, but a common complaint levelled at film adaptations (and this holds true for films adapted from other kinds of media) is that the narrative strays too far from the original work. The long-term fans want to see their darlings in a 1:1 translation, and won't stand for less.

The best film adaptations that I've seen don't take the source's story verbatim, but instead understand the feel of the original. The Street Fighter movie isn't great, but it's an adaptation that definitely captures the goofy nature of Street Fighter, even if the character roles and actor choices are unorthodox.

If game-to-film adaptations are to succeed, the games with a strong theme, easily understood context, and with room for reinterpretation are key. Just taking what sells well isn't going to cut it.

Then again, since when were adaptations about artistic integrity?

The Too Spooky Shopping Trip

2012-10-30T09:39:00.001Z

This article has been written as part of the Critical Distance October Blogs of the Round Table. It can also be read at Digital Heaven Entertainment, here.

The scariest moment in gaming I've experienced? Accidentally saving over a near-endgame file of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. I've not really played any horror games. Not because I don't want to, I've just never really gotten around to it.

Hopefully not having played the first 3 Silent Hills won't invalidate my opinions as a Person Wot Writes About Games; but until I eventually play them, there are a few times where a game has been successfully unsettling. The one that's still stuck with me is from Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey.

As a series, the Shin Megami Tensei games (this is excluding Persona and other spinoffs, mind) are very thematically similar. You, a lowly human have been gifted with the technology to summon demons to fight by your side, while a ridiculous catastrophic event goes on around you. Depending on how you react to certain story choices, you gain a Chaotic/Lawful alignment (intentionally not just 'good/evil', though often it pans out to be the same).

Where Strange Journey differs is its setting - a series of twisted worlds called the Schwarzwelt. Created by demons, it represents the ills of the human condition. You play as a soldier of a global army, investigating the Schwarzwelt in an attempt to destroy it; though you quickly find yourself unable to escape.

Welcome to Sector Carina

Up to a point, each location in the game plays up a problem with humanity, with a surreal twist. A lot of these areas don't have the impact they should (which I will discuss later), but the third area, Sector Carina is meant to represent humanity's greed, being a gigantic demon shopping mall.

And you know what? It really creeped me out. Sadly, not entirely due to the game's aesthetics, but at least partially! Sector Carina was clever in being uncanny. At first look, everything does look like an ordinary shopping mall (through the filter of low-quality textures on a DS screen), but then you talk to the first NPC:

And then you look at the posters and the shop windows:

And then you pay attention to the slow, militaristic waltz used as background music:

And it settles in that this is a shopping mall with all of the pretence stripped away. Everything you could ever want is within these walls (along with a whole lot of stuff you don't), and your only company are towering urges to BUY, EAT, and CONSUME.

Relevance in a Riot

I was playing Strange Journey in August 2011, and reached Sector Carina during the time when the England Riots occurred. For those who aren't familiar, a riot broke out in Tottenham, a district of London, on the 7th of August. What had started out as a protest against police corruption and brutality in the area took a turn for the violent once someone decided to throw a bottle when the police arrived to suppress the protest. Things escalated quickly, with shops smashed and ransacked, and arson attempts. Once it started, similar riots sprang up all across London, and then into other, unrelated cities of England.

On the day they had started, I happened to already be in the centre of town, watching Croydon slowly go up in flames on BBC News. Had I not gone home when I did, the underground and bus services would have closed, leaving me stranded on Tottenham Court Road. I get home by sundown and find through Twitter that even my local high street had rioters.

While the area where I lived wasn't especially wealthy, it didn't have economic and police problems as severe as the ones in Tottenham. As I found out more about the event, it became woefully apparent that the majority of the rioters weren't causing anarchy for any kind of cause, other than their own pockets.

In a way, even though what happened is incredibly sad, I empathise. People riot in pursuit of aspirations, and ideally you'd want those aspirations to be political. However, many of us (and I'm including myself here) have aspirations that don't extend too far beyond our economic status, the next pair of shoes, the next luxury meal, the next tablet computer.

That some of us are willing to go to the lengths of destruction just to get it (along with the vague promise that you won't get caught) is actually pretty scary! It weighed on my mind, as I progressed through Carina, being told that the area was run by the demon Horkos, a glutton so dedicated, it ate an entire space craft, filled with the protagonist's comrades. Drawing a parallel between materialism and violence is heavy-handed, but it's not exactly incorrect.

It is later implied through some side-NPC dialogue that the layout of the Sector was based on a human shopping mall. This kind of M. Night Shyamalan twist made me roll my eyes, but then, the Westfield shopping mall in Stratford opened.

Retail Therapy & Theming Consistency

It's hardly likely to be the largest shopping complex out there, but I felt dwarfed by Westfield Stratford's size when I visited in its opening week. It had a casino. It had a 10-screen cinema. It had a food court that took up almost a third of the whole complex, with every kind of regional cooking speciality. It's the kind of place that would get anti-capitalists and anti-consumerists feeling violently ill, but I actually, honestly enjoy that kind of thing.

As I walk around, I recall Sector Carina and suddenly feel awkward. I make a realisation. For once, the moral soapboxing in a piece of media is about me. Funnily enough, by being very faithfully tied to the rules of what makes an Atlus JRPG, Strange Journey keeps its theme and its gameplay woefully separated. It hamstrings the entire game, really.

While I couldn't get emotionally invested with the themes of war or lust, if they'd taken the time to do something to make those ideas relevant to the player, they'd have more impact. It makes Sector Carina's effectiveness something of an accident. While the stage itself didn't do anything to make you think about greed via the game mechanics, materialistic greed is something that I can admit to having done in the past, way more than bloodthirstiness or careless environmental destruction or (sadly) wanton hedonism. Sector Carina was effective because the setting has (at least for me) some real-life parallels; not just a strawman argument of humanity.

While my experience with Strange Journey is very much down to circumstance, the aesthetic and theme of Sector Carina could still be used in other games. Commerce as Horror is something not really explored, unless you count Dead Rising (you shouldn't) or one of the stages in Illbleed (which does use greed as a mechanic, impressively). No one should experience their neighbourhood being torn apart in the pursuit of goods in real life, but they can damn sure could see it done in a game.

N.B.: You can read about the finer details of the 2011 riots at the Guardian here. The information is surprisingly extensive.

10 Features More Games Should Include

2012-10-02T12:42:00.000+01:00

This feature can also be found on Shadowlocked, here.

Everyone has their personal likes and dislikes when it comes to game design, and when making games for the public, a developer can't possibly please everyone. That said, there are often trends and fashions when it comes to putting features in a game, and there are definitely some features that I wish would start appearing more often in current releases.

As a small disclaimer, these personal preferences aren't at all objective. There is a long time yet before I'm crowned Ultimate Overlord of Game Design. And I'm not saying all games have to include these features - they are the sprinkles on top that could make a solid game even better.

1. Local Multiplayer

I grew up playing games designed for 'friends on the couch' style gaming. My childhood was filled with many evenings of Snowboard Kids and Mario Party on the N64. These days, because online play is incredibly prevalent, playing with strangers on the internet takes precedence over anyone in the room with you. It worked well for Journey, but when there are games like SSX that don't offer Split-screen play, something is horribly wrong.

2.The Non-Violent Option

So you're a paragon of virtue, and being attacked by thugs. Sure you could just impale them with three feet of steel, but you're 'the good guy', so simply cracking all their ribs and leaving them to the elements is the obvious humane choice. Batman: Arkham City and Deus Ex: Human Revolution both do this, and it's a little unsettling. If I'm to be given the option of non-lethal force, I'd like to not have to hospitalise half the population, thanks.

3. Theming With a Meaning

With the push for video games to be considered an art form and not just entertainment, games are going to have to be 'about' something. Not just "This is a game about being a cool guy with awesome powers", but actually discussing something relevant to real life. Better yet, let the player interact with a meaningful topic through the game play. The soon to be released Watch Dogs is very much about Internet security. By placing you as a character who's job is to hack into other people's lives, you're going to think a lot more about how you handle your real life internet affairs.

4. Beautiful in Any Body

A popular inclusion in many games of this generation is character customisation. On paper it's a good idea - you can immerse yourself in a game even further by having a representation of yourself - but often the options are rather limited. Which isn't really a problem if you're an average-looking white dude, but it can be a bit disappointing for everyone else. The Saints Row series is very notable for how it accommodates all body types (and genders!) to a ridiculous extreme, and it's something other games with customisation should really look into.

5. Gotta Collect 'Em All

I never grew out of my Pokémon phase. It's sad, but true. What kept me coming back was the immense number of team combinations I could come up with, and the effort put into all of the monster designs. It's the same traits that has me hooked on Magic: the Gathering, too. Collecting and customisation is a tried and tested way to hook an audience, and it's way less insidious than the Skinner Box techniques that games like World of Warcraft employ to keep you playing.

6. A Grey Matter

It's so stale when a game tells you that your actions are either unquestionably just or pure evil. It's a weird illusion of choice when really a better story can be told without forcing such Black-and-White morality. Catherine does a good job of having a personality quandary without it necessarily being about morality. Better yet, NieR is a title that at its very core is about subverting your feelings as to what's right or wrong.

7. In With The New

It's something that plagues all media, not just video games, but endless sequels feel really restrictive and stagnating. Some of the best games have the benefit of not having to be tied to a canon. Platinum Studios (the guys behind Bayonetta and Vanquish) have deftly avoided making proper sequels to their own Intellectual Property; and it lets each game speak for itself.

8. Mytholo-VG

Very circumstantial, but I just love it when, if a game has to source from world literature and culture, it goes all out in its adaptation. The menagerie of mythological beasts and deities in the Shin Megami Tensei series keeps me coming back game after game. Of course, shallow or lazy insertions are not favoured. More Okami and less Smite, please.

9. Micro, not Macro

Sandbox games with large explorable worlds are definitely popular ('Skyrim' will show up in the Oxford English Dictionary at this rate), but I've always found them a little unsatisfying. For all the landscape, the inhabitants - especially ones that aren't plot relevant - feel weak and soulless. I'm not easily immersed in my video games, but the game worlds I hold the most dear aren't the largest, but put loving detail into every inhabitant and the lives they lead. One of the many things that made The World Ends With You my favourite game.

10. Vampires

For real. Way cooler than zombies. You can't argue with Castlevania.