The curious name of these pickled carrots should serve as a warning for the hot-pepper adverse.  Still, to avoid unpleasant recriminations from friends — and possible screams of pain from unsuspecting children — be advised to make sure everyone is aware of the peppy surprise packed into these bouttonnieres.

What makes this batch of pickled carrots so lovely is this great device found at Kam Man, my go-to resource for Chinese foodstuffs, cookware, plates and who knows what else. Poking around the store’s two levels always yields a new treasure or two.

This peeler lacked any English instructions or identification. But the clever illustrations on the packaging told enough: it showed cucumbers and carrots; it showed a chef; it showed long feathery strips of carrots and long flat peels of cucumbers.

It also displayed a woman with thin strips of cucumber covering her arms and face which looks like a highly efficient version of the old cucumber-slices-on-the-eyes trick one sees so often in ladies’ beauty and fashion magaines.

The device has a double-bladed cone affixed to a handle. The outer blade is ridged. Drag this blade down the sides of the peeled carrots to create grooves all the way around. Then insert the carrots into the cone and twist like you are sharpening a pencil. The interior blade will shave off thin slices of carrot with feathered edges.

The strips are remarkably thin and yet strong too.  Cut each strip of carrot into 6″ lengths and roll into flower shapes. Pop in a pepper stamen and there you have it.

If you can’t find this tool in your neck of the woods, Amazon offers this spiral slicer  and twin curl ribbon cutter, both of which would make nifty shapes too.

RECIPE FOR GOOD AND EVIL CARROT PICKLES

1 lb. carrots, peeled
4 red habañero or Scotch bonnet peppers
2 c. vinegar
1 c. sugar
garlic

Use the peeler of your choice to slice the carrots into long, very thin strips, ideally with fluted edges. (See info about about my Chinese gadget.)

WEAR RUBBER GLOVES to cut the peppers into matchstick-size pieces, discarding seeds and white ribs inside the peppers.

Roll the carrot strips into flower shapes and place a few sticks of pepper in the center of each. Pack into hot sterilized canning jars.

Bring the vinegar and sugar to the boil, dissolving the sugar, and pour the solution over the carrots to within 1/4″ of the top of the jars. Add one clove of garlic, smashed, into each jar. Seal and process in a boiling water bath for 20 minutes.

Allow pickles to develop their flavor for at least a week before serving.

Makes 3 cups of pickles.

This original recipe was created in East Hampton’s Springy Banks Cannery, Spectacularly Delicious’s hygienic facility dedicated to the finest in home preserving using tested and trusted techniques. 

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This triple-layer chocolate cake, flavored with orange zest and cinnamon, obviously has to have a sweet green icing flowing down. (White chocolate spiked with Chambord and a good dollop of green icing tint.)  Slivers of candied almond are layered in the orange buttercream frosting that serves as the undercoat for the layers of molten green glaze.

What better culinary tribute to the greatest disco diva of all time?

As you can see, the cake is quite a spectacle, but worry not, it is delightfully delicious to the very last note. err, crumb.  When Donna Summer left us, she left a hole in our hearts. Mourning her goes hand in hand with the sadness of the passing of a very special time in our lives. Yes kiddies, the 1970s and 1980s hold treasured memories for so many people of a certain age.  And as we now know, the fun wasn’t to last forever.

Love to Love You Baby was my first D.S. attention getter, but it was I Feel Love that cemented my first hard core Donna Summer addiction.

Still neither of these or any of her other hits come close to the rapture of her the epic 18 minute MacArthur Park Suite. Heaven knows, this dance track is the highest high of them all.

I remember blowing off my Friday classes at Washington U. in St. Louis and hightailing it up to Chicago for the MacArthur Park concert tour with Peter Croce.  As only Peter could have managed, we had a private box just a few feet from the stage. Donna descended a stairway flanked by a full orchestra (unheard of at the time), sending chills through the audience with the grand, ponderous  opening bars of MacArthur Park.  When the full beat kicked in a thousand fans fell into total rapture, which was wonderful but odd too since we were in an elegant concert hall and not in one of the grand discos of the era. I’m guessing this was 1979 or ’80.

Here’s a bit of folklore about that infamous cake, so carelessly left out in the rain, bringing Donna to the breaking point, because it took so long to bake and she’d never be able to recreate it, the recipe lost for all time.

Evidently songwriter Jimmie Webb was broken hearted when his girlfriend dumped him. Hearing she was getting married al fresco in L.A.’s MacArthur Park (named for the heroic general) he secreted himself in a nearby gardening shed to observe the proceedings undetected. Yes, it rained that day, hard and unexpected. The rivulets of raindrops rippling down the shed window created the illusion of the cake melting. He may have been high when he wrote the song. (Sheer conjecture on my part.)

But no doubt his love was strong and true for “After all the loves of my life you’ll still be the one, and I’ll ask myself why.” Bummer, dude!

Let’s roll back to the brighter, more hopeful lyrics when looking back on that lost time.

“There will be another song for me, for I will sing it; there will be another dream for me, some one will bring it… I will have the things that I desire and my passion flow like rivers through the sky…”

And to my beloved cake eaters husband Steve Russell and Kevin and Gena Bone, enjoying slices of the not-rained upon cake in their gorgeous Southampton backyard, Donna left us these words as well:

“Believe in us, we were always meant to be. Me for you and you for me, ’till eternity.
Heaven knows I only want to love you, Heaven knows I never want to lose you.”

Indeed.

Click here for the recipe for MacArthur Park Cake.

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The little first-hand experience I gleaned was taking in the latest Alan Ayckbourn comedy followed by dinner at The Ivy; a posh (correct usage?) lunch at Damien Hirst’s Pharmacy followed by a brief stroll through some gardens around Kensington.  A look at some Lucien Freuds at the Tate and a peek into the Liberty of London shop constitute the entire itinerary so the answer to any “Have you ever been to (fill in the blank)” questions is an unqualified no.

What’s so irritating is I never get those casually tossed-off references intended to be so telling. When Lady Sybil Crawley runs off with Branson, why was it even more intolerable b/c they went to – gasp – Gretna Green? Just what is wrong with being from Essex? How to calibrate the rankings of Shropshire vs. Oxfordshire? Snudgebury vs. Upper Frotting? Portobellow or Pimlico?  What’s up with naff, toff, chav, codswallop, dekko, yob? Do nice people say these things?

So my home-schooling curriculum is starting in my Aga-less kitchen.

Recently my L.A. pals Roger and Michael, proprietors of the glamorously chic Grace Home, treated me to dinner at Soho House.  Our dessert of Eton Mess trumped the numerous celebrity sightings. When a plate of food is more exciting than proximity to Channing Tatum that’s saying something.

Berries blended with whipped cream and meringue is the general gist of things. I turned to online research to come up with this adaptation. But all the usual sites call for store-bought meringues, which certainly won’t do here at Spectactular Delicious.  Perhaps homemade meringue is a terrible faux pas, a Yank vulgarity that would cast shame on the tables of the Earl of Grantham or Lady Marchmain. Well tough titties Nanny Bloor, America’s a free country.

My handy-dandy Stem Gem proved invaluable yet again. You remember the Stem Gem — which I launched on NBC’s Today Show? Click here to have your own Stem Gem strawberry huller in your hot little hands in time for the weekend.

Enough already. Click here for the Spectacularly Delicious recipe for Eton Mess.
BONUS — SpecD’s essential Brit-Lit reading list:
Redeeming Features: A Memoir, Nicky Haslam
Snobs, Julian Fellowes
Nasty: My Family and Other Glamorous Varmints, Simon Doonan
Smut: Stories, Alan Bennet
Wait for Me!: Memoirs, Deborah Mitford, the Duchess of Devonshire (Nazi apologia alert)

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Relishes and chutneys are the welcome wagons of the pickle world — virtually anything is fair game if you can chop it into cubes or reduce to bits by grating or grinding.

Which brings us to asparagus, the conscientious pickler’s bête noir, especially when dealing with the robust stalks from local East Hampton patches. As each stalk needs its elegant tip there’s always heartbreak left on the cutting board in the form of the unused nether regions.  Hence these two recipes for “thrifty” asparagus pickles.

Here’s how this use-every-bit strategy works: The showy pickled asparagus tips feature a bracing tarragon tonic. The lower stalks, trimmed of fibrous skins and scales, get a spicier enlivenment with hot pepper flakes and garlic. Mingling in strips of carrot to the asparagus bottoms avoids an otherwise albino appearance.

This recipe was make three 1 1/2 c. jars of fancy asparagus pickles and two 1 1/2 c. jars of the thrifty ends.

Click here for the thrifty recipes for Elegant Tarragon Asparagus Pickles and Spicy Asparagus Pickles.

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Last weekend Gena Bone and I went to visit her daughter and my god daughter Carson, a junior at the University of Toronto. She’s doing quite well, thank you, majoring in archaeology and Buddhist studies, with a cute apartment and cuter boyfriend. What could be bad?

I found it reassuring that the friendly folks at Starfish always have an open stool at their oyster bar for Carson and keep an avuncular eye out for her as well. Starfish Oyster Bed has a Cheers kind of vibe — only with world class cuisine and a sophisticated clientele. No buzz-killing Cliff Clavens or Carlas in sight and yet they do seem to know everyone’s name.

While Carson was eager to show off the variety of the Toronto food scene I insisted on Starfish Oyster Bed for dinner two nights in a row.  It’s a comfort that godfathers can still make offers that can’t be refused.

Je ne regrette rien! Oh the oysters at Starfish! The finest from North America’s east and west coasts are offered in spectacular abundance. Amazingly tasty wonders from the far-flung shores of Ireland, Scotland and France lie in wait as well. Our master shucker Lawrence created ethereal tasting flights for us. Grand plates composed of contrasting varieties were set before us while Lawrence gently pointed out the origins and finer distinctions of each. Starting with the finest specimens of good old Wellfleets, we moved on to Lilliputian Olympias from British Columbia and then crossed the pond, working our way through elegant Belons and some intensely flavored behemoths from the western shores of Scotland and Ireland. As we’d travel the world on the platter set before us Lawrence would oh-so-casually offer us another glistening half-shell of this and that, insisting we taste some obscure and rare personal favorite, perhaps with a grind of black pepper or gently browned in garlic butter and Panko.

Heaven.

And what of that charming champion shucker / Starfish proprietor Patrick McMurray? He of the uncontested world record of 38 oysters shucked in one minute, beating his previous record of 32?

Skills of his magnitude don’t happen by accident. Of course years of practice and an unwavering, passionate obsession are required but the inside skinny is McMurray has invented innovative tools like this Shuckin’ Puck (only a Canadian…) and pistol grip long-bladed oyster knife.

The extra-strong tip and ergonomic grip on the McMurry makes it easy to pop the top shell. Sharpened on both sides, long blade makes a quick scrape along both top and bottom shells to sever the abductor muscles, ensuring they slip out effortlessly when tipped into waiting lips. The Shuckin’ Puck provides a non-skid base (safety first kids!) securing the bi-valve horizontally, thereby preserving the maximal amount of delicious oyster liquor. Buy yours here.

The inspiration for these Deviled Oysters is a small variation one of those aforementioned bonus treats, some of Lawrence’s hotties-on-the-half-shell doused in garlic butter, Panko topped and toasted for a crunchy counterpoint to the salty softness beneath. I simply swapped out the garlic with a big hit of Tabasco, with excellent results I might add.

Back home in East Hampton we immediately set off on a quest for the finest and freshest.  A dozen Long Island North Forks from Sag Harbor’s Dock House quickly turned into two dozen as soon as tasted one in the shop. Over at Stuarts in Amagansett we scooped up another dozen Montauk freshies brought in just that morning. The North Forks had deeper shells and a brinier flavor; the Montauks were shallower of shell and more delicate of taste. Lesson learned: variety is not only the spice of life, it’s the lifeblood of a good ol’ oyster feast.

After our fill of simple ice cold oysters on the half shell, we moved onto a hot preparation.

It couldn’t be simpler — click here for the recipe for Deviled Oysters from East Hampton, Montauk and Long Island’s North Fork.

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These first two photos are my Mont Blancs; the third is Ms. Monaghan’s dazzler (paired with another of her glorious confections).  Not bad, right?

But it was Tilda Swinton’s star turn in I Am Love that spurred me into action. In the film Ms. Tilton’s seemingly proper Milanese MILF hides a scandalous secret.  Formal family meals and fanciful foods also play pivotal roles. An impeccable Mont Blanc is the crowning glory of an otherwise deeply unpleasant birthday celebration rife with sibbling squabbles and bitter resentments over the disbursement of the family’s vast fortune.

Oh the subtle symbolism, the dark irony. Mont Blanc — patrician artifice composed of the most common and humble of peasant ingredients. And it all comes tumbling down when you disturb the foundations.

You can catch a quick glimpse of gramps blowing out his birthday candle on the Mont Blanc in this trailer for I Am Love.

So just what is this Mont Blanc you ask? A mountain of spaghetti-shaped strands of chestnut purée topped with an Alpine glacier of whipped cream, giving it its eponymous name.

In its purest Escoffier recipe the chestnuts for Mont Blanc rely solely on their distinctive flavor. But subtlety isn’t a SpecD hallmark, so this take on the classic includes a nice bit of butter and a shot of Apple Jack for good measure. Adding butter to anything never requires explanation; the Apple Jack is my fanciful riff on the Alpine legend of William Tell and his skillful cross-bow splitting the apple atop his son’s head.

A good strong ricer is essential for creating the elegant strands. My German-made stainless steel Kartoffelpresse is top of the line with the unique feature of extrusion holes on all sides. This MIU Ricer from France is a good investment; avoid less expensive models which will only disappoint.

The chestnut strands become longer and more pliant with each pressing through the ricer. Sweetened whipped cream creates the mountain shape. The resulting confection is served as a plate of fluffy cream laced with the soigné flavor of chestnuts.

When all said and done, Mont Blanc isn’t as difficult as one might think.

Click here for the recipe for Mont Blanc.

And yet, a quick scan of Google images shows that not everyone has the talent to create a Gail Monaghan / Tilda Swinton worthy dessert.

Here Tilda seems alarmed at some of these unusual variations — I just find them amusing, especially the kind fo tacky Mont Blanc ring. That piece of jewelry is definitely not from the I Am Love costume department.

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Astute readers will notice that this recipe for Mediterranean Marinated Mushrooms was briefly posted a couple of weeks ago. Turns out this is not a good candidate for shelf-stable canning. Thankfully Eugenia Bone, author of Well Preserved and Mycophilia, hence an expert on the topic twice over, helps me from offering canning recipes that have potentially unpleasant (or worse) results. Sean Timberlake over at Punk Domestic also has a Spidey Sense of sketchy recipes… gracia Señor Sean.

Still a few jars of savory mushrooms are nice to have on hand in the the safe confines of your refrigerator, but don’t risk canning them with a boiling water bath as I had previously instructed.

This recipe for Mediterranean Marinated Mushrooms will arm you with an delicious enhancer for salad and toppings for grilled this and that, such as bruschetta. It’s all rather straight forward: gather a mélange of flavorful mushrooms, sauté with the “usual suspects” of Mediterranean kitchen alchemy.

Covered in oil and stored in the fridge, they’ll hold for a few weeks so make small batches.

I used a mix of shiitakes, cremini and oyster mushrooms but feel free to go farther afield with whatever tasty fungi is available. Even our friend the little white button mushroom can be invited to this party.

The herbs and wine and vinegar intertwine the different flavors of the mushrooms for a tasty common denominator. If you’re flush with the deluxe flavors of the rarer and more expensive matsutakes, chantertelles, porcini and the like you’re better off giving them a spotlight in another dish. Morels, while a bit dear, are nice for this Marinated Mushroom recipe becacuse the organic geomic geogeometry of their honeycombed caps will add visual excitement. Cut into thin strips, a handful of these can go a long way in sprucing up the overall mix.

Allow me to share Gena’s thoughts on canning mushrooms:

“Sweetheart, I did read the recipe [my original post] the other day, and yes, it sounds iffy to me. I have yet to find a lab-tested canned marinated mushroom recipe. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist at some University extension office somewhere, but I haven’t seen one yet. There are plenty of water bath canned mushroom recipes out there, especially since the Europeans have a tradition of water-bath canning mushrooms, and they are probably safe, but there is no proof they are safe. But the problem with anecdotal–meaning European–recipes is they tend to be locked into a region. For example, Jacques Pepin’s mother used to water bath can snails she collected in their hometown. Maybe the vinegar she used was some super powerful homemade stuff, or maybe the species of snail had a really low pH? You see? That’s the problem. It would be folly to apply her technique to the snails we gather in East Hampton.

“BTW, wild mushrooms are particularly prone to botulism so must be refrigerated or press canned. You can definitely put the mushrooms up in the fridge. While technically they only hold for ten days, mine hold for a month or more if you follow this advice:  To store, spoon the mushrooms into sterilized pint jars (jars that have been boiled in water for 10 minutes). Be sure the mushrooms are covered with oil (you might have to add more oil). To remove the mushrooms, remove the oil from the top of the jar, take out the amount of mushrooms you need, then re-cover with oil and return to the fridge. Do not let more of the mushrooms come to room temperature than you need at a given time or spoilers could be introduced into your jar.”

RECIPE FOR MARINATED MUSHROOMS – click here

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VANILLA PEAR JAM MADE WITH THE BALL FRESHTECH JAM AND JELLY MAKER

2 lbs. fresh ripe pears (enough to yield 2 2/3 c. of crushed fruit)
1 vanilla bean
1/8 teaspoon real vanilla extract
3 tablespoons Bell Classic Pectin
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon butter
3 1/3 c. sugar

Wash, peel, core and chop the pears into ¼” pieces. Crush the cut-up pear with a potato masher to make a juicy, chucky slush. Measure out exactly 2 2/3 cups.

Using a small sharp knife, split the vanilla bean open and scrape out the small dark seeds. The seeds will go into the jam to flavor it. You can nestle the remaining vanilla bean pod in the bottom of your sugar bin to impart a lovely flavor.

Follow manufacturer’s instructions to wash the FreshTECH before the first use (easy, just soap and water). Place the FreshTECH jam maker on the counter. Fit the stirring paddle into the bottom of the pan.  Plug it in.

Sprinkle 3 T. of powdered pectin over bottom of cooking pot. Add crushed pears evenly over pectin, along with vanilla seeds, 1/8 t. of real vanilla extract, lemon juice and butter. (The bit of butter greatly reduces the amount of foam that can accumulate on top of the cooked jam).

On the front of the FreshTECH machine press the “JAM” button. The digital display timer will start the countdown of the total cooking time, 21 minutes in all. Press “ENTER” to start the machine.

The paddle will start turning, mixing the pectin with the fruit, while the cooking pot quickly heats the contents so that after four minutes the fruit will be simmering. The FreshTECH emits four short beeps indicating that it is time to add sugar. With the paddle stirrer still rotating, pour in the measured sugar in an even stream so the sugar is distributed evening in the cooking fruit. Cover the cooking pot with the glass lid.

The FreshTECH will continue to automatically stir the ingredients while the jam cooks. After 17 more minutes the appliance will emit another series of beeps indicating the jam is done. The glass lid allows you to observe that the jam has been cooking at a constant low boil for the final few minutes. The fruit and sugar mixture must come to a boil for a few minutes to activate the pectin’s power to thicken the jam.
Press “CANCEL” and unplug the appliance. Unplug the machine. Remove the glass lid (careful of released steam). Use a pot holder to lift out the stirring paddle. Scrape off any tiny vanilla beans sticking to the paddle back into the jam. Skim off and discard any accumulated foam.

Ladle into clean jars, cover and let cool. Ball makes white plastic one-piece jar lids which are great for refrigerator storage, much easier than fiddling with the traditional two-piece lids. Once cool store in the refrigerator and consume within one month.

For long term storage ladle the hot jam into sterilized jars top to within 1/4” of the top of jar. Wipe the rims of the jars with a clean wet dish towel. Cover the jars with sterilized lids and tighten the lids with the supplied screw-on bands.

Put the filled, sealed jars into the pot of boiling water, make sure every jar is covered with at least 1” of boiling water. Boil the jars for 10 minutes. Remove and let cool. As the jam cools you will hear a series of pops – this means a vacuum seal has been achieved, creating an environment that will prevent bacterial growth.

Makes 5 half-pint jars.

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Here is the recipe for Strawberry Lemon Marmalade made with the Ball FreshTECH. You can also do it in the regular, stove -top fashion.  Follow a basic strawberry jam recipe (using the correct ratios of sugar and fruit; use 1 lemon for every four 1/2 pints of marmalade). Add the boiled lemon rind strips after strawberries, sugar and pectin have come to the final hard boil.

STRAWBERRY LEMON MARMALADE
(Recipe for Ball FreshTECH countertop jam and jelly maker)

2 2/3 crushed strawberries. If local fresh strawberries are not in season, use frozen. Avoid the monsters with no flavor found year ’round in the grocery store
1 lemon
3 T. powdered pectin (Ball brand is good)
3 1/3 c. sugar
1/2 t. butter

Put the pectin in the bottom of the FreshTECH cooker. Add the fruit and butter and press the start button. The paddle at the bottom will continuously stir the fruit while the vessel heats it. The digital time counter beep after four minutes and miraculously the fruit an pectin will be boiling perfect.

With the paddle still turning, pour in the sugar in a slow even stream so it mixes in as you pour. Doesn’t need to be completely dissolved as you go, but better to add it gently rather than just dumping it in.

Bring a small pot of water to a boil on the stove top. Slice the lemon in half from end to end, then trim off the end points. Use a spoon (or your fingers) to pull out all the pulp. (Save the pulp and juice for some other dish, it’s not needed here.)

Cut the rind into thin strips. Boil for five minutes ’til very soft, drain well.

Cover with the glass lid. After 15 minutes or so the appliance will beep again. While the paddles are still turning put in the lemon rinds. Let it stir them in (30 seconds will do the trick).

Press the stop button.

Ladle the marmalade into sterilized 1/2 pint jars. Follow standard procedures to put up the marmalade — a boiling water bath if you want to make it shelf stable, or store in the fridge if you’re going to be eating it soon.

Makes five 1/2 pint jars.

THE STORY OF THE FRESHTECH JAM AND JELLY MAKER:

A few weeks ago the Ball canning folks came to the Good Housekeeping Research Institute to demonstrate their new FreshTECH jam and jelly maker.  We’ve just received a brand new machine to try out.  It’s hitting store shelves this spring so it’s kind of cool to be getting an advance try. I imagine it’s the same feeling editors at Popular Mechanics get when NASA sends them a prototype of some new thing or another.

Good news: Ball’s new counter top cooker turned out this excellent Strawberry Lemon Marmalade quickly, neatly and easily.

Mind you with our “Springy Banks Cannery” and “Georgica Bend” preserves, plus all the years of jamming and canning before SpecD burst onto the World Wide Web, we’ve put up countless hundreds of jars of jam, jelly, marmalade, fruit conserves and preserves. So was it wrong to wonder just how much this new-fangled device could improve upon my time-tested techniques?

Pushing clouds of skepticism to the outer margins of my brain I took this baby for an inaugural test drive with an open and unbiased mind.

More good news: It’s been a virtually unqualified*  success. I think it’ll get a lot more people to start making their own jam. Please note, while this machine was sent gratis, this is not a paid endorsement.

(That said, when shopping for kitchenware support  SpecD by using the links on this site to shop Amazon, Williams Sonoma, Sur la Table and Chefs.)  

So, about the FreshTECH. The first thing to know is that it only works with powdered pectin (which, by the way, Ball has corned the market on). This is fine because powdered pectin is as easily obtained as liquid (Certo being the brand leader there). The difference is with powdered, fruit and pectin are brought to the boil first, then the sugar is added. With liquid it’s the other way around: fruit and sugar boil first, and only then do you add the pectin.  These are immutable laws of science.

The machine makes things easy by relieving you of the requisite constant stirring with a paddle that stirs throughout the process. Plus it takes the guesswork out of the timing. Push a button, listen for the beeps, do as it says and you’ll get what you want.

It comes with a recipe booklet (and their are more recipes and inspirations on their website) so I followed their directions for Lemony Strawberry Jam. But instead of grating lemon rind into the cooker, I pre-boiled slices of lemon rind on the stove and added them at the end to make a jam/marmalade hybrid.   temperature while a paddle at the base of the cooking pan continuously stirs to prevent scorching. It works in a matter of minutes so you’re not going to want to wander out of earshot. A beeper tells you when to add the sugar, Again, it heats and stirs and beeps when the jam is ready.

Now just because it makes the cooking easy that doesn’t mean you can slack off on accurate measures. The instructions that come with the machine do provide all the info you need to ensure proper fruit-sugar-pectin ratios.

*My one little reservation about the FreshTECH:  I wish it had a bigger capacity. The FreshTECH is designed to handle about four 8 oz. jars at a time. In general, most mainstream recipes for jams and jellies make twice this amount.  The directions say not to try making double batches, which makes sense given the size of the vessel and the adjustments in cooking time that would have to be accounted for.

Perhaps if the FreshTECH takes off they’ll start making bigger sizes.  Look how Presto’s Fry Daddy begat the Fry Daddy Jr., who in turn sired the Fry Baby which in some generational inversion brought us the Fry Granpappy.  Or think of all the wonderful things Mr. Foreman had done with his grill.

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Today it seems that never was a more enthralling ocean liner sinking than the maiden voyage of the Titanic a century ago. Sure, the fabulous Oscar-winning film and its impossible-to-erase-from-memory theme song fanned the flames of Titanic-mania but let's give her her due — the sad fate of that White Star sinker has never ceased to fascinate.

But that's not to say it's the only tragedy at sea that captured the world's imagination.  

In 1972 another enthralling sinking of unimaginable horror eclipsed all previous disasters. I speak of course of the Poseidon Adventure.

When this film came out, what cared we of the dusty names of the past? Astors, Guggenheims and Strausses, their faces forgotten and fates not yet reenacted on the silver screen. A sedentary iceberg had nothing on the enormous wall of water that flipped the Poseidon over like a bathtub toy. 

On that fateful New Year's Eve, the Poseidon's Grand Ball Room turned topsy-turvey leaving Shelly Winters! Earnest Borgnine! Red Buttons! Stella Stevens! Roddy McDowell! Leslie Neilson and Pamela Sue Martin!! to climb — and swim — their way to salvation.

Who can forget the literal turn for the worse the revelry on the Poseidon took that night? The passengers, furniture and festive foods hailed down from the ballroom floor turned ceiling.

For reasons best left unexplored, that memory instigated this recipe for Lobster Bisque with appropriately kitschy lobster croutons.

The spectacularly delicious results are so wonderful that a mere demi-tasse serving will send guests into rapture.  Young Raffi McCarroll-Swan,shown here at a recent celebration of another famous-disaster-with-a-happy-ending, Easter, can attest to that!

So as night falls on the centennial of the Titanic's great plunge, let's recall a brighter hope and promise — There's Got to Be a Morning After. 

Click here for the recipe for Classic Lobster Bisque.

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