SpeechContacts Human Communication Blog

Help Your Child Talk: Telling Stories Your Toddler Will Love

2011-09-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: this week's extract from the SpeechContacts Kindle and your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

This week, there's more about making up stories for your child. It's so easy. Enjoy watching as your child uses his own creativity to join in with your storytelling.

One of the great things about toddlers is they just love repetition. So use the same words and sentences in your story: the more you repeat, the more he'll love it.

Here's a story designed to encourage short phrases. It's built around the phrases "teddy eats" and "eats banana/cake/etc". When you make up similar stories, just follow these rules:

Keep the phrases short.
Repeat the same words many times.
Tell the story often.

Hungry Teddy

Teddy is hungry. Mummy gives him a banana.

Teddy eats the banana. Teddy is still hungry.

Mummy gives him a cake. Teddy eats the cake. But Teddy is still hungry.

Mummy gives him a biscuit. Teddy eats the biscuit. But Teddy is still hungry....

And so on ... Then make a big finish:

Teddy is full right up and he isn't hungry any more.

When you make up your stories about everyday objects, why not take photos of the objects, print them out and stick them in a book. Hey presto, your child has his very own story book. Or you can download pictures like the ones here, from dreamstime.com

Help Your Child Talk: From First Words to Sentences

2011-09-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: this week's extract from the SpeechContacts Kindle and your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

This week's extract highlights some of the words and phrases you're likely to hear your child use when he's 1 - 3 years old. He's learning fast during these months. Remember that he has to hear your speech repeated many times before he uses any of these words or phrases himself.

Listening comes before speaking

The first words your child uses are labels for things. “Cup” “shoes” and “teddy” are simple labels called nouns and they represent the things he finds familiar.

During his second year, he uses quite a collection of single nouns, until by his second birthday he has as many as two hundred words in his vocabulary.

First phrases

Single words are not the end of the story. We don't usually talk in single words. We use sentences. After a few months of naming things, your child moves on to putting 2 words together.

A 1 year old often uses groups of words, such as “up we go” or “here it is”. These, though useful, are not true 2 or 3 word phrases, because he’s learned them as though they were one word.

They only have one meaning. He uses them appropriately in one context, but doesn’t yet split the words up and use them in other phrases.

His big step forward comes when he start to say, “Teddy cup”, “Mummy cup”, “Daddy cup”; or tries “hat on”, “coat on”, and “shoes on”. These short phrases of only 2 words together, are first steps towards proper sentences.But they don't have a verb.

Sentences

Action words, or verbs, are at the heart of the sentences we use as adults. Every complete sentence contains a verb. As your child begins to use action words he takes a giant stride into talking.

He starts with the actions that he hears you say most often, such as “cry”, 'eat', “sleep”. He combines these with his single word labels to produce miniature sentences. “Dolly sleep”, “eat biki” and “baby cry” are typical 2-word combinations at this stage.

Encourage his 2 word phrases by using them yourself. Remember that modelling good patterns for him helps him to learn more quickly.

You can use a few words in many 2-word phrases. For example, “eat” can be used with a huge variety of other words in such phrases as “eat dinner”, “teddy eat”, “doggy eat”, “eat cake” and so on.

In the same way, you could build a whole series of 2 word phrases around a colour or a size. “Big car”, “big boy”, “big dog”, “red hat”, “red boots”.

If you like this, you may want to read the rest of this Kindle book. Download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £2.09 (new reduced price - September only)

Ten Tips for Play To Help Your Child Talk

2011-08-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: this week's extract from the SpeechContacts Kindle and your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Here are ten tips for playing with your child, helping him learn to talk through play.

Observe your child: watch what he does and you'll see how much he learns from every toy.
Provide him with related items: spoons and plates, toothpaste and toothbrush, garage and cars. He'll learn to put them together, beginning to find out how the world works.
Play alongside him, so the two of you are having fun doing the things he wants to do.
Give teddy bear tea parties with him as he practises 'pretend' play.
Help to bath teddy and your toddler will soon learn the words for body parts.
Dress a doll in her clothes, undress her and put her to bed, as you and your child name all her clothes and even tell her a bedtime story.
Play with a toy telephone together, pretending to talk to granny. Or do it for real!
Consider providing a doll’s house. Not cheap, but worth every penny for the hours of pretend play.
Look at picture books together. The same ones, over and over, help him learn the words.
Be patient and let him go at his own pace. It's not a race. Give him opportunities and he'll learn unbelievably fast.

If you like this, you may want to read the rest of this Kindle book. Download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £2.09

Two More Games To Help Your Child With Her First Words

2011-08-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

Welcome to two more games to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: this week's extract from the SpeechContacts Kindle and your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Here are two more easy activities for you to enjoy with your toddler, designed to encourage him to use his new words.

Teddy's bath time

Coolect together Teddy, a toy/baby bath or washing-up bowl, plus pretend soap, sponge, towel, toothbrush and toothpaste.

Geddy a pretend bath, naming each part of his body. Say “wash Teddy's nose”, “wash Teddy's mouth”, “wash Teddy's ears”, and carry out the action, with your child joining in.

Then try “dry Teddy's nose”, “dry Teddy's mouth”, “dry Teddy's ears”. As the game continues, leave a longer and longer gap before the name of the body part. Say “wash Teddy's ...” and see if your child will fill in the next word. If not, just say the word yourself.

In the bag

Make a simple cloth bag if you can sew, or ask a grandparent to make one for you: they'll be thrilled to help. Avoid using plastic bags, because of the danger of suffocation.

Put a few toys in the bag, and then sit facing your child with the bag in your hand. Say, “What's in the bag today?” and pull out the first toy, showing great excitiment, naming it and giving it to your child.

Continue until all the toys are out, then help him to put them back in one at a time, saying to him, “in the bag,” “car in the bag,” “dolly in the bag,” and so on.

Let him join in with you, but don’t worry if he doesn’t say the words himself at first.

He soon will.

If you want to read the rest of this Kindle book, download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73)

Six Ways to Help Your Child Talk: Activities to Encourage Your Child's First Words

2011-08-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Six Ways to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: this week's extract and your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Speech: activities for babies

Play with sounds with your baby. When he babbles, saying “bababa'” or “gaga”, he’s enjoying the sounds he’ll use later in his speech. Repeat them back to him. Try out a whole range of speech sounds with him, and watch him enjoy it.

Speech: baby activities: labels

Repeat the names of things, many times. He needs to hear the word “drink” dozens of times before he recognises it as the symbol or label for the stuff he drinks. Remember, groups of sounds are not words until they have meaning, so supply him with the words alongside babble play.

Speech: baby activities: puzzles

Play with a heavy wooden puzzle, where each piece is a picture of an object, and lifts out of a board. When you pull out a piece, say the name. Let your child pull out another one, and say the word with him.

Speech: baby activities: books

Look at picture books together. Choose some that have a single object on each page. Collect real objects to match the pictures and keep them in a box. As you turn to each picture, help him search through the box for the matching object. Say each word clearly.

Speech: baby activities: word games

Use daily activities to teach new words. At bath time, say the name of each part of your child's body as you wash it. At mealtimes, name the cutlery and crockery. Don’t ask him to repeat your words, and don't say “Say shoe,” but when he makes sounds that are a bit like an appropriate word, say the word back to him, in the adult version. His sounds will soon become that real word.

Speech: baby activities: my book

Make a scrapbook of things your child knows. Include photos of family members and pets. Put in pictures from magazines, of cups, toys and clothes that look like ones he knows well. Put his photo on the outside and write his name on it.

Sit down often to look at the book. Talk in simple sentences about each picture. Make sure you use the name of the object often.

Say, “Look, there’s Jane. She’s got a hat on.” Your child will love his very own book, all about himself. He’ll soon start saying the names.

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First Words: Help Your Child To Talk

2011-08-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

Your baby's learned to pay attention and to listen. He's beginning to understand you when you talk to him and during his second year, at some point, he'll start to use words himself.

In this extract from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk, we look at how he arrives at those very first words.

Speech: infants

Your baby depends on you to keep him alive, warm and comfortable. His first cries are the only way he can communicate with you, and he cries with a sound that you just can’t ignore. You’re right in your instincts to use his cries as a signal that you need to look after him.

Doctors now know that the stress of prolonged crying encourages the production of the chemical cortisol, as Penelope Leach points out in her book “The Essential First Year – What Babies Need Parents to Know”. It’s true that humans all need cortisol, to help reduce inflammation and encourage the metabolism of some foods, too much in the brain can slow development.

It doesn’t hurt your baby to cry a little: all babies cry sometimes, but remember that he is communicating with you in the only way he can, and be responsive.

When you feel you need to do something for him, you’re right. That’s what he’s telling you with his cries.

In the early days and weeks, you might notice he uses slightly different cries for a variety of purposes. He may have a hungry cry, for example, that you notice is different from the cry he uses when he’s uncomfortable. By 3 months, he’ll know he can use his voice to tell you when he’s pleased or unhappy; excited or tired, and from now on, you’ll hear plenty of coos, gurgles and shouts.

Speech: listening skills

Remember that second key: listening. He’s been listening all the time: to the things around; to human voices and, most importantly, to your voice. He’s heard your intonation patterns: the tune of your speech as your voice rises and falls. He’s heard your voice rise in a question, get louder when you’re annoyed, become low and soft when you play baby games with him.

Speech: practice

Meanwhile, he enjoys his own noises. “Ga ga” he says, his tongue falling naturally into that position. He likes it, repeats it and finds other sounds that are fun. Soon he starts babbling and he finds that you join in, encouraging all the noises, repeating strings of nonsense back to him.

Between 6 months and 1 year, he plays often with babbling noises, trying out all the sounds of speech. He doesn’t stick to his native language, but includes sounds he’ll never need to use. Over time, his babbling begins to sound more and more like your speech, even though there are no real words there yet.

His strings of sounds get longer and he joins them together until he produces something that seems just like the intonation patterns of speech. At this point, parents sometimes feel their baby is trying to talk. He is playing with sounds, getting ready to launch himself into speech, and it’s not until he can sequence his sounds with a meaningful word that real speech begins.

Speech: feedback

At some point during this sound play, he hits on a combination of sounds that resemble a word.

“Da,” he says as his father picks him up, “Da-da-da.”

Delighted, his father smiles, cuddles him and repeats the word. What a reward. He tries that again. Every time he makes that combination of sounds, at the right time, you’ll celebrate, repeat it and reinforce it. As his accuracy improves, he gets it right every time, encouraged by your excited feedback. There it is – “daddy”: his first word.

Your child’s first word may be something different. Maybe he says “Mama” first.

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, just download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Help Your Child Talk; Boxes, Bricks and Play

2011-07-29T04:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the latest extract from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

In recent weeks, we've been looking at the real importance of play for learning to talk. Play, after all, is the thing that toddlers do best. Learning to pretend in his play is one of your child's ways of understanding symbols, getting ready for the highly complex way he'll be using words and grammar to express his meaning before long.

Here's one of my favourite toys for helping your child to talk.

Play: stages

Remember that learning to symbolise is a sophisticated skill. Your child needs to go through the full sequence of development, in the right order, to learn about symbols. He needs to see, feel, hear, touch and taste real objects, finding out what they can do, before he plays with miniature people, houses and cars.

He puts a few objects together in play, finding out that they're still there even when he can't see them and seeing how they relate to each other. Then he gradually advances to play sequences, where he can carry out whole teddy tea parties or pretend bath times.

He can't skip from the first exploratory stage to complicated play sequences, no matter how many times you show him, until he's ready.

His nervous system develops gradually. Remember that the pathways between the neurons in his brain are still developing fast in his first three years. He needs to repeat activities many times. At last the pathway becomes permanent through constant use, just like the path a cat wears in the garden from the door to her favourite sleeping quarters.

Play: your role

While your child investigates and experiments, your task is to encourage his play and offer him opportunities to develop to the next stage. Let him take his time. Think of yourself as a facilitator or helper, offering opportunities not lessons, and be guided by the things he enjoys. Be prepared to observe him, provide what he needs and play with him.

Join in with him. Give him opportunities to extend his play. Recognise that he’s constantly learning. As he pours water into a jar, he learns about volume, fluids and size. Use the words “water”, “pour” and “big” or “small” as you play with him.

When he starts to play with two objects together, at around a year old, you can help by offering boxes to put things in and bricks to build up. Let him bang his spoon on the (plastic) plate and rattle it in the cup. You can clean up the mess later.

Enjoy doll's tea parties together, bath teddy and dress him before putting him to bed. Build up play sequences. Introduce smaller toys and less obvious representations of the real thing, such as Duplo characters.

Match toys to pictures in books, saying 'Look, shoes like yours,' pointing at the picture, then at your child's shoes.

Play activities: Teddy's tea party

Spend time setting out a tea table. If you can get hold of a table and chairs that are a suitable size for Teddy to sit on, they’re ideal. Otherwise, use the family dining table, or a child - sized table. Include places for Teddy along with one or two other toys. Set the table with plates, spoons, cups, saucers, teapots, milk jugs and play food if you have it, and sit Teddy and his friends on their chairs.

Let your child play happily with the tea things, and join in with him. Offer Teddy a drink, and suggest your child offers a drink to another toy, or some pretend food. Use simple language, such as “Teddy's hungry”, “Teddy's drinking”, “give Teddy a biscuit”.

Try making a pretend cup of tea by “pouring” from the teapot and milk jug into the cups, and stirring with a spoon. As he grows, your child will join with longer sequences.

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, just download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Help Your Child Talk by Playing and Pretending

2011-07-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

Today, we've reached the 20th extract from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

This week's extract shows how your baby begins to develop his understanding of 'pretending'. This is important, as we saw last week, because it leads him to discover how to use symbols. Language, both spoken and written, is a complex system of symbols.

Play:infants
Play begins as your baby looks closely at his toys during his first year. He puts things in his mouth, turns them over, pokes them and shakes them. Rattles, soft toys, a mother's earrings: they all come in for the 'see it, feel it, suck it' treatment as he finds out what these strange things are, and what they can do.

He needs time to understand how each object looks, sounds, tastes, smells and feels before he moves on to the next stage. Throughout his first year, your baby’s play revolves around his five senses and real objects. Towards the end of the year, he uses real objects for their intended purpose. He drinks from his cup and maybe uses a hairbrush on his own hair.

Play: experiment
Once he becomes familiar with objects, he notices that some have a relationship to others. He puts a spoon in and out of a cup and makes stirring movements. He tries to put other objects in the cup, and finds that some things fit while others, such as bricks, may not fit so well in a cup, but sit nicely on top of each other. He explores constantly, finding out more about the properties of everything around him.

Soon he starts “pretending”, using toys as though they are the real thing. He pretends to drink from a toy cup, or brushes his own hair with a doll’s size brush. At first, he does these pretend actions to himself, but then he begins to offer a “drink” to teddy or brushes dolly's hair.

Teddy is like a real person to him now. He might kiss him and wash him. He reproduces aspects of his own life through his play with a teddy or a doll. Let him take teddy everywhere, exploring the world of make believe and expanding his understanding of language.

Come back next week to find out how you can enjoy this exciting stage with your toddler, and help him learn to talk at the same time.

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, just download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Help Your Child Talk: Language and Pretend Play

2011-07-15T02:19:00.000-07:00

Here's extract 19 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Language and pretend play

Language is a system of symbols; a mix of sounds, gestures and marks that we put together according to commonly agreed sets of rules, and that we use to encode and decode information.

You use language labels to describe activities because it helps you to think about them in an organised way. You label things to make sense of life. It takes your child a long time to learn to talk, because language is one of the highest level activities he learns.

Your child gradually learns that language is useful, because it helps him get what he needs, ask for things he wants, complain when he can't have what he wants, tell you when something hurts, and where it hurts. Later, he'll use language to exchange more complex information, even to tell jokes.

Your child spends much of his time playing.

Play is what he does. He enjoys it. He likes finding out new things, discovering how things move, what they feel like, how they smell and sound. The more he enjoys his activities, the better he learns.

Through his play,from investigating by putting objects in his mouth, through to pretending to give his teddy a drink, he learns the role that toys, pictures, gestures and words have in helping him communicate.

Play: representation
When your toddler offers you a cup of pretend tea from a miniature cup, and you pretend to drink it, nobody’s fooled. He knows as well as you do there is no 'real' tea in the cup. What's more, he knows you know.

The toy cup represents a real cup of tea, and the situation represents a real-life action he knows well. It represents, or symbolises, one person giving a cup of tea to another.

A picture of a cup, the word 'cup' and a hand sign for 'cup' are all symbols that stands for a real cup, just as his toy cup does.

Your baby and toddler gradually, over many months, learns to develop his understanding of symbols. He begins with real objects. He uses his five senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, to learn everything he can about these.

Next, he recognises the relationship between a toy and the real thing, before he learns how a picture or a physical sign, such as waving bye-bye, can represent an object or action.

Finally, he learns the words: the labels that also symbolise the real object. When he reaches school age, he moves on to recognising letters and numbers, and how they symbolise less concrete, more abstract ideas. Pretend play is part of the process.

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, just BUY NOW. Download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Help Your Child Talk: Attention, Listening and Understanding Checklists

2011-07-08T02:35:00.000-07:00

Here's extract 18 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

If you'd like to get in touch, maybe with a question on babies, toddlers and language development, or any communication topic, feel free to email me through the Contact Me tab at the top of the blog. Questions you ask may find their way (anonymously) into the new Frequently Asked Questions page. find it by clicking the tap at the top of the page.

This week is a bit of a recap of some of the things we've looked at over the past few weeks. Here's a very brief set of simple checklists of things to remember with your baby and toddler, covering the first three keys to language skill: attention, listening and understanding.

Attention skills: babies

Make eye contact.
Speak gently.
Notice which sense your baby is using.
Play peep-bo and sing nursery rhymes.
Limit the number of toys around him.
Let him sleep and be quiet.

Attention skills: toddlers

Alternate quiet times with activity.
Limit TV and encourage his own activities.
Watch for overstimulation and let him relax quietly.
Call his name and wait for him to look at you.
Get down to his level so he can see you.
Keep calm when he gets frustrated.
Consider signing with him.
Tell bedtime stories.
Sing nursery rhymes.

Listening: babies

Babble and play cooing games, encouraging your baby to enjoy babbling.
Say his name or touch his hand to gain his attention.
Make eye contact and smile at your baby when you talk.
Turn off the TV and radio for a time every day while you play.
Sing nursery rhymes together.

Listening: toddlers

Keep to a routine, with quiet times for stories, games and puzzles
Include times for noisy play and letting off steam.
Tidy his toys occasionally so he attends to one thing at a time.
Smile when your child talks to you.
Turn off the TV and radio for a time every day while you play.
Make a quiet corner with somewhere to sit and draw, colour or look at books.

Understanding

Repeat simple words in many different contexts.
Broaden your toddler's understanding of the world by taking him out to different places.
Talk to him about the things he sees.
Keep the language you use simple: one or two words in his first year.
Emphasise important “key” words in a sentence.
Place a new word at the end of a sentence.

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2011-07-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

Here's extract 17 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Here are two more games to play with your child, to help him understand language. These are both sorting games. They help him explore the relationship between different objects, their similarities adn differences. They also your child move from recognising real objects and toys to pictures, an important step in learning about symbols. Understanding symbols underpins his languge skills, and also, later, his ability to learn to read.

Understanding activities: sorting

Help him sort things into boxes. Collect a wide range of toys and pictures. Make sure you include things that look different but have the same name. Include a red sock, a short sock, a long sock, a picture of a sock and a dirty sock, to go in one box, for example. Different kinds of pencils, or brushes, or books will go in the other boxes.

Sort them into the boxes with him, using the objects’ names and discussing how they are the same and how they are different. Point out that all the socks have a toe and a heel, but that one sock is longer, or cleaner, or a different colour than the other one.

Understanding activities: post box

When you’ve played many times with real objects or small toys, start to introduce pictures for some of your games. Here’s a game to boost his understanding of different objects and their word labels.

Many words fit into pairs of opposites. “Hot” is the opposite of “cold” and “high” is the opposite of “low”. Learning to recognise the contrasts between these characteristics helps your child establish important ideas such as size, shape, number and volume.

This simple sorting game helps him learn about 'big' and 'small', 'fat' and 'thin', 'high' and 'low'.

Make two post boxes out of old cardboard boxes by cutting holes in the front.

Collect pictures that show opposites, using the concepts of size and height. Make sure you have several pictures of each kind of item and that the big items are very clearly much bigger than the small ones. Big things should fill the whole page, while small things should sit right in the middle with plenty of plain space around them.

Select two pictures, for example, a big face and a small face. Play a posting game, by putting the big face in one box and the small face in the other.

Move on to pictures of fat things and thin things, open things and closed things, and play the game again.

Avoid introducing more than one concept at a time: spend several sessions on big and small, and then wait a while before moving on to fat and thin.

Later, you can begin to introduce the idea of some big things being even bigger than other big things. Point things out in the street and keep the conversation going.

Your child learns to understand big and very big, before he can manage big and bigger.

Here's a Quick Way To Take Control Of Your Nerves: Communication Skills That Work

2011-06-30T02:08:00.000-07:00

Good breathing patterns are vital communication skills, and few people realise how powerful they can be. Learn to control your breathing and you’ll find it easier to manage difficult situations.

When you feel nervous, angry or frightened, your body takes over. We’ve all experienced the rapid heartbeat, sweating and fast breathing of our body’s fight or flight mechanism. It’s possible to control those feelings, using simple techniques that leave you fired up and ready to do your best in the situation, while remaining calm enough to control what you do.

Breathing patterns

One of the simplest ways to get on top of your body’s responses is through your breathing. With a little practice, you can improve your breathing patterns, reducing your stress levels and gaining control over potentially scary situations like giving presentations, calming angry clients, helping your child overcome tantrums and making your point more forcefully in meetings.

Take control

Breathing is an automatic function that continues, controlled by your brain, even when you’re asleep. The rate of breathing changes, getting faster when your body sends chemical bursts around your body, for example when you begin to feel anxious, and slower when you relax. Many people breathe shallowly, using the top of their lungs. Learn how to breathe more deeply and slowly.

Practice

Try sitting or lying quietly and comfortably, and breathe out, counting slowly to four, before breathing in, again to a count of four. You may be surprised at how slowly and deeply it’s possible to breathe. Notice how slower breathing helps you feel relaxed. Try different depths of breath, noticing how your stomach moves in and out when you take good, deep, effective breaths.

If you lie down to practice, take care when you finish your practice to get up slowly, to avoid dizziness.

Calm your anxiety

Next time you feel anxious, take a second to breathe out fully. Your incoming breath will be deeper and fuller. Focus on the outgoing breath. You can leave it to your brain to make sure your incoming breath is deep enough to replace the air you breathe out: that’s how it keeps you alive.

Pass it on

When a child or friend feels stressed, their breathing will be rapid. Your calming words may be ineffective for them, as they focus in on their feelings to the exclusion of anything else. Instead of relying on speech alone, try matching your breathing to theirs.

Breathe in when they breathe in, and breathe out when they do. Once you are synchronised, start to slow your outgoing breath slightly. You’ll find they’ll follow you and calm down a little.

Speaking and breathing

When you match your breathing pattern to that of another person, you also match your speech patterns. We speak on an outgoing breath, so as you breathe in, there will be a silence. That silence slows your speech rate, and calms the atmosphere. It also helps the other person understand what you say more easily. A slower speech rate, with pauses, improves communication.

Presentations

The added excitement, perhaps even the fear, of speaking in front of others, can play havoc with breathing and speech patterns. You may talk much faster than you realise. Trying to talk slowly can be difficult because the intensity of the situation may distort your sense of time. Instead, concentrate on your breathing patterns. Count slowly in your head, before you begin speaking, and establish a slower pattern that helps you feel in control.

Making an impact

When you have control of your breath, you can manage the way you speak. In general, good speakers speak more slowly, pause more often and use fewer words, with clearer emphasis, than poor speakers use. To control a meeting, ensure others listen to your arguments and make your points better, use your breathing patterns to underpin your speech rate.

Here are some more of our posts on better communication:

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills: Ten Best Tips for Better Understanding

How I Stopped Mind Reading

How to Give Advice: Communication Skills That Work

How To Make Positive Suggestions and Improve Your Child’s Behaviour

Help Your Child Talk: Three Top Tips To Help Your Toddler Understand More Easily

2011-06-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Here's extract 16 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

If you'd like to get in touch, maybe with a question on babies, toddlers and language development, or any communication topic, feel free to email me through the Contact Me tab at the top of the blog.

Understanding activities: variety

Let your child have access to many different situations. Seeing a real duck in the park is worth a library full of pictures of ducks. Give him the opportunity to experience things in a range of places.

Parks, libraries, the back garden and shops are all places for him to see and experience a whole new world of new sights, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes.

Everything is new and interesting to a young child. Try to leave plenty of time in your day for him to see and handle. Allow twice as long for a shopping trip as you think you need, so you can talk to him about everything that catches his interest. He’ll learn so much more quickly.

Understanding activities: simplicity

Talk to him in simple sentences. If he misunderstands, it means your sentences are too long or complicated. Say the same thing again, in a simpler way, perhaps using two sentences with a pause in between. That gives him time to process the first word or two and understand them properly, before you say the next phrase.

Remember how you feel when you hear someone speak in a foreign language, especially one that you learned at school. You often wish they would just slow down and let you catch up. Your child feels like that when you bombard him with too much language for him to manage.

Understanding activities: word position

Put a new word at the end of a sentence, as this helps him to pay it more attention. “Look at the dog,” is better than “There's a dog over there.”

Storytelling for Toddlers: Help Your Child Talk With His Own Stories

2011-06-06T03:17:00.000-07:00

Twitter buddies have been tweeting about bedtime stories. Most toddlers seem to like the made up ones best.

Sometimes, mums and dads worry about whether they can make up 'good enough' stories. So to prove how easy it is, here's one I prepared earlier.

Kids love repetition and it helps them learn language skills. This story is as simple as can be. Start it off, and your toddler will soon join in.

Go ahead and add your own variations, using your own child's name.

You'll soon find your own stories are better!

Aunt Jemima's Cakes

Nick woke up one morning feeling excited. His Aunt Jemima was coming to tea.

"She likes cakes" he thought. "We'll have cakes for tea." Nick liked cakes, too! "I'll go to the shops straight away."

And he ran off, forgetting to make a list of the things he would need.

He ran as fast as he could, and bought some flour. He ran home again and put it in his mixing bowl.

"Oh dear," he said. "I bought the flour but I forgot the chocolate."

He ran back to the shop and bought some chocolate. He ran home again and put it in his mixing bowl.

"Oh dear, " he said. "I bought the flour and the chocolate but I forgot the butter."

He ran back to the shop and bought some butter. He ran home again and put it in his mixing bowl.

"Oh dear," he said. "I bought the flour and the chocolate and the butter but I forgot the eggs."

He ran back to the shop and bought the eggs... and so on. You get the picture!

Keep going, adding new items for the cakes and repeating them all in a list each time.

Finally, go for a big finish.

At last Nick was very hot and tired, but he had all the things he needed for Aunt Jemima's cakes. He had the flour, the chocolate, the eggs, the milk, the sugar ....etc.

He made the cakes, then looked at the calendar.

"Oh bother" he said. "Aunt Jemima isn't coming today at all - she's coming next week."

"Never mind, I'll just have to eat all the cakes myself."

And so he did.

................

What stories do your toddlers like? I'd love to know. Use the contact me button to get in touch or just leave a comment on the blog.

How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: Understanding Words

2011-06-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest extract from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

I'm getting great feedback from those of you who read this every week, thanks to everyone who's tweeted or emailed. If you'd like to get in touch, maybe with a question on babies, toddlers and language development, or any communication topic, feel free to email me through the Contact Me tab at the top of the blog.

The third key that unlocks the mysteries of language for your child, is understanding.

In this extract, I explain a little about what it means to a baby and toddler to begin to understand words.

Understanding: meanings

One of the beautiful properties of language is that most words have a range of meanings. When you hear the work “dog”, you visualize a dog. You have a picture in your mind. Very likely the mental picture you have is different from the picture anyone else has. This is because the meaning of the word depends on your life experiences.

If you own a dog, you may think of him first. If your own dog’s a labrador, you’ll have a picture of a labrador in your mind, while your friend who has a dachshund will imagine her dog when she hears the word.

Understanding: making sense of sounds

For your baby, the first step in learning the meaning of words is linking the word to just one thing: in this case, a dog. Remember that, in his first year, “dog” is a string of sounds that has no meaning.

He hears that collection of sounds repeated many times. It begins to have a familiar ring about it, until he notices that every time he hears those sound combinations, that furry animal that barks and licks is in the room.

Every time he hears that particular string of sounds, there is this thing that you call “dog” around. At first, it may be the family dog. Then he may hear those sounds while you point to another dog next door or to a picture in a book. He hears “dog” each time.

Perhaps then, the word refers to any animal with four legs, or to anything with a collar. It could be any or all of these. Gradually, he learns that different animals have different names, or labels, and he recognizes those different labels.

His understanding grows so fast that by 2 years old he understands 200 words and more.

Understanding: toddlers

Your toddler starts to realize that words can go together in phrases. When you say “give it to daddy”, the words he picks out are “give” and “daddy”. These words carry the important meaning of the sentence, and the rest of the sentence is unimportant. Help him understand by emphasizing the important words you say, and by often using short, simple sentences.

Understanding: phrases

Next, your child learns how words combine into phrases and sentences. “The cat sits” for example.

Grammatical markers, such as “-ing” and “-ed” help to increase the number of meanings attached to those words and phrases. You can say, “the cat sat”: changing one vowel sound in “sit” from “i” to “a” changes the tense of the phrase, putting it in the past. You can also add markers to turn the phrase into the future tense: “the cat will sit.”

Understanding: frustration

Temper tantrums are likely in your 2-year old child, often the result of the frustration he feels. He can’t understand your explanation for denying him those sweets or toys he wants. He understands “no” but not “they’re bad for you.”

He can’t explain his own feelings of frustration, because his language skills have yet to reach a stage of development that allows him to put his feelings into words. No wonder he screams and kicks.

Often, sign language helps, as he uses a set of simple signs more easily than putting together the words and saying them so people understand. If you use sign language with your toddler, make sure you always say the words as you make the sign. You want your child to hear words in context many, many times, before he learns to say them himself.

Come back next week for another extract. CLICK HERE

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, just BUY NOW. Download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Who Else Wants To be Liked? Best Tips For Meeting New People

2011-05-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should be asking: who doesn’t want to be liked? Because most of us, whether we admit it or not, want to be admired, liked, accepted and popular. People who genuinely don’t care what others think of them are the real eccentrics in society, and much as you may admire them, you probably wouldn’t be happy in their isolated environment.

Being easily liked can help you in so many ways. It  helps you get a job (your interviewer makes his mind up about you in seconds). Once you’ve got one, you want to fit into the team and enjoy your work.

In your social life, you want friends, at least enough so you get to go out once in a while.

Every time your child starts a new school, or goes to University, or wants to move away from home and share a flat, she needs to get on with other people.

Why people like you
You can make people warm to you at first sight, through your body language and your inner language. It takes practice, and the more you practice, the better you’ll be.

The first time two people meet, whether it’s at a party, meeting your partner’s parents, at an interview or a business meeting, it’s a significant moment. Just like other animals, for each participant the first meeting is full of anxiety. Both of you unconsciously ask yourselves Is this person dangerous? Is he stronger than me? Is he going to attack? Or is he like me, one of my tribe, someone I will be able to depend on and trust?

Remember that both of you have the same questions flicking through your minds, and the answers will depend on the way you appear. Take control of this situation, by taking account of the four things you need to give yourself a charisma boost.

A new person will feel safe with you if you seem:
   • to fit into his ‘tribe’ by looking like him, so you're less likely to attack;

   • competent, giving him confidence;

   • warm, as you signal that you like the look of him and won’t be a danger;

   • good humoured because you seem to find the same things funny as him.

Give out these signals using the following tips and you'll be liked on sight.

Look right
Dress in the style of the people you plan to meet. You wear different clothes at Glastonbury to those you need for a business meeting. Be appropriate. In most cases that means being clean, tidy and neat. Only dress like a Goth when you meet other Goths.

Body language
Show you are in control of yourself, so that the person you meet can relax. The way you stand, your gestures and your facial expression all give him important signals, so look him in the eye and smile. As you look, say to yourself, “I like him/her.” That one thought changes your facial expression more effectively than any amount of practice. Your smile becomes warmer, your forehead relaxes and your eyes crinkle in a genuine smile.

Stand straight with your hands at your side, not crossed in front of your chest.

If you shake hands, lean slightly towards him and shake firmly, then let go.

Voice
A strong voice shows your confidence and self-control. For a strong voice, you need a good lung-full of breath and a relaxed throat. A good tip is to breathe out fully, then let your lungs refill naturally. This relaxes your muscles far more than taking an intentionally deep breath.

Lower your voice a little, if you tend to squeak when you feel nervous. Most of us do.

Speak a little louder. When you feel shy or nervous, you're likely to mumble.

If your voice is habitually weak and thin, it’s worth practicing a few voice exercises to strengthen it.

Humour
Most of us are not comedians and we can’t tell jokes. Don’t try. The best way to seem good-humoured is to enjoy other people’s humour. This puts you on the same wavelength and makes you seem alike. Smile when your companion makes a joke, even a bad one, and avoid laughing out loud unless you truly find something funny.

More communication skills that work:

How to Banish Guilt Through Positive Thinking

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills: Ten Best Tips for Better Understanding

How I Stopped Mind Reading and Started Enjoying My Life

How to Give Advice

How To make Positive Suggestions and Improve Your Child’s Behaviour

Ten Tips on Dealing with Angry People

Ten Ways Pauses Improve Communication

How to Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: Your Baby's Understanding

2011-05-27T03:23:00.000-07:00

Here's extract number 12 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

The third key that unlocks the mysteries of language for your child, is understanding. In previous extracts, we've looked at how he learns to notice and pay careful attention to the world around him, and how he learns to listen to noises.

This extract explains how your baby starts to understand the significance of words, and looks at the importance of gesture.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Communication
is a two-way process. You talk, while I listen and decode your words in order to understand what you mean. Then I reply, while you listen, decode and understand, according to research undertaken in 1948 by Shannon and Weaver. If this process is going to work when you talk to your child, he needs to understand the words you use, and the grammatical structures you use to assemble them together into meaningful sentences.

Without that understanding, your communication is less effective and the message is lost or scrambled. Your child needs to understand the meaning of the words, phrases and sentences of language, so he can follow verbal instructions, ask for things, or pass on information.

Understanding: infants
At birth, your baby does not understand any words, although he can hear your voice and enjoy its sound, finding it soothing. At this time, his concern is to make sure you respond to his demands for food, warmth and comfort, to keep him alive. All his brainpower focuses on fulfilling his immediate needs.

As he grows, and his billion brain cells start to build connective pathways to each other, he begins to recognize that your voice sounds different at certain times and in certain circumstances. Sometimes you speak quietly, but sometimes you sound agitated or urgent.

He starts to notice the differences and he turns to look at the person speaking, interested in the noise their speech makes. He gets excited when he hears your voice approaching, associating it with the good things about a parent: food, comfort, warmth and safety.

Understanding: six months
At around 6 months, he turns to the sound of doorbells or dogs barking, hearing the difference between those noises and speech. Now he realizes that your speech is more than simple noise. He hears some sound combinations repeated. He hears you say “no” or “bye-bye” many times, and the link between meaning and sound grows in his brain.

He starts to recognize his own name, probably the word he hears most often. He also begins to understand the language of gesture, including waving.

Understanding: gesture
He needs to hear words and see gestures in context, to work out what they mean. This is a good time to start introducing simple signing. Signing allows him to associate gestures with words and their meaning.

Gestures are easier for him to understand and copy than words. They’re bigger, which makes them easier to see and the movements are less complicated. A wave is one simple movement, easy to decode and understand, while the word “bye-bye” is a string of small sounds put together in a special pattern.

Signs are easier for him to make, as they need fewer fine motor skills: and his motor skills are still developing alongside his language.

Come back next week for another extract. A link will appear HERE.

If you're finding these extracts useful, and can't wait to read the rest of the ebook, you can BUY NOW. Download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter to your Kindle in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Communication Skills That Work: Ten Ways Pauses Improve Understanding

2011-05-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

The pause can become your best communication friend. Use it. Become a clearer, more charismatic communicator as you speak less and pause more, whether in one-to-one conversations or talking to a whole room. Never underestimate the impact of a brief hiatus. Learn to embrace the rhythms of speech, and make use of those silent moments.

Here’s how:
• Pause to allow your listener to catch up. Always think of your listener’s angle. Research shows that both children and adults understand best when your speed is moderate and you pause several times a minute. Remember that your ideas are familiar to you. You already know what you’re about to say, while it’s all new to your conversation partner. He needs decoding time.

• Pause even more when you talk to a bigger audience. Everyone in the room has extra distractions all around her and she needs extra time to take in your words. She has to hear them clearly, blocking out the man next to her when he sniffs or coughs. She needs to to remember each word long enough to extract its meaning, teasing out your grammatical markers, like word endings, and word order in the sentences. The bigger the audience, the longer your pauses should be.

• Pause to make sure you choose the best word for clarity, accuracy and to avoid offense. Notice how an excellent speaker feels comfortable when she stops and thinks, while her listener waits, breathless, until she selects exactly the right word. A nervous or careless speaker who talks vaguely and dully about ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ quickly loses your attention.

• Pause to let the other person speak. Unless you’re a politician with just one minute to deliver your sound bite, be polite. Let your conversation partner have his say. Listen to what he says during your pause and take account of it in your response. Have you ever met someone known as the life and soul of the party who tells strings of jokes and stories without stopping to interact with you? It doesn’t take long for you to want to get away from him, does it?

• Pause to let the other person think. If he stops to find the right word, give him time. Chances are, it’ll be worth waiting for. If you interrupt, you’ll never know.

• Pause after an important phrase to let your words sink in. President Obama always followed “Yes, we can!” with a pause. Rushing straight on to your next point destroys the moment.

• Pause to make sure your audience is listening and to check their reactions. Stopping for a second gives you time to register body language. It allows to see whether your conversation partner is nodding along in agreement, or gazing over your shoulder to find someone more interesting.

• Pause to review what you just said and check where you need to add clarity. As you use your pauses to watch your partner or your audience, notice frowns or puzzled expressions. Maybe you need to add a few words, or ask a question, to help with understanding.

• Pause to gain your audience’s attention even before you begin a speech. Walk to your place, stop, look around the room and count to five, then begin. This shows that you are completely in control and adds to your charisma. You may feel nervous, and you gain time to breathe out and then in, ready to go. Practice it at home.

• Pause often during difficult conversations. A therapist often uses pauses to allow her client to think, react and review the topic. Use a pause with your child, friend or partner, giving him space to express himself honestly and sincerely. You may be surprised at the results.

More communication skills posts you may find useful:
Communication Skills That Work: Ten Tips on Dealing with Angry People
How To Make Positive Suggestions and Improve Your Child’s Behaviour: Communication Skills That Work
How to Give Advice: Communication Skills That Work
Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills: Ten Best Tips for Better Understanding

Help Your Child Talk: Two Toddler Listening Games

2011-05-20T02:25:00.000-07:00

Here's extract number 11 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Last week, I introduced some games to play with your toddler, and there's a useful comment on the post from a friend, (thanks, HunterValleyYabby2,) saying that there are free resources for sound lotto on line, as well as commercial ones - just google 'sound lotto'.

Here are some more games for you to try with your toddler, and a short checklist of ways to improve his listening skills.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Listening: toddler activities: sound chart
It's easy to make this yourself.

Divide a large sheet of paper into seven sections, one for each day of the week. Keep a selection of sticky stars.

Every day, choose one sound. It could be a dog barking, an aeroplane or someone coughing. Select something that you and your child will hear several times.

Cut out a picture of the sound, stick it on the paper and listen out together with your child. Every time he hears the sound, he sticks on a star.

As he gets older, use a different word for every day, or a different speech sound.

Listening: toddler activities: storytelling
Prepare to read a story aloud. Tell your child to listen out for a certain word. When he hears it, he can do an agreed action. For example, every time he hears the work “up” he jumps in the air.

Make sure he sits down again each time and prepares to listen again.

Listening: checklist for toddlers

Keep to a routine, with quiet times for stories, games and puzzles.
Include times for noisy play and letting off steam.
Tidy his toys occasionally so he attends to one thing at a time.
Smile when your child talks to you.
Turn off the TV and radio for a time every day while you play.
Make a quiet corner with somewhere to sit and draw, colour or look at books.

Come back next week for another extract. A link will appear HERE.

Can't Wait To Read the Rest? BUY NOW and download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Communication Skills That Work: Ten Tips on Dealing With Angry People

2011-05-17T01:49:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as a difficult person?

I've spent many years working in hospitals, where people are more likely to be anxious and stressed than almost any other place. Nursing staff often “burn out” due to the stress of their jobs, and this happens across the globe, in Shanhai, the U.S. and the UK.

One great stressor for those of us who face the public daily as part of our work can be dealing with the anger, usually mixed with anxiety and fear, of our clients.

You can often defuse and improve the situation, so that your difficult person becomes - well - a person.

I’m not talking here about someone who comes into your office wielding a knife, or attacks you at a football match. In cases like those, you need to know how to defend yourself without laying yourself open to prosecution. If you think you’re likely to be in this position, take some self-defence training and check your organisation’s policies.

Mostly, though, bad encounters stay at the level of shouting or swearing. Even mild disagreements, with people who just won’t see your point of view, can leave you feel upset, angry and frustrated for the rest of the day. Here are some tips on turning a bad encounter around and walking away feeling good about yourself.

1 Remember that this difficult person is someone struggling to cope, having a hard time or finding life a problem. That may be easier to take into account if you work in a hospital, where you expect people to be anxious, worried, frightened or tense. It’s harder when a client phones you up and abuses you because his laptop won’t work, but still, he’s suffering.

2 Put yourself in his shoes. Remember how it felt last time you were really frustrated and no one would listen? You may have controlled yourself better than he can, but remembering how it felt will go a long way to help you cope. Instead of meeting his anger with your own, you feel some empathy.

3 Listen to him. Let him rant and call you names. As my grandmother used to say, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” He will run out of steam eventually, unless he intends violence. Don’t hang around if you suspect this might be the case. Push your panic button or hit the emergency number on your phone.

4 Make eye contact if you can, though he may avoid this until he calms down. Use an open body posture: keep your arms by your side (crossed arms look defensive). Avoid any gesture that could appear aggressive, such as raising your hands or your voice. Keep a desk between you if you feel anxious, and make sure you are between him and the door, if he’s in a room alone with you. Try to move into a position where you are both facing the same way: standing face to face can be too assertive at this stage.

5 Walk away if it really gets too much for you (after all, you may be having a bad time yourself that day). Leave before you lose your own temper or feel so upset you can’t bear it. Say, “I will find someone else who can help you,” or simply “I’m sorry, I can’t deal with this now,” and leave. Then find someone who will help.

6 As you listen, really listen. Go beyond the abuse and try to hear what he’s saying. Keep trying to make eye contact, and when you do, nod to show you’re listening.

7 When he slows down, talk quietly to him. Tell him you’re sorry he feels bad, or if he has a genuine complaint, apologise for the mistake. Check that you understand his problem. Ask a question, to make sure you’ve got it right.

8 Solve his problem if you can.

9 When all is quiet and calm, point out firmly that his behaviour was inappropriate and unacceptable, and lay down the rules for any repeat performance: such as immediately calling the police.

10 Talk to a colleague, friend or senior person, to review what happened and deal with the feelings you may have afterwards.

More communication skills posts:

How to Give Advice: Communication Skills That Work

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills: Ten Best Tips for Better Understanding

See Things From His Point of View: Resolving Conflicts

Help Your Child Talk: Toddler Listening Games

2011-05-14T02:46:00.000-07:00

Here's extract number 10 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

Last week, we looked at games you can play with your baby. This week's extract moves on to think about toddlers and suggest some activities you may enjoy that will support your active toddler's listening skills.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Listening: toddlers
Listening skills still matter to your child as he grows into an active and lively toddler. He needs to run and have fun, and he needs quiet times every day, just with you.

Remember to end each day with a story before bedtime. Settle down in a comfortable place with him, maybe after his bath when he feels relaxed and happy. Use a simple book, with bright pictures, and be prepared to read the same book many times. Your child loves familiar things; they make him feel safe.

Keep talking and playing with him regularly. Read stories to him, sing nursery rhymes together and talk about things he sees.

Listening: toddler activities: jack in the box
Use a jack in the box to show your child the fun in listening for a signal. Make sure he enjoys playing with his toy then introduce the idea of waiting. Hold his hands, say his name and wait until he looks at you. Then say, “go” and help him press the button that makes the puppet jump. Press the button immediately when you say “go”. Those moments of waiting increase his excitement, until the toy bobs up, keeping his attention development going alongside his listening skills.

Listening: toddler activities: noise - makers
Collect together pairs of instruments. Try rattles or squeaky toys, tambourines, drums or rattles that you make yourself by filling yoghurt pots with rice, sugar, sand and so on. Always make sure that you cover the pot carefully to prevent your child trying to eat the contents.

Play with two of the noisemakers, so your child becomes familiar with the sounds they make. Place them on a table and then rattle one of the matching noisemakers out of his sight, to see if he can find the pair by listening alone.

Ring the changes by using two or more noisemakers in sequence, so he learns to copy rhythms.

Listening: toddler activities: sound lotto
Record some everyday sounds yourself, in preparation for a game of sound lotto with your child. Leave a gap of a few seconds between each sound, and collect a picture to illustrate each one. Include bird song, a cat, a vacuum cleaner, water running, and any other everyday noise your child will find familiar.

Put two or three cards in front of your child and give him some counters. Make sure he is listening. You may need to say “listen” and wait to gain his attention. You know you have his attention when he looks at your face. Then play one of the sounds on the tape recorder. Let him put a counter on the correct picture.

As he becomes more skilful, put out more cards or play two or three of the sounds before allowing him to use the counters.

Come back next week for another extract. A link will appear HERE.

Can't Wait To Read the Rest? BUY NOW and download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

Communication Newsletter: Child Talk, Music, Stroke and Brains

2011-05-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

I like to sample the web and sniff out tasty communication–related topics.

There are stacks out there, so here’s my selection box of tasters. Please dip in.

Choose from helping your child talk (one of my favourite flavours), some fellow-bloggers’ thoughts on the benefits of silence and music, a sign of hope for stroke patients and this month’s favourite soft centre: the importance of red wine and chocolate, preferably enjoyed together. Yum.

Enjoy!

Child language
The Hello 2011 campaign is raising awareness of the importance of your child’s first three years. That’s when your baby/toddler learns language most quickly – so why not take advantage of that window. There’s plenty of help on the Hello site, including some great videos.

Early years are key for communication skills yet 1 in 5 new parents unaware of need to talk to their baby! Don’t be one of that 20%.

Helpful pauses and magical silences
Good news for parents who um and er. It doesn’t matter if you hesitate a bit when you talk to your children – in fact, it may even help them, by slowing your speech down and giving them time to understand it. In fact, pauses in speech help everyone, not just children, to process what you say.

I love this post from Mary Plouffe, a clinical psychologist, on the healing power of silence.She’s someone who welcomes pauses and silences, and her writing style enchants. Take a while to read and think. Maybe, like many of us, you could use some extra quiet in your life?

Communication, science and the brain
Future hope for locked in syndrome sufferers. When is life no longer worth living? How can you tell what another person thinks if he can’t speak or move?

Here’s a hopeful post on how scientists are bypassing motor problems in stroke patients and using blocked brain signals to enable movement again. Wonderful prospects for people longing to communicate and their families.

Music has great power to relieve stress http://bit.ly/gWcR5L There’s a strong linked to talking, in fact there are theories that the two abilities develop as one in a tiny baby. If your life is busy, your toddler fractious or your tween hyper, try some calming music.

Chocolate and red wine: of course it's good for you!

Try some of these other posts on communication:

Your Five Senses

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills: Ten Best Tips for Better Understanding

Credits: Child listening to music image

Help Your Child Talk: Listening Games for Your Baby

2011-05-06T03:25:00.000-07:00

Here's extract number 9 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

This extract introduces games to play to help your child develop his listening skills.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Notice how your baby listens attentively to the noises around him during his first year. He may stop what he’s doing to listen to a new sound, and he’s likely to turn to search for something interesting, such as the sound of another baby. He turns if you make a quiet noise behind his back.

Listening: familiar sounds
From around six months, he recognises familiar words. When you say the name of a family member, he turns to look at them. He enjoys the sound of his own voice and makes repetitive babbling nonsense sounds, such as “ba-ba-ba”. He needs to spend time with you, copying your babbling noises and laughing.

Listening: activities for babies
Always play listening games in a quiet room and turn off the TV and radio. Play when you and your baby are happy and relaxed. If one of you is not enjoying the game, stop playing and try again another time.

Listening: baby activities: noisy rattles
Find two or three different rattles or soft squeaky toys. Shake or squeak the loudest of these on one side of your baby, where he cannot see it. Watch him turn his head towards the sound. Shake the rattle from a different direction, then from another.

Take your time and give your baby a chance to enjoy the sound and to turn and see the rattle. If he reaches for the rattle, let him have it and let him play with it himself.

Use another of the noisemakers, perhaps one that makes a quieter sound, and squeak that in a place where your baby can’t see it.

Whisper his name, or rattle a piece of paper.

If you think he had difficulty hearing the sounds, ask a health professional for advice.

Listening: baby activities: babbling
Babbling is repeating of speech sounds many times. It begins at around 6 months old and as he babbles. he practices all the speech sounds, ready for the time he begins talking.

Choose a time when you and your baby are looking at each other. This could be as you finish changing his nappy, or give him his feed, or perhaps as he sits in his bouncing cradle.

Make repetitive sounds: “ba-ba-ba” or “ch-ch-ch” and see if he responds. If he makes sounds of his own, babble them back to him. Don’t worry that there are no real words attached to the sounds, just have fun.

Listening: baby activities: what's that?
When you hear noises around the house, draw your baby's attention to them by saying, “What's that?” Take him to see whatever makes the noise. The cat may be miaowing or Daddy may be opening the front door. Through constant repetition, your baby associates the sound with the activity.

Listening: baby activities: nursery rhymes
Keep singing to your baby as you bath him, or change him.

Turning on the tape recorder to let him listen on his own is nowhere near as good for his future language skills as singing yourself. Remember that song is a form of communication. You want your child to communicate with you, not with a piece of machinery.

CDs are, though, worth their weight in gold on long car journeys.

Come back next week for another extract, all about your baby's listening skills: why they matter and how you can help him learn to listen. A link will appear HERE.

Can't Wait To Read the Rest? BUY NOW and download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).

How To Make Positive Suggestions and Improve Your Child’s Behaviour: Communication Skills That Work

2011-05-04T03:17:00.000-07:00

Don’t peek at the picture at the end of this post.

I bet you found it hard to resist just taking a quick look. As soon as you read that suggestion, your curiosity jumped into action. Maybe the ‘don’t’ also annoyed you enough to want to disobey.

I wonder how many times you say ‘don’t’ or 'stop' to your child every day. You may have the best intentions, but every time you mention something you want him to avoid, you plant the suggestion in his mind.

Once his brain has a clear picture or idea in it, he'll find it hard to resist. He needs your help to replace it with something else.

Avoid encouraging negativeideas and images by changing your own language.

Learn to make positive suggestions that focus your child's attention on the behaviour you want to encourage.

Stop coughing
A tickly cough can be a nightmare when you want to keep quiet. The more she tries not to cough, the more that tickle irritates your child. Better advice would be: Breathe out slowly, counting to four, then in again gently.

Distract her attention to another part of her body, making a comment on her shoes or suggesting her ear may be itching. Or get her to distract herself by pinching her finger tips together or getting her to sip a glass of water.

Stop laughing at that man
Sometimes, your child or teen will be overcome by embarrassing embarrassing giggling that he just can't control. Help him to get a grip on himself by making alternative suggestions that distract his attention, like: Look what’s happening over there? and pointing in the opposite direction.

Don’t run
Much better to say: Walk slowly and carefully. That focuses attention on to the action you want and helps your child put his energy into walking as slowly as he can.

Stop shouting
A class of noisy six year olds will quieten much more quickly if you ask them to practice their whispers, tell them to copy your actions as you put your finger on your lips or point and say: Look! in a commanding voice.

Don’t look down
Imagine you’re walking along a tightrope and a helpful friend calls that out. It maybe hadn’t occurred to you to look down until they suggested it! Your friend would have done much better to say: Keep looking at the tree straight ahead.

Get better results by planting positive suggestions in your child’s mind.

Here’s that picture at last: Your Happy Kids!

Some more posts on communication skills:

How to Avoid the Unscrupulous Salesman’s Language Traps

How to Banish Guilt Through Positive Thinking

How to Give Advice: Communication Skills That Work

How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: Why Listening Matters

2011-04-29T00:41:00.000-07:00

Here's extract number 8 from How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter: your chance to learn more about the way your child learns to talk.

This extract introduces Listening, the second of the Five Keys that will unlock your child's language skills.

If you're a new reader, CLICK HERE to read How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter from the very beginning.This link takes you to the first post, so you can read the extracts in sequence. At the end of each week's post you'll see a link to take you on to the next extract. I try to post every Friday, by noon GMT.

Listening skills
Scientists know what happens to children when no one talks to them. Sadly, some children grow up without any conversation or play. Studying these children in detail have shown how lack of stimulation destroys their chances of being the smart people they should become.

Listening: parents
Genie was a ‘wild child’, severely neglected by her parents who locked her in her room for 12 years. Her father hated children and terrified her mother into ignoring her completely, apart from giving her some basic food. Rescued at the age of thirteen, Genie learned to talk a little, but she never managed the kind of language skill most children show by 5 years of age.

Your baby learns to talk best if he listens to you talking regularly. The person who cares for him most of the time makes the best teacher for your baby. In most cases, but not all, his mother or father takes on that role. He uses this parent as his model for the future.

He needs to hear you clearly and concentrate on what you say. He may have perfect hearing, but if noise from the TV drowns out your words, he won’t be able to pick out what you say. Turn all external noise off for at least an hour every day.

Children raised in noisy places find it hard to concentrate. They may find it hard to sleep properly, and they find it hard to listen carefully and concentrate on one thing at a time.

Help your child learn to listen.

Listening: infants
Learning to listen is a skill he begins to learn at birth, when he turns his head to your voice. Your quiet voice soothes him, while loud noises startle him and may make him cry. He may like to listen to the washing machine or vacuum cleaner, as their quiet rumbles sound a little like the noises he heard before he was born. He likes to listen to you talking or singing quietly.

Listening: hearing
A newborn baby has good hearing and he quickly learns to turn towards a familiar sound. He starts to recognise your voice and relaxes when he hears you talking to him. New parents find they can soothe their baby by talking or singing quietly.

Hearing problems are a key reason for delayed language development. Many babies undergo hearing checks soon after birth, to pick up any problems as soon as possible. You should mention any worry you have over your child’s hearing to a health professional as soon as possible.

Come back next week for another extract, all about your baby's listening skills: why they matter and how you can help him learn to listen. A link will appear HERE.

Can't Wait To Read the Rest? BUY NOW and download How To Help Your Child Talk and Grow Smarter in seconds for only £3.53 ($5.73).