OK. Phew.  For a second there I thought Irina might have low self esteem issues…

Here’s Sara Jean Underwood making an ass of herself… see what I did there?

Poor thing.  I sometimes wish my life could be easier too.  I can’t imagine living the life of Riley is easy.  All those trips, fancy cars, access… I can see how those things can be a burden.  How do Bono or Bill Gates get by?  Oh that’s right, they’re not self absorbed little c*nts.  OK.  Maybe, Bono just little…   All the opportunity to do good in this world, squandered.  Squandered by self absorption.  I have no idea why the world hates us?!

She lives a life of immense privilege that she and the rest of the Kardashian clan broadcast for all to see.  So Kendall Jenner’s tweet on Tuesday night in which she wished ‘things could be easier’ set the Twittersphere alight, with followers blasting the 17-year-old for being ungrateful for all her good fortune.  Chief among the detractors was Frances Bean Cobain, 20, who sounded off with a series of tweets lambasting the reality star, calling her a ‘f–king idiot’ for being so ‘self-involved.’

No idea who she is, and it doesn’t really matter, does it?!  I do know that I tried Googling her and when it was over, I was pretty tired.

These pics are listed as “candid” which we know is another word for “staged” nobody else is at the beach…no pics of her ass.  If these really were candid pics… you know there’d be some rear shots.  Even amateur photographers know that…

REEL BASTARDS: To answer the question “Is Star Trek: Into Darkness too dark?,” nnnoooo. In fact, twenty years ago it likely would’ve secured a nice PG rating instead of PG13, but unfortunately we now live in a world where people are afraid that misguided children may go nuts with tazer guns or take over innocent planets because they saw a Star Trek flick, so it’s PG13. Not to say there aren’t some dark moments where some lives are lost, because there are (if you count people getting sucked out into space while screaming bloody murder a dark moment). Otherwise, Star Trek: Into Darkness is just a nice escapism movie with a sprinkle of what so many special effects extravaganzas are missing nowadays; some human emotion.

Appropriate, since the whole theme of this movie is human emotion and whether or not one can simply turn it off when tragedy looks them straight in the face. Spock (Zachary Quinto) gets this whole debate going when he gets Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) in deep doo-doo with his Star Fleet superiors after Kirk saves his life by breaking a few company rules. Kirk is pissy about this (pissiness being an emotion), while Spock sees nothing wrong with reporting the simple facts in his Enterprise log. Oh, and in case you’re lost here already, they’re part of the crew of this thing called the USS Enterprise, a neato spaceship that goes on missions and does cool stuff like save bumbling aliens who have “just barely invented the wheel” from volcanoes. And Spock is the guy with the bangs and the ears.

Soooo, yeah. Kirk gets demoted, but an old mentor goes to bat for him and keeps him from being fired completely. When this mentor is killed in an attack on Star Fleet Headquarters (I swear it’s in the beginning, no big spoiler), Kirk lets his human rage drive him to seek revenge while being countered by Spock’s logic and respect for basic morality at all costs. The bad guy? A mysterious stranger whose real name got an applause break from the trekkies in the crowd.

That’s the one bummer about these new Star Trek films, the fact that they’re prequels to the old ones and not really revamps, because the suspense of who will live and who will die is somewhat killed off itself. Otherwise, props to J.J. Abrams for what he’s done once again, which is make prequels of a sci-fi series that are worthy enough to rake new fans in. Too bad not everyone has been able to pull this off in the past (Did you see that? I totally just ripped on George Lucas and his crappy Star Wars prequels all sly-like, that was so bodacious). With the new Star Trek films, we are brought into this world almost completely made of CGI without CGI having to draw attention to itself. Every towering building, flying car, lazer beam and even panoramic view of a behemoth spacecraft emerging from the waters just off the coast of an island with purplish-reddish trees where native aliens with bug eyes and spears watch in awe is presented to us with a “so what?” grace that envelops the viewer into this fantastical world without questioning a shred of it. That, on top of the fine acting supplied by the crew (Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban and that beady-eyed kid who didn’t quite pull off the Kyle Reese role in that not-quite-pulled-off Terminator prequel) owning their adopted roles well makes for a generally smooth ride in space.

Otherwise, at 2 hours and 12 minutes, one can’t help but feel things could’ve been tightened up. Sure, plenty of flicks go longer, but there are moments here where (despite the constant eye candy) the technical talk should’ve just been replaced with more of what this movie pulls off, its central-lying theme of emotion. There’s a sequence where Spock has to man up and get ‘er done instead of use logic, which is easily the most exciting sequence of the entire film. And while it’s always appreciated to have more than just cat-and-mouse chases in action movies, it will hopefully be soon that worthy filmmakers like J.J. Abrams and Christopher Nolan accept that we know they’re smart guys and we’re still far more interested with an emotional experience over a complex and twisty plot. Whatever, Star Trek: Into Darkness was worth seeing even if you don’t know anything about Star Trek, so kudos to a decent sci-fi flick that doesn’t just rely on inside jokes from its predecessors to get by.  More movie reviews at REEL BASTARDS

Here’s an uplifting story in the face of all the tragedy surrounding the Midwest:

Bernie Madoff, whose formerly lavish lifestyle included a share in a private jet and houses in Palm Beach, Fla., and France’s Cap d’Antibes, is now making wages akin to those earned by Bangladeshi garment workers.   Madoff told CNNMoney’s Aaron Smith that he’s making $40 a month by performing menial labor in prison. Because his prison phone account was out of money, he had to place a collect call to the publication.    The convicted swindler is making his meager earnings by taking care of the prison’s phone and computer systems. That means Madoff, whose name is now a byword for a grand cheater, is earning about the same amount as garment workers in Bangladesh, as the Huffington Post notes.

Josh Turnbull may just have a future on the pitch. He managed to electrify the Chelsea collective recently at Stamford Bridge.  Deadspin brings us one of the best moments from a tumultuous season for Chelsea. In fact, I nearly forgot all about the awful portions of the year as this young maestro weaved his way to an open goal.  According to the report, the little man with mad game is goalkeeper Ross Turnbull’s son, and he just stole every last bit of Paulo Ferreira’s thunder.   The 34-year-old was saying his fond farewells to the Chelsea faithful when the boy caught the fans’ eyes. The cameraman and everyone in the stands locked in on the little kid dribbling toward a wide-open net.

The decision should be an easy one.  But keep in mind Ireland is only 17.  Maybe that’ll change your mind?  So it’s awkwardness v. sizzling hot experience… dealer’s choice (assuming we would ever even have a choice)!

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How weird, I was about to go to the beach too this weekend.  But my wife had a migraine, and my son pooped himself just as we were leaving.  By the time we got ourselves sorted, traffic got really bad, so we decided to go to the park instead.  Who needs the beach anyway.  It’s not like there’s anything to see….