Every day, our emotions may come into play based on the situations that arise. In fact, with what’s happening in the world today (Covid, rising unemployment, stay at home order, etc.), emotions are more rampant and heightened than ever before.

According to James Gross, an emotion researcher at Stanford University, emotions are a brief response affecting both behavior as well as the body that occur during events which present either challenges or opportunities. His model starts with the situation, then moves to an aspect from which you derive meaning. That meaning creates an emotional response and leads to an outcome.

For example, let’s say you go to a party where you see your ex (situation). You greet your ex and watch your ex flirt with some else (aspect). You can either be happy for your ex or think that the other person is better than you  (meaning). If you think the latter, then you probably respond with jealousy and anger (emotional response). This then leads you to either suppress your feelings or get drunk or some other negative behavior (outcome).

Now, it may seem reasonable for you to get jealous if the breakup was recent, but what if it had occurred years ago? Is it still reasonable to act out?

Let’s face it, your ability to regulate emotions affects how others perceive you. By learning to regulate your emotions well before a provoking situation can occur, you can avoid responding negatively.  It takes self-awareness (Emotional Intelligence Pillar 1) then practice or self-regulation, but it is possible to manage your emotional response to difficult situations.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

Harness your environment.

One way to get your undesirable emotions under control is to avoid situations that spark these emotions. Usually, it’s something or someone in your immediate environment that will provoke most negative emotions in you. Managing these negative emotions demands that you seek out their immediate causes and avoiding any circumstances that may trigger them.

For example, let’s say you have a specific friend who constantly throws you off with their comments or behavior. Maybe this person is constantly making judgmental comments about you like, “Why do you always wear your hair like that? Or if you lost a little weight, you’d be so beautiful.” In this example, it’s natural to feel upset or angry that someone you consider a friend would be so hurtful. You may have even shared how these comments aren’t helpful, but this person can’t seem to stop. This is a good time to limit or stop hanging out with them.

It may be more difficult to cut the person off if the negative person is a family member or someone you work with. You can, however, choose to limit how much time you spend or in what situations you interact them.

Another thing to consider  is reviewing any personal influences that could be putting you in a bad mood such as social media, choice of recreation activities and any other circumstances that cause upset.  

Change the situation.

Let’s say the emotion you’re trying to manage is frustration. You are always hoping, for example, to host the “perfect” party for friends and family, but inevitably something goes wrong because you have planned too many things. Maybe you planned to host a 5-course meal along with epic decorations that you make yourself from ideas on Pinterest. You find yourself frustrated that you have so many daily obligations that you don’t have the time to create the best candy bar or the cool photo backdrop in time. We all can get caught up with creating an epic scenario in our minds of a party or event that will get talked about for years. But is it really worth the frustration, disappointment, and stress when we have a real-life to juggle? Changing the situation means setting realistic goals that are in your range of abilities and time constraints to avoid suffering the emotional turmoil of setting your expectations too high.

Focus your attention.

Some people feel inferior to those around them who seem to be living amazing lives. Your Facebook or Instagram feed shows people doing things that you long to do. This may play into feelings of inferiority or lack of ability. How can they be able to afford to take so many trips or complete a marathon when it’s so hard for me to afford a weekend getaway or to run 3 miles without collapsing?

Shifting your focus away from others and onto your own goals and aspirations helps you feel more confident about your own abilities and life. By focusing on your own dreams and goals, you will eventually gain the confidence, abilities, experiences, and material items you desire while minimizing unwanted emotions.

Change your thought process.

The core of our deepest emotions is the beliefs that drive them. You feel anger when you realize that an important goal is unattainable, sad when you believe to have lost something, and jubilant anticipation when you believe something good is coming your way. By changing You may not be able to alter the situation by changing your thoughts about what’s happening, but you can at least change the way you believe the situation is affecting you.

Consider using cognitive reappraisal.  You do this by replacing the thoughts that lead to upset with thoughts that instead spark joy or at least lessen your negative feelings or upset.

Alter your response.

If all else fails, and you cannot change, avoid, shift your focus, or change your thoughts, and that negative emotion comes rushing out, the final step in emotion regulation is to manage your response. For example, when you are feeling angry or anxious, your heart may start beating out a steady drumroll of unpleasant sensations. To help manage your response, you can deep breaths and perhaps close your eyes in order to calm yourself down. Likewise, if you find yourself laughing uncontrollably when everyone else seems serious or sad, garner your inner resources to at least change your facial expression if not your mood.

We all go through times when our emotions get the better of us. It is these times when our negative emotions cause us to think, behave, and respond in ways that are less than effective that we have to take control. Shakespeare said it best, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Use these tips to help change your response to situations and better control your emotions. Especially now, when our emotions are so heightened by what’s happening in our world and our lives today.

As I’ve shared before, part of being emotionally intelligent is to learn self-regulation. It is my hope that these tips help you improve your skills in this area.

When have you let your emotions control your behavior? Do you have any other tips or articles you can share which help in managing rampaging emotions?

The post 5 Tips for Getting Undesirable Emotions Under Control first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

How we feel about the day and our life is solely dependent on how we view the tasks we get to do over the next 16+ hours of our waking time.

We aren’t going to love everything we have to do during the day (I certainly don’t love cleaning the bathroom or doing the dishes), but our day should mostly be filled with things we look forward to.

Love Your Work

Does your job light you up? Do you feel excited and motivated to go to work? I’m not saying we have to love all the tasks, but we must find fulfillment and satisfaction for the most part in our chosen work.  If you don’t, maybe it’s time to consider another job. After all, most of us spend more than 8 hours at work and no amount of money is worth being miserable for more than half of our waking hours.

I don’t always love every task I have to accomplish in my work, but for the most part, I truly am grateful for the jobs I’ve held and the people I interacted with each day. It’s important that you too find what lights you up and utilizes your unique gifts and talents. If it’s at your current job or in your current role, good for you! If not, create a plan for getting the job and role you truly want.

The only caution I would share is to remember there isn’t a perfect job or company. There are companies and roles where we find a majority of the experiences are positive and utilizes our gifts. Be thoughtful in your choices, is the best advice I can share.

Love Your Home

Buying a home has been the American dream for all of us. I think it’s because a house represents a safe and nurturing place. When I visit my parents at my childhood home, I feel a sense of peace, joy, and gratitude that is hard to explain. My husband and I work on our own home to provide that same feeling to our kids.

Take a look around your own home. What do you love about it? What don’t you particularly like? Is there anything you can do about the things you don’t like?

Start to improve your surroundings. Moving into your dream house overlooking the ocean may not be an option right now, but you can paint your family room walls and hang up a pretty painting of the beach. Creating a home you love now will bring you a feeling of peace and security that you need after a busy day at work.

Love Your Pastimes

Even if you are in a situation where you can’t do much about your job or your home, there are other ways to fit into your day what you love. Find something you enjoy doing. It could be gardening, curling up with a good book, playing golf, photography, working out… it really doesn’t matter as long as it is something you love and enjoy.

As you begin to do the things you love at work, at home, and at play, you will find more energy, creativity, and more passion for the life that you have. And when this happens, you’ll see how much easier it is to accomplish those big goals you set for yourself.

The post Do What You Love- Love What You Do first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

My parents are truly my benchmark. They have always lived purpose filled lives. My dad was a doctor for over 50 years and, much like how a Marine is always a Marine, he will always be a healer.

When he was a young boy, we dreamed of becoming a doctor. His father wanted him to be a lawyer, like himself, but my Dad stood fast in his dream. Even against the desires of his father, my dad pursued his vision. There is much more to the story, but it’s not really mine to tell.

Let me just say, that my dad’s personal challenges in becoming a doctor still inspires me today. He had passion, vision, and a desire to do good in the world. And it’s that kind of commitment that leads to a meaningful and happy life.

So how do we find our true purpose (like my dad did)? There’s a quote by Dr. Albert Schweitzer that’s worth considering:

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others. “

Hmmmm. Finding one’s purpose becomes a lot easier when we think about it in these terms. What skills and qualities do you have that could be of service to others? How could you build your business, your job, and your life around these abilities?

By finding out how we can uniquely serve our communities, our families and therefore, the world, our lives will take on a bigger meaning. Human beings are social creatures and hardwired to help others. When we make it a daily goal to contribute our unique gifts, it’s a powerfully rewarding experience.

We’ll begin to experience happiness in the task and not only the results achieved. Part of this happiness will occur because of the gratitude or recognition for what we’re doing, but that’s only a small part.

Truthfully, doing good work will make you happy even when no one knows about it. There’s an internal reward built in. We know we are doing good so our self-worth grows and, with it, our self-esteem.

Take this for example: Say you work in an office and your work basically consists of filling out forms, answering the phone and putting in the 8 hours required of you. How does this make you feel?

Now consider how you’d feel if you knew the paperwork you completed helped a family find a better place to live? What if those calls you took ensured a little girl doesn’t go to bed hungry tonight? What if the class you taught helped a young mom stay home with her baby while still contributing to the family income?

What if you found your purpose – whatever it may be – and you knew it made a real difference in another person’s life? Wouldn’t that make you feel happier? Wouldn’t that give you a deeper sense of accomplishment?

I challenge you, as I am doing, to spend some time figuring out what you can do to help those around you. Think about the gifts, skills, and unique qualities that you have which could serve others and make a difference in their lives.

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Then figure out how to apply those skills at work, home, and in your communities. Your purpose is waiting! All it takes is for you to find the courage and the time to discover it!

Do you have a clear purpose and vision for your work and your life? If so, we’d love to hear your story.

The post How Discovering Your Purpose Can Make You Happy first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

Why is this? Think about the last time you bought something. Maybe it was at a fast food restaurant, grocery store, or Target. When you thanked the clerk, what was their response? For me, 9 times out of 10 it’s, “You’re welcome.” It’s not that I don’t love Maui’s song. Now I often hear that song playing in my head when I hear it and I smile at the person who triggered it. But, I would rather have had the person say, “No, thank YOU.”

That’s what I used to teach in all my sales and service classes for the past 20+ years. If a customer is purchasing from you and says thank you, you DON’T say, “You’re welcome.”

You say, “No, thank YOU.”

Why am I a stickler about this? It’s because I know the power of gratitude. It reminds me that the company I work for (or own) is only in business because of the people who are willing to support it’s survival. That’s the customer.

If you are a leader (i.e. business executive or owner), you have more than the customer to thank each day. You need to thank your employees, contractors, vendors, and service providers for the work they do to keep your doors open and the lights on. Even if the people working for/with you make a mistake, thank them for the things they are doing right to keep your business going.

Yes, you’ll have to work on any errors, issues, or mistakes and help your employees improve. That’s a whole different topic. But it’s gratitude that is a free and easy reward to give each day.

Think back to when you worked for someone else. Maybe you are in that situation right now. How often do they thank you for your contribution and sacrifice? Do you hear it daily? Weekly? Annually (at review time)? Or NEVER?

Don’t be that kind of leader or boss. Be grateful and show appreciation. Here are some low-cost or free ways to do this:

• Send a thank you email to your customer and don’t ask for an additional sale.
• Send a quick thank you note, text message or email to your employee thanking them for how they handled a difficult client or for completing the project.
• Allow your employee to have some paid time off without it affecting their PTO or vacation accrual. Even 1 hour early to make their kid’s school event can create long term good will.
• Send additional information about how the product or service your customer purchased can be used… some little-known tool or trick.
• Provide a small bonus. It can be a $5 Starbucks card or movie ticket. Both customers and employees would appreciate this little surprise.
• Decorate their cube or office for their birthday or work anniversary.

If you aren’t used to showing gratitude in words, try the small gifts or time off. There are also great ideas on the web. Do a search for low cost ways to reward your employees or appreciate your customers. There’s plenty of unique and fun ideas out there.

But don’t discount the power of communication. Telling your employees, customers, and partners, whether in written or verbal form, how much their contribution matters to you and the company goes a long way.

As you deepen your relationship with these key folks, you’ll see your business continue to grow and thrive for years to come. As an added benefit? You’ll feel better about yourself in the process. Practice gratitude and see.

What have you done to show your gratitude lately? How do you reward or show appreciation (low cost or free) to your customers, employees or business partners?

The post How Gratitude Can Improve Your Business first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

If you want to live your best life, then you need to find your passion and follow it. Sounds easy doesn’t it? It actually isn’t that hard so it’s surprising that so many people don’t do it and seem content to exist rather than living a life of happiness and success.

To change your life for the better and create a future, you can look forward to then follow the five steps below.

Step 1: Dream Big

Everyone has big dreams. What have you done with yours? Do you think about them, act on them or hide them away?

If you want to find your passion and purpose, then it’s time to dream big. List all of those big dreams you’ve had from childhood to today. No matter how wild or funny, write them all down.

Which of those dreams resonates most with you? Which makes your heart sing and inspires you the most? Is it realistic and achievable? If you’ve set your sights on being the first full-time resident of Mars, then you’ll probably need to take another look at your list and find something that is more realistic and achievable but almost as exciting to you!

Your big dream doesn’t have to be outrageous or huge. It just needs to be big enough to push you out of your comfort zone and willing to commit to making changes in your life so that you can achieve it. You need to want it. It needs to spark desire and passion in you.

Step 2: Set Goals

Once you’ve decided what your ideal or dream is then you need to set goals. Your end goal is what you want to achieve; your dream. There will be other, smaller goals, that you will need to achieve along the way. You need to note these down as well.

Step 3: Plan Your Way

Now that you know what you want and need to achieve, it’s time to plan what you need to do to get there. Think about what action you need to take, resources you will need and anything or anyone that can provide help and support.

Step 4: Take Action

You know what you want, how you can achieve it and the steps to take. It’s time to take action. Remember you are looking for a passionate life. One that fills you with excitement, joy and success.

Step 5: Live Your Best Life

Once you’ve started taking action on your goals and plans you will find that your life starts to improve. Instead of dreading each day you’ll look forward to it with excitement and anticipation. Your best life is the one that gives you happiness, success and achievement through living your passion and purpose.

If you want to find and live your passion, then you can follow the five steps above. You can do it on your own or you can give yourself a helpful boost by using a coach or mentor.

So tell me, how are you living your most passionate life?

The post Find Your Passion in 5 Easy Steps first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

How do you know if your business practices are efficient or not? There are 6 key elements of an efficient business process.

1. Short and Concise

Your business process description should be detailed, but also as short and concise as possible. All wording should be essential and directed at the goal of getting the task done.

A single business process should have no more than ten steps. If you outline all of the steps and find that there are more than ten, split the task into two related tasks. Each step is essential, but if you have a task with more than ten, you’ll find it unwieldy.

• Talk the Talk

The wording of business process documentation is critical. The way you write it can have a powerful impact on how your employees understand and perceive it. Also, if it’s worded in an awkward or difficult way, it will be hard to edit and improve.

Use everyday language that’s easy for members of your organization to understand. The tone should be informal and conversational. Write for clarity. Avoid using jargon or technical terms, and check to make sure the wording isn’t vague.

• Show the Big Picture

The focus of your business process documentation should be the task at-hand. All of the wording and every step should be directly related to getting the job done. However, wherever it would help, try to tie the task in to the big picture. Show where it fits into your overall business or what the intended result will be.

By showing the big picture, you put the task into context. This helps your employees understand how to most efficiently accomplish the work. When, while carrying out the work, they have to make a decision, they’ll make the right decision if they understand where it fits in and what it’s supposed to accomplish.

• Little or No Supervision

Create each business process so that it can be accomplished with little or no help from others. The employee shouldn’t need to consult with supervisors or seek the help of another staff member, unless it’s absolutely necessary. Each task should be designed for one person to do themselves.

• Make It Teachable

Each task should be understandable, but also teachable. You’ll need to teach it to your employees. The best-case scenario is that you can teach one employee and have them train others on the task. Think of your processes as a “how to” or guide to accomplishing the task.

• Include Multimedia

Wherever it makes the process easier, add images, videos, and other multimedia for reference. You can create a video to show the task step-by-step or use visuals to make it easier to understand.

The key is clarity. Write your business processes so that they’re lean with no extra, unnecessary information, but provide enough information to effectively communicate how it’s done.

The post The 6 Essential Elements of an Efficient Business Process first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

When this happens, you may end up trapped in indecision. Often this doesn’t mean picking between two things at all. Rather, you may need to decide between taking action or remaining stuck, keeping things the same versus making a change.

Fortunately, this is a common problem and there are some readymade solutions you can count on. One of these is the classic answer – a pros and cons list.

Using the List

As you know, the theory behind a pros and cons list is to make arguments for and against a certain idea or action. For example, say you are struggling with the idea of whether or not to leave your current job. You might make a list of advantages and disadvantages of leaving. Or maybe you’re deciding between two televisions for your home, the columns would instead be for each television and you’d write down the pros of each one.

You would then score each reason under each column and based on the highest score, you would have your answer, at least in theory.

Taking it to the Next Level Using Spreadsheets

The problem with the basic pros and cons list is that it tends to be qualitative rather than quantitative. In other words, just counting how many ‘pros’ an option has doesn’t really tell you whether this is the best alternative or not.

Instead, you need to, at the very least, quantify each score as well. This is where using a spreadsheet can come in handy. A spreadsheet allows you to enter a score for each answer which you choose based on its relative importance in making the decision.  Now the final score would give you a much better idea of how you really felt about each alternative.

Here’s an example of how this works for changing jobs. Note that your pros or cons for taking a job may differ. The ‘cons’ side is the perks that you’d possibly miss if you left your current job while the ‘pros’ is what you are hoping to gain.

As you can see, the ‘pros’ actually win, but not by much. Still, in the example above, you would most benefit by switching jobs. Check out this site for a free template which provides you with a link to download a version of this.

A more detailed version of a decision spreadsheet is one where you score a particular question along with the ranking of the importance of that question. Here’s an example of comparing buying a new TV.

As you can see, the column under “Rank of Factors” shows how much each of those criteria matters where 5 is the most important and 1 being least. In the example above, you can see that definition or image quality is very important along with getting interest free credit for 1 year. This is weighted most so in those categories, the TV that offers this will have a higher score. In the example above, the Panasonic ranked the highest with a score of 90. Here’s a link to this free template.

These are 2 ways to upscale the pros and cons list so that you can get a more definitive answer to your options. Many company buyers or purchasing decision-makers use one of these strategies to help narrow down their decision. Maybe you can see why this is a valuable way to help solve some tough problems.

Consider using one of these tools with your team if there are decisions that require group collaboration and compromise. You can generate some pretty powerful and insightful conversations by discussing the merits of certain features/benefits of each option. It may even allow you to learn more about what your team members value as well as their opinions of the problem and possible solutions.

What other tools have you used to help you make more qualitative decisions? Have you ever used a similar tool and how has it worked for you?

It is my hope that as leaders, we find a way to make better and more effective decisions in a shorter amount of time. Problems and their solutions can help to move the needle forward, if done correctly.

To your spirit infused leadership!

The post How to Solve Problems Using ‘Pros and Cons’ Lists first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

For example, let’s say your car won’t start and you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere? Suddenly you have a slew of potential challenges and problems running through your head. Maybe you think, “I’m going to be late!” Or , “I’m going to starve out here in the middle of nowhere!” Or even, “I’m cold, you’re scared with no one in sight to help!”

These may all be valid issues, but they are not the main problem.  In fact, in some cases thoughts like this can serve to distract you from dealing with the real issue.

So the first thing you need to do is take a deep breath, get a grip and define the actual problem.

Defining the Problem

What this means is to stop thinking about the surrounding issues and figuring out the one thing that is really causing the issue. In the example above, the problem is that your car won’t start. Forget the rest of the things that are running through your head. Focus instead on that one main problem.

Finding the Root

To clearly define your problem, it’s important to make sure that you are dealing with the root cause of the issue. The root of the example above is ‘your car won’t start.’ So this is where you begin to work on solutions.

Maybe you realize that after defining the problem as it won’t start, you realize you’ve run out of gas. HEre Suddenly the solution becomes clearer because you’ve broken it down.

Rewording the Problem

If finding the root hasn’t immediately solved the issue (i.e. you aren’t out of gas so it’s something else), then maybe try rewording the problem. In this case, think of your problem almost as an equation. By flipping it around while keeping the meaning answers often start to appear.

Here are some examples:

• Your car won’t start
• Your car is broken
• You have no mode of transportation
• You have no way of getting home

These last two ‘rephrases’ may start to offer up solutions. One solution to getting home is to call a friend or Uber- or maybe even staying at a hotel for the night. By rephrasing the issue you can view it from different angles which can offer different solutions.

Ultimately, by figuring out the root cause, you can come up with other possible and creative solutions. Yes, you may still have to get your car towed and find out the real cause (if it’s not lack of gas), but at least you won’t be stuck in the middle of nowhere, cold, and scared. Now about being late? Hopefully, you called whomever you were meant to meet to let them know. They will most likely understand. After all, everyone has faced car issues and we all know it’s no fun.

What problems have you faced that once you found the real or root cause you were able to solve? What other tips do you have for looking at a problem in a new way?

Being a person who lives and leads others to be spirit infused means knowing your values, your ideals, and purpose and chasing after it. Solving problems knowing what you stand for will ensure that even once the problem is gone, you won’t feel you have betrayed yourself and your ideals.

To living your best life!

The post How Defining A Problem Can Lead to Its Resolution first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

However, the specific problem solving skills required will always differ depending on the type of problem in question. And once you achieve these specific skills, you’ll have the power to overcome almost anything life throws at you with much more proficiency and effectiveness.

For instance, one way of getting better at problem solving is to address your ‘functional fixedness’. This is something that many people experience without realizing it and which can seriously impede their ability to find solutions to their challenges.

What is Functional Fixedness?

Essentially, functional fixedness is the inability to think of an item as being useful for anything other than its intended purpose. In an extreme case of functional fixedness then, you might not realize that a piece of cardboard could be used to stop a table from wobbling. Most of don’t experience functional fixedness to this degree, but it can affect us regardless.

The Candle Box Problem

A perfect example of functional fixedness is ‘the candle box problem’. Basically, this is a cognitive performance test where researchers provided participants a box which had tacks, a candle and matches.  The participants were then asked to attach the candle to the wall so that it will burn while staying elevated off of the ground and without it dripping onto the table below. Most people tried to tack the candle directly to the wall- which fails, of course- rather than realizing that the box itself is a resource. The correct solution is to empty the box of thumbtacks then tack the box to the wall and to stand the candle inside of it.

Just like many participants didn’t consider all uses of the items they had to solve the problem,  there are probably challenges you are facing right for which you have all the necessary resources, you just need to look at it a different way.

Overcoming Functional Fixedness

So how do we overcome our functional fixedness to solve our issues? The answer is to use a simple mental trick. Each time  you face a problem, break down the resources or things you have to use into their component parts. Don’t think about just items or tools, think about raw resources and possible roles as well.

For example, considering the candle box experiment, this means you don’t have candles and a box of tacks, you have:

• Candles
• A box of tacks
• A container
• Wood (the matches)
• Cardboard (the box)
• String/wick
• Wax
• A cylinder
• A cube
• A wedge

Suddenly you will start to see lots of options!

Can you see how looking at the problem and possible resources to solve that problem in unique ways could be your best solution? Just as participants who were able to see that they could use the thumbtack box as the holder for the candle was the right solution, you can do the same.

What problem do you currently have that you may be stuck in because you haven’t considered all the ways you can use your resources? For example, in business, you may have specific individuals with a certain job title, but they may have additional skills not currently being used. Have you reached out to all your employees to find out if there are other ways they can support the completion of the business goals?

By allowing others to use their skills beyond their current role, you are developing them and ensuring they are more engaged. Let’s not get stuck in our functional fixedness. Use your own creativity to seek new solutions to old or current problems. After all, isn’t that how many inventions were born?

The post Effective Problem Solving by Overcoming Functional Fixedness first appeared on Spirit Infused Leadership.

All of us want to be a better person whether it’s to make us better leaders or better friends and family members. We know that by improving ourselves, we can be stronger for those who need us. But figuring out how to do that consistently can be challenging. Here’s some habits that can help you on your quest for continual self improvement.  

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

One of the biggest stumbling blocks on our road to self-improvement is measuring ourselves- our accomplishments, our lives, our relationships- against someone else. In an article on Harvard Business Review, it shares that there’s a difference between drawing inspiration from someone and comparing. One is empowering and the other can be debilitating. It’s okay to have people who inspire you, but becoming a better version of yourself means becoming improving the actions you take and how you react to situations, not becoming a totally different person. If you base your progress on someone else, you’ll either never achieve your goals or achieving your goals will mean going against who you imagine yourself to be.

Read A lot

Warren Buffet was once asked about the key to success. He said, “Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it.” As one of the richest and most successful people in the world, it makes sense to take his advice.

In fact, there are many, many other successful people who read a lot and who have busy lives on top of it. For specific tips on how to find the time to read, check out this article on Inc.com.

Many successful people read self-help, instruction manuals or business books. If that’s what you enjoy reading, so be it, but know that there are other options for learning.

Non-fiction books can inform you about the world in general, these books can help you gain a deeper knowledge about your own interests. Say for example you like to travel. By reading various travel books, it can help you make decisions based on recommendations of those who’ve gone to the places you wish to travel to.

But what if you don’t like non-fiction? Well, studies have shown that fiction books help us to develop our sense of empathy. Empathy, as I’ve discussed in other articles, helps you become a better leader and person because it helps you to relate to the experiences of others. Becoming intimately interested in the experiences of another person, even if that person is fictional, can be good practice for developing our emotional skills when we interact with people in the real world.

For understanding how Empathy helps you become a better leader,  check out my article here.

Find an Accountability Partner

For anyone, change can be challenging. That’s why finding someone who can help you stay on course and keep you “accountable” is key. Work out a schedule for a meeting to discuss your personal or professional goals. Discuss where you are struggling and seek advice on how to get back on track, if necessary. This person may not be a close friend or someone you work with. It can be someone you meet through LinkedIn, a professional association, or a life coach. It can also be a friend, but make sure the rules are clear. You don’t need a cheerleader when trying to make serious changes. You need someone who will hold to your commitments and task due dates. You’ll see much more consistent and accelerated progress by having someone who won’t let you off the hook.

Quit Bad Habits

Habits are a pattern of behavior that is basically automatic. The behaviors you form can be either good or bad. Some you can clearly tell are good. Brushing your teeth every day, eating a healthy diet including veggies, being kind to others without expectation of gain. Others aren’t good for either you or the world. Smoking cigarettes (or vaping), not recycling, wasting water, etc. Looking at our habits and determining which ones aren’t serving us and which ones are, is key to becoming a better person. If you can transform those habits that keep you from being your best with others (or for yourself), you will be on your way to creating the person you envision to be.

Ask for Feedback

How can we know what to improve if we don’t ask for and accept feedback? It can feel painful. Who really wants to hear about their shortcomings or failures? But the reality is, you don’t know what you don’t know. You don’t know our blind spots unless they are shown to you by others. This doesn’t mean you randomly accept everyone’s opinion. But if you aren’t meeting a goal, connecting with certain people who are important, or you just feel stuck, getting insight from others can be truly helpful.

In our quest to become our best selves, one that is connected with our own deep spirit, we have to keep striving and growing. We have to be willing to accept that self-improvement is never-ending.

What tips or habits do you use to continually improve yourself? What challenges do you find yourself in which keep you from making the changes you long for?

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