Spirit Kid's Metaphysical Journey

Some Catch-Up and a Lucid Dream

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 05:17:00 +0000

So I wanted to take a moment to catch up, write down stuff that happened the past few months.

First I think ill start with a recap of what this blog was originally made for and still is. (since all the new readers) A journal, simply that. You will notice I don't have much of a posting schedule, I hate blogs that do but I suppose that has its purpose. I post when I think I have something worth saying or when something happens to me that I feel is important enough to be posted here, which is usually frequent enough. If you have any questions your welcome to ask, in the comments or to send me a e-mail although I have yet to get through the back-log.

Anyways I just want to say thanks to all the new readers for taking the time to read whatever random crap I happen to post. Maybe we will both learn a thing or two from each other.

Anyways onto the past few months. Not much has happened spiritually as I didn't meditate at all or even contemplate spiritual things. However I did have quite a few lucid dreams, not sure why they have never been frequent before. Lately they have come about once a week. Sadly they have all be rather short so I haven't had much time to really explore the dreamworld as much as I would like. However one lucid dream was both quite long and odd to warrant a post.

It was back on Oct. 31st I won't post it all here it was quite long but I just want to summarize the interesting parts right around when I became lucid. I was in what looked like a showroom for old muscle cars, some were also raised up as if they were being worked on. I was with 4 people, 3 I didn't know one was a old friend. I was in this same room a hour or so earlier in the dream with someone else but it wasn't important.

Anyways when I entered this large room again I immediately became lucid, I thought it was quite odd I came back to this room and I guess thats what triggered me to realize it was a dream. First thing I did was try to leave, there was nothing of interest to me in the room so I turned around and walked right back out the door into a dark hallway with no roof. As soon as I did, I felt the dream start to crumble and lose form, I walked back into the room and everything stabilized.

I again tried to leave and the same thing happened so I walked back in the room and ruled out leaving that way. I figured having a boring lucid dream in here was better than waking up. So I started trying to teleport to a new dream-scape but that didn't work. I couldn't teleport, or do any of the other fun dream activities like walking through a wall.

I decided to look around the room and explore a bit, I asked the people in the dream to look around for anything important, they did. I read random inscriptions on photos and scraps of paper around the room for a while. I'm not sure why, it was like I was looking for a message but never found one. Anyways about 20 minutes had passed I assume and I heard the front door open. We all turned and to a bit of a shock some kind of monster walked in. Ill try to describe this as best I can.

It was about my height, 6'1-2, was humanoid and wearing normal clothes. Only thing off was its face, it was brownish, with alternating shades of light and dark, with bits of what looked like mud or something falling off. No eyes, nose just holes where they should be and no teeth. It stared right at me and I knew something was wrong. It started walking towards me, I was about 15 feet away. I looked around quickly for a weapon, tried again to make a weapon appear, a sword I think but nothing came. It started to sprint towards me and within a second we were fighting.

It kept slamming me into the wall, none of the people with me were helping. It would try to bite at me and I was a bit horrified at this nasty thing. I punched its head a few times and it would just lose form almost like jell-o and then quickly reform again. I was barely holding my own against this thing when I heard the door open again. Standing in the doorway was a less intimidating man, human taller than me but of course it would be too easy if he was a simple human. He had 8 arms... as if that wasn't enough each one seemed to be about 3 feet long.

Of course I was his prime target and he charged right at me. Luckily for me, my friend intercepted him just before he would of started pounding on me. They started to struggle, I focused back on my own monster and was able to break free but as soon as I did the other thing grabbed me and pushed me back with force slamming me into the corner of the room. It had 6 of its 8 arms pinning me, with its other 2 it decided to punch me a few times. All of which hurt like real punches.

My friend ran over and at least stopped the punches and we began to struggle some more. Of course the other thing now joined in and started trying to bite me again... it was disgusting the last thing I wanted was its face to be on mine. I was just pissed by now even though we had only been fighting for about 5 minutes. I usually enjoyed these kind of fights in dreams but not when it was so uneven, or if it was, at least I could retreat any time I wanted.

I started trying to make a weapon appear, a gun, a sword, anything. No luck, I tried to get super-human strength and that didn't work either. Tried to slip through the wall I was pinned against to no avail. So I called on my guardian, I was sure at least He could enter the dream and help? Yelled his name a few times, he never showed up though... I started to wonder if it was a dream at all since I had NO dream abilities.

After another minute of fighting I just gave up. I gave one last punch right in the face of that thing and then yelled "WAKE UP!!!!!!!" and I did, immediately. I was never really scared in the dream because I was certain it was a dream and I could wake myself up. I doubt ill ever get the face of that thing out of my mind though, it was nasty.

Anyways the dream was interesting as you can see, I have never not be able to at least manipulate the dream on a basic level, like form a weapon in my hand. Sometimes the teleporting can be difficult though. I have also never been locked in a area of the dream. My only guess is that maybe one of those monsters wasn't simply a dream entity, perhaps it was a Astral Entity that entered my dream for some fun?

I think thats the only way something could block you from changing your own dream. Nothing like that has happened since, I had a few more lucid dreams but all were really short and nothing interesting to note.

Thats about the only thing note worthy from the past couple months, I have been looking more into Buddhism even though I don't agree with Buddhism 100% the fundamental tenets all seem correct from my experience so I've wanted to look more into it for over a year and finally am.

Anyways I still have a lot of stuff I want to post but will save it for later.

Till next time.

Suffering

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 06:06:00 +0000

Well I'm finally back, I have probably the most import blog post ill ever make here so I suggest my old friends and new readers (my views exploded while I was gone!) really take a moment to read this post.

As you may or may not know about 6 months ago I hit a pit in my life, I became severally depressed which was a huge change to what I am used to. In my life I have never been that depressed or in that much pain. I hope no one ever has to go through that, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know suicide is a taboo topic in society today but id like to discuss it openly. I was the closest to suicide I've ever been or every want to be. At once point, seconds from it and luckily for me 1 friend stopped that from happening.

I only knew him for a few months, we both met right around the time I got depressed and both were going through a lot. We met so randomly I almost can't believe it today. If I never met him id be dead right now... Not only did he save my life and for that I am eternally grateful but he also taught me indirectly the biggest lesson of my life. We will get to that in a bit, id like to explain my past few months a bit better before that.

I abandoned spirituality 5-6 months ago. I openly rejected everything I learned in the past few years and said screw it. I didn't care about it at all, I let my ego take over, and have full control. I rejected everything and lost control. As soon as I did that my depression went from a 1 to a 10 in a matter of days. It stayed at a 10 for months. I woke up with no reason to live, or go on. Thats a sad feeling, to have no desire at all to go on in life. To look at every aspect of life and only see more pain.

I started to look at suicide as a release, a way to get free from all the pain and suffering. I began to become obsessed with it, I craved death I welcomed it but I hung on day by day. Why? Because my friend... I couldn't leave him, he was going through the same amount of pain but it was different for him and I wasn't going to make it worse for him. So I hung on for months, we became extremely close and then about a month ago he got better.

He wasn't depressed any longer, he got over his main problems and was fixing his life. He would talk to me for hours trying to help me, wishing he could lift me out of my depression to. Thats when my ego took over... I started to hate him, I started to hate everyone around me. Every human being... old friends family members everyone. I was bitter, angry, jealous at everyone.

Even the person that was my only reason for still being here. I was filled with so much hatred, anger, and jealousy that I just started to drive a wedge between me and everyone. Those emotions came from my ego, I was tired of life throwing me the short end of the stick... I was mad at anyone that had what I thought of as a better life than me. It all climaxed about 2 weeks ago, I was at my end...

My only reason to survive was not there anymore, no one needed me as I saw it at least not to a major extent. I lashed out at him, others around me nearly destroying every friendship I had and was about to end everything when I had a thought. "You abandoned spirituality and look at you know? Your the worst you have ever been, why not 1 more shot?"

So I decided id try 1 last time for spirituality and after that I was done 100% with life. I went online doing research on various topics eventually I found my way to a Buddhist monk talking about suffering. She repeated something I have been told at least 100 times on my spiritual journey these past few years. "You create your own suffering." It didn't hit me right then but after the lecture ended I shut off my computer and laid in bed still feeling depressed as hell.

I just sat there in bed thinking about those words and then it hit me. It all made sense, I realized 100% what people all around the world have been saying for thousands of years. I started to laugh, I couldn't stop laughing it was hilarious to me that I was the most depressed I had ever been and I created it all.

For the last few months I had created ALL of the depression, I created ALL of the anger, ALL of the jealousy. I created the pit... I willingly went deeper and deeper into my depression nearly killing myself in the process. My friend indirectly taught me the most important lesson I have ever learned in this life. We create our own suffering... Now I always believed that concept to a extent but I never understood what it meant.

By allowing my mind to focus on all those negative things in my life I created more and more depression. I focused on all the painful memories from my childhood because I let myself, I wouldn't let them go. I wouldn't live in the present. For the past 6 months I have just been focused on either the past or the future but never the present.

That night which was a few days ago that I was laying in bed I felt liberated. Literally in a matter of 2 seconds I went from brink of suicide to the happiest moment of my entire life. A joy and happiness I never thought was possible. I smiled for the first time in months. As I laid in bed and thought about more and more of the things I was depressed over I realized I created everyone one of those. I let myself be depressed over them.

I can not stress enough how much you should meditate on that subject, us creating our own suffering. I know me saying it to you is just like everyone else that said it to me but once you realize it 100% and live it you will fell so much better...

Remember a year ago or so you can see in blog posts I know I talked about it before, about how I felt I was going to die in 2010? For 2 years I have felt a immense feeling of death for me in this year. I used to think I would die this year, then I thought it was others around me as this year began. Then 6 months ago when I got extremely depressed I thought it really was my death, my suicide. Now I know it was this, shedding something I have carried around for 18 years.

I feel so much stronger now then I did a year ago. I was at the brink and was able to pull myself back with the help of a friend. I think I faced my greatest fear, I don't think its gone but for now its defeated. I know I still have a long way to go on my path but I know for the moment it is suppressed and I can deal with it as time passes.

As for now I am getting back into spirituality again, which means ill be posting blogs although it will take some time to get back into things. I have a lot of physical things to do now that I didn't before so bare with me. (As well as a huge list of e-mails to reply to)

Anyways congrats if you made it through this post, I hope I didn't ramble I was trying to just speak my mind and not worry about what it came out as. I must go to sleep now its late, ill edit this tomorrow for mistakes.

Its good to be back...

Goodbye Everyone...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:54:00 +0000

I think its time for me to go. I've given up on my spirituality, so I am going to leave this place and focus on my life as best I can. I'm unplugging myself completely from the internet for a while. I might be back in a few months, or pop in here and there but I can't be sure.

I was finally over all the shit I had been going through this past few weeks but then it got even worse. I was ok with my life being shitty, and all the bad things that happened to ME but in the past week ive seen so many friends and family hurt. They don't deserve it, it makes no sense. I couldn't have chosen this life for myself, I wouldn't have made it this bad.

I just can't stand to watch the people around me in so much pain, its a thousand times worse than everything thats happened to me. I wish I could just absorb it all for them, have it all happen to me so they could have better lives but I can't. I tried...

It makes me wonder a lot... Honestly if I could blow this planet up I would, I think this society is just to screwed up. The earth failed in my opinion it would be better if it got to try again. Society is responsible overall for all the wrong and people just don't care.

A friend said he was going to kill himself a few hours ago. I've never seen him that upset, I can't blame him though all he was going through at that moment. It was more than enough to make normal people crack but somehow he held on this long. I hope he doesn't do it, I begged, pleaded, called him repeatedly, tried to contact the police but its to late now.

I'm just hoping hes not dead, because I don't think ill be able to go on if I lose another person right now. Like I said, and I think some of you will understand, its easy to get through yourself being hurt, but having to stand by and watch friends get hurt is way worse. I've had to watch him spiral down for the past few days, trying to tell him everything would be alright. Trying to be there however I could. I know I did the most I could, the rest is up to him. Its his choice, and I hope he chooses to live. Not just for him but for me, he was the only person that ever understood me. That understood all the problems I had faced, the effect they had on me and all that.

Anyways like I said, i'm finished with spirituality, I don't care about it anymore. I don't believe any being would choose to go through all this. I know what I experienced was true, I don't deny my experiences. I just don't think its for me anymore, I just want to live. I want to live out the rest of my life, helping those few that rely on me so much and one day will pass on and move on to my next life. Ill be glad when that happens, because this place is like hell for me.

I'm leaving this blog up, for anyone else on there spiritual journey. I believe its still a good thing, and earth would benefit so much from experiences like mine. I wish you all the best, I truly do. You all helps me so much, each in your own way.

I started this journey back in 07, I was so happy then. The happiest I've ever been in my life. There were about 6 of us who all started at basically the same time. We had a lot in common and would get together and talk for hours sometimes. Sharing experiences, getting opinions, and helping each other through anything bad. Then each one started to drop, soon I was the last one still going strong. I felt bad for them, but there was nothing I could do. Now out of our little "Soul Group" I'm finally giving up as well.

So I wish all my readers and people I knew from various spiritual and energy working communities across the internet good luck on your journeys whatever they may be. Ill never completely stop I guess, at least not energy working but for now im taking a break that may last for years.

I'm only focusing on my writing, completely. Who knows you might see a book by me out soon. Check back from time to time, ill make a post if I ever return.

Peace! (Remember when I used to end my posts with that? Nostalgia!)

Dealing

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 15:16:00 +0000

So I was a mess again last night as I tried to meditate but oddly something was off. I couldn't cry... I was sad but I couldn't even get my eyes to water which was very strange. I tried to connect to my guides... to my higher self but couldn't at all. I just couldn't meditate when I was feeling that down there was no way to focus so I asked for them to meet me in a dream which didn't happen.

I kinda understand why... I mean I already had a pretty big dream explanation of all this crap, I don't think I really need another. (Trying to keep this post focused and not just depressed rambling)

Emotions... I guess this just proves im human. I think this is one of the greatest things we can experience has humans. Emotions that can tug us to such lows or such highs. Two days ago when I was experiencing extreme sadness and happiness at the same time the entire day was insane. It was nothing like "Bittersweet" it was as if feeling two separate emotions at the same time.

Damn its times like these that make me see the bigger picture a bit, I met a friend just 4 weeks ago and hes helped me so much in this little depressed moment. More than any of my friends that I've known for 10+ years have. So I am thankful I met him, were both pretty fucked up and have the most in-common i've ever had with any human being despite living on opposite ends of the earth.

I think we both kinda spiraled into depression last night... Which turned into a pity party at 2am. A bittersweet pity party... I feel so bad for how bad his life was but at the same time happy.. "Finally someone understands!" I was saying repeatedly.

So I'm not burying my life anymore... at all.. I'm just moving on and not hiding it anymore. I wont bury any of this again so ill probably be a bit depressed for a while. I wouldn't read any more of these posts without shielding.

Almost....

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:23:00 +0000

I was almost ready to write a positive post... till 5 minutes ago. Since the last post my emotions have been nuts. From a even lower point to a very happy point. I begged my Higher Self for answers and i got them. In the form of a VERY detailed and vivid dream that is to personal to post here. I am THANKFUL for that I tried to talk to the new guide but got no response however I felt the presence which was so peaceful it helped a lot.

I was nearly fine until tonight, but then all hell broke lose for me emotionally and I sunk even lower. It started with a friend pouring there heart out to me... all there troubles so many... but still in my own selfish comparison the whole time I was saying in my head "Your life is great compared to mine stop complaining" Which isnt fair at all to them. But I found myself saying it over and over in my head. Then... I snapped and went off on them,. I guess maybe it was me just wanting to say "EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS ACT POSITIVE IM CRYING INSIDE!" but it was not the right way to do it. I just lost a friend over that. A good friend... it ended badly theres no apologizing after all we said back and forth.

Im human though... im allowed to snap? Right? Well i think ive done enough good in this world to snap once in a while. Its just I know tomorrow im gonna feel so guilty over it. I already do.

It brought EVERYTHING back up. I think its supposed to happen though, the past few days ive just been SLOWLY burying it.. not dealing with it at all. Going through tiny bits but not doing a thing at all. I mean my mom thinks im happy, she would have NO IDEA this is the most depressed ive been my entire life. As soon as everyone goes to sleep I just break down because I know they can't hear. I went on a bike ride till like 5am the other day.. just in tears the entire time thinking.

I think thats the first step though... At least im not snapping at anyone that doesn't deserve it. Like my ex-friend... I haven't even tried to meditate yet, every time I tried I just couldn't focus. Every-time i laid down my mind would think about the shit and never let me focus. I tried to pull the negativity away but because I am producing it myself it didn't help at all.

I feel so bad for being to this point but in all honestly if I got shot walking down the street tomorrow and died right there... I would be happy because it would mean I dont have to deal with this anymore. Would I kill myself? no... not in a million years, thats not me. not unless everyone that cared about me died, because i refuse to cause anyone else more pain from my death.

My entire life I have tried to be the strong one... Holding my mom when she was crying and acting like I wasnt hurting inside and then as soon as everyone went to sleep crying silently in the corner. I just can't do it anymore but at the same time I don't wanna break down in front of everyone. I guess this entire time I've been wishing someone would hold me....

You know... a writer friend once told me... writers have such a bad life so they can write better. It pisses me off so much if thats why I'm going through all this. I mean all the shit thats happened to me comes through in my writing, it usually has a dark undertone but not depressing. I see exactly what he means when he says that, i can connect to my characters and make the reader sad. But ive never had a happy ending in my life, so I can never seem to write one into my stories. It always ends bad usually. Writing is a kind of release for me I guess, i get to tell people my story through my writing and they never even know.

I keep flashing back though, to those nights when I was 8-14 just in so much pain that no one knew about. Just sorrow WISHING, BEGGING it all just to end. I was hoping and praying to god to just end it all. (I still was christian then somewhat) I hated "God" for all of the shit that happened to me. I thought it wasn't fair and would just cuss "God" out for hours somethings. It helped... having someone to blame for it all. Now I know the only one I have to blame is myself, i chose this for myself.

I don't know why I chose this... My past life seemed so happy compared to this but I did. I put myself through all this for a reason. At the moment my life seems over and decided for me in all honesty. I don't see a way out, i feel like I have lived my life and in a few short months when my mom dies the rest of me and my freedom will die with her.

That scares the hell out of me to be honest... I would love for her to be alive for just a few more years. I guess im just jealous of some of my friends, including my best friend... He has a perfect life and look at mine? I've always envied what he had. Even though I never told him that and he never understood but I did secretly. I guess wishing I was him.

But my life was basically decided before I was born and now I have to deal with all the crap that for some reason was put on my plate. I am not burying this anymore.. in fact after I hit publish im going to ride my bike... for hours even though its 12am. Ill ride it until I can come home and sleep without breaking down in tears like I have the past few nights.

Tears...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:26:00 +0000

Last night I just kinda broke down, I can’t really say why. I was fine leading up to actually going to sleep but as soon as the lights went out and my mind started to think about things like it always does I just couldn’t handle it. Maybe this why for the last few years I’ve always fell asleep with music on, not that I need the music to fall asleep its just it keeps my brain from thinking for hours, I used to do that when I was younger at night.

I’m not really the crying type at all, I probably haven’t cried that much since I was 14 and going through some shit. It was definitely the lowest point since I’ve been awakened. I just laid there with a overwhelming sense of dread about my entire life and what was to come. It just all seemed pointless, like my life was one big joke.

I guess im not surprised I broke down like that, im surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. I honestly have no reason to be happy, I really can’t explain why I have such a positive outlook usually even when things are pretty bad. I must of laid there for 3 hours or so just in a super depressed state. I used to enter it a lot before I awakened I guess. I still had my positive outlook my entire life and wasn’t really a kid that just sat around depressed at least not in public. I tend to hide my problems, cover them up and surprise it till im alone. I think that’s what was probably happening here, I suppressed all this for the past 3 years and it just exploded to the surface.

I guess I should explain, although I don’t plan on going into detail about all my problems here. Its just I have no reason to be happy at all. I’m not even exaggerating I have never met another person in my life online or offline that has had a worse life than me. Sure I can find any number of people that have worse lives than me but I have never actually met someone with one. I kinda wish I did, so I had someone to relate to and just say. “At least its not as bad as XXXXXX”

When I was growing up is was pretty hard sometimes, dealing with shit I shouldn’t have to. Things no kid should have to. I didn’t even realize the things that depressed me now the most till about a year ago. That’s when things started to click and I realized my life was already determined basically. I hate that… Its like I don’t even get a chance. Its just another unfair hurdle in my life, except at least at the moment I see no way around it, im just running towards it and im gonna crash and burn as soon as I hit it.

I always wondered if my whole life was just one sick joke to some higher being watching from some place else. If something else found it funny to watch me in so much pain at times. When I was younger and still basically Christian I found myself hating god. My friends knew It as well, id make remarks all the time. I just couldn’t imagine some good being putting someone through all this. I was close to suicide seriously only once in my life, when I was probably about 14. I just saw no way out, but suicide is and always has been out of the question. I won’t cause my family and friends the pain of my committing suicide. I REFUSE to cause that much pain to that many people.

I’m just tired of doors closing and locking before I even have a chance to turn the handle. I want the option to succeed but its like every door is locked by the time I reach it and no matter how much I kick it just wont open. I’ve kinda gotten used to it after nearly 18 years of this. When ever something got good something worse was right after it that seemed worse then before.

Actually looking back on this it probably all came to the surface after something that happened about a week ago. I met someone, briefly at least. We seemed perfect for each other, id almost call it love at first sight, just talked for hours and hours. Which is exactly why I broke it off before it went anywhere. There was just no point of me getting in a serious relationship with someone. I think it would just hurt us both more in the long-run.

Anyways sorry for this depressing post, if you don’t shield you probably just got a blast of negative energy. It was all around me last night, from a energy working standpoint I could feel the negative energy collecting in my chakras and energy body. Its still there now, ill clean it out later. I’m just going back to suppressing all these feelings, sure its really does look impossible to get over these hurdles that were set in place before I was even born but I guess if I’m gonna crash and burn I should enjoy the little sprint before I run into it full force.

Hope your having a better day than me.

June 1st and Mystic Fires

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Well today is the first of June, starting today I'm going to start getting more serious with my writing and physical future. It seems things are coming together to pull me more and more away from the internet and the communities I joined when I started. Which is fine by me, its a new beginning anyways. I feel like as I move forward with this new stage ill probably gain a lot more then I have in the last couple years.

This is also why I started a new site, a Blog just like this called Mystic Fires. Mystic Fires is going to be a site for me to post guides and teach about a variety of metaphysical topics. Something a lot of people have been asking for, ill probably refer to those posts here whenever I need to explain something. Now I don't think im qualified to really teach, I have a strict personal rule of no "Blind leading the blind" So I won't teach what I don't have some experience in. I haven't found a good site in the past couple years for just articles on a variety of metaphysical topics with teaching instructions so perhaps this will be a start of something new.

LINK TO MYSTIC FIRES (CLICK)

I am also trying to find a list of Metaphysical Oriented blogs if anyone has some to suggest leave me a comment please. Anyways thats all for now, gonna go make the first post on Mystic Fires.

Abduction Dream

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Sat, 29 May 2010 08:11:00 +0000

Well last night I had a whole string of dreams, ending with a terrifying abduction dream. However I don't think it was a actual experience, ill explain after. Below are all the dreams in order.

Dreams - May 28th 2010

1st dream, It started with me in my 9th grade lit class. I was with friends and apparently there was some story contest, a contest I got 2nd place in the year before (Which in the dream I had a whole elaborate memory of this contest as if I really had experienced it). Except I was sick and literally had 24 hours to write something. I was working with a friend, and working like mad to get one out apparently the other contestants sucked really bad and it had a few thousand dollar prize so I ended up throwing something together and my friend proof read it for errors and stuff. No idea if I won, dream ended before i even turned the thing in.

2nd dream, Sex dream (No need to go into detail, although interesting to note this is the first sex related dream I have had all year which is kind of odd.)

3rd dream, i'm in some kind of place getting a job, the job is helping old people. Its really weird they have a bunch of different older rich people that all have odd jobs they need people to preform and pay money for it. I ended up with some old guy that needed someone to help fix stuff, paying like 16 a hour and was regular work. I was happy, went to his house and he was kind of a grouch. We worked on something, a engine I think and then the dream ended.

4th dream, me my father and someone else are going to another country. We have to buy something, we get to the airport and go through security, get on the plane and get to the country. When we get to the airport we get on some kind of plane, like a Cessna except it flies weird for a Cessna, handles to well and can do vertical take off. We get to this small little village like area with 3 houses. There are 3 people already there and they say they are on vacation in this little spot.

They offer to let us stay and we do so, that night as I'm inside the place sleeping local police show up. They are looking for us as if we had done something wrong. The guy that came along with us starts to shoot at them as they approach the house. I dive on the ground, thinking hes nuts and then the cops return fire. Bullets start hitting all around, some guy throws me a revolver and I take aim out the front window firing a shot then getting down. (No idea why because when the guy started shooting I was thinking of tackling him)

We all run through the house to some secret area, a hidden room and barricade inside it. Dream ends.

5th Dream, Abduction dream -

It starts in my current house, i am sleeping on the couch like I was last night and I wake up. My father has also just woke up, (he happens to be staying as well for the time being) he runs over to the back window and looks up. I start to freak out as I hear a sound and I realize what is going on. I begin to get terrified. Very strong emotions, if it was just a dream I really believed it was real. I was lucid slightly and didn't think it was a dream.

I get up looking from side to side and then a light starts to shine through the front living room window. I turn and to my shock see a alien, VERY small maybe like 2 feet, very skinny, not like any I have seen before. Its right at the window, standing there looking at me. Hard to explain what it looked like, it was standing on two feet, its body like 6 inches wide, and weird shaped head and two tiny yellow eyes.

Then I start to float, so does my father and we both start to go towards the window slowly instead of up through the ceiling which is the normal route when they start the floating. I start to thrash around violently trying to break what ever they are doing. Kicking around in the air, and staring at the creature knowing if I could just grab it I could so easily kill it. As I slowly get closer to the being I start to try energy work, to break any psychic or energetic hold it has on me but it doesn't work. As I get 2 feet from the window my two feet touch the table in-front of the window and I place both feet on it and kick off. Which works and sends me slightly back but i'm still floating.

At this point I hear a voice in my head, sounds like me. Its yelling, "Its a dream! Just wake up!" As if it was trying to comfort me, this was the most terrified id been in a dream since the original abduction memory I recalled a year or so ago. The being standing at the window starts to speak except its not english, I couldn't make anything out it was kind of high pitched, almost like a pig or something but definite shapes in the sounds that I think were words. Then I woke up to find it really was all a dream, I was breathing heavy when I woke up and sweating. I wrote that dream down and went back to sleep since it was a bit early but had no more dreams.

Now I think that dream was either completely just made up by my subconscious or partially its hard to say. The alien looked nothing like I had ever saw, not even remotely like the ET on the ship, its also nothing like any ET I have heard about. It spoke in some weird language which doesn't fit since they always like telepathy in my experiences. I was floating towards the window instead of through the ceiling which is normal and theres really no reason to send me through the window. I also still had control of my body while in the air its just I was not on the ground.

However, everything leading up to it was very normal, waking up the sound of something outside like a ship, the light the emotions of being terrified like that. My father being in it and all which I believe he is abducted as well but never had a dream like that with him in it.

Even more strangely for the past couple months I have had no abductions that I can recall, no memories, dreams, weird marks or things on my body. So I assumed they either stopped for a bit or got a lot better at hiding it/blocking the memories. (Which they are known to do, sometimes they will stop for years at a time.) If it was partial that means i've had a abduction in this house already, if it was completely made up then its still puzzling.

Why did I hear myself calling out to me? Telling me it was a dream? Thats never happened even in scary dreams, or the first abduction dream I had that scared the hell out of me. It was almost like it was a scenario or something, and something was watching not wanting me to go through all that.

On another note, I need to go to the doctor. Been having some strange things going on physically and need to have some tests/bloodwork done but i'm kind of putting it off. I don't want my mom to worry, she always does over the stupidest crap and it doesn't make her health issues any better. So my plan is to wait till im 18, which isn't that far off then I can go to the doctor without having to tell her. Since its likely to come out as everything is fine or be something minor and since its not a real emergency I can put it off.

Will be the first time i've been at the doctors in years xD I promised I would never go again, just because I don't believe it will do any good to pump my body full of drugs for minor things like colds. All my health issues until now have been easily fixable through energy healing and a healthy diet. I'm sure like last time ill go in and come out with a whole bag full of drugs for things I never went in for in the first place and just end up throwing them out.

The doctor assured me I had a very serious infection and illness... when I came in for allergy meds. Got my allergy meds never took all the antibiotics and what do you know 24 hours later the allergy's were gone and that "Serious infection" never seemed to do anything...

Violent Dream and thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Tue, 25 May 2010 05:29:00 +0000

Well I had.. my most violent dream to date. Now I have always had violent dreams, it was a common theme but this is the first where I was actually attacking someone and it wasn't self defense. Ill discuss why and more after for now here is the short dream, warning its violent and i'm going into detail.

May 22nd 2010

I'm in my current house, in the kitchen looking at a man standing in the door. I am filled with anger, rage and hate for this individual. I turn to the counter picking up a large knife and put it behind my back. I begin to walk towards the man keeping the knife hidden, he turns to look at me with a weird look on his face probably because I had such a pissed off gaze. As I close the distance a women screams behind from behind me.

I take the last step and pull the knife out slashing right for his neck, he pulls up his arms in a natural defense but its not fast enough. Blood shoots out right from his neck, some landing on me and he falls down to the floor. Hes gasping for air, gargling blood and looking up at me as if to ask why I did it. The women behind me is screaming still, she is dialing the police. I stand over him for a few seconds and then reach down and put my left hand around his neck, choking him even though I know hes dead either way.

Blood begins to ooze out of my hand and all around it and I feel a calming feeling over my body. I remove my hand, happy that he is dying and turn towards the door. As i walk towards the door I hear him taking his final breaths and he stops breathing. I walk out of my house onto the porch and just sit down on the steps now covered in blood. I set the knife down at my feet and wait, happy with what I did but knowing whats coming next. Within a minute or so a police car pulls up, the cop aiming a gun at me but I am in a daze. A happy/sad moment for me, happy that man is dead sad because I know my life is over at that point. The cop walks up, still ordering me to the ground and kicks the knife away. Then grabs me pushing me to the ground while they handcuff me.

More police arrive and a ambulance and i'm put into the squad car, the medics go in but never bring him out, hes dead. The cops keep looking at me in the car wondering why I killed him, but I just sit there still in a daze thinking about it all.

Now the reason I had that dream is because I went to sleep very emotional. I was pissed even to the point of murder with that man that I killed in the dream. I am however disappointed in myself that I would allow even in a extreme case like that for my emotions to take over and cloud my judgment. I could of potentially ruined my entire life if I followed those emotions that night. Ill be working on fixing that in the future, and hope no one ever gets me to that point again.

As for my new spirit guide, its been a tough week and i haven't been able to connect not that I really tried. I moved into a new house still have a lot of boxes and stuff to put away, I went through some emotional crap and just started insane amounts of bike riding on my new bike which is leaving me pretty dead and tired by the time I would normally meditate. So for now that is on hold, at least for a week.

I have a lot of physical things to take care of, and spiritual things will take a back seat from now on. I have to remind myself i am a Spiritual Being having a Human Experience not the other way around. So from now on thats how ill sort the two.

Ill probably post again soon, I have a lot to talk about with this move but just don't have the time.

New Spirit Guide, Time travel

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Tue, 18 May 2010 01:24:00 +0000

Well last night was a interesting night, first real meditation I have done in a while. First time I have seriously connected with my guide in a while as well. I haven't been calling my guide Gukumatz much lately, just didn't really need any guidance however I was thinking about the topic of Time Travel and decided to call him to see if he had any information to give me on the subject.

When I called out I just generally called out to my guides, but I have only actually had one guide until now. When I called out the first thing I felt was another entity, which came to the left of me. The guide felt very powerful, pure and good and feeling much different to what i feel when gukumatz hangs around. Gukumatz is more of a Powerful, neutral feel not really good or bad. I kept seeing a vivid flash of bright white light in my third eye. This new guide is a situational guide I assume, not a life guide like gukumatz is. So this guide probably came around to help with something specific I am going through now, probably has something to do with the whole death/rebirth thing I went through.

I didn't try to connect to the guide though, Gukumatz showed up seconds after the first guide and I wanted to talk to him. I explained I would call for it tonight and attempt a more personal connection, I didn't want anything I was going through at that moment to effect our first meeting. Since the mind is a powerful tool, when your slightly emotional or not 100% prepared and focused its best to not try to connect unless you want to doubt anything you receive. Its good to have a solid foundation of experiences with guides when your starting out, dismiss anything you can't verify as definitely not your minds creation they won't get annoyed and will understand.

When I met Gukumatz it was amazing at the time, I called out to him, felt a presence almost immedietly then started to feel connected. It started with seeing bright flashes of blue and green then a vision came. Of a serpent-dragon creating a city. I was shocked at first, and asked to see it again and immediately the same vision went through my mind. Using what I was in the vision I did online digging and realized what the vision was the Mayan creation story of the god Gukumatz creating the land. Something I had never heard of before so it couldn't of just been my mind making it up or a coincidence it fit perfectly.

Anyways then I began to meditate, talking to Gukumatz explaining my questions about time travel and a experience I had a few months back with time travel. However I got no response, even though I know he was there. However while I was meditating in the lotus position he kind of coiled around me, i felt a massive amount of energy all around my body. I don't know why, he never did that before but he has two forms a human form and a Serpent dragon form, he usually takes the human for to communicate with me but always comes in the Serpent form.

I felt a single message in my mind from him after that, which was "Go ahead" with the time travel idea I had. I had been thinking about my life and a particular strange event that had not only major significance to me physically and spiritually but the possibility that something intervened that day to protect me making what could of been a deadly situation into just a dangerous one.

My goal was simple, go back in time to a few minutes before that happened, not physically of course and send myself a single worded message. "Run" was the word I choose, figured short and blunt would be best. So i did, after a few minutes i found myself floating around that same spot, only a minute or so before it happened. It was weird seeing my younger self in a third person way, as soon as it began I tried my best to simply connect to my past self and yell "Run!" as loud as I could trying to make sure I (or me?) heard me.

It appears I did, in some form or another, because I ran unlike what I actually did in this time-line which was stand my ground. I ran however that caused more problems, a equally bad situation and I was soon wondering if I just made things much worse. I started worrying as I watched the events unfold which only lasted a few minutes, the three people chasing me were gaining speed quick and I wasn't going to get away. So I attempted to intervene again...

This time, I quickly attempted to kill one of the people chasing me. From a energy standpoint I could think of only one way that might do it considering I had maybe 20 seconds to do it. That was to simply pull a massive amount of energy and quickly overload a certain system in the energy body, the plan was to cause a heart attack. (I am being vague here on purpose) So as soon as I did that, just as I was hoping for the person who was then only feet behind me dropped to the ground, the other two stopped to see what was wrong and my past self continued running for a while till I guess felt safe and took a breather.

It was really weird to experience this, was this just some elaborate creation from my mind? Running through the scenario? It might have been, it felt real. It seemed very real to me at the time but the mind is a powerful tool. There was no effect to this timeline so as soon as I intervened did I create a new timeline for what ever past self I visited? Whos life will now be forever changed because of what happened on that day?

Did I kill someone in another timeline? If i did was that morally right? In the heat of the moment I would say it was, but looking back on it its not a reason to kill someone over, however if my past self had a gun there would of been three people dead that day. Which would of fell under self defense. It was strange and left me feeling rather emotional at the end, the entire time i was there I felt connected to my past self and experienced his emotions. This just brought up a lot of bad memories from those days.

Then I felt the other guide again, a relaxing calming feeling came over me. The emotions were gone and I felt back at peace again, then I felt a hand on my right cheek, as if the guide was trying to comfort me in some way. A very cool tingling sensation right on the side of my face, that sent chills down my spine. With that the guide left, and I felt incredibly relaxed and at peace with the situation.

I have no idea if that whole time-travel episode actually had a effect on anything, obviously it didn't effect my time-line, which makes sense or else our time-line should be changing so many times as people go back in time and change minor things that turn out to be major things. For instance, the person I may have killed could of cured cancer for all I know, although I highly doubt it lol gang-members usually don't have PhD's.

Either way it was probably the best experience of this year so far, and tonight I plan to properly connect to my new guide to find out more about her (I think its a she) and her purpose.

Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 12 May 2010 18:44:00 +0000

Two posts in one day? O_o

Well turns out a family member was diagnosed with cancer today... What I wanna know is what is with people in my family getting cancer, i believe I have two genetic eh markers? that increase the chance of cancer both from my fathers and mothers side.

Anyways while its sad that they may die from cancer I feel a odd sense that it happened for a reason. The past couple months I have been looking into cancer and how to cure it, simply after a discussion on another forum where they believed it was impossible to heal cancer through energy work.

I find that utterly hilarious actually, i don't think it would be easy to healer cancer through energy work alone but to say its impossible or stupid to try in stupid. So today ill start researching the specific cancer as best I can, then devise a attack plan so to speak. Ill probably attempt a hybrid of that healing technique I spoke about a few posts ago and some more specialized techniques I have used before on less serious illnesses that seemed very effective.

I will not however be telling them I will be healing them, don't know all the details on if there cancer is terminal or not, either way I assume they will be getting some form of treatment unless its just to far gone for that. It is serious however and likely wasn't caught very early. In some cases it can be much easier to heal someone who has no idea you are trying so there mind cannot block the healing, as long as the person isn't convinced they will die it should be easy for the healing to at least have a effect. Although i'm not sure how exactly i'm to heal it if they are going to be nuking there body (Chemo) as I would assume that would probably undermine anything I do.

Will see though, what ever happens ill try my best and thats all you can really do when it comes to healing. Give it your best shot and if you fail at least you tried. I however am very confident cancer can be healed through energy working alone if you know what your doing. Will keep you updated as I learn more.

Is war needed?

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:27:00 +0000

So today I was discussing if war was necessary. Sadly I think it is, even from a spiritual standpoint where I understand violence really will never solve the problem I understand at least for now on earth war is a necessary element to society.

We will never, at least not until society evolves spiritually be able to just put down our weapons and stop fighting. Diplomacy cannot solver every problem, do you think the Taliban is going to just talk it out?

We are a very aggressive species, its in our instincts to be aggressive and territorial. As long as we remain true to our egotistical ways war will always be a necessity to this world. I am the warrior type, i'm not much of a pacifist, i understand sometimes violence is the only way. While it should be left as a last resort sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

As someone on youtube said about the subject, "Some doors do not have a key, sometimes you just gotta kick that fucker in." and thats the truth.

Problem is with violence you always create more violence, so you really don't solve anything which is why it needs to be used as a last resort because you won't solve the main issue. When we accidentally kill civilians in the middle east we basically turn there family into more enemies, if someone came into your city and killed your family members you would probably want to kill them to. Collateral damage is a part of war though, sadly innocent people get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

From a spiritual standpoint, I think if a society evovles spiritually and completely then war is not neccesary because both sides would likely never get to the point where war between each other is a possibility. However we live in a Universal society and no matter how peaceful things get on earth we should ALWAYS be preparing for the possibility of a attack from another world.

We are getting to the point where that is a real possibility and we would be fools even if earth was peaceful to stop developing new weapons. (War always brings new weapon technologies) Which is why I think the most recent nuclear treaty is bad for the planet, I agree we don't need any more warhead since we can already kill ourselves MANY times over but we shouldn't stop developing stronger and stronger nuclear weapons, eventually we may need to use those to defend this blue little rock.

Fact is I don't think the galaxy is a peaceful and peachy, it may be but even if it is at any moment a group of beings from another galaxy might come and try to kill everyone here. Its just how life is, there is always a bigger fish and I would rather be safe then sorry. I think any society, even a spiritual one would see that they could be forced into war at any time, they would like adopt some kind of defensive stance on war and develop technology for such a use. We hear about bad ET's all the time, so it wouldn't surprise me if there's wars going on in the galaxy right at this moment.

Bringing it back down to earth, war will always be a necessity and common thing in this planets history if we continue to fight over soil and draw imaginary lines in the sand. We need to evolve to a point when we stop seeing each other as American, British, Nigerian, Chinese, Brazilian, etc. and see us all as Earthlings. However a global society that sees itself as one unit is FAR off and you better believe there will be some bloody wars to make it so.

So when people ask me what nationality I am, I usually like to respond that I'm human. Because petty fights over where someone was born is a waste of time. If your born in a desert, a forest, plains or a mountain your still born on EARTH and there's no reason you shouldn't be allowed to go to this patch of dirt simply because you were born on another patch of dirt.

A New Healing Method and Overview on Linking

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Mon, 10 May 2010 18:47:00 +0000

So a few days ago I learned of a new healing method, one that I have yet to try but the person I learned it from I respect and am sure there is at least some truth to it. I mean it makes logical sense from a energy perspective. This method is not for beginner but anyone with a basic grasp should be able to do it.

Alright lets get down to teaching it, the basic outline of how you heal with this method is to first clean there energy body out (Aura/energy body cleansing would work here) get all the gunk out and crap out then access your network. By network I mean the links you have made through out your life to many many people. Access this network and begin to draw energy off every single person. Draw a massive amount of energy, give it the intent to heal and then place it into the persons energy body.

Thats the basic outline of it, this as I have heard is a technique to heal major problems not colds. The person I heard this method from had a friend with HIV, they were in bad shape and the doctor said they would be dead within a few days. The person went home, did the method and survived, they didn't cure the HIV but they survived what the doctors said would kill them without a doubt. It freaked the doctors out apparently but like I always say don't believe me because I say so go try this technique out for yourself with a open mind and let me know the results.

Now ill go into a bit more detail about why this should work in my experience as a healer. Every person you meet and have some contact with you create a link to that person. From simply exchanging greetings at the checkout line to small talk in starbucks it all creates a link. Now after 20 years you would have A LOT of links however links you don't constantly use deteriorate over time. For instance, the link with the cashier at the store probably will only last for a few days unless you keep interacting with that person in some way, even a phone call will do.

The more you interact with a person the stronger the link is, especially when emotions are involved. Eventually you get permanent links, these are usually made with close friends, family members, lovers. They will deteriorate over the course of years but only if you have absolutely no contact with them and never really think of them. So at any one time were are linked to hundreds of people, if you work with a lot of people then you will likely be linked to most of them.

For this healing technique you are pulling energy from everyone, that way you do not drain one person completely. Its best if you have some energy worker friends to draw off as well, they will have more energy and stronger energy. You collect this massive amount of energy and direct it to the person with the intent of it healing the illness.

Now this is what I like to call broad healing, its usually ineffective with serious illness so I was suprised to hear this would work so well. However I still think you need to know what your healing and what your trying to fix and add that to the intent. Sending a sick person good healing energy while it will help them it won't do that much. Simply because our energy bodies and physical bodies are extremely complex and simply sending good energy won't cut it for a serious illness.

You need to know at least what to do to heal someone, what is causing the illness and work to fix those symptoms. Remember though to be careful though, your mind is a POWERFUL tool and can cause you harm if you don't know what your doing.

Also like I've said before if anyone needs help healing something I'm always willing to help, just comment or e-mail me and ill do my best, however I can't guarantee I can heal you because you yourself have a lot to do with how much the healing will help.

The reason I can heal myself and have seen near perfect health since I started is because not only do I keep my energy body in perfect shape I keep my physical body in perfect shape as well, good diet and a healthy lifestyle are the first steps. If your body doesn't get the proper nutrients while dealing with a serious illness no energy work will help you.

Downside of being Psychic....

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Sat, 08 May 2010 06:08:00 +0000

Sometimes I really hate it... I can't imagine if I had been psychic my entire life, it would of been hell. I don't think any child should have to deal with it. It started when I awakened, at that time I had a bit of a problem with human spirits feeling attracted to me, they wanted to communicate but I really didn't want to. There were so many, sometimes if I would meditate without any kind of shielding I would get flashes, usually little clips of people dieing. I learned it was the spirits, as I began to communicate with some of them, more then just a one way talk I learned most just wanted to talk. They wanted someone to know how they died or something that happened in their death or before. Something that bound them to the etheric and left them as spirits instead of them moving on like you normally do.

Now lately I have been having a problem when it comes to my abilities. My overall psychic abilities have been getting much more sensitive over the past 6 months. I can't seem to shield them out either and thats where the problem comes in. When ever I read the news or see it online I pick up details, emotions flashes of what ever happens in my mind. Mostly only with events that are bad in nature, usually murders. I really hate it, I wish i could just block this ability off.

It happened again tonight, it was stronger than before. Not only did I see this murder as if I were standing there I felt the emotions of the person being killed and there family members around them. I'm just done with reading or watching the news, ill try to make sure i'm not reading any more murder related articles.

I just can't imagine what some sensitive child would go through, I was seeing things I didn't want at 15 if I was 7 or 8 it could really have a negative effect on a child. Its more than just a image or like watching a movie. Its like your at the murder and watching it for yourself. Except its rapid, for instance I might see a minute or so of a murder in the course of a few seconds.

Anyone else ever had this problem?

My Death and Rebirth in 24 hours...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 01:04:00 +0000

My life has changed... about a week ago I experienced a shift. I can't even explain it, it was so sudden over the course of 24 hours. My entire outlook on things changed, I never expected it to change like that, I literally went to sleep one night and woke up a truly different person. Out with the old in with the new! Perhaps this is what that feeling of "Death" was in 2010 that I have had such a strong feeling about over the past year. My old self is dead, gone and will never be coming back. My new self is enjoying the change.

So what happened exactly? Well about a week before the shift I have been feeling odd, just a weird feeling of everything, a strange call to action (best way to explain it) a need to change everything. Then I woke up and just felt completely different. The past couple years I have spent almost exclusively exploring the non-physical side of life, Astral Projection, lucid dreams, energy work, energy healing, psychic abilities. You name it I've probably tried it at least once.

However on the 19th I changed, I have a odd urge to explore the physical now. To stop focusing on the non-physical side and see what it is to be truly human from a spiritual perspective. There is "something" that I have to discover soon something big. I don't know what it is but I definitely feel it coming by the end of this year.

My entire life has been turned upside down the past week. Habits instantly broken, for instance my sleep schedule has always been nocturnal I usually cant sleep at night for a while and stay up late but ever since the 19th i've been sleeping very early, 11-12. Waking up with a strong social urge to get up and meet new people. I have never really felt a social urge this strong before, I was never anti social or anything like that but never a super outgoing person however now i feel VERY outgoing.

Then my life changed even more when I learned I will be moving in a month, to a new house in some strange twisted turn of good luck (Although it didn't seem so good at first) we basically got a free house. I really think that will be a good change for me.

I look at it this way, I just moved to my current house a year ago and never really made friends but I was never trying to really. I stayed in contact with my old friends through the phone and net and never really felt a urge to meet new friends here especially since I was so enveloped in spiritual exploration and development. Now I am going to a whole new place, and again ill be totally alone, usually that would kind of be scary, no scary isn't the right word depressing. I just finally started to meet people around here and get used to the whole area and now i'm moving again.

However like I said it doesn't feel bad, it feels awesome! A clean slate.. thats how I look at it, a clean slate to meet new people and experience new things in a way I really couldn't do where I live now. I will be 18 soon.. a adult done with the education system for good. So its time I grow up completely. As of today I just started my online business and writing work back up. Even though it doesn't pay much it something and relatively easy work. Ill have money to spend on things without taking away much time to work on my novel.

I feel like a new person, truly almost like another soul took over but I know thats not what happened. Its a amazing and great experience....

On a blog note we just hit 15000 views! :D

Update...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 18:18:00 +0000

Alright time for a update, its been over a month since my last post. Sorry had more family crap going on and lately I have had to focus on a lot of physical things. Writing hours and hours a day on my novel, editing and all that. I'm working on having it done by fall so theres a lot that needs to be done and hardly enough time for exploring the non-physical side of life. I apologize for that..

Lately its been pretty calm in my life, I have just been blending in as a "non" which for the most part has worked fine, entities come by and don't realize I am any stronger than a average human. This also caused a few problems along the way with a particular spirit that has started to harass members of my family so I had to start shielding the house again. Physically harassing by the way, which is a bit more disturbing simply because if they can effect the physical like that they can cause physical harm.

I feel a bit guilty when someone I know gets attacked by a entity, usually the entities are only around because of me so its my job to protect everyone around me that isn't awakened to all this. A lot of times entities and spirits will attack friends and loved ones if they can't get through your defenses. So keep that in mind before you go making enemies in the astral.

As for ET related things, no experiences in the past month. A nice change in pace since around January it was once a week. Although they might just be getting better at blocking the memory. Although I had a odd experience of waking up in the middle of the night, looking around my room as if something had been there. Who knows what that was...

As for dreams, nothing spectacular... Haven't been really worrying about writting them down or anything...

And in closing I do plan on writing more, summer is coming ill be out of school and officially a adult. (I CAN VOTE :D) Finally see the finish line of this whole education system after all these years and they expect me to take another lap by going to college? Hell no! :P

However now ill have more responsibility, probably be looking for a part time job while I write this book or I might start my online businesses back up for some extra cash even though I hated those so much!

Anyways that all for now, expect more in the near future...

Dream, and some stuff

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:01:00 +0000

Short post today just wanted to write a couple things down, may be more important later. First of all my dream last night, actually just a small fragment, rest was just rambling and jumping around no point to it. Anyways here it goes...

Dream - 2-25-10

I am inside a room, its night but a full moonlight nite. There are pictures on a bed in the room, and I pick them up to see what they are. They are 2 pictures of aliens, both appear to be the same being and they appear to be the same aliens I have seen before. The pictures didn't shock me or anything and I just put them in my pocket and went outside. (Then my dream gets crazy again had to include this part it was hilarious to me.) I am outside, looking for my shoe apparently I lost one somehow, eventually I find it and walk to the backyard of the house, and 2 people I know (In the dream only) are sitting at a table, drinking.

Its the middle of the night but the night was well lite by the moonlight, and were all just sitting around a small table in the middle of a backyard drinking some kind of orange juice and alcohol. Then someone else comes outside and asks us something, not sure what.

Then I woke up, strange to see the ET pictures in the dream.

All right another thing I wanted to note was that last night I was still feeling pretty sick, and I kind of got irritated at the sickness, decided to try a more aggressive healing technique and woke up feeling way better than the night before. Still sick kinda but its mostly gone, although thats what I said a few days ago and woke up 10x worse so lets see how it goes.

Creepy....

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:33:00 +0000

Well this was a very weird night...

I went to sleep around 12 last night and then woke up at 4am exactly... but I didn't wake up normally. I can't even put into words really how I woke up... I remember for several minutes being awake however it was as if I was sleeping as well. I was talking, or at least I think I was and I have a odd picture burned into my mind of something possibly standing in my living room. I am not sure what because the image is kind of blurry.

Anyways I am one of those people that once I get to sleep I usually don't wake up at all until I am ready to get up, defiantly not after only 4 hours of sleep in which I was very tired. My jawbone is also in a lot of pain and has been since 4 when I woke up. From what? I have no idea but it seems the causes of it can be a couple of interesting things.

Clenching the jaw really hard can cause this kind of pain, or prolonged stress where you clinch your face. (and jaw) Which would be a natural response I guess to extreme fear or pain. I have no memory of a dream, except for the weird state in which I was in when I woke up. I guess ill meditate on it tonight try to figure out what happened...

Shadow People

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:17:00 +0000

Well I was sick so I lasted over 1000 days before I got sick pretty good if you ask me. I've pretty much healed so onto the next topic Shadow people. Recently I was attacked by one of these shadows. The thing was watching me from about 15 feet away. I don't think it realized I could feel its presence, as soon as I made that clear it ran away but minute later it was back again and watching me.

I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with the term shadow people, I prefer to just call them shadows. They aren't just like a shadow on the wall although some have reported seeing them like that. They usually are a solid shadow when you see them both physically and astrally. They have depth and usually look rather humanoid. Facial features might be missing but usually eyes are visible. They actually look very evil and scary especially if you see them on the astral. It could make for a pretty terrifying experience for a beginner to meet one on the astral and get attacked even though they would likely be unharmed.

Now in my opinion these shadow beings are not that intelligent and very Animalistic. (Is that even a word?) They seem to like to stalk people, not communicate when they do communicate it seems to be aggressive in nature. They stalk you almost like a animal, when you see them they hide and when you corner them they attack. (what happened to me)

They shouldn't be much of a problem for anyone that can shield even at a beginner level and since they only seem to attack if provoked there technically isnt a threat but a few people I know have been attacked without warning from them, one person met one that was a bit more powerful that the average shadow. So what are they doing? I Think they may be drawn to something, negative energy perhaps. They might try to instill fear in which to feed off, its unclear.

There are a lot of ideas out there since shadow people are a huge phenomenon about what they are. Some say they are beings from another dimension and they only come up as shadows to us on this side. However that doesn't really hold up if you see one on the astral because they should look normal. I believe they are simply a common form of astral life. They live probably off fear and stalk people that they can easily draw it off. They don't want a confrontation and try to avoid it if possible but ready to attack if cornered.

If you have a shadow stalking you I would get rid of it, because you don't need that thing attacking you when your most vulnerable. You don't have to kill the entity they are like animals and rather weak a show of force usually gets them to leave. The one that attacked me left after it learned I could bite back.

Sick? or just 'Under the Weather'

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:53:00 +0000

I was ready to surrender to my cold tonight... seriously... a feet I was happy to toss around everywhere I could was not being sick for 3 years, it was amazing because it started as soon as I got into energy work, my health improved and I never got sick, and anytime I would begin to I could take it away, but as I woke up this morning the small cold that I went to sleep with exploded and I felt horrible.

Last night or last last night for people with normal sleeping habits I attempted to heal myself, in which I did the same things I decribed in the previous post I kicked my immune system into high gear, and within a half hour had a fever which is good because fevers mean your body is fighting the cold but it made it a bit hard to fall asleep but I did eventually,

Today I was feeling pretty horrible the whole day, no appetite i ate some noodles a bit ago but im still not hungry even though ive probably ate less then 10% of what I usually eat in a day (Breaking my own rule I know) I drank tons of water though and I don't know if ill call my feet defeated yet of 3 years without being sick. Because it has still not become a full on sickness.

For instance my only symptom is a half-assed sore throat, no cough, running nose or anything. The sore throat doesnt even hurt really its just annoying so ill give it till I wake up tomorrow. If the cold is still there and not gone or dramatically weaker then ill go tally up the exact number of days and be happy I went from being cold several times a year to once every 3 years.

So anyways I am about to sleep for the night, or at least lie in bed for a few hours with my fever that is bound to only go up when I manipulate my immune system again and hopefully it will go away tomorrow.

oh I forgot, yesterday after the healing session when my immune system kicked in and the fever came reminded me I didn't put that in the guide post. When you boost your immune system into high gear you should get a fever its normal, and its proof your doing something to your system. A friend also suggested some things to add into the healing guide but I won't do that. I decided ill do the same thing I decided yesterday in parts, and then at the end a new and in-depth look at healing all together with a link for anyone interested.

(Dream 2-19-10)

I was in a large room, like a warehouse but well lite filled with people and they were all doing there thing. However I was on the top of a tower... a flimsy tower at least 40 feet in the air, and it was really freaking me out. It wasn't so much that I was afraid of the height but the fact that I was going to have to climb down it to get down. There was no other way down, and considering there was a good chance of death if I feel that freaked me out even more. After a few minutes of being on this tower like structure it started to sway... I held on but eventually it was going to fall so I bailed over the side, attempting to climb down the tower, which worked a bit but soon it collapsed anyways but I was ok somehow?

I remember this common theme in a lot of my older dreams when I was younger for instance I would be somewhere high, and have no other way to get down but to jump. One terrifying one was being on a rope bridge across two cliffs and I was hanging on about to fall, except i was at least 500 feet off the ground and would die.

Healing Series, Part 1 - Introduction & Self Healing

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:51:00 +0000

Since my blog has expanded to so many readers I think its time to start expanding a little, less just about my experiences and more teachings and learning. So I will start a series of blogs on healing. Which is my specialty. Don't worry my blog won't turn into just teaching and articles ill still write down all of my experiences here but ill toss in some extras along the way. Added my e-mail as well on the top right, in the contact me section if anyone had questions or comments they wanted to e-mail me.

Now lets begin, Healing is a huge topic, so in each post ill try and focus on something. Today the topic is Self Healing, as well as prevention. Now this healing is nothing magical, it's not a silver bullet its a method that takes some work and if you put the work in you will get the results but if you don't put your all into it don't expect results at all. This is hit and miss usually it will either work or won't work don't get discouraged at first, especially if your new to the concept of energy work. It takes time to learn, you need to practice for in some cases months. I've been doing this for almost 3 years and practiced daily since the start.

First thing to always focus on is prevention, not only will it help keep you from getting sick but when you do your body is more prepared to handle it making it less severe and it will go away faster. To start you want to stay active, eat healthy, drink water. I'm not asking you to become a health nut but when you feel yourself getting sick or people around you are sick you need to do some steps to prevent getting sick.

First and formost give your body all the rest and energy it needs to fight the sickness, eat enough, drink lots of water, and get rest. Try not to stress out as well. This is as much about keeping yourself physically healthy as well as energetically healthy they both effect the other and a sick energy body will mean a sick physical body and vice-versa. Your energy body is just as complex as your physical body if not more, and is closely related to your physical body each effects the other in a amazing way. Random headaches and pains are usually the cause of energy body problems and nothing physical to begin with.

I recommend you do energy body cleansing and healing as needed, usually a good cleansing once every other week will help. A cleansing is simply getting rid of the energy trash and garbage as well as negative energy. All of that promotes sickness, no it wont get your sick generally but if you begin to get sick with a weak energy body the sickness will be much stronger. There are plenty of methods to cleanse your body the method I use is below.

Aura Cleansing (Covers energy body as well) - Get comfortable, relax, be somewhere you won't get disturbed for 10-20 minutes and just get as relax as you can, if you meditate then meditate for a bit then start the cleansing. Visualize energy coming to your body, from any source you like, earth, sun, moon etc. what ever as long as its a good pure source. Gather that energy around you focus on it keeping it at least 3 feet away. After you gather a good amount (what ever feels right) Begin to visualize the energy swirling around your body, pulling out anything that doesn't belong that's inside your energy field/aura. (Anywhere from 1-3 feet around your body)

After you pull all of that gunk out push that energy away, if you need to gather more energy do so, then like before begin to swirl the energy around you, this time having it enter each part of your body as it goes through again pulling out trash and energy that doesn't belong. Until you have done it to your entire body, and cleaned it all. Remember not to reuse the energy if it starts to feel heavy discard it and gather new energy. This will clean your entire energy body form most things that don't belong stuff you will pick up from day to day life. Do it as you feel you need it and usually at least twice a month. If you start getting sick do it before you go to sleep every night so your body has the best chance to fight off the sickness.

Just that cleansing will improve your bodies ability to heal itself drastically, no drugs needed. Now I am NOT saying don't take your meds especially if you need them. I however don't believe modern medicine in regards to most sicknesses and illnesses are needed and haven't taken any medication in 3 years. However again I have experience healing myself and don't feel I need it.

Now lets say the sickness is all ready coming on, you need to start healing as soon as you notice the cold. Most of us know at least 24 hours before its a full blown cold and all you need is 1 night of rest to heal your body usually. You always want to do your cleansing/healing if your sick right before you go to sleep. When you sleep is when your body does most of its cold fighting. Now lets say you feel a sore throat coming on, you want to boost your immune system's response simply with willpower. Mind over body, Buddhist monks have been doing it for thousands of years we shouldnt have a problem doing it.

When you feel a sickness come on, get into a meditative state, be very relaxed and focus on your body alone, nothing else, feel your body for a moment. Every pain every problem every bit of the sickness. Then think of your immune system, how ever you see your immune system. For me its kind of just similar to your nervous, its all over your body and connected. At least thats how it feels for me, it doesn't matter if it actually is or not. Once you begin to connect with your immune system start to command it. Simply command it to boost its response to the area, in a sore throat case you would obviously want help in your throat.

This will help your immune system mobilize so to speak, or immune system can be slow to respond what we want to do is force it to go full force from the front. Now OBVIOUSLY this can have negative side effects especially if your trying to run your immune system on overdrive for days, the idea is to only get it to run overdrive for 8 hours or so while you sleep all the time it will need to kill off the sickness. DO NOT use this for days on end, and if you have any immune system problems I would recommenced going at it cautiously.

Don't forget to blanket the entire area as well, just because you don't feel the chest congestion doesn't mean its begun to get sick, hit everywhere you usually get sick but focus on the area most effected at that time. Remember your body is going to need more energy to fight since you are telling your immune system to go into overdrive, so make sure you eat some good solid food to give yourself extra energy, you can also infuse external energy into your energy body to give it a boost. (Not to much your trying to go to sleep you don't want to be wide awake.) Also drink lots of water, especially before you go to sleep, I try to drink 32 ounces right before bed the night I do the healing.

Now if you want to heal something different a bit more advanced then you need to research! You have to know exactly what your sickness is, what is causing it and what you need to do to fix it. If you get a sprained ankle you don't simply want to take the pain away this could make you hurt it more if you run on a hurt ankle just because your suppressed the pain. You want to heal the muscles, make them BE better not just feel better.

Start with easy things! Colds are simple to heal, cancer is not! I believe 100% things as advanced as cancer can be healed with no modern medicine but do I think its easy? Hell no! It takes way more than simple healing techniques but I am certain with enough effort both physically and energetically it can be done. Now there are many more healing techniques I know, what I have listed above are simple beginner ones and great to start with. Under no circumstances should you try to adapt these techniques to heal something advanced, or to heal someone else! If you don't know exactly whats wrong with them you shouldn't try to heal them, you also shouldn't try to cure someones cold because they may have other medical problems you don't know about and could end up hurting them.

Everything has a cause and a effect no matter what it is or how small it is. If you want to be a healer and specialize in it great, its a rewarding field of energy work, but it takes work more so than other fields. You need to study the anatomy of the human body extensively, take courses if you can find them, research parts of the body online. I try to learn about a new part every week, from the muscles to nerves. If you are going to try and heal something complex research it, find everything you can and know exactly what the problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it.

Also don't practice on others! Practice on yourself, everyone has something usually they can work on healing, even if its minor, like a sore back from a old injury. Whatever it is you can use it as a practice point. You need to always remember every physical sickness and illness has a energetic effect, so you need to heal both, if you keep getting energy blockages find the source! It may be that old high school injury that's causing it, fix the injury fix the blockages permanently. You should check your energy body out frequently it will show you whats wrong with your physical body.

PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!!

Healing others...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:21:00 +0000

So as I mentioned before my moms pretty sick, it started as a common cold but over 3 days progressed a lot more, last night I was almost ready to tell her to go to the hospital, even though she wouldn't. She couldn't sleep because every time she laid down she couldn't breath. My mom has lots of heart and lung problems, and various other medical problems. So even though I attempted to healer her the first day she got sick I had no effect, I assumed it was for 2 reasons, 1 she was all ready depressed about her health before it started, and she probably assumed she would only get worse making any effect I have less.

Anyways the first time I healed her, the energy body was completely clogged with negative and bad energy, it was compacted in the upper chest area a severe amount. I cleaned that out first, fixed the chakras a bit and tried to get the system back to a good level. Within a day it was back again, which I kept clearing out but something was causing it. Last night I was determined to give 110% trying to heal her, ive had miraculous effects on my own health so I might as well give it a shot.

I started by looking at her system again, clogged with negative energy again, but I looked deeper trying to find a cause, The best I could tell the charkas were clogging or not filtering properlly and causing a backup. There was also a odd looking sphere shape something inside her chest, where nothing should be, no idea what it was or how it got there but it was removed.

As I started healing, I again flushed the system of all negative energy, fixed the chakras again and then worked on physical healing. Focusing on boosting the immune systems response, after about 30 minutes I got a idea from remembering what they do sometimes when a organ can't function correctly. I decided to hook up my energy body to hers, (Do not try this!) The basic Idea was simply to create a connection where as the energy could normally go from her energy body into mine to be filtered by my own chakras in the event of a back up of her own chakras.

Now I don't recommend doing this, it puts tremendous strain on your own energy body as well as could have a negative effect on the person you do it too. I decided I would hook it up and check it in the morning if it was having a bad effect stop it.

I woke up this morning and my mom was feeling a lot better, even though she got no sleep at all. Her energy body is in great shape, it seems when the chakras got clogged everything rerouted to my system and kept energy flowing that was clean, the thing I removed still no idea what it was but may have been causing some of the problems. Anyways she will probably be nearly completely healed by tomorrow, which has really suprised me considering how bad she was last night. Similar to the time I had a very very high fever was very sick and hallucinating and ended up completely fine in the morning after healing myself.

Anyways it gave me some better ides on how to heal more severe energy problems like my mom had the past few days, a condition ive begun to call "Gridlock" Because thats essentially what the system looks like after it begins to back up. Below ill go in depth on the condition for any healers that want to learn a bit more about it.

In this case, the throat, and hearth chakra were severely damaged and clogged, I suppose because of way to much energy needing filtered. Because of this it backed up, nearly sealing the energy passageways and stopping almost all energy flow in the upper chest. The effects appeared to been physically a drastic decline in health, and strain on lungs. To heal the area, what I first tried was to just keep healing the chakras, opening each charka, cleaning it and then reclosing it, after words removing all the damaged energy and cleansing the entire body. Which temporarily fixed the system but it clogged within a few hours again and started to build up, even with cleansing every few hours.

The technique I used ultimately to fix the condition, (All though if that thing I removed was the cause that could explain the healing.) was to hook up for cords between us, patching the incoming line right next to the effected chakras intake and the filtered energy would flow right to where it should be coming back out naturally. This way if the chakra blocked it would be able to send the energy to my chakras which could likely handle the problem since my energy body is in perfect condition. The extra load on my own system would likely be diverted evenly through out every chakra to help heal it all.

The thing I pulled out of her upper left chest, was about a tennis ball in size, circular with 4 spikes coming out, it was defiantly constructed by something and placed in there. I was a fool for not seeing it the first time. I believe it either created negative energy and sent it through out the body or it attracted it and the body absorbed it naturally. Either way it was definatly having a negative effect on her condition. It was placed in recently I assume.

I wont go into the technique of boosting the immune system, its too dangerous for a untrained person to do, when effecting the physical body your changes will not heal themselves if you screw up so don't try to effect it if you don't have any training. Ill also remind everyone something I tell every begineer, When you piss something off, a entity, demon what ever even if you can defend against it find you probably can't kill it, and if you cant you essentially are in a bad situation, even if it can't hurt you it can hurt others you know, your family so when you decide to fight something remember that it might not be you who gets hurt but it could easily be a family member. I've seen this happen to my family multiple times, this is probably just another example and it comes with the territory. So remember don't bite off more than you can chew and ask for help when you need it.

I'm Back...

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:05:00 +0000

Sorry for vanishing with no word for the last month or so. I needed to unplug myself for a bit, too be quite honest I was a bit tired of the drama associated with all that I do. Seemed like everytime I went online it was just filled with more and more things I needed to do or get done. Not that I'm complaining I dont mind helping people, especially since I remember what its like to start off energy working and really need a good teacher, someone who at least can show you the ropes.

I've been writing, actually writing way to much but its coming along great, January I was making good progress on a book. I got a few chapters done, outline of the entire story and tons of ideas of what to write next, last week though I had a kind of spir of the moment idea for a book, and ended up switching to that almost immediately, in the last week I've hammered out over a chapter a day, hundreds of pages over a chapter a day. At this pace my first draft should be ready in a week - two weeks but too be honest with myself its going to need a lot of work. The way I write (As many may have noticed from these blogs) I just sit down and let myself write, almost like meditation, I don't think it just comes out. That makes for usually a lot of mistakes, if I took a second to reread the blogs before I posted them I would probably not look like such a idiot.

The past few days I've been thinking a lot, over a month ago in December I had a vision/memory what ever you wanna call it while meditating. I was at a funeral, my mothers funeral and I looked the same age I am now. It really freaked me out a bit. Will she be dead soon? Ive been getting that feeling a lot lately. I also feel like I have 1 2010... That 2010 will be relatively stable in terms of my life, that I will have this year only to set everything up and if I don't get it set up then im screwed. Right now I could seriously be living on the street within a month, money is just that tight right now around here, probably wouldn't have internet if we didn't have a year free because of all those comcast problems. If my mom dies now ill really be shit out of luck, the little source of income she got from her disability will be gone and within a month I would have to move out from my current home, with no other real place in sight.

I guess thats life? It isn't easy, I have it pretty bad the past few years but I know others with it much worse so I don't try to complain. Whats the point of complaining anyways? It doesnt help the situation at all. So my plan this year is basically this, first draft finished by the end of February, then the next month for revising into a second draft. After a second draft my book should be at the least readable so ill probably work on getting feedback, change anything that needs it and if all looks good start trying to get it published as well as start the second book since publishing can take years, years I dont have...

I came close to breaking my perfect health record in late January, as many know I haven't gotten sick at all since the day I started on this journey, every-time I got sick (the start of usually) I was able to heal it within 24 hours, 1 night about 2 and some years ago I did get a high fever and I guess technically I was sick but in the morning It was gone so I dont count it. Anyways like I said yah, It was pretty bad for the 20 or so hours I had it but like all the other times one night of rest after healing meditation and it was completely gone in the morning. Before I started all of this I used to get sick a lot and I really hated it, only reinforces my belief that modern medicine really isn't needed for healing things like this at least. All though I'm not saying people should stop taking there meds. I have focused on healing for the last 2 years so I know what im doing, at least for these minor things.

umm a little update I guess on what happened since Ive left energetically. I got attacked a few times, by random entities which were not anything new, I actually added one into my story after a particularly odd encounter, it looked like a very large wolf, except very different from a normal wolf, it had these really menacing red eyes. I have meditated a lot but havent actually trained much this past month, the basics I do, keeping myself shielded, and basic attacks when things attack or get pushy but nothing serious not really pushing myself.

I actually did have one experience that was pretty creepy at the time, I don't know what to make of it now, I wrote it down the day it happened but ill just summarize it here since the journal entry was like 3 pages long.

1-30-10

It was 3-4am I had stayed up rather late but wasn't really tired, I had just started to lay down like I always do usually stay up for a hour or so before falling asleep. I had my MP3 player on with some quiet calm music on trying to get in the sleep mood. It was maybe 10 minutes later that I heard what sounded like a train (I live by train tracks) but instead of the rumbling going on for a few minutes it just stopped, a couple seconds of this weird low rumbling sound and then silence. I removed my ear-buds wondering what it was, at first thinking maybe it was something energetic since no one else in my house seemed to react to it. My dog stood up right next to me and started to walk to one of the windows. Thats when I got the presence that 'something' was watching me, a feeling ive become kind of used to.

Just as I got that feeling my dog who was staring out the window started to growl at something, a very low and aggressive growl something ive never heard from him before, not like that at least, when ever he saw animals or people outside he always barked never growled like that, the growling went on for 2-3 seconds and then he started barking. I ran over to the window to look out but saw nothing, I checked the fresh snow and there was no footprints outside or anywhere. I have no idea what he saw, or what was causing me the feeling of being watched. It was overall a creepy experience. Just one of the many I guess. oh, about a hour after that experience a train did go by, which was great for comparison, while the sound was a bit similar to a train it was distinctly different, and it only lasting a couple seconds pretty much rules out a train.

Too all my usually E-hangouts that many of you know me from ill be logging on to all of those soon, be a day or so I got a LOT of stuff to catch up on.

and last but not least a dream from the second thats here simply for archive purposes, really the only dream in the last month I bothered to write down. Sorry if its all screwed up, I wrote it at like 5am right when I got up.

2-02-10

Very interesting segment of a dream. I was in a large warehouse like area, but it had lots of light inside, natural light. I think the front had windows. I believe it was in africa. There were a lot of people, it was like a market, some men with guns, they were a militia i think, not really sure. There were also some UN Peacekeepers there. I had a Pistol in a holstier. I was talking with one of the men, he had a AK47, apparently he ran a militia, and we were talking about how to improve the area he lived in to get it out of poverty.

We were going to help plant better crops for starters, and I guess the militia was going to be funded to help police the city. All of sudden someone grabs one of the peacekeepers and aims a gun at his head. We all pull our guns, im behind them stepping back some because now everyone is aiming there guns at us.

A us agianst them mentality I guess. A guy to my left aims his pistol at the guy holding the gun to the other guys head and takes a shot, which misses and ends up striking the hostage. People start firing at us and we return fire, people with out guns are on the ground ducking. I shoot 2-3 people myself and I think I got shoot but I'm not sure. When the gunfire ends the hostage was killed none of us were wounded and a couple other people were shoot.

I was pissed at the solider that shoot at the guy holding the hostage up. I remember walking up to him and pulling my pistol and sticking it to his head. Yelling at him, about how he just got people killed and could of got everyone killed. A women grabbed me from behind trying to get me to let him go. I still had the gun up to his face yelling at him. He was trembling thinking I was about to shoot him. No one else was reacting to the situation just watching.

I dragged him out of where he was sitting to the front of the building and threw him outside, took his weapon and told him to leave before I shot him. I then checked the clip of my pistol I fired about half the clip. I reloaded and then saw the women who had grabbed me before. She I guess was my wife? or soon to be wife I think. Not really sure... We talked some and then I woke up.

Expect regular blog posts from now on!

Dream 12-14-09

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:08:00 +0000

Dream 12-14-09

12-14-09

It started with me in a house, there was this thing I was fighting, a human but not... He had a face with some scratches and blood on his cheek. Every time I would kill him or what ever he would be right behind me when ever I turned around. After a few minutes I was in my house.. my Living room. I feel a very scary feeling of something being in my area, a entity. I then see something come right through the wall. A humanoid shaped shadow/misty thing. Its hovering off the ground.

I kinda freak out and take a few steps back then this thing lifts me off the ground and just start making me swirl around the room. I start to try to say anything but I can't open my mouth. I then wake up... I am not sure if I actually woke up or if this was part of the dream because I then went right back to sleep.

The second part of this dream I am inside my house, this time with a small boy maybe 5-7? and another man, apparently that thing that attacked me was haunting that boy and decided to pay me a visit, I think i was in contact with the kid and tried to get it to haunt me instead of the kid. Anyways while we are both explaining what happened to the other guy the thing comes again in the same form through the wall. I stand up and try to punch it... which doesn't work... The other guy can't see it but both me and the kid can. The kid is really scared freaking out and screaming, im unsure whats gonna happen because of what happened last time. A few minutes later we tried to have the boy identify what he saw, and for some reason we drew a "grey" alien on a paper (just the face) and asked if thats what he saw which he said no. This went on for what seemed like a hour then I woke up.

Closest thing I've had to a nightmare in a while, probably years. I don't think it was a actual entity messing with me through the dream, while its happened before I seemed to always revert to shielding during the dream when that happens which worked. Kind of like second nature?

A Message....

noreply@blogger.com (spirtkid) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:58:00 +0000

Last night before I went to sleep I felt like I was being watched. Everyone had went to sleep early and i was feeling very very tired, a odd thing because that almost never happens. I decided to just go to sleep since I most likely wouldnt remember a thing in the morning if they did come.

I had a very interesting dream.. i dont really remember anything except for when something handed me a note, similar to the last message I got in a dream, the not was in very weird hand writing not to good not to bad.

The note actually gave me a bit of advice and a warning on a situation ive been dealing with for months. I can't say what the note said at the moment simply because this is a public blog and since the situation is still on going would hate for the people mentioned in the note to read this.

Was great to get some advice, I will do as they wish for now at least.