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    <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1326082</id>
    <updated>2009-07-27T18:01:08-04:00</updated>
    <subtitle>Practical Conversations for People Making a Difference</subtitle>
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        <title>Work-Life Leadership?</title>
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        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.spiritedleaders.com/2009/07/worklife-leadership.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8347e7eba53ef01157229354e970b</id>
        <published>2009-07-27T18:01:08-04:00</published>
        <updated>2009-07-27T18:01:08-04:00</updated>
        <summary>Bouncing around the web are heated reactions to former General Electric CEO Jack Welch's recent declaration that "there's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." That's what leadership is...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Carol Gerrish</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Identity" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Leadership" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-US" xml:base="http://www.spiritedleaders.com/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef0115723d6cbb970b-pi" style="FLOAT: right"&gt;&lt;img alt="Balance" border="0" class="at-xid-6a00d8347e7eba53ef0115723d6cbb970b " src="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef0115723d6cbb970b-800wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px 5px" title="Balance"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef0115723d6bc9970b-pi" style="FLOAT: right"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef0115723d5f01970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Bouncing around the web are heated reactions to former General Electric CEO &lt;a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124726415198325373.html" target="_blank"&gt;Jack Welch's recent declaration&lt;/a&gt; that "there's no such thing as work-life balance.  There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;That's what leadership is about, right -- making choices, with awareness and perspective, and then taking responsibility for the outcomes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Seems like we often try to erect a wall between work and the rest of life, including spirituality.  At least that's how &lt;a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work-life_balance" target="_blank"&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; describes it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;blockquote dir="ltr"&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;"Work-life balance&lt;/strong&gt; is a broad concept including proper prioritizing between career and ambition on one hand, compared with pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development on the other."&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;Another former CEO and speaker, &lt;a href="http://www.biztimes.com/news/2009/4/3/how-we-lead-matters" target="_blank"&gt;Marilyn Carlson Nelson&lt;/a&gt;, often warns in her keynotes about trying to compartmentalize leadership into choices made in our personal lives and in our professional lives.  That approach, she says, will undermine credibility. We need to consistently be who we are. &lt;em&gt;"A leader is a leader."&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;One of Nelson's achievements as CEO was transforming &lt;a href="http://www.carlson.com/" target="_blank"&gt;Carlson's (Radisson Hotels, TGI Friday's)&lt;/a&gt; corporate culture to include more minorities and women in leadership.  In contrast, Welch said "we'd love to have more women moving up faster, but they've got to make the tough choices and know the consequences of each one."&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;Agreed -- there's no such thing as work-life balance.  But I'll take Nelson's brand of work-life leadership.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: #bf5f00"&gt;Read:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Marilyn Carlson Nelson's &lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071600175?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;tag=transformingwo08&amp;amp;linkCode=as2&amp;amp;camp=1789&amp;amp;creative=9325&amp;amp;creativeASIN=0071600175"&gt;How We Lead Matters: Reflections on a Life of Leadership&lt;/a&gt;&lt;img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=transformingwo08&amp;amp;l=as2&amp;amp;o=1&amp;amp;a=0071600175" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none" width="1"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;div id="TixyyLink" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; TEXT-ALIGN: left; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent; WIDTH: 0px; HEIGHT: 0px; COLOR: #000000; OVERFLOW: hidden; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; text-decoration: none"&gt;"There's no such thing as work-life balance," Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management's annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. "There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Read more: &lt;a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW"&gt;&lt;font color="#0066cc"&gt;http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#xD;
&lt;div id="TixyyLink" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; TEXT-ALIGN: left; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent; WIDTH: 0px; HEIGHT: 0px; COLOR: #000000; OVERFLOW: hidden; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; text-decoration: none"&gt;"There's no such thing as work-life balance," Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management's annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. "There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Read more: &lt;a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW"&gt;&lt;font color="#0066cc"&gt;http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#xD;
&lt;div id="TixyyLink" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; TEXT-ALIGN: left; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent; WIDTH: 0px; HEIGHT: 0px; COLOR: #000000; OVERFLOW: hidden; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; text-decoration: none"&gt;"There's no such thing as work-life balance," Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management's annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. "There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Read more: &lt;a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW"&gt;&lt;font color="#0066cc"&gt;http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#xD;
&lt;div id="TixyyLink" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; TEXT-ALIGN: left; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent; WIDTH: 0px; HEIGHT: 0px; COLOR: #000000; OVERFLOW: hidden; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; text-decoration: none"&gt;"There's no such thing as work-life balance," Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management's annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. "There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Read more: &lt;a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW"&gt;&lt;font color="#0066cc"&gt;http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=43709#ixzz0M6QbYgOW&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/RCGRO0jKNeH6c7oC9cBKLGbcnGM/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/RCGRO0jKNeH6c7oC9cBKLGbcnGM/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
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    <entry>
        <title>Monks at Work</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SpiritedLeaders/~3/tK7l_Q7hjnc/monks-at-work.html" />
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        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8347e7eba53ef01157223d1f0970b</id>
        <published>2009-07-22T15:10:09-04:00</published>
        <updated>2009-07-22T15:08:22-04:00</updated>
        <summary>What's the secret to operating a successful multi-million dollar business with a four hour work day? Entrepreneur and consultant Augie Turak suggests looking to the 1500-year old monastic tradition followed by the Trappists of Mepkin Abbey for answers. His recent...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Carol Gerrish</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Faith at Work" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Leadership" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Purpose" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-US" xml:base="http://www.spiritedleaders.com/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;What's the secret to operating a successful multi-million dollar business with a four hour work day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef011572243834970b-pi" style="FLOAT: right"&gt;&lt;img alt="MonkAtWork" border="0" class="at-xid-6a00d8347e7eba53ef011572243834970b " src="http://gerrish.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8347e7eba53ef011572243834970b-800wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px 5px" title="MonkAtWork"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; Entrepreneur and consultant &lt;a href="http://www.augustturak.com/life/index.html" target="_blank" title="August Turak"&gt;Augie Turak&lt;/a&gt; suggests looking to the 1500-year old monastic tradition followed by the Trappists of &lt;a href="http://mepkinabbey.org/" target="_blank" title="Mepkin Abbey"&gt;Mepkin Abbey&lt;/a&gt; for answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;His recent 4-part article &lt;a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/trappist-business-lessons-leadership-management-mepkin1.html" target="_blank"&gt;"Business Secrets of the Trappists"&lt;/a&gt; on &lt;a href="http://Forbes.com" target="_blank"&gt;Forbes.com&lt;/a&gt; reminds us how much time and energy is claimed by a fear-based environment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;blockquote dir="ltr"&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;"All too often our organizations fail to reach their potential because people spend too much time looking over their shoulders."&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;And another false path energy-waster:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;blockquote dir="ltr"&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;"Even the greatest ideas eventually come down to personal accountability ... and one of the biggest mistakes we can make is assuming that our own transformation depends on the other guy, whether that other guy is in the next cubicle or the corner office."&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;The solution is not an quick fix:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;blockquote dir="ltr"&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;em&gt;"A monk's formation is not limited to training sessions and inspirational speeches. Formation is a continuous process of peer-to-peer coaching and acculturation ..."&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;But for those of us wanting meaning and purpose, we might try a bit more &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_Saint_Benedict" target="_blank" title="Rule of St. Benedict"&gt;Ora et Labora&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; (Pray and Work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;The entire article is worth a read: &lt;a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/trappist-business-lessons-leadership-management-mepkin1.html" target="_blank"&gt;Part 1&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/trappist-business-lessons-leadership-management-mepkin2.html" target="_blank"&gt;Part 2&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/trappist-business-lessons-leadership-management-mepkin3.html" target="_blank"&gt;Part 3&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/17/trappist-business-lessons-leadership-management-mepkin4.html" target="_blank"&gt;Part 4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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    <entry>
        <title>Not So Nice</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SpiritedLeaders/~3/06M8Qk-cabM/winning-ways.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.spiritedleaders.com/2007/07/winning-ways.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-36968366</id>
        <published>2007-07-27T18:54:50-04:00</published>
        <updated>2007-07-27T18:54:50-04:00</updated>
        <summary>Rochelle's last post asked: Can we get beyond nice in our conversations with one another in the church--without being abusive? Can we get back to something real and honest and truthful? Extreme niceness bugs me too. It sucks the juice...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Carol Gerrish</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Identity" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Leadership" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-US" xml:base="http://www.spiritedleaders.com/">
&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;&lt;a href="http://gerrish.typepad.com/spiritedleaders/2007/07/getting-real.html"&gt;Rochelle's last post&lt;/a&gt; asked: &lt;/p&gt;&lt;blockquote dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;&lt;span style="color: #cc6600;"&gt;Can we get beyond nice in our conversations with one another in the church--without being abusive? Can we get back to something real and honest and truthful?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;&lt;img title="Toonice_3" alt="Toonice_3" src="http://gerrish.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/27/toonice_3.jpg" border="0" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px 5px" /&gt;Extreme niceness bugs me too. It sucks the juice out of conversations ... talking about the weather can only take you so far. It limits our capability for success ... people hold back ideas and suggestions, rather than risk rocking the boat. And it caps my spiritual growth ... I'm denied the connected, deeply caring relationships where real discovery and growth can take place.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;I was taught to be nice. But it didn't serve me well in the business world.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;In the workplace, the niceness described by Patricia H. Davis in &lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0800632567/transformingwo08"&gt;Beyond Nice: The Spiritual Wisdom of Adolescent Girls&lt;/a&gt; -- avoiding conflict, denying pain, being untruthful --&amp;nbsp; can turn into allowing others to take advantage, taking on more than can be handled, fulfilling needs of others at expense of one's own needs. Women are particularly susceptible -- just look at the huge array of books offering antidotes for stress and burnout to all of us 'nice girls'.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;Whether we are surrounded by too much niceness (as perhaps in church life) or take our niceness to work (as perhaps in our work life), we need to practice a new way. It takes courage to be authentic in our conversations and in our relationships, especially when in the middle of so many who are not or who don't know how. Often it seems easier to smile and nod (even if we have to put up with a bit of pain), or perhaps just leave.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;We know what many women executives who are looking for authenticity choose to do -- leave. Corporate America has not been able to keep the best and the brightest. The same for congregations?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;But, whether in the workplace or the church, if we want authenticity, as leaders we've got to be willing to make first moves.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;Here are three suggestions of how to start being 'not so nice'. This will probably be slow going -- sea changes often are -- so make a change, repeat, and repeat, and probably repeat again.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;ul dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style="color: #cc6600;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tell the truth&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. Set limits, be willing to say 'no'. Stop agreeing to do something when you don't really have space in your calendar or aren't interested.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/li&gt;

&lt;li&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style="color: #cc6600;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go deeper&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. Ask questions that will take conversations below the surface. Turn a conversation about the weather into a meaningful discussion about global warming and what we can each do to care for the environment.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/li&gt;

&lt;li&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style="color: #cc6600;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a partner&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. Jesus sent the disciples out in twos. Join with a colleague, friend, mentor, coach to get the encouragement and acknowledgment that will freshen your perspective and keep your spirits up. &lt;/div&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/div&gt;

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