tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80999207438779835572013-05-16T17:30:18.551+10:00"For every human there is a quest to find the answer to why I am here, who am I, where did I come from, where am I going. For me that became the most important thing in my life. Everything else is secondary." - George HarrisonButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.comBlogger499125Subscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with NewsGatorSubscribe with My AOLSubscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with NetvibesSubscribe with GoogleSubscribe with PageflakesSubscribe with PlusmoSubscribe with FeedLoungeSubscribe with The Free DictionarySubscribe with Bitty BrowserSubscribe with NewsAlloySubscribe with Live.comSubscribe with Excite MIXSubscribe with Yourminis.comSubscribe with Attensa for OutlookSubscribe with WebwagSubscribe with netomat HubSubscribe with Daily RotationSubscribe with Podcast ReadySubscribe with FlurrySubscribe with ParticlsAdd to Any Feed Readertag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-82787732367171008012013-01-03T18:11:00.003+11:002013-01-03T18:24:12.785+11:002013-01-03T18:24:12.785+11:00

The past year was a period of adjustment, of becoming. Or, rather, of gathering up that which this self has become and recognising it and putting it on. A bit, I think, like a butterfly or moth, newly emerged from the cocoon, as it sits and quietly flaps its wings for some time to get them dry, strong, and ready for flight. One of the things that has been appearing in my reality for a while

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-74268349969124457022012-11-30T11:58:00.000+11:002012-11-30T11:58:11.798+11:002012-11-30T11:58:11.798+11:00

Hard to explain how I came to this, or it to me. It was my first choice, but on some level, I thought maybe I shouldn't be the one to choose. Usually, the word has kind of appeared in my reality on its own, as if by divine guidance (no, really). So I hesitated to just pick a word/concept and say, "This is it!" But this IS it. And my choosing of it has to do with last year's word, "Decide". Duh. I

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-89682267592681477502012-11-22T17:35:00.000+11:002012-11-22T17:35:24.318+11:002012-11-22T17:35:24.318+11:00

In the end, we return to the question, just how much do you love truth? Do you really love truth or are you just curious? Do you love it enough to rebuild your understanding to conform to a reality that doesn’t fit your current beliefs, and doesn’t feel 120% happy? Do you love truth enough to continue seeking even when it hurts, when it reveals aspects of yourself (or human society, or the

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-24330325422556125092012-11-22T17:34:00.001+11:002012-11-22T17:35:47.733+11:002012-11-22T17:35:47.733+11:00

My "word of the year" has been "decide". I've actually spent more than year with it, and I didn't really understand the purpose of it, nor how it went along with my previous "word of the year", which was "surrender". Now, I think I finally get it, but it's very subtle, and probably beyond my ability to articulate, and even if I wanted to articulate it, I don't think I'd bother. I will say that

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-43994139130833387432012-11-04T15:24:00.000+11:002012-11-04T15:24:44.896+11:002012-11-04T15:24:44.896+11:00

It's been more than a year since my last "word of the year" appeared in my awareness. I've been looking around to see if a new one is going to present itself, and so far, no, there isn't one. I find this interesting for various reasons. Perhaps it was a custom and habit that is no longer necessary. I have a lot of those, things I did, which had value at the time, but which later became simply

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-79135507314581827362012-10-29T01:11:00.002+11:002012-10-29T01:11:54.015+11:002012-10-29T01:11:54.015+11:00

Waking Up Hurts The author of that piece clearly understands what it is to awaken, to be awake. Good article, give it a read. Just as a side comment, I wouldn't necessarily say waking up hurts; my experience is that while some parts of it were acutely uncomfortable, the actual awakening part was more just really disorienting than anything else. When you're used to navigating the world with your

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-83248847116441437722012-09-11T00:28:00.000+10:002012-09-11T00:33:24.692+10:002012-09-11T00:33:24.692+10:00

I keep feeling like I'm right on the cusp of something. Some change, some motion, some evolution, I don't know what. But I keep perceiving it. The frustrating thing is that I don't know what, if anything, I ought to be doing about it. Probably, "nothing", because that's usually the right answer. Let go, release, let it, surrender. That's usually the way it works. And I'm trying to do that, but

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-73516441173964529482012-08-20T12:53:00.000+10:002012-08-20T14:11:18.928+10:002012-08-20T14:11:18.928+10:00

I've been re-reading a book I read some years ago, one that set up a multitude of little mines in the structure of my reality. As the mines went off, some right away, some quite a while after the fact, the whole framework started to really collapse. The book, in case you're interested, was Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna. It's gotten mixed reactions from readers, but

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-77705367801029375732012-06-13T20:59:00.000+10:002012-08-20T14:56:23.444+10:002012-08-20T14:56:23.444+10:00

Reality has gone wobbly again. I can't explain this, have never been able to articulate it, but my reality is not where I left it last time I checked. Stuff is happening that should not be, and other stuff is not happening which should be. I can't figure it out. It's crazy-making, to be honest. I won't give all the details, but stuff is disappearing and other stuff is turning up unexpectedly

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-56911599331132208342012-06-12T18:22:00.000+10:002012-08-20T14:57:28.802+10:002012-08-20T14:57:28.802+10:00

I've been experiencing some physical manifestations of resistance. It took me a while to work out just what, exactly was causing this manifestation (it's a physical injury that flares up periodically). After soul searching, meditation, thought, and just asking "What is this about?" I worked it out: It's about resistance to moving forward. (And that fits the history of this particular injury/

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-72651449790138323352012-06-07T03:35:00.000+10:002012-06-07T03:38:14.931+10:002012-06-07T03:38:14.931+10:00

A finger points at the moon. And instead of looking to see where the finger is pointing to see the moon they argue about the finger and its motives and the quality of its manicure and whether or not the finger knows how to point or where But they don't look beyond the finger and they don't see the moon.

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-45853821745848724152012-05-30T18:50:00.000+10:002012-06-08T04:20:06.810+10:002012-06-08T04:20:06.810+10:00

For various reasons, I've been spending a lot of time dealing with very, very deep issues. Beliefs that go back to infancy (which, being pre-verbal and having been generated before the mind was even remotely well-formed, are elusive and incredibly persistent), and pain that goes back that far, as well. I'm going to write this, despite the sense of shame and fear associated with it, because I must

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-7406433806088260392012-05-22T07:15:00.000+10:002012-08-20T14:16:41.346+10:002012-08-20T14:16:41.346+10:00

I've been a natural mystic all my life. I had my first real mystical vision/experience when I was about five, the usual golden-white light and presence of God type thing. I've had direct communication from what I perceived to be God, even as a child, and I started having precognitive and spiritually significant dreams around the time I hit puberty. I've had all manner of visions,

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-6843928279913908042012-05-20T21:32:00.000+10:002012-05-20T21:32:44.747+10:002012-05-20T21:32:44.747+10:00

Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to children. I like children. I appreciate that they are children and have much to learn. I try to be patient and answer their questions but their questions often make no sense and yet they demand answers all the same. But as much as I may like them and delight to see them grow in awareness or rather to see Awareness grow in them I often hunger for adult

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-91081319418266274182012-05-15T18:28:00.002+10:002012-08-20T14:24:41.528+10:002012-08-20T14:24:41.528+10:00

Admittedly, I have always found Adyashanti's style of teaching resonant, so that may be why I enjoyed this interview so much. I just thought I'd share the link: The Taboo of Enlightenment I was particularly taken with this: "Enlightenment is awakening from the dream of being a separate me to being the universal reality. It’s not an experience or a perception that occurs to a separate person

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-38193281744531107522012-05-11T00:39:00.000+10:002012-05-11T00:39:12.160+10:002012-05-11T00:39:12.160+10:00

I have seen the pattern of belief/thought that apparently generates the "can't make myself understood" pattern that turns up in my reality regularly and has all of my conscious life. It was formed (as most of these things are) when I was very young. It's tied to "nobody listens to me" and to "nobody sees/appreciates me". Whatever, I surrendered the whole tangle of thoughts and beliefs. One thing

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-37396387488608672592012-05-02T19:44:00.000+10:002012-06-08T04:31:35.000+10:002012-06-08T04:31:35.000+10:00

I wasn't going to write about this, but it has stayed with me and keeps nudging me, reappearing in my awareness, so I'll write it down. Some years ago, I had a vision/experience which I recorded on this very journal: A Pool in the Forest. This vision is directly related to that one (yes, three and a bit years later). I had to search this blog to find that entry, and when I reread it, I was

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-65695870802446855022012-04-30T02:15:00.000+10:002012-08-20T14:15:48.139+10:002012-08-20T14:15:48.139+10:00

I had a kind of amusing variation on the "house" dream (see the dreams tag for more on that). Last night before I went to bed, I was sitting with my husband, watching him play a video game. The game is pretty intense, and it involves various fighting of aliens and zombies and so on, but it also has a lot of finding caches of goodies and solving puzzles. It was the latter qualities that showed up

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-10398751492989493052012-04-28T17:35:00.002+10:002012-04-30T02:23:11.946+10:002012-04-30T02:23:11.946+10:00

Again and again, it arises in my reality that communication of matters metaphysical (for lack of a better term) is problematic at best, especially for me. For a long time now, I've had the experience of being apparently unable to express things in a way that is understandable. All manner of misunderstandings seem to arise when I do. People take up arguing with me, or entirely misinterpret my

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-79837354041433188422012-04-27T17:01:00.000+10:002012-04-27T17:04:05.945+10:002012-04-27T17:04:05.945+10:00

All metaphysical discussion is profitless unless it causes us to seek within the Self for the true reality. All controversies about creation, the nature of the universe, evolution, the purpose of God, etc., are useless. They are not conducive to our true happiness. People try to find out about things which are outside of them before they try to find out ‘Who am I?’ Only by the latter means can

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-51403310620903268212012-04-25T16:11:00.002+10:002012-04-25T16:12:43.044+10:002012-04-25T16:12:43.044+10:00

Our beliefs shape and even create our reality. This is the best visual metaphor I think I've ever seen for this concept.

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-91898159852760709832012-04-24T19:08:00.002+10:002012-04-24T19:08:59.251+10:002012-04-24T19:08:59.251+10:00

So, I haven't written anything here for a long time, relatively speaking. I haven't because, well, I haven't had anything to write here, really. My life is progressing and it's fine. I'm engaged with various aspects of my experience and the focus seems to have shifted from the intangible, the mystical, to the mundane, which isn't mundane at all, or at least, I don't experience as such.

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-17030929527061489272012-01-18T00:49:00.000+11:002012-04-24T19:12:51.045+10:002012-04-24T19:12:51.045+10:00

Lately, I don't seem to be able to dream anything that doesn't involve the "house" symbol. It's getting a little frustrating, mostly because I do know what the "house" represents (self) but I don't know what the dreams are indicating. First "house" dream was set in my parents' house. They were not present, but my husband was. The house as represented in the dream was nearly exact to the real

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-51000050183856790582012-01-16T18:41:00.000+11:002012-04-24T19:15:57.891+10:002012-04-24T19:15:57.891+10:00

This dream had several versions, and most of the details didn't stay with me. The first incarnation of the dream, however, involved my husband and myself going to a house to meet someone who lived there (or something like that; details are foggy) and when we got there, we found the corpse of a recently murdered woman. Somehow we knew she lived in the house, and that the man who was still there,

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099920743877983557.post-79039998930862545282012-01-15T21:17:00.000+11:002012-08-20T14:13:11.901+10:002012-08-20T14:13:11.901+10:00

In this dream, I was inside my home (home in the dream, not my actual home), with curtains drawn. One of my kids was apparently at home with me. The other child (my youngest) was at school. Without warning, the sun outside became extremely bright. It was like someone flipped a switch. Light was flooding in, and it was, frankly, nearly blinding. I didn't have heavy curtains, and the curtains I

ButterflyWomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02948934071019630463noreply@blogger.com0