I remember I wasn’t feeling well that day, and I was at home in my nightgown in the basement.  My older brother put on a tape for me to listen to for entertainment. My father who worked the night shift was resting, and my mother who wasn’t feeling well, was also resting.

The house was quiet As I was listening to my story tape my eye fell on this little beaded lantern we had. It was so unique that I was entranced with it. I asked my brother to light it.  He lit it for me and went back upstairs.  I was alone, staring at the little flame and the pack of matches that he left behind. Something in me wanted ro give it a try. So I blew out the flame and lit my own match. The lantern was high on the shelf and I couldn’t quite make it. It fell down.

I’ll never know how it actually happened but in a matter of moments, the whole basement was in flames.

I ran upstairs and to our cleaning lady Ruby, and she told my sister to wake up my parents. It was snowing outside, and Ruby stuck my little feet into my mother’s big tall boots and sent me out of the house.

There were 9 of us kids and my parents were used to emergencies.  There was always an emergency.  So when my sister came yelling about a fire, my father said, “There’s always a fire in the oven” and continued to rest.My mother too was only mildly alarmed. Finally, my sister convinced them it was serious, and they got out of the house across the street to a neighbor’s house and at last, someone called the fire department.

I was alone this whole time. Terrified that I would get into trouble, I clunked through the snow in my boots and hid in a neighbor’s garage. By the time I made it across the street somehow to be with my family, flames were coming out of our windows.  The basement and first floor were ruined.

Our family huddled together.. It was right before Passover, and we had no home.  We had to start all over. The community rallied around us to provide for us and help us get on our feet.

Nobody asked me if I started that fire.  Nobody got me in trouble.  One of my siblings jokingly told me there was a newspaper article that little Rivka Malka had started the fire.  I held this in my heart with icy fear for years.

Our family recovered. We spent three months in someone else’s house. Insurance covered everything. My parents were happy we got new furniture.  Everyone moved on, and the fire became a thing of the past. For everyone but me.  I held onto this guilt and shame that I didn’t have words for, but that manifested as a feeling I couldn’t shake.  I just knew, “I am a bad little girl. I burned my house down.”

It could be that I didn’t even start the fire, I found out as I spoke this over with my mother years later.  It could have been an electrical fire that I just associated with the lantern.  We’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter.  I carried the burden of starting the fire for decades, and it took a long time to uncover that feeling and speak my pain of the shame that I carried.

That shame became a wedge of hidden essence in almost all of my relationships and especially in my relationship with G-d.

When I began to realize how deeply entrenched I was in my negative beliefs, I began a journey of authenticity. First to admit to the workings of my heart and then to confront my beliefs about myself head-on, again and again. I didn’t do this alone. G-d guided me to experiences where I would fall again and again into my old patterns. With each of these relationships, I confronted myself again. The healing was a group effort. G-d, myself, my loved ones, and the various loving mentors and coaches He sent my way.

With sweat and tears and layers and seemingly endless mistakes, I recovered from my low self-worth and began functioning from the place of my intrinsic goodness and value. 

I was challenged again and again in codependence and pain and with each challenge, more of my value was clarified. I am still amazed at the depths and lengths that Hashem went through to bring me to this place. And its ever-evolving. The process just continues. The journey to self-love is gorgeous and hard-earned.

So… 

What is your story? Something happened to you, because something always happens because life happens. That’s how it goes.

Then comes the stories that we create around what happened. So many pains and shames and fears and beliefs branch out from those early beliefs. They take hold as if they are the truth. But they’re not.

The truth is that we long to be set free.

If you’d like to speak with me personally about healing from a painful story you’re stuck in, please don’t carry it another minute and schedule a coaching call. You can set up a time by clicking here:

RivkaMalka.com/personal-coaching 

The post I Burned Down My House… And Went on a Healing Journey appeared first on Rivka Malka.

I shouldn’t have survived, but I did. Laying in the ICU covered in tubes and bandages, I came back to this world flooded with the awareness of G-d’s unconditional love. I could feel it. I knew it as a reality. It wasn’t just that He saved me. It was that my brain and being, my very soul had been reset.

I grew up with The Awfulness.

I call it Awfulness, because truly that’s what it was. To walk around the world without feeling G-d’s love is awful. It’s a guilt producing stress inducing, self-loathing, dry bones life.

I can say that now because I’m out of it. But when I was in it – it was awful, and I didn’t even know what that it could be any other way.

I actually grew up in a home of G-d’s love. So why did I turn out with the Awfulness?

The answer in a word is: Shame.

The post How Shame Hurt My Emuna appeared first on Rivka Malka.

Forgiveness is holding many things at once and containing them with conviction and compassion. I hold these things in a warm, smooth bowl and I carry them lightly yet close to my belly. Each one has its voice and I listen now as they sing a cradlesong of freedom.

Pain is the first voice I hear calling from my bowl. I acknowledge its presence and catch that sound and feel its weight. I feel the power of that pain and realize that if my experience had been any less brutal the learning would have been that much less. I honor the pain as the essential cleansing fire it is; an initiation to new doors of wisdom. The pain is my teacher; and I, a willing student.  

Perspective is the next voice. In its notes I hear tales. They come to life and let me see. Where once I saw only one story I now see many.  I concede to those stories and listen with an open heart.  They speak of humanity and struggle. They speak of greatness and yearning. And they let me know that each story has so much more choice than I ever acknowledged.  There are endless ways to perceive what I once thought of as simple. Every perspective has its truth; it all fits in the bowl.

My bowl is singing a soft song of grace, when suddenly a new sound calls out. Like a hummingbird flitting around me or a fairy that’s perched on my shoulder, it twitters and chirps, it teases me. Its tender leaves are young and it’s barely begun to grow roots. This sound is hope. 

Hope has sprung up from the green of forgiveness. It grows in forgiveness because forgiveness opens doors to life.

Out of nowhere comes music that compels me to dance. A dance that I didn’t know was possible.  My load is lighter, my breath is deeper. The music of hope is strong and clear. It’s rhythmic and flowing and old and new. Hope’s melody is of this moment and the astonishing things I can create from here. 

As I dance with forgiveness my arms are full. There is no room for anything else. I can’t carry two bowls at once. I thought I could but now I know better. I know now that the bowl of forgiveness is huge. And to hold it I must let go of everything else. My arms circle it like a great big mixing bowl. It reminds me of my challah bowl. I pray as I make challah and I pray now.

 I bow my head in the scent of forgiveness and I ask; let me hold on to this scent. Let me not only smell it, but dig my hands into to it. Knead it, pound it into my being. Let hope and forgiveness get under my nails and onto my counters. Let it leave glorious messes of life around me and cling to my essence. Let it follow me home and bless my family. 

I’m kneading forgiveness now. I’m creating something new, something nourishing. Something I want to be, something I want to give; something that would be impossible without the accompanying pain.  And so I bless it. 

I bless the pain and the One who gave it. I bless the thorny tentacles that led me here. I bless the Oneness and the knowing that in someone else’s bowl perhaps I am the one causing the pain. I bless that person and pray we find our way.  

And as I’m doing all this blessing and kneading and forgiving the work is still not over. There is a space that calls for more. There are still places that forgiveness hasn’t dared touch. Places I’ve layered with blankets of stone. I need to surrender my protections and let the tears flow. I need to risk it all and not hold back. I need to forgive myself. 

For a moment the bowl becomes heavy as I wonder if I can really do it. My self-judgment is my last grip on the past. Do I have what it takes to live in the now? Can I really let go? 

 And like a fountain burbling up, my soul’s voice rumbles up from within me. My heartbeat thumps with a message of truth.  I hear “You can live alive or die a slow death.” I can forgive myself and create my future or I can hold back and die forever in the past.

 I choose life.

I choose because I want life. I chose forgiveness because without it I am dead. I choose life because life is delicious. I’m done with standing in the corner watching others eat while I’m on a hunger strike with no cause.

 I let go and like a newborn that cries as it emerges, I cry too. I am born into this moment and freed from the past. Joy is here. It bubbles within me lends me new eyes. 

The past makes me laugh and the future is wide open. Joy and forgiveness mingle with hope. They soothe the pain and remove regret. I am cleansed. I am happy I am here. I chose LIFE.

Do you want to go on a journey of Forgiveness? It’s some of the greatest work you’ll ever do. You can download a free Forgiveness worksheet here and it will help you to get started. If you need more support, don’t hesitate to set up a call at RivkaMalka.com/personal-coaching.

Download the Forgiveness Worksheet and work through your story.

The post Forgiveness Means Choosing Life appeared first on Rivka Malka.

Forgiveness is holding many things at once and containing them with conviction and compassion. I hold these things in a warm, smooth bowl and I carry them lightly yet close to my belly. Each one has its voice and I listen now as they sing a cradlesong of freedom.

Pain is the first voice I hear calling from my bowl. I acknowledge its presence and catch that sound and feel its weight. I feel the power of that pain and realize that if my experience had been any less brutal the learning would have been that much less. I honor the pain as the essential cleansing fire it is; an initiation to new doors of wisdom. The pain is my teacher; and I, a willing student.  

Perspective is the next voice. In its notes I hear tales. They come to life and let me see. Where once I saw only one story I now see many.  I concede to those stories and listen with an open heart.  They speak of humanity and struggle. They speak of greatness and yearning. And they let me know that each story has so much more choice than I ever acknowledged.  There are endless ways to perceive what I once thought of as simple. Every perspective has its truth; it all fits in the bowl.

My bowl is singing a soft song of grace, when suddenly a new sound calls out. Like a hummingbird flitting around me or a fairy that’s perched on my shoulder, it twitters and chirps, it teases me. Its tender leaves are young and it’s barely begun to grow roots. This sound is hope. 

Hope has sprung up from the green of forgiveness. It grows in forgiveness because forgiveness opens doors to life.

Out of nowhere comes music that compels me to dance. A dance that I didn’t know was possible.  My load is lighter, my breath is deeper. The music of hope is strong and clear. It’s rhythmic and flowing and old and new. Hope’s melody is of this moment and the astonishing things I can create from here. 

As I dance with forgiveness my arms are full. There is no room for anything else. I can’t carry two bowls at once. I thought I could but now I know better. I know now that the bowl of forgiveness is huge. And to hold it I must let go of everything else. My arms circle it like a great big mixing bowl. It reminds me of my challah bowl. I pray as I make challah and I pray now.

 I bow my head in the scent of forgiveness and I ask; let me hold on to this scent. Let me not only smell it, but dig my hands into to it. Knead it, pound it into my being. Let hope and forgiveness get under my nails and onto my counters. Let it leave glorious messes of life around me and cling to my essence. Let it follow me home and bless my family. 

I’m kneading forgiveness now. I’m creating something new, something nourishing. Something I want to be, something I want to give; something that would be impossible without the accompanying pain.  And so I bless it. 

I bless the pain and the One who gave it. I bless the thorny tentacles that led me here. I bless the Oneness and the knowing that in someone else’s bowl perhaps I am the one causing the pain. I bless that person and pray we find our way.  

And as I’m doing all this blessing and kneading and forgiving the work is still not over. There is a space that calls for more. There are still places that forgiveness hasn’t dared touch. Places I’ve layered with blankets of stone. I need to surrender my protections and let the tears flow. I need to risk it all and not hold back. I need to forgive myself. 

For a moment the bowl becomes heavy as I wonder if I can really do it. My self-judgment is my last grip on the past. Do I have what it takes to live in the now? Can I really let go? 

 And like a fountain burbling up, my soul’s voice rumbles up from within me. My heartbeat thumps with a message of truth.  I hear “You can live alive or die a slow death.” I can forgive myself and create my future or I can hold back and die forever in the past.

 I choose life.

I choose because I want life. I chose forgiveness because without it I am dead. I choose life because life is delicious. I’m done with standing in the corner watching others eat while I’m on a hunger strike with no cause.

 I let go and like a newborn that cries as it emerges, I cry too. I am born into this moment and freed from the past. Joy is here. It bubbles within me lends me new eyes. 

The past makes me laugh and the future is wide open. Joy and forgiveness mingle with hope. They soothe the pain and remove regret. I am cleansed. I am happy I am here. I chose LIFE.

Do you want to go on a journey of Forgiveness? It’s some of the greatest work you’ll ever do. You can download a free Forgiveness worksheet here and it will help you to get started. If you need more support, don’t hesitate to set up a call at RivkaMalka.com/personal-coaching.

Download the Forgiveness Worksheet and work through your story.

. 

The post Forgiveness Means Choosing Life appeared first on Rivka Malka.

I remember I wasn’t feeling well that day, and I was at home in my nightgown in the basement.  My older brother put on a tape for me to listen to for entertainment. My father who worked the night shift was resting, and my mother who wasn’t feeling well, was also resting.

The house was quiet As I was listening to my story tape my eye fell on this little beaded lantern we had. It was so unique that I was entranced with it. I asked my brother to light it.  He lit it for me and went back upstairs.  I was alone, staring at the little flame and the pack of matches that he left behind. Something in me wanted ro give it a try. So I blew out the flame and lit my own match. The lantern was high on the shelf and I couldn’t quite make it. It fell down.

I’ll never know how it actually happened but in a matter of moments, the whole basement was in flames.

I ran upstairs and to our cleaning lady Ruby, and she told my sister to wake up my parents. It was snowing outside, and Ruby stuck my little feet into my mother’s big tall boots and sent me out of the house.

There were 9 of us kids and my parents were used to emergencies.  There was always an emergency.  So when my sister came yelling about a fire, my father said, “There’s always a fire in the oven” and continued to rest.My mother too was only mildly alarmed. Finally, my sister convinced them it was serious, and they got out of the house across the street to a neighbor’s house and at last, someone called the fire department.

I was alone this whole time. Terrified that I would get into trouble, I clunked through the snow in my boots and hid in a neighbor’s garage. By the time I made it across the street somehow to be with my family, flames were coming out of our windows.  The basement and first floor were ruined.

Our family huddled together.. It was right before Passover, and we had no home.  We had to start all over. The community rallied around us to provide for us and help us get on our feet.

Nobody asked me if I started that fire.  Nobody got me in trouble.  One of my siblings jokingly told me there was a newspaper article that little Rivka Malka had started the fire.  I held this in my heart with icy fear for years.

Our family recovered. We spent three months in someone else’s house. Insurance covered everything. My parents were happy we got new furniture.  Everyone moved on, and the fire became a thing of the past. For everyone but me.  I held onto this guilt and shame that I didn’t have words for, but that manifested as a feeling I couldn’t shake.  I just knew, “I am a bad little girl. I burned my house down.”

It could be that I didn’t even start the fire, I found out as I spoke this over with my mother years later.  It could have been an electrical fire that I just associated with the lantern.  We’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter.  I carried the burden of starting the fire for decades, and it took a long time to uncover that feeling and speak my pain of the shame that I carried.

That shame became a wedge of hidden essence in almost all of my relationships and especially in my relationship with G-d.

When I began to realize how deeply entrenched I was in my negative beliefs, I began a journey of authenticity. First to admit to the workings of my heart and then to confront my beliefs about myself head-on, again and again. I didn’t do this alone. G-d guided me to experiences where I would fall again and again into my old patterns. With each of these relationships, I confronted myself again. The healing was a group effort. G-d, myself, my loved ones, and the various loving mentors and coaches He sent my way.

With sweat and tears and layers and seemingly endless mistakes, I recovered from my low self-worth and began functioning from the place of my intrinsic goodness and value. 

I was challenged again and again in codependence and pain and with each challenge, more of my value was clarified. I am still amazed at the depths and lengths that Hashem went through to bring me to this place. And its ever-evolving. The process just continues. The journey to self-love is gorgeous and hard-earned.

So… 

What is your story? Something happened to you, because something always happens because life happens. That’s how it goes.

Then comes the stories that we create around what happened. So many pains and shames and fears and beliefs branch out from those early beliefs. They take hold as if they are the truth. But they’re not.

The truth is that we long to be set free.

If you’d like to speak with me personally about healing from a painful story you’re stuck in, please don’t carry it another minute and schedule a coaching call. You can set up a time by clicking here:

RivkaMalka.com/personal-coaching 

The post I Burned Down My House… And Went on a Healing Journey appeared first on Rivka Malka.

The post Words G-d Might Want Us to Hear appeared first on Rivka Malka.

The miracle of the oil is that it lasted for eight days.

And that, my friends, is only ONE of the thousands of miracles that Hashem did for us in the Chanuka story.

Here’s another one that we can focus on.
The miracle of searching for that last jar of oil.

The Temple was ransacked. The holy jars of oil were violated, their seals broken. The Kohanim had nothing to light a Menorah with.
What kept them searching?

They could have given up. They could have said ” It’s just not going to happen. The Menorah will not be lit. There’s no way.”

But they didn’t give up.
This, my friends, is a miracle.

A miracle in Hebrew is called a Nes, a banner, similar to the word nisayon, a test.
Rashi says a nisayon, is analogous to a potter banging his pots in order to show you their strength.

He does not want to break them. In fact, he is proud to show you what they can withstand. These are AMAZING vessels!

The test of not giving up when all seems lost creates a banner – a waving flag and testimony to who you are.

When you stand at the candles thinking about all the miracles that Hashem has done for you. Think about this. The miracle of you facing everything Hashem has put into Your life to test you, day after day.

Your strength is a miracle! Your belief that there IS one more small jug of oil within you is what keeps you going.

And Hashem is so proud of His children. He rewards everything we do.
“You held out for that small jar? I will show you that even a small jar is more than enough.”

“You can only do one more day of this test?  That’s all you have to do. I will take care of the rest.”

When we light the Menorah tonight, we start with just one light.
This is like your one little jar of oil within you. Light that candle with all of your being. For it is the spark of your miraculous essence.
It is a testimony to the incredible partnership that we have with the Almighty.

He will always be there for us.
And we can always trust that there is more in us that can be there to serve Him.

This life is a miracle. You are a miracle. And every night this miracle will grow.🕎

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
Doors are OPEN for registration at Rivka Malka’s School of Coaching and Transformation.
50% off Chanuka SALE happening now! Use coupon code shineyourlight
rivkamalka.com/coaching-school

The post Chanuka Meditation – Night 1 appeared first on Rivka Malka.

Who do I want to be?

Those are questions have I heard and even asked of myself. For the last few weeks and months I have had the grounding and inspiring experience of being in the Redemption School of Coaching and I have been diving head-first into that exact question.  Truth be told, this is another ‘fuelling station’ on my journey of self-discovery and healing.  A humbling, scary, wonderful, sad, happy, exciting journey that I have actively been on for nearly a decade.

So, let me ask those big and powerful questions again.  Who am I?  What makes me tick?  What is my purpose? What is my essence?  WOAH!  I know.  I mean, really, who am I?  I am a daughter and daughter-in-law, sister and sister-in-law, wife, mother, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, neighbor, employee, cook, driver, maid, and so much more!  I run from morning to night, 24/7.  Who am I?  Who cares!  Who has the time to figure it out?  I mean, I once knew, or at least I think I did.  I was once a highly motivated, people-driven person.  I thrilled in working with and helping others.  From my earliest days as a babysitter and mother’s helper, I always felt ‘at home’ helping others, anticipating their needs and being part of something bigger than myself.  But somewhere along the way, I got lost.

Life happened, and I got lost.  If fact I was so lost that I ended up at the bottom of a pit.  I felt stuck and unsettled.  I felt very much alone and unwanted. I felt that my only purpose was to serve others.  My worth was dependant on my relation to how much others needed me.  Ultimately, I felt I was replaceable, dispensable and valueless.  It was a very painful and harsh awakening when life began to slow down just enough for me to realize that somewhere, somehow, even though I had more now than ever before, I lost me.  I became unrecognizable to myself.  When I looked in the mirror I very much did not like what I saw.

I had to change. I had to figure it out.  I mean, how hard could it be?  I had a problem and after all, I have always been the problem solver, the person with the answers, the person other people came to with their problems.  If I could help them, then I had to find a way to help myself.  I had to ask myself those tough, powerful questions.  So I did.  I would love to tell you that then I had a wonderful epiphany, and everything ran full speed back to who I wanted to be.  But alas, life and healing are not that simple.  After I had the courage to ask those questions, I was still stuck.  I had no answers and I didn’t know where to look to find the answers.  Now, I was lost AND confused!  And lonely.  And did I ever feel very alone.  Did anyone know? Did anyone see me?  How could they?  I didn’t see myself.  To the outside world, I had it all together.  I had a job, I had a family, I sent meals to new moms and went to every kiddush.  Inside, I was a shadow.  The more organized and ‘out there’ I was, the more I hid and ran from my truth.

The truth was I knew this was not the life I was meant to have.  I like to be happy.  I love to sing and draw and paint and write.  When I asked myself who I was I realized I no longer sang, not even in the shower.  I hadn’t picked up a paintbrush or sketch pad in years.  The shadow inside had become my everything.  I was a shadow; a mere image.  No wonder I felt my only purpose was to serve others!

So I began to search for answers.  I read self-help books and blogs.  I sought out professional help.  I read books on Emunah and bitachon.  And slowly I found a narrow, barely-there staircase inside my pit.  One step at a time I began climbing my way out.  The higher I got, the clearer the steps became.

The more organized and ‘out there’ I was, the more I hid and ran from my truth.

Then came Redemption.  Well, really the Redemption Retreats. I had been hearing about and seeing glimpses of this new ‘thing’ online.  A healthy place to strip away the barriers and step you’re your glorious light!  Wow!  It sounded amazing.  It sounded ‘not for me’.

As luck would have it (well, really, as Hashem planned it!) the one and only driving force behind the Geula Project/Redemption Retreats, Rivka Malka, who I knew from her days as co-head of Wrapunzel, and I ran into each other at a wedding (with a third friend, who is really more like a sister).  We started to talk and catch up when Rivka Malka mentioned this new venture she was on:  Redemption Retreats.  To which my friend piped up “we should have you here in Montreal to do that!”  My silly insta-reply was “ya, what she said.  I’ll back her up and make it happen with her”.  Oy!  What was I thinking!  I wasn’t.  That was the beauty of it.  My soul, my neshama, didn’t let my shadow or my head get in the way.  It knew what it wanted and it recognized it right then and there and so it made me speak up and find the next step.

All that summer my friend and I kept asking ourselves “what did we sign up for?”.  Little did we know, Hashem had drafted us onto his Geula team.  He already had a few great players, but he was looking for a few more.  So, a retreat was planned and a retreat happened.  And I have never been the same since!  It turns out redemption was (and is) for me!

Through the Redemption School and continuing with my personal journey, I have learned about essence.  My essence to be specific.  I learned, that we all have an essence and it is that intrinsic nature; those indispensable qualities that determine our character.  I know that sounds very lofty and ethereal but trust me;  we all have an essence, and, once I discovered mine, it became one of my most empowering assets.

How did I discover my essence?  Well, when I first connected with my essence I felt whole.  Completely whole.  I had a deep-in-my-gut feeling that all was as it should be and a supreme quietness in my head.  There were no internal arguments, no conflicts, no reasoning or questioning, no doubt, and no pride.  My heart, head, and soul were in unison.  I couldn’t recall any time in my adult like that I felt like that.  I was foreign.  It was wonderful.

That moment defined for me what my essence is and where my essence lives.  Part of my essence in an internal desire to help people see their beauty and power.  I have always had a strong sense of empathy.  I was given a gift (which I hid for a very long time) to see the energy and auras around people.  This is a strong part of my essence.  Sharing the beauty and strength I see around me connects me with who I really am and strengthens me.  

Since re-discovering my essence (since I truly believe I was once very connected with it), I have become more and more aware of when it pokes it’s head out.  I am learning to connect with it actively and coax it out by knowingly, deliberately and consciously being in a space where my heart, soul, and mind can sing in harmony.

From the beginnings of my journey nearly a decade ago through the Redemption School of Coaching, I have had a few amazing ‘aha’ moments, some tough times and a lot of insight.  I have learned that I am a who and a what (there are also the why, when and how, but I’ll save those for another time).  I am learning to accept that new and deeper understanding of myself and through that acceptance, I am learning to love and honor ALL my parts and layers.

So, to return to my original question, “who am I?”  I don’t fully know yet.  What I do know is that I have a lot of love in my soul, a compassionate heart and a problem-solving oriented mind.  Together they make me a very powerful and valuable.  I also know that to truly continue discovering who I am and then to live by its light I must choose a path of openness, acceptance, beauty, and love in ALL that G-d has put before me.

May it be my blessing to you that we use the upcoming days and weeks to accept that we have a choice.  We can choose how we move forward on our journeys.  Because life is a most glorious and exhilarating journey and I look forward to sharing mine with you.

With love,

Rachel

_______________________________________________

About Rachel Tock-Wormeli

As a wife and mother of 3 unique and amazing children, Rachel has experienced many ups, downs, twists and turns along her journey.  One of the most powerful ups occurred when she discovered her voice and chose to share it. Join Rachel and find something of yourself somewhere along this topsy-turvey, amazing, scary and wondrous journey we call life. 

The post Welcome to my Journey – Introducing Rachel appeared first on Rivka Malka.

I shouldn’t have survived, but I did. Laying in the ICU covered in tubes and bandages, I came back to this world flooded with the awareness of G-d’s unconditional love. I could feel it. I knew it as a reality. It wasn’t just that He saved me. It was that my brain and being, my very soul had been reset.

I grew up with The Awfulness.

I call it Awfulness, because truly that’s what it was. To walk around the world without feeling G-d’s love is awful. It’s a guilt producing stress inducing, self-loathing, dry bones life.

I can say that now because I’m out of it. But when I was in it – it was awful, and I didn’t even know what that it could be any other way.

I actually grew up in a home of G-d’s love. So why did I turn out with the Awfulness?

The answer in a word is: Shame.

Read more…

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You are powerful, but do you know how to use that power?

As a woman, you are constantly figuring out, building up, or breaking down relationships. You’re working hard to be vulnerable but not needy, to make life move without being controlling, and to give while also receiving. And when you feel that you’re getting nowhere, one of two things is true: either you’re not being real with yourself and the relationship, or you don’t know what the other person really needs.

It’s a sad fact to face, but 83% of couples are unhappy. They’re worn out, depressed, dis-empowered. They don’t know how to access their own power.

“When is comes to marriage, women are the catalyzing force for the nature of their relationship with their husbands.”

She puts pen to paper and then, together, they draw the dynamics of their relationship.

What this video is about:

In this video, you’ll discover how women unintentionally hurt their men and hurt themselves, and how we can change things so so relationships will thrive.

I have a treat for you too! This video has a special appearance from Rabbi Benzion Klatzko! Click here to watch and discover what you’re missing out on in your marriage!

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