This is a guest post by Tina O’Connor, BSc Psych. Exemplifying the traits of the mythical Chinese Dragon, Tina is a powerful, fiery mompreneur with a passion for business, a flair for Feng Shui and a soul that is firmly focused on family. By utilizing proven combinations of success laws in her own life, Tina has propelled herself into a lifestyle of freedom, happiness and wealth.

image courtesy of Katerina Brabcová

In order to answer that question honestly, you need to be able to define what you really want in your life.

When we are children, the world is our oyster and it is ours for the taking. As children, we were constantly dreaming of the all the wonderful things we would do in our lives, and there seemed to be no restrictions. We could be and do anything in our own minds.

As time passes and we grow older, experiences we have in our lives start to change our perceptions. We see others around us failing, we make mistakes ourselves and we learn that things are harder and take longer than we could ever have anticipated.

We learn that we need to be more logical about our dreams, and we start building up walls within ourselves that begin to restrict where our dreams can take us. We begin to tell ourselves that we are not capable of anything.

We stop dreaming big, and then we stop striving big! We begin to fear making changes in our lives and we choose the comfort of keeping things the way they are right now.

We may even attribute other people’s successes to luck, by saying things like “Oh, she is so lucky. She was just born into a family with money”, or “She is so lucky! She was born with that body!”

The truth is we all have full control over our lives, and almost nothing can be attributed to luck. I encourage you to knock down the walls that you have built and take back the power that you have always had!

What have you been telling yourself that you cannot do? Are there passions in your life that you are not chasing simply because you think you can’t?

In my debut book, Be That Girl. Simple Steps to Happiness, I have an exercise called Planet Do-it, which will help you figure out what you really want in your life, and create a plan to get it! (check out www.amazon.com/BeThatGirl to get your copy)

Now this is not about what your friends want, or what your spouse wants, or what is best for your kids, or your parents, or your boss. You need to get back to basics, dig deep, and let out all of those dreams and goals that you started tucking away so long ago.

On my website, www.bethatgirlnow.com, I also offer my “Planet Do-it” as a Video Workshop for FREE! It is a half an hour workshop, but at the end of it you will have a 5 year plan, and you will be excited about your life! It is so worth the time investment. Go do it now! It will change your life.

It’s time to get inspired, take control, take action, and get results! I cannot wait to hear what you will do. Namaste.

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This is a guest post by Steve Repak. Steve, CFP®, is an Army veteran, motivational speaker, consultant, and a principal at Repak Financial Services. He has helped countless ordinary people turn their finances around with his inspiring personal finance presentations and one-on-one financial counseling. You can visit his website and purchase his book.
In my book “Dollars & Uncommon Sense” I am often asked how I came up with the title of the book.

I have found that most people try to use common sense when they make decisions with their money and since most people are bad with money, you want to use Uncommon Sense so you won’t end up like most people.

For example, I tell people if they want to have more money, they need to give 10% of what they make before they do anything else. I have a lot of people who look at me crazy when I tell them that. See, it doesn’t make sense that if you are giving money away, that you can end up having more.

Now I do not have an agenda here so I am not telling you who to give your 10% to. If you are tithing, I think that is great, but if you want to give your money to a soup kitchen, the wounded warriors project, or the foundation for homeless ferret’s, it is not as important as to who you are giving the 10% to, but that you are doing it!

Of course when giving money don’t think about the money you’ll get in return, instead think about all the people you’re benefiting. A true giving comes from the heart and when it does it will return to you ten-fold.

Keep in mind, most people spend more than they make, they save what is left over and give to causes rarely. As a reminder, most people are bad with their money. Let me share with you why it works. First, I believe if you give, you’ll receive.

I can’t explain it but it just works. I also know that when people spend money it makes them feel good is the short term. The reason we like things is that we are inherently greedy. Don’t take it personal, it is just the truth.

When you start giving you have no choice but to learn how to live on less. Secondly, it feels good to give so when you give, you’ll fill that void that spending can never fill! Once you can learn that you can live on less, you’ll have more!

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This is a guest post by Elaine Hirsch. Elaine is kind of a jack-of-all-interests, from education and history to medicine and video games. This makes it difficult to choose just one life path, so she is currently working as a writer for various education-related sites and writing about all these things instead.

Seasonal affective disorder is a type of depression experienced seasonally, usually in the fall and winter.

According to PubMedHealth, it often comes in periods of less sunlight and is most common in areas where the winter nights are long.

Women experience it more often than men, usually starting in their teens or 20s. Many times, a person’s seasonal affective disorder can be affected by stress from work or midterms from attending an online school.

The American Psychiatric Association says seasonal affective disorder is a real condition caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain. It affects 10 to 20 percent of the population. There are several ways to cope with seasonal affective disorder:

1Know the symptoms. If you have seasonal affective disorder, you feel depressed, unhappy and irritable during the fall and winter and feel better in the summer. You may be hungrier, especially for carbohydrates, and gain weight. You are likely fatigued and don’t feel like carrying out your daily routine or interacting with others.

2Talk to your doctor. While you may be tempted to skip this step, especially if you feel that you have all the symptoms, it’s important to talk to a doctor. He will discuss your symptoms, give you a physical exam and review blood work to make sure you don’t have some other problem.

3Get treatment. Because seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression, your doctor might prescribe antidepressants or refer you to a therapist. This condition is unique among depressive disorders because light therapy can relieve symptoms. Ask your doctor or therapist how to use bright lamps to replace some of the sunlight you are missing in the winter.

4Get active. You may not feel like it, but push yourself to go out and exercise, mingle with others and continue your job or other routine activities. Studies show being active eases symptoms of seasonal affective disorder.

5Do not self-medicate. Avoid drinking too much alcohol or overdosing on prescriptions as a way to deal with feeling poorly. This will only mask your symptoms. Moreover, because alcohol is a depressant, it can eventually make your depression worse.

6Try supplements. The Mayo Clinic suggests: St. John’s wort, a herb; melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate mood; and Omega-3 fatty acid, a substance derived from fish and some nuts.

Seasonal affective disorder is affected by your circadian rhythm, or body’s internal clock. Because you are not exposed to as much sunlight in the fall and winter, your body loses some of the cues about when you should sleep and this can lead to depression.

Experts also say having less sun reduces levels of a brain chemical called serotonin, which can contribute to depressive feelings. Seasonal affective disorder is not simply a light case of winter blues. Psychiatrists recognize it as a true mental disorder, so you don’t need to simply suffer until spring. If you think you have this condition, consult with your doctor and motivate yourself to get help.

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Britta Aragon is a cancer survivor and the founder of Cinco Vidas, Inc. She wrote “When Cancer Hits: Your Complete Guide to Taking Care of YOU Through Treatment.”

Photo courtesy of johanlb

I was scheduled to go through radiation as well, but after five months of losing my hair and suffering extra dry skin

and fatigue, tests showed the chemotherapy had done its job, and I didn’t have to go through radiation.

It’s Over, Right?

I didn’t have to go to chemotherapy treatments anymore. My hair started growing back (though more slowly than I would have liked). My energy gradually returned. But I felt guilty, because for me, cancer was anything but over.

Everyone expected me to be my “old self” again, or maybe to be bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm. After all, I had gone through cancer, and I had beaten it. I was healthy. No more cancer. Yea, Britta! I was expected to smile and laugh throughout the day. But I just couldn’t do it.

Nothing was the same for me, or would ever be the same. How was I supposed to go back to school and think about volleyball games, Friday nights out, homework, and boys? Cancer had changed me.

I looked different. I felt different. Why had this happened to me, I wondered? And what was I supposed to do now? Everywhere I turned, people expected me to be “normal.” My parents even lost patience with my melancholy. “It’s over,” they said. “Time to move on.”

But how was I supposed to do that? I felt lost.

Post Traumatic Stress and Depression

Years later, I learned that what I was going through back then was completely normal, although I wish I had known that at the time. I thought something was wrong with me, and I’ve since talked to many other survivors who felt the same way.

Fortunately, modern medicine is starting to recognize what many doctors and therapists are now calling “post traumatic stress and depression.”

Similar to victims of a violent crime, cancer survivors go through a difficult period after the treatments are over. Many of us feel depressed, or out of sorts. We struggle to make sense of what happened to us.

While we’re fighting the battle, taking our medications, wearing our wigs and puking up our guts, we have little time to reflect. When it’s all over, however, we have to process the experience, and unfortunately, only few of us allow ourselves the time and space to do so.

Get All the Help You Can

Make no mistake, cancer changes us. It changes our entire world, and our sense of ourselves. We often feel out of control, and have no idea how to reestablish a sense of mastery over our days.

We have all these feelings: anger, resentment, confusion, fear, anxiety, sadness that we don’t know what to do with. Many of us find our bodies permanently changed, and we suffer grief over our losses. Meanwhile we don’t even know where to begin with our emotions.

I never attended a support group, linked up with other survivors, or talked to a therapist. Today, I encourage survivors to do all these things and more. If you don’t, you might end up finding unhealthy ways of coping. For me, it was food. I realized I could control what I ate, so I quickly fell into an eating disorder that took me another several years to conquer.

It’s much better to get the help you need as soon as you can. Following are several tips for how to cope with cancer once it’s over, for it’s not really over until you can process the experience, move through your feelings about it, and become the new person you’re meant to be.

• See a counselor or psychiatrist. Make sure the individual specializes in cancer survivors. Many medical centers and cancer centers offer survivor programs for free or at a reduced rate.
• Attend a survivors support group. Many cancer centers can give you access to area groups. Be willing to listen and share. People who’ve traveled the same road will be more likely to understand where you’re coming from.
• Consider an online support group. Though I believe that an in-person support group is paramount, an online support group can also offer assistance and a place to share feelings, particularly if you feel like ranting at 3:00 in the morning. Try Planet Cancer and Cancer Compass, among others.
• Get your feelings out. Many survivors journal or blog to make sense of their experience. You may want to try art or music therapy, long walks, talks with a good friend, or time away.
• Read the good books. Picking up the Pieces is a very helpful book for the new cancer survivor. I’ve also written a book that talks about all facets of the cancer experience, called When Cancer Hits.
• Realize it takes time. You’re not going to be able to process your experience in a week. Be patient with yourself. When the feelings come up, try to deal with them in a healthy way, and be proactive about your own self-care. Your family, friends, and colleagues might not understand, so take it upon yourself to get the help you need.

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