Spite, Malice and Cupcakes.

Alert! Alert!

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Mon, 03 Mar 2014 19:09:00 +0000

Just an FYI, as of March 4th I'll be operating under spitemaliceandcupcakes.blogspot.com so update your bookmarks (ha!) and RSS feeds. There's no point in me paying for a URL when I don't post enough to justify the 15 dollars a year for it.

To clarify: SM&C will still be up, just not on it's own domain name anymore. xoxox

Overheard: Conversations With My Five Year Old...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sat, 28 Sep 2013 16:44:00 +0000

My husband is working this weekend, and I've spent the last 2 days taking care of a sick little boy, who has a pretty hard core cold.

Jake: Hey mom, you know what's better than Lasagna?
Me: What darlin'?
Jake: Love.
Me: Love is indeed better than lasagna, my dear heart.

Less than 5 minutes later during a chat:

Jake: Hey Mom, when you die...
Me: ...Huh?
J: When you die, I will keep your heart in a jar. Shaped like a heart. On the mantle.
Me: (In my head) *What the actual fuck?* (out loud) Oh...

Ten minutes later:

Jake: (Showing me toys he's playing with) "This is the Daddy, and this is the son, but there is no mommy, because she's dead.
Me: Dude! What's up with the general theme of "dead mom" you have going on here? I am getting concerned...
J: Muah-ha-ha-ha!
Me: Very funny.

Worst Kinder Surprise Toy Ever...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 05:26:00 +0000

So, today My darling son decided against better notions swimming in his brain to stand on the arm of the leather chair we have in our living room. Despite being told multiple times that it is not acceptable behaviour, he aspired to climb Mount Crapchair.

His foot slipped and he did what can only be described as the most spectacular accidental ass over teakettle/cartwheel I have ever seen in my life, where all I saw was his round little legs sticking up (followed by his head popping up) and then that horrible "OH MY GAHHHHH I AM INJURED!" scream as he scraped his rib cage against the corner of the piano bench I use to store my embroidery stuff in, and also as a side table. At the time he was so mortified, being the sensitive cancer sign child he is, and in pain he refused to even let me look at it. (Definitely my child. This is classic "me" behaviour when I have hurt myself. Howling savage wolf mode.) I asked him several times if he was ok only to be replied to with "DON'T TALK TO ME, I AM EMBARRASSED!"

Well then... Fair enough, if he had the tenacity and awareness to vocalize his emotions, then really, he's probably ok.

Me: "baby, I will hug you later if you want."
J: "ok maybe later. I'm cool."

And really, he seemed fine. 10 minutes later he was running, jumping and rolling. I honestly forgot it happened. Until bath time. Hubby stripped the t shirt off and I all heard was a gasp and "Oh my god! Son! What did you do to yourself today?"
Me: "Oh yeah! It was crazy! I forgot to tell you!"
Hubby: *glares at me*
J: "Daddy I did a big bail off the chair. I wouldn't let mommy see."

He's now sporting the most massive hematoma bruise I have ever seen on his torso, compounded by the fact that he makes milk jealous with his skin tone, this looks doubly horrifying. I think the only thing that stopped him from popping a rib was the fact that he is... Ahem... Rather well padded... Ok, the kid is round.

My hubby who is certified St. John level 2 first aid, and I (merely a concerned mommy level first aid) did a listen of a multitude of deep, full breaths ("J, babe, you need to exhale too...") and poked and prodded around the bruise and he is fine. No screams, He has full range of movement and the only reason we knew he even had the bruise was because he was stripped down for his bath. Surprise!

Worst Kinder surprise toy ever.

So chalk up one for being fat. Or flexible. Or perhaps both. It saved us all a trip to emergency.

Of course it doesn't mean I haven't checked in on him four times so far since he's gone to bed. He may be one tough cookie but he's still my baby.

Fuck Cancer...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 04:44:00 +0000

Ok... Breathe... Annnnd, go!

So over the past couple of weeks I have been in and out of various medical facilities getting poked, prodded and pummelled by x-rays, ultrasounds, ct scans and the like.

On Friday, March 1st, I got my official results from my urologist and I have a very controllable form of renal cell carcinoma (aka. kidney cancer.) I have a 1.9 by 2.2 inch solid malignant tumor in my upper right kidney. I go in for a radical nephrectomy (full kidney removal) on April 2nd.

Fast. Track. Time. Bitches.

See the bow? Yeah, right there. That's roughly where my tumor is.
Also please note, image courtesy of (nsfw) thefagcasanova.wordpress.com

I post not for sympathy but explanation, if I seem loopy and or depressed I am very overwhelmed and frustrated at times. My surgeon told me "you have cancer, I'm going to get it out of you" and very little else... While he is a spectacular surgeon, I am the type of person that can handle and requires all I formation possible to know what's going down in kidney town. I found this website from the kidney cancer society.

I am having an open, partial to full nephrectomy depending on how large my tumor is, and if it has effected my adrenal gland. The website explains effectively and in a matter of fact manner what I should expect or hope for in my surgery. It is the best resource I have found.

I could potentially have to have a few ribs, surrounding adipose fat, kidney and adrenal gland removed (depending on metastasis) but my doctor estimates I am between stage 1 and possibly stage 2. I have approximately 25 days until I go under the knife.

Compounded with my normal anxiety problems hearing a doctor tell me "you have cancer" is hard. I'm taking Ativan in small doses during the day to manage my panic/anxiety and am usually able to wave off the "Holy fuck!!!" Factor pretty well but I falter sometimes. Over the last 2 weeks I have managed to deal with my panic and anxiety naturally for the most part.

Entertainingly enough, my inner freak out/panic voice sounds very much like the Chicken lady from Kids In The Hall skits. I do a minor amount of navel gazing which is permissible, no one is happy 100% of the time... But, I am doing my best.

I have moderate discomfort usually when trying to sleep, where my back aches and twinges on my right side below my shoulder blade, and my ribs ache, sometimes quite badly. It is getting steadily worse and definitely affecting my sleep patterns. Once I out I am OUT, but it takes several hours to get to that point.

90% of the time so far I have been OK., since I know I am one of the lucky few that has a fairly controllable and curable form of cancer; (barring metastasis) but it is still cancer, and I have never had major surgery in my lifetime.

I'm more nervous about the surgery than the cancer since I know it's not metastasised outside of my kidney. Life is going to be full of huge change in a relatively short period of time and I am flexible, but not quite that quickly, lol!

I am coming to terms with the fact that I more than likely will not be having another baby, which sent me into a sadness funk for a few days and I am still getting over that hump. I've been saving my sons baby clothes and crib, stroller, etc., anticipating having a sibling for him, but given my husbands age and how I recover from my surgery and potentially after treatment if required (chemotherapy, radiation therapy...) and the year it will take for my body to recuperate from major abdominal surgery... It doesn't look like baby #2 is going to happen. So now I have all this baby shit cluttering up my storage areas, and a sad spot in my soul knowing that my sweet young man will never be my wee baby again. Oh well. He is wonderful and at least I have him.

Anyway, that's the scoop, peeps. Pretty heavy, no?

Also it should be stated as loudly from the rooftops as possible, "Fuck you cancer, you won't get the best of me!"

2012 in review... dos sequel.

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:06:00 +0000

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I learned how to use a sewing machine properly, and actually cared about how to use it LOL! Grade eight home ec. didn't quite cut it for me. I made curtains, 3 quilts, hemmed a dozen pairs of pants, 2 halloween costumes (one for the boy, one for my cousin).

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
last year, I decided to not play the addictive yet inane "Farmville" I quit on New Years day, and stopped entirely. I tried to start it again just because I was bored one evening, but got so frustrated with the amount of "work" required to "grow" virtual plants I blocked it within an hour.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one this year, hopefully me in 2013. (No, I'm not pregnant yet but we're working on it!)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Husband's step-son passed away in a tragic accident while camping this Summer. It was very hard on him.

5. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Things will be changing quite a lot this year, as it's the first year my son goes to school in September.

6. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in Canada this year.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
No specific dates, per say... The adoption of our kitty, Sir George of Ginger, my son's 4th birthday, My cousin's luau themed birthday party at my house, the hubby's niece getting married, our annual camping trip with family friends, and our 2nd Wedding Anniversary date all were fun! This summer was busy and enjoyable!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I kicked 3 items off of my bucket list, and I'm working on my 4th.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I can't pinpoint any particular thing that screams overwhelming failure. A failed friendship with an old friend would be probably the biggest failure of 2012.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I fainted this summer and bonked my head on the patio from the pain of landing wrong on my foot and twisting my ankle. It was extremely surreal, I had visions when I fainted!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Ipad! I love it!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jake. the same as last year! He's gone from my argumentative three year old to an incessantly creative 4!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A friend, who unfortunately is no longer a friend.

14. Where did most of your money go?
household things.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Richmond Night Market with my cuz, which is a yearly ritual with us. Having a paycheque for the first time in years! I did babysitting over the summer and got to spend it on whatever I wanted.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Psy- Gangnam Style!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Much happier!

ii. thinner or fatter? probably fatter. possibly about the same. I don't own a scale in my house.
iii. richer or poorer? richer.

Okay, Meme, let me take a stab at that:

i) more or less like Justin Beaver - Uhh... I couldn't give two shiny shits and a brass knuckle.
ii) more or less likely to decide inanimate objects looked like boobs - Everyone loves tits.
iii) more or less likely to watch Glee – I'll watch this season, though it's pretty abysmal.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
More activities with Jake, we did skating lessons and this spring we will be doing swimming lessons.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sitting on my big fat ass, stuffing my gob. LOL!

20. How will you be spending/how did you spend Christmas?
At my home. With my cousins, parents and my guys.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I rekindled my romance with my husband. Things are better. Much better.

22. How many one-night stands?
What is sex? I forget.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I rewatched the entirety of Red Dwarf (bbc) on Netflix over the course of a month or so. 10 seasons! It was great.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

25. What was the best book you read?
Divergent and Insurgent by Veronica Roth, Graceling, Bitterblue and Fire by Kristen Cashore was excellent. 50 shades of Grey was ok, but nothing to reread. The Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson was fantaaaastic, The Hunger Games Trilogy was awesome, I also reread the Ender's game series Both the Speaker for the Dead spinoffs and the Ender's shadow spinoffs. My sister-in-law leant me The Host by Stephanie Meyer and that was enjoyable too. I read it in about two days. There was a lot of reading this year. I tried to get into the Nicholas Flamel Alchemyst series, but I just didn't dig it all that much. I got the first three books cheapie on Amazon.ca, and I think I got halfway through the second book before I decided it was dull. The Birthmarked trilogy by Caragh M. O'Brian was excellent as well. Most of them are Y/A novels, but still enjoyable to me. I don't like "heavy" books, these were reasonably well written and gave me some adventure to enjoy. I do dig dystopian society novels.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My favourite musician, Fiona Apple released a new album this year. I was in heaven.

27. What did you want and get?
My Ipad!

28. What was your favourite film of this year?
The Avengers, Madagascar 3, The Hobbit. Napoleon Dynamite is a recurring favourite. It might not be "new" but it's always enjoyed. Magic Mike was great eye candy but the movie -unfortunately- blows. Ah well, at least I got to see a nude, golden Joe Manganiello!

That sucked. I'm going to make up a new question:

a) Where are your pants?
on my fat, fat ass.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. I can't remember what I did for my actual birthday, but I know that two of my cousins and a good girlfriend took me out to one of those private Korean karaoke room rental places where we sang our little hearts out, and put the soft-core porn background on to throw each other off during songs. It was awesome. Especially during Disney princess songs.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More cowbell?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Leaps and bounds improved. comfortable and stylish. I feel new!

34. What kept you sane?
My friends. Sylvie and our late night jaunts to Walmart, or to go to the theatres, or just chatty visits after Jake was in bed.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mmmmm. Joe Manganiello! Delicious, beardy, muscly goodness.

Oh. My. God. (To my husband: I love you, honey.)

Joe Manganiello. Phwoar! The only Celebrity crush I've had since I was 13 and obsessed with Jonathan Brandis. (RIP, JB.)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
obviously the Obama/Romney Election. I was pretty vocal about the Enbridge Northern Gateway pipeline through northern British Columbia. Which, in my humble opinion, is a complete disaster waiting to happen.

37. Who did you miss?
Rebecca.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Ugh, the pressure! Everybody that wasn't douchey?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
Nothing happens unless you're proactive. You'll never know what you can do if you don't try.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Uh... No.

Overheard: Kitty Deluxe...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 07:39:00 +0000

Cat: Oh Hai! You wanted to sleep, so I knocked over something loud and suspicious sounding downstairs while you were drifting off, then meowed pitifully a few times so you thought it was squishing me - Even though I'm totally fine and just wanted you to get up and play, play, play! Also, I'm going to wind my body in figure eights around your ankles while you try to find out what mystery item I sent careening to the ground. Especially while your trying to walk down the stairs! (You'll never find out what it was though, its a MYSTERY SURPRISE!) I hope you don't mind! Me-wow! I'm your adorable Kitty! Hey can I have some food?

Me: *sigh* ...Cat.

What Does The Future Hold?

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 16:00:00 +0000

The end of June brought my son turning four into our lives. This year will be big changes for both of us, as I've been lucky enough to be a stay-at-home-Mom for the last four years.

I was hoping I'd be Mommy to two at this point but have told my hubby that if I'm not knocked up by 2013, I'm not having another baby. My son will be turning five and going into full-day kindergarten and I'll have the time to turn my attentions to myself again. At least while he is in school.

I'm honestly at a loss.

There are a few careers I've been looking into, but nothing that strikes me as fascinating other than becoming a certified GIA appraiser for jewellery and gemstones. The options to do that job are quite varied, from working in a jewellery store, doing private appraisals of jewellery and gemstones in private residences or via jewellery clinics, to examining gems either lab or naturally created in a private lab setting. (and after 10 years of working with customers prior to having Jake, I'm a bit burnt out of working with the general populace.)

What would you choose if faced with an option for a complete change of career? What's your dream job?

One Word At A Time...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 06:53:00 +0000

TYPE ONLY 1 WORD (with the exception of 34,35,37)... IT'S HARDER THAN YOU THINK!!!

1. Where is your cell phone? N/a.
02. Your significant other? Sleeping.
03. Your hair? Curly. (!?)
04. Your mother? Sweet.
05. Your father? Adorkable.
06. Your favorite thing? family.
07. Your dream last night? Bizarre.
08. Your favorite drink? Frapp
09. Your dream/goal? RICH!!!
10. The room you're in? Bedroom.
11. Your fear? Alone.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Rich!!
13. Where were you last night? home.
14. What you're not? perfect.
15. Muffins? Chippy!
16. One of your wish list items? Ipad2.
17. Where you grew up? BC
18. The last thing you did? Eyebrows.
19. What are you wearing? Jammies.
20. Your TV? off!
21. Your pet? Jake. LOL!
22. Your computer? Off.
23. Your life? Still.
24. Your mood? Sleepy.
25. Missing someone? Cliffy.
26. Your car/truck? Green.
27. Something you're not wearing? socks.
28. Favorite Store? Book
29. Summer? Sure!
30. Favorite color? Orange
31. When is the last time you laughed? Today.
32. Last time you cried? Today.
33. Who will re-post this? Dunno?
34. Four places I go over and over? Kitchen, sewing room, shower, living room.
35. Four people who e-mail me: who cares, I never check it.
36. Four Places I would rather be right now: Hawaii, Mexico, Victoria, Scotland.
37. Four people I think will respond: dunno!
38. Favorite Restaurant: Earls. (Yum.)
39. Favorite Word: Penitent. (weird huh?!)
40. Favorite Bar/Dance Club: n/a.

Too Sexy For This...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 09:31:00 +0000

J: Mommy I want hotgirl videos. (on my iPod)
Me: You want what?! You're THREE!
J: Hotgirl videos. (Obviously having troubles with his pronunciation.)
Me: Say it again. Slowly.
J: Hawk. Girl. Videos.
Me: Hawk girl?
J: YES!
Me: Thank God.

(A few minutes later...)

J: Daddy, Mommy found me hotgirl videos.
Cliff: That's my boy!
Me: Jeez, Cliff! He's 3! And it's HAWK GIRL, not "Hot Girl".
Cliff: Oh...That's nice, son.
Me: Nice...

Overheard: My Handy Helper...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 23:52:00 +0000

I give Jake a glass and two small bowls from snack time to take into the kitchen to put into the sink as we are finishing tidying up the living room. All the sudden I hear the garbage can lid opening.

Me: Jake! What are you doing?!

J: *pause* Um... Putting the cup in the garbage?

Me: WHY???

J: That's what you told me to do?

Me: No, I didn't. I said put them in the sink. Yikes! I just bought those glasses, dude.

J: Ooops!

I wonder how many cups/bowls/plates he's thrown into the garbage since he's started helping me clean the house?

Bored = Using My Scraps!

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 03:26:00 +0000

Waste not, want not?

I did up a bib for my friends Kristine and Chris's little girl, Lily-Anna, she's going to be teething really soon so you know the drool is going to start and not stop for a few months, and then after that it's solid foods. It's all quilting cottons and cotton batting, so it should absorb nicely, I did the closure with Velcro, and it seems to do the trick quite nicely. I actually used one of Jake's old bibs as a template, and it seemed to work just fine.

The front, the binding took longer than the cutting
and quilting itself. All those curves are a pain in the butt!

The back, note the little heart in the middle!

After that, I still had a lot of energy left, and wanted to try out applique for the first time, it's sloppy, and I don't have any waxed freezer paper to do nice sharp applique's but the sharp angles on the flowers make me happy to be honest. I liked the geometricity of it all. (If that's not a word, it is now!) I like the kitschy 70s colours, and really it was all an experiment, anyways. It's small, only approximately 10 inches high by 12 inches wide, and I could probably attach loops in the back to make it a tiny little wall hanging or something if I felt the desire to do so. I don't think my technique could stand up to much washing in the machine anyways.

I'll be picking up one of those teeny handheld irons and a roll of freezer paper to try out other techniques that I've seen online. I did a double trip around each piece with a blanket style stitch around the pieces, and I liked the definition that the stitching ended up doing.

applique, babay!

I hand quilted the outlines of the petals and outlined each flower, stalk and leaf, as well as did the corners of the binding where my machine decided that it was too hard to get through. I also broke my first machine needle, (almost on my left index fingertip, a close call!) after that I decided to hand sew the rest of the corners. To be honest, once I got into the rhythm of it, It was nice to sit in the quiet living room and just sew with the TV off after my son had gone to sleep and hubby was having a snuggle with him. I'd taken the liberty of escaping downstairs after dinner to ease the sewing craving. The rest was machine quilted with straight stitches and my favourite little bowtie stitch which is just adorable and I find an excuse to use it in everything if I can get away with it. It's on every single piece I've done so far since I got my new machine.

Making Something for Myself!

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 00:24:00 +0000

Though it definitely gets used by the rest of the household! Hah!

Upon some advice before I started to make a bunch of quilts as various presents to family and friends, it was suggested to me to do up a quilt of my own for myself (and of course a matching pillow slip for my snuggling needs! Off to fabricland I went with my most amazing cousin, and bought myself some 13 meters of fabric, a selection of five from the same family of prints, and then some batiks that will be used in another project of some sort, perhaps a lap blanket for my girlfriend or just put into my beginners fabric stash!

the back of the pillow, it is a slipcover,
binding exactly like the quilt.

front of the pillow, matching to some extent the
quilt. The squares are 4 inch.

top of the quilt - yellows are off it's more a creamy tone than bright yellow,
finished quilt size is approximately 65 by 80.

the back of the quilt, I had to find a creative way to back it.
I split the black lengthwise and then used the blocks and strips of the
same fabric colours that I used in the top panel.

Anyways, the "pattern" was very simple, just four block squares, alternating the floral pattern, I "stitched in the ditch" for the majority of the quilting as I'm quite the beginner, on my brand new Brother SQ9050 sewing machine that my hubby got me for Valentines day!

Why hello there, beautiful... Are you staying for a while?

yes I quilted the bejesus out of this test of batting
and previous fabric from Jake's quilt

In the end I'm glad I made something for myself first, before I tried to tackle a queen size bedspread, (a wedding present for my hubby's niece.) as I made quite a few mistakes (since fixed) I was apparently using the wrong foot, and when stitching up the back of the quilt there were quite a few sections where I had to go over the seams. Unfortunately this happened after I had basted and quilted the entire thing, so creativity was required in correcting the problem. I have yet to run it through the washing machine after I finished it, so hopefully it doesn't result in an explosion of batting in my washing machine. :s

Overheard: Stormy Weather...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 23:27:00 +0000

Jake: Mommy, can we go outside if we wear sweaters?

Me: No, not today buddy It's an inside day. it's stormy outside.

Jake: It's not stormy! I don't see any lightening, or hear thunder! (:O Cheeky bugger!)

Me: Nope, It's a wind storm. you'd blow away into the sky like a kite! Aaaaah! *pretends her hand is him flying into the sky.*

Jake: *looks at me for a minute, shocked. Then smiles and shakes his head.* No mommy, you're just joking me.

Me: A little bit, buddy. you could get knocked on your bum though.

Not Sexy and I Know It...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 04:31:00 +0000

LMFAO: Wiggle,wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Uh....

Me: Oh my GOD what did I do to myself!? My ass!!! Ow, Ow!

(Me dancing to Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO while cleaning my kitchen this morning...)

Goodnight, John Boy...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 07:54:00 +0000

I find it both slightly ridiculous and completely endearing that I have to wish goodnight to every single toy Jake chooses to sleep with.

Tedd E. Bear, Rainbow Dash from my little pony fame, (who Jake insists: despite my assurances that she is female; "No, Mommy, Rainbow Dash is a boy pony! He's BLUE and he can FLY!!!") Wolfy (pretty obvious what he is...) Buzz Lightyear, and occasionally, Optimus Prime... When they wish me a goodnight in various squeaky to growly voices. *sighs* What a production!

I've tried culling the herd, but god forbid he might end up missing one or two of his buddies at night. Silly kiddo.

Kicking my Bucket List...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 04:47:00 +0000

One item at a time. I decided to be less passive this year and more agressive at attaining my own goals. Afterall, if I won't chase my own dragon, than who will?

Item one on my "Bucket List" was completed last weekend, my auntie came over for the weekend and taught me how to sew a quilt. She helped me set up our spare room in our basement as a hobby/sewing room for me, she generously contributed the 5" squares for the topper and helped me pick out the other items I'd need, as well as setting me up with the basics for what I'd need to make more, which is definitely in the works, and sets me up nicely for number 2 on my list.

Action shot!

Do you think he likes it?

with it's matching pillow, in my sewing room.

Napping Daddy approved, though quite short for someone who is 6' 3"tall! LOL!

Item number 2 is to make more quilts if I was any good at making the first, (which I seemed to do tolerably well, it's a cute blanket!) and I decided to make a matching pillow for the original quilt, I had enough squares left over and enough backing and quilt batting to do more. So sew I shall!

Other items on my Bucket list are:

Going to Scotland for a few weeks (Hubby and I agreed this would be our 10 year anniversary present! He wants to fish the river Spey, I want to go wandering around in castles wearing cable knit sweaters!)
Getting a large piece tattoo done from mid thigh to the top of my foot (a peacock)
Getting my drivers license (32 this year and I still can't drive, what a joke!)
Getting my passport.
Going to Mexico.
Achieving and maintaining a healthy body weight.
Professionally publish some of my writing.
Creating something with pottery/clay, perhaps taking a class at a local college.

And many more items, but all of them achievable. Some are mundane, some are extraordinary and will require a lot of planning and forethought, but it's not the intensity and difficulty level of these things That is the point, it's the journey that is life from start to finish. I want to be able to be there on my death bed, whenever that is, and not have regrets that I didn't do the things I wanted to do in my life.

I'll probably write more posts about my bucket list items. What are some of your life goals?

Clever, Clever!

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:48:00 +0000

Me, While getting Jake a snack before bedtime: *singing* Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my Jakey-guy!!!

Jake: Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my mommy-woman!

Me: *Uncontrollable laughter, big smooch on his face* You clever boy!

Jake: Mommy, You're my best friend.

Me: You're my best friend too, Jakey.

Post-Ticklus...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:41:00 +0000

Jake, sitting awkwardly astraddle my legs, grabbing the pull strings on my hoodie and bouncing on me: "Giddy up, horsie!"

Me: "Nooooo. You've exhausted me. Mommy is tired."

Jake: "But, I am the cowboy. And you are the horsie.

*pause*

The ooooooold horsie."

Me: "You say the nicest things. That's a definite "No"."

Jake: "Aaaawwwwhh!"

"...And I Winned!"

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:49:00 +0000

Jake is playing on the leapster explorer handheld device that he got for Christmas. While playing a train game he just started a few minutes ago for the first time, he starts cheering:

"Yaaaaaaayyyy! Hey Mommy! See! I did this! I push this button here with the pen and it moves the tracks to the right. And the train can get through into a tunnel and then I winned! I'm a train master!"

Me: (thinking in my head) *Holy shit! he knows his lefts and rights, properly, and even I have trouble with them sometimes, I'm 31. He also just said an entire paragraph describing exactly how to play the game without me showing him anything, and he figured it out within 2 minutes. I HAVE A GENIUS CHILD!*

(out-loud) Excellent buddy, way to go!

2011 in review, a MEME from My Aunt Becky

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 02:58:00 +0000

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I registered a URL for a blog. This is the first time I've ever owned a website. Kinda neat, but sad that at the same time this is all I can think of for firsts. Maybe our first family photoshoot, or my first wedding anniversary.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
In the past 4 years I have flat out refused to do any sort of New Years Resolution, my NYR's are started before the 1st of January, (or at least planned out) or started sometime in March. This year is something different, and I quite honestly feel like I am wasting my borrowed time on this earth. I'm singularly unhealthy, both weight and physically, you can see it in my skin, in my bodyshape, and in the way I feel inside. It's crackdown time, but it's not necessarily a "New Years Resolution". It's a necessity resolution to myself so I don't fucking kill myself from my own stupidity. Also I'm hoping to lose 50lbs by August. We'll see. I just have to stick to it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep, my cousin's and his fiancee had a very handsome little lad, and my friends Kristine and Chris had a lovely little miss who I got to snuggle at less than a day old. Squee!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, not this year... At least I don't think so?

5. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Confidence in my body.

6. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in Canada this year.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
My first anniversary.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Nothing I can definitively answer this year. How depressing.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The lack of achievement in 2011. I was very "overwhelmed" and depressed all year long. Time to put on my big girl panties and deal! Also, I accidentally washed my kids' ipod touch in the washing machine. There was a lot of cursing happening in the laundry room while I scalded the shit out of my arms/hands searching frantically for it in the screaming hot water and sheets.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major. A couple of colds. I suppose crippling anxiety at parts in my year would classify as an illness.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My 4th gen, 64gb ipod touch. Technically my husband bought it for me, for Mother's day/birthday gift.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jake. The leaps and bounds he's made in development, both attitude wise and vocabulary and mental developmentally is amazing. He amazes me every day.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I don't have an income. Ask my husband.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Glee, which dammit, has been VERY disappointing both season 2 and the beginning of season 3.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Adele - One and Only.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder, however, more determined than ever to smarten this life of mine around.

ii. thinner or fatter? Ugh, Fatter, is my guess.
iii. richer or poorer? I'm not the moneybags.

Okay, Meme, let me take a stab at that:

i) more or less like Justin Beaver - Uhh... I couldn't give two shiny shits and a brass knuckle.
ii) more or less likely to decide inanimate objects looked like boobs - Everyone loves tits.
iii) more or less likely to watch Glee – About the same, but if it's true that C. Colfer and Lea Michelle are leaving after this season, it will def. be my last. This season is awful so far.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
More shit outside my house. Somewhere in the last couple of years I became reclusive to the point of ridiculous. This is completely out of character for me, and not a good example for my son.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sitting on my big fat ass, stuffing my gob. LOL!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home. With my cousins and my guys.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
No. I'm feeling particularly jaded.

22. How many one-night stands?
What is sex? I forget.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory, which was a marathon of all 5 seasons in a week, this summer it was True Blood on HBO. I don't really watch more than that. Glee... well... That's been covered already.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

25. What was the best book you read?
I enjoyed Jacqueline Carey's newest spinoff of the Kushiel's dart series (Nama'ah's kiss, curse etc...) and I just finished reading the four books Cliff got me for Christmas, (4 books in five days, Yeah it's sick...) by JR Ward, the Fallen angel series: Covet, Crave and Envy. They were enjoyable and a nice spinoff of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series that she writes.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Herp-a-derrrrppppp.... Uh... Probably Adele's 21, and Micheal Buble's Christmas album is awesome. It was on every day until Christmas in my house.

27. What did you want and get?
Mah iPod upgrade!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Thor was enjoyable. Napoleon Dynamite is a recurring favourite. It might not be "new" but it's always enjoyed.

That sucked. I’m going to make up a new question:

a) Where are your pants?
on my fat, fat ass.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31. I can't remember what I did for my birthday. I know it was a pretty good weekend, that's all I can vaguely recall.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More cowbell?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Fashion? Yoga pants and a few knit sweaters. Tank tops and shorts in the summer.

34. What kept you sane?
My friends. My trip out to Victoria this summer by myself, which was my first holiday sans family.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one.

edit: I totally freaking lied. Joe Manganiello. Phwoar! The only Celebrity crush I've had since I was 13 and obsessed with Jonathan Brandis. (RIP, JB.)

Oh. My. God. (To my husband: I love you, honey.)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Nothing, really. I voted this year.

37. Who did you miss?
Christmas was hard without my parents this year.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Ugh, the pressure! Everybody that wasn't douchey?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
Nothing happens unless you're proactive. You'll never know what you can do if you don't try.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Uh... No.

A Christmas Poem...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 23:39:00 +0000

T'was the day of Christmas and all through the house;

some hacking some snoring, except for the Haus(frau).

The living room a disaster with toys everywhere;
the dishwasher's going without going anywhere!

The turkey breast; stuffing, in the slow cooker cooking;
Mommy's wishing for booze, but not really looking.

The preschooler (not) napping; toy shark in his fist;

Mommy's heard him making noise, Oh gosh, now she's pissed!

(not really...)

A ham, turkey, chicken, some veggies and pie;

I'll be beat when I hit the hay ain't tellin' no lie!

Merry Christmas to all, It's been a long day;

I'm tired but I'm happy, can't wait til tonight!

*snoooorrrreeeeee!!*

It's a State of Being....

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 02:22:00 +0000

Jake: Mommy, can you tell me a story?

Me: Sure buddy.

Jake: About dinosaurs!

Me: Okay... Once upon a time, there was a dinosaur and his name waaaaaas?

Jake: T-Rex Buddy!

Me: Sure, T-Rex Buddy. And he had a friend named Jakeasaurus!

Jake: !!!!!! *wordless twirl of excitement on my bed!*

Me: And T-Rex Buddy and Jakeasaurus liked to eaaaaattt?

Jake: MEAT! AND BAD GUYS! CARRION! THEY ARE CARNIVORES!

Me: Yep, meat. Aaaaand they also liked to eat?

Jake: PIZZA!

Me: What colour was T Rex Buddy?

Jake: Black, with red, here, (indicates his sides) *Then he collapses bonelessly on my bed*

Me: And what colour was Jakeasaurus?

Jake: *tongue sticking out the side of his mouth* Dead!

Me: Dead is not a colour, honey. It's a state of being.

Jake: Oh. Okay.

How Time Flies!

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:41:00 +0000

1 year ago today I married the love of my life in our living room with close family and friends in attendance. Our JP was a really nice guy named Don that I picked on the BC Justice of the Peace website because I liked how awesome his smile was, when all the rest of them looked like they were sucking lemons in their pictures. (to be fair I'm sure they were perfectly fine, but I liked Don's smile.)

We had our "reception" at The White Spot restaurant in New Westminster, and everybody paid for themselves, in a casual, heartwarming grouping of all the people we loved best in the world that could make it on short notice (1 month from planning our wedding until the actual date...) It was intimate and wonderful and exhausting, and I sincerely hope I never forget a single thing about it.

My cousin Shannon paid for our flowers as a beautiful wedding present, my Auntie Peggy and Shannon combined culinary talents and made the most delectable french macarons (orange creme and vanilla creme sandwiched in between orange and vanilla flavoured delectable almond flour wafers, oh my god divine...) as our wedding favours, my best friend Heather was my matron of honour, and both Heather and my cousin Sylvie (who basically was my bridesmaid, if she were to have a title.) were infinitely helpful during the days before and the day of (and the days after, ha!) our wedding. We spent hours doing a bunch of different things the day before the actual ceremony, and Heather saved me hundreds of dollars by making boutonnieres and pin-on corsages for our wedding guests at the house. I feel like I'm leaving out thanks to people a year down the road, but suffice to say that whoever helped us do anything, the gratitude is there. Our little wedding wouldn't have gone nearly as smoothly without your help.

I have so many memories of that day, like my then two year old niece telling me that I looked like a beautiful princess, and then tooting in my hand! Hee! But the thing that stands out the most for me is the enormous smile on my Cliffy's face, when we finished saying our vows, that memory still makes me grin, and still brings tears to my eyes. I love you, my sweet, frustrating, stubborn, handsome, smart, artistic, talented husband. You gave me our son, you gave me your heart.

I love you so much. Happy first wedding anniversary, honey.

Loooooooveeeerrrssss.... In a not so dangerous time...

Mischief?

Uh, Yeah... I'd say mischief. *sighs*

All photographs taken by Heather Anderson-Clelland of hphotography.ca

Overheard: On Anniversary presents...

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:15:00 +0000

My first wedding anniversary with the Hubby is today, and I was having a late night conversation with one of my lovely cupcakes, Ms. Alli via chat.

Me: So, I either get diamonds or a teapot for my anniversary present... What do you think I'll get?

Alli: Oh oh! I hope it's a diamond-encrusted teapot!

Me: Ha! ...Completely impractical on a necklace.

Alli: Bahahahahhaha! You could be the Martha Stewart version of Flava Flav!

All Hallow's Eve... (Photos)

noreply@blogger.com (Lindsey Carstens) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:35:00 +0000

With a touch of the Day of the Dead. My Halloween Costume!
All the colours are old eyeshadows I haven't used in years,
mixed with a moisturizer. SMART.

Action shot.

LumberJake. He didn't want a moustache. Dangit!

LumberJake turned Axe Murderer action shot.

I have no idea why he's holding up 4 fingers.

More hot live jack-o-lantern action. People loved the MJ!

Sitting outside supplying trick-or-treaters with tootsie rolls.
I stayed outside until my nose ran.