Spits and Giggles

Oops

Kalyn — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 11:15:51 +0000

You might be wondering where I’ve been. I realize my absence was a little sudden, a little extreme, but I promise it was for good reasons. I’ve been working on my business!

I’m opening an Etsy shop — http://thebabygiraffe.etsy.com, where I will be selling natural bath and personal care products. I decided to start this business because I found the market for these products (geared towards mamas and their babies) to be a little underwhelming. So, I’m fixing that, at least in my eyes.
The official launch is scheduled for September 1st, but I have a lot of work to do! I have to finalize the product, and continue learning about marketing and promotions. My material has been 90% ordered, just have to work on shipping details, and then we’re good to go! I’m really very excited about the products because they’re great quality and unique.
In the meantime, I’ve also created a twitter account for the Baby Giraffe (@thebabygiraffe), and a blog that you can check out over at http://thebabygiraffeblog.blogspot.com. I’m on Facebook, too, but it’s been a LOOOOONG time since I’ve used that, so the learning curve is a tad steep.
I promise I haven’t disappeared completely, but if you’re looking for me and I’m not around here…I’m probably at one of those places — or locked away in my workshop.

Next Time

Kalyn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:46:11 +0000

Some people called me loopy when I thought, seriously, that I couldn’t wait for the next baby as I walked through the baby aisle at a local superstore only 5 days postpartum. Did I actually forget the annoyances of pregnancy, the difficulty of my labour? No, I didn’t forget. Yes, things dulled as they naturally do, but everything was still vivid. It had nothing to do with discomfort or pain…the payoff was worth it. And, so, my mind turned to “the next time”.

If we had no financial restrictions, Chris and I couldeasily say the next child would be coming sooner than later (as in a 18-24 months apart). However, we have the annoying truth of fiscal responsibility to deal with, and as such, we are “taking things as they come”. I realize that an extra child doesn’t pose much financial strain at a young age, but keeping me out of the workforce for that much longer does.

Now, if Chris finds himself in a work situation that garners a little more moolah, and/or we receive any financial windfall from my impending litigation re: job loss, and/or my ideas for additional home income pan out, we may be singing a different tune. Being a realistic and cautious person, however, I am not counting on these points. In a “real case scenario”, I am going to need to look for at least 2 days, likely 3 days work at my previous pay rate in order to match the loss of income from my maternity leave.

Ideally, I would like Ophelia’s new sibling to arrive no later than 3 years after her birth. That would put us at ‘intentionally attempting’ sex from about 21 months or so, to give us a 6 month window. I’m not sure if things will be as easy-peasy the second time around as I became pregnant on the first “try” with Ophelia.

When I am pregnant again, I really want to try and get in with the midwives again. I need to be able to move around during labour and being continually monitored sucked the big one. During my pregnancy, I am also going to be more active and try to avoid eating as much fruit as I did with Ophelia (granted, no effect on my blood sugar, but the weight gain was unbearable…even if it WAS just because of all of that fruit, after all). As for the birth experience, I can only hope that with a midwifery team and the opportunity for a home birth, things would run a lot smoother…otherwise, I need to have a frank discussion with Dr. S. about helping me keep moving in the hospital.

On the plus side, we have a tonne of stuff for a new baby. We have a good stash of cloth diapers and inserts started (and I am sure it will only grow!), both sized and one-size…I’d only need to throw in some newborn sized diapers to make the collection complete. We also have a good assortment of clothing, and I am working on increasing the “gender neutral” items. We have a tonne of blankets, a crib and bassinet that go unused, and so on…

I personally take it as a good sign that despite the crappier days, I still like my kid enough to want another one…;) and we’re still in diapers, at that. Maybe I am suffering from some sort of postpartum psychosis.

Expectations vs. Reality

Kalyn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:39:06 +0000

Just over 9 weeks into this whole parenting thing, I’ve found that a lot of my reality doesn’t jive with what I had originally expected for the previous 41 weeks (and three days…).

I expected a crying baby. Instead, I have a baby that actually yells at me. She very, very rarely cries — I can count the number of times on my hands and some of them are really random shrieks that start and stop with absolutely no warning or apparent meaning. Ophelia doesn’t cry when she’s hungry or tired or…well…anything. She furrows her brow and squawks at me repeatedly, flailing her arms and legs, until I get her what she wants. Which leads me to number two.

I expected easy feedings. Instead I have a grazer, a baby who can take ages to eat, a baby who can (and will) spend hours on the boob. I hear this is normal. That doesn’t make it any less tiresome. As much as I am a full-blown advocate of breastfeeding, and as hard as I have worked to make it happen, exclusively, and as long as I am willing to wait for her to wean herself, I cannot wait to introduce solids, then to have something else as her primary source of nutrition, and finally, I can’t wait for her to wean herself. I don’t particularly enjoy the act of breastfeeding, unlike other lucky mamas. Maybe this will change when Ophelia starts interacting with me a bit more, I dunno…

I expected a fat baby. I knew we’d have a long baby, but I must have been brainwashed by formula-fed baby ads or something, because I honestly expected a tonne of chub (I do know there are chubby breastfed babies, too, though). Instead, Ophelia is long and lean and it has given me a complex, when you add in the trouble we had with breastfeeding at the beginning. It’s hard for me to see her growing and gaining weight because she just doesn’t have those cankles that I think she should.

I expected to lose weight consistently. I lost a whopping 40lbs in the first 5 weeks post-partum (I gained a tonne in pregnancy, remember) but have virtually plateaued ever since. I think that’s nature’s way of telling me to start being more active and eating better, because breastfeeding can only take you so far (and, besides, the jury is still out on whether or not it actually helps to lose weight).

A lot of things are exactly as expected, or have exceeded expectations, but parenthood has only further cemented a truth that I am only beginning to learn in my young adulthood; I actually, truly, and completely know nothing about life. I have a lot to learn and a long way to go before I can truly say that I am knowledgeable, and knowing this helps me to deal with the disconnect between my expectations and my reality.

Weekly Contests

Kalyn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 01:09:05 +0000

The Lazy Green Mama – none this week!
Survey Junkie Gift Guide -none this week!
everything mom and baby – none this week!
My New Life As…MOM! – Baby Bond Revew & Giveaway
My New Life As…MOM! – The Diaper Sprayer Review & Giveaway
My New Life As…MOM! – Ergo Baby Carrier Review & Giveaway
Loving My Life Reviews - Tiny Tush Trim Hemp Review & Giveaway
Loving My Life Reviews - Chiquita Baby- Review & Giveaway
Biehl Adventures - Tree Huggin’ Designs Cloth Wipes Giveaway
Exploits of a Military Mama – Softbums Echo Slide²Size Review and Giveaway!
Exploits of a Military Mama – Chunky Monkey Pocket Diaper Review and Giveaway!
Little BGCG and his Mama Review It – none this week!
The Tree Huggin’ Momma – none this week!
Katie Talks About - none this week!
The Budget Mommy – none this week!
wishing penny - Happy Heiny’s ~ Cloth Diaper ~ Winner’s Choice ~ GIVEAWAY!!! ~ 8/10
Dirty Diaper Laundry – none this week!
Mommy Kat and Kids – none this week!
Thanks, Mail Carrier – none this week!
Cuddles and Camo - TK Cuddlers Giveaway
Mom vs. The Boys – none this week!
Go Green Street – none this week!
The Crafty Nest – none this week!
Mommy of 1 and Counting – Katydid Review & Giveaway
Sharni’s Blog - none this week!
bassgiraffe’s Thoughts – none this week!
The Eco-Cheap Mom – none this week!
Mom to Bed By 8 – none this week!
mama b – none this week!
And Then There Were 4… – none this week!
My Life As A Married Girl (And Mommy) – none this week!
Serendipity Mommy - none this week!
The Cheap and Choosy - Bummas Cloth Wipes-Review and GIVEAWAY!
A Jaded Mama – Maxwell Designs and AppleCheeks™ Giveaway II
Maxwell Designs – Maxwell Designs & AppleCheeks Giveaway II
The Mommy Times – AMP OS Duo Pocket Diaper Review and Giveaway
It’s Me Melbie – Thirsties Cloth Diaper Review & Giveaway – Ends 7/28
It’s Me Melbie – Mother-ease Cloth Diaper Review & Giveaway – Ends 8/18

If you currently have a contest running that is not listed in this or another week’s post, and your giveaway is open to Canadian residents (we’re not that hard to include, I promise!), please let me know and I’ll be happy to add your contest to the list!

Radio Silence

Kalyn — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:13:36 +0000

Howdy folks! Sorry for the total lack of online presence over the last few days…my internet went down and I’ve been fighting with my ISP since Saturday.

Things seem to be back to normal, minus the 2 month old baby who refuses to sleep and is intent on kicking and punching me 24/7…I’ll be back to posting ASAP!

Today’s Hot Topic – Circumcision.

Kalyn — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 16:46:21 +0000

I just wanted to share the gross, beautiful reality of my leaking breasts, postpartum belly (uh, and some of that is my slumped position, my belly isn’t actually as sticky-outy as my breasts at this point) and incredibly aggressive looking child who is rooting for a boob. This is my life right now.

Today’s hot topic is circumcision. Everyone is writing about it, and I, for one, am jumping on that bandwagon in hopes of, well…getting cooler and avoiding thinking of another topic for the day. The only problem is, you see, I have a daughter and female genital mutilation/female circumcision just isn’t really de rigueur ’round these parts.

However, before we learned that our daughter was, well, our daughter, Chris and I had the ever-popular discussion about little penises.
Allow me to digress for a moment and say that originally, I really wanted to have a boy. A lot of people have a hard time finding little boy clothes, but I love little boy clothes — especially little boy clothes that look like little man clothes, and that was my primary reason for wanting to have a boy. However, in retrospect, I am fucking GRATEFUL we had a girl first. Why, you ask?

No crazy water fountain penises to contend with. That is ADVANCED diapering, folks.
As someone who has clearly taken the lead on the parenting thing, I have NO IDEA how to teach a little boy how to use the toilet when the time comes. I realize that I’d learn and/or Chris would help out, but still. Let’s be realistic here.
Gender issues are much easier for girls than boys…a little girl can be a tomboy but people freak out at little boys in tutus and tiaras. I want to get ahead of the curve on this one and get a nice stash of tiaras before having a boy.
The whole circumcision thing

(Did you like how I brought that around to the topic at hand? I am so incredibly pro, I know). When it came to possibly having a boy, I decided to let Chris have full say in the topic of circumcision. I knew he wouldn’t take it lightly, but I didn’t expect it would spawn a two week polling of friends and family members for their opinions.

Incidentally, Chris’ mom and sister were very pro-circumcision. My mom, as always, waved her vote but said my dad would be pleased to hear if he didn’t circumcise. Friends were split about 50/50 (and a lot of them raising eyebrows as to why they were even being asked). In the end, Chris decided that he would not circumcise our little boy, should that be what he is.

Although this might be a rarity, Chris was actually very upset when he found out he was circumcised and that there was something removed from his penis as a child. I guess he even confronted his parents to be like, “WTF?!” about it. He isn’t the only person I’ve heard of having this reaction, and I think that played a role in his decision. He wanted our child to choose for himself, and better to leave well enough alone until then. It’s the same reason why we are not piercing our daughter’s ears, giving her the HPV vaccine, etc.
There are a tonne of medical, ethical, emotional reasons for not circumcising and other bloggers have got that covered. For us, it came down to respecting the humanity of our children, their right to choice and our responsibility to protect that right. I respect my child’s rights as a parent, even at this young age.

I respect her right to personal space, should she so choose it and can communicate it to me (by body language only at this point). If she wants to be left alone or not engaged, I give her her quiet time.

I respect her right to personal space with strangers. I do not allow strangers to come up and kiss her, touch her unnecessarily. Until she can invite a hug or kiss, she will not have them forced upon her by people she does not know intimately.

I respect her right to eat when she is hungry and be clean when she is soiled. I feed her on cue, at any time, and I change her when I know she has dirtied her diaper, or I check every hour otherwise.

When she is older, I will respect her need for space, independence, expression and so on. Tattoos, piercings, weird hair colours, teenage sex and drinking…these are all things I did, and I survived. I chalk that up, in part, to good parenting that allowed me to set my own boundaries under the guidance and love of parents who were genuinely interested in me and showed me respect. There were rules, but there was an appropriate amount of flexibility to allow me to make my own mistakes and my own choices within reason. Obviously, if I was doing something truly harmful or if I abused my freedom, this would be sung to a different tune, but there was not only respect from my parents, there was respect for them, and it worked.

To me, circumcision comes down to the same things, especially as it involves a body part that you can’t get back once it’s gone. It’s not my body, it’s not my decision to make.

First Bumbo Sit

Kalyn — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:33:21 +0000

Ophelia honoured her very first sit in her Bumbo chair by striking a classic pose:

Okay, so maybe not a spitting image, but I thought it was funny. This, her newfound appreciation for sticking her hand in her mouth, and her ability to sit still, quietly, unassisted (in her vibrating chair) have made this week very exciting. I made cupcakes and burned my finger, natch.

I’d post a recipe but when I “make” something cake-like, it’s usually a rainbow sprinkle box of Betty Crocker. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Resources For a GERD Baby

Kalyn — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:51:39 +0000

GERD – Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease – is different from normal “spitting up”. It manifests itself in a number of ways, depending on the child, and it’s treatment is as varied as it’s symptoms. GERD is differentiated from normal “spitting up”, or uncomplicated reflux, by the level of discomfort displayed by the child. There are a number of possible causes of reflux, best listed at InfantReflux.org, which cites several reasons why a child might develop GERD – prenatal, general and anatomical.

According to Kellymom.com, a popular resource for breastfeeding parents, the “(f)ollowing are symptoms of GERD — there are varying degrees and need your doctor’s involvement to diagnose:

Frequent spitting up or vomiting; discomfort when spitting up. Some babies with GERD do not spit up – silent reflux occurs when the stomach contents only go as far as the esophagus and are then re-swallowed, causing pain but no spitting up.
Gagging, choking, frequent burping or hiccoughing, bad breath.
Baby may be fussy and sleep less due to discomfort.

Warning signs of severe reflux:

Inconsolable or severe fussiness or crying associated with feedings.
Poor weight gain, weight loss, or failure to thrive. Difficulty eating. Breast/food refusal.
Difficulty swallowing, sore throat, hoarseness, chronic nasal/sinus congestion, chronic sinus/ear infections.
Spitting up blood or green/yellow fluid.
Sandifer’s syndrome: Baby may ‘posture’ and arch the neck & back to relieve reflux pain–this lengthens the esophagus and reduces discomfort.
Breathing problems: bronchitis, wheezing, chronic cough, pneumonia, asthma, aspiration, apnea, cyanosis.

GERD may cause babies to either undereat (if they associate feeding with the after-feeding pain, or if it hurts to swallow) or overeat (because sucking keeps the stomach contents down in the stomach and because mother’s milk is a natural antacid).”

Parents of GERD babies have the stress of a child in pain to add to the normal difficulties of early parenting. GERD is not colic; colic is a period of inconsolable crying without any apparent cause. GERD is pain with a cause, and often, it is very difficult to diagnose and treat. It is very important to involve medical professionals who can help diagnose and treat a child’s GERD. Often, a health care practitioner will focus on minimizing the symptoms of GERD with the hopes that the child will “walk away” from the disease once their digestive system matures and they are able to keep the contents of their stomach down with the help of gravity once they are old enough to sit up and/or walk (Dr. Sears, GER: WHAT IT IS; WHAT TO DO; FAQ’s).

In addition to traditional or alternative medical intervention to minimize the severity of a child’s GERD, there are plenty of at-home things that can be done to try and make the child more comfortable. In some situations, these measures can alleviate the pain of GERD enough that prescription medication is not needed.

MyRefluxBaby.com recommends a very simple, streamlined approach to treatment, citing positioning as the main area on which to focus to improve your child’s GERD. In terms of positioning, the more upright the child, the better; this natural position allows the child’s stomach contents to remain as settled as possible. Ideally, the child will be placed in a comfortable, upright position without any “slump” in the midsection — this is best achieved with an incline wedge/elevated sleep surface for sleep, special nursing pillow/elevated nursing positions for feeding, and upright baby-wearing practices for going out-and-about.

Additional suggestions include limiting restrictive clothing around the abdomen (tight pants or diaper waistbands), frequent burping, and infant massage to encourage relaxation (14 Steps For Reducing Your Child’s Infant Reflux Symptoms)

In terms of feeding a baby with GERD, breastfeeding is best according to infantrefluxdisease.com; breastmilk is easily digested (twice as fast as formula) and the natural wash of calming hormones released by the act of nursing is beneficial to both mother and baby. It is often thought that adding a “thickener” to the feed (expressed milk or formula) will help keep the contents of the baby’s stomach settled, but there is no current research to support this (Feed thickener for newborn infants with gastro-oesophageal reflux). It is often best to focus on positioning the baby while he or she eats, and for a period of time afterwards, in an attempt to minimize the symptoms of GERD. Kellymom.com, once again, has some great tips for upright nursing positions, as does Pollywog Baby, but try different positions to see what works for you!

Having a baby with GERD can be stressful, difficult and downright painful at times, but there is plenty of support out there, as well as relief in the knowledge that most children eventually outgrow or are able to self-manage their reflux with age. A few small, and hopefully temporary, lifestyle changes can make all the difference in your child’s — and your — quality of life.

The In-Between

Kalyn — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:58:16 +0000

Lately the clothes I have been putting on Ophelia have seemed…off. As in, falling off. Sleeves too long by juuuuust a bit, too much give in the waist. I had a serious panic moment in which she was not only not gaining weight but must have been losing weight and wasting away to nothing.

Turns out I mixed up some 3-6 month onesies in the pile.

It appears we are now entering our first clothing grey area at 2 months. Some 0-3 month outfits are being stretched and some 3-6 month outfits are starting to fit…which means a double wardrobe for a while. I am putting out clothes from 0-6 month in size for us to slowly work through, weeding out pieces as she grows.

Diapers are another thing. Before Ophelia was born, I bought two cases of biodegradable, compostable diapers — one newborn and one infant. I always wondered why the newborn diapers were so darn huge when I realized (half-way through the case) that I grabbed the wrong box and had been using diapers that were, in fact, huge. Now I have a case of newborns to go through, or donate otherwise.

Plus, I have some small sized cloth diapers with which to contend…4 fitteds and 6 pockets, in addition to my one-size diapers. I’ll likely get a few months out of the sized ones, but still…I can’t believe we’re at the “outgrowing” stage for some things already! On the plus side, some growth might render the 6 o/s pockets I bought useful (they leak at the leg and I wonder if it is because of Ophelia’s long, lean little frame).

And, another plus…twice the cute baby clothes for a while!

Spoiled

Kalyn — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:39:21 +0000

Earlier today, my father stopped by for a visit. Ophelia had a really great sleep but I could tell once we were “up” that she was still tired. Chris had her in a seat, playing with some toys, just before my dad came over, at which point I took her and held her while we had a chat.

She was being particularly clingy, but I gave her to my dad to hold. For the second visit in a row, she started wailing and screaming. When she came back to me, she settled in but was still visibly grumpy.

According to my father, my 8-week old baby is “spoiled”. He then proceeded to tell me the following things, which should get me at least something in the “attachment parenting bingo” game:

I should give her a pacifier with honey or something on it to calm her down
Babies need to cry, it’s good for their lungs
Crying never hurt a baby
She’s been “spoiled” by me already

Now, one thing he did say, I will agree with — he checked her and said, “she’s clean and not hungry, so it can’t be that”. He was also holding her in several positions (last time he even walked around with her), so I can’t complain that she was being ignored. She simply wanted comfort, which was me and, eventually, my breast. It’s all she knows for comfort, so why would she be OK with something else?

I am 100% against “crying-it-out” but, to be fair, Ophelia was being held and attempts were being made to comfort her. Just because I know the very best way to comfort her immediately doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explore other ways or try and develop new comfort measures. As much as it pains me to hear her cry (physically — my breasts hurt and my jaw clenches), I am willing to let people try for a limited time to calm her on their own before returning her to me.

But if she starts crying to the point of coughing, or screaming and going red-faced, then you better believe that she is coming back to me. We can have a comfort lesson another time.

Do I think my baby is spoiled? Not at all. I think her needs are met efficiently and she gets very frustrated when they aren’t because she is accustomed to not crying and not asking. Do I think I need to give her more opportunities to be comforted by others? Absolutely. I can’t keep this level of attachment up alone.

Lately, I’ve been working on putting her to sleep in different ways to help me get a little bit of “me time” for those frivolous things like peeing and eating food that isn’t from a bag next to my bed. Sometimes I nurse her down and she sleeps on the bed “alone” (A.K.A. not on me) — even if it’s only for 10 minutes (which it often is). Sometimes she goes into her swing while I’m cleaning the living room and eventually, after a good long rocking, she dozes off for a few. Sometimes she is nursed down and put in the swing. One time, Chris got her to sleep (AMAZING) and she was sleeping on him and in the bouncy chair when we had dinner.

She isn’t a “crier” so it’s hard to comfort her with others…when she fusses, we know why, so we meet those needs (mainly food and sleep) ASAP. Once she is older and more mobile/active, I’m sure we’ll have the opportunity for comfort.

One thing, though, that I find interesting is that Ophelia really likes my mother to rock her and hold her on her shoulder (which I can’t do without her rooting or trying to lift off of me). I suspect it is because my mother was there at her birth and she held Ophelia for a pretty long time while I was getting my tonsils removed through my uterus post-partum hemorrhage sorted out and within the first few nights. She has no other reason to be comforted by my mother’s presence; we don’t spend a lot of time with her (she’s been here once and we’ve been there once since Ophelia’s birth), so I do think it has something to do with early exposure. Why Ophelia isn’t like that with Chris’ mom (saw her the next day) or my dad (same) is more of a mystery.