Spitting Off the Balcony

I need sleep

2011-08-10T09:29:00.001-04:00

I've been up for almost 24 hours so I should go to bed but no. So I drew you a picture. I never ever want to look up from the front desk and see this.

By the way that's a man in only underwear and surgical gloves.

Its always comforting to get a call to shut and lock the doors because something like this was let loose into society.

Life After College

2011-07-26T00:08:00.001-04:00

Well let's see, I haven't been on my blog for a long time. So I decided it was about time to start posting again. This is what has happened in my life since I left you.

I did in fact graduate. I should have gotten a special medal for completing my education in 4 years. It doesn't seem like the common thing to do these days.

Then two weeks later my diploma was sent to my parents. Below is my rendition of what it might look like. I don't know....I've never seen it. Although it's only fitting that it goes to my parents since they paid for the piece of paper.

Then I worked for 4 days at Harding Grounds Crew pulling weeds.

Some interesting things happened there. Like finding poppy. Then I got offered a job as a Night Auditor at a hotel in the air conditioning. Yes. Please. Especially with this July heat. So I work 11pm to 7am. Interesting shift. People say "you should blog about it." I say "I'm pretty sure that's how you lose your job. People do in fact know how to use computers to find out what you're saying." But I love my job there. Good people, fun times.

Look! Me smiling at the front desk.

Well I've had some crazy road trips and good stories this summer so those will be written about in the near present future.

So what's life like after college?

Well I'm just as confused. I now attempt to only do one adult thing a day. Today I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. Tomorrow I will do laundry and if Im super motivated I might even clean the fish bowl!!! But probably not, because that would be two things and so I will probably clean the fish bowl on Wednesday. And that is what my life is like :)

Picture of the Day: Teeny little BAT!

2011-05-06T16:06:00.001-04:00

He's just hangin' out in the hallway outside my room.

I looked it up and I think it's an Indiana bat. And it's probably male because the females migrate north during the summer months.

And it makes sense that he's a male because he's in the prime location to be lazy and still get to eat a ton. He's hanging off the light in the hallway so during the day he stays cool and at night the light comes on and all the bugs fly to him. He doesn't have to do any work for his food.

I called the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission because he's endangered and in the dorm, but they said that they only come get them if they are injured. I'm sure he will enjoy his life in the girl's dormitory.

Two Weeks

2011-04-30T12:59:00.002-04:00

This will be me in two weeks. Happiness.

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T01:30:00.002-04:00

In less than five hours I plan on watching the Royal Wedding with a group of people who find joy in such things. While many people are annoyed because of the vast amount of news coverage over the past month or so, I am not. This is simply because I don't ever watch the news when I'm at school.

Today was the one of the first times I encountered something about the wedding out in public. I found these at Bath and Body Works today. They were 50% off, because the wedding is tomorrow. It cracked me up that Bath and Body Works was attempting to capitalize off the wedding.

Kissed by a Prince and Royal Pucker

Dumbledore's Army

2011-04-26T17:20:00.000-04:00

1. I love that this is happening.
2. This is legitimate and sign-ups are in the Ganus Building (by the Admin.)

Tornado!

2011-04-26T11:19:00.003-04:00

Last night some pretty bad storms went through Arkansas. Most people took safety precautions, however my friends are adrenaline junkies. I was going out to my JEEP to see if my phone was there when the RAs ran up the stairs and started telling everyone to get on the first floor.

I logically ran down the stairs and out the building because I was not about to be shoved in a small bathroom with a leaky toilet with too many people like last year. Yeah we had a fun dance party for about ten minutes but then it really wasn't that fun being hot and cramped and having to stand.

Then I made an even smarter decision and left with three friends to drive into the eye of the storm, which we were tracking on an iPhone. Let's just say the night was epic. And I might have hidden my face at some points. My favorite moment however was driving through Beebe when the electricity went out. It looked so weird. The lights flickered and then everything went dark and there was a huge flash of lightning that lit up the murky green sky. One of the guys family lives in Beebe so we stopped in there and I ended up with a bunch of books for my ever growing collection.

We ended up not seeing a tornado but we did see some pretty awesome lightening and it was one of my favorite nights of my college career.

Look I drew a really bad tornado!

Paper Outline

2011-04-21T00:38:00.000-04:00

I am currently working on a paper for my History of England class. It is over Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Gray and its place and influence in history.

It's good that we never had to turn in an outline, because while a typical outline looks like this:

My brain produced something that looks more like this. I hope it works.

Camping Trip 2008

2011-04-20T02:54:00.000-04:00

I found this in my journal and it made me laugh...for some reason I have a tendency to write in play form.

Brother: We are in Indiana's lungs.
Me: What?
Brother: You know, like the rainforest is the earth's lungs.
Me: You sound like an environmentalist.
Brother: I am NOT an environmentalist!

Brother: Has America even claimed this land yet?

*Passing by a run down cement building*
Me: That's where we are staying.
Brother: Don't kid about these things.

*Approaching large lodge complete with an aquatics center including a water slide and lazy river*
Me: Yep our family knows how to camp.

Brother: Dad, when you came here as a kid were you in a horse-drawn buggy?

Graduation

2011-04-19T12:05:00.003-04:00

This is how I feel about the end of the semester that is looming over me.

Pictures of the Day: Tornado or Rather Straight Winds

2011-04-15T11:15:00.001-04:00

So last night I woke up to the building shaking and the wind hitting the window so hard I thought it was going to bust in. This morning when I walked on the main part of campus I found out just how strong the winds were.

That is in fact a whole tree down.

I went to check my JEEP and it had been hit.

By a leaf.

These are the sad broken trees that two years ago when I was working on grounds crew they worked so hard to keep them alive. When they finally were growing well after two years, the wind took them out.

Monday

2011-04-14T01:23:00.001-04:00

Monday was definitely a Monday. I woke up to it raining. I got ready just to walk outside and get soaked. Then the rain cleared, but my day didn't get any better. I started walking down a flight of stairs.

Then I fell.

Then I got back up and took another step.

Then I fell again.

I just sat at the bottom step in shock from my pain as my pants soaked in the water I was sitting on.

When I finally was able to get up my pants were soaked all down the back.

And that was my Monday.

I've been smirked.

2011-04-09T21:06:00.004-04:00

This is Algeria.

This is Algeria smirking at me at Model Arab League, because he hated me for opposing his redundant resolution. In fact Algeria didn't really like anyone. There was an outburst against Palestine, Sudan, and Saudi Arabia. My teammate and I, representing the United Arab Emirates, were cornered separately. I was basically told I couldn't oppose his resolution. Then we went and voted "NO" on it.

When our education resolution came up Algeria opposed it because they hated anyone who tried to oppose them.

Favorite quote of the weekend: "We are already educating too many people." Oh Algeria 69.9% literacy rate, too many?

Views of fake delegates "representing" Algeria are not actual views of the country Algeria. I'm sure Algeria is a wonderful place.

Bird Girl

2011-04-06T02:21:00.003-04:00

I always loved going to Camp Wabashi in the summer. One year I fell off the top of the bunk bed and had to go to the hospital and get several stitches in my chin. When I talked to my parents on the phone I cried because I didn't want them to come get me. I wanted to stay at camp. That's how much I loved it.

There were award ceremonies at the end of camp and one year I got "The Bird Girl" award. It sounds like a really weird award, because it was.

When I think of "bird girl" I imagine some creepy person dressed up like a bird.

However I promise that is not why I got this award. I also didn't get the award because of my tendency to have flying dreams where I fly like a bird.

I got the award for trying to save a little baby bird's life, because I'm a sucker from small baby animals. I was leaving the camp cafeteria when I heard a peeping noise coming from beside the building.

It was a tiny baby bird that had fallen from a nest high up under the roof of the building. I took one look at the little puff of feathers and knew that I would take care of it for the rest of its life. It was such a cute puff.

Until it stretched out its neck and then it looked dumb.

I put the little puff into a Styrofoam cup. It wouldn't stop chirping and I realized that I needed to feed it. I hate worms. I can handle most bugs but worms are disgusting and I hate touching them, but I knew I had to make a sacrifice for the bird if I was going to keep it alive.

I started gathering up worms with the help of my friends at camp and then I took a stick and butchered the worms and put them in an empty can of coke to store them.

I placed the bird in the cup by my bed that night. The next morning despite the fact that the little puff had refused to eat any worms it had fallen out of the cup and barfed purple grossness all over.

My counselor said that the bird was sick and couldn't live without its mother and I should just leave it in the woods. I refused to take her advice and I carried the bird around all day still trying to force it to eat the mutilated worms and drink from a water bottle.

That night I placed the bird in the cup by my bed and the next morning I woke up and the bird was on the ground dead.

I should have gotten this award:

Death By Popcorn

2011-04-03T17:30:00.008-04:00

This past Thursday at work I pretty much almost died. Kristen, my co-worker and I loaded stuff into the back of a golf cart. It was raining so we didn't want to put the forty pound bag of popcorn kernels in the back where it would get wet and mold later on.

So we put the bag between us. It was big and awkward and I had to hold on to it so it wouldn't fall forward. We were calling it a big popcorn baby until we realized forty pounds would be a super big baby so then we called it a popcorn first grader.

We decided that in high school instead of doing egg "babies" in Child Development class everyone should have to carry around a popcorn "first-grader."

Although this would be a armless, legless first-grader you had to carry everywhere but I digress. This a story about my near death not high school child development classes.

So we were in the golf cart and Kristen took a sharp turn quickly and the weight of the popcorn threatened to knock me out of the cart.

And I was almost certain that I was about to die.

But thankfully I regained my balance by grabbing on to Kristen's arm which was super safe since she was driving. And so I didn't die and I did in fact have to go to work the rest of the weekend.

Picture of the Day

2011-04-01T01:10:00.000-04:00

My mom was the one who found this on campus and had me take a picture to text to my dad. Someone had placed a paper over the poster which changed its whole meaning.

Paranormal Activity

2011-03-31T01:30:00.002-04:00

So I picked the wrong night to watch Paranormal Activity. In general I should probably avoid watching movies at night time that end with demon possession and a girl looking like this:

I was freaked out a little when I went back to my apartment. I was going to sleep on the couch which was at least somewhat closer to my roommates. But then I told myself that I needed to grow up and get over my fear and just go to sleep in my own room, because nothing was going to happen to me.

So I went to my room and wrote in my journal. Then I decided to look up some bible verses that would calm me down before I turned off the light to go to bed. As I flipped through the index I heard a huge supernatural bang and a flash of red light flooded my room.

And then the room was filled with complete darkness because even the lights outside my window were out.

I froze because I was certain that a demon was after me. But after a few beats of being stuck in a frozen state I realized how exposed I was. I threw my comforter over my head, because as you well know comforters are supernatural protection shields. For the sake of not having all black pictures I will give you the view through the blanket. I quickly grabbed my phone and called one of the girls I watched the movie with. This is what I told her:

And then without waiting for her reply I hung up the phone. About forty minutes later I noticed my phone was on silent and I had missed calls from her, because I had freaked her out. Which is understandable, I would have been freaked out by my phone call too. I could hear my roommate's voice outside my room, which also accounted for the footsteps I had heard. I yelled out to her.

Because I didn't want to get out of my bed. I was still pretty sure there was a demon.

I eventually did get safely to my roommate's room and stayed there until I was groggy and dragged myself back to my room because I was too tired to care. And it ended up not being a demon but instead the transformer box outside my window that people worked on all night and continued to make popping noises. So that was my experience with paranormal activity this week.

Pictures of the Day: Inside a Porta-Potty

2011-03-23T23:53:00.004-04:00

The last thing I ever expected to see inside a Porta-potty....the Ten Commandments.

Tashaland: Part 1

2011-03-19T20:54:00.005-04:00

I'm not even sure how to explain this, but if you know about Tashaland then this will make sense. And if you don't then you can look at the pretty pictures.

Words by Coleman Yoakum and Ted Wheetley.

Tashaland

Sometimes people are lonely. Sometimes people are sad.

But when that happens I grab them by the hand,

And I take them to a beautiful place called Tashaland.

In Tashaland there are magical creatures.

I even have a unicorn as a teacher.

Everyone has their very own puppy dog,

his tail all a waggin'.

And there are even some pretty friendly dragons.

More to come....

--------------------------------------------------

In Tashaland Tiffany always wears pink.

Pictures of the Day: Treadmill Warnings

2011-03-19T15:39:00.000-04:00

Someone in my family has a sense of humor. I found these on the treadmill at home.

And my favorite:

Best Medicine Ever!

2011-03-16T00:54:00.007-04:00

I officially love Vick's. Yesterday Vick's healed me. To begin with I self-diagnosed myself with Bronchitis, because there's no need to go to the Doctor for Bronchitis. There is only treatment for the symptoms and I can self medicate for those.

My Drugs of Choice:

I hadn't used Vick's VapoRub in a long time, since I was a little kid. I was miserable, because my lungs were sad and in severe pain. I was coughing like crazy and I decided to use some so I could breathe again.

The VapoRub began to work its magic and my lungs were able to relax, but as I began to relax I started getting a pinching feeling in my shoulder. The pinching began to turn into severe pain.

So I self-diagnosed myself with a pinch nerve, which was probably wrong, but that doesn't matter. My parents finally decided it was time I take medicine and go to bed, probably because of my annoying self-agonizing.

But for some reason I had myself convinced that my shoulder pain was caused by the NyQuil that I took the night before, despite it being 24 hours later. Thankfully my parents and the remembrance of how wonderfully NyQuil works convinced me that NyQuil would be the best solution.

When I woke up this morning I coughed up half my lungs and then I felt so much better.

Why? Because NyQuil is a miracle drug.

Bigfoot

2011-03-13T18:31:00.002-04:00

This week I was given this reassurance by a former coworker.

"If you see Bigfoot its okay to be scared and run because them things are big and fast."

Well I've never seen Bigfoot. I highly doubt I could outrun one since I probably don't have the ability to outrun the majority of humankind, but nevertheless if faced with the situation I think I would at least try. But then I would definitely be eaten by Bigfoot.

Pictures of the Day: Jackalope

2011-03-09T01:30:00.001-05:00

The archaeology class at Harding meets at an awesome dig site that was created by the professor who teaches the class. It was a large endeavor but an amazing accomplishment. He recreated three different eras that were then covered in dirt and turned into an archeaological dig site that is slowly being uncovered. Everything is scaled down and is a model of ancient cities.

Here is my group's site before we started digging:

That is the wall the classes before us uncovered.

It is always exciting to find something. My group found a wall on the next layer down and a broken clay oil lamp. One day we were getting really desperate and I found something in the ground and I began to "articulate" it or basically spend tons of time carefully picking away dirt from an object that might have significance to it.

I realized quickly that I was in fact articulating a root, but that did not stop me from just pulling it out of the site and throwing it in the bucket to be hauled away. Instead I worked really hard to clear all the dirt away from it as though it was a precious artifact and I was Indiana Jones.

This is what I had carefully uncovered:

Once I had completely articulated it and it remained in the plot I showed my professor. This is roughly the conversation that followed.

Me: Look at what I found!
Professor: Do you think that is an artifact?
Me: Maybe.
Pro: Well then what do you think it is?
Me: Well if everything is scaled down then I think its a Jackalope.
Pro:....................

And so I was supposed to take the "root" and throw it out, but instead I kept it and it rides in my car. My brother stepped on it and broke the horns off but maybe one day I'll glue it back together, because that's what Archaeologists do.

By the way the Jackalope is a mythological animal that's a mix between a Jackrabbit and the horns of an Antelope. When I went to Wyoming as a child my dad convinced me that they existed.

Physics Fail

2011-02-27T03:49:00.002-05:00

So on Friday my Physics teacher decided to combine my two least favorite subjects: Physics and Gym. I was doomed to fail miserably the moment I stepped into classroom a few minutes late.

My athletic ability looks about like this:

Basically I am a failure at sports. I have dislocated my knee playing volleyball and had to go to the hospital, and just last Fall I got a neck injury from a hit and fall in flag football.

I walked into the classroom and the teacher was waiting for the computer to reboot and while he was doing that he had a student standing at the front passing a ping pong to students to throw at the sink in the counter. I had come in a few minutes late so I had no clue what was going on.

General paths of the ping pongs people were throwing.

Suddenly the student at the front starts talking to me telling me that they are trying to get the ping pong in the sink and that it was my turn. I seriously looked behind me in hopes that he was talking to someone else but when I turned my head around and pointed at myself the ball came flying towards me.

When it comes down to it, I couldn't throw something on the path I want it to go to save my life. I took my best aim. I knew I wasn't going to make the sink, but I was definitely not expecting to hit my teacher right in the stomach.

Especially since he was standing a couple feet away and the sink was in my direct line of path and he wasn't. I looked like I did it on purpose, but really I'm just terrible at throwing. If I fail Physics I'm blaming it on this.

Educational Song

2011-02-25T03:04:00.002-05:00

When I went caving last school year, which is an epic story of its own, my friend sang a song she learned in Girl Scouts. I decided to add pictures to the lyrics.

Words and Music to "Bats Eat Bugs" are by Steve Van Zandt and the song is copyrighted by The Banana Slug String Band.

Bats Eat Bugs.

They Don't Eat People.

Bats Eat Bugs.

They Don't Fly In Your Hair.

Bats Eat Bugs. They Eat Insects For Dinner.

That's Why They're Flying Out There.

Oh the joys of Girl Scout camp.