Splinters From the Pine

The Word on the "Street"

2006-07-17T16:17:00.000-06:00

Video game "street dates" are too permeable to appropriately serve consumers

"In stores July 18^th".

Many of you might remember seeing those words plastered all over EA Sports' NCAA 07 Football's website, print and online advertisements, TV spots and the demo recently released over Xbox Live for the Xbox 360.

The date loomed as a miniature Christmas for many, with anticipation building throughout the gaming community to a fever pitch as the newest iteration of the one of the most-loved sports gaming series came closer to arriving on store shelves everywhere.

Of course, the closer the game got to release, the more people were already playing it.

Why? Because "street dates" don't work, instead causing a confusing and frustrating frenzy for gamers and retailers alike, serving nobody.

Here, I'll explain some of the rationale behind setting a "street" date - most of which are sensible and even beneficial - and then explain why the road to gaming hell is paved with good intentions.

***

The theory

"Street dates" are designed to provide benefit to the capitalistic triumvirate of producer, seller and buyer. (For simplicity's sake, I'm ignoring distributors in this discussion, which some companies use to ship copies from the factory to retailers.)

For the producer (in NCAA 07's case, Electronic Arts), the "street date" gives EA a hard-and-fast date by which to stock all their retailers with enough product to meet demand, and to allow them to distribute the product in a more structured fashion, rather than "shotgun-style", which consists mainly of blasting as many copies out to the door as quickly as possible when copies become available, which often results in odd product allotments to many retail outlets. (This is why Best Buy might have 50 copies of a game on Day One, whereas Circuit City may have a dozen, and then end up with 40 more copies a week later.)

For a high-profile, high-volume title like NCAA 07, this approach makes sense, both for EA, who can then assure correct allocation to it's resellers, and for retailers across North America, who can be assured of an appropriate amount of copies in stock to sell, and hopefully preventing them from turning away a single customer.

The "street date", in concept, provides a great service to smaller stores, who struggle to combat the "big box" chains for gamers' business. If every retailer has copies in stock, and every retailer must wait until a specific date to sell those copies, then smaller, local gaming stores can then provide the interested gamer with the same product at the same date, allowing them to compete more readily. This "second layer" of the "street date" concept is in many ways the most important, and it's also where the concept utterly fails in execution, as I'll explain later.

For gamers, the benefit of the "street date" is obvious - you'll know when the game comes out, you know you'll be able to buy it anywhere you'd like, and you know that you'll be able to find a copy. But as the "second layer" breaks down, this "third layer" does as well, causing confusion and frustration for dedicated gamers, who are - not coincidentally - the very same customers that the producers count on to provide them with a reliable financial base to recoup development costs.

The reality

For an expected blockbuster like NCAA 07, most retailers start receiving their copies a week before the street date. The "big boxes" usually receive their copies first, and within that week, the plan is for every authorized reseller to have stock in-house and ready to shelve. Generally, this part of the plan works.

The "second layer" - waiting to sell copies in stock - is where problems begin to manifest themselves. The "big box" stores (think Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, Circuit City and the like) usually receive their copies first, as they'll sell the most, and their large networks of distribution and management are not traditionally agile. Most employees are accustomed to working as quickly and as efficiently as possible. When stocking newly-arrived games, usually that means that they're unpacked and placed on shelves for sale as soon as they're received. Of course, these companies are notified of the "street date" and any penalties that might be imposed on a company that breaks that date, but oftentimes, this doesn't trickle down to each and every one of the literally thousands of individuals that will be required to effectively enforce a "street date". At a smaller chain or local gaming store, of course, this is less of a problem.

Let me briefly relay my experiences this weekend, as I investigated exactly how this "second layer" breaks down.

Last Friday, five days before NCAA 07's July 18 "street date", I resolved to purchase a copy for the Xbox 360, "street date" be damned.

On my first stop, I visited my local gaming store and asked about the title. The answer was just as I expected: the store didn't have copies yet, but the game would be on sale next week.

Next, I visited Target and sauntered into the electronics section, where a pleasant young clerk offered to help and went into the back to look for the game. After a few minutes, she returned with a befuddled and apologetic look and explained to mean that they had "two big boxes" of the game, but they had a sticker on them that said they couldn't sell it.

Feigning ignorance, I asked why.

She shook her head and said she asked "another person in the back", who told her that they couldn't sell it until next week; and that their store would get fined $1,000 per copy if they did. She apologized profusely, adding that not being able to sell something that was in the store was "kind of silly".

The next stop was Circuit City, and the first salesperson there was filling in from the camera section and didn't know much about games at all. He apologized and offered to try and find someone else who might know more. Within moments, he returned with an exuberant young clerk who nodded knowingly when I asked about the game.

"Yeah - I can't wait for that too," he said. "It's right in the back, but we can't even open it and look. It's driving me crazy."

He did point out that there was a demo of the game that could be downloaded on the Xbox 360 if I had Xbox Live. I told him that I had done that, and that I appreciated his time.

"Come back next week," he said with a wave. "It's gonna be a good game."

As it turned out, that would prove to be unnecessary.

Strolling into the nearest Best Buy, I looked at the wire-grated and locked container of Xbox 360 titles until someone came to help. I asked about NCAA 07, and the young lady peered through the grate with me, finally concluding that since they had no tags for it in the container, that they must not have it yet. I mentioned that some stores had received it, but had yet to put it on their shelves. She shrugged her shoulders and told me that if something's not on the shelves, they can't sell it.

That was that; and I went across the parking lot to CompUSA.

A lady in Business Sales noticed me perusing the Xbox aisles and asked if she could help me with anything. I mentioned that game and she brought me back to her counter to check her computer. They had copies in stock, and she asked me to wait while she retrieved one. Only minutes later, she returned, game in hand.

As she rang the game up, a confused look crossed her face.

"What the…", she muttered. "Something's weird. Hang on; I'll go get a manager."

While waiting for her to return, a forty-something salesperson walked behind the counter and whistled at the screen.

"Wow," he said. "Do you want five of those? That'll make my day - I'll even deliver them to your house," he said with a chuckle. He noticed that I was perplexed, and he swiveled the screen so I could see the price.

"That's gotta be screwed up," he said. I could only nod in amazement as I stared at the price on the screen: $718.06. Before tax.

As the Business Sales rep returned with a portly younger fellow, he explained the situation. "The game's officially released on Tuesday, and then the price drops to $59.95," he said.

"The price drops?" I was baffled. There is a "street date" after all, I knew - they were either selling it or they won't. But this CompUSA had a different perspective on things.

"Right," he continued. "If you wanted it today, you could buy it for this price, but I'm sure you'd rather wait, of course."

I was incredulous. "If I gave you my credit card right now, and you charged it 750 bucks, I could walk right out of here with the game?"

"Right," he said again. "It's more expensive because it doesn't officially come out until Tuesday."

Momentarily, I was tempted, if only to see if they'd really do it - but my investigative curiosity only goes so far.

Next, I visited the local mall and it's obligatory Electronics Boutique (or EBX or EB Games or GameStop or whatever they're calling it these days).

After mentioning the game, a large, bearded fellow insisted that I put five dollars down to reserve a copy and come in for their midnight release party on Monday. "There'll be a big line and everything," he said.

I wasn't convinced that was the best sales pitch I had ever heard, but he was energetic. I decided to mention that CompUSA was selling their copies - not at the best price, of course - but they were for sale.

The man stopped and his face reddened. "Well, they're not supposed to do that," he snapped. "If you want a legit copy, we'll open at midnight Monday and you can get one."

I mentioned that the CompUSA copy appeared to be "legit" to me, and he stammered, "Well… the way you're supposed to get one, I mean."

I headed off to a nearby Toys 'R Us, where after making my way to their selection of games, I noticed dozens of copies of NCAA 07 in their glass case. PlayStation 2 copies, Xbox copies… there they were - Xbox 360 copies.

The lady at the counter smiled and asked me, "Find what you're looking for today?"

I asked for an Xbox 360 copy, and she opened the glass case to pull one out, mentioning as she turned the key, "This has been pretty popular today. It just came in." Just as she scanned the game and set it on the counter, she picked it up once more and looked more closely at the box.

A beat, and then: "Wow. The back… that looks like a picture. $62.59, please."

I had defeated yet another "street date" - in only two hours and less than 10 miles away from my home. By doing… nothing.

***

My story, repeated ad nauseam around the country illustrates perfectly why "street dates" don't work as intended, and can actually hurt both retailers and consumers.

Target enforced the date, even though it's employees didn't really understand why they had to. CompUSA tried to make 12 times the profit. Electronics Boutique followed the script to the letter, while Toys 'R Us seemed blithely unaware of the entire concept.

Perhaps stores that break the "street date" will be fined - perhaps they won't. But what certainly won't happen is this - a major game manufacturer pulling their products from a "big box" chain. They'd be fools to do so, and the stores know it.

Let's say Electronic Arts chose to pull its games from, say, Wal-Mart. Whose bottom line would that really hurt?

However, pull those same titles from Electronics Boutique or your local game shop, and they might as well close their doors.

Threats to the "big boxes" are empty ones, and everyone in the industry knows it.

That means that whether by ignorance, carelessness or ruthlessness, "street dates" are made to be broken, confusing and frustrating customers, and small gaming stores and chains can be decimated in the process.

So, when the "street date" inevitably fails, giving even more of an advantage to "big boxes" and leaving consumers unhappy, whom does that reflect poorly upon? The game-makers, of course, which means that despite the best of intentions, no one is satisfied with the results.

That's the word on the "street".

Welcome to 1861

2006-03-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

Anyone with a brain and an attention span knew this was coming.

Now that Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito are in their appointed seats, it's time for the GOP and the Bush Administration to reach for their long-desired brass ring - the overturning of Roe v. Wade and the criminalization of abortions in America.

This time, due to the current composition of the Supreme Court - today's South Dakota challenge just happened to come up shortly after Republican Sandra Day O'Connor's replacement, Alito, was appointed - it'll probably succeed, given due time, and the United States will be a very different place.

"This is potentially an earthquake, because there is no doubt that this law conflicts with Roe v. Wade. It is completely contradictory to what the current law on abortion is."

No matter which side of the fence you sit on regarding this issue, if you think the nation's going to be a better place for what's happened today, you're gravely mistaken.

Indeed, today may very well mark the day in history when people will remember Pierre, South Dakota as the 21st century Fort Sumter.

Fight Night Round 3 needs sponge cake

2006-02-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Fight Night Round 3, EA Sports' latest boxing opus, is a fantastic game inside the ring.

Now, that's where it's important to be good, first and foremost... but...
What sort of boxing game has a career mode that doesn't include rankings?

That's only the reason behind the entire sport... why bother with that?

It's like the cream filling without the Twinkie surrounding it - seems pretty good at first, but you don't know how much you miss the rest of it until you've finished a few bites...

***

Note: After going to the Twinkies site for my link, I noticed something called the "Hostess Race Divas."
I would comment on the fact that the term "diva" doesn't really apply here, or that promoting sugar-laden Hostess products with slender, leather-clad auto racers has a certain je ne se quois, but instead, I'll let you plumb the depths of imagination and illogic that resulted in pairing Danica Patrick with Ho Ho's...

PS3 Delays?

2006-02-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

Gamespot is reporting more directly on the increasing scuttlebutt about potential delays for the PlayStation 3. It's looking like that spring launch is unlikely - although I could have told you that last summer...

It'll be interesting to see what Sony does with their delays and the price of the system - rumored (and fed in part by PlayStation honcho Ken Kutaragi's rants - "I'm not going to reveal its price today. I'm going to only say that it'll be expensive," he said in July) to be borderline exorbitant.

It's smart to hold the system back until it's fully ready and plentiful, but despite the Xbox 360's horribly botched launch, if they get nearly a full calendar year of lead time, and come in far cheaper, it could create some headaches for Sony.

The PS3 will be a more powerful piece of hardware - I have no doubts about that - but the two systems are still same-gen in terms of technology.

I think that making the PS3 a Blu-Ray Trojan horse - and make no mistake; that's what it is - is an idea that will work, but would work even better in 2-3 years. Most homes don't have an HDTV yet.
Most homes that do don't have HDMI-enabled televisions, which will be necessary to carry the 1080p hi-def signals put out by the PS3 anyway. And then there's the copyright issues.

I just think the push for Blu-Ray into homes right now is too soon, and it drives up the cost of the system dramatically - even though the significant majority of consumers have no real use for it.

I think Sony might be over-reaching. It's obvious that they're counting on the PlayStation name being able to sell anything - and it may indeed work, but I'm not sure it's a slam dunk at this point.

As for me? I don't care - I don't have stock in either Sony or Microsoft.
I just want good games, and I want a battle royale between the two companies so consumers get the best of both worlds.

Ancient Italians were jerks

2006-02-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Wasn't this embarrassing enough for the poor guy?

ROME - New DNA analysis indicates that a 5,000-year-old mummy found frozen in the Italian Alps may have been sterile — a hypothesis that would support the theory that he may have been a social outcast, officials said Friday.

OK, so he was sterile... that's bad enough, right?
But because he was sterile, he became a "social outcast".
Next, he gets shot and killed by an arrow - possibly in a ritual killing because he was sterile.
After that, he gets frozen in a glacier for 5,000 years... just so some scientists can dig him up and point out that he was sterile.

Yeesh.

Barry Bonds and the Elephant in the Corner

2006-02-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sports Illustrated's Steve Hofstetter has written a laugh-out-loud piece regarding Barry Bonds and his... issues.

I don't have proof that Barry Bonds is juiced. But I don't have reasonable doubt, either. A human head isn't supposed to grow like that. Barry Bonds has the ego of a Nobel Prize-winning supermodel astronaut and, amazingly, his ogre-like head still dwarfs it.

"But he hits so many home runs!" you say. "I like home runs! He's doing something that I like, so therefore he can't possibly be on steroids! BARRY WOULDN'T BETRAY ME!"

I don't know about you, but if my friend tells me to rub this clear cream on my skin, I don't ask - I just do it - that's the kind of guy I am.
And if I were to ask, and he says, "It's flaxseed oil," I suppose that wouldn't really stop me, because I don't have a damned clue what a flaxseed is anyway.
And if I were to ask where he got it, and he said, "BALCO - the custom steroid lab run by the Tower of Power horns section guy," I'd think, "Hmm... is my friend giving me steroids so I can hit home runs and make millions of dollars?"

And then I'd rub it on anyway, because I could really use millions of dollars right now.

Then I'd think, "The Tower of Power guy makes steroids?"

Let's face it - it's not like baseball wants to do anything about it, anyway.
Once Barry's head starts collecting it's own satellites? Maybe.

New World Order

2006-01-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

This isn't about Democrats or Republicans, "red" or "blue" states, "conservatives" or "liberals" anymore - if any of those things truly had meaning to begin with.

This is about Americans, and the very way of life that so many have fought and died for... and continue to today.

The old proverb says that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Whether well-intended or not, we are where we are - and it's time Americans as one opened our eyes and kept them keenly focused on the road we're walking.

William Rivers Pitt is a finer writer than I, and he elaborates thusly in "The New Fascism".
Believe it or don't, ridicule it or not - but read it.
Knowledge is still power, and as Santayana famously posited, "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

Tidal changes in government and power tend to happen slowly in most cases; slowly enough that the people governed barely perceive what is occurring at the time.

There's still some time left.

The truth hurts

2006-01-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Americans are dumb.
We didn't used to be this way as a culture, and I'm not old enough to have experienced the initial crumbling of the country's intellectual foundations, but I've certainly seen the walls of the house collapsing during my stay on the planet.

Our collegiate systems have been reduced to money-making institutions that favor profit over the enlightenment of its students. You don't need to be smart to finish college anymore - you simply need enough money to wait out your four years.
Our President is a Yale graduate, and he says things like "strategery" and "misunderestimate" - and in case you were wondering - no, that's not a ringing endorsement of the vaunted Ivy League.

Certainly, there are (thankfully) exceptions to the rule, but the fact that this has become the rule is heartbreaking.

"Most students at community colleges and four-year schools showed intermediate skills, meaning they could perform moderately challenging tasks. Examples include identifying a location on a map, calculating the cost of ordering office supplies or consulting a reference guide to figure out which foods contain a particular vitamin."

That's considered "intermediate" for adults?
When I went to school, we called that "fourth-grade".

"There was brighter news.

"Overall, the average literacy of college students is significantly higher than that of adults across the nation...
Also, compared with all adults with similar levels of education, college students had superior skills in searching and using information from texts and documents."

That's brighter news? I suppose run-of-the-mill stupidity is better than rampant idiocy, but it's largely a matter of degree.

Sour grapes from ESPN

2006-01-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm a bit surprised at Gene Wojciechowski's column, myself.
Denver played an ugly game against New England, but they also forced New England into playing even uglier. That's business as usual in the NFL playoffs.

Yes, their offense needs to play better next week, but neither Pittsburgh nor Indianapolis is as stout against the run as the Patriots had been in the last half of the season. Denver still managed to win against a excellent football team without their offense working - and that's very tough to do against the two-time defending champs and their vaunted coach, Bill Belichick.

It's OK that no one wants to give Denver any credit, however - this isn't college football; there are no polls - if you leave the field with more points than the other guy, that's all that matters.

It was the tone of the column that surprised me - shockingly bitter and personal in it's attacks.

There's no question that ESPN was pulling for New England - Brady and Co. make for better press, and the Boston market is both larger than Denver and nearer to Bristol, Conn. If you read ESPN's Page 2, "Daily Quickie" author Dan Shanoff explained ESPN's rooting interests on Friday.

Nevertheless, Wojciechowski failed to separate himself from so many other sportswriters who simply can't seem to get over the fact that the NFL's glamour boy and his team lost. It's remarkable, given his stature - and more than a little disappointing.

I don't believe Denver stands a chance in Indy - I never have at any point this season. They don't match up well with the Colts, and even at their very best, I don't believe Denver can realistically expect to travel to the RCA Dome and leave victorious.

But Pittsburgh - a mirror-image of the Broncos in almost every way - playing a AFC Championship game in Denver?

Only a fool would dismiss the Broncos' chances in that situation so quickly and so haughtily.

NOTE: Umm... yeah.
Have I mentioned what a great, insightful writer Gene Wojciechowski is?
Because he so is...

What a month...

2006-01-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

Decembers are busy for everyone, so I don't have much of an excuse. But after a trip to Phoenix to interview Wayne Gretzky, and then another one to Vancouver to evaluate Electronic Arts' forthcoming MVP NCAA Baseball 06... and then the holiday season and all it's manifold details and obligations, my blog got lost in the shuffle of NBA work and (unsuccessfully) fighting the flu.

But it's a New Year, and I'm back - I hope (cough, cough).

¿Quien es mas macho? Xbox 360 o PS3?

2005-12-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

Heresy, right?
It comes out later, hence it's more powerful, right?
I mean, the PlayStation is more popular, so it must be better, right?

Not surprisingly, Microsoft's Bryan Lee, Corporate Vice President & CFO Home & Entertainment, doesn't see it that way.

I'm looking forward to Ken Kutaragi's over the top response to that.
Seeing as he's already stated that Microsoft built the Xbox 360 to compete with the PS2 - huh? - I'm expecting "Krazy Kenny" to be notably quotable until the release of the PS3.

On the bright side, I know one thing the PS3 will most definitely have over the Xbox360 - it's controller.

It's not necessarily better performance-wise, but if the Joker, Penguin or Riddler show up at your door, you can easily go "Caped Crusader" on their punk asses with your handy Sony-brand Batarang...

Stepping away from the repartee of PR flacks (okay, really highly paid ones...) for a moment, as far as which one's right; technologically speaking - we dunno.

It's a very tough thing to project either way.
Raw power, per se, doesn't necessarily mean that much in comparable hardware - it's how it's utilized - and these two systems will be relatively close in that regard.

There are a lot of legitimate arguments and concerns regarding whether the PS3 will actually deliver on it's hype and promise - not that failing to do so will stop Sony from selling roughly 18 kajillion units...

The PS3 will be a dazzling system, of course - but those of you who remember the specs and tech demos of the PS2's vaunted "Emotion Engine" have some idea of Sony's traditional hype-to-performance ratio.

Of course, at a banking and investment conference, Microsoft is touting their machine - what else would you expect? - but at least Lee sounded reasonable about it - admitting that each machine will outperform the other in some respects (quite likely true), and that both machines are "Ferraris" (absolutely true).

Compared to his Sony counterpart - Kuturagi-san, who routinely insists that the PS3 will all but cure cancer and tuck you into bed at night with a Bizet aria as a lullaby - I'd consider Lee's statements to be downright reserved.

Meeting the "Great One"

2005-12-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I'm headed to Phoenix to have lunch and chat with Wayne Gretzky, the Coyotes' coach and undeniably the greatest hockey player in history.

I'm going to watch their morning skate and then watch Gretzky coach a game later that evening.

That should be a lot of fun - I'll make sure to put some excerpts here next week, so please check back.

Ya-WHO!

2005-12-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

The World Health Organization is discriminating in their hiring policy - and I couldn't be happier about it.

"WHO has taken a very public lead in the fight against tobacco use," spokesman Iain Simpson said. "As a matter of principle, WHO does not want to recruit smokers."

Fantastic. As a person who's watching smoking ravage his family first-hand (and sadly, it's probably not done yet), it's obvious to me how extraordinarily damaging smoking is to humanity as a whole.

Of course, it's a huge industry, and it won't go away anytime soon (due to the advantages of manufacturing a deadly-but-addictive drug with the government's blessing), but that doesn't mean that people who care about their health should have to put up with it.

Pre-natal and second-hand smoke can harm people in all sorts of insidious ways that will negatively affect the rest of their lives - I'm walking proof of it, but there are millions more who can verify it, and millions more in the grave who can't.

You want to poison yourself? Fine - I don't care - just have the decency to do it in a locked room where it won't kill anyone else; your child, your spouse, your friends, or even a stranger who doesn't deserve what you're doing to them.

The company making that cigarette doesn't care, either. Sure, you'll die from it, but you'll probably hook a few other people to replace you. They'll get their blood money - and they don't have to put what's left of your family back together, so it's not their problem.

I applaud WHO for making this decision. Decide to smoke, and you've already decided that health isn't one of your priorities.

Maybe one day, it'll make a difference. Or maybe we'll bring back hemlock as an apertif - that'd be quicker.

While we're on the subject...

2005-12-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Eighty-three percent of Americans call themselves Christians. 83%.
That's what we call a supermajority in polispeak.

So when stuff like this pops up (and it increasingly does), it rankles me:

"The enemies of Christmas have succeeded in making Christians feel as if we are bad and intolerant to wish someone a 'Merry Christmas. This is political correctness run amok. We have reached an all-time low point in our nation's history when human sensibilities are elevated above offending Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is long past the time for Christians to stand firm in our faith.

Say wha'?!

What enemies? The piddling 17%?
We have a President who truly believes God chose him to hold the office.
His adminstration runs things past James Dobson before they run them past Congress.
It's clear that Christians are standing pretty damned firmly in their faith...

To put it plainly: Christians run the show now. Almost all of it, as a matter of fact - so relax - your concerns are more then well-represented.

I don't mind, really. If I'm to claim that I support democracy, then it means that must I accept the will of the people - no matter what I personally believe - and that will is overwhelmingly Christian. Fair enough. I accept it.

But, please - enough with the "poor us" routine.
There are no neo-Romans throwing you to the lions anymore - you're in charge, and you've been telling everyone what to do for a while now.

Congratulations - you won the battle fair and square.

All I'm asking is that Christians try to be a good sport about it.
That shouldn't be too hard for a faith that's supposed to preach temperance, tolerance and brotherly love.

I was raised Christian - most of my family is Christian, and of course I know that the vast majority of them are certainly not zealots. But unfortunately, the really loud ones are - so for Christmas, maybe the reasonable ones can give the world a gift - get their house in order this year and make sure the crazy uncles stay inside for a while.

But then again, I'm too old to believe that Santa delivers presents, either...

Beachfront property ain't what it used to be...

2005-12-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

The 14th Atlantic hurricane this year, Hurricane Epsilon (yup - they ran out of real names to give them...) made its unwelcome debut this morning. It's not expected to hit land anywhere, but it's helping to drop some hints.

This type of yearly hurricane activity looks like it's going to stay awhile. The normal ocean patterns are in an "up" phase, where hurricanes are more common - and will be for at least a decade. Add that to some (many would say unnaturally) warm water in the Gulf of Mexico and the rest of the Atlantic, and you have a witch's brew for yearly disaster up and down the Atlantic seaboard.

Pat Robertson's colorful insanity aside, the real problem is that people keep moving right in the paths of these things...

You know they're coming, right?
Let me recommend a safer and more economical alternative...

"Oregon Slim?"

2005-12-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

A nine-year old child qualified for the U.S. Pool Players Association national tournament in Reno, this week. The precocious Jontel Barita has won half of his tournaments since joining the association only seven months ago.

Wow. When I was nine, I was playing center defense in youth soccer and second base in Little League baseball. I wasn't bad, but I wasn't good enough to compete in Reno... although I guess Reno isn't quite as entertaining when you're nine, either...

Mm-hmm. Suuure...

2005-11-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I believe Michael Irvin's story.
Why not?

Oh, yeah... his history. His long, drug-infused history.

Actually, I think I found Puss in Boots' excuse in Shrek 2 to be more believable.

Arlen Specter is Bored (and Wildly Unfocused)

2005-11-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

The fifth-term Senator from - you guessed it - Pennsylvania, is concerned that Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens is being treated unfairly.

I suppose I could mention that I wonder where the righteous indignation from Senator Specter was during the Abu Ghraib hearings or the discussions about detainees in Guantanamo, but I suppose if the chairman of the Senate Judiciary committee doesn't think he has anything better to do...

In Pittston Township, Penn. on Monday, Specter mentioned that "there is no easy answer" for ending the U.S. military presence in Iraq, and he said Hurricane Katrina was "a disaster in every way."

"It showed how unprepared we are if we have a terrorist attack," Specter added.

Well, I guess he doesn't have anything better to do!
After all, if he and the boys on the Hill have spent the last four years getting us ready for the next terrorist attack, and that's the best our billions of dollars can get us, then I suppose it's time to gab about "T.O.", right?

After all, when it's obvious that you can't do your job, the best thing to do politically is fall back and grandstand on a topic dear to the populace's heart - the local football team. At least that way, you look like you're paying a little attention. If you can back a fellow millionaire while you're at it - well, that's just a bonus...

Anyway, it looks like Specter and junior Senator Rick Santorum have Pennsylvania safe and secure, so why bother discussing real issues?

It's not like crazy people can run onto Lincoln Financial Field and spread fine powder in the middle of 75,000 fans, right?

Oh, they can?

Bang-up job, gentlemen. Bravo.

The Amazing World of Modern Science

2005-11-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

All sorts of good stuff this week:

-- Saturn's "F" ring, odd enough as it is, isn't even a "ring" - it's a spiral. I took an astrophysics course in college, and though I enjoyed it in concept, I was fearful that my brain would explode - so I'll leave this to wiser minds than I to figure out.

-- Two new bits of information about your eyes: first, despite the fact that we all apparently have huge differences in the number of color receptors in our retinas, we all "see" color the same way... except we don't. Cool. The second one? Well, hopefully, this study didn't suck years of funding away from something else - they could have just bought me lunch and I would've told 'em...

-- Last, but not least, I'm all for science and helping others beyond the grave - I have the organ donor box checked on my driver's license - but methinks the gentleman pictured here may find getting volunteers to be a challenge. Donating my organs to help another sick person live? Sure, I'm in. Donate my body to partially decompose in an Iowa swamp? Umm... not so much.

'Tis the season

2005-11-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

The holiday season is upon us, and while the malls get all the action, there's an easy way to ensure that many youngsters don't get left out.
For three years now, the folks at Penny-Arcade have been smashing the "gamer" stereotype with the Child's Play charity. This program helps gamers and anyone else donate games, toys, books, videos and many other items to children's hospitals across the United States and Canada.

As a person who spent a lot of time in hospitals as a child myself, I can attest to the boredom and depression that sets in when one is stuck in hospital bed during the holidays.
While there were no Xboxes, PlayStations or Game Boys when I "did my time", even a new book made a huge difference.

With Child's Play, it's easy to make that difference for many sick children this holiday season.
They've coordinated with specific hospitals to find out what their patients would like, and you can simply shop from an Amazon.com wish list to support your local hospital in the Child's Play network (mine's the hometown Children's Hospital in Denver). More are being added all the time.
If you're an Ebay shopper, then you'll be happy to know that Child's Play can also accept PayPal to make your donations easy.

You don't even have to leave your own home, it helps the show the world that "gamers" aren't the sociopaths the modern media would paint us, and most importantly, it'll make you - and a child - feel a whole lot better.

Please join me in supporting Child's Play. You can help by clicking the Child's Play banner atop this page today. Thank you.

Turkey day NFL

2005-11-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

After reading that the soon-to-be-ex-Eagle Terrell Owens' suspension was upheld, I can watch some football tomorrow relatively guilt-free.
Don't cry for "T.O.", though - he still gets paid millions to sit, and so does his addled-bulldog and self-proclaimed "super agent", Drew Rosenhaus. The receiver now has plenty of time to work on his sit-ups in the driveway in preparation for the arduous task of destroying yet another team from the inside in 2006.

The sad part of all this is that Owens isn't the worst guy in the NFL - not by a longshot. But it's good to know that teams at least have the right to take their problem children out of the playpen when necessary.

The exhilarating Michael Vick leads the Falcons against the Lions in the first game . He's the most fun athlete in the NFL to watch - even more so when he's trying to pass. It's like watching the blocky streams of light falling from the sky in Missile Command - they're flying all over the place, and no one has a clue where they're going...

The second game actually brings us a top-quality match-up between two playoff-bound teams and two legendary coaches. Bill Parcells has the 7-3 Cowboys ready for their showdown with Mike Shanahan's 8-2 Denver Broncos, and both teams lead their respective divisions. Parcells has turned the Cowboys into winners, like he has for every team he's coached, while Shanahan has seemingly done the impossible - reined in the wildly unpredictable Jake Plummer (the Grizzly Adams look-alike pictured above), and turned him into a darkhorse MVP candidate.

If you're a football fan, have a coffee at noon, so that "turkey nap" doesn't cost you a chance to see one of the more entertaining tilts of the year that doesn't include the Colts.

All your 'Box are belong to us...

2005-11-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

It's sitting there in it's brilliant white, but still-sealed, cardboard package.
Taunting me.

"Play me," it seems to say.
"But I must sell you for crazy-money on Ebay," I say back.
"No chance. You know that now that I'm sitting in your den, you can't bear to part with me," it responds with a snarl.
"I can hold off on next-gen gaming. I don't even own an HDTV," I say, only half-meaning it.
It silently stares back at me with it's extra new wireless controller friend in tow...

It knows better.
Damn thing...

***

There may or may not be a shortage of Xbox 360 units in reality, but in this case, perception is everything.

If one would have pre-ordered and gotten, say ten units yesterday from all over town, one could be starting a substantial college fund for their children right now.

Like with any new product launch, word is trickling in about hardware problems. Time will tell if they're an aberration or not, but it's worth paying attention to - especially if replacement units will be few and far between.

"I'm just here for the gasoline."

2005-11-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

If you're a gamer, Christmas comes tomorrow.

Of course, if you're a gamer who didn't pre-order an Xbox 360, Christmas might come in February...

Microsoft insists that they'll have a steady trickle of product in stores every week, but if you don't have one on hold already, I hope you're prepared for the Mad Max-level of scrounging/pillaging that's bound to occur - because at this rate, the Xbox 360's going to make Furby and Tickle Me Elmo look like they grew on trees.

My local Toys 'R Us is getting eight units at launch. Eight.

Not deterred? Still determined to challenge the maddening throngs for your slice of next-generation gaming ambrosia?
Then check out Kotaku's "Xbox 360 Last-Minute Buyer's Guide" quickly, and get camping!

Here's some purchasing tips from yours truly:

If you can help it, don't buy the Core System. Get the "premium" one instead. You'll get a lot more value for your money, and you'll be able to, you know, save your games...
While the wireless controllers are indeed the cat's meow, keep in mind that the wired controllers can be hooked up to a USB port and used on your Windows XP PC for gaming. So it's got that going for it, which is nice...
Don't have HDTV? Buy this. The VGA HD AV cable (say that five times fast!) will support 720p and 1080i high-definition graphics on your computer monitor. Sure, it's not as nice as that 60" plasma screen you were eyeing, but for 40 bones, it's a damn sight cheaper. Your monitor's good enough for World of Warcraft, right? That's what I thought - so get one of these babies before everyone figures out what they do and they're back-ordered until March.
Get the "woody" front panel. Let's face it - that's just bad-ass...

Zooropa 2105

2005-11-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

I'm a fan of both Bono and U2. The band's exemplary, of course, and Bono's work as an activist has real value (even if he does grandstand from time to time... to time).

But the songster savant may have hit an off-key on yesterday's "60 Minutes", when he predicted that his music will still be around in 100 years, explaining that his songs occupy "an emotional terrain that didn't exist before our group did."

OK - so he might just be right - although I'd imagine there's a complaint line forming in Cleveland as we speak.
Still, you just don't say that sort of thing, because the next step is, of course, onto the "bigger than Jesus" stage - and nobody wants that.

Well, maybe Mel Gibson...

You go, Texas!

2005-11-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

I promise - I'll never say that again.
But the state of Texas is suing Sony BMG Music under state anti-spyware laws, so they deserved it - complete with triple-snaps in a "Z" formation...

In case you haven't been following this (and if you buy music CD's, you'd better start!), here's a snippet from the Yahoo news article:

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott accused Sony BMG of surreptitiously installing spyware because XCP masks files that it installs. This "cloaking" component can leave computers vulnerable to viruses and other security problems, Abbott said, echoing the findings of computer security researchers.

"People buy these CDs to listen to music," Abbott said. "What they don't bargain for is the computer invasion that is unleashed by Sony BMG."

This is the next front in the battle for content control and privacy, and surprise - Sony's involved!
I know and agree that they should have every right to protect their IPs, but geez... here's hoping Texas proves the point.