Spontaneous Clapping

Of birds and bugs

2013-04-25T22:44:00.004-07:00

Climbing mountains at the park

The other day Peanut and I were in the backyard. It was one of those gorgeous sunny days and we were watching the birds flock to our fruit trees. The previously unidentifiable fruit tree of which I will ask advice about at a later time.

He laughed as the birds flew around and I watched him attempt to take off with them.

He jumped, waving his arms around and laughing loudly as the birds took off for safer ground. Peanut did this repeatedly while I watched with amusement.

He suddenly looked at me in disbelief. "Mommy, I can't fly."
I could tell he was actually surprised.

"Well, where are your wings and feathers?" I asked.

"I don't have wings. I can't fly, I'm too little," he said as if he will surely be able to fly when he gets older.

I was having one of those existential mommy moments. You know those moments? The ones where you marvel about the existence of you and your little one, at your places on this Earth. You are amazed to see this little human you helped create.

I was watching his mind whirl over the fact that there was something he could not do and watched as he decided that surely he would be able to do this wonderful, amazing thing when he got a bit bigger.

I watched him as he smiled and ran and giggled and played and I took note of every moment, trying to burn it into my memories. It is an amazing thing to watch your child exist and learn and grow.

I saw the tiny bug, about the size of a gnat, land on the the bright yellow stool sitting in the middle of the lawn. His eyes lit up as he discovered this new friend. Oh how he loves bugs.

In the blink of an eye he was reaching over to it and the sound of me screaming NOOOOOOO! broke the magic of our moment as he smashed it with his finger and stuck it in his mouth.

Celebrating Easter 2013

2013-04-12T19:16:00.002-07:00

I loved Easter this year because Peanut was pleasantly surprised to find an Easter basket waiting for him in the morning. He also loved putting up some decorations and doing a few crafts.

He did not however, have any expectations for bunny prints staged outside or elaborate egg hunts and who knows what else. This is nice because somehow during the move I lost our bin of Easter stuff and again this holiday just snuck up on me, which is what I say for every holiday these past few years.

Perhaps my favorite part of all this egg business is watching the little ones try and open some of those tight fitting eggs.

It is awesome.

I might have to glue some together when he gets older.

Or is that not part of the Easter spirit? I'm not so sure.

The big reward for all that hard work is...... MONEY!

One quarter, one dime, one nickel and one penny and you would have thought the kid won the lottery.

Oh the simple things in life.

Nothing like the clunk of coins dropping into your Noah's Ark piggy bank.

I keep trying to play with the filters on flicker but I think what I really need is photoshop.
How much money do I need to spend in able to get a program that will brighten up pictures like the one above?

Peanut also loved spending time reading through his Easter book with daddy.
Daddy does a lot of fun voices and sound effects.

B had to work (Boo!) so he helped me get the kid wrangled to head to church.

Of course we were already running late which means I made a last minute switch of churches in an effort to find a mass that was 30 minutes later than the one I planned to attend.

We stopped to take a few pictures but really to throw some dirt and get messy before heading to mass. He picked up a snail in the church parking lot and threw it at my car.

Thank you for that.

We ended up in the children's room of this new church, which is to say that we ended up in a room with no ventilation and 10 other kids, 9 of whom were sick.

There was a box of books and the kids were wandering around and

I couldn't hear anything and Peanut thought it was play time.

We left early. I know. But seriously, I was dying in there and I felt like staying any longer sort of missed the point of going in the first place.

Somehow his sleeves got dirty with I-don't-want-to-know-what so I changed him again before heading to my parents house.

This look says, "Seriously mom, I just want to give Nama this bunny I made and you keep dragging me around and changing my clothes and taking lots of pictures. Enough."

So off we went and he was so happy to see his cousin.

They are always happy to see each other.

They are always arguing within 30 minutes.

It always makes me laugh.

What I love about this age is that the kids are really happy with their one egg but all the adults are busy calling them, getting their attention and pointing them to more.

It's hilarious to watch the chaos.

I'm still trying to decide if Peanut went around picking all the pink eggs or the other boys picked all the blue and green or if it was just coincidence.

Either way it was awfully cute and very noticed by myself and others which really makes me laugh.

We can have a discussion about gender differences, gender discussions and society expectations later, yes?

Again with the egg opening!

You gotta put some muscle into these things.

About this time we realized that all the eggs that were pre-filled with other little eggs had a bunch of candy that they couldn't eat in the center.

Bubble gum, Now & Laters and other choking hazard, yay!

It didn't really matter because the kids, or at least Peanut, doesn't really get the concept of candy anyway. I let him have some Smarties that he ended up spitting out.

We decided it would be better to distract them with Easter Baskets.

Look mom, an Easter gun!

Yes, yes, that's nice dear. Wait what?

OK, OK it's a bubble gun but still, the thing comes with a holster.

A holster filled with bubble ammo.

These gun and holster sets are obviously not as easy to use and you would think.

Papa to the rescue!

When Peanut was born I said no guns. I don't particularly like them.

Of course, a child can turn just about anything into a gun.

I often find him shooting things with a backward golf club.

I suppose it doesn't matter.

Unfortunately or fortunately these didn't end up working well and magically disappeared after the festivities.

I've decided that the ability to find your own Easter eggs and then open them is a right of passage.

It's like moving to the big kids table.

We spent a little time stuffing our face.

The adults do it with dignity, which is to say that we do it one serving, one plate at a time.
We casually go back time and time again, a serving here, a serving there.

The kids shamelessly stick as many cheese puffs as possible into their mouths before they choke.

Fun was had by all.

A little baseball training from my nephew Justin, whose child I am convinced is some kind of hitting and pitching prodigy as the age of nearly 3.

We both met daddy at home later in the evening, with our arms full of leftovers and our eyes drooping from a day of festivities.

How was your Easter?

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

2013-04-07T14:03:00.001-07:00

Ugh, I loved this book. There is no way I can properly explain the story and I don't want to spoil it for you anyway. Instead I'll talk about what it was like for me to read it and hope that maybe you'll go out and pick it up to read yourself. This is also a post about how I may have neglected my child in order to finish this book. This is why I should never start a book during naptime.

When I started the book I hadn't really worked out that I was in the mood for it. I had just finished another book that morning and was feeling more in the mood for some fluffy romance with rainbows and puppies in it. The only reason I started this one is because it comes so highly recommended and has a phenomenal overall scoring on Goodreads (where you can read the plot summary). Plus I knew there were people at the library waiting for the book and I wanted to get it back sooner rather than later.

About 50 pages in I'm glad I started it.

100 pages in and I am getting that antsy, squirrely, face-rubbing excitement I get when I know I've found a good book. Have I ever told you that I have a habit of rubbing my face when I get really excited about something? It must be a physical manifestation of the building emotion. Or something. Anyway, I've done it since childhood.

200 pages in and I've finished Part One. I stop and post on the book club website about how I want to tear through the remainder of the book to find the answers and yet I don't want the characters to go away. What I really mean is that I don't want any of the characters to die. Of course, this a book about war. It is often brutal, always raw, and sadly true in a million ways. We know in the very first chapter that she is an enemy spy and she will be executed.

The reason I came to pause at that one point is because I not only identified with these characters, I loved some of them and understood the rest. It's a miracle that I could look at the evil Nazi bastards (as they are often and rightfully described) and sometimes feel a moment of pity or at least understanding about parts of them.

I won't go into the details here for fear of spoiling things for you but I could have hours of discussions on the character of Von Linden, who he was before the war and who he would turn into during. Anyway, in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that at one point I was so caught up in the war that the sound of the neighbors bringing in the trash can nearly made me jump out of my skin. That grating, rumbling sound in the quiet and dark was part of the war until I realized that I was sitting in a fluffy pink robe over polka dot pajamas in the comfort of my own home.

201 pages in and I'm squealing in delight. 258 pages in and I'm soaring on hope.

I have to wake Peanut from his nap or he'll ruin his bedtime and I've already let him sleep later than usual. I tell myself it's because he needed the sleep (which he did) but I suspect part of the reason is because I didn't want to put the book down. Once he wakes I settle him onto the bed next to me to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Forget developing brain cells, this kid should watch some TV! This will buy me some time.

285 pages in and I'm crying. I'm trying to be quiet because I don't want to alarm Peanut. It occurs to me how odd it is to hear the cartoon music in the background at the same moment that my mind and heart seems to be stuck in France. I'm filled with love and terror and admiration and I'm shattered and dumbstruck and raw.

Then I remember that I need to get groceries and vaguely realize that Peanut has watched 3 episodes in the time it takes for me to read and re-read these precious pages. I walk around Albertsons in a daze because the world seems wrong or maybe it just seems wrong that I'm walking around in it. We eat Rotisserie Chicken with Couscous and canned vegetables because I'm running behind schedule and I don't want bedtime to go too late because I must finish this book as soon as possible.

294 pages in and I've decided that this book is absolutely brilliant. I want to read the whole thing again cover to cover and I haven't even finished it yet.

332 pages and I reluctantly finish the last line. I am positive this will be one of my favorite picks of 2013. If I had read it last year it would have been my favorite for the year.

I can't fully describe how I feel at this point because it's all too soon, I've only just finished it tonight.

I do hope you read it and like it and come back to discuss it with me!

Kiss me, Hardy. Kiss me QUICK!

Yay! It's the Easter Bunny!

2013-03-31T14:59:00.001-07:00

In keeping with the theme we took this lovely Easter picture.

It looks like we took almost the same exact picture from last year.

I'd love to see the look on the person's face beneath that bunny mask.

It all seemed fine in the beginning.
He was even the tiniest bit happy to see the bunny.

Of course, being behind the fence is much better than being on it's lap.

We hope you're all having a perfectly joyful day!

(Which we are, despite what it looks like)

We'll be back soon to post some pictures from our day!

Wading through it

2013-03-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

We're still here, just truckin' along.

It's just one of those times for us,

where life comes at you from every direction.

You know what I mean?

Things are just whizzing toward you and pulling at you and you're just trying to keep your balance and keep your head above water and you're moving through the mud and the muck and it's d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g at your legs and you think you see solid ground but every time it gets closer it rains again and everything just becomes mud and ohmyGod this post could go on and on.

I know you've had those days or those weeks or those years.

We've had 2 months of this and I'm tired.

It's nothing we can't handle but sometimes it's all just so exhausting.

Being. an. adult. can. be. so. tiring.

On the bright side we live next to O'Neil Regional Park where these lovely pictures were taken on a Saturday morning after a bike ride from our house that took just a few minutes.

I mean, we live next to this place and it smells like nature when you enter.

That sounds weird but the air is clear and kind of sweet and it's spring and there are new fresh grass shoots all soft and whispy and everywhere and it's amazing.

I'm already envisioning overnight camping trips when Peanut gets just a little bit bigger.

Hopefully he'll grow up getting to know these trails (and there are tons of them) and all the green spaces in between and nature will be a part of his everyday life. This is why I commute the way I do.

This is awesome.

Now if only life could let up on us just a bit, okay?

~shakes fist in air~

Who needs 2 sideburns anyway.

2013-03-06T20:36:00.002-08:00

Peanut really needed a haircut.

I'd been dragging my feet on getting it done because it's usually a 2 person activity.

I needed back up but it just wasn't in the cards so I took him by myself.

It all started well enough, we didn't even have to use a straight jacket to sit him in the chair.

I bribed him with a juice box which was quite a treat because he usually only has them at birthday parties. He has no idea what suckers are so those don't really work in getting him to cooperate.
My back-up was a pack of seaweed I had hidden in my bag.

I told the hairdresser that I wanted it trimmed

but I didn't want her to cut too much off.

30 seconds later she ran the clippers right up the back of his head while my stomach flipped and I tried not to look like something just went terribly wrong.

I imagine my face looked something like this.

Unfortunately the damage was already done and there was nothing to do but even it out.

He did really well with his juice box and a bunch of toys
until she started using the small clippers to trim the edges.

All of a sudden it was similar to trying to wrestle a cat into a large pool of water.

He was climbing up me and yelling, "Stoppit! Stoppit! Pease! Stoppit!" and generally frightening all the other children. I tried to look calm and amused while he clawed his way up my face.

Somehow in the struggle a poor defenseless sideburn was wiped from the face of an angry Peanut.

It was actually worse before I pinned him down and she finished it off.

It was like a Vanilla Ice eyebrow line gone wrong.

She apologized and said it would grow in quickly which is such a total lie since this his only his 3rd haircut EVER.

Peanut, how does it feel to know you are going into the military at such an early age?

He's high tailing it out of here.

I don't blame you kid, I don't blame you.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

2013-02-24T22:57:00.000-08:00

I first entered The Night Circus in April, 2012.
I was wandering through the library when I noticed it on the New Books shelf.
The cover was pretty and interesting and the title held a bit of mystery and magic.

I peeked in and looked a bit further and found myself falling deeper and deeper.

When it was chosen by The Bibliophile Support Group I decided to revisit Le Cirque des Reves by way of Jim Dale's audio recording. I must admit that the first 30 minutes I had to keep reminding myself that Dumbledore had not joined the circus but after 106 hours of HP audio you cannot fault me.

But what about the book?

I cannot remember the last time I read a book so rich in imagery.

The Night Circus travels the world with no schedule or announcements preceding it's various destinations.
It is open only at night and contains magic, wonders, love and comradery that you can hardly imagine.
Luckily you don't need to imagine, you simply read this book and step across the pages into
The Circus of Dreams.

Behind the wonders of the circus, behind the Ice Garden, the Illusionist, the Cloud Maze and the scent of caramel in the air, a battle is being fought. A lifetime feud persists leaving everyone who is a part of Les Cirques des Reves tied to the outcome. As Celia and Marco duel they each pour themselves into the game and fall into a dangerous and remarkable love.

Who will win the game and at what cost?

The Night Circus reads much like the circus it describes.

You start off slowly, working your way in circles,
picking up bits and pieces of the circus and it's characters along the way.

You stop here and there just to observe but never knowing what you'll see on the next page, in the next tent, with the next character.

You are always moving in circles, heading this way, circling back, entering here and leaving just there.

Pretty soon you find yourself completely inside the circus,
where you stay until the book ends
or morning comes.

Although the book does tend to skip around, it didn't seem to bother me at all. I tend not to read the dates at the chapter start regardless but found that the settings revealed themselves soon enough.

If you like a book that is rich in imagery, romantic, mysterious, magical and compelling, I believe that you'll soon find yourself happy to have read this book.
I daresay that some of you will be donning a touch of red and naming yourselves among a great many Reveurs.

I hope you read this book and come back to tell me how you enjoyed your visit to The Night Circus.

Check out Erin Morgenstern's website and the first bit of the book HERE
and check out this awesome fan fic artwork!

Just be braver than the baby

2013-02-22T21:21:00.003-08:00

I'm afraid of the dark.

I believe in ghosts.

I have a hyperactive imagination.

Let that information soak in for a second.

Yes, I'm sure nighttimes as a child were fun for my parents.

Fortunately Peanut is still at the age that monsters are funny and not lurking under the bed.

However, the other day he ran to tell us that there was a monster outside the front door of my parents house. It was really a wreath that was moving in the wind, casting shadows through the glass.

It reminded me that fears are something we are getting much closer to and I better figure out how handle these types of situations.

Last night Peanut woke up screaming for me to come help him.

This happens nightly but I have a hard time letting him cry for me when he is specifically saying Mommy, help me! (more on this fascinating choice of words later)

When I went in he was still half asleep and crying.

Me: What's wrong baby, how can I help you?

Him: Help, mommy, help me! Help me please! ~pulls at his hands in frustration~

Me: Help you with what, what is it? ~yawn~

Him: There! Right there! See! ~points into the darkness over my left shoulder~

Help mommy, help!

Me: ~momentarily paralyzed with fear~

Me: ~looks around while mentally chanting, just keep your cool mommy, don't freak the kid out, there is nothing there, no need to plant the fear of the dark in his head. Man, it's really dark in here...~

Me: Uh-huh, do you want me to tuck you in?

Him: No, no, no, no, this! ~he points and then rolls to his side~ Sit, mommy.

Me: OK baby, I love you.

I sit in silence, my eyes searching, groping through the darkness.

What was that? Did something move?

Will I wake him if I turn up the night light?

Be cool mommy, just be cool, there is nothing there.

~glances over shoulder~

WTF did he mean by "Right there! See!"?!
~shifts uncomfortably and looks around!

I sat there for a while, then ran down the hallway and jumped into bed, where I woke B.

He looked at me and went right back to sleep.

He's used to this kind of activity when I (rarely) have to be the one to turn off the lights.

The point is that I'm crazy, yes, but also that I don't get to be crazy in front of Peanut.

I'm going to have to master my poker face and figure out how to reassure him while my inner dialogue is screaming, take the child and run! Save your family! because really, that's just not cool.

But seriously, next time your are with someone late at night, I want you to look over their shoulder and gasp! with a terrified look on your face, or better yet, just gasp and run, perhaps dragging them with you. Make a mental note of that look on their face and you'll understand what I'm trying to avoid.

~Pictures were taken with my phone during nap time. I was washing the sheets, don't judge me. And seriously, don't kids look so angelic when they sleep? Even when they are sweaty and after a long meltdown, they look so darn sweet. Of course, then they wake up.

Keeping up with what's going on... and how I can't.

2013-02-17T21:16:00.004-08:00

Peanut does some internet research.

It seems that there is a certain trait in very successful and productive people.

It is the ability to know what is going on in their field of expertise or interest.

This elusive ability is well, elusive to me.
I seem to know just enough about what is going on to keep my head above water.
Perhaps it is that my interests, my goals and my jobs are spread just a bit to far apart.

It could be that while I'm in the middle of my quest for information that I spot something shiny.
I cannot control everything, you know.

I love listening to people in the restaurant industry, and those who write about it, that know which restaurants are opening up this week, which ones are closing and which ones are running that awesome special. They know the chefs and owners, product sources and partnerships. They go to restaurants, they chat, they gather information and they eat with abandon.

I'm amazed by bloggers who post constantly and write about other blogs, articles and internet finds in their discussions. It's so obvious that they spend time reading, researching and keeping up to date on their niche in the internet. They are kings and queens of their content creations.

I'm impressed by these powerful people managing online content, the printed word, restaurant divisions and businesses and then top it off by being partners, spouses and parents.

I love the authors and readers and bibliophiles who know which books are being released, authors names, illustrators best works, signings and events.

I'm in awe of people who get a homemade meal on the table most nights of the week. I bow down to you, your accomplishment is impressive and an applause is well deserved.

Peanut and I create our to do lists- I believe his makes more sense than mine

Perhaps it's that most of my time on the internet is spent involved in the small bubble of my own world or on Pinterest which, let's be honest, only adds to my to do list instead of checking things off.

It could be that I need to narrow down to a main focus or multi-task a little better or spend more time checking things off my list instead of adding them.

It might be that I've given up a lot of things to bury myself in a book most nights but hey, there are some things I'm not willing to change. You can take away a great many things but you cannot take away my book!

I woke up the other day with a sinking feeling that there was no way in the world I could catch up on my to do list for the day. I had to spend a few minutes re-working my mind to get into what I call "check off mode". I spent a minute writing things down that would done immediately so I could start off with a bang.

Go to the bathroom- check
Brush teeth- check
Get Peanut dressed- check
See, I can do this, I'm on a roll!
Get to work- check
Oh shit, did I go to the bank earlier? Write that down- cross it off- check.

This is how you get things done! Or maybe it isn't at all but I feel better already.

Helping Papa

2013-02-15T21:09:00.000-08:00

Not surprising to everyone who knows us, my dad has been doing a lot of work around the house.

In fact, whenever something is broken, from a toy to a plant, Peanut simply picks it up and declares, "Papa fix it" and walks away.

Nothing to worry about mom, Papa will take care of this.

Peanut has his own tool kit but always seems to manage finding the smallest sharpest screwdriver Papa brings over. It's a gift really, the gift of sorting through 100 tools that he's allowed to touch and finding the one he's not supposed to.

He is always helping....

as you can see.

He helps Papa mark the wall where the screws should go,

he helps hammer,

he helps you up the ladder...

I'm sure it's all very helpful.

I mean, you get things done twice as fast with a helper, right?

Papa is used to this kind of thing.

He once painted horizontal stripes across my entire bedroom

using just one hand all while holding me with the other.

And that was just a few years ago.

Rediscovering Harry Potter

2013-02-06T19:45:00.001-08:00

I spend roughly 2 hours a day in my car. Days that I'm off of work it's less, some days it's much more.

Sometimes we listen to music as I take Peanut to my parents.

Sometimes we chat about what we spot out the window as we drive by.

It's when I'm driving by myself that I get bored or tired or unfocused.

After hearing so much about the Harry Potter audio books by Jim Dale, I decided to pick one up.

I've read all the books but I haven't read them in years and years.

We watch the movies a lot.

I mean, at least once a week there is a Harry Potter movie on. At least.

*Let's take a quick detour and talk about the Chocolate Frog that my friend Courtney brought all the way back from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for B & I! I should have taken a picture of me holding it, so that you could see the box was the size of my hand. You have no idea how excited I was to get this. When she brought it to me, I sent a picture to B. He responded by saying not to open it until we're together because they only really have one good jump anyway.
Thank you Courtney and Allen for bringing us this!!

I'm not sure what I expected from the audio books.

It's hard to think of one person narrating books that you know so well.

Especially when you have such firmly established ideas of a characters sound and style.

30 minutes into the first book and I was enjoying the morning traffic.

I stopped thinking of Jim Dale as the narrator and started listening to all characters as they spoke.

I got so hooked that I started going to the library to get the next set of CDs before I finished the previous ones to guarantee I wouldn't have any lag time in between.

I listened to all 7 books almost non-stop.

Occasionally poor Peanut would remind me that we could listen to music and then we would.

These books sometimes had 23 different CDs to listen to and it just didn't seem enough.

106 hours.
106 hours and I wanted it to be more.

I discovered quite a few things in this listening experiment:

*Jim Dale is genius. His talent knows no bounds.

*I had forgotten so much of the books. After years of just watching the movies I was suddenly peeking back into this amazing magical world. So much of the story doesn't make it into the movies. I had forgotten so much of the original story that much of the audio books felt new to me.

*An hour in the car is nothing with Jim Dale to keep you company.

*I'm obsessed all over again. I try to wrap my mind around how a person can create such stories and it's nothing short of amazing. I want to completely immerse myself in this world.

*I'm also terribly sad that it's all over. Again.

I want more of the magic, more of the story, more of all of it.

I'm thinking that perhaps next year I'll re-read the books.

Are you a Harry Potter fan?
Have you read the books, listened to them or seen the movies?

Damn. Dammit. Shit.

2013-01-29T17:24:00.000-08:00

10 weeks, 1 day.

That's how long I carried this last little one.

We had the positive pregnancy test in the beginning of December and I felt really good about it.

I got those immediate, dark confirmation lines a few days before I was even due to miss my period.

I have the inability to ignore those pregnancy tests sitting under our sink and that was the last one.

I didn't even feel compelled to buy more, I already knew because of the total and complete exhaustion I felt that I was absolutely pregnant.

I put a Big Brother shirt on Peanut the next day and waited for daddy to notice what it said. We celebrated with more reserve then we would have before the first miscarriage. We'd feel better when we saw that little beating heart on the monitor during the first ultrasound. Still we were excited, despite my aversion to meat and my waves of nausea.

A day before the 8 week mark we sat in the doctors office. I shifted with a crunch, crunch as I sat on the paper-covered examining chair. I tried to cover my freezing legs with a sheet and ignore the nervousness I was suddenly feeling.

The midwife and trainee came in and chatted through the preliminary questions. They knew that after the last miscarriage I would be eager to get through this and tried their best to hurry. She commented on how fast my heart was beating and I gave a nervous laugh.

When the ultrasound started we all looked at it in silence. I couldn't see anything inside the yolk sack.

My mind flitted back to the first appointment with Peanut where at 6 1/2 weeks we saw the little flicker of his beating heart. I held my breath. Then we saw the little blip of the baby as they tried to maneuver the ultrasound wand to get a better view. The sack was measuring 7 only weeks and there wasn't a heartbeat yet. We were told that at this stage in development the heartbeat could show up any day. There was still a chance.

We walked out of the office in a silent daze. This was not how I had envisioned the visit going. B left for work and I headed to the lab to get my blood drawn. Over the next week we kept track of my steadily climbing HCG levels with great hope. The levels looked so good they bumped up the next appointment for an ultrasound.

A little over a week later we sat in the waiting room for far too long. It was the first time they had run late like this and B had to leave for work as I sat waiting in the examination room. As soon as the ultrasound started I knew it wasn't good. Although the baby looked a little bigger she still couldn't find a heartbeat. They sent me down for more blood work and an ultrasound in radiology where the machines are more sensitive. I spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for results from various tests and reading the same few pages of my book. The midwife cried with me when she told me that the baby didn't make it. There was no heartbeat, the yolk sack was an abnormal shape and despite the rising HCG levels the pregnancy had failed. She told me I had gone through too much in my young life and gave me my options.

I sobbed in the parking lot as I called B at work. Again. Here I am again, sitting in the parking lot, calling B at work to tell him that we lost the baby. Again. I sent a message to my mom to tell her and let her know that I would pick up Peanut later. I needed to go home and sleep, I was so tired all of a sudden. A little Taco Bell therapy and a nap. B came home early from work and we talked about moving forward. I felt better by the evening. I'd known for a week this was a possibility.

A week later at 10 weeks my body wasn't showing any signs of a natural miscarriage and I had decided not to wait on it. I looked at the prescription I had picked up and read the direction on how to take the medication. Insert both pills into your vagina 3 hours before surgery. I read the directions again. You see, the pills were the same ones I took during the last miscarriage only I had taken them ORALLY. These weren't suppositories, these were just plain ole pills and there was no applicator. I sent the doctor a message and called the nurse. "Are you sure? I stick these, up there, with my finger?", I asked. She assured me that the pills can be taken orally or vaginally. This is still odd to me. I mean, they couldn't make the same pill a little more vagina friendly? Who's with me? I assumed I could then ignore the part of the instructions that said the medicine should be taken with food. I hope.

The next day, after "taking my medicine" my mom took me to the surgery center after she came to pick up Peanut. B was heading in from work to pick me up. I sat in pre-op by myself and thought about how I could handle anything. I felt calm as I read my book and listened to the woman behind the curtain next to me. She was a nervous wreck and I felt bad for her. I sat calmly as the doctor asked 100 questions regarding my breast cancer diagnosis and then what vein I prefer he use for the IV. Doctors are always interested in my breast cancer history, it's seems like a fun learning case. I was impressed with the lidocaine numbing shot before the IV (wrist and hand IV's always hurt a bit) and the awesome heating contraption they hooked to my gown. I sat comfortably waiting for my turn in the OR. I reclined in my bed and slipped into the world described in my book.

2 hours later I realized the lidocaine had worn off when I could feel how uncomfortable the IV was. I had picked my favorite chemo spot, a nice vein in my wrist that usually didn't give me any trouble. Apparently the vein was tired and he had to go in a little higher. I sat with my hand hanging over the railing in hopes of relieving some of the pressure. I tried to pull the IV back slightly but the tape did it's job and made it impossible. I could feel the bruise forming. It makes me laugh that I feel I can do things like adjust my own IV because that just can't be a good idea.

That cool contraption that was heating my gown was starting to feel like a personal torture device. I tried to look around and follow the hose pumping in the hot air to it's source. There was no luck. I kept up a never-ending round of texts to my parents and B as I started to sweat. I sent pictures of my stocking feet as I waited in bed. I suspect that this is not normal behavior for a person but I blame blogging on my impulse to document everything. I kept eyeing the red button that calls the nurse.

Does sweating in your dressing down give you cause to push the red button hanging next to the bed? If I push the button are people going to come rushing in to save me? How long can I stand the heat? Is this for emergencies only? It was at this point specifically that I wished desperately that B was with me. Not because of the actual surgery or because of the emotional difficulty but because of the heat induced panic I was nearly in.

I envisioned them putting me on the operating table and talking about how they would need to wipe the sweat off my body before starting. Nobody wants to deal with a sweaty hoo hoo and so I quickly pushed the button and looked around anxiously. I'm sure I looked a lot like Peanut just after he's done something he knows he shouldn't. The nurse came in and pointed out a dial that would have apparently controlled the heat. This would have been good to know during the hour I sat in my own little piece of hell.

It was close to 2 pm and I hadn't had anything to eat since the night before. I tried to fan the sweat off my body. A few minutes later a nurse came in to take me to the OR. What is my name, when is my birthday, etc, etc. She asked me to confirm name of the procedure I was waiting on. Suddenly I couldn't remember what it was called. In my mind I recalled my mom calling it a "dusting and cleaning" and I laughed at the thought of repeating that to her. I'm here for a D&C and my voice sounded calm and easy. Everyone looked at me as if I might break down into tears but there is something very familiar to me about being at the doctor. I felt completely comfortable, even more so after the calming cocktail. A few minutes later, under the bright lights I took a few deep breaths and that was it.

When I woke up I saw the nurse pull out the mesh panties. I laughed at seeing them again before remembered the baby I was holding the last time I had to wear them. It was something about the damn mesh panties. We chit chatted and I found out that she had 4 boys, the youngest is 3 and I couldn't believe her energy. I'm always compelled to talk to my nurses and doctors and find out more about them. It might be habit from managing restaurants, that same social tendency to get to know people and make them feel comfortable. It might be a way for me to focus on things other than my nerves. Maybe I'm just nosey. My doctor is 36 and grew up in HB, he seemed slightly socially uncomfortable and I tried to give him encouraging smiles when he made eye contact. The anesthesiologist is also a comedian, the nurse prefers tea over coffee, these are things I remember.

B came in as they got me ready to head home. I hobbled inside our house and sat staring at the TV, clicking, clicking, clicking without seeing the pictures. I wondered why my doctor needed to give me 100 pills with a refill. I wondered how bad the pain would be. 600 mg ibuprofen and I still have Vicodin from the last miscarriage and I started thinking about the prescription drug problem in America. I'm pretty sure I came up with a few ways to save the world but I can't remember any of them anymore. I cried into B's chest before bed as I had a few days prior and went to sleep feeling closer to him then ever before.

The next day I felt a million times better. I had taken 2 pills. I cleaned house, organizing things that made life feel more in control. I thought about what the doctor had told us.

She reminded me that after rounds and rounds of chemo it affected my body in more permanent ways. At 33 years old my eggs were really in their 40's. I had thought the difficulty would be in getting pregnant but I suppose that for me the difficulty is in staying pregnant. 2 miscarriages in 6 months, almost to the day.

That was when I realized how lucky we are. We always new Peanut was a gift but I never appreciated him so much. We got pregnant with him so quickly that it seemed the threat of having chemo-fied eggs was over. Now we were reminded the truth and I felt a new rush of gratitude for having Peanut. If all else fails, if we never make it through another pregnancy, we have each other and we have Peanut and we have friends and family who love us and we will always be grateful for this world that we have.

Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I think about that pink-cheeked baby I thought I would be holding in August or the one I so briefly thought about holding in March and my arms twitch momentarily and I swallow the lump in my throat. But at this point, 5 days later, I mostly feel positive. I look forward to getting healthy, getting my body back in shape, getting my mind back in shape and spending some time with my family.

David Marano Photography

2013-01-23T21:28:00.003-08:00

Last year I really regretted not having family pictures done and swore that no matter what,

I would build it into the budget, carve out some time and make sure that I have photos that actually include all three of us at the same time.

I came across David Marano Photography when he offered a Living Social deal in March and redeemed it the day before Thanksgiving.

I know, can I possibly run any closer to the holiday card deadline?

This one picture made the entire shoot worthwhile.

I have so few pictures of the Peanut and I together and the look on his face and the sparkle in his eyes make me just melt.

I love the warmth in these pictures and would have loved to take more in the house but in order to get Peanut to cooperate I promised some play at the lake.

We walked down to the lake and tried to get Peanut to sit or stand still, next to mommy and daddy for a great deal of time.

It was quite exhausting by David didn't bat an eye.

He just snapped away.

Peanut really liked him and so there are quite a few interesting expressions caught on camera.

He was also able to snap a few pictures of us while making sure Peanut didn't take a running leap into the lake.

Falling leaves and piles to jump in make a very happy boy.

The smirk and the mischievous grin.

I can't even put into words how happy this shot makes me.

Tickles and giggles.

and sweetness.

David was mellow and so easy going that it was so much easier to be comfortable in front of the camera.

Despite all the photo sessions we've had, this always remains the hardest part for me.

However, when you are chasing after a 2 year old, I find it's hard to think about the camera or whether or not I have multiple chins and fat rolls showing.

In the end we have tons of perfect, real, family photos to remember the year by.

Instead of the little blurs that I've been getting,

I can actually look at these moments of love and laughter caught in perfect clarity.

We can't wait to use David again.

Oh and the personality and weirdness are all there.

Favorite Reads of 2012

2013-01-11T21:10:00.002-08:00

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.

-Author Unknown

I'm going to just into this post and try not to turn this post into a novel of it's own.

Here are my favorite reads of 2012:

Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
This lovely and haunting book is about a family grieving. They are grieving over the loss of an uncle, a brother and a lover but mostly over the loss of connection and of dreams. It's a tale of jealousy and love and what the results of both can be.

I don't want to say too much for fear of ruining it for you but I'm not sure that I could put my thoughts into the right words anyway.
Read this book.

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
This children's story, told by Ivan the gorilla would be a great family read.

Inspired by a real life gorilla named Ivan,
this touching story is about friends and family and what it means to help, love and protect each other.

This story will break your heart and then swiftly fill it again.

Insurgent by Veronica Roth
This is the second book in the Divergent Trilogy and I'm hesitant to say to much if you haven't read the first which I believe made my list last year.

We learn more about the characters in this book as they learn more about themselves and each other. The exploration of each faction is interesting and engaging as were the individuals that were so completely representative of their factions.
If you haven't read Divergent yet you'll need to start there.
(or apparently you can wait for the movie to come out as they just started casting for it)

The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease
I found this book at the bottom of a bag of clothes being passed to Peanut. It no doubt came from my sister-in-law who is a mother of 3 and an elementary school teacher.

This book is a fantastic resource for parents, teachers and librarians.
It discusses the importance of reading aloud to children (even past the age they start to read themselves) and the positive effects it has.
The book dives into silent reading, TV watching (and it's not all negative) and other reading-related issues as well.
The second half of the book is a reading treasury- a suggestion of books that are good to read aloud (as opposed to some that are better read silently). They are marked with grade level and descriptions.

This is probably the best parenting book I've read so far. It feels universal in that you don't have to be on board with a specific parenting style to appreciate it. Although, that could be because it's not actually a parenting book but an educational book.
Whatever it is, I'm glad I read it.

A Year of Writing Dangerously by Barbara Abercrombie
I wandered by this book in the library and picked it up, thinking it might have some good prompts for my blog. Instead I found so much more.
A day later I decided I wanted to be a writer and started to actually write.

The author and writing teacher creates the perfect balance of inspirational quotes, writing prompts, funny anecdotes, occasional coddling and a few good shoves that all equal the sudden urge or unavoidable deep need to write.

I just ordered this book because I need to have a copy at home.

And last but definitely not least:

Room by Emma Donoghue
This sat on my shelf for several months as I debated whether or not I was in the mood to read this story.
What I didn't understand, given the premise, was that this story could be sweet and loving and hopeful.

All told from the perspective and in the language of 5 year-old Jack, Room is his whole world.
He has spent every moment of his life in Room with his Ma.
What is a prison to her is just the world as he knows it.
I was in awe of these characters, the depth of a mother's love, the innocence of youth and the reality of living life outside of the box.

This book is stunning, haunting, innocent, tragic, full of love and so completely unique.

This may have been my favorite read of the year, perhaps because it was so unexpected but mostly because the story is still with me.

********
OTHER GREAT BOOKS I READ LAST YEAR:

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
I can't remember the last time I read a book so rich in imagery.
Dreamy, romantic, surreal.
I read this last April and am about to start the audiobook narrated by the great Jim Dale.
More on this book to come.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Just thinking about this book, the discussions about this book and the way people feel so vehemently about the characters and especially the ending.
This book made my skin crawl, it made me frustrated and nearly drove me crazy but I loved it.
I though the end was perfect. Everything about this book was toxic.
Toxic and wonderful.

If my dear mother-in-law is reading this.... you absolutely CANNOT read the end of this book ahead of time! Do not skip around! Do you hear me?!

The Maze Runner Series by James Dashner
I read the first book in 2011 and finished the series in 2012 although I've found there have been a few stories added as companions.
I enjoyed The Scorch Trials even more then The Maze Runner.
I found the environment much more intriguing and the story kept me on my toes.
Mostly though, it just brought an onslaught of unanswered questions.
The Death Cure wraps up the story with even more twists and turns.
I still have questions and see the opportunity for so many more stories but it didn't feel like a cliffhanger at all. I'd definitely read more from Dashner.

The Friday Harbor Series by Lisa Kleypas
I won the second book off Goodreads and ended up reading the entire series, with the exception of Crystal Cove which is released next month.
The first book is a simple and sweet introduction to this chick lit/romance series.
It was predictable but I didn't care at all because
I needed that sort of giggle-squeal-sigh sort of romance.

Although I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the subsequent novels even more.
Rainshadow Road and Dream Lake pick up a little bit of magical surrealism that fans of Sarah Addison Allen might enjoy. I'm looking forward to reading the next book.

Don't Breathe a Word by Jennifer McMahon
Eek! I don't want to spoil the book but I was totally wrapped up in this story.
Is it fantasy? Is it fiction? Is it mystery?
Will all this have a rational explanation or is this really a dark fairy story?
It kept me guessing until the very end.

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
What an interesting and somewhat haunting book. A tale of a boy whose mother is fighting cancer as he fights some monsters of his own.
A unique point of view and an interesting way of illustrating how different people cope with the illness of a loved one.

Update: I forgot to add these in my original post!
but I'm too short on time right now to expand on these.
More on these titles in the future,

What were your favorite reads of 2012?
Did you read any of the books I mentioned?
Are the any books I must read in 2013?

2012 Reading Challenge, 2013 Goals

2013-01-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it's a new year. This year was full of fun events both big and small and I'm proud to say that despite all the action I managed to meet and exceed my reading goal of 52 books.

As usual, I'd go weeks tearing through book after book and weeks where I didn't even pick one up.

The grand total for 2012.....*drumroll please*

63 books read!

According to Goodreads that is 21,817 pages.

And before you ask, I did not include the books I read to Peanut this year.

The Harry Potter books aren't included in my 6 books because I actually just listened to the audiobooks.
That is a post unto itself.
Let me just say that I ADORE Jim Dale.

The breakdown on the books this year:
Adult Fiction/Fantasy/Mystery: 13
YA: 15
Younger teen or Children's: 8
Historical Fiction: 3
Nonfiction: 5
Chick Lit/Romance: 15
Parenting: 3

I'm not opposed to reading any kind of genre and I feel very strongly about being comfortable with your book choices or preferences.

All reading is good reading.
I'm sure that plenty will disagree with me on that.
I'm just glad to read and glad other do as well.

Personally, I tend to go through phases where all I want is a little fluff.
Hence the Debbie Macomber marathon during Christmas.
I'd never even heard of her before, despite the fact she has published 327 books.

I'm also not embarassed to say I tore through the Fifty Shades series.
Although I must say that I hesitated to categorize it under "Romance" but I just didn't have a category for BDSM fantasy-fiction with an emphasis on terrible writing and high entertainment.

2013 READING CHALLENGE
I've signed into Goodreads again and hope for another 52 books this year.
My goals are to broaden my reading horizons,
catch up on all of the books I haven't read for The Bibliophile Support Group
and perhaps accept another book challenge through that group.

Coming soon.... my favorite picks of 2012.

The Christmas Party

2012-12-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

We're going to do a little Christmas re-cap around here.
I managed to post a whopping 3 times this month.

Anyone else feel like they just ran a Christmas marathon?
I'll agree it was a cheerful marathon with loads of fun stops along the way
but I'm ready for a looong nap.

As many of you know we do a lot of Christmas baking.

I used to start at the end of October to prepare for the Christmas party in the beginning of December.
I'd bake for about 5 weeks and then freeze the cookies as I go.

This year I was a little burnt after Peanut's Monster Halloween Birthday Party.

About 3 weeks before the party I realized I was a tad behind baking schedule....
so I procrastinated another week.

My mom did some baking and I did a few marathon days and all was well.
Who needs sleep anyway.

Santa made an appearance at the Christmas party this year!

Peanut was not excited.

He burst into tears and Papa had to take him into the back and it took 3 of us to calm him down.

Judging by the death grip that Mia has on mommy, she's not too thrilled either.

Along with all the hot food, mom had this great display.

Santa and Ben had a little game of chess.

According to Ben's rules, Santa always loses.

In addition to this grueling game, Ben had a great many questions for Santa in order to prove his authenticity.

Are you the real Santa?
You weren't the Santa I saw yesterday...
I didn't see your sleigh outside....
Where are the reindeer...

Peanut's not buying it either.

But all was proven well in the end.

Ben left a happy boy and Santa survived a killer game of chess and some brutal interrogation.

I was told that Peanut did throw the ball to Santa once at the end of the night but this is the closest I witnessed the two of them.

Peanut is still not so sure.

The Christmas Mugshot

2012-12-20T22:46:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas!

The boys are just overflowing with Christmas spirit.

Yup.

Big fans of Santa, these two.

Daniel's expression is the best.

In the other Santa picture, Peanut is making a run for it.

I'll try to upload that one next.

I will say that this picture is a big improvement over last year's picture.

This is still my favorite Santa picture to date.

Well, it'll be another whole year until we get to traumatize the kids with an annual Santa picture.

Until then!

Discovery Science Center Giveaway!

2012-12-08T21:02:00.001-08:00

If you've been to the Discovery Science Center before then you know just how fun it is and if you've never been.... well here is your chance to go!

The giant cube you've seen off the 5 freeway is host to so many awesome exhibits for kids of all ages.

In addition to the EcoChallenge, Dino Quest Adventure, Discover Theater, Science of Hockey, Boeing Rocket Lab and Planetary Research Station there are also rotating exhibits throughout the year.

Right now you can visit Bob the Builder's Workshop and meet all his friends as you lend them a helping hand.

Explore the Indiana Jones and the Adventure of Archaeology exhibit where you see a collection from the films and real-world artifacts from the National Geographic Society.

Dig for buried treasure and go on your own quest too!

Last but definitely not least, and perfect for the holidays, is The Science of Gingerbread where you can tour the Annual Gingerbread Competition entries, learn the science behind smelling and build and race your own candy car in the Gingerbread Derby!

The Discovery Science Center is hosting an exclusive holiday event this Wednesday

and they are giving me tickets so you can come too!

It's going to be full of fun activities, a picture with santa and lots of exploration.

It'll be such a treat to bring your family to this outing.

For a chance to win these

4 TICKETS TO THE EXCLUSIVE HOLIDAY EVENT

ON WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12 FROM 6-8PM

Please:

- Leave a comment

- blog, tweet or post on Facebook about this giveaway

- follow my blog

- like Discovery Science Center on Facebook (found as Discovery Cube)

Please leave a separate entry for each.

Good Luck!!

And there are trees!

2012-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

By Orange County standards we live pretty far out.

Growing up, I considered any city that didn't have at least one border on the beach "inland".

Of course, when I was growing up the city I now live in didn't even exist.

Now we live in South County aaaallll the way to the East in what I call "the country".

I call it the country because (and I can hardly still believe this) there is nothing but nature on the other side of our neighborhood.

We back up to and are walking distance from O'Neil Regional Park and when you look at a map,

you'll see that next to us is nothing but green.

And there are trees!

I mean, trees everywhere!

They line our streets and they are gorgeous and the neighborhoods are beautiful.

We can see the mountains from our windows.

We are a few minutes walk from this lake.

We leave the house, walk past the elementary school and find this waiting for us.

It is man-made and there is no swimming in it but it's such a perfect one mile loop.

I'll be sure and take some pictures of the lake with the mountains in the background.

I'd take pictures of the Peanut at the lake but it's hard to hold a camera and keep him from jumping in at the same time.

It's a breathe of fresh air every time we go for a walk around the neighborhood.

Where do you go to recharge?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2012-11-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

We are thankful for way too many things to list today.

Our cups are overflowing.

I'm so happy I could burst.

Which will match nicely with the top button of my pants around 7 pm tonight.

DIY Fall Felt Play Board

2012-11-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

I'd been seeing all these awesome felt Christmas trees on Pinterest

and it hit me that we could (and probably will) do something similar for all the seasons.

I don't have many fall decorations, I adore trees and

I knew Peanut would like this so it's a win for everyone.

I took a yard of felt and held it up next to Peanut, took note of how high he could reach and cut the felt off there. I couldn't find chalk anywhere so I sketched on the fabric with yellow highlighter.

I don't suggest it. :) It was hard to see and I kept drawing it over so in the end I just sort of ended cutting branches as I went.

The beauty of felt (and hot glue) is that you can do these in pieces if you need to, or you can add on if you want. I had to do the tree in two pieces but you barely notice.

Of course, it can be as simple or as intricate as you want.

After you have the base of the tree cut, position it on your large felt panel and hot glue it down.

I suggest starting from the bottom and working your way up and doing so by starting at the trunk and working your way to the tip of you branches, smoothing as you go.

This prevents wrinkles in your felt.

I glued a nice little knot hole over the seem in the middle.

If you can, try to time the project during a visit from your family so you can have everyone help cut your fall leaves out.

I printed a maple leaf template off the internet and drew a second smaller leaf.

My in-laws and niece cut out leaves in a variety of fall colors.

Ta da!

A fall felt play panel that is also a pretty decoration and will keep the Peanut busy while I get something truly worth while done... like read a book or pin more projects or eat chocolate.

He thinks it's especially hilarious when he tries to put a bunch up
and half of them go falling to the floor.

Only these fall leaves make a much nicer pile on the living room floor.

When fall is over you could roll it up and pack it away for next year
or you could set it aside and cut out some leaves in lovely greens and yellows for spring!

Shoot, you could even do snowflakes for winter and don't even get me started on other things like acorns, birds, owls, bats, spiders, webs, swings, blossoms.... oh the possibilities are endless for a variety of holidays and situations!

Peanut's 2nd Birthday!

2012-11-13T21:56:00.001-08:00

A few weeks have gone by and I still feel like this picture

is an accurate portrayal of Peanut's 2nd Birthday.

It pretty much flew by in one big happy blur.

We did a Halloween costume party (which I will continue until he one day decides he wants a birthday that has nothing to do with Halloween) with an emphasis on monsters.

With the help of my craft slaves (thank you mom, dad and B) we created a "Monster Adoption Center" with felt monster plushies, each unique and complete with adoption papers to be filled out by our guests! Kids decorated gift bags to take their monster's home in.

And then monster Peanut chased Pirate Daniel through the backyard and into the house.

Can you see Pirate Daniel screaming?

We had a kids table set up with the awesome mummy juice boxes that my mom and dad created.

Actually, they did everything except for the cupcakes and the pulled pork.

So before you all start asking how I do it all, I'd like to put it on record that I don't.

And then Monster Peanut chased Pirate Daniel down the hall and back out into the backyard.

Mom put together a nice display of both creepy and cute treats.

Everything tasted amazing but some people were a little freaked out by the eyeballs and spiders.

I attempted to take a picture of the two of them together which was such a joke.

Boys! Boys! Pay attention!

This was a fluke but it totally made me laugh when I was sorting pictures.

The top right shows the adult food buffet but lets be honest, the kids always eat the adult food and vice versa. B made some super fantastic pulled pork.

The dessert table was stocked with these unique and handcrafted monster cupcakes as well as suckers and cookies! You know I love a good dessert table.

My favorite part by far is getting to see all the kids in their costumes!

Super Jake up top is in a homemade costume which I am super impressed with.

Baby Conner! Remember my great-nephew that was born super early?

This is the same child, can you believe it?!

Time for cake which thankfully no one ate because seriously, how toxic does that frosting look?

Next year he either gets a homemade one or a large cupcake.

Then Evan had to jump on B's lap and practice for his birthday the following week.

Pirate Daniel and Peanut apparently found some treasure, dragged it to the other end of the backyard and dug in.

I see you two!!

This is soooo Peanut.

In the midst of everything, with all these kids clamoring to open his presents and see whats in the next box, Peanut is going to sit and very leisurely browse this book.

Love that kid.

Finally the big surprise.

Peanut's First Bike!!!

We got him a push bike and his little face lit up when he saw it.
He's still just a tad too small for it but he'll be perfect for it soon enough.

I don't know who was more excited... Peanut or daddy.

I don't have many pictures of me in them but I feel like this particular monster lantern shows exactly how I felt after the party.

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, for joining in the party and for loving our Peanut so much. It was a blast.

But seriously, don't ask me about next years party until at least September, OK?

Monster Cupcakes

2012-11-03T21:59:00.001-07:00

You know how I feel about dessert tables
and I couldn't very well have a Monster Party without Monster Cupcakes!

I baked off 3 different types of cupcakes
and whipped up a bunch of buttercream frosting,
colored it with Wilton food coloring
and covered them in frosting.

My friend Kelly immediately started in on the decorating.

Before she came over I collected a bunch of candy as well as Wilton's candy eyes that my mom got from Michaels and I got from Target.

We had some pictures for inspiration as a jumping off point.

The monsters were bright and colorful and super fun to decorate.

I think the kids (and the adults) loved them.

We used things like marshmallows, sour strips, black frosting,
dum dums, m&ms, peach rings, chewy lifesavers, jelly fruit slices
and good 'n fruity candies for all the faces.

Some scissors, frosting and a lot of creativity and we had a whole mess of monsters!

I think these are most of them... every single one of them different of course.

Happy Halloween!

2012-10-31T13:13:00.003-07:00

We've been practicing levitation all week to get this picture.

I kept telling B and Peanut "It's Leviooosa not Leviosar"

I swear, they were going to poke someone's eye out.

Anyway, our little monster is now 2 years old!

~sigh~

It certainly feels like two around here. Ha!

I bought balloons at 10:30 pm last night (in a fairly busy Party City, I might add)

so that they were all around the room downstairs and over the train table we set up last night.

We've had the train table for a while, compliments of my friend Kelly, but had never gotten around to laying down the tracks.

He was sooo excited this morning!

Talking up a storm about all his fun stuff.

2 years old, I can hardly believe it.

I vaguely remember that new baby smell.
He has so much personality and he's just so much fun,
I'm loving this age despite the streaks of crazy stubborn independence :)

Happy Birthday Peanut!

I hope everyone has a great Halloween and all you East Coasters are safe and sound!

Wingardium Leviosa... Wingardium Leviosa...Wingardium Leviosa

Adopt a Moster!

2012-10-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at Peanut's 2nd birthday party and I'll be sorting through the 200 pictures I took (half of which are blurs of children running by) to show you the party.

It wasn't enough that the party is a Halloween costume party.

We decided that we were going to run a monster theme through the party as well.

I'll be totally honest with you.

We decided this year's theme before Peanut's first birthday party.

I think originally I was looking at Ugly Dolls and decided I could make them myself.

You see, this picture was taken August 12, 2011.

2011.

We were going to do monsters for his first birthday so I started drawing out some monster shapes.

My dad cut out all the monster shapes on various pieces of felt I purchased.

The day after he finished cutting them all out, my mom suggested that we do pumpkins instead.

It was going to be faster to sew a bunch of pumpkins for Peanut's Pumpkin Patch

and let the kids take one home as a favor so we went with that idea.

Meanwhile, I got this one monster's face finished and packed it all away.

My mom reminded me that I would have the entire year to finish the monsters!

A whole year to work on this project so that I wouldn't be rushed.

And then life happened.

And then it was 3 weeks until the party and I procrastinated some more.

And then it was 2 weeks before the party.

Even though my mom reminded me weekly for months.

And then we spent 2 weeks feverishly sewing up monsters.

I did all the faces and mom helped me stitch and stuff.

The result was 22 completely individual monsters!

To be completely honest I had a lot of fun doing these.

I tend to get hung up on the details and I could have worked on these forever.

The hand stitching around the edge was a bit tedious at first because you can only do so many in a sitting but my mom was powering right through them.

I got these awesome Monster Adoption Certificates on Etsy (Here) so all the kids could pick out there new monster and fill out their certificate.

I've been told that some of them are taking their adoption very seriously.

One little girl was overheard whispering to her monster that she'll be taking good care of him.

Of course, one little boy was seen using his monster to play zombie and eat the other stuffed animals.

I hope his monster is carnivorous.... and well stitched.

We displayed the monsters on a table for the kids to pick from.

So here are the details.

We used felt from the fabric store (not the crafters felt you buy in squares) and after buying some for super cheap from Joann's, I'm realizing my original stuff is much softer.

Anyhow, I used a standard size piece of paper and folded it in half (going either direction) to draw half a monster with the fold in the middle. Remember doing hearts like that in school?

It's a monster so it doesn't really have to be symmetrical but I like them that way.

I cut the paper monster out and my dad used it as a template on the felt.

You can draw it directly onto the felt, just make sure you turn them so the marked part will be sewed onto the inside.

He cut 2 pieces of felt at a time to make sure that the front and back were even.

I then started to make the faces. For the eyes I traced a water bottle cap and gift tag for different sizes, hot glued them on, leaving a space of no glue in the center so I could sew on a black button.

The mouths are sewn with embroidery floss (same as the button) and the teeth were made from the scrap pieces left when cutting out circles. Some of the monsters have additional felt pieces like a mustache or lone eyebrow that are adhered with hot glue.

The possibilities are endless! Just think about all the cute things you could do!

They were sealed up by hand stitching them along the edge with a running stitch, that looks like dashes, or a whip stitch that loops around the edge. They are stuffed with basic polyester stuffing.

It went pretty smoothly.

I found that the dark material needs to have a light background for the face as the black doesn't stand out and that some extremities are hard to stuff without the aid of a chopstick.

I think you have to do these things to learn the easiest way.

I will definitely be doing more of these types of projects.

I'm thinking maybe some Christmas plushies next.

Stay tuned for a post on Monster cupcakes and more on the party!