Spoonful of Justice!

Attack of the Klowns Part 13 (Ava & Lauren)

2015-03-10T00:43:00.002-07:00

we should stall Sven mouthed to Dor.

what mouthed Dor to Sven.

STALL mouthed Sven to Dor.

how? mouthed Dor to Sven.

What? mouthed Sven to Dor.

"HOW SHOULD I STALL?" Dor accidently yelled.

Sven major facepalmed.

Xanthony was offended.

"If you want to be decent then I could cover my ears while you reject and abandon me with the wound you gave me before I decided to save all your lives," he offered sarcastically.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Sven explained "I don't mind being indecent."

"WELL I DO." boomed Dor. "and I could use an extra hand around the prison." he added in a lower voice.

"Prison?" asked Xanthony, squinting his eyes in a confused way that meant he didn't understand what Dor was saying.

"INDEED." Dor thundered, noticing the confusion in the confused akrobats squint. "MINE OWN BROTHER REQUIRES A JAILER AND VOLUNTEERS HAVE BEEN VERY...UNPLENTIFUL...LY...?"

"What are you... are you- are you offering me a job?" asked Xanthony incredulously "working for your brother who runs a prison?"

Dor roared a laugh "Poki, man! He is the evilest villain in the heavens. He needs a jailer."

"But, but - " said Sven. "What about familial reconciliation? He can't just run away from his problems."

"Says who?" said Xanthony. "I'm in, so long as you've got a doctor in that... um, prison.

"Of course," said Dor. "We have the finest doctors ancient Greece has to offer."

"Wait - ancient Greece?" said Xanthony, just as Dor raised his mystic umbrella and opened a portal which Xanthony promptly flew through.

"Cool, so can we come back on the ship now?" asked Sven.

"I guess so," said Xidorn. They flew back to earth. Things were pretty cool now between them all.

"So, who's your friend, Ben?" asked Sven.

"My name is -" said the girl.

"Landing on earth," said the computer.

"Dude," said Ben. "Nicole is waiting for me down in the circus."

He turned an elaborate shade of ornamental cream.

"Do you hear that, Ben?" asked Sven.

"Hear what? What do you hear?"

"Wedding bells."

Will Ben be forced to go through with his marriage to Nicole? Will Sven find out what's up with that Thumbtack guy? Will Lauren and Ava ever pick this story back up or will it languish on the internet until the end of time due to their concerns about the legality of this parody? Find out next time when the story continues with "King of Crime, Part I"

Epic poster is Epic

2013-07-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

All your favorite characters, brought to you by Spidophile

Attack of the Klowns: Part 12 (Lauren)

2013-07-08T16:06:00.000-07:00

When we last left our heroes, they had rescued the human prisoners and now await their escape vehicle via the friendly aliens.

There was a whoosh as the Akrobat's teleporter appeared in the landing bay.


"All aboard!" cried Xidorn. 

The girl, the test subjects, Ben, Dor, Xanthony, and Sven raced for the exit, just as a group of Klowns came around the corner. 

"You will never escape!" cried Dr. Greg. 

Sven stopped, turned toward the Klowns, and raised his arm.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

re-do of illustration for The Ball Part 15

2012-12-24T18:37:00.002-08:00

The Ball Part 15

Doodle of Sven

2012-12-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

Doodle of Sven:

-Spidophile

SPOON SUIT MAN alternate opening.

2012-10-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

The original opening for the Spoon Suit Man describes in an unlikely reason for why Clementine feels he cannot kill Sven, although he must...

When we last left our hero, he was being chased by his arch foe, the Clementine. The question we left you with was: Will Spoon Suit Man be able to survive the barrage of orange seeds and deadly missiles being hurled at him? If your answer was “Of course!” you would be correct. For the one the thing that the Clementine always forgets is that “the Spoon Suit is mightier than the orange!”

Spoon Suit Man: Alright, Clementine. Time for a Spoonful of Justice! TM

The Clementine: I don’t think so!

Spoon Suit Man: Oh, really? Well, that’s too bad. Cause I do! (launches spoon missile at Clementine)

Clementine launches orange bomb and blows up spoon suit man. Spoon suit man’s last words were: AHHHHHH!

Clementine then realizes that the radiation from the bomb that destroyed spoon suit man will give him cancer. Clementine dies of cancer and peace is restored to the city.

The next day the mayor makes a speech is memory of spoon suit man. However, some guy doesn't want to be reminded that his hero is dead and throws an orange bomb that Clementine had left in the street at the mayor.
The mayor and lots of other nameless people are killed in the explosion and all the other people including Some Guy get cancer and die.
All the remaining people are forced out of their homes because buildings need to be cleared away to make room for the bodies.
The people live in small, cramped buildings and contagious diseases start going around.
The people in the small cramped buildings die of disease and starvation and any survivors flee the country.
But the diseases are still all over their belongings that they brought with them and people get sicker and sicker and die. Eventually the population of earth is reduced to just a handful of people who developed immunity to the disease.
But a hurricane comes up and the handful is not warned of it because all the weathermen are dead.
The Handful die and with them all human life on earth. So the dogs and the monkeys fight for superiority, each claiming that they are smarter.
The dogs and monkeys kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the cats and the snakes fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The cats and the snakes kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the birds and the fish fight for superiority, each claiming that they are smarter. The fish and birds kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the bugs and the mice fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The bugs and the mice kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the germs and the bacteria fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The germs and the bacteria kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the molecules and the atoms fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The molecules and the atoms kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
Galactus and the Silver Surfer mistake earth for an uninhabited planet as there is clearly no life on it. Earth is consumed.
Now there is just a bunch of dust floating around the solar system. Now do you realize how important Spoon Suit Man is?

Clementine awoke with a groan. "I cannot kill Spoon Suit Man!" he moaned, "But I must! I hate him! I hate him!" Suddenly, a lightbulb went on above Clementine's head.

"That's it!" he snickered evilly. "Everyone knows the only way to kill a spoon... is to -"

He laughed wickedly, overcome with the genius of his brilliant plan.\

That was edited for length.

More Spoon Suit Man is on the way! Don't lose hope, O faithful ones!

So sorry

2012-06-23T16:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry there has been no new episode and no warning. Our rigorous writers have the flu and are so behind on the story. On the bright side of things, you can catch up on all those posts you haven't had the time to read!

Attack of the Klowns: Part 12 (Spidophile)

2012-06-05T17:11:00.002-07:00

When we last left out hero, he had found Ben and his new friend. Dr. Anthony was revealed to be an Akrobat, but as he is wounded Sven has to face Dr. Murray who is approaching him with his lethal guitar.

Thinking quickly, Sven yanked a a chunk of armor from his thigh and unfolded into a spoon-shaped electric guitar. Dr Murray scowled. Sven scowled. The camera zoomed in on Dr. Murray's face. The camera zoomed in on Sven's face. Extreme close-up on Dr Murray's eyes. Extreme close-up on Sven's eyes. They both began strumming their guitars as fast as they could. Dr Murray bent over so far that his head touched the floor. Sven tried to shake his hair back and forth but instead banged his head on his helmet. Holding his head in one hand and strumming the guitar with the other, he began to sing in falsetto at the top of his voice.

"Oooooooh, play your guitar with Murray! Play your guitar with him! Play your guitar with Murray! Let's all play and sing!"

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 11 (Lauren)

2012-05-31T09:43:00.001-07:00

When we last left our hero, had reached the door where his cousin sidekick, Ben, was being held captive.

He was about to knock when he heard the familiar sound of Ben's voice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sven kicked the door open and rushed inside.

Ben was sitting on an operating table. Beside him was a teenage girl wearing glasses. She turned around and assumed the Iron Fist pose. Then she dropped it.

"Spoon Suit Man!" she gasped.

"Sven!" yelled Ben.

"I - I - it's - it's a pleasure to m-meet you," said the girl. "Can I - can I -"

"Have my autograph?" said Sven. "Sure."

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attention, Loyal Readers!

2012-04-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

This blog will be under construction (revamping and remodeling) until May 31st. The regularly scheduled posts will resume then.

Until then, feel free to browse the archives.

- Lauren

Attack of the Klowns: Part 10 (Spidophile)

2012-04-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

When we last left our hero, his sidekick had been kidnapped and experimented on by evil aliens called Klowns. Our courageous blond hero teamed up with ... aw, just read it!

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Ben was still unconscious. So we'll go back to His courageous rescuers, who were at this moment watching Dr. Jeff enter the code to unlock the door to the holding cells. Progress was slow because every time Jeff typed a number on the keypad he would let out a yawn, and fall asleep. Dor cracked him over the head with his umbrella.

"Aug!" cried the Alien. "What in Sydney was that for?"

"Thou wast having a nightmare." lied Dor quickly.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 9 (Lauren)

2012-04-03T14:54:00.002-07:00

When we last left our hero, he had come up with a plan to invade the ship, rescue the hostages, and erase the minds of the aliens. - Lauren

"All right, Dor, let's do this!" said Sven.

"Aye!" said Dor. "Release us onto that vile ship!"

"Be careful," said Xidorn as he opened the chute that would take them into space.

"Bye boys! Have fun storming the Klown ship!" said Xenia.

"You think they can do it?" asked Xidorn as Sven and Dor were shot out into space.

"It will take two Akrobats, two highly advanced personal computers, and two heroes," said Xenia. "At least."

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 8 (Spidophile)

2012-03-29T11:35:00.005-07:00

When we last left our hero, he had enlisted the help of Dor to aid him in the rescue of his sidekick and cousin from the clutches of evil aliens. - Lauren

After they cleared the atmosphere, Sven explained to Dor about the Klowns and the Akrobats. After he finished, he remembered that there was no sound in space. After they were inside the Akrobat ship, he explained it again. After that, the real planning began.

"What's the plan?" asked Sven to Dor, Xenia and Xidorn collectively.

"We storm their vessel of evil and crush all in our path!" roared Dor, demonstrating with his umbrella so they all had to duck to avoid being flattened.

"I like it." Xidorn stood up. "Simple, easy to remember."

"Except they outnumber us forty-to-one." Xenia pointed out.

"We could use stealth." Sven suggested. "Slip in, grab stuff, slip out."

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 7 (Lauren)

2012-03-27T10:55:00.006-07:00

When we last left our hero, he had made a deal with an alien species called the Akrobats to help them defeat the evil alien race: The Klowns.

Meanwhile, back on the Klown's spaceship, Ben was undergoing the most rigorous test of his life.

"What is 10 + the square root of 4?" asked Doctor Murray.

"Um.... 9?" asked Ben.

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "The answer is twelve. If someone took your wallet away from you, how would that make you feel?"

"Ummm.... Sad?"

"Incorrect. The answer is angry. What does this look like to you?"

Doctor Murray held up a piece of paper with a picture of Spider-man on it.

"Ummm... That's Spider-man."

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "This is a piece of paper. Last question."

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 6 (Spidophile)

2012-03-22T11:26:00.003-07:00

When we last left our hero, he had heard the news that Ben had been abducted by aliens.

Meanwhile, Back at the ranch, (or should I say earth), Sven arrived on the scene of the circus tent. Nicole bounded toward him.

"Svenny!" she threw her arms around his neck and burst into fresh tears. Sven awkwardly patted her on the back. She broke away from him.

"Oh, Svenny! So Benny and I were like going to the circus and I hugged him at the bus station and he like said you're choking me and I laughed and said oh Benny you're so funny and then we got to the circus and he was like that's not how it's spelled and I said that it was like crispy cream and then there was cotton candy that like looked totally like vomit  and the popcorn was totally like purple and like this game where you whack a little horse with like this big hammer and like this big clown came and gave him a yellow balloon and he gave me a green balloon and there was also like a green lion and Benny was scared of it and I told him that it was a vegetarian and then we went up into the big top and Ben said it was to high and then like the show started and there were these clowns and they were giving out balloons and then they like took these poles and I thought they were going to do pole salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and they hit the poles against each other and there was like lightning everywhere and they hit the people with like yellow balloons and made them disappear and then Benny like asked for a safety pin but all I had was a scimitar and so the lightning hit him and now he's GONE! BOOHOOHOOHOOHOOO!"

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 5 (Lauren)

2012-03-20T12:57:00.006-07:00

When we last left our sidekick, he had been abducted by clown-like aliens. - Lauren

When Ben awoke (yes, he had fainted) he found himself laying on a smooth, clean, cold floor.

He groggily sat up. The yellow balloon was still tied to his wrist.

"I feel groggy," he said.

A teenage girl wearing glasses who sat beside him (and also had a yellow balloon tied to her wrist) turned to him.

"I'm so glad you're awake," she said. "Do you think they're Skrulls?"

"You mean like the paper scrolls or like Marvel Skrulls?"

She laughed. 

"Marvel Skrulls, silly!"

Ben thought the way she said "silly" sounded much better than it did coming from Nicole.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Apologies...

2012-03-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

We apologize for the lack of an episode today. Out posting schedule is a little bit off, so the next installment will be on Tuesday.

-Spidophile

Attack of the Klowns: Part 4 (Spidophile)

2012-03-13T14:34:00.002-07:00

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had gone on a date with his fiancee Nicole Soapdish. The circus they had gone to was extremely odd, however, and the seats at the top that Nicole had chosen were extremely high up. - Lauren

Once they had taken their seats at the very top, Ben began to feel altitude sickness. Nicole seemed just fine.

"Benny, look at what that guy's doing!" she squealed and pointed down toward the tiny ring.

"Yes, wow, amazing." said Ben, not looking down. With my luck, he thought, He'll have a hypnotic hat.

"Clowns!" shrieked Nicole delightedly. Despite himself, Ben looked down.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 3 (Lauren)

2012-03-08T14:47:00.001-08:00

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had just been rescued from dire straits by a mysterious heroine in white. - Lauren

"Ben, are you okay?" said Sven.

Ben whirled around. Sven stood there with his arms full of groceries.

"Sven," moaned Ben. "Nicole wants to go to the circus with me." 

"That's nice," said Sven. "You two should get to know each other better." 

"Sven!" moaned Ben. 

"Tell me when to rent my tux," said Sven, and he continued walking down the street. 

"Sven..." said Ben, running after him. 

"That's my name, don't overuse it," said Sven.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 2 (Spidophile)

2012-03-06T14:09:00.004-08:00

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had been forced into a circus date with his fiancee, Nicole Soapdish, and had just got a knock on the door. - Lauren

"What?" said Ben, opening the door. "Oh, hey Frank-the-delivery-guy."


"Package for you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"This must be my new jacket!" gasped Ben excitedly. "Thanks, Frank-the-delivery-guy!"

"I need you to sign here." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Oh, of course, Frank-the-delivery-guy ." Ben signed the paper.

"Okay, Thank you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Bye, Frank-the-delivery-guy!" called Ben as Frank-the-delivery-guy walked away. 

"My name is Fred!" called Fred-the-delivery-guy dully.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Attack of the Klowns: Part 1 (Lauren)

2012-03-01T13:10:00.004-08:00

New Spork City Media presents... Killer Klowns From Outer Space!


They're aliens! They're clowns! They're the killer Klowns!

Ben rolled his eyes.

"Television is so unrealistic today," he muttered to no one in particular. It was Monday morning, and he was sprawled on the couch in front of his TV in his tiny, dingy apartment watching the syfy channel.

He almost fell off his couch reaching for the remote to change the channel. His mission accomplished, he flipped to a different channel.

P-p-p-p-pandora! P-p-p-p-pandora! Pandora-dora-dora brave explorer!

"Ooh, I love this show!" squealed Ben.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Spidophile has a BLOG!

2012-02-29T12:39:00.001-08:00

Attention! Spidophile has a Blog! It can be found at:

Strictlyspidophile.blogspot.com

Apologies for lack of illo's lately. Thank you to all our followers, readers, and commenters!

The Ball: Part 15 (Lauren)

2012-02-28T13:38:00.002-08:00

When we last left our hero, he had a long day. A ball, a date, and an epic battle between good and evil, all on a Saturday night. - Lauren

"Cassandra," said Sven, "it's been a wonderful night and all, but I think I should be getting home."

"What's wrong, Sven?" asked Cassandra. "Were you seriously wounded and now you're  going home to work on the cure but you won't find it in time and your last thought will have been that you wished you could see my face one last time?"

"What?" said Sven.

"Nothing," said Cassandra quickly.

"No, it's just that I don't want to wear this costume anymore."

"Ben needs a ride home."

Sven glanced over at Ben's prostrate form. 

"Why doesn't his fiancée give him a ride?" smirked Sven.

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...

Cap'n Cino Theme

2012-02-24T12:31:00.003-08:00

There's a new theme song on the NewSporkCityHeroes channel!

Check it out:

The Ball: Part 14 (Spidophile)

2012-02-23T13:37:00.002-08:00

(Click here to read The Ball from the beginning)

When we last left our hero, he had come face to face with the powerful supervillain who had just informed Sven that his name was Echo. - Lauren

"Neva hoid of him," said Sven, quoting his Second Favorite Musical of All Time. The shadowy figure glided closer to Sven.

"Echo, as in a man so wicked that he was consumed by his own sin and forced to live in the agony of tortured souls as an echo of human life."

"Really?" breathed Sven.

"No, but that's what most people think."

"Why do you call yourself Echo, then?"

"Irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that you have let my mortal enemies fight the scabbed one and the minions, foolishly choosing to face me yourself."

"Who's the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"

"That's a ridiculous question. Let's just say that if you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

Read on, loyal readers! Click here...