I was 8-5 last week with my picks.  Not bad for a guy who does not wear a paper bag over his head.  Once again I guarantee you these are all 100% locks, unless they’re not.

Packers (-9.5) at Buccaneers

The battle of the bays won’t be much of a battle.  Green Bay is slightly better than mediocre and Tampa is “drown yourself in your bathtub” bad.  Don’t fall into the trap thinking Tampa is due.  The only thing they’re due for is a 1-15 season.  Green Bay and the points.

Bengals (+2.5) vs Ravens

I’m having a hard time justifying this pick to myself, let alone my adoring public.  I have a gut feeling that the Ravens will fall flat after demolishing the previously unbeaten Broncos last week.  Plus, I love me a home underdog.

Jaguars (-6.5) vs Chiefs

The Jags look kinda tough one week and horrible the next.  The Chiefs look awful every week and have players trying to jump ship left and right.  If the bad Jags show up, this might be close for a while, but have faith that the Chiefs will fall apart in the end to the tune of at least one TD.

Falcons (-10.5) vs Redskins

I really thought Washington would at least start to turn things around by now, but it hasn’t happened and now I’m not sure it’s going to.  The Falcons gave the Saints all they could handle last week and should overwhelm Dan Snyder’s bunch of high-priced underachievers.

Bears (-2.5) vs Cardinals

Chicago is generally unbeatable at Soldier Field, though the Cards are 3-0 on the road this year.  I have no evidence to back this up, but I just wouldn’t trust Arizona in this game.

Patriots (-10.5) vs Dolphins

Miami can’t throw the ball at all anymore.  And while I love that they’re basically running the option for a full third of their snaps, I just can’t see them getting that scam over on the Pats, aging as they are.  Hobo Bellichick romps.

Texans (+9.5) at Colts

Indy has been flirting with disaster of late and I think the Texans might be able to score enough to get under that 9.5 point spread, but not necessarily win.  Andre Johnson > you

Saints (-14.5) vs Panthers

I hate this pick, but it’s impossible to go against the Saints right now.  Carolina is getting healthier, and while they still can’t really throw, the combo of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathon Stewart in the backfield is pretty nasty.  New Orleans though is the new hotness and pretty much score at will, so I’m riding that train until it derails completely.

Lions (+10.5) at Seahawks

The Lions have been playing a little better lately and I’m of the opinion that Seattle is really, really terrible.  This is a game I wouldn’t touch with a 20-foot poll, even if my kid was playing in it.  Take the Lions to cover, so long as Matthew Stafford and Calvin “Megatron” Johnson are available to play.

49ers (-3.5) vs Titans

This is strictly a home team pick.  The Titans have been pretty terrible this year (save last week) and the Niners finally have Frank Gore healthy, Michael Crabtree available, and former overall No. 1 pick, Alex Smith in the lineup.  They’re going vertical and there’s nothing the Titans can do to stop them.

Giants (-4.5) vs Chargers

I got burned on the Giants last week, so I’m a little shy on this one.  However, I still don’t think the Chargers can be trusted, especially on the road.

Eagles (-3.5) vs Cowboys

The Eagles seem like they’re perfectly capable of running the ball, but just flat out refuse to do it, even when they’re ahead.  That’s completely unrelated to my pick here, but I thought I needed to say it.  Take Philly at home, as I’d like to see the Cowboys struggle and have their stupid QB/WR/Owner soap opera get ugly.

Steelers (-2.5) at Broncos

I’m not at all thrilled about this pick either.  The Broncos tend to play the Steelers very tough and with Ryan Clark out, centerfield will be patrolled by Tyrone “Sawed Off” Carter…never a good thing.  Still, I can’t get behind any team that’s helmed by Kyle Orton, no matter what the altitude.  The Steelers get put in the sleeper, hulk up as they’re hand is about to hit the mat, shake their finger at the Broncos, drop the leg, and all the Yinzers go home happy.

It’s weird to start making your NFL picks in Week 8, but it’s even weirder to start your blog back up in October after 10 months off. Drink that sentence in for a second, won’t you? Go ahead and call your bookie right now, cause these picks are all 100% locks, but only if I’m right.

Ravens (-3.5) vs Broncos

I hate both of these teams, but this is a good chance for someone to punch Denver in the mouth and expose them for the candyasses that they are.  The Ravens aren’t that good either, but I think they’re tough at home and with my aforementioned belief that Denver really isn’t that good, I’m taking the Ravs and the points.

Texans (-3.5) at Bills

Houston will be gimped with Andre Johnson banged up, but the Bills are in a state of disarray that is only trumped by the Raiders at this juncture.  Houston screams to a win.

Bears (-13.5) vs Browns

I’m always taken aback when I see a double-digit spread in today’s parity-happy NFL.  Then I see this game involves the Browns and realize that parity is just an illusion.  The Bears love to cause me trouble, but I can’t see how anyone could bet the Browns unless you’re talking 20 points (or they’re playing the Raiders or Bills).

Cowboys (-9.5) vs Seahawks

How far have the Seahawks sunk?  Even with Matt Hasslesuck relatively healthy, they’re still pretty awful.  The Cowboys are inconsistent and bizarre in their own right, but they’re a cinch at home in that monstrosity they call a stadium.

Rams (+3.5) at Lions

This game will probably set professional football, and possibly, polite society back a good 40 years.  Nobody cares, but Steven Jackson wins the day for the Rams.

49ers (+11.5) vs Colts

The Colts offense is pretty killer.  I want to believe that with Frank Gore healthy, the Niners can keep this under 10 points.  I may be insane.

Dolphins (+3.5) at Jets

I just don’t think you can trust the Jets at this point.  The Dolphins have the right idea.  They have no QB to speak of, so they just don’t play one approximately 1-in-6 snaps.

Giants (+2.5) at Eagles

I like the Giants coming back from a primetime loss last week.  Plus, the Eagles are just done.

Chargers (-16.5) vs Raiders

You want to talk about a team you can’t trust…I give you the Chargers.  On the other side though, you have the Raiders, the worst professional sports franchise in existence.  16+ is a lot of wood, but again, it is the Raiders.

Jaguars (+2.5) at Titans

Lots of people picked the Titans to win the AFC this year.  Lots of people were wrong.  Vince Young can’t save them (He’s the 00’s version of Kordell Stewart).  Take the Jags and double down on them moving to LA within three years.

Panthers (+9.5) at Cardinals

The Cards are another team that you really can’t trust from week to week.  Carolina is getting healthier is a decent bet to keep it close.

Packers (-2.5) vs Vikings

The NFL’s wet dream comes true this week with Old Man Favre going back to Lambeau Field to face the team that basically kicked him out, not that it wasn’t justified.  Don’t get me wrong with this pick, I think the Vikes are a better team, I just think the Pack has a lot more to lose here and will come through with a win.

Saints (-9.5) vs Falcons

There aren’t enough digits on the scoreboard to contain what will happen in this game.  Bet the over, no matter what.  The Saints love primetime games and it’s hard to bet against them, as no one has been able to even remotely contain them up to this point.  Take ‘em and love it.

With that in mind, I think it’s ludicrous that so many television talking heads are still slurping Old Man Favre and the Vikings after getting shanked by the Steelers 27-17 on Sunday.  Obviously, it was a wild game, and in fact, wild doesn’t even begin to describe it.  Three fourth quarter defensive and special teams TDs, Mike Wallace flipping into the end zone, Brett Favre’s gray hair and old balls all over the place, Jeff Reed acting like a two-bit matador on what could have been a TD-saving tackle, Adrian Peterson trucking Willie Gay embarrassingly on a dump pass…this game had it all.  And I think after all of the insanity, it’s fair to say that both teams were pretty evenly matched and that the Steelers did a great job of capitalizing on mistakes, which led them to the win.  So, why is Favre still being lauded as this conquering hero even though he lost the game in spectacular fashion?

Let’s look at the “fluke” plays as they’re being called, in terms of Favre’s involvement:

1.) Favre pumps once and then gets stripped by Brett Keisel from the backside.  Lamarr Woodley picks up the fumble and rumbles 77 yards for the score.

You can argue that nothing could have stopped Keisel from making that play, short of the left guard doing a better job of blocking him.  When did we stop holding QBs accountable for ball security?  Especially one that’s been in the league for 71 seasons now?

2.) Favre throws a screen pass that goes through Chester Taylor’s hands and to the waiting Keyaron Fox (who’s name I enjoy misspelling), who finds himself a convoy of Steelers and goes 82 yards for a TD that puts the game out of reach.

On the play, Favre pulls one of the lamest tackle attempts in human history and slides to this knees rather than get blocked or try to make the tackle.  This on a play in what was still a three-point game at that moment.  I know he’s old and I know he’s a QB, but you can’t stand in front of a TV camera, sit in front of your keyboard, or even argue with some goonie at your local bar and tell me that he’s some kind of great competitor.  I can see the justification for him taking a dive if the game was out of a reach (though he’d still be a pussy), but we’re talking about a huge play in a big game here.

After all of that, I’m still seeing national media people lining up to fellate the guy and calling him a courageous competitor?  *GAG*

I’m not going to try to explain why things went on hiatus here in the early part of this year.  You can chalk it up to apathy, work, home, burnout, zombies, communists, and even global warming.  Wait, I think I just explained it.  Damn it!

So, let me explain what you’re likely to see on the site from here on out:

• Columns.   A few per week from me and possibly some guests.  They’ll continue to contain my unique brand of awful sentence structure, inside jokes that few people get, and Pittsburgh sports goodness.
• Links.  You’ll notice at the bottom of the main page, I’ve embedded our Tumblr link blog aka Sportsocracy.net.  I’ll be posting lots of good stuff I find there from all over the sordid World Wide Internets.
• Twitter.  I make all sorts of inane comments, especially while watching games.  Learn to love it.  You can follow along at Twitter.com/Sportsocracy or play the home game by just peeping our little widget on the right side.
• Podcast.  Might happen.  Never can tell.

I’m hoping that your expectations are non-existent and that I’m able to meet and even exceed them.  I don’t even know what the hell that means.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, thanks for reading, subscribing, commenting, and emailing me topless pictures of your girlfriends and in the rare case of female readership, yourselves.

And my pick, this ridiculous live version of Muse’s Knights of Cydonia, a Guitar Hero favorite:

Who wouldn’t love a face like that?  Well, besides all of the offensive-minded players he’s been gimping for the past few years with his conservative schemes.  Therrien has actually lightened up some during his Pittsburgh tenure and is actually very popular with the fans, but lots of players still can’t stand to play for him (read: Marian Hossa).  And while it may not really accomplish much, considering they replaced him with Dan Bylsma, someone had to take the fall for the Pens’ lackluster campaign thus far.  Godspeed, Michel.

And, not to be outdone, the Steelers put the franchise tag on Max Starks this week (for the 2nd year in a row), giving him a 1-year deal worth about $8.45 million next season.

At least this year, he’s earning that money as a starter and not as a backup.  So does this mean that the Steelers think Marvel Smith is done at LT?  Or does it mean that the great Willie Colon experiment at RT is over?  Or, is it just a 2008 replay, and the Steelers are entering the season with three tackles and will just wait to see how things play out over the season?

An amazing post from Mondesi’s House with Steelers’ old man James Farrior and former Steeler, escaped mental patient, Joey Porter.  And they’re surfing.

Pictured from left, Farrior, Tiki Barber in a wig, Peezy, random transient surfer, Ernie Els, the lost Ramone brother.

Sean’s Ramblings is have a Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament over at his place, in which Sportsocracy is a #7 seed in the Sammy Khalifa division.  So go there and vote for us, early and often.  We’re the 4th matchup down.

We have no chance of winning overall, with luminaries like The Pensblog and Mondesi’s House out there, but we can shock the world in Round 1 with your help.