Spread Change

Secret Santa

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:04:00 +0000

It's that time of year again! Time for my favorite Santa... the secret one.

Remember everyone... we can do this all year long!

Post by CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley.

Gifts for Those Barely Getting By

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 21:32:00 +0000

On Thanksgiving someone I know committed suicide. His reasons were complicated and I'm sure he felt it was his only option. But every time I hear about another suicide my heart kind of clutches up and it's so hard to shake the heaviness I feel.

We've gone through some troubling economic times. There are people you know right at this moment who are about to lose their home. Or their car. Or both. They are good people who have tried to do all the right things, but circumstances have just gotten the better of them. Maybe it's the economy. Maybe it was a death in the family. Maybe it's just an acute clinical depression that has gotten the better of them.

They live next door to you and they look like they are doing fine. The house is decent. They still wave and smile when they come out the door. But they are 30 days away from losing their house. They eat hot dogs and egg sandwiches and beans and rice. They frequently find reasons to decline to go with you when invited places. Once you noticed their electricity was off for the day and you assumed it was a wiring situation. It wasn't. It took them a day to borrow the money to get the electricity turned back on.

People who spend a lot of time being philanthropic work with people who are in horrible crisis---homeless, out in the weather, starving. We need to. We always need to.

But in the meantime there are also people who are on the edge of terrible circumstances that could use some love and caring. They keep their problems hidden because they don't want to call out for help. They think they can fix what is wrong with a little time and some good luck. And they probably can. But in the meantime, they feel like the bottom of the barrel of humanity because they try to look like the rest of us and keep their burdens a secret.

"I broke down one day in a Wal-Mart," said Janie, single mother of two. "My husband wasn't paying child support and I was going to school to get my nursing license so I could get a higher paying job. We were making it, but barely. I'd pay bills just before utilities would get disconnected and we'd cut everything out that was a luxury, things we enjoyed before like going to the matinee on the weekend. I felt frightened all the time because we were one calamity away from losing everything we had.

"There was a mom with two kids standing at the end of the aisle where they put impulse items. The shelves were stocked with little plastic cups with movie characters on them, a buck a piece. She got one for each of her kids and I turned the corner and burst into tears because I couldn't do that. I needed every dollar I had for groceries or gas to get to work."

Living on the line means you get what you must to get by, but nothing else. And when you are surrounded by people who have plenty it's hard not to feel the despair of want. You miss out on the things that make your life easy or comfortable.

A local pastor reported that the necessity of letting things go can contribute to further economical failings. A parishioner was having a mechanical problem with the car that was minor. The man had no money to make the repair which continued to get worse. Eventually it got so bad the car would not work. The man then had trouble getting to his second job which was the only thing standing between them and a full-blown housing crisis. "Fortunately, we were made aware of it by someone else and were able to help him. But he never asked for help. If he had asked, or if we had known sooner we could have helped him. Some people don't want to ask for help."

You get the idea. Part of what makes a money-crisis feel so horrible is that you don't have the fall-back feel-good remedies to ease your stress. Mother, father, kids---they all feel it. They don't have access to the little treats or luxuries that help them escape.

Below is a list of ideas that are "feel good" gifts you can give to families you suspect are in a secret crisis:

Restaurant Gift Card: These people don't eat out. They eat the most basic of food using the cheapest ingredients possible. If they do go out, they are buying bad burgers off the dollar menu. Imagine the joy of taking an hour to eat out at a sit-down restaurant with the family. Get them a gift certificate for the meal and pair it up with a few extra bucks for their tip.

Pay something on a utility: These people don't want you to know they are in a crisis. If you ask they will not admit to it. One thing you can do is pay a few bucks on their utility bill. Pop a $20 toward toward the water bill. If it happens that it's already been paid, then they will have a credit for next month. What a relief to them. They can put that extra money toward something else.

Gas card: An anonymous gas card mailed to someone can relieve their whole week. One less thing to worry about for just a short time.

Movie tickets: Get movie tickets for the whole family. Pair it up with some cash for snacks. Or call and invite them. Say, "hey, we want to take you out to the movies, our treat, because you are awesome friends."

Non-SNAP items: There are things you can't get using a SNAP card such as deoderant, toothpaste, cleaning supplies. Make up a basket or box and deliver it when nobody is home. Because I can't think of some weird excuse to buy cleaning supplies for someone without tipping them off that you know they are in trouble. You'll have to get creative on this.

Toys for the kids: Parents suck it up and go without. It's hard to see the kids do it. Find a family with kids and get each child a little toy or special item. Wrap it and say it's a "just because" gift. Or give the parents a break and take their children out for ice cream. Unless they are strangers. Don't be creepy.

Repair something: This is a great one for senior citizens. Rake a yard or mow a lawn or unclog the gutters. Trim a tree. Do something around the house for someone that they normally would have to pay someone to do. These are things people let go when they are destitute.

Luxury foods: When you have only enough money to put food on the table you buy what you need to get by, nothing else. You use the most horrible toilet paper, the cheapest ingredients, you stop buying cream for your coffee. Actually, you stop buying coffee, too. A basket of luxury items will transport a person for a short time and put a little color into a drab world. Fancy cheeses, meats, crackers. Gourmet coffee. Any kind of food that isn't your basic. Bacon, believe it or not. Meat is very expensive and one of the first things to be cut out of the meal of people who are barely getting by.

Luxury in general: People in survival mode do not pamper themselves. They use awful toilet paper, the cheapest shampoo. They use toothbrushes they should have thrown out months ago. They do not have the luxury of anything of quality. Nor a luxury of services like the salon or getting a treat with the manicurist. Any little reminder that good things can still happen to them is a welcome relief.

Memberships/Entertainment: When all you can do is get food on the table, you don't get to go to the museum. Or the movies. You can't get cable or satellite. Any place that costs money to walk in the door... you don't get to do that. Consider getting someone a gift of a membership to a local museum or a gym or Netflix/Hulu. Entertainment can help you escape for a little while and restore your energy to continue the fight to get back to where you need to be.

A book, craft or hobby item: A lot of people go to work simply because it's a job and they need money, not because it is their joy or passion. Those people use their hobbies as the time to experience their passions or joys. When you have no money you stop doing those things you love. Find out what your desperate person likes to do and treat them to that. I know one person who loves the bookstore. She goes and browses but never buys. She checks her books out at the library, but I know she loves to purchase them when she can. For another person I was able to score a couple huge bags of yarn. Her joy is needle work and her hobby is making hats and sweaters for the children's hospital. She cannot always afford to buy yarn. A new tool for a woodworker, some luxury stationery for someone who has pen pals, some paint for the artist.

Sometimes life is hard. Personally, I think our job as humans is to help each other keep our humanity. We do this by showing compassion and encouraging others to do the same. We love people, make them feel loved and thereby open their capacity to love others and pay it forward. People who are on the brink, just barely surviving, are scared and miserable. They have trouble doing for themselves, so it's hard for them to go beyond themselves and help others. Fight or flight. Neither are great choices.

Let's lift others up when they need it. Who can use your help today? Do you have any other ideas to share?

The Penguins Don't Need Sweaters

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sat, 08 Mar 2014 14:57:00 +0000

There's a viral thing going around the Internet about how oily penguins need sweaters. They don't. Not anymore. So, any sweater you donate is being sold commercially and you're knitting for who-knows-what.

However, charity crafting is awesome and I've posted individual sites before. I'm going to put a list here of charities I have personally donated to that I feel are reputable. There are many others, so feel free to explore but read all the fine print to make sure they aren't just taking your stuff for their own gain. Do your research to make sure they are reputable and stable.

Some charities are for one specific purpose with a short time limit. Some are perpetual. Make sure you meet deadlines if there are some so it doesn't become another penguin fiasco.

Also, please consider keeping your efforts local and determine the best use for your efforts. For example, in my area there are always food drives going on for the food bank. But the more I learned about it I realized that I can go buy a can of soup for $1 and feed one person OR I can donate $1 to the foodbank and they can feed 10 people on that dollar. In that case, money is better. Way better.

So, your hat that goes off to some big company three states away will end up going who-knows-where, but your hat donated to the local children's hospital will go to a kid who needs it, a kid that's just miles from you. And what about knitting socks for people in the hospital or nursing home. A gift to a lonely older person is such a delight and way bigger than the effort you put into your creation. You can see the results right in front of you.

I'm not knocking donating to a big cause, I'm just saying that you need to really examine your motivation, your recipients, what you have to offer, etc and decide what you want to do after a little bit of soul searching.

Okay, now get started. As I said, these are some of my favorites and have been tried-and-true for me:

Arkansas Children's Hospital Knitting for Noggins
Craft Hope
Knit-a-Square
More Love Letters

Another favorite of mine, but I don't know if they take crafted items: The One, Inc. (Meeting the needs of the rural homeless.)

Happy Crafting! Spread the Love!

Indiegogo: The Lascaux Prize

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 23:46:00 +0000

I hope you will take a minute to look at a project I'm involved in.

For the last couple of years I've been working on a literary journal called The Lascaux Review with my editor-friend and crit partner Stephen Parrish. It's a wonderful place to hang out if you love literature and good writing.

We've run two flash fiction contests and have published some notable names in fiction, nonfiction and poetry.

Now we want to offer a chance to award a larger prize to writers of short fiction and we need help. So, we're raising funds through Indiegogo and getting the word out to see who can help us meet our goals. We have some great perks for people who donate. Those who can't donate for even the lowest perk, I hope will at least pass the word on to friends and family who will donate and help spread the word. Or put a widget on your page. Every little bit will help us meet our goal.

Check it out and watch the video. It's informative and fun and you might learn something cool in the three minutes that it plays. About literature, about the world, about history, about my passion.

Thank you for taking a moment to look!

Dinner for Six

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 00:48:00 +0000

I recently saw a great story about a family who wanted to spend more quality together and chose to do so by putting together food bags for kids who are hungry. It's called Kids Against Hunger.

The bags have a combination of rice, crushed soy, dehydrated vegetables and vitamins/flavoring "secret sauce" powder. When boiled up it will feed six children.

A 32-pound box contains 36 packets that make a total of 216 meals and costs approximately $50.

So here is how to make this a budget philanthropy project:

Make dinner and invite five of your friends over. Tell 'em to bring ten bucks each. You feed them one meal, they feed six kids 36 times.

Do it once a month and that's almost 2,600 meals that you and your friends have provided hungry kids. It only costs you ten bucks a month.

The Terror of Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 13:40:00 +0000

Check out this wonderful post: Terror of Kindness

It's some thoughtful speculation on why we hesitate to do more acts of kindness when they are so cheap and easy to do.

It's brilliant. Go see.

Couple Builds Bikes for Disabled Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 02:09:00 +0000

I saw this on the news tonight. What a wonderful story!

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Family/therapy-couple-fashions-tricycles-children-disabilities/story?id=14282607

What About Now?

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 12:45:00 +0000

Watch this video. If it doesn't make you want to do something today to make a difference in the world, nothing will. Thanks to Matt Shifley for posting about his mom on Facebook and inspiring this post. She must have really been something.

Go do something good in your world today. Do it for Matt's mom so she can live forever. Do it for yourself. Just go do it because it's the right thing. Before you go to sleep tonight ask yourself, "Did I change something for the better today?"

The Fifth Meal

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 19:58:00 +0000

We have a way of feeding people that doesn't involve taking food to the foodbank. We love donating to the foodbank and do it occasionally, but in this economy as self-employed people there is not a lot of excess grocery money to go around at our house.

So, here is what we do instead.

When we make our normal evening meal we try to make enough that we can create what's called "The Fifth Meal" (we're a family of four). We package it up in a cool food saver tray that has compartments and a lid and voila... a whole meal we can share with someone.

Typically we share these with seniors because they are lighter eaters. It might be 2-3 ounces of a meat main dish and a serving spoon full of veggies and another bit of side-dish. It's not a grand meal, but it's solid and great for people on a fixed income. We get to know people around us who are on a fixed income and find it's a real treat for them to have their lunch brought to them the next day or to have a big hunk sliced off the end of the banana bread or whatever.

Little things like that can help your neighbor feel cared for and break up their ordinary food routine.

Don't let your leftovers sit in the fridge and go bad -- create a Fifth Meal and share it with someone who could use something to eat.

Photo by: Stephen Depolo

Helen's Pajama Party

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Mon, 17 May 2010 20:40:00 +0000

I love this group! I just found out about them today, but already I am madly in love with their mission which is to provide women in domestic violence shelters with brand new comfy jammies.

Helen's Pajama Party is based out of Iowa and their mission is to provide all women's shelters in Iowa with brand new comfy PJs for the women who are sheltered there. The goal is to gather about 3000 sets of pajamas per year in various sizes.

Would you consider having a pajama drive or a pajama party? Wouldn't that be a fun thing to do with your girlfriends?

Check out the web site and see what you can do to help!

What I've Been Doing for Two Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:15:00 +0000

Some months ago I wrote a blurb about CASA for this blog. I've always thought it was a great organization and had been trying to talk my mother into starting to volunteer for them now that she is retired. I know her particular skill set would be great for what one needs to accomplish.

Finally I got her to do it! And it turns out she loves it and is great at it. So, now my mom is a child advocate and my sister-in-law does their outreach and another sister-in-law used to volunteer and I have several friends who volunteer and just by a natural progression I decided I'd go ahead and get certified.

SO... I have been sitting in the certification class for a week and have another half of a week to go. I wonder about the sanity of the decision since I'm raising two kids (with my husband) and we're running our own business. But then I think about the kids that need a voice and I can't ignore that.

It's remarkable to think what can be done if we all band together to help stop the cycle of abuse and neglect. I sat in court for three hours last Wednesday and listened to various testimony of people -- child protective service workers who testified the parents aren't doing what they need to do to get their kids back, parents who say they are doing all they can, listening to drug test results, police reports, advocate reports, lawyers who try to turn their client's lemons into lemonade...

One of the days in class we discussed domestic violence. We listened to a 911 call from a little girl named Lisa. I have a fairly tough exterior and most of the time remain in great control of my emotional self, but this one really got to me. As I sat listening I wondered if I cried because it was just horrible or if it was because I still struggle with the repercussions of my niece being stabbed by her husband I could not separate the two and I'm not sure if the depth of my sorrow was for little Lisa (and all the other little Lisas in the world) or if it was for my own family and our loss.

Not that it matters. My perspective has certainly changed since I've had children and crimes against children seem way worse now than they ever have because I put myself and my kids in the place of the people in the stories I hear. And I want to be a good example for the two boys I'm raising. I tell them they should make the world better than it was when they arrived to it and I ask myself constantly if I'm doing that myself.

How many lives must we make better to counteract those who are selfish or careless or violent? It would be nice if there was a formula, but there's not. So my plan is to just keep trucking and do the best I can do in my own small way, one person at a time. If you'll do it with me that will be two of us and if you bring a friend that's three times the good.

(If you have time to be an advocate for a child who is a victim of abuse and neglect, please check out CASA and see if it would be a good fit for you!)

Crafting for Haiti

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:11:00 +0000

There are some pretty amazing things happening over at Craft Hope! Their Etsy shop has raised $27,000 for Doctors Without Borders in just a very short time. This is all from stuff that has been donated by artisans and crafters. What amazing work!

Please take a minute to check out Craft Hope's store. Get someone something cool for Valentine's Day and raise money for Haiti at the same time!

170,000 Yards of Yarn

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:59:00 +0000

Lion Brand Yarns recently did a project with Partnership for the Homeless and provided hundreds and scarves and hats to those in need.

Go check out how awesome they are!

Here are some other craft philanthropy groups that I love:

Craft Hope
Afghans for Afghans
Newborns in Need

And for many others try: About.com Crafting for Charity

Send Love Today

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:25:00 +0000

Send Love Today is a nonprofit organization that provides emotional support to brain tumor patients and their families in the form of cards and small gifts.

Do you have a little bit of time on your hands to commit to jotting a few notes to people who could use some encouragement and uplifting? Go to the site and read more about this great organization and see if you can do something to help.

And if you can't right now, do pass it on!

Dove Builds Self-Esteem

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:30:00 +0000

Did you know that 7 out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough in some way? And 75% of girls with low self-esteem participate in negative activities such as disordered eating, bullying, cutting, etc?

If 70% of our girls feel like this, how are they going to feel when they are grown up women?

As I was coupon surfing this morning I ran across Dove's web site and notice they are doing a "click to donate" program. Their campaign is all about building self-esteem in girls.

If you go to the site it asks for a UPC code from a Dove product, but it will also let you choose a product from a list so you don't have to enter your code. My selection donated $1 to the program and I was able to choose from three organizations to which to donate.

Awesome program. Go do your free donation!

And while you're at it, what can you do to help build up a lovely young lady's self-esteem? If you have a daughter or granddaughter, look further at the site and you will find some workbooks and other tools that you can use with that girl in your life to help build her self-esteem.

If you don't have a girl in your life, at least read the key findings in the self-esteem study and help educate others and influence them to make a difference, too!

Museum Day

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:44:00 +0000

Saturday, September 26th is Museum Day, sponsored by The Smithsonian. Their web site has a place you can click to print yourself a free admission pass for two to any participating museum.

Tomorrow is a great opportunity to practice some budget philanthropy by taking a guest to a museum. Not only do museums rock (and are sometimes expensive!) but by going you can learn one new thing about history and culture that might expand your horizons. Knowledge gives us the opportunity and desire to show more compassion and tolerance for our fellow roomies on this planet we call our home.

Take the kids or borrow some kids if you don't have any of your own. Personally, my family are "treating" the grandparents to an outing. Tomorrow we're piling in a van and headed out to a discovery museum a couple hours from our home where we'll look at cool bugs and all sorts of other weird things.

Whose horizons can you broaden tomorrow?

Free Chocolate Friday!

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:03:00 +0000

It's Free Chocolate Friday! Spread some happiness by signing yourself or a friend or loved one up for some TOTALLY FREE CHOCOLATE.

It's good. So good!

Hurry over to: Mars Real Chocolate Relief Act

Sharing Backyards

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:33:00 +0000

I live in a small town surrounded by rural countryside. Even here in town most folks have enough space around them to have a little garden, often a generous garden.

In the cities people aren't so lucky. They are surrounded by pavement or have little tiny postage stamp sized yards. Sometimes in the city you can get creative and have a rooftop garden or use your flowerbeds for vegetables. Some cities offer neighborhood parks and community gardens.

But there's another way... how about sharing a backyard? The Sharing Backyards web site has a database where you can enter a request for a backyard to share or offer your unused space to a local gardener. You post what you have or what you want and you can contact each other online and work out a deal.

I had a great time browsing the site to see what people were looking for in other cities. If you've got a grand backyard to share, why not see if someone in your area is looking? And if not, please pass the word and maybe you will make a gardener happy somewhere!

Collecting Little Things

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:40:00 +0000

Recently a friend of mine sent me a link to a young woman, Katie Davis, who has amazing energy, compassion and a zest for life. She works with kids in Uganda and has a web site where she documents her work at Amazima Ministries International.

While I was there reading about Katie, I noticed that on her blog she has a list on her sidebar of things that they happen to need at the moment, just little things like gummie vitamins, deflated soccer balls and packets of dry soup. They live a life that is simply in survival mode. They are not asking for better Internet connection, more TV channel choices, MP3 downloads, chicken parmesan, a car with better gas mileage or the latest designer sneakers. No, they're asking for packets of dry soup and some underwear.

So why not get some friends together and see if you can make a care package for Amazima? Go check out the list she has on her blog and see if you can pull some of that stuff together to send. Want to do it cheaper? Print out this article and take it to several stores around town and see if they will donate some products to you. Also, if you do need to buy some of the items, be sure to check online and see if you can find coupons for some of the products. Frequently, stores who have their own brand names (like Kroger, Walgreens, etc) offer 2-for-1 sales on vitamins. And if a store won't donate, see if you can negotiate a deal where you can purchase items at cost or near-cost since it's for a worthy cause.

The little things make a big difference!

(By the way, I'm guest posting over at A Year of Living Charitably while Jen is on vacation. Go over and show some love!)

Goody Bags

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:02:00 +0000

Tabitha over at afiveoh4uplifting.org is spreading goody bag madness. Would you like to join her?

The basic idea of her group designed to spread kindness is to make or collect a lot of little "goodies" that are donated to different hospitals or wherever. She gives a lot of hints on what types of things to give, where and how to give them, etc. She's full of life and enthusiasm and is very inspiring.

Please go check it out. Who can you make a goody bag for today? Or can you do a drive to collect goodies that can be handed out to those who need them? What have you done to promote kindness today?

Helping Others

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:52:00 +0000

I was reading over at The Prudent Homemaker and ran across a page of hers that talks about how to help others when you're having your own difficulty.

She has a ton of great budget philanthropy ideas, some really creative ways to help others. The key point is to look deep within yourself -- at your strengths and your talents -- and find ways to use these to benefit others.

What are your strengths and talents? Check out Prudent Homemakers Helping Others page to see if any of yours are listed there.

Craft Hope

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:21:00 +0000

I am thrilled to have recently learned about a web site called Craft Hope.

It's a faith-based program in which people from all over join up to hand-craft items for a certain cause, such as making sock monkeys for kids at a burn camp, dolls for needy children, blankets and pillowcases, etc.

The response to the projects is fabulous and so touching. If you are crafty or know someone who is, I hope you will spread the word about this site. It's really wonderful.

I wish I knew how to sew! I'm waiting for a new project to come up that hopefully involves crocheting so I can participate. (A couple of years ago our local children's hospital had a crochet and knitted hat project that I joined -- so much fun and really gratifying. I highly recommend it!)

3/50 Project

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:14:00 +0000

I read about this project over at Thinking Out Loud.

The 3/50 Project is about saving your local economy. It's frequently tempting to shop online because it's easy to check for the absolute best prices and see a greater variety than a local store might have. But only shopping online has a significant impact on your local economy, the number of jobs available in your community and spreads out like ripples in the water.

The project is very simple... it proposes that you pick your three favorite stores that you want to support and be sure you spend a small amount of money each month in those stores. The site shows some statistics on how just a small amount spent with consistent effort can have an impact.

If you love your city and your neighborhood, check out the 3/50 Project and pass the word!

Kellogg Feeds America

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:20:00 +0000

I ran across a site where you can donate $5 for free. Sort of.

At the Kellogg web site if you donate $5 for the Feeding America program, Kellogg will give you back $5 in coupons. Effectively, that means you've made your donation for free!

So, go check it out and help Kellogg feed America!

Share the Comfort

noreply@blogger.com (Wendy) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 00:24:00 +0000

Click to donate 10 boxes of Kraft macaroni. Totally free. Help them meet their goal of one million boxes!