spring eternal

gyoza, anyone?

2009-11-10T12:35:00.003+08:00

i finally made gyoza last night. i'd been dreaming about cooking it even before i saw a how-to video on youtube.

preparing the vegetables and crimping the dumplings was so much fun. but i was a little disappointed with my finished product. although i obtained the yummy looking brown crisp on the bottoms, the gyozas were melded together and were difficult to unstuck from the pan. i must have placed them too close and cooked too many at one go... 21 pieces at once!

but, presentation aside, i think it was a success. it all disappeared in snap and my mom asked me how much it would cost if she'd sell it per piece. (haha)

but i think its a little too early for that. i reviewed the video and found out i missed one tasty ingredient, the ginger. of course, i substituted other ingredients and eye-balled the measurements. still, have about 15 pieces left over which i put in the freezer for later. next time, it'll definitely look like these guys:

when i get it perfectly, i'll post my recipe and a picture here.

obsessions

2009-11-08T17:27:00.002+08:00

i've been obsessing over something lately. a simple curiosity about a specific person that has been fueled by circumstance and opportunity, and slowly cemented by undesirable negative emotions.

i'm not proud of it. it's out of character for me. yet, i find no small amount of guilty pleasure when i indulge in it.

but, the more i find myself dipping into that sordid well of unhealthy curiosity, the more i realise that it's going to lead into something dangerous, for my mental well being and mayhap for my relationships.

writing about it brings a measure of relief. perhaps, the fact that no one knows about it is one of the reason why i have held on to it for quite a time. no one knows so it can't do any harm, right? well, i'm finding out otherwise. the more i keep doing it in secret, the worse i feel everytime.

so this is one small step for me. i am taking myself in hand. next step will be telling someone about it. hopefully, i'll get over this... soon.

don't drive while laughing

2009-11-03T16:47:00.004+08:00

last night LD taught me how to drive a motorbike. it was fun for me and hair-raising for him. i enjoyed the breeze while he sweated buckets. i developed new-found respect for all drivers and solidified my resolve to avoid driving while under the influence.

i learned that driving requires you're full attention. and you have to process all those extraneous information like speed, visibility, traffic, pedestrian movement, etc. while maintaining a firm yet steady grip on the throttle and keeping the darned thing on a straight path.

i kept squeezing the throttle which made us sped up. each time i did that LD would shout, "slow down! slow down! stop squeezing!" which made me let go completely and made us stop. i got nervous as the decibels rose which made me laugh which made him add, "stop laughing!", to his on going litany.

but the most important thing i learned was that fear can and will cloud your senses if you let it. when i looked down that street we were practicing on, i felt my heartbeat rise and my breathing turn shallow. LD's voice sounded teeny and i couldn't understand what i was doing on that street straddling something heavier than I and possibly facing broken bones and scratches if I fell.

but i took a deep breath and resolved to let go of the fear. suddenly, my chest loosened up, my way became clear, and LD's voice receeded. i knew, i just knew, what i should do. and i did it...! i stopped listening to his anxious tone and just focused on what he had taught me.

however, the return trip wasn't such a success. I listened and got confused by LD's instructions and argued with him too much. half-way thru the second pass, he was done. he finally put a stop to his suffering and we went home. he was breathing hard and was sweaty, too.

it was exhilirating but i wonder if he'll continue to teach me. (lol)

i'll just do some research in the mean time. i found this cool site for added info.

just so you know

2009-10-28T15:19:00.002+08:00

... i already got a grade for my "inc" subject...!!! (funkydance)

so now, i have 18 units of my grad program under my belt. with a gwa of 1.375 (woot) to boot.

all those sleepless nights, hair-pulling and teeth clenching moments paid off. *whew*

*******

i'm feeling restless again.

"shouldn't there be more?"

plateau.

falling.

scrambling for a hand hold.

looking.

searching...

in memoriam

2009-08-06T12:44:00.012+08:00

"Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those, whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy picture[s] be,
Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'rt slave to Fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke ; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And Death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die."
— John Donne

Finisterre (End of the Land) Photo by Victor Nuno

Dedicated to my lolo whose birthday will be this aug 10, madam cory aquino, and georgie... may their souls rest in peace.

"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated. God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and His hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to another." - John Donne

on egos

2009-07-31T15:58:00.003+08:00

quoting someone: small town with small minds and big egos...

if i take a freudian stand on this, i can say: my ego is too busy playing referee to my id and superego to take notice of anybody else's.

adlerian constructs would point out that they probably need help mastering socially acceptable means of coping with their feelings of superiority. or perhaps, they have the "wrong" kind of superiority feelings.

the point is...grad school has made an impact on me... hahahah

that's my ego talking right there!

:P

stop the music!!!

2009-07-25T16:14:00.003+08:00

i took a test once. and it said i'm very visual. that is, i process information primarily through what i see rather than what i hear (auditory) or feel/do (kinesthetic).

but realy, i can be easily distracted by sound.

like right now... i can't think from the music blaring from this laptop. Lord help me. i'm grateful for the free net use, but please.... stop the music!!!!

Paulo Coehlo's Statutes for Life

2009-06-30T09:41:00.009+08:00

(click on the page and turn...)

great share!!!

get in line

2009-06-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

Maybe I have a knack for making it seem like my work is easy. So much so that some people make the mistake of thinking that my work is easy. I say this because when I left my previous job, they had to chop up my workload and gave it to three people. They even had to hire someone with a higher salary than what I had enjoyed. Unfortunately, that person didn’t last long and now I hear the replacement is also about to leave as well. That must say something about my ability to adapt, don’t you think? Considering that I lasted almost four years in a job that apparently most people can only stand for half a year (on average).

I don’t like to throw my weight around. By this I mean that I don’t depend on my position to get others to do what I want of them. I influence them with reason and logic, and as much as possible I try to motivate and inspire them to do their job willingly and on their own by reminding them of the pride that comes from a job well done and the satisfaction of knowing that you contributed to the success of something bigger than yourself.

Sometimes, others see this as a weakness. They think that I am not willing, nor even, capable of doing whatever is necessary to get the job done. What they do not realize is that when I am hesitant to do something, it is not because I cannot do it, but because I am not yet convinced that it is the one and only move necessary for getting the job done.

So forgive me for not bowing to your every whim; for not agreeing to your methods or opinions; for having a mind and will of my own. I give you the benefit of both. And do not think that this is a bad thing. Do not mistake that I do this for your pleasure. I do what I do because I believe in the whole of it, that this venture has value. If you cannot grasp this, then so be it. So long as I believe I am doing my part, I will stay. But when the time comes that even this is taken from me, when I no longer believe in my purpose, then that is the time we will part.

But until then… leave me be.

PAY IN EXACT AMOUNT PLEASE

2009-05-26T11:44:00.003+08:00

That was the sign on the window. I was supposed to pay P150 but my money was P500. I thought, they may have the change since its so early in the morning (so early in fact that I had to wait around 5 minutes before anyone took notice of me at the window. Sweating in the heat and getting impatient I might add.) and it was a nice round number. No coins to count.

But hell no! After glancing at the P500 bill she goes, “Exact amount only”, and proceeded to ignore me. Staring at the paper I had handed her she said, “Change it to a smaller bill, I don’t have any change,” looking for all the world like she didn’t care if I had to walk to hell and back to find smaller bills for her. I stood their for several minutes, wondering if she would offer me any suggestions on where I might be able to find change, a word of encouragement, apology, kindness…!? I could have stood there for an hour and she probably wouldn’t have minded at all.

I walked back to the cafeteria, about three quarters of the way I had came from to get to the cashier’s, fuming over the heartlessness of this person. Wondering over the negligent disregard of such a culture that would let its employee sit in comfort, while having the people who contributed to their salaries and benefits suffer the heat, distance, and indignity of finding smaller bills when in fact it was their responsibility to provide such change (have these people ever heard of Change Fund???).

If it weren’t for the fact that I had been part of this institution for almost 10 years, I probably would not think twice of vilifying the whole of it. I am ashamed to say that they have become archaic and ensconced in their ivory tower, blinded by their vanity, and unwilling to look beyond their arrogant assumption that they are the “best” in their field. Well, soon enough they will have to face the fact that they need to compete with “lesser” giants which have overtaken them, and will over run them with “armies” built from the brilliant troops which they have initially produced.

I was angry. But now I am sad at the thought. A famed institution well known for striving towards academic “honor and excellence” and giving “service” to its country can be reduced to this: pitiful and unsatisfactory service. For a moment, I felt doubt about pursuing my higher education in their hands. If people were this uncaring in the administration of students, what more could I expect from the professors?

But then, there are saving graces. The cashier at the cafeteria still recognized me from my high school days and chatted me up, the gardener I passed gave me a polite greeting, and the people at the division office are always helpful and kind.

So… “Pay in exact amount”? For sure. In life, as reflected in this institution (and as often iterated by its denizens), sometimes people just don’t care and we’re left to fend for ourselves. “Sink or swim”, as they say. I hope not only to “swim” but be able to extend my learning to others who’ll make use of it as a lifeline in this world.

When I returned to the cashier’s office, the lady there was combing her hair in front of her computer. My receipt was ready, so I dropped one P100 bill and one P50 bill and walked away thinking that the “Iskolars ng Bayan” need not look beyond the walls of their school to find an opportunity to start changing the world.

taking a step back

2009-05-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

This morning I attended an orientation given by the BBY project (Breaking Barriers for Young adults with disabilities) and they shared their worthy cause of providing free comprehensive rehabilitation services and development trainings to underprivileged YAWDs (young adults with disabilities). They were trying to get commitments from local establishments, government offices, and individuals to support their project through job opportunities, OJTs, and information campaigns. Personally, I find their efforts commendable and I am very much in support of their cause. However, employment opportunity is nil at the moment and all I could extend was a commitment to accommodate any OJT they may have who have trainings related to my industry.

It was a welcome reprieve from the daily pressures of the workplace and an opportunity to see a bigger picture than the nooks and crannies of The Property. The song offered by one of their beneficiary, Beautiful In My Eyes, was very touching (probably because I love the song) and dispelled the anxiety caused by the traffic jam I encountered while commuting to the venue. The testimony of another was also enlightening, it made me wonder at the courage this young people had to pursue their goal of a normal, self-sustained life.

For the first time in a while I felt a calm sense of well being. I think I have become too engrossed in the corporate world. The daily worries of the office are starting to haunt me even at home. Although I have expressed the desire to find another career, I find that I can’t make a move towards this dream. It’s as if I have become stuck in a ride that I cannot halt and have no control over.

Very serious musings for the day, I must admit… maybe I just need to get some more exercise.

And let the bigger picture stay firmly fixed in front of my eyes.

Game On!

2009-05-21T15:06:00.003+08:00

Guimaras Adventure Park at Jordan, Guimaras. company teambuilding. paintball. target shooting. rapelling. orientering.

almost forgot the camping bit. and the food. and the drinks.

STATS:

paintball. 2nd place. 5 rounds. 4 major hematomas (!).

target shooting. 6 out of 7 shots. 4 , 15 point hits, and 2, 25 point hits.

rapelling. 2 descents. 1 australian.

orientering. compass man. 3rd place. 10 min 35 sec. "GO TEAM!"

total fun: PRICELESS!

(LOL)

...take two

2009-04-09T14:20:00.002+08:00

kainan village, baybay, roxas city... they're open on Maunday Thursday... i wonder if they're open for the rest of the holy week...

Roxas Holiday... Take One

2009-04-09T13:59:00.002+08:00

*******

Maundy Thursday... i've often wondered what maundy meant... and today i finally googled it (thank God for Google)...

The word "Maundy" is derived from the Latin mandatum meaning "command" - the
same Latin root as mandatory and mandate. This is a reference to Christ's
commandment to love one another, made at the Last Supper (the day before the
crucifixion) when Jesus washed His disciples' feet. - maundy.com

birthday resolutions

2009-04-03T18:49:00.002+08:00

april fool's day has come and gone. and what did this day bring me? the following resolutions:

1. enroll in a yoga class. i can't seem to find the time to work on my asanas by myself so, while in the bathroom washing my hair, i decided to take it to the next level and just get myself hitched to a wellness club. there's a good one that offers classes every wednesday and saturday and since i know the owner, i figure, why not? i just have to take the time to drop by his place though... maybe i can recruit a couple people along the way and get a discount... hmmmmmmmnn.. who wants yoga lessons????

2. enjoy the social scene a little bit more. this one is timely. since there's the long holiday week ahead, i can pack more activities into my schedule and just go wild. have to contact the BFF and BBF to come with... and let's not forget the LD... in the meantime, the weekend will be eventful enough... cheers!

3. get married. yep.. the clock's ticking. and like i said, i planned to be married by 28. so! to make this work, figuratively, i changed my plurk and facebook status to: MARRIED. lol. beat that!

4. enjoy life! ...need i say more?

the countdown is on

2009-03-28T18:13:00.006+08:00

as i'm writing this post, the countdown is on for Earth Hour 2009 in my part of the globe... it is now 7:04 pm...

it's sad to think that most of us would never be able to think beyond the confines of our daily lives. sadder still to wake up to the reality that we may be at the brink of global environmental meltdown and choosing to stay in our safe bubble.

if you wish to make a stand, show your support to conservation, you only have to switch off your lights for an hour, tonight, starting at 8:30.

you can make a difference. we can make a difference.

let's take a stand and switch off our lights in support of Earth Hour 2009: A call to stand up and take control over the future of our planet.

good sign

2009-03-27T18:10:00.004+08:00

i just now realised that i haven't updated my blog for 20 days... the longest so far, in my memory... i'm trying to intellectualize this by thinking of the many things i've accomplished while out of limbo from the internet and not merely a sign of laziness on my part.

hmmmnnn i got into facebook just today and honestly i'm a little lost. but i did discover something. i can actually import my blog to its Notes section.... whoah! increased readership for me! hahahah

a concern though, can i actually deactivate the feed if i want to? hmmmm... all this talk about FBs terms that makes them own content uploaded by members is a little bit alarming for me...

******

Thanks to Pot for the picture.

Coping Responsibly

2009-03-07T19:33:00.005+08:00

Nosebleed post muna. Reaction paper ko ito for one of my classes. Desperate measures na.. haven't updated in a while so ito na lang.

*******

“How can you apply your mind to solving the problem when the problem is your mind?”

I recall this question from the movie A Beautiful Mind when I recall our visit to the Psychiatric Ward of the Provincial Hospital last February 21, 2009. It sums up quiet well the illness that afflicts one out of five Filipinos (http://gmanews.tv/).

It dawned on me the reality that mental illness is much like any other bodily ailment that we can contract through our exposure to the stresses of modern living: a cold or flu virus, a rash from allergens, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer. Yet, I feel an exceptional aversion to the picture that any one of us is at risk of losing our minds and, essentially, control over our volition and lucid thoughts. More so than the concern I may feel with any other illness.

I have always been of the belief that what I am is a product of what I think. My success or failure, accomplishments, and sense of self-worth is dictated by my concept of self and personal awareness of my environment and how I react to it. The idea that our own mind can defeat us is as scary as the idea that a serial killer is at my door. It makes me feel unsafe, unprotected, and totally vulnerable.

At the hospital I observed different cases of mental illness and the state it reduced its victims to. Some of them needed to be restrained in their beds because they exhibited violent tendencies, some had IV drips because they refuse to eat or drink, some were scared of the hallucinations they experience, some were totally lost in their fantasies, while some talk as lucidly as you or I and yet talk of alien abduction as though it were as common as rainfall.

Honestly, I was not at ease with the state that the patients where in. The ward itself was unkempt and badly needed repairs. There was a big hole in the ceiling of the male ward that leaked and the beds were not even hospital issue and looked quiet uncomfortable.

I wondered how they could possibly get well in such an unhealthy looking environment. This as much as anything else reflects the mind-set of Philippine society with regards mental illness.

I hear stories of patients who are treated no better than animals by their care-takers. I see cases of individuals who roam the city streets, sleeping underneath shrubberies and relieving themselves in full view of passersby. I feel pity for them, true. Still, I cannot imagine how their families feel. How would it be like to see your loved one slowly degenerate into a mindless mass of incomprehensible fantasies?

I shiver at the thought.

This brings us to the question of how to prevent mental illness. And the answer is to practice mental hygiene. In essence, this would require a basic understanding of the self and how a person reacts and interacts with his environment; adaption of certain forms of relaxation technique or adjustment behavior such as a hobby or exercise; a healthy lifestyle; a sound assessment of personal capabilities; and, the existence of a support group in the form of family, friends, or significant others.

Most of us would go through life unmindful of the risks we face in terms of illness and disease. This is not necessarily bad. Being too preoccupied with the thought that we can get sick or fearing illness is in certain cases an illness by itself. But, living a healthy life would entail that we have a definition of what health is. This would then result to adaption of appropriate behaviors parallel to the concept of being healthy.

For instance, we know that to be healthy means that we take care of our body. This taking care of our body can be in the form of avoiding smoking or excessive drinking, or having an exercise regimen, or food preference. Likewise, if we think that having a sound mind means having an appropriate mental handle on our stressors, then we would be able to actively engage in practices that can relieve such stressors and/or acquiring a mind-set that can strengthen our coping skills.

Interestingly, some people who are so absorbed in taking control of their life are in fact applying additional pressures on themselves. This is because we forget the basic truth that we are not in control of our life. Change can and will happen regardless of how much we resist (or welcome) it.

Sometimes, all we need do is be aware of how we react to situations and being able to handle how we deal with it. For some this can be done by prayer, or taking slow, deep breaths. Personally, when I encounter frustrating situations I sometimes say to myself, “Patience is a virtue” over and over until I can control my emotions.

Of course, there are a lot of self-help books and resources in the internet that tackles adjustment and coping. One good site (www.GuideToPsychology.com) I stumbled across gave a sound advice when encountering frustrations:

“When feeling frustrated, instead of getting angry at the situation or at others, sit back, relax, and wait. Say to yourself:
As things develop, I will, through listening to guidance from my unconscious, adapt to changing circumstances and grow with them.
I may not get what I want when I want it; I trust that things will work out in their own good time, for my ultimate benefit, as long as I remain calm and peaceful.
I may not get what I want at all, and yet, in remaining calm and attentive, I may discover something else that I need even more than what I thought I wanted.”
(Richmond, 1999)

I think this is a good reminder that sometimes we just need to let go. That in order to have a stress reduced life we have to take responsibility of our self and adjust calmly to frustrations.

unlimited

2009-02-24T16:16:00.002+08:00

habang nanonood ng tv...

[important character blurts out a puchline]

aco2: ano daw?

aco5: [mumbling]

aco2: ano?!

aco5: sabi n'ya...[mumbling louder]

aco2: ha?!

aco5: ano ba?! hindi ako UNLIMITED ha..!

hinayaan ko na lang ang punchline sa tv... mas matindi pa pala ang banat ng kapatid ko...

*******

patience is a virtue.

ito ang paborito kong mantra. kapag umuugong na ang dugo sa tenga ko kapag tumataas ang presyun sa kakagigil sa mga bagay-bagay sa opisina, eskul, bahay, at madlang world ito ang palagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko.

it works. usually. pero minsan hindi eh.

may mga panahon talagang masarap magtaas ng boses, umirap ng malutong, at magwala ng laser-beam look ala Cyclops sa kawawang nilalang na magkamaling magkrus sa paningin ko... [insert evil witch laugh here]

pagkatapus ay huhugot ng malalim na hininga...

[inhale]

at bubulong sa sarili...

[exhale]

patience is a virtue...

afterall... if what we say doesn't make a difference or create something positive, it will just be wasted breath.

and we're all living on a limited supply of those.

Culture Shock

2009-02-22T14:37:00.002+08:00

Guest Post #4
Mga Kwentong Dubai Part 4
Ni: Codename Tasuki
Originally Posted 20 July 2006 BarkadaAdvisory YahooGroup

*******

Isa sa mga pinakamahirap na pagsubok na hinarap ko nang unang dating ko dito sa Dubai ay ang pagsaulo ng mga panaglan at mukha ng mga tao. Maliban sa mahirap ibigkas ang mga pangalan, halos nagkapare-pareho pa ang tunog. Ang mga mukha naman ay halos magkahalo-halo na. Kumbaga sa tinapay, sabay-sabay tinimpla at niluto sa isang pugon. Kaya… ang mga mukha nila ay mass-produced.

Halos malito na nga ako sa office dahil magkamukha ang aking Director at ang aming messenger. Kapag hindi naka neck tie ang boss ko, pwede silang ipagpalit ng upuan ng kanyang utusan. At maniwla kayo at sa hindi, ang pangalan ng boss ko ay Pramood. Samantalang ang pangalan naman ng messenger ay Vincent.

Syempre, kung may mga common faces, meron din namang mga outstanding looks. Kung kaya naman ang isa naming kasama sa office ay sobrang kinikilig sa kasama naming Lebanese.
Si Nati ay isa ding Pinay, may asawa at dalawang anak sa Pilipinas. Pero kapag nakikita niya ang kasama naming Lebanese, bumabalik siya sa pagkadalaga. Ilang beses na pinupuna ni Nati na ang mga ibang lahi ay yumayakap at humahalik sa isa’t isa kapag nagkikita, kahit parehong mga lalaki. Noong isang linggo, napabalita na ang Lebanon ay binomba ng Israel. Kaya mas naging malapit ang mga Lebanese sa kinilang mga Muslim brothers gaya ng mga Jordanian, Syrian, at iba pang mga Arabs.

Kaya naman nakahanap ng pagkakataon si Nati na kunwari makiramay. Nagsimula na siyang lumapit sa mga Lebanese at kunwari naki-osyoso. Isang araw, naitanong niya sa crush nya… “Why do you embrace and kiss whenever you see each other?”

Sagot ng Lebanese… “Well its part of our tradition.”

Di na nag aksaya ng panahon si Nati. Niyakap nya ang mamang gwapo at hinalikan. Sabay sabi… “You know, I am beginning to like your tradition.”

Pero huwag ninyong isipin na tayo lang ang naguguluhan sa kanila. Malamang, nalilito din sila sa atin.

Gaya ng isang Pakistani taxi driver na nasakyan ko noong isang araw. Di siya mapakali habang nagmamaneho. Siguro hindi na siya makatiis, tinanong niya ako… “Are you Chin? Chin?”

Sagot ko… “What’s Chin?”

Sabi niya… “Chin… from China.”

Sabi ko sa kanya… “Oh no. I am not Chin. I am Japs”

Napangiti ang driver at sinabi… “Oh, I see.”

Based on my true experience… igalang ang Copyrights.

i am so ENGAGED...

2009-02-17T11:56:00.004+08:00

not with anybody in particular, but with life in general...

life is good and i'm loving it... yeah! rock on!! hahahaha

*******

for the sake of posterity, i'm gonna relay here the events of the past week which will forthwith be known as "Brownies and Valentines Week"...

Day 1: Sunday
- Lunch with Library Dood (LD)... had to rise to the challenging message about eye contact and missing you/missing me connotations... :P
- Dinner with the girls at Afrique's. Menu: triple mushroom pizza, ozzo buco with tomato sauce, meatball pasta... great catching up with the girls and office gossip (nahaha). set date for next saturday night out.

Day 2: Monday
- Lunch with Tygger-kun... unexpected visit... Menu: sisig and boneless bangus... hmmmnnn not bad... will definitely try the sisig again... :D

Day 3: Tuesday
- Dinner with BFF... after waiting almost an hour! held on to patience thinking that she needed a little slack considering her dilemma... Buto't Balat menu: sisig meal, pork barbeque, and salted egg salad... only the salted egg passed... yikes!

Day 4: Wednesday
- got stuck with checking time logs... annoying payroll preparation...
- made first batch of brownies... packed some for the BBF and BFF...

Day 5: Thursday
- Brownie points success!
- Waited over an hour for BFF... really irritating how she keeps me waiting. helped carry the groceries though... that appeased me, somewhat.
- pizza experiment at home with the BFF and BBF... nacho pizza!!!
- Baked second batch of brownies... for bragging purposes... bwahahahah

Day 6: Friday
- raincheck on BBF movie date... waiting for a good romantic movie...
- Family dinner... repeat of pizza experiment: bacon and tomatos, tuna and mushroom melt... yummy... nacho pizza is now officially on the specialty list... lol

Day 7: Saturday (Valentines Day)
- walk about at SM city (can't remember when i last went) and met LD while waiting for the girls...
- Tijuana! menu: tijuana special pizza, chips, fries, cheesesticks, Latino Fire... who say's a group date doesn't count as a celebration of Valentines???!!
- official singles group now known as: Tropang Latino Fire (care of DD)... hahahaha open for membership, next meeting M's b-day on Mar 6... lol

Day 8: Sunday
- full circle... took day off to make brownies for LD...
- met highschool peeps at Rob and inadverdently got invited to LD's house... wahahahaha life is funny!

needless to say... i had a blast and hit my target of topping last years Valentine's social calendar... wooohooo!!

*******

here's a little something from brother utoy's blog, a quote from Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ:

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is,
than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you will do with your evenings,
how you will spend your weekends,
what you read, who you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in Love
and it will decide everything."

:D

Its Complicated

2009-02-12T18:24:00.002+08:00

ito ang relationship status na pinaka asam-asam ko... alam ko hindi maganda ang connotation nito... its either bawal na pag-ibig, bigu, o katupakan lang talaga ang sitwasyun mo kapag ganito ang status message mo...

pero kasi, nag promise ako sa sarili ko na mag change stat ngayong araw ng mga puso... may deadline kasi. dapat married na ako by age 28... so kahit man lang sa guniguni ko pagbigyan na ninyo...

nasa "in relationship" na ako ngayon, by saturday, february 14, 2009... "engaged" na yan!! oh ha!! ang saya ng lola... sa birthday ko: "married"!! at pagka tapos nun... "its complicated" nah!! (evilsmirk) bwahahahaha

magiging eventful talaga ang 2009 ko... lol

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on a more serious note...

may i-share akong txt message (oo! buhay na nmn ang txt life ko.. wak kayong magulo! bleh!) galing sa peborit txtmate ko... well, s'ya lang nmn kausap ko araw-araw at gabi-gabi, basta lang hindi maubos ang load at mawalan ng baterya ang tupakin kong selepon...

eto ang sabi nya: "sang may ubra na, pauna una kuwa wallet bayad bills. sang may nobya kag asawa na, padamo damo na rason indi kaupod."

(ng may trabaho na, pasikat labas ng wallet mauna magbayad ng bill. ng may nobya't asawa na, paramihan na ng rason na hindi makasama.)

napatawa talaga ako... sa isip ko lang, this sums up our generation quiet nicely! hahahahaha

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FYI...

natandaan pa ba ninyo si Prayer? yung secret textmate ko... well... na upgrade na ang status n'ya... officially: STALKER na sya!!!

kainis!!! ayaw magpakilala pero kng ano anong detalye alam sa buhay ko!!!

pwes!!! jan ka sa sulok! kala mo mag-rereply pa'ko sa'yo....

eto sa'yo!!

09107827926 -----> pinamimigay ko ang number na to... naghahanap ng katinuan yan.. so pwede n'yong asarin ng todo!!

BWAHAHAHAHAAHHA

Pototan Stars

2009-02-09T17:53:00.004+08:00

pictures from last december's visit to pototan.

love song for no one

2009-01-25T17:05:00.000+08:00

how do you know you're in love?

i've once contemplated this question while at the height (yes mataas po) of a relationship... the answer, well the most noteworthy change i noticed, was that i paid more attention to love songs..

i love music. i like all kinds of songs. usually certain songs would trigger memories and sometimes even illicit physical reactions... a grimace of pain, a fluttery feeling in your tummy, a sudden jerk in the solar plexus, a goofy smile on your face... i know, cheesy but true nonetheless... these reactions become more pronounced when i'm in what i would label as the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. so much so that some songs would render me immobile and truth be known stupified (reminds you of a song?)...

anyhow, ever since i arrived in this barren wasteland that is ironically deemed a love life, i've started to review the songs that once melted me into a love-hazed stuppor... just so i get to feel that "loving feeling" again... ahahahaha

try and guess the title of these songs...

"Cause sometimes it seems/Like this world’s closing in on me,/And there’s no way of breaking free/And then I see you reach out for me" ---> brrrr... this one gave me goosebumps just hearing the intro... i'd stop and stare at nothing for a good long while after it ended, too... looking back: EEEEWWWW! (yeah it didn't end so well this one)

"When the rain is pouring down /And my heart is hurting /You will always be around /This I know for certain " ---> recommended and is officially a theme song for someone... although the video is seductive i think this song can apply to a close friend, a really close friend... lol

"There was a time, that I just thought/That I would lose my mind/You came along and then the sun did shine/We started on our way/I do recall that every moment spent/Was wasted time then I chose to lay it on the line" ---> this is the reason why i call "sunshine" one of the best guys i've been lucky enough to be given a chance to love...

"So you stole my world/Now I'm just a phony/Remembering the girl/Leaves me down and lonely" ---> he said it reminded him of me... i was not impressed, at all...! unfortunately i can't erase the association...

"Im going crazy, Im losing sleep./Im in too far, Im in way too deep over you./You'll always be the one./You were the first, youll be the last." ---> should have realised when i found this on his playlist that it wasn't a good omen... hahahah they say this is the best break-up song of its genre...??!

"I, get a little tongue twisted/Every time I talk to you/When I see you/And Im so glad that you just missed it/The way I stared to memorize your face/To kiss you in my mind/Love you all the time" ---> untarnished... this is a favorite... probably because no bad memory is attached to it...

"And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,/And I get to kiss you baby just because I can./Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,/And you know that's what our love can do." ---> the second line on this stanza never fails to give me a fluttery feeling in the stomache... i always watch out for this line... sigh...

"if i ask of you, is it alright?/if i ask you to hold me tight/through a cold dark night," --->classic! i'm still waiting for someone i can play this song to... missed playing the guitar too...

"Ikaw na ang may sabi, na ako'y mahal mo rin/At sinabi mong ang pag-ibig mo'y di magbabago/Ngunit bakit sa tuwing ako'y lumalapit ika'y lumalayo?/Puso'y laging nasasaktan pag may kasama kang iba" ---> makes me want to shout all the swear words i know... and then cry in despair... huhuhuhuh

"I remember the days we spent together/Were not enough/And it used to feel like dreamin'/Except we always woke up/Never thought not having you/Here now would hurt so much" ---> every word so true... my solace in his absence...

"Ako'y nangangarap na ika'y makasama/Taglay ang pangakong iingatan kita/Ang ganda mong nahubog sa piling ng masa/Hinding-hindi kukupas, di malalanta" ---> pol... guitar... tambayan... chess... and all those who serve the people...

"Searching all my days just to find you/I'm not sure who I'm looking for/I'll know it/When I see you" ---> well i am kinda tired of waiting... "so hurry up and get here"... no wonder i love this song...

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all right, i'll make it easier for you... mulitiple choice instead of fill in the blank... lols

here are the artists and titles.. match it up...

john mayer: love song for no one
musikang bayan: rosas ng digma
gloria estefan: i see your smile
vertical horizon: best i ever had
first circle: ako'y sa'yo at ika'y akin lamang
fm static: tonight
america: all my life
kris lawrence: when i see your smile
paul maccrane: is it okay if i call you mine
michael buble: everything
alicia keys: no one
cheap trick: the flame

second chances

2009-01-21T20:15:00.005+08:00

have you ever been in a rebound relationship?

i think i have... and i think its not much different than a non-rebound one... not if you fall in love for real.

it starts off innocuously enough. you find someone that eases the pain of your recent break-up, or gives you excitement in an otherwise stale romance. you tell secrets that you wouldn't dream of sharing with your other friends. you honestly and truthfully confide your fantasies, failures, pain, and grandest hopes. you tell each other its nice to have someone who doesn't make demands, who doesn't judge... who only gives. and then, you find that you spend more and more time together, share ever more intimate moments... until one day, the lines are blurred between just being friends and, somehow, being lovers.

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couple days ago i watched My Sassy Girl. it's a nice romantic comedy with a very interesting question: is it right to manipulate other people just to make you feel better? and what happens when the other person believes the make-believe scenarios and thinks its real? what happens when you both fall in love with each other, thinking all the while that what you had was real? when the lines are blurred by love, is it alright to go on pretending?

the movie had a happy ending... and somehow, for all its romanticism, i hope, i pray, that someday i'd find that same ending... no matter how it may have started.

i just wish that somehow, honesty and truth will find its way to love.

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i had my chance at being consoled and affirmed... now i want to find someone i can offer that same unconditional regard... to give healing and comfort when things somehow seems too complicated...

someone i can tell: "it matters to me. i want to know your past so i may heal what may need healing and share the pain of those i can't."

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life is simple. it need not be complicated.

how i wish i can have that some day...