SP's Freaksters Corner

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-01T05:10:00.001-08:00

I am now working for a company named Actonate, so been busy lately... anyway Happy new Year to my readers..

Some Best Ads!!!

2009-03-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

David Blaine

2009-03-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

Funny SMS Jokes

2008-10-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

-->>
My heart problem has reached a critical stage...

The doctor says:
There r only 2 options left...
ICU
Or
U C ME.

-->>
Funny shayri...
Aap jaise dost

Ise duniya mein dost kam milenge,
Ise duniya mein gam hi gam milenge,
Jaha duniya najar fer legi,
Use mode par tumhein ham milenge

Dost vo jo bin bulaye aaye,
Bevajah sar khaye,
Jeb khali karwaye,
Kabhi sataye,
Kabhi rulaye,
Magar hamesha saath nibhaye

Zikar hua jab khuda ki rehmaton ka,
Hamne khud ko khushnaseeb paya,
Tamanna thi ek pyare se dost ki,
Khuda khud dost bankar chala aaya

Dua karte hai hum sar juka kya,
Ae dost tu apni manzil ko paaye,
Agar kabhi teri raho mein andhera aaye,
Roshni ke liye khuda hum ko jalaye

Suna hai khuda ke darbar se
Kutch farishtey farar ho gaye
Kutch to vapas chale gaye
Aur kutch hamare yaar ho gaye!

Praying Rocks!! Amazing!!!

2008-10-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Its amazing tilt your face to the left and watch the picture.....the rocks form structures praying.....

2008-09-14T07:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Frenz,

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar: Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is all India Radio!

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

A few of Santa n Banta....

2008-09-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

Latest Santa Banta Jokes
Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."
Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first -
the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry? BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Santa: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

How did Panditji Kill a Lion?
Panditji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Hari Om!

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Santa: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Y did'nt u try to Xchnge?
Santa: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Santa tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".

Sardar and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring?
He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

What does Santa do after taking a xerox?
He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Santa proposed to a girl......
Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Santa said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After Seeing he went to Delhi. Guess why?
The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."
Santa stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!".

Santa - "why are all these people running?" Banta - "This is a race, the winner will get the cup." Santa - "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?"

19 Sardars went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group, they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Santa recently found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Santa wins 20 cr from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket. The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes.
Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!"

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"
Pat came Santa's reply: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep?
Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

2008-05-17T00:28:00.000-07:00

What's redtacton?
Ans:- RedTacton is a new Human Area Networking technology that uses the surface of the human body as a safe, high speed network transmission path.

-	RedTacton uses the minute electric fieldemitted on the surface of the human body. Technically, it is completely distinct from wireless and infrared.
-	A transmission path is formed at the moment a part of the human body comes in contact with a RedTacton transceiver. Physically separating ends the contact and thus ends communication.
-	Using RedTacton, communication starts when terminals carried by the user or embedded in devices are linked in various combinations according to the user's natural, physical movements.
-	Communication is possible using any body surfaces, such as the hands, fingers, arms, feet, face, legs or torso. RedTacton works through shoes and clothing as well.

How it works?

Ans:- Using a new super-sensitive photonic electric field sensor, RedTacton can achieve duplex communication over the human body at a maximum speed of 10 Mbps.

1. The RedTacton transmitter induces a weak electric field on the surface of the body.
2. The RedTacton receiver senses changes in the weak electric field on the surface of the body caused by the transmitter.
3. RedTacton relies upon the principle that the optical properties of an electro-optic crystal can vary according to the changes of a weak electric field.
4. RedTacton detects changes in the optical properties of an electro-optic crystal using a laser and converts the result to an electrical signal in a optical receiver circuit.

Note that RedTacton transceivers which integrate transmitters and receivers are also available.

How to communicate using it?
Ans:-

The transmitter sends data by inducing fluctuations in the minute electric field on the surface of the human body. Data is received using a photonic electric field sensor that combines an electro-optic crystal and a laser light to detect fluctuations in the minute electric field.

- The naturally occurring electric field induced on the surface of the human body dissipates into the earth. Therefore, this electric field is exceptionally faint and unstable.
- The photonic electric field sensor developed by NTT enables weak electric fields to be measured by detecting changes in the optical properties of an electro-optic crystal with a laser beam.

About human area networks....

In addition to the WANs (Internet) and LANs, there are applications best served by Human Area Networks (HANs) that connect the last meter.

Human society is entering an era of ubiquitous computing, where everything is networked.
By making Human Area Networks feasible, RedTacton will enable ubiquitous services based on human-centered interactions and therefore more intimate and easier for people to use.

by,

Satya Pramodh

Same Work - Same Pay?

2008-05-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he
spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over
here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

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He said: " Try to do it when the engine is running ".

Computer Fun!!!!!

2008-04-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Early days of Google

Internet Addicts

Computer servicing

Windows Boooooooting

Head Drive

Windows Suck

Firefox Vs Explorer

The New MS-Word

The Magic Calculator

Google 2084

2008-04-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

Mentos funny ads!!!

2008-04-09T01:07:00.000-07:00

How monkey became man:-

Mentos-Lift:-

Mentos classroom:-

Mentos Ad SQUEAKY SHOES :-

Airtel Song Catcher AD

2008-02-15T02:47:00.000-08:00

Haunted!!!

2008-02-13T02:04:00.001-08:00

Freaky stuff!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-13T01:36:00.000-08:00

How many legs?

Count the dots if u can!!!!

Are the lines parallel or do they slope?

Eskimo or Face?

Focus on the dot and the haze will disappear

Circles or Sprials?

Stare at the bulb for 20 seconds, then stare at something white and the bulb will glow!

How many colors you see?

Stare at the eye of the red bird while you count slowly to 20, then look immediately at one spot in the empty bird cage.
The faint, ghostly image of the blue-green bird will appear in the cage.
Try the same thing with the green bird.
A faint magenta bird will appear in the cage.

What do you sEe?

Move your head towards the screen and see what happens

Does God Exist?

2008-02-13T01:29:00.001-08:00

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good ?

Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God.. .

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer. )

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

( Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him ?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events .)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat,

But we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.

Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre .)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't.

If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar .)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent . The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH .

That is all that keeps things moving & alive....... ......... ..

Now, you decide for yourself.....

9/ (+) 11=20 ---A Sophisticated Proof

2008-02-13T01:09:00.000-08:00

Incredible things happen in America...

1. Fold a $20 bill into half

2. Fold again,take care 2 fold it as below

3. Fold the other end, exactly as below...

4. Now, simply turn over, THE TWIN TOWERS ABLAZE!!!

5.What a coincidence?? A simple geometrical fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills.


Firstly The Pentagon on fire..		Then The Twin Towers...

... and now... look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL!!!

Also.... 9 + 11 =20!!!!!!!!

Jokes

2008-02-13T01:06:00.000-08:00

HEY TAKE THIS SPORTIVELY...

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile.
Santa: Chal police ko de kar aate hain.
Banta: Agar koi bum raste main hi phat gaya to?
Santa: Jhoot bhol denge, ki 2 hi mile the.

SANTA going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahannikle"SANTA gets furious & slap him & says" Oye. mashoka hogi tero. Meri tobehan hai"!

An American and a Sardar were walking down the street when the American exclaimed-- look a dead bird.The Sardar looks towards the sky and says -- where, where ??

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks...takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks,Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun

Santa Singh returned back from the cinema hall without watching the cinema.what was the name of the cinema?
Ans:NO ENTRY

Santa : Which is the most painful delivery in world?
Banta : sunny deol ki maa ki.Santa : woh kaise?
Banta : woh nikla gaddi le ke.....

Santa dials a number, A girl recieves the call
santa: who r u?
girl: sita
santa: maine to chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh toyeh to ayodhya mil gaya.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

SANTA : car me battery lagwane gaya, Mechanic ne poocha "EXIDE" kilagaun?
SANTA bole: yaar, bar-bar kaun ayega DONO SIDE KI LAGADE!

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hihoti hai. Mummyne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

• In a train compartment
husband: Darling, mujhe totumhari aatma sepyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Maintumhari rooh kochahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daaldoon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

• Santa & Banta were going with their friend on onescooter & a traffic cop tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkulbhi jagah nahinhai

• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?Santa: For u n ur parents

• Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place isopen

• Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statueu've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyonghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhneka samay 9am-11am

• A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

• Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it?
Banta: Many years ago,some husband saidto his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good!Bye!At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst myhand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He haslost his head.Is he crying?

• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

• Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the wholenight. He gotirritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sabmaroge!

• Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage badoSanta aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve numberpe tha

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.

• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha.Driver nesheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai,piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

• Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

• Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio saysThis is allIndia Radio!

• Banta: U looked troubled, what's ur prob?
Santa: I'm going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it yet

• O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanujawaanan di badilor hai

.sardar proposed a girl....girl said "i'm 1yr older to u", ......sardar said 'oye no prob soniye ,i'll marry u next year

.sardar told his servant :go and water the plants.
servant:its already raining. sardar:so what take an umbrella and go.

.sardar:why r all these people running ?
man:this is a race and the winner will get the cup.
sardar:if only the winner will get the cup,why r others running?

Universal Newtons (Luv) Laws

2008-02-06T01:43:00.000-08:00

First law: A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.

Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.

Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend

David Blaine Under Water at the Lincoln Center - NY May 2006

2008-01-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

Steve Jobs Macworld 2008 Keynote in 60 Seconds

2008-01-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

Why is the sky blue?

2008-01-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

Answer:-

Transmitted light(form the sun, light blubs, fire etc) is made up of a spectrum of colors. The longest wave lengths of light are on the red end of the spectrum and the shortest wavelengths are on the blue/violet end of spectrum.

When transmitted light such as sunlight enters our atmosphere it collides with the oxygen and nitrogen atoms. The color wid the shorter wavelength is scattered more by this collision. Because violet and blue are the shortest wavelengths and the sky appears 2 b violet/blue. But because our eyes are more sensitive 2 blue light than they are 2 violet light, we perceive the sky as blue.

Shyari 4

2008-01-16T23:07:00.000-08:00

Funny SMS II

When u feel sad...

To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,

"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.

But don't make this a habit.....

Coz liars go to hell !!!!

one day Love and friendship met.

Love asked-when i already exist why are you here?

friendship replied "to make faces smile when u leave the tears!!!"

Friendship is the best thing in the world as there is no scope for tears if your friend is good.

.If you love someone, put their name in a circle,

instead of a heart, because hearts can break,

but circles go on forever

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge,

I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

To handle yourself, use your head;

To handle others, use your heart.

Smile a while and while you smile,

smile another smile and soon there will be miles

and miles of smile just because you smiled,

i wish your day is full of SMILE

Muskura do jara khuda ke vaste,

sama-e-mahefil mai rosni kam hai,

tum hamare nahi to kya gum hai,

hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?

Hi i am marrying next week

there will be a small party and

only few persons will be invited

Hey don't bring any gift

just bring SOMEONE to marry me..

A good Friend is like a computer

he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself

in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles

and never DELETE you from his heart.

a friend is sweet when it is new...

it is sweeter when it is true....

but you know that.....

it is the sweetest when it is u..

a friend is sweet when it is new...

it is sweeter when it is true....

but you know that.....

it is the sweetest when it is u..

Chehre pe ashko ki lakeer si ban gayi

Jo na chaaha tha vo takdeer si ban gayi

humne to chalaayi thi ret pe ungli

gaur se dekha to unki tasveer si ban gayi

Mountain can fly,river can dry

you can forget me but never can i

Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki

har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai

sochta hu ki ghar ki bijli katwa du

kambaqt bill bohat aata hai

Door rehkar bhi yaad karenge

yeh mat sochna ki bhool jayenge tumeh,

agar dost bankar raas na aaye

to ajnabi ban kar yaad aayenge tumeh

destiny decides who u meet in life

but its only your heart that can decide

who gets to stay in your life.....

Have a heart that never hardens

have a smile that never fades

have a touch that never burnt

and have friendship that never breaks.

If u drop me i ill break if u hold me i ill shake

if u need me i ill hurry, if u don't call me i ill worry

if u hurt me i ill cry but if u leave me i ill die.

Meaning of Friendship : -

F-------FOREVER

R-------RESPONCIBLE

I--------INTELLIGENT

E-------EAGER TO MAIL

N-------NICE

D-------DIVINE

S--------SIMPLE

H-------HEARTLY

I--------INTERSTED

P-------PEACEFUL

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you're not

46. I saw your face as you walked by

but then I saw a better guy

I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away

What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "go to hell"

Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

jawaab teri shayari ka....

denge hum shayari mein....

naam tera likh baithe hain....

apne dil ki diary mein....

If u are a chocolate you are the SWEETEST,

If u are a teddy bear you are the most HUGGABLE,

If u are a star you are the BRIGHTEST,

and since you are my friend...U R THE BEST !!!

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota

Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,

Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati

shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

Don't shut love out of your life by saying

it's impossible to find.

>The quickest way to

receive love is to give;

>The fastest way to lose

love is to hold it too tightly;

>And the best way to

keep love is to give it wings.

Dil ki aavaj bhi sun

mere fasaane pe na jaa

meri najaroN ki taraf dekh

jamaane pe na jaa.

Haseeno ne haseen banke gunaaah kiya,

auro ko to theek humko bhi tabaah kiya,

pesh kiya jab ghazaloN mein unki bewafaii ko,

auro ne to theek unhone bhi waah waah kiya

Yeh jo haseeno ke baal hote hai,

ladkon ko fassane ke jaal hote hai,

na jaane kitno ke khoon piye honge inhone,

tabhi to inke honth laal hote hai

Love is sweet poison:

Do not consume without your beloved's advise

and keep out of reach of children

and keep it in cool and dark place.

Promise me we are true friends

I am lamp you are light

I am Coke you are Sprite

I am Sawan you are badal

I am Normal you are Pagal

I am Water you are Tanki

I am Tarzan you are Monkey

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye

Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....

Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo for detail

Hi Vajpaye needs 500 donkeys to attack on Pakistan. 499 ja chuke, message milte hi niklo...

Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few people will be invited...so i am inviting you...don't bring any gift with you...just bring someone to marry me...!!!

Yeh jo haseeno ke baal hote hai,

ladko ko fasaane ke jaal hote hai,

na jaane kitno ke khoon piye honge inhone,

tabhi to inke honth laal hote hai

Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam

ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN"

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain

Yeh to unke bache hee kamine hain,

Jo Mamma-Mamma bulaate hain.

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de

tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de

Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna

Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

Tussi Hasde yo sanu hasaan vaaste

tussi rone yo saanu rovaan vaaste

ek vaar rus ke ta vekho sohneyo

Marr javange tuhanu manaan vaaste

Ae dil kissi ki yaad mein rona fijul hai

ye aansoo bade anmol hain inhe khona fijul hai

royo to unke liye jo tum par nisaar hain

unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hain

Hi Vajpaye needs 500 donkeys to attack on Pakistan. 499 ja chuke, message milte hi niklo

Shyari 3

2008-01-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

Funny SMS I

What is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes

that the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey

plz contact zoo for detail

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila

jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya

to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

Vo sochte honge usko aksar,

jo hamein unke salaam de jaati hai,

vo kya jaane unhein choone waali hawa bhi,

hamein unke saare paigaam de jaai hai!

Someday u may lose ur hair.

u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.

But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.

coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

You look so fine!I want to...

break your heart and give you mine

You are like the sunshine so warm,

you are like sugar, so sweet...

you are like you...

and that's the reason why I love you!

Love is like war...

Easy to start...

Difficult to end...

Impossible to forget

Do you believe in love at first sight

or do I have to walk by again??

I've seen angels in the sky,

I've seen snow fall in July,

I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,

But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People

Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do It.

Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More

But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,

RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,

PEPSI ka cr8 ho,

ANDE ka oml8 ho,

SMS KARNE ME bade le8 ho,

JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,

KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,

Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,

Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun

isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon

A Friend is Sweet when its NEW

Its Sweeter when its TRUE

But you know that its the sweetest when it is U.

Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai

Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.

Phoolon se khoobsurat koi nahi.

Sagar se gahra koi nahi.

Pooja-paath se faldayak koi nahi

Ab aapki kya tarif karu...

Dosto me aap jaisa...Nalayak koi nahi!

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,

tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,

tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,

keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,

20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

God created the earth,

God created the woods,

God created you too,

but yes, even God makes mistakes!

've seen angels in the sky,

I've seen snow fall in July,

I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,

But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom

& without ugliness there can be no beauty

so the world needs YOU after all!

The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass & flowers 2.

If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

Our friendship means a lot 2 me.

U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.

U jump out of the window...

I look down & then... i lauf again

SMS vo gyaan hai jo baatne se badhta hai

aur jisko karne par punn ki paraapti hoti hai

is liye hai Praani tum Bill ka mooh chod do

aur karam (SMS) karo..............

tabhi tumahra manusshya janam safal hoga

If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me.

If u save it thats bcoz u desire me

& if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me.

So what u gonna do with It?

Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye

waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai

Kaho Na Pyaar Hai

Kya mooh dukhta hai

A triangle has 4 end,

square has 3 end,

segment has 2 end,

but our friendship has no end.

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya

Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

Kaun sa gam hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai

na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai

aur khama-kha chedti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko

Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chada rakha hai

Dil ke dard ko dil todne waala kya jaane

pyaar ke rivajo ko ye jmaana kya jaane

hoti hai kitni takleef kabar mein

upper se phool chadane waala kya jaane

Jis din se juda vo humse hue

is dil ne dhadkna chod diya

hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra

taaro ne chamkna chod diya

Shyari 2

2008-01-16T23:03:00.001-08:00

Computer Shayari

Apne chehre se ruswaiyoon ka ERROR to hatao,janeman apne dil ka PASSWORD to batao!

Wo to hum hai jo aap ki chahat ko dil mein rakh ke ghoomte hai,warna aap jaise SOFTWARES to bazaar mein bikte hai!

Roz raat ko aap mere sapno mein aati ho,mere pyar ko MOUSE bana ke apni ungaliyoon se nachati ho!

Tere pyar ka E-MAIL mere dil ko lubhata hai,par beech mein tere bhai ka VIRUS aa jata hai!

Keval aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT karte hai,warna baki CASES mein COPY PASTE se kaam karte hai!

Aap ka hasna,aap ka chalna,aap ki wo style,aap ki in aadaoon ki humne SAVE karli hai ek FILE!

Ab aur nahi sah sakte hum intezaar,humare dil ki SITE pe jaldi ENTER kato yaar!

Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,

Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!

Shayad mere pyar ko Taste karna bhool gaye...

Dil sey aisa 'cut' kiya

Ke 'paste' karna bhool gaye...

Laakhon honge nigaah mein kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...

Mere pyaar ke 'icon' pe

kabhi to 'double-click' karo...

Roz subha hum karte hain pyar se unhe good morning...

Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain

jaise '0 errors aur 5 warning'...

Aisa bhi nahin hai ke I don't like your face.

Par dil ke storage mein

there is no more 'disk space'.

Ghar se jab tum nikale pehen ke reshmi gown.

Jaane kitne dilon ka

ho gaya 'server down'.

Jabse meri zindagi mein,aayi hai ik female.

Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh

kya computer, kya e-mail.

Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.

Pyaar se 'debug' karna mein wait kar raha hoon.

Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.

Yeh dekho mera connection'time out' ho gaya..

Nazar mein to kai hain Par dil se ek wo only hain...

Problem yehi hai ki voh

ab 'read only' hain...

Tere Pyar ke liye zami-aasma ek kar doonga...

Tu naa mili to apni zindagi 'Ctrl+alt+delete' kar doonga...