SRKindredSpirits

Terminal Progressive Neurodegenerative Brain Disease Explained:

2026-06-29T23:23:05.620-04:00

My Brain Is Dying;

I have a Terminal Progressive Neurodegenerative Brain Disease.

Yep, that's a mouthful! 🤣 Basically, your brain controls everything.... eating, memory, walking, swallowing, temp control, nerves, muscles, etc., and my brain is actively dying. Being cold, and being around people make it worse. It is permanent, and incurable.

Even if you mean well, it's not open for discussion, and we are NOT going to answer questions. I have done all the research. Talked to all the specialist's. I have my own nutrition business. I research something until it's dead. I don’t want to hear your ideas, or what your sweet, little, old, Aunt Betty said, or what new therapy or cure you heard on TV. Not what doctor, treatment, new drink or excersize you think will help. It's rude and inconsiderate. Please, I beg you - keep your opinions and your doctoring to yourself.

Please, don't feel sorry for me. I don't want sympathy or to be treated different. Medicine can help, but it doesn't fix the issues - some will make me sick, and take lots of adjustment. Stick with me - I have my good days and bad days.

Those who've been around me the last three years are expecting me to shake. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Medicine takes care of some of the tremors. If my hands, feet or head are shaky, it's okay to let me know that you recognize that I'm shaky today. It's also ok to ignore it. Just please don't stare - I am well aware of the fact that I'm shaking. Sometimes I will hold my hand or put it in my pocket. Sometimes I have to sit or grab onto something to balance myself if my legs start shaking. Treat me as you always have. What is a little shakiness between friends?

Someday's I can't write, turn a page in a book, hold a plate, butter a peice of bread, or keep the food on my fork to eat. Sometimes its hard getting dressed, combing my hair or putting on makeup. On bad days, I might need to take a break and try again later. Be patient with me.

I've gotten really good at using my left hand to shake hands with you. I know it may feel awkward, but go ahead and offer to shake my hand even if I'm shaking. It allows me to be able to still feel normal. If I can't use either hand, I'll just tell you politely that I'm not shaking hands today.

Hugs are hard for me. I've never been a fan of hugging, but when you add the shaking and me being unbalanced, it makes it uncomfortable for me. Please don't expect a hug. It's not you. It's me.

I may lose my balance, stumble, and need help walking or need something to hold onto. I'm not drunk. Some days, I may need help getting out of a chair or climbing steps. It's the disease. My body will continue to get weaker.

Sometimes I may freeze. Sometimes I can't lift up my foot. Give me some time and It will go away. It's just as awkward for me too.... like I'm telling my foot to move, yet it stays there... it's the weirdest thing.

My memory isn't always good. Words have a way of disappearing. Most of the time I know what I'm trying to say, but the word isn't coming out. Sometimes I have to describe the individual word until I can get to it. I may use alot of hand motions or I may stop talking altogether - sometimes my brain is all scrambled.

Sometimes I cry and appear to be upset. It is the disease. Keep talking to me, ignore the tears - I will be ok in a few minutes.

You think that you don't entertain me anymore because I'm not grinning or laughing. If I appear to stare at you, or have a wooden expression. that's the disease (I hear you. I have the same inelligence), It just isn't as easy to show facial expressions. When someone is saying something funny or making people laugh, I have to tell myself "thats funny, I'm supposed to smile." - it takes way more thought and effort than it used to.

Sometimes swallowing is a problem. Eating is difficult- like food won't go down - it even happens with things like water and ice cream. Sometimes I may drool, This bothers me too. I'm sorry.

Don't tell me to stop losing weight. I'm not trying to. It's the disease. Most of the time food doesn't sound good, look good or taste good. If I do eat, alot of times it makes me feel sick. Or, the food gets stuck in my throat and I can't swallow. Sometimes I eat very little. Other times I eat a whole slice of cheesecake!

I am almost always cold. That's also the disease. My body doesn't regulate temperature anymore. My thermostat is broken. I take a blanket with me just about everywhere. When I get cold, it can take hours with multiple blankets to get me warmed back up.

My nerves don't always send the correct signal to my brain. Sometimes I feel bruised everywhere, even if no one is touching my skin. Sometimes I have internal tremors, where I can feel my arm moving, but to look at it, its not.

Eating, digestion, going to the restroom.... it is all complicated and changes by the minute. It's not fun at all. If I need to excuse myself 4 times in 20 minutes, I'm okay, but it's just what I gotta do.... it's the disease, roll with it.

I'm getting 'dropsy'! I drop stuff all the time. I can't always feel my grip on something loosen. To me, I may feel like I have a firm grasp, but yet it falls out of my hand and I can't feel it.

We are ready to go somewhere and as I get up, I can hardly move. This stiffness or rigidity is part of the disease. Let me take my time. I'll get there eventually. Trying to hurry me won't help. I can't hurry. If I seem jerky when I start out, that's normal. It will lessen as I get moving.

You may notice my voice is changing. I sometimes have trouble singing. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Thats the disease. Listen to me. Let me talk, and get my thoughts together and speak for myself. I am still here. My mind is O.K. My thoughts are just slower. I want to be part of the conversation, please let me speak.

I can't sleep at night, most of the time, that's the disease too. It has nothing to do with what I ate or how early I went to bed. I may nap during the day. I may fall asleep during our conversation. I can't control it. Let me sleep when I can.

Being around people makes all my symptoms worse. It is very stressful just getting ready to leave the house. I don't come to a lot of events. And if I do, I usually leave early. I'm not trying to be rude. By the time I'm back home - I'm completely worn out and it sometimes takes days for me to recover.

If I offer to have you come for dinner, dig some plants to share with you, hold your baby, make a cake, arrange some flowers, ect. Please let me. It may tire me out, but it's something I want to do. I still want to feel needed.

Also, home is a safe place for me, it's where I can be my most normal 'old' self, if you come to me, it's alot better than if I have to leave. It's just the way it is.

Please be patient - I need you. I am the same person, I've just slowed down. I may not be able to do some of the things I used to do, but I want to continue to be a part of your life, and enjoy my life the best I can.

And remember.... not everyday is a struggle. On some days, I am good. I work in my flowerbeds and garden. I still love to drive (and I'm good at it!). I still make food for my family, keep my house well, run a business www.srkindred.com from home, and do all the things a wife and moma does. I still enjoy traveling, decorating cakes, making crafts, crocheting, working in the barn with the goats and chickens, loving on my spoiled house rabbit 'Smushy' - spending time in nature with my family and singing when I can. I am the auction chairperson for the Delaware County Farm Festival. Some days are really good. I don't need to be reminded that a bad day is around the corner... I'm well aware of that. Please let me enjoy having a good day!

“It’s not how long you live, it’s how long you live well.”

I'm Back....

2026-04-29T19:41:00.000-04:00

Well, It's been awhile since I've been here.... thought I might give it another go. Sometimes I have so many thoughts, I'd like to get out.... other times it seems like life is blank.

Since I've last posted, there's been a few things happening....

I had a small stroke.

I was diagnosed with a Terminal Progressive Neurodegenerative Brain Disease - and since you're brain controls everything - somedays are a doosie!

Our special needs son graduated from school. And bought his first truck. He works full time with a construction company and part time for a show pig farm. He works hard, and makes decent money and started investing in his first IRA.

He is currently rebuilding a v8 engine to put in his pickup truck. He did finish rebuilding his Grandpa's Kabota B6000null. He still wants to refinish the bucket and put on new hydraulic lines, but time is something he hasn't had alot of lately!

Also, how is he already 19???

Our youngest daughter turned 16 yrs old and got her drivers permit. She is doing high school online this year, and is on track to graduate early.

She has been playing in the Youth Symphony Orchestras of East Central Indiana. She is currently in the Intermezzo Ochestra and Intermezzo Orchestra Plus - she has been the first chair (concert master) for the last 5 semesters.

She is also taking classes to learn film, soundboard, microphones etc.

Our oldest daughter turns 25 this year! She has chosen to live her life without us in it, and while it is super hard on a moma's heart, its her choice.

I miss her so much, and love her always, and will always be here with open arms!

Stephen and I have been married over 20 years - somedays it seems like forever, other times it seems so short.

We have enjoyed a few anniversary trips.

We completely remodeled the whole house.... Stephen did all the work himself, including building all the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, putting in the flooring.... everything.

He works 12 hours overtime every week and usually works one or two shifts on the weekend! He really could use alittle down time in his life!

I go to alot of doctor appointments!!!

But. I still have my little Shaklee business and want to focus on trying to build that up a bit more in the next couple years.

Thank you to everyone who shops with us. It really does make a difference to our family!

Shaklee has came out with some awesome new products and I can't wait to share them with you!

After six years of being asked to join, I became the Auction Chairperson for the Delaware County Farm Festival. It is something new that I am enjoying and a way I can give back to the community.

I still drive part time for the Ford Dealership. I absolutely love driving. The longer the drive, the better! - it's the best relaxation for me... music turned up, diet mt dew, traffic, and a whole lotta miles!

I've gotten to see some pretty neat things on my trips.

I will probly share some of what's happened over the last few years.... but I may back date the posts so they are in order.

Anyway, if you are still hanging around - thank you! It's good to be back!

- Rhoda

Jesus In Every Book of the Bible

2024-12-05T12:13:00.001-05:00

In Genesis, Jesus Christ is the Breath of Life.

In Exodus, he is the Passover Lamb.

In Leviticus, he is our High Priest.

In Numbers, he is the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.

In Deuteronomy, he is the prophet like unto Moses.

In Joshua he is the captain of our salvation.

In Judges, he is our judge and lawgiver.

In Ruth, he is our kinsman redeemer.

In 1 & 2 Samuel, he is our trusted prophet.

In Kings and Chronicles,he is our reigning King.

In Ezra and Nehemiah, he is the rebuilder of the broken down walls of human life.

In Esther, he is our Mordecai.

In Job, he is our ever-living Redeemer.

In Psalms, he is our Shepherd.

In Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, he is our wisdom. In Song of Solomon, he is our loving Bridegroom.

In Isaiah, he is the Prince of Peace.

In Jeremiah, he is our righteous Branch.

In Lamentations, he is our weeping Prophet.

In Ezekiel, he is the wonderful four-faced man. In Daniel, he is the fourth man in life’s fiery furnace.

In Hosea, he is the faithful husband, forever married to the backslider.

In Joel, he is the baptizer of the Holy Ghost and fire.

In Amos, he is our burden bearer.

In Obadiah, he is mighty to save.

In Jonah, he is our great foreign missionary.

In Micah, he is the messenger of beautiful feet. In Nahum, he is our strength and shield.

In Habakkuk, he is God’s evangelist crying, “Revive thy works in the midst of the years!”

In Zephaniah, he is our Savior.

In Haggai, he is the restorer of God’s lost heritage.

In Zechariah, he is the fountain opened up in the house of David for sin and uncleanliness. And in Malachi, he is the Son of Righteousness rising with healing in his wings.

In Matthew, he is the King of the Jews.

In Mark, he is the servant.

In Luke, he is the Son of Man, feeling what you feel.

In John, he is the Son of God.

In Acts, he is the Savior of the world.

In Romans, he is the righteousness of God.

In 1 Corinthians, he is the rock, the Father of Israel.

In 2 Corinthians, he is the triumphant one, giving victory.

In Galatians, he is your liberty, he set you free. In Ephesians, he is the head of the Church.

In Philippians, he is your joy.

In Colossians, he is your completeness.

In 1 & 2 Thessalonians, he is your hope.

In 1 Timothy, he is your faith.

In 2 Timothy, he is your stability.

In Titus, he is truth.

In Philemon, he is your benefactor.

In Hebrews, he is your perfection.

In James, he is the power behind your faith.

In 1 Peter, he is your example.

In 2 Peter, he is your purity.

In 1 John, he is your Life.

In 2 John, he is your pattern.

In 3 John, he is your motivation.

In Jude, he is the foundation of your faith.

In Revelation, he IS your coming King!

He is the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. He is the keeper of creation, and the Creator of all. He is the architect of the universe, and the manager of all times. He always was, he always is, and he always will be. Unmoved, unchanged, undefeated and never undone. He was bruised and brought healing. He was pierced in his pain. He was persecuted and brought freedom. He was dead and brought life. He is risen and brings power. He reigns and brings peace. The world can’t understand him. The armies can’t defeat him. The schools can’t explain him, and The leaders can’t ignore him. Herod couldn’t kill him. The Pharisees couldn’t confuse him. People couldn’t hold him. Nero couldn’t crush him. Hitler couldn’t silence him. The New Age can’t replace him. And science can’t explain him away. He is Life, love, longevity, and more. He is goodness, kindness, gentleness, and God. He is holy, righteous, mighty, powerful, and pure. His ways are right, and the Word is eternal. His will is unchanging, and his mind is on me. He is MY Redeemer. He is MY Savior. He is MY Guide. He is MY Peace. He is MY Joy. He is MY Comfort. He is MY Lord, and He rules my life.

- Unknown

To My Youngest Child

2023-03-17T07:30:00.023-04:00

Happy 13th Birthday to my beautiful Adilayia Rose!

It's hard to believe my baby is a teenager! Being your momma has been extra special! I've always said God knew that we needed you, when he brought you into our family! When you were little, your joy for life was unmistakable! Your honesty and courage makes me so proud. I hope your determination to always do the right thing will guide you through life

You are so much like your daddy. You grew up way to fast! Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

- mom

You didn’t make me a mama. Your pregnancy wasn't planned.

You didn’t get a baby shower, or any type of celebration.

Not as many people visited you at the hospital as your older siblings, and very few came to our house when we first got home.

You didn’t get a new car seat, or a new baby swing.

Most of your clothes are hand-me-downs.

Your monthly milestone pictures were late by a day or two, and I have far less bump pictures from my pregnancy with you.

Most of your toys come well-loved from a box stored in the attic instead of brand-new from the store.

You didn’t get a brand new crib, and you had to wait until 12 to get to have a room of your very own.

Some things were different with your birth, but I want you to know that one thing remains the same.

No matter what, the love that I have for you is equal to the love that I have for your older siblings.

Your “firsts” were just as exciting to me as they were when your older siblings experienced them.

I felt the same amount of joy when the doctor placed you on my chest for the first time as I did when I met your brother and sister.

And I was and still am just as excited to watch you grow, and help shape you into the person you’re made to be.

I love you the same. From the second that I saw those two pink lines, to my very last breath.

I love you,

- Mom

(copied and modified from - Paige Martinek)

Letting God Take Care Of It

2023-02-13T00:08:00.004-05:00

I'm human.... big shocker, I know....

No, seriously, I struggle with forgiving as much as anyone. But today, 2 Timothy 4:14 stood out to me and it made an impact...

I told the hubby and kids, from now on, when ever I feel wronged by someone, I am gonna say "...the Lord reward him according to his works."

So many times, we hold grudges against people, fretting over how we've been wronged, etc. When in reality, if we just leave it in God's hands, we can know that God will take care of it fully...

"Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: You also must beware of him..." - 2 Timothy 4: 14-15a

It is a certainty of life, that sooner or later we will be hurt by someone else. Sometimes people hurt us accidently, other times it is intentional. Sometimes they hurt us by their actions, other times it is by their words. At times, the wounds are superficial and heal quickly and at other times they are deep and scar us for the rest of our lives. However you want to say it, you can just be assured at sometime in your life, you are going to be hurt by another person. I have been.

What exactly did Alexander do to Paul? We have absolutely no idea -- Paul never tells Timothy or the readers of his letter. The word translated "harm" is the Greek word kakos - which means: "something which is depraved or evil." The word translated "much" can mean: "a large amount or something which occurs many times." Whatever Alexander did to Paul, it was no small thing. It was deeply hurtful and must have either been done repeatedly or it was something that had a long lasting effect.

Here, we learn an important principle, Paul refused to dwell on what had happened to him. He refused to allow bitterness and hatred to crawl into his brain.

People will slander you. They will exclude you from their group. You will be criticized unjustly. Another worker might block you from a promotion. The one family member you think would never disappoint you might someday betray you. A fellow Christian whom you love and respect may hurt you very badly. What in the world can we do when other people hurt us with their words and their actions?

Refuse to become angry and bitter.

The fastest way to become embittered is to dwell on the wrong others have done to you. Paul learned to forgive and forget and go on down the road of life. You know that you are on the road to bitterness when you continually review and rehearse the video tape in your brain of what was done to you. It is watched, and then rewound, and watched again and again.

The effect of wrath and bitterness can be deadly. Most of us have seen the signs placed on trucks and other vessels carrying hazardous materials. The acid we carry around when we are bitter will invariably spill as much on us as it will be poured on the one who has harmed us. Anger and bitterness and stress will physically increase your blood pressure, emotionally lead you into depression, spiritually sour your worship and prayer. Carrying a grudge is a loser's game. The grudge you carry will end up causing more pain and frustration than the original pain inflicted on you.

Leave the revenge to the Lord...

Romans 12:19-20 "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves.... for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord."

The word "avenge" is the Greek ekdikeo which means: "to vindicate one's rights, to punish a person."

Did you see the secret to Paul being able to let go of the wrong brought upon him by Alexander? He said,

"May the Lord repay him according to his works."

The Lord reward him according to his works; It is the language of one who wished that God would treat him exactly as he ought to be treated.

It should be the aim of every just government that every one should be treated exactly as he deserves; and every good citizen should desire and pray that exact justice may be done to all. It is the business of a police officer to ferret out the guilty, to bring them to trial, to secure a just sentence; This should be done with the most earnest desire for the welfare of all.

It is not wrong to desire or to pray that justice may be done, and that every man may be treated as, under all the circumstances of the case, he ought to be treated.

I am afraid that we sometimes have given people the impression that if you love God enough, you will just forgive the person and go on as if nothing really happened. What we have failed to state is that, yes, often what that person did to you was indeed terrible and should be punished. That is the reason we hurt so badly. We know that an injustice has been done and that it should be punished. But, it is one thing to acknowledge that God ought to punish that person, and a far different thing to decide to become God and do the punishing for him. Forgiveness does not mean that the injustice did not occur or that it should not be punished. But it is coming to the place and point of trusting that God is much better at administering justice than we are. Forgiveness means deferring the scales of justice to him. That may be the most difficult thing in life to do.

And lastly, 2 Timothy 4: 15a says "You also must beware of him..."

There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling someone what someone has done or warning someone of the evil or wrong doings that person has done to you or could do to them.

They key is.... after you warn others, just leave it to God, 'cause he's got this!

This blog post has been modified and condensed to get to the of what my thoughts on this Bible verse are. You can read the full article at:

https://www.bereanbiblechurch.org/transcripts/2timothy/when_they_hurt_you.htm

Red Cookies and Thoughts of a Messed Up Mind

2023-01-23T03:38:00.045-05:00

My 12 year old was to take either a pink or red snack for her Sunday school class.

No problem.

Most 'normal' moms would go buy a snack or make a snack. And that would be the end of the story.

Easy.

Oh, but not me....

You see, I am about the farthest thing from normal you'll ever find! (I really don't mind being "not normal"... I just don't enjoy stressing over every little detail, and all the what ifs make me exhausted on a daily basis).

I live with Chronic Stress (along with multiple autoimmune diseases and cancer). I know most people say they are "stressed out". But for me, the term "stress" has a much different meaning. My body is actually unable to process stress.

There are medical terms - but the easiest way to understand it is simply know what the effects of stress can do to a normal person - then multiply it by 100 - that's what stress is like for me. When my body is stressed - it attacks my cells and literally tries to destroy its-self.

Pretty much everything causes me stress....

So here's a little bit of what taking a snack to Sunday school class looks like in my messed up mind... And what I put my family though on the norm....

We have a whole week to figure out what snack to take. W

I think about it off and on pretty much all week....we look online a little almost every day, but we are having a hard time thinking of something....

Now it's Saturday.... we can't put it off any longer.

It's crunch time!

My daughter and I spend hours looking at pictures of pink or red snacks on Google and pinterest. She loses interest and comes and goes.

I keep looking.

I could make pink popcorn trail mix.

No, my daughter has braces and can't eat popcorn.

I'll make knox blocks or jello roll ups.

Nope, my daughter hates jello - it jiggles... (she gets that from her Grandpa Frick).

I'll make Cupcakes.

She says it's too common and everyone will bring cupcakes.

She doesn't like chewy candy, so anything like starbursts, or fruit roll ups, or sweedish fish are out.

Not that I have any of that in the pantry anyway....

She finally has comes up with something she likes..... and it's pink!

Strawberry Mochi.

Ok, cool idea!

But, she'd have to put it in the freezer at church and then go down to the kitchen during class to get it back out of the freezer....

Not sure that would work great.

Wait.

I don't have any strawberry mochi in the freezer.

And I'm not driving all the way to town to get some.

Maybe we could make pink or red white chocolate covered pretzels?

Or mini strawberry cheesecake in muffin tins?

She doesn't like any of my idea's...... here's where I tell her to stop being so stubborn and just pick something!!!

Hallelujah!!! We finally find the idea a fruit kabobs with chunks of watermelon, strawberries and red grapes.

Perfect!

It's something my daughter will eat, it's red and pink, and it looks cute!

Problem.

I don't have watermelon, and only have frozen strawberries, and fresh green grapes.

I call all the little stores around us. No one has fresh watermelon or strawberries.

I could go to town and buy some.

I am not driving over an hour to get watermelon and strawberries for a Sunday school snack.

Scratch that idea.

At this point, I try convincing my daughter that apples are red. We can cut up apple slices and make a pink fruit dip...

She says that's too messy. Plus, we'd have to take paper pates for everyone, and I don't have any paper plates.

By this time I have invested most of the day into finding a snack....

I now have a headache.

We finally decide to just make homemade chocolate chip cookies, add food coloring, and be done with it.

Simple. Right?

Wrong.....

Since we dyed the ookie dough red, you couldn't tell when the cookies were done in the oven, because you couldn't see them turning brown like you normally would.

This then causes a whole new worry.

Are the cookies cooked all the way through or are they over done?

The first batch was too gooy..

Let's put them back in the oven.

But for how long?

I don't want her to take dry, hard cookies.

The first batch of cookies looked too puffy, so we flattened the second batch before baking.

The second batch was too flat, so we tried to only flatten the third batch just a tiny bit.

But then are there gonna be enough cookies that look all alike for her to take?

I don't think so.

So, we left the last batch puffy to match the first batch...

I think there is enough!

Now we have the question of how many cookies to take?

One for each person in the class?

Two?

They are really small cookies... should we do three?

No, surely if everyone brings a snack, one cookie per person would be enough.

But what about visitors?

Maybe we should add in a few extra.

Good, That's settled. One a peice, plus a few extra. I can live with that logic.

What to put the cookies in?

I get out a clear container.... they fit perfectly.

But what is she supposed to do with the container after Sunday school?

Bring it into the sanctuary with her?

That's not really being reverent to God, carrying around a cookie container.

Maybe she can just leave the container in the classroom and then we can go get it after church?

But what if we forget it?

Maybe she should take it out to the car after Sunday school?

But the car will be locked, and she doesn't always remember the unlock code. Plus, it's cold and snowy outside.

Maybe she can have her older brother take it to the car for her. He knows the unlock code and he is wearing boots.

But his Sunday school class doesn't get out as soon as hers, so she'd be standing in the hall holding a container, waiting for him.

Oh, nevermind.

Maybe I should just put them on a paper plate with plastic wrap over top?

That way if they eat them all, the plate can just be thrown away.

But it's snowy and windy. And paper plates are flimsy. What if the wind whips the plate and cookies go flying everywhere?

And if the class doesn’t eat them all, I will still be carrying around a paper plate with red chocolate chip cookies in church!

Nope, I'll leave them in the container.

We'll leave the container in the classroom.

I'm sure one of us four will remember to pick it up after church is over.

Now I can worry about forgetting the container from now until after church....

.......

I walk by the kitchen a bit later and think, 'I wonder if anyone will want to eat red chocolate chip cookies? They seriously look like play dough.'

Maybe I should've just drove to town for the fruit.

No, that's ridiculous.

The cookies are fine. They taste good. And it's not every day you get to eat a red chocolate chip cookie!

And then the next thought strikes....

What if some kids are allergic to red dye? (It really is a thing.)

Oh Lord, please don't let any kid have an allergic reaction to these cookies!

I'm exhausted.

I guess I'll ll just have to trust God to keep the kids from dropping dead while they eat red dyed, play dough looking, chocolate chip cookies....

I'm going to bed.

But then, I lay wide awake thinking about what other red or pink snack we should have made.

Wondering if I have any ingredients or the extra time in the morning to make something else.

Sleep doesn't come.

And I get to go through the process all over again in the morning when it's time to get ready for church....

Most people never understand how stressful that just getting ready to leave my house is for me....

Welcome to my messed up mind.......

...... it's crazy up in here!

Not Everyone Wants a Hug

2022-12-13T11:06:00.001-05:00

It's Christmas time and everyone, everywhere is giving out hugs.

Some people love it.... some people hate it. I happen to fall in the last category. Don't get me wrong.... I love a good hug with the people I love.... I love hugging my husband, my kids, my best friend Joe, and a few other people that are important to me..... like my father-in-laws, my ex-husband, my little sister, and my Grandpa Stump - he gave the best hugs ever!

However, I'm really not into hugging most other people.... acquaintances, coworkers, extended family, brothers, sisters, in-laws, neighbors, a stranger, your uncle, the aunt who wears too much perfume, the cousin you only see once a year, etc.... The uninvited embrace from someone you barely knew or used to know — like a relative assuming a familiarity that doesn’t exist.

It seems everywhere you go, all throughout the year, people wants to hug... at weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Sunday church, etc. Oh, and don't get me started on veiwings and funerals....why is it people think that compassion is hugging a stranger, three feet from the dead body of your loved one.... it's not compassion, its torture.

Seriously, my daughter (11 yrs at the time), had a great uncle that she didn't even know come up and give her a big bear hug at her Grandpa's veiwing. It made her extremely uncomfortable, to the point she felt like she wasn't safe in the funeral home and wanted to stay in the room where she could see me.

No one should be forced to show affection, regardless of their age and gender. What if you want to hug one family member, but not another? (Sounds harsh, but don’t act like you have never had that thought come to you!) That's just being human.

Hugging people I am not super close to makes me uncomfortable. For starters, my brain simply cannot fathom the appeal of being physically squeezed by fellow human beings, as an expression of affection. And, if I suddenly find myself at the receiving end of an embrace, I cringe inwardly and freeze as I try to grin and bear it. The worst is when they say, "I know you're not a hugger, but I got to have a hug!" - um, no you don't have to... if you want a hug that bad, find someone who actually wants a hug, and go to town!

On the other hand, if I do reluctantly initiate a hug to fit into this world full of raging hug-aficionados, those hugs feel forced and awkward.... I have no idea how much to lean in, or what to do with my hands — do I pat the person? Or, do I just awkwardly put my hands on their back? Which side do I tilt my head to? Do I use both arms? What if I use only one arm, but it’s the same side arm they use, and our arms meet in the middle, then what? And, don’t even get me started on the boob issue! (True story, one of my very conservitive aunts who I hadn't seen in years was setting at a table, I was standing, she wanted a hug, so I reached down to hug her and realized I had one hand on the side of her boob the entire time!) Don't get me wrong, I don't have a thing about boobs... I like boobs 🤣, and if it was my little sister or daughter or close friend, we'd have had a good laugh! But, it was with someone I'm not close to, and was extremely awkward.

No thanks, I'll pass.

Hugs are supposed to feel good. They are supposed to be friendly, affectionate, warm expressions of a bond. They are not requirements, commands, or rituals you have to unlock before you can get to the next part of the day, activities, or conversation. They should be totally optional and voluntary. If people don’t make you feel good with their hugs or you don’t feel good about hugging them, you shouldn't feel forced to hug them.

As someone who doesn’t care for hugs, I wish I could just wear a sign saying, “I’m not a hugger!” or "No hugs please!"

Often, I want to speak up and say, in a self-deprecating tone, “You know me, cold as ice, hate hugs!", but I am usually not quick enough to get it out! Or maybe this line: "I’m sorry. I don’t want to be touched right now, but would you stay and talk for a bit?”

I may be weird, but I really don't want to hug you. It's not you, it's me. Most touch is unwanted – and even with my hubby and my kids, I have limits. I’m happy to give them a hug, but I’m not comfortable letting it linger it for a long time. I also get anxious if people stand too close or if I’m in a crowded room of people with very little personal space. For instance, if I'm in the kitchen, you are welcome to sit at the bar and talk to me, (in fact I love it when you do) but please, stay out of my kitchen!

Seriously, ask my kids, I am not a hugging, cuddleing type of mom... even though I love them more than any thing in the world. (For example, at night my husband goes and seeks each kid out at bedtime to tell them goodnight, say he loves them, and gives each one a long hug. I always make sure to tell them I love them and say goodnight, but I don't give hugs regularly.) I have taught my kids that if they want/need a hug to simply ask for one by saying, “Hey, I need/could use/would like a hug,” and I will hug them, and it will feel good to me because I'm doing it for my kids. But I don't want people hanging on me.... not even my kids!

Some people suffer from haphephobia, which can make hugs overwhelming for them — while it’s causes remain unknown, experts believe it could be a result of social anxiety, “People who have higher levels of social anxiety, in general, may be hesitant to engage in affectionate touches with others, including friends.” Some believe that upbringing may play an important role in whether or not an individual grows up to appreciate hugs. While others believe it is caused by trauma.

I honestly don't know why I don't like hugs or alot of touching. I remember even as a kid. I had a cousin who always wanted to hang onto my hand. I hated it and would always try to pull away, and if I managed to get free, she'd just grab my hand again!

Going to a get-together and leaving a get-together are very much dreaded for me. I hate the hugs everyone that hasn't seen you in awhile think they have to give when you arrive.... from people you haven't talked to in months, too me, it seems fake, like people just do it 'cause they're supposed too. I usually try to make sure I have something to carry in my hands or go to another room and linger getting out of my coat, or just try to slide in without people noticing.

And then it starts all over again when you're ready to leave, everybody comes at you with a hug. I'd rather, just leave and not tell anyone so I can escape the overwhelming, suffocating, lingering goodbye hugs.

If you hate being hugged, the world can be a challenging place. Last week, I was in the check out line at Aldi, and this random lady comes up, hugs me and starts talking about the pumpkin seeds she was buying and how I got in the same line as her, etc. Don't get me wrong, she was happy, bubblely, and full of sunshine, and I enjoyed talking to her. But the hug.... well, that was actually quite rude and very uncomfortable for me.... Just like that, you never know when someone you’re meeting for a quick coffee, (or a complete stranger) will approach you, arms open wide, coming in for an embrace. Your options are limited: you can awkwardly dodge the gesture, stick out your hand for a handshake, or submit to the unwanted bear hug. It’s really hard for some of us to find the words quick enough to say a polite "no"!

So, if you are a hugger.... find your people, you know - the huggy, feel-ly, type ones, and hug to your hearts content. I won't mind, I promise! But unless you are closely acquainted with someone (me), just skip the hug. The reason is simple: while you might be comfortable with it, not everyone else—even those who might go along with it quietly—are.

Ask permission. It’s the most important thing you can do, If you go in for a hug and the person recoils, step back and don’t take it personally. “It’s not always about you.”

Read body language. Body language speaks volumes. If something about how another person is moving is telling you to back up — a grimace, a loss of eye contact, they step back — respect it

Operate under the guidance that touch is not allowed until you are given consent. “When it comes to other people’s bodies and spaces, be respectful!" No one owes you a hug. It's not your right, it should be mutually wanted by both parties.

And if you are like me.... here is your reminder:

You Don't Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.

P.s. To the people I actually am close to... don't worry - I do like your quick hugs!

The Hope Raisers Book Review

2022-12-06T22:18:00.002-05:00

When Mr. Nihar Suthar contacted me to review his new book, 'The Hope Raisers', I honestly wasn't sure I'd be interested. But I love this book and the idea that all it takes, is for a few good people to do something they believe in and they can inspire and have a lasting impact on so many more people than they will ever know!

As, a teen, my Grandparents started a Misson in Kenya, Africa. And I have heard many stories and saw lots of pictures of how the Kenyans live... this book took me right back to watching my Grandpa's picture slides, listening to his stories, and singing 'Nothing But The Blood of Jesus' ('Hakuna kitu ila damu ya Yesu') in Swahili!

Ok, back to the book....

This story is told honestly, without tiptoeing around the crushing poverty experienced by the Characters. They have never known life outside the world of poverty and slums they were born into.The hardships of unemployment, scant education, water and food scarcity, gang violence, rapes, killings, corruption, etc., which so few of us stop to realize exists...

This book highlights the remarkable impact that a few determined individuals can have on their community, even in the most challenging of conditions.

You feel like you are truly beside Mama Bonie in the huge Dandora dump, as she daily picks through trash, hoping to find food for her family, or recyclables to sell just to get enough money to be able to buy food for supper. Or like you are walking along side of Daniel and Mutura, trying to raise money you so desperately need, to help kids in the slum have hope for a better future. You can skate along with Lucy, and Chumbana, as they get the opportunity to venture outside of their environments for the first time, You see all this through their eyes. Their experiences make you consider just how much we take for granted here in America.

The Hope Raisers is a grassroots initiative in the slums of Nairobi that offers a program of music, arts, and activities for kids. Faced by setbacks and misunderstandings, their resilience and determination continue to make a positive difference in their impoverished neighborhood.

Hope almost always starts small, but Hope can make a big difference. Simple actions matter.

You can purchase The Hope Raisers here

If you'd like me to review a copy of your book, please send me an email to: rafsk@aol.com. Please note, I only review physical books, no ebooks. I always post my reviews on this blog and at Amazon.com.

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher/author. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Kubota B600 Restoration

2022-11-15T00:42:00.004-05:00

Ok, so thought I'd post some pictures of what's been happening! Only problem is, I don't really know much about tractor parts or rebuilding one.

Wyatt had a great week! He received a $100 check in the mail to use towards rebuilding his tractor from a wonderful, generous couple! Wyatt was so excited, he said, "mom, I think I'm getting spoiled!"

Stephen is keeping track of the spending... so I don't have the exact numbers, but as of now, we are about $2,000 into it and haven't started putting it back together yet. Parts are hard to find since it's old (1974) and wasn't super mass produced... (the tractor was built in Japan and was only built for 4 - 5 years) and when we do find parts, they aren't cheap! We are trying to keep it as original as we can, but somethings we simply can't find.

It means the world to us that folks are willing to help Wyatt with this project! We appreciate you!

If you want to help Wyatt with his project, you can donate here --->>>

https://gofund.me/8d43f3ba

(The money goes directly to Wyatt and is used for his tractor).

Kabota Corporation heard about Wyatt's story and sent him out a swag box with a few hats, and Kubota trinkets, pen, logo's, keychain, and magnetic parts bowl, etc.

I love that #KubotaUSA does this!

Today the pistons, sleeves, rings, gaskets, bearings, and oil pressure sensor was delivered all the way from Cyprus (Middle East)!

Heres some pics of the process....

Head

Front Axle

Stephen scraping the gasket off the front cover....

it was stuck on good!

Crank Shaft

Cleaning the throttle assembly

Miscellaneous Parts - muffler, throttle, clutch, gas line, belt, starter, toolbox, etc.

Top of the engine block with pistons removed

working together...

This little Kubota that his Grandpa gave him has been all he's talked about for the last 7 years!!! I found a picture of him with it back in 2015 when my dad was putting it together.

Wyatt (8 yrs old) with the Kubota B6000 at

his Grandpa Fricks 2015

This little Kubota is going to be beautiful when it's totally restored! Wyatt struggles so much with normal life things, it makes my Mama heart so happy that he gets so much joy out of this little diesel tractor and that he can learn and help rebuild it with his dad!

Introducing Shaklee Bundles

2022-11-07T13:31:00.001-05:00

They are here! And they are beautiful! Shaklee Bundles target solutions for individual needs....

Ready Set Wellness Bundle with Vitalizer

Ready Set Wellness- Vitalizer

Step 1: Comprehensive Vitamins
Vitalizer™ provides advanced nutrition with a full spectrum of clinically supported vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytonutrients, omega-3 fatty acids, probiotics, and more in one convenient Vita-Strip®.

Step 2: Pick 2 Life Shake™ Flavors

Life Shake™ contains:

20 g Ultra-pure, non-GMO protein with precise ratios of all 9 essential amino acids to support energy and satiety
24 Essential vitamins and minerals to support heart, brain, immune, and overall health
6 g Dietary fiber and a proprietary prebiotic from an ancient grains blend to support digestive health and regularity
Powered by Leucine® to help build lean muscle, burn fat, and support metabolism#
Available in Pea Plant Protein or Soy Protein formulas

Step 3: Choose Your Boost

Boost your new nutrition routine by choosing 1 of the products below:

7-Day Healthy Cleanse
Completely reset your system, reduce cravings, improve sleep, and jump-start weight loss.*‡ Carefully selected supplements in convenient daily packets with a step-by-step guide and diet plan. Feel better in one week. Guaranteed.
Collagen-9™
Your daily beauty booster with all 9 essential amino acids, 10 g of collagen, and a powerful combination of biotin and vitamin C, to promote healthy skin, hair, nails, and joints.
Triple Defense Boost
Power your immune system with a great-tasting berry-flavored drink mix, packed with vitamins C and D, zinc, plant-based adaptogens, elderberry, and more. Supports, boosts, and defends your immune system, with ingredients shown to boost Natural Killer cell activity by 3x and critical immune cells by 5.8x.*∞ Enjoy hot or cold.

Organic Greens Booster
This whole food supplement packs the goodness of one cup of raw, organic, nutrient-rich green vegetables into every scoop—including kale, spinach, and broccoli—making it easy to get the vegetables you might be missing at meals. Just add one scoop or more to your Life Shake™ or try it in your favorite soups, stews, or pasta.

Sustained Energy Boost*
Face each day with long-lasting energy.* A boost of energy powered by caffeine from green coffee bean extract and green tea extract. Paired perfectly with chardonnay grape seed extract to support healthy circulation so you get the caffeine you need to keep you going.

Shaklee 180 Shake It Off Bundle

Burn fat, not muscle with leucine.

For weight loss that lasts, it isn't about food and exercise alone—you need the right nutrition and the right support tools. Powered by Leucine®, our clinically tested products help you keep muscle you have, burn fat you don't need, and lose inches you don't want.‡ Real science with real results.

Why does leucine work?

Supports lean muscle. Leucine is an essential amino acid that helps with protein synthesis to build lean muscle.
Muscle = Metabolism. Leucine-enriched protein helps your body preserve muscle mass, so you lose the right kind of weight and keep metabolism strong.
More is better. More muscle means a stronger, leaner-looking you.

You'll see and feel the difference. This is the beginning of a new you.

Your bundle contains:

One canister of delicious Life Shake™ packed with protein to curb hunger and increase energy. Available in Plant and Soy Protein formulas and also available in Stevia Free Soy Protein.
- 20 grams of non-GMO protein to keep you feeling fuller longer. Starting at 130 calories per serving.
- Clinically proven to help you reach and maintain a healthy weight.
- Powered by Leucine® to help you build lean muscle, burn fat, and improve metabolism.
- Proprietary prebiotic from an organic ancient grains blend enjoyed by humans for millennia, plus added digestive enzymes. Easy to digest, promotes regularity and digestive comfort.
- 23 essential vitamins and minerals and 200 mg of calcium plus ALA, an essential omega-3 fatty acid.
- Low glycemic, non-GMO and gluten free.
Two boxes of Meal-in-a-Bar, a great alternative to the Life Shake when you want a change, with 18-20 grams of protein to keep you feeling full and satisfied.
One box of healthy Snack Bars loaded with protein and fiber.
One box of Energizing Tea, a safe and natural way to head off the slumps.
One Metabolic Boost* supplement to help burn calories naturally and keep your metabolism going strong.
Program support, including a step-by-step guide and online access to tools, tips, healthy recipes, meal plans, exercise programs, and lifestyle information to help support your success.

Better Sleep, More Energy,

Less Stress Bundle

Dream Serene™
Clinically proven melatonin and a calming blend of valerian, lemon balm, and L-theanine work in blissful harmony to help you fall asleep and stay that way.

Sustained Energy Boost*
Contains 100 mg caffeine from green coffee bean extract and green tea extract plus chardonnay grape seed extract to support healthy circulation.*  That means it is designed to get the caffeine you need to boost your energy levels now and keep you going later.

Stress Relief Complex*
Contains a combination of L-theanine, ashwagandha, beta-sitosterol, and L-tyrosine to relax the body and mind and support a relaxed state without

Age Well Beauty Bundle

Vivix®
Slow Aging at the Cellular Level®

Vivix helps keep cells vital and strong using a natural blend derived from the world's most potent source of polyphenols, which have antioxidant properties and have been shown in laboratory studies to activate cells' defenses and protect against cell damage.

Revitalize Body Wash
A creamy, ultra-nourishing multivitamin body cleanser.

Formulated with soothing botanicals, powerful antioxidants, nourishing vitamins, and omega fatty acids to leave you feeling clean and replenished with a youthful, healthy glow.

Restore Body Serum
A ﬁrming, nutrient-rich, age-defying body treatment.

This silky serum helps slow the breakdown of collagen and protect against premature aging caused by free radicals with a patent-pending polyphenol blend, hyaluronic acid, and niacinamide for younger, ﬁrmer-looking skin with better tone and texture.

Nourish Body Lotion
A luxurious, long-lasting multivitamin body moisturizer.

This ultra-nourishing lotion is infused with shea butter, coconut, and antioxidants from a patent-pending polyphenol blend to help support the skin barrier and keep your skin looking younger and feeling smoother.

Collagen-9™
The most complete collagen product.

Includes all 9 essential amino acids, 10 g of collagen, and a powerful combination of biotin and vitamin C, to promote healthy skin, hair, nails, and joints.

Ready Set Wellness Bundle

with Meology

Ready to have more energy, sleep better, live healthier and feel younger?
Set your personalized path to true wellness and healthy habits in 5 minutes.
Wellness is in reach, with clinically proven products from the pioneers of wellness
Whether you want more energy, a boost to your beauty routine, immune health support, more vegetables in your diet, or a complete system reset, this bundle helps you make healthy choices each day and meet your personal health goals.

Step 1: Take Your Meology™ Assessment
Lay a strong foundation for wellness with your daily vitamins. Meology™ delivers personalized nutrition recommendations precisely for you—not people like you—with more precision, more power, more patents, and more proof than any of the competition.

Personalize – Tell us about yourself and get your custom recommendations.
Subscribe – Enjoy exclusive prices and stay stocked. Easily edit or cancel anytime.
Grab & Go – Convenient daily-dose packs make it easy to add to your routine.

Step 2: Pick 2 Life Shake™ Flavors

Life Shake™ contains:

20 g Ultra-pure, non-GMO protein with precise ratios of all 9 essential amino acids to support energy and satiety
24 Essential vitamins and minerals to support heart, brain, immune, and overall health
6 g Dietary fiber and a proprietary prebiotic from an ancient grains blend to support digestive health and regularity
Powered by Leucine® to help build lean muscle, burn fat, and support metabolism#
Available in Pea Plant Protein or Soy Protein formulas

Step 3: Choose Your Boost

Boost your new nutrition routine by choosing 1 of the products below:

7-Day Healthy Cleanse
Completely reset your system, reduce cravings, improve sleep, and jump-start weight loss.*‡ Carefully selected supplements in convenient daily packets with a step-by-step guide and diet plan. Feel better in one week. Guaranteed.

Collagen-9™
Your daily beauty booster with all 9 essential amino acids, 10 g of collagen, and a powerful combination of biotin and vitamin C, to promote healthy skin, hair, nails, and joints.

Triple Defense Boost
Power your immune system with a great-tasting berry-flavored drink mix, packed with vitamins C and D, zinc, plant-based adaptogens, elderberry, and more. Supports, boosts, and defends your immune system, with ingredients shown to boost Natural Killer cell activity by 3x and critical immune cells by 5.8x - Enjoy hot or cold.

Organic Greens Booster
This whole food supplement packs the goodness of one cup of raw, organic, nutrient-rich green vegetables into every scoop—including kale, spinach, and broccoli—making it easy to get the vegetables you might be missing at meals. Just add one scoop or more to your Life Shake™ or try it in your favorite soups, stews, or pasta.

Sustained Energy Boost*
Face each day with long-lasting energy.* A boost of energy powered by caffeine from green coffee bean extract and green tea extract. Paired perfectly with chardonnay grape seed extract to support healthy circulation so you get the caffeine you need to keep you going.

Jump Start Bundle

Life Shake™ contains:

20 g Ultra-pure, non-GMO protein with precise ratios of all 9 essential amino acids to support energy and satiety
24 Essential vitamins and minerals to support heart, brain, immune, and overall health
6 g Dietary fiber and a proprietary prebiotic from an ancient grains blend to support digestive health and regularity
Our new, low-glycemic sweetener system, Reb M + 5 g natural sugar cane

Meal-in-a-Bar
A complete meal-on-the-go
No time to sit and dine? Grab a Meal-in-a-Bar and go! The perfect alternative to the Shaklee Life Shake™ when you want a change, each chewy bar is packed with the healthful nutrients your hard-working body needs, including vitamins and minerals. High in protein and fiber to help keep you feeling full and satisfied for hours and fortified with the amino acid leucine to help your body retain lean muscle while you lose weight.

Meal-in-a-Bar provides:

18 - 20 grams of hunger-fighting protein
6 - 7 grams of fiber
Powered by Leucine®
Non-GMO soy protein
Gluten free
No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, or preservatives added

Finishing Touch Bundle

Collagen-9™ is the most complete collagen product, uniquely designed to include all 9 essential amino acids needed to support protein synthesis, including collagen. Combined with biotin and vitamin C, these crucial nutrients aid in promoting healthy hair, skin, nails, and joints.

YOUTH® Lash Revitalizing and Conditioning Mascara is a 2-in-1 lash conditioner and mascara that lengthens, volumizes, and lifts to help create fuller-looking lashes.

Specially formulated with our Botanical Complex to help strengthen lashes and encourage the appearance of longer, healthier-looking lashes
Features our unique Lash Protection Complex: patent-pending Muscadine Grape polyphenols and multipatented Vital Repair+® to help protect lashes and roots against environmental/free radical damage
Made from naturally derived mineral pigment to provide a glossy-looking black finish
Features an innovative 2-sided brush to help create a natural, elegant look:
- Shorter bristles grab close to the root, boosting volume and lengthening beyond belief
- Longer bristles create definition and lift even your tiniest lashes
Our smudge-free, ultra-moisturizing formula adheres immediately to lashes for a longer-lasting wear

Healthy Habits Bundle

Essential MultiV Drink makes it easy to take your daily vitamins with no tablets or capsules to swallow. Simply mix it with water for a delicious drink that contains 17 essential vitamins and minerals and helps keep you hydrated. The nutrients in this Peach Mango multivitamin drink help support brain, bone, and immune health, as well as energy levels, by providing the nutrition you may be missing at meals.

Omega-3 Gellys™ deliver 3x more DHA + EPA than other leading gummies—in a great-tasting Strawberry Lemonade flavor. A groundbreaking technology developed by Norwegian scientists helps the body more easily absorb the DHA + EPA in Omega-3 Gellys to support growing and developing brains, help maintain a healthy heart and cardiovascular system, help retain healthy triglyceride levels, and help support eye and joint health.

Optiflora® DI Probiotic
Optiflora DI delivers unique benefits via a proprietary formula with 10 billion CFUs with 4 bacterial strains, including the powerhouse Bifidobacterium lactis HN019™, which was proven in clinical studies to support both digestive and immune health.

Helps support intestinal flora balance/adds good bacteria
Helps maintain regularity
Helps reduce occasional gas, bloating, and constipation

Clinically proven immune support.
At least 70% of our immune system is in our gut. Optiflora DI adds "good" bacteria to our gut, supporting immune health.

Clinically proven digestive balance and comfort.
Helps maintain digestive health and regularity. Reduces the likelihood of occasional gas, bloating, and constipation.

Laboratory tested to survive stomach acid.
B. lactis HN019 is shown to survive passage through the digestive tract to reach the large intestine and deliver maximum benefit to the gut.

Optiflora DI is gluten free, soy free, and dairy free. No refrigeration required.

Inner Beauty Bundle

Vivix® contains a proprietary, all-natural blend of polyphenols based on the muscadine grape, featuring high concentrations of the polyphenols ellagic acid and ellagitannins, plus resveratrol. These key ingredients in Vivix have been shown in laboratory studies to help protect and repair cellular DNA and Slow Aging at the Cellular Level® by activating cellular defenses, neutralizing free radicals, and slowing the development of damaged proteins (AGEs) that may accumulate and lead to cellular aging.

Collagen-9™ is the most complete collagen product, uniquely designed to include all 9 essential amino acids needed to support protein synthesis, including collagen. Combined with biotin and vitamin C, these crucial nutrients aid in promoting healthy hair, skin, nails, and joints.

~~~~~~~~

Which bundle would you most like to try?

You can see more info at:

www.srkindred.com

Restoring Wyatt's Kubota B6000

2022-10-18T19:10:00.010-04:00

The guys have been working on Wyatt's little B6000 Kubota tractor. In between finishing the house remodel, splitting firewood, and getting things ready for winter.... it goes a little at a time. The last couple months Wyatt (with his dad's help) has been taking off parts and peices, sanding them down, filling in holes, and repainting them.

The wheels are finished and already put on the brand new tires! That new black rubber with the orange Kabota paint look sharp!

The fenders, hood, hand rails and dash has all been painted.

This week, they pulled the motor, and took off the front axle. Wyatt has been working at getting the grease off the motor.... that thing is filthy!

They have ordered most of the decals, but are unable to purchase some, so we are trying to find someone who can scan the images and make a few decals that we can no longer purchase.

The goal is to rebuild the motor this winter and by summer have it all put back together with a shiny new paint job!

Thanks for following along....

If you want to help Wyatt with his project, you can donate here --->>>

https://gofund.me/8d43f3ba

(It goes directly to Wyatt and is used for his tractor).

If you can't donate, please share. Thank you.

And you can read more about Wyatt here:

Emergency Brain Surgery

Wyatt's Little Tractor

To My Special Needs Son...

What Parents With Special Needs Kids Want You To Know

- I also post pictures from time to time on instagram at www.instagram.com/srkindred

Missing In Action!

2022-09-03T19:31:00.000-04:00

I've been missing in action lately! My mind has just been a bit foggy this year. I really think all the stress of taking care of dad (and dealing with some (not all) difficult family members), along with my own health (doctor constantly keeps changing my meds and everytime they change, it sets me back for a bit.), and us taking on a whole house remodel project simple has me emotionally drained... never mind the fact that the world seems to be spiraling out of control like crazy!!!!

I mean seriously.... I went almost a whole day (twice, I might add) with my jeans on backward!!! I'm not sure if it's stress or if I'm just getting old and senial???

Anyway. Life Happens!

It's not that I don't have things to write about... its more that I don't know how to get the jumbled up words in my head to make sense on paper...

Drugs...

2022-09-02T16:05:00.001-04:00

If Drugs Could Right a Poem....

" I destroy homes, tear families apart  - take your children,  and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold - the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

And if you need me, remember I'm easily found.

I live all around you, in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.

My power is awesome - try me you'll see.

But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.

You'll do what you have to, just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms, will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.

When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised.

I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything - your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and I'll take, till you have nothing more to give.

When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned this is no game. 

If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind.

I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed.

The voices you'll hear from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see.

I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do.

But you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen. 

Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away.

If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master; you will be my slave.

I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do?

Will you try me or not? 

Its all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell.

Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell."

Signed,
DRUGS

Gilmore Girls In Real Life

2022-06-15T10:14:00.000-04:00

Have you ever watched a movie and seen your family in the characters?

Well, back before I was married and until this day my ultimate favorite show has always been Gilmore Girls.

When I was a single mom, my one desire was to have the relationship with my daughter Faith, be like Lorelai and Rory.

I had my first daughter at a young age, and my parents were not wealthy, but were very conservative and lived in a different state. I did what I had to, to provide and care for my little girl.

Fast forward to years later, and now we watch the seasons on dvd as a family.

My oldest daughter is now 21. and like Rory, she has a talent to write, loves books, and is totally Rory in just about everything.... although she doesn't have a best friend that is Korean, but she loves K pop and everything about Korea.

My husband is totally Luke Danes.... though he doesn't own a diner, doesn't wear his cap backwards, and doesn't drive an old chevy truck.... He hates going inside a hospital. He has Luke's sense of dry humor and calm. He goes along with all my crazy ideas and is my rock. He stays busy completing my never ending honey-do-list.... I can always count on him. He's always there ready to help me out of the predicaments and he loves me unconditionally.

My ex husband is like Chris. Only instead of having money and a baby after our divorce, he had a few kids before we married and has no money. He's the kinda fun, random, not very responsible kind of guy. And although I have no desire to ever get back with him, I do still care about him and don't want to see him all alone.

Wyatt is like Jackson. He's sweet, a little bit clumsy and doesn't always fit in, but he has a good heart, and he has a great imagination, comes up with lots of inventions, and looks really good in a pair of bib overalls!

Our youngest daughter, Adilayia is a good mix of Lane and April and Paris (but in a good way). You can trust her to do what she's supposed to and to not get into trouble. Yet, she has just a bit of a wild side that you only see bits of from time to time! She has a different face for every emotion! She is a mix of alot, but yet uniquely herself - and I love her for it!

As for me, as much as I wish I was as fun and exciting and witty with fast humor as Lorelai, I'm a good mix of Sookie, Emily and Lorelai all meshed together. I have Lorelai's knack of doing before I think, I'm stubborn and independent, but I do what I gotta do. And, I love food! I am down to earth like Sookie, a good cook, and just alittle ditzy! But, I do like a bit of glamor, and in the end, always do the right, responsible thing, like Emily.

The only thing missing is, I wish we lived in the little bustling town and community like Stars Hollow. And, I'd love to have all the money that seems to float around, enabling them to own their own businesses, take trips, go to schools like Chilton and Yale, enjoy spa days and fancy Friday night dinners..... etc.

And while we are speaking of money.... if I could buy the amount of food they always seem to buy on the show.... that's a small fortune right there....

So if you've watched Gilmore Girls, which character do you most closely relate too?

Dying....

2022-03-01T23:50:00.004-05:00

Today has been hard for me.... there were alot of tears.

I don't like getting old, and I don't like that people I care about are dying... our friend and neighbor passed away this week. Brooklyn_speaks went home to be with Jesus today.... another friend of ours is losing his battle with ALS and got his feeding tube put in this month... I feel overwhelmed that for me, I know my place in that line will come sooner than later.

My death sentence makes me angry... I have kids that need me. I want to travel and see the world. I want to watch my kids grow up... to see my grandkids and great-grandkids. I want to enjoy retirement with my hubby. I want to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary together. I want to do something good with my life.

I get tired of fighting with doctors, getting pricked with needles and the ever changing doses of medication. I'm tired of being exhausted every single day. I feel guilty for just about everything I do, and everything I don't do. I feel like the people I love most are getting the worst of me.

Some people say that a terminal illness brings out the best in them - that it helps them to live life to the fullest and not to take anything for granted. But for me, I feel it brings out the worst.... I feel like the everyday life of working (I drive for a car dealership), having a home business, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, gardening, canning, having a hobby farm, helping our special needs son, and remodeling the house, etc. is taking over my life. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, like I'm failing at everything... but mostly, I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

I'd rather live, but I'm not sure how to anymore.

Today, hubby and I went over my funeral arrangements, ideas for my casket, burial, etc. (It's important to me that it's done now so he won't need to worry about it when the time comes.) There's so much that needs planned... so much to do. Every year, is another year crossed off the life expectancy my doctors gave me.... my life seems to be going by so fast- like I'm on this rollercoaster that never ends.

I'm not looking for sympathy... I know that God is in control and none of us are given the promise of another day. But some days it's just rough....

Tomorrow, I will get up, put on my uniform, and go drive for the dealership... I will hide my emotions behind a smile, and people will think I'm living a normal life.... it is what it is.... that's my life.

A Different Christmas

2021-12-20T03:02:00.035-05:00

Christmas looks different for our family this year.... it's our first Christmas without Stephen's Grandpa Chuck and my Dad.

No more playing games and talking/laughing with siblings and in-laws. No more taffy pulls, Christmas caroling or cookie making....

My hubby, kids, and I are gonna make new memories and have a wonderful joy filled Christmas! We will start new traditions, and enjoy Christmas with people who love and care for us!

Is it sad? Yes. Do I wish it could be different? Yes.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but it's still the truth.

So yes, Christmas will definitely be different now that Dad is gone. He wasn't very big on Christmas, or gifts anyway.... it just wasn't his thing... but I'll still miss it. Most of all, I'll miss him.

And it makes me wonder....

🎵 - https://youtu.be/cBtZY633AjI - 🎵

… Is the snow falling down on the streets of gold

Are the mansions all covered in white

Are you singing with angels silent night

I wonder.....

what Christmas in Heaven is like.......

And I wonder.....

Are you kneeling with shepherds before Him now

Can you reach out and touch his face

Are you part of that glorious holy night

I wonder.....

What Christmas in Heaven is like

… Is the snow falling down on the streets of gold

Are the mansions all covered in white

Are you singing with angels silent night

Oh I wonder.......

What Christmas in Heaven is like.....

Merry Christmas in Heaven Dad!

Driving...

2021-08-24T15:16:00.002-04:00

I drive for Ford, as a dealership driver. I do dealer trades (my favorite), dealer buys, lease returns, pick up auction cars, and deliver cars to their new owners..... sometimes we even go straight to the Ford plant and pick them up as they come off the assembly line.

We drive all over.... mainly in Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, and Michigan. But sometimes as far as Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Missouri, Iowa, and Florida...

Sometimes I drive one way with another driver. (My favorite driving partner is Joe. We have gotten to be best friends over the years, and have a great time together.)

Sometimes, its just me by myself for the whole trip.

I absolutely love driving!

Driving is exciting. I love the adventure of where the road might take me. Of not knowing how my day will go. I love seeing the beautiful landscape and the sunsets. I love the quiet solitude of being in the car alone with my thoughts. I love driving on wide open interstates, in congested traffic lanes, and on narrow back country roads. I like seeing big city's, little towns, and trying new restaurants. I love people watching at truck stops and rest areas. I love the sound of a tractor trailer shifting gears or putting on their Jake brakes. I love driving fast. For me, nothing is more comfortable than being in the drivers seat.

I have loved traveling/driving ever since I was kid...

I loved it when mom would let me take the wheel, while she was driving home from town on a back country road. Or when we could drive the vehicles on our back lanes and actually be in the drivers seat and in control of the pedals.

I loved taking trips. Dad liked to drive at night and he would let me come up to the front of the van while everyone was sleeping and we'd play the licence plate game or count the color of cars... When I was 16, my parents moved to Pennsylvania and I got to drive alot of loads (my dad moved alot of his shop/junk) out there.

When I was married to my 1st husband, we drove a F550 super duty hotshot tractor with a sleeper cab and 53 ft. wedge trailer, delivering cargo box trailers out of Elkhart IN and back hauling cars for John Fett Trucking. Our routine trips were mostly Long Island New York (going through the Bronx was both exciting and nerve wracking, but it was my most favorite run), Chicago, Minneapolis, Georgia (we got married on one of our Georgia trips), and North Carolina, but we went all over.

We don't travel nearly as much as I'd like too, but we take the kids on a 1-2 week long trip once a year, and do family day trips, and small weekend getaways. Hubby and I also go on an Anniversary trip every year too. I love a good long road trip with my family!

To me, driving is relaxing and there's nothing better than being by myself in a brand new car or truck, with an ice cold diet Mountain Dew beside me, the music turned up, and a long road ahead....

Since I spend alot of time driving, there are a few things that could definitely be improved upon in the auto industry to make the driving experience better. I have a knack for picking out all the little things... so here we go...

1. All licence plates should have the same type of screw. In my job I put on and take off licence plates, sometimes multiple times a day. And different cars, models, and makes all use different types of screws for their licence plate. Why not have a universal standard for the screws? Or if not universal, could we at least have the same screw for each make, (example all Fords have one size, all Chevy's have another, etc.)?

And while we are on the subject... the screws with the 5/16 head are the best - a simple nut driver works perfect!

2. The other thing would be if every car maker would pick which side of the car you want the gas tank on and leave it there for every model..... such as Ford's would always be on the right side of the car, Toyota's would always be on the left side, etc..

Most people don't realise this, but some Fords are on the right and some Fords are on the left.... and some cars have arrows pointing both directions for the gas, when its only on one side (I'm not kidding!) - its just very confusing when your doing a job that requires getting gas sometimes multiple times a day, in multiple vehicles, and you never know which side of the car the gas tank is on. Just pick a side.

3. It would be nice if all cars would come automatically with navigation. In our day and age, when paper maps are a thing of the past, and many states are issuing hands free driving laws, navigation should come standard in every make and model.

4. Speaking of hands free driving laws.... carmakers should put a built in universal phone holder on the dash of every car. If it was universal so you can use different sizes of phones and it would be right there handy beside you when you're driving.

5. SiriusXM should be standard in every vehicle!!! I absolutely love it when I get in the car and it already has a SiriusXM radio subscription. It makes driving so much better when you don't have to flip through channels. - especially when you spend 12+ hours a day in the car, driving out of state.... it just makes the whole driving experience way way better when you don't have to be flipping channels trying to find one that will come in for more than 30 minutes or listening to ads.

6. All trucks should come with mandatory adjustable pedals.... It makes a huge difference for us short people, so we don't have the steering wheel in our face, just to reach the pedals! Hubby and I won't even consider buying a truck without adjustable pedals.

7. Last, but not least.... drivers are way underpaid.. I mean yes, its not a complicated or rocket science type of job, but seriously, we put our lives on the line everyday. There is a much greater chance of being hurt in an automobile accident when driving is your job. There are alot of crazy's out there and we come across alot of crashes. We drive on snow and ice, in pouring down rain, dense fog, and strong winds.

As much as I love driving, I don't do it for the pay. For me, its simply something I enjoy. A reason to get away from the house. For me its stress relief from life. Don't get me wrong, driving can be tense and stressful at times.... there are deadlines, flat tires, dead batteries, tolls, paperwork, construction, detours, road closures, traffic jams, and lots more.... I love it, but it's a different kind of stress. So ya, a pay raise should definitely be a must!

I've driven alot of different makes and models of cars, from little tiny boxes on wheels, to work trucks, panel vans, sports cars, suv's, Jeep Wrangler, mini vans, Cadilacs, Bronco's, foreign cars, electric cars, and everything in between.

So probably the best vehicles that I've driven in my experience while driving for the dealership would have to be:

Mustang Mach E (0 to 60 in 3 sec. and yes, I tested it out.... I got it to 90 mph in 4.5 sec. -it was pretty awesome!)

Ford Mustang's

Dodge Challenger

Ford F150's and super duty's and Raptors

Lincoln mkx and mkz

Ford Explorer - I absolutely love to drive limited, sports and platinum (with every bell and whistle you could imagine on them) Ford Explorers.

Cars that I like to drive the least would be any thing little, like a Ford Focus, Hatchbacks, Eco Sport, Honda's, CRV's and Toyotas. I know that some people like Hondas and Toyotas, but after you drive a nice car they really are just junk. They are noisy, you hear a lot of road noise, The seats are not comfortable, they are just not as tight or as nicely put together. We call them boxes on wheels!

I'm a bit biased towards Ford's obviously, but honestly there are 3 kinds of cars in almost any make or model.

First you have just a cheap basic model that people that don't want to spend money on buy, because they look like a new car and they just want a car that will get them from point A to point B. But they drive like crap. Seriously.

Second, you have the mid line cars (the limited and sport's are in this category).... these are what most people are happy with... they look nice, drive decent, have a few bells and whistles, come with a bit more power,

and just all around are a pretty decent car.

And lastly you have the 3rd category which would be what the rich people drive... I love it when I get to pick up these top of the line vehicles... like $100,000+ sports cars, Ford Raptors, Tremors, and custom anything! These vehicles have every bell and whistle you can imagine in them, they are super comfortable, (some give you a back massage as you are driving down the road!) and they practically drive themselves!

Pet peeves of driving would have to be:

People driving slow in the fast lane, not getting over and staying in the fast lane even though they're not going faster, because they don't want to weave in and out of traffic.

People that don't drive with cruise.... they go fast and slow, fast and slow and it drives me crazy! Either use the cruise or drive with your foot, I don't care what you do, but for goodness sake, keep a steady even speed!

Construction.... I mean, I really don't mind construction if they are actually working on the road, bridge, etc. But, if they have you slow down for no reason or go down to a single lane when they are absolutely doing nothing... thats just irritating!

Speed Limits - The speed limit should be raised. If you think about it, alot of our speed limits have been the same for 50+ years. With better and more roads, and safer vehicles, its past time. Most people don't go the speed limit anyway, so why keep it so slow. For example on I465 around Indianapolis the speed limit is still 55mph. However, with the exception of rush hour or traffic jams, traffic is always going around 75+ mph.

Fun Fact: I always wanted to be a over the road long haul truck driver.... I still do.

I think my first love of big rigs was when I was a little kid... my mom owned a bulk food store and would get deliveries from Dutch Valley Foods.... my favorite driver was a guy named Nevin Ebersole.

I always wanted to ride in his big rig and he'd always tease me and say he was gonna take me home with him to meet his daughter! When I was 12 years old, my uncle Don who also drove for Dutch Valley, let me ride back to Pennsylvania with him.... and I loved it!

After all these years... I still look for Dutch Valley Trucks when I'm on the interstate and when I see one, I smile and wave real big.... I'm sure the poor driver thinks "look at that odiot!!"

In my opinion, my perfect job would be to drivelong distance over the road in a decked-out Ford F150, super duty, or Ford Explorer. Something that would pay great, have a flexible schedule, so I wouldn't be away from home all the time, let me bring the hubby or kids along every once in awhile, and put me up in hotels at night. If you find anything like that. I'm totally in!

Angles In The Room

2021-07-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

Reflecting on my dads death. And the thought acured to me that when Dad died, there were angels in the room. Thats such an inspiring thought to know that angels were present. Thank you Jesus!

Angels in the room, he's run his final race. They come to carry him to heaven, there to see his Savior's face. Angels in the room, to take him to his great reward. No need for sadness or gloom, there are Angels in the room.

No need for sadness or gloom, they'll be Angels in the room.

No need for sadness or gloom, there are Angels in the room.

You Gotta Eat Cake!

2021-07-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

I decided it was about time to show you all some more of my cakes....

I have a love- hate relationship with making/decorating cakes. I think its fun and absolutely love trying to make exactly what the kids or I want to make.... only problem is they never turn out nearly as good as the image in my head and I hate that....

I know some would turn out better if I'd use fondant or gum paste instead of butter cream, but I don't like using fondant (I've tried a couple times), I don't like the taste of it, so I use butter cream for all my cakes... it makes them taste better... especially since I use my a perfect secret frosting recipe!

My dad passed away 3 weeks before Wyatt's birthday and left his little Kubota B6000 tractor in his will to Wyatt. You can read more about it here...

This cake had a camouflaged interior...

Barbie cake for an 7 yr. old - every layer of cake was a different color - purple, pink, blue and green inside.

My daughter's graduation cake - simple but classic and oh, so good!

I loved this cake... it was kinda last minute, but I used fall flowers and white roses for a fall bridal shower.

This was a log cake... it looked better in real life! I used melted chocolate to make the tree bark.

Carrot cake

Strawberry Lemon roll cake

She wanted a cat cake.... it was alot harder to make than I thought it'd be...

This gun cake was pretty fun! The gun and bullets are made out of chocolate.

I loved this cake! It was for my nephew...

Hubby loves peanut m&ms and I was in a hurry, so I left the cake in the pan and just did something quick....

She wanted a tropical cake. I made the hibiscus flowers out of homemade marshmallow fondant.

These little sandwich cakes were fun to make... you can read more here.

Our youngest daughter was born on St. Patrick's Day.... this was another fun cake to make.

My first attempt to make a geode cake. I also tried to marble the icing. Its not too bad, but I had to improvise since I didn't have all the right things and we live in the middle of nowhere...

40th Birthday Cake.

The wolf cake was challenging. The wolf was made from colored milk chocolate and the moon was white chocolate. The wolf looked perfect when I first made it, but it broke in 4 different places, so I had to keep trying to fix it... in hindsight, I really should've just made a complete new wolf, but my 11 year old was happy with her wolf cake, so thats all that matters!

You can find more of my cakes here:

Cake Anyone - Graduation Cake, Cakes for guys and more.

Cake Anyone Continued - lots of birthday cakes for little girls.

Even More Cake - Anniversary, Wedding, Baby Shower, Campfire, Candy, and more cakes.

Dear Dad,

2021-06-20T01:01:00.038-04:00

Happy Heavenly Father's Day, Dad! I know you were never big on holidays, hugs, and all the mushy stuff... neither am I, but I'm laying in bed wide awake, with thoughts running through my mind, so here goes....

I sure wouldn't wish you back from heaven, but I miss you more then I ever thought I would.

I heard this song on the radio the other day, driving home from Cleveland for work, and I couldn't help but think of you... "Better Off There" -by The Browns

Its no secret that we weren't close before you got sick, but those last five to six months, we had some of the best talks and the time spent, just me and you, gave me some of the best memories of us together!

I loved the fact that you kept your humor... Our trip to the Nurology center in Middletown (you getting your way with the truck, getting lost, eating corn chips and cold lunch meat sandwiches, and shoping at Walmart), and driving home from the hospital (even though you kept saying I was driving south) it was all fun!

You became my friend, and l'm glad that you felt comfortable confiding in me. I love that we got to laugh, and cry together, that we talked about serious things, sad things, and happy things. I will always treasure our conversations and the relationship we built together in the end.

There is so many questions I want to ask you.... you were Stephen and my sounding board and voice of reason on life's big moments.... (We are finally starting to remodel the house this year. We picked out the flooring and ordered cabinet samples.)

There's so much I wish I could tell you....

I wish you could see the independent, and confident woman, Faith has become. She turned twenty this month... I wish you could see her first apartment....

Wyatt bought a hand survival chain and the first thing he said was that he wished he could show it to you, - he thinks you'd like it. The Crosley Car show that you were going to take Wyatt to is coming up in a couple weeks....

He put oil stabilizer in your little Kabota and patched up the muffler.... its running smooth now. He got it all washed up and has used it to haul gravel, tree limbs, dirt, and take Adilayia on rides.

That tractor means the world to him, I wish you could see how much joy he gets from it.

Adilayia is growing up so fast... she is thinning out and losing her baby face (and pudgy belly)! She has become so quiet, but takes everything in without missing a beat - just like you.

You were always a great Grandpa! I think its hardest, watching my kids miss you, the most. You had so much wisdom that you could have shared with them....

I've only been back to your place a couple times since you've been gone. I'm keeping my distance because of all the drama, hurt, and lies. It's weird not seeing you in the shop or sitting at the table.... or having you walk in and tell me 'hi' after I get there. It's weird going through your things... I almost feel like we are invading your privacy. Although I have found some cool stuff!

The family auction is coming up soon and I know how much you wanted to be here for it. We had a work day last week - it did NOT end well! The lies, favorites, and drama continue. You'd be so ashamed, in some ways I'm glad you aren't here to see how awful some have become. If you were here, it would go smoothly and be fair.

I stopped by your grave to talk for a bit this week.... it still seems somewhat surreal, and sad.

I don't know what I thought it would be like losing you, but it's not easy... especially since you were the glue that was holding what was left of our 'Frick' family together.

Your death has made me think so much more on the circle of life.... on how I want my life and death to be, on who I let be a part of my life, and on what really is important to me.

I know you were far from perfect. There were some things we will never agree on, and there were things you said you'd have done differently, - me too.

Thank you for all the lessons you taught.

The praise you gave to Stephen and I for how we were raisingthe kids, for payingoff our house and saving money.

The patience, and love you showed your grandkids.

And for giving me those last few months of conversations, and memories with you.

I miss you Dad, but your better off there.

-Love, Rhoda

Neutrality Is A Myth

2021-06-09T02:01:00.004-04:00

My husband listens to Jarrin Jackson on YouTube, and the other day I overheard this statement:

"Neutrality is a myth....."

It stopped me dead in my tracks. What a dynamic and profound statement spoken in truth.

This saying has been playing over and over in my head since then and has been a main subject of my hubby and my conversations.

Let me say it again...

"Neutrality is a myth."

You see, when some of my siblings and mom was fighting over my dads care and who dad chose to be his Medical POA, there were a few siblings who would say that they were 'neutral' ...that they were not picking a side, which ultimately made matters worse, because they would not stand up for what was right or truth.

"There is no such thing as neutral. There is no position, no placeholder, that doesn't carry with it some subjectivity based on our experiences in the world."

My hubby and I have always believed that life is black and white. There is always two sides and even if you say you aren't choosing a side, you still ultimately pick a side by your words, or actions, or lack of....

“What hurts the victim most is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander.” ― Elie Wiesel

"Its been said that neutral men are the devils allies, and that the hottest place in hell are reserved for those who remain or claim to be neutral in times of moral conflict."

Here's the thing... if you are a professing Christian.... there is absolutely no way you can be neutral in any aspect of life.

The explanation is simple:

Matthew 12:30 KJV:

Jesus said “He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad."

Matthew 12:30 NLT:

"Anyone who isn't with me opposes me, and anyone who isn't working with me is actually working against me."

Jesus draws a line in the sand. Whoever is not with Him in the work He is doing is, by definition, against Him. Whoever does not help Him in His mission to gather the lost into His kingdom is guilty of scattering them.

To be neutral is to be against the work of God. Nobody can remain neutral on the issue of Jesus. He demands full acceptance and participation in His mission from those who are with Him.

Anyone who does not join Him is on the other side, no matter how much he or she may wish not to have an opinion (John 3:36).

You can read it all explained here.

If you love God, and have a relationship with him, you will chose to side with truth, and whats right, not just on biblical matters, but in all areas of your life. If, not, you cannot claim to be a Christian.

So what exactly does it mean to be neutral?

- Neutrality is the tendency not to side in a conflict (physical or ideological), which may not suggest neutral parties do not have a side or are not a side themselves. Neutrality implies tolerance regardless of how disagreeable, deplorable, or unusual a perspective might be.

There is no such thing as being neutral. “It’s a code word for existing in the system. It has nothing to do with anything, but agreeing to what is, and always will be — that’s what neutrality is. Neutrality is just following the crowd”.

We must pick sides, and when we pick a side we must be able to defend our reasoning for choosing that side.

Claiming yourself as neutral is choosing the side of the dominant. “… neutrality is the best way for one to hide his or her choice… if you are not interested in proclaiming your choices, then you say that you are neutral.”

If someone is choosing to be neutral or claiming to be neutral in hopes of keeping a relationship with both the dominant and submissive then they are hoping for the impossible. You cannot play both teams. Pick one and fight for it to win.

There is no way to remain neutral, and to believe that we can be neutral is where the danger lies.

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

― Martin Luther King, Jr.

Most people never think being neutral is a bad thing, because they think that to be neutral appears as not harming one side or the other, but the truth is this: You can never truly remain neutral.

For example, when a car is in neutral it is either not moving or it is going whichever way gravity decides to pull it. Or, if two different people were pushing it, one from the front and one from the back, it would go in the direction that the strongest person was pushing. If we are like cars in neutral then we are going with the flow of society. To be neutral is to be the true danger to society.

“Neutrality is at times a graver sin than belligerence.” ― Louis D. Brandeis

Not being neutral can seem scary, for sure. But it’s much less so, when you frame it in the positive. Chosing a side, taking a stand,, speaking up for kindness, for what is good and right -for truth, is empowering.

Life is black-and-white, there is good and evil, right and wrong, and heaven and hell - there is no in-between. So pick a side, stand up for what you believe in, and fight for it. Don't hide behind a fake facade of neutrality.

So, I say yet again....

Neutrality is a Myth.

Waiting To Die

2021-04-24T01:34:00.074-04:00

I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer on this day, the day my Grandma Stump died in 2012....

Somedays, I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

It's the elephant in the room that no one talks about.... but it's always there. Every. Single. Day.

I've watched a close friend die from cancer the same year I was diagnosed. I've known of so many people who have lost the battle.... some young, some old. And I just wonder.... where do I fall in line at?

Two months ago, I was by my Dads side when he passed away from cancer. I watched as he took his last breath. The memory plays over and over in my mind. Almost like a dream. We knew it was the end, but yet, one second he was breathing and the next second, there was no breath. He was gone.

"We are wired to run away from death, but dying is a part of life."

I can't help but wonder when my time to die is coming.

Will I be able to see all my kids graduate and get married?

Will my special needs son have someone to care for him if I'm not around? He relys on me to be his voice and help him understand.

Will I get to be a Grandma?

What about a Great-Grandma?

Will I be able to enjoy retirement and travel with my husband?

Will I ever get to celebrate my 20th, 30th, 40th, or 50th wedding anniversary?

Will I live to see 50? What about 60, 70, or 80?

Will I die a slow painful death? Or will it be sudden or quick?

Will my family be able to cope with my death?

What will it feel like to die?

Have I done my best to live a good life for God?

Did I teach my kids what they need to know if I'm not around?

Do they know how much I love them?

Will my hubby be okay?

Will anyone even miss me when I'm gone?

There's so many questions.... and no answers. But my mind won't stop wondering. Is this going to haunt me for the rest of life?

I was diagnosed nine years ago and thankfully, it's a slow growing cancer that we have been able to keep from spreading by taking high quality Shaklee vitamins, Vivix, and supplements.... but that could all change -my cancer could become aggressive at any second. The years seam to be ticking by faster than ever and I know its just a matter of time.

I believe in God and my head knows he's in control, but my heart hurts with worry and the what-ifs.

Unless you've been diagnosed with an incurable cancer, you will never know the constant worry, wondering, and stress that I face every single day.

Its like life goes on for everyone else, but for me... I'm just waiting to die.

- Rhoda

P.S. I hesitate to discuss my cancer, as I am not looking for sympathy - but have found that sometimes, I get relief by 'talking' about it here on my blog - it helps to 'get it out'. Please don't ask personal questions..... they will not be answered.

Not In, But Not Out....

2021-04-13T05:55:00.024-04:00

I know just about enough to be dangerous.... that right now is my whole take on religion.

You see I was raised very conservative (think Amish, without the buggy), and was taught conservative beliefs my whole life.... and there was alot of good that came from being raised that way.

But, there was also alot of bad.... as my husband says, "if he wasn't already a Christian, seeing the way my conservative family and churches I was raised in act, he wouldn't want anything to do with God if that's how he was introduced to Christianity." Which is sad, but I agree with him 100%.

I joined an Independent Fundemental, KJV Baptist church (which is pretty conservative) and though I would say my belief aligns with a conservative Baptist, I am tired of the church politics, rules, and people acting one way on Sunday and another through the week.... the 'whatever' attitude of the Christian faith is off putting to me......

On the other hand, I was rebellious in my younger years, married a catholic man (who had been married multiple times), who smoke, drank and ultimately cheated on me... but I enjoyed the karaoke bars, hanging out with friends, card games, spontaneous lifestyle of not planning, and living for the moment.... I miss the attention that life gave me. And the fact that in my life now, I feel invisible just adds to the pain of me not knowing who I am.

I know right from wrong. I miss the wrong a little, but I don't want to do wrong.....

Its complicated.

I have 3 kids and an amazing, loving husband. We have a beautiful peice of land with a few animals in the country. I drive part time for a dealership, I have a small Shaklee home business, and I get to stay home with my kids... From the outside, looking in, my life seems perfect. I have everything most people dream of, and never get!

I love my life I have now, but I also miss my old life. Somedays I wish I could have both... it's almost like I lived and liked one way with one husband and another way with the other husband and there are good and bad things about both, but the question in my mind is "how would I live if it was just up to me and there was no man in my life.....

Kinda like in the movie Runaway Bride... she (Julia Robert's) doesn't even know what kind of eggs she likes.... because she always orders whatever her fiance gets.... (also can we just take a minute to appreciate how handsome Richard Gere is in that movie?!?)

I'll never know the answer to that, because I love the man in my life and even if there was no man, I'm a momma to three kids, so I have to do the good things and have morals and values for them. I want my kids to know and do good.

To be honest, I can never be the real me, because I've made choices in my life that includes kids. The things I mostly do aren't because I want to do them but rather... because I have to do them....

So, to make a long story short, I really have no idea who or what I am, or what I should have been.... I really don't know if I'm in or out. I know just enough of two sides to make it complicated.

Organ Donation

2021-04-05T09:41:00.001-04:00

"Leave a legacy of life - be an organ donor!"

Are you registered as an organ donor?

I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I have always wanted to be an organ donor, but I was always scared to register or put it on my licence.... somewhere along the line I was told (and believed) the myth that if I was an organ donor and was in a car wreck, or hospital, that EMTs, doctors, nurses, etc. would not give me the care I needed and instead, kill me prematurely to use my organs for someone else. It sounds silly now, but that is the #1 most common myth surrounding organ donations.

But here's the thing... even if you are a registered organ donor, your life always comes first. Doctors work hard to save every patient’s life, but sometimes there is a complete and irreversible loss of brain function. The patient is declared clinically and legally dead. Only then is donation an option.

So, the more I think on it, the more I want to chose to be an organ donor.

I want my life to mean something. If I can help someone by giving them an organ, bone, tissue, etc., especially when I no longer have a use for it, I will have done some good in my death.

Every 10 minutes, another person is added to the national transplant waiting list.

95% of people support organ donation, but only 58% are registered.

Sadly, 20 people die each day waiting for an organ transplant.

Nationally, there are more than 100,000 people on the waiting list for an organ transplant.

Just one organ donor can save up to eight lives, and one tissue donor can benefit as many as 75 others.

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Organs that can be donated after death are the heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, pancreas and small intestines, these can add years and significantly improve a patient’s life.

Meanwhile, donated tissue such as tendons, skin, veins, heart valves, ligaments and bones can be used to restore mobility and hope for combat veterans, burn victims, and individuals with failing joints. Corneas, the most common transplant, can also be donated and used to restore vision.

More than 40,000 corneal transplants take place each year in the United States.

Did you know that liver and kidney disease kills over 120,000 each year? More people than Alzheimer’s, breast cancer, or prostate cancer. 1 in 9 or 26 million Americans have kidney disease – and most don’t even know it.

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While not all of a donor’s organs or tissue may be suitable for transplant, even one life-saving gift can have a profound impact.

Many people mistakenly believe age or medical conditions would rule them out, but everyone is a potential donor!

Being an organ donor does not affect medical care or funeral arrangements.

If everyone was a registered organ donor, it is estimated we would double the number of lives saved

https://www.donatelife.net/

So, a few weeks ago, I filled out the papers and registered as an organ donor.

"We honor organ donors, who, in there final hour, gave a lifetime."

Wyatt's Little Tractor

2021-03-08T14:00:00.008-05:00

Today, my son, Wyatt is 14 years old!

Wyatt is a special needs kid. He has multiple learning disabilities and is on the spectrum. He can only read and write at a 2nd grade level. He tries very hard, but still has a difficult time understanding and fitting into this world. He is however, the sweetest kid you'll ever meet!

Wyatt had brain surgery in 2017 where his skull was removed for 5 weeks. He has been through lots of testing and struggles in life. He has had 4 surgeries, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and audio therapy, and more...

Wyatt has always had a unique relationship with his Grandpa Frick (owner of Frick Sales).... when he was little he'd call him 'junk grandpa'! His favorite place in the whole world was to go to Grandpa Fricks. He'd wander through the junk yard and would find treasures that he'd talk about to anyone who'd listen.... his favorite was his Grandpa's little B6000 Kubota.

My dad had purchased/traded it off of a guy that had torn it apart and was planning on parting it out by selling parts on eBay. For a few years it sat in peices in dads junk yard.... Wyatt loved it even when it was in peices! After dad got it put together and running, Wyatt would go out and find it everytime we went to dads... he'd be out sitting on the little kubota.

Wyatt would talk non stop of how someday he was gonna buy Grandpa's kubota and fix it up. That someday he'd give it to his grandkids.

Then last fall, my dad got the news he had brain cancer and didn't have much time left to live. Wyatt was so worried that the kubota would be sold at an auction or be given to one of his uncles.... thats pretty much all he's talked about for the last 5 months.

Dad told me back in September that he knew how much the kubota ment to Wyatt and that he knew Wyatt would always struggle living a normal life with his disabilities and he wanted Wyatt to have his little Kubota. But, he didn't want anyone to tell Wyatt till after he was gone....

Every week (sometimes multiple times a week) when I went to take care of dad, Wyatt would go with me. He'd sit by his Grandpa's hospital bed sometimes talking about tractors or chainsaws, and sometimes just sitting together with silence between them. But everytime we were there, he would spend some time out in the barn sitting on the kubota, dreaming. And every night on the hour drive home, he'd tell me all about it and how he was going to fix it up....

The last conversation Wyatt had with his Grandpa before he died, was about starting the little kubota, and letting the glow plug warm up.... Dad wanted to make sure Wyatt knew how to operate it, because he couldn't go out to show him.

Last month, his Grandpa, who understood him more than anyone, past away from brain cancer.

Dad did what he said he'd do and left his little B6000 Kubota tractor to Wyatt in his will.

Wyatt misses his Grandpa so much, but he is so excited to have his Grandpa's tractor. He kept saying over and over that he was afraid he'd wake up the next morning and it wouldn't be true.... he has spent every minute that he's not in school out with his tractor. He's even hooked his trailer to it to give his sister rides.

He wants to restore it/fix it up and keep it to always remember his Grandpa by....

The problem is.... the tractor is 47 years old. It was only in production for 3-4 yrs, parts are hard to find and if you do find them, they are very expensive.

Wyatt will never be able to graduate school with a diploma or hold a 'normal' job to be able to save up to buy or to afford to restore his Grandpa's little Kubota tractor.

Would you please consider helping to make Wyatt's dream come true?