Destination Wedding Invitations Wording

Choosing the correct wording is one of the most confusing parts of designing your destination wedding invitations. In this article, part of the guide to designing your destination wedding invitations, I’ll walk you through the ins and outs of what to say in your wedding invitations.

Proper etiquette for wedding invitations can seem intimidating at first glance. But a common mistake is to think of etiquette as rules when in reality, etiquette is really just a series of guidelines and those guidelines are based on common sense.

When it comes to wedding invitations or any invitation for that matter, its common sense to make sure to include some crucial pieces of information: who, what, where and when. That’s it!

From there, you can be as traditional and formal or as creative and fun as you like.

For more formal weddings, there’s nothing wrong with using the tried and true traditional wedding invitation wording. But destination weddings are anything but traditional, so feel free to be as creative as you want. Just make sure that you cover the basics in your invitation.

To do that, I’m going to walk you through a traditional wedding invitation so that you can ‘how it’s done’ but I encourage you to put your own spin on things. Some traditions are meant to be bent, and others are meant to be broken!

The Anatomy of a Wedding Invitation

Below is a sample wedding invitation, based on the ‘rules’ of etiquette for a formal wedding. Note how this information covers the important information – who is hosting, that the event is a wedding, who is getting married, and where and when the event is taking place.

Mr. and Mrs. James Edward Jones
Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Rebecca Elizabeth
to
Adam David Armstrong
time and date

THE HOST LINE

The host line informs the reader who is hosting the event. 

Traditionally, this is the bride’s parents, but ever-changing family structures, the acceptance of same-sex marriages, and financial dynamics mean that this may include the groom’s parents or the couple themselves. And those changes may require changing the order below.

Courtesy Titles

The most traditional and formal invitations include the use of courtesy titles such as Mr., Mrs., Doctor etc.

When using these titles, Mr. and Mrs. can be abbreviated but any other titles (or suffixes – such as Junior or Doctor) should be spelled out.

If you choose to use courtesy titles, remember: most married couples follow the standard format: Mr. and Mrs. Husband’s Full Name.

Omitting courtesy titles is a little less formal and it also allows the use the first names of married women.  If you use this option, you should omit middle names as well.

If the bride’s parents are hosting, use the phrase “of their daughter” before the bride’s name on the request line.

If the groom’s parents are hosting, use the phrase “to/and their son” before the groom’s name on the Bride and Groom Lines.

If both parents sets of parents are hosting, each set of parents names are listed on separate lines starting with the bride’s parents with an “and” on its own line between the sets of names.

If they have different surnames, an “and” joins them.

If they are divorced, names are listed on separate lines without an “and” between them and the mother’s name is always first.  If she has remarried, use her married name.

*Traditionally step-parents are omitted, but you can include them if you like.  If the remarried parent has a different surname from his or her spouse, put the birth parent first.

If one parent has passed away, the deceased parent is not traditionally included on the invitation.  But you might want to include them anyway.  If this is the case, in order to make it clear that the deceased parent is not issuing the invitation, the deceased parent is usually mentioned after the bride or groom on the Bride and Groom line using the phrase “daughter of the late…”

If the couple is hosting the wedding, omit the host line altogether, begin the invitation with the Bride and Groom Lines, followed by the request line.  Another option is to use the phrase “Together with their families” in the host line.

THE REQUEST LINE

The request line invites the reader and specifies the event.  The two most traditional phrases included in this line are “request the honor of your presence” and “request the pleasure of your company.”  The first indicates the ceremony will be in a house of worship; the second indicates that it will not.  Other examples include “would be delighted by your presence” and “invite you to join them,” and “invite you to share in the joy/celebration.”

The second part of this line specifies that the event is a wedding.  “at the marriage of” is the most commonly used wording, however “to the wedding” or “wedding celebration of.”  If the bride and groom are hosting, common wording might include “at their marriage,” “at their wedding celebration,” and even “to witness their wedding and celebrate the beginning of their lives together.”

To add a bit of fun to your destination wedding invitation, you might consider using wording on your something like:

THE BRIDE AND GROOM LINES

Regardless of who is hosting this destination wedding, the bridal couple are the stars of this show and their names should be set apart (in larger or different font) and on separate lines.  The “to,” “and” or ampersand between them should go on it’s on its own line.  Traditional American formatting uses the word “to;” although some Jewish formats use the word “and.”

If the bride or groom’s last name is the same as her/his parents listed on the host line, only her/his given and middle names are used.  No courtesy title (Miss, Ms. or Mr.) are used.

THE DATE AND TIME LINES

Spell out numbers and capitalize proper nouns only; you can begin these lines with the prepositions like “on” and “at”  (not capitalized) if you’d like.  The day, date and month are traditionally spelled out, and the year is usually omitted (unless you want to date the invitation for keepsake value). The time should be spelled out as well using “o’clock” or “half past.”  But don’t worry about using a.m. or p.m., or a phrase such as “in the evening,” unless it is unclear, such as for an eight o’clock wedding.  Using numerals is a more modern practice, however, it is not necessarily more casual.  Whether you choose a traditional or modern style, make sure you use it uniformly throughout.

THE LOCATION LINE

It is traditional not to include street addresses of houses of worship or well-known locations. Commas are not used at the ends of lines, and the state is always spelled out.  The ZIP code is omitted.

For a St. Thomas destination wedding invitation, the address is usually not necessary.  Most of your guests will be taking taxis, or you will have most likely included a map in your wedding invitation suite.  Leave the address out to keep your invitation uncluttered.

ST. THOMAS WEDDING LOCATIONS

THE RECEPTION LINE OR CARD

While the reception information is sometimes included on the main invitation, you can also use a SEPARATE CARD.  This is particularly helpful if the reception is at a different location than the ceremony or does not begin immediately after.  By using a separate card, your invitation will remain uncluttered.

If you choose to include reception information on the main invitation, you might use a phrase like “reception to follow”, “reception immediately following”  or “dinner and dancing to follow.”  If you are not serving a full meal, it is a good idea to let guests know by using a phrase such as “champagne toast to follow” or “cocktail reception and cake immediately following the ceremony.”

THE R.S.V.P. LINE OR RESPONSE CARD

Brides today generally include a REPLY CARD that matches their wedding invitation, as well as a stamped envelope to encourage guests to respond to their invitation in a timely manner.  Traditional etiquette does not require this.  If you choose not to include a response card, include a line on the lower left corner of the invitation that says “R.S.V.P.,” the date by which you need the response, and the method by which they can respond (mailing address, phone number, email address, or WEBSITE).

Smart tip: Since people sometimes forget to write their names on the reply card, number your guest list, and then lightly pencil the proper number on the back of each reply card before tucking it into the addressed invitation.

SPECIAL DETAILS TO CONSIDER

If you want to stress the importance of the style of dress – black tie, for instance, or casual attire – place that information in the lower right corner, or on the reception card.  For your destination wedding invitation, you might consider using wording to remind guests to wear or bring their flip flops, regardless of the level of dress you expect them to wear.

The only thing that should not be included anywhere on your invitation – or in your invitation suite – is your REGISTRY INFORMATION.  The only place where it is acceptable to include registry information is on your website.  Once you register, tell your family and bridal party the details.  They will spread the news or guests will ask you directly.

If your wedding is adults only, be sure to address your invitations properly.  It is not acceptable to say “adult only” anywhere in your invitation or invitation suite.

Now, what have you gotten yourselves into?

You’ve decided to have one of the most important events in your life, 2,000 miles from home, on an island where you probably don’t know a soul. Which means you must be an adventurous soul!

But before you break out in hives or hit the bottle, I’m here to help.

HOW TO PLAN A DESTINATION WEDDING IN ST. THOMAS, VIRGIN ISLANDS

If you’re like most of my clients, you’ve never planned a wedding before. Most likely, you’ve never even been to the Virgin Islands and you have no idea how to start the planning process. Which makes sense.

I mean, if you’re planning a wedding on your home turf, then you’d probably already have a few venues and even a few vendors in mind. And of course, you have family, friends, and co-workers for referrals.

But instead, you’re starting from scratch with an island wedding. And you have the daunting task of spending countless hours searching, researching and re-searching before you.

Research is good, but why not get the answers from an expert? (Hint: That’s Me!)

The first piece of advice:

PLAN YOUR WEDDING THE EASY WAY: HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER

We’re also with you when life gets in the way and you’re just too busy to worry about everything that needs to get done.

Basically, you can think of the Blue Sky Ceremony team as that friend – with amazing style – who never ever gets tired of talking about your wedding.

Whether your wedding is big or small, I offer wedding planning services packages that are fully customizable to suit your needs. Drop me a line to get started or keep reading to discover some things to make our first consultation the most productive. That way, we can jump right in and talk specifics about your wedding.

But before we talk, I’ll have a few questions for you, and it’s better to think about them and discuss with your fiance first.

You see, here’s a little secret:

What you’re probably doing right now – dreaming of the possibilities and exploring all of your options – this is the crucial first step to planning a destination wedding.

In fact, these possibilities and dreams are all things I’ll ask you about during our first phone call.

THE CRUCIAL FIRST STAGE OF WEDDING PLANNING: THE PRE-PLANNING

You know the adage “measure twice, cut once”? Well, it doesn’t actually tell you anything about planning your project. Before you’re ready to even measure, you’ve got decisions to make. For example, if you were building a cabinet, you’d need to know what it’s for, where it is going, and a myriad of other details. You would need to make some pre-planning decisions before making that first measurement and cut.

The same is true with wedding planning.

Researching options and exploring ideas is a great way to start the process of planning your wedding.

But, believe it or not, many couples jump headlong into the planning process without really considering or discussing some crucial and important things. And with so much to read and digest and decide on out there, they waste a lot of time scouring the internet and find themselves no further along.

At this point, I imagine you’ve sat down and talked with your fiance (or are preparing to do so tonight) about the type of wedding you’d like – specifically whether or not you want a destination wedding and where and when that destination wedding might be.

In this Pre-Planning stage of wedding planning, the first thing you should discuss with your partner is the where, how, and the when of the big day.

For The Where – my vote (if it counts for anything) is St. Thomas or St. John, US Virgin Islands! (Duh!)

Once you’ve narrowed down your island, you’ve probably also decided The How of getting to the island – via cruise or staying with us for a few days (or more!) at a hotel or vacation villa.

Travel Tip: The weather is just about always perfect in the Virgin Islands – so it’s always beautiful in the islands. Check our yearly temps. 

If you’re staying with us on the island, you don’t need to know all of the specifics such as accommodations, etc, just yet. That’s something we can discuss when we delve into the planning process. After covering The Where and The How – you should also start thinking about …

The When of your big day. Unless you’re planning to get married on your anniversary, or some other prescribed date (for example 9/19/19, 2/20/20 – hurry, these dates go fast!), you don’t have to set a firm date yet. But it’s a good idea to set a date range or season like next May or June, or next winter. That way, we’ll know how long we have to get things planned.

Once you have some of the preliminary stuff worked out, you’re almost ready to go crazy and start pinning beach wedding photos to your Pinterest board BUT there are some other elements you’ll want to have put some thought into before we dive too deep into planning your wedding.

PRE-PLANNING STAGE 2: WEDDING SIZE & GUEST LIST

Guest List Advice: Invite all the grandparents (even the mean ones). Don’t invite the whole office, unless you really love them. Don’t use your wedding to reconnect with friends you’ve lost touch with. Don’t let your parents go wild with invites…unless they’re paying for it all.

Your wedding’s size is one of the most important details in all of the wedding planning decisions. Having a general sense of the size of the wedding will help direct all future discussions and decisions, from the location to the timeline to the cake. You two should start thinking about whether you want to:

• Elope (and/or maybe bring a few guests)
• Have an intimate celebration (maybe 20 or less)
• Have a small wedding (maybe 20 – 40 guests)
• Have a blow out bash (50+ guests)

Having a sense of the size of your wedding will set you up for the Final Stage of Pre-Planning: Budgeting.

PRE-PLANNING STAGE 3: BUDGETING

So now you know you know all about the island (that it exists, how to get here, and why St. Thomas is the best choice for your wedding), and have an idea of the type of wedding you want to host ( a big bash, something intimate, or screw hosting, we’re eloping!). Now it’s time to talk about how much it’s going to cost?

WRONG!!!

I’ve found that in the wedding industry as a whole, vendors, blogs, other websites seem to avoid the topic of money. And yet, this is one of the most important things to consider when planning your wedding.

Before diving into costs and decisions and looking at all of the pretty things, the best thing you can do to make planning your wedding as easy as possible is to figure out how much you have to spend.

I’ve found that budget isn’t a really good word to describe what you need at this stage. I checked out a thesaurus (don’t judge me) in search of a better word. It suggested “allowance”, “allocation” or “quota:. I happened to like “allocation”. Because budget could include every penny you spend on the entire trip (accommodations, travel, rental cars, food, excursions, etc.).

So instead of thinking of this stage as ‘budgeting’ (calculating each expense in excruciating detail), think of this stage as ‘allocating’ for the actual wedding costs.

Separating or allocating an amount for wedding expenses will make everything easier down the road.

The question to ask yourselves is how much do you plan to spend on your wedding? You don’t need an exact figure but you’ll want to know a range that you want to stay within.

If at this stage, you just have a grand total number for the entire trip and wedding, say $15,000, start by taking a look at airfare and accommodations (check out any travel site – Orbitz, Expedia, etc.) and subtract that amount from the big number.

So if travel and accommodation are $5,000, you’ll have approximately $10,000 for the wedding. A great place to start!

You can find many wedding budget calculators online. I don’t find them nearly as helpful as calling an actual, local wedding planner like me. But they are a good start to give you a general sense of average numbers.

NOW WE CAN START PLANNING!!!

That’s right, we can finally jump headlong into planning and make the hard decisions like whether you will have a ‘first look’ before the ceremony, chose which world-class beach for your wedding ceremony, and select the perfect flavor for your wedding cake.

NOW, THE FUN STUFF! HERE’S HOW I’LL PLAN YOUR WEDDING!

I specialize in hands-on planning for destination weddings, elopements, cruise ship weddings and vow renewals in St. Thomas & St. John.

That means if you appreciate custom details, personal and fun flourishes, and outside of the box ideas and you are looking for someone to ease the stress, tie all of the details together, and make the day run smoothly, then consider me your new best friend.

It all starts with an initial consultation where we’ll define your vision for your day and decide what type of planning service you need.

I’ve narrowed down my services to three types of wedding planning:

Learn more about my wedding planning services and packages here.

HOW IT ALL WORKS

Regardless of which planning service is right for you, on our first call, we’ll discuss your vision and the options for bringing it to life. We’ll also discuss your wedding’s size, local industry pricing, and the elements of the wedding that are most important you.

With all of this information, I’ll create a customized budget outline of what you need to achieve your vision, where the wedding expenses are broken down and balanced based on your needs for your wedding. The outline will break down your specific wishes for your wedding.

I’ll then get started planning your wedding immediately, helping you narrow down the outline of the day as we start choosing vendors, locations, and services.

At first, the details might feel overwhelming, but my job is to shoulder the burden and make it fun and easy. You only have to focus on the parts you love and you can tune out for the parts you don’t.

No matter which of my services you choose, I’ll walk you through the entire process including:

I once read that the average bride spends 1-2 hours per day planning her wedding. I also read somewhere that the average bride spends 250 hours planner her own wedding. Good thing you are no average bride. And good thing you’ve got me be your side – because, seriously, who has time for that?

• finding the perfect beach or venue for your destination wedding & the right vendors (photographers, florists, bakers, etc) to make your day perfect;
• putting together timeframes, timelines, checklists, and budget;
• creating a design and vision for your wedding day;
• finding the perfect somebody to perform your wedding ceremony; and if you’re getting legally wed, the marriage license;
• navigating the ins and outs of wedding etiquette (and sometimes family drama too);
• arranging you and your guests travel to the islands;
• and finally, I’ll be with you on the day-of the wedding to make sure everything goes according to plan while you relax and enjoy every second!

THE NEXT STEP

Call 340-642-0195 or contact me today to schedule a consultation to get the ball rolling and plan your Blue Sky Ceremony.

Filing for a USVI marriage License is Easy

In fact, the ease of the marriage license application process is one of the top selling points of getting married in the Virgin Islands.

To legally wed in the USVI, you’ll need to submit your application form and payment (via mail), at least 8 business days (but up to 12 months) before your wedding date. Once you’re on the island, you and your fiance will make a 15 minute stop at the courthouse and sign the marriage registry and receive your license to marry.

Bring the license with you to the ceremony and the wedding officiant or minister and witnesses will sign after the ceremony. We’ll take the paperwork back to the court to be recorded and we’ll mail 2 certified copies to your home.

Before we get to the details filling out the forms, I want to cover some of the most frequently asked questions about the application process.

HOW TO FILE FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE IN ST. THOMAS

Submitting the Application

Marriage license applications may be submitted up to 12 months before and no later than 8 working days before your wedding date. If you are within the 8-day requirement, please email me right away to see if the license application process can be expedited.

The application forms, cover letter, additional documents (if applicable) and payment should be mailed to the court to the addresses listed below. 1 – 2 weeks later, call the courthouse 340-774-6680 (ask for family court) to confirm that they have received and processed your license request and get the confirmation number.

Picking up your Marriage License

The couple must pick up their own marriage license in person and sign the registry with the clerk of the court.

If you’re coming via cruise ship, this is typically done on the way to the ceremony. Don’t worry if you want to keep tradition and avoid seeing each other on your wedding day. You can go to the courthouse separately so that your first look will be as you walk down the aisle.

If you’re staying on the island, you can pick up your license prior to the wedding day.

There are several pieces of outdated information.

• A birth certificate is NOT required to pick up your marriage license. Only a government-issued photo ID is required. In the case of non-US citizens, you will need to bring your passport.
• The courthouse allows pick up of the marriage license between 8 am and 5 pm on normal business days. The website says 2:30 because that’s when the cashier leaves, but if you’ve followed the directions above, you will have paid both the application fee ($100) and the license fee ($100), totaling $200, when you sent in your application.  This also will expedite the pickup process so that you can get back to your vacation that much faster
• The language on the website speaks of ‘brides’ and ‘grooms’. Same-sex weddings are legal in the USVI. When you click to download the forms, you’ll see that the forms have been updated to be gender neutral.

THE NEXT STEP

So when you’re ready to get the process started or if you have any questions about the marriage license, please call or email me.

All of my wedding planning services packages include assistance with the marriage license.