Journeys with Stacey Jean

Truth in My Darkness

2011-01-12T01:31:00.015-05:00

Freedom comes from our soul knowing and accepting our most basic truth. It comes from accepting our lives whole-heartedly, recognizing our feelings with deep honesty and clarity, without judgement. So here I am, (a divine being having a HUMAN experience), embracing and paying attention to what is true for me at this moment. As it is, right now I feel negative, dark, and broken. In stating this, I am indeed declaring my suffering. I've lived through darker times, but that does not discount my current "reality". Sometimes I feel happy, and other times I feel sad. Through my work, I have come to realize that this is okay. Extreme joy can only be experienced if one has also experienced absolute sadness. You can not have the "light" without the "dark". Together, both sides create a whole. By accepting and embracing my darkness, I can feel my wholeness! And actually, my being begins to feel better, and with that comes a lightness (all I had to do was write it down).

I must accept my shadow!

My truth grows from the circumstances I create, and I (egotistically speaking) am unhappy with my current circumstances. Not to say that I am not blessed!! I know that I am, and for my blessings I am profoundly grateful. I try to keep perspective, knowing that even the most basic of life's gifts (food, health, shelter, family) are not readily available to all. I know that I am fortunate. But, in keeping perspective, I also need to honor what I know. I grew up in the United States, with peers both young and old, surrounded by a set of circumstances unique to us. We have faced similar challenges, embraced or rejected similar belief systems, and spent many years working hard to "be successful" in our capitalist society. Opportunity and an abundance of choices have presented themselves to my generation. Decisions define our lives...we choose a college, our careers, our location, our relationships. Each decision leads us to our "now".

I've made alot of choices over the past year that have determined my current state of affairs. Some I am happy to have made (like committing to becoming a soul coach), but other choices I find I am questioning with lack of faith. Even though I remind myself time and time again, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, something inside me refuses to settle. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, fake and inauthentic. My truth is not resonating. My heart feels torn and longing for another reality. But, I know I must accept what IS!! How do I transition myself into the "now" when I feel so disconnected?

Deep in my mind's eye, I know what I want. I think I am hung up on the idea that I could've had it sooner, rather than later. My decisions have taken me for a detour, and I'm having a difficult time enjoying the ride. I need a plan of action that will allow me to relax into my current reality, with the knowing that what I truly long for will indeed come into fruition. I know that alot of this comes down to me being able to trust in the Universe, a power that has been so good to me in the past. In my experience, the more I've let go, the more I've been witness to miracles in my life. Maybe that's the message I am supposed to get out of writing my most honest truth. I think too, that I need to solidify my thoughts so that I can move forward with direct intention. I need to set goals, so that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. My focus needs to be on clearing the way.

Faith is being restored as I write. A sense of "knowing" is creeping into my thoughts, convincing me that I will get there. My dreams are real, and I need to accept them with a knowing heart full of hope. Let this post be my inspiration as I embark on my journey and fulfill my deepest desires, freeing myself of doubt and regret. Dreams spark the reality of one's choosing. May this "detour" in my life enhance all that is meant to be.

I dream of living on a mountain-top, near family and loved ones. I dream of a home surrounded by lush green in the summer and snowy white in the winter. I dream of a home office with sacred space for healing and for the creation of abundance. I dream of animals surrounding me, safe, cuddly, and content. I dream of a young child to share wisdom and laughter. I dream of warmth and romance and fulfillment as I grow into my maturity. I dream of solidity, strength, and a sense of being grounded in my surroundings. I dream of travel and freedom to roam from a rooted home base. I dream of peace and serenity in all that IS!!

I know that this and more is awaiting my arrival. In this knowing, my sense of optimism is attempting to recharge. The only way I can attain my dreams is by starting with my current reality, no matter how dark. The acknowledgement of my truth, with clarity and acceptance, is the catalyst for transformation. With one foot in front of the other, I will attain all that I dream.

___________________________________________Addendum:

As the universe would have it, a message awaited me in the book I am currently reading tonight:

"In the landscape of the soul there is a desert, a wilderness, an emptiness, and all great singers must cross this desert to reach the beginning of their road. Jesus. Buddha. Moses. Mohammed. All wandered through the wasteland, speaking to demons, speaking to empty air, listening to the wind, before finding their dove, their bodi tree, their stone tablets, before finding their true voice. I have hope for you exactly because you have entered the desert, following in the footsteps of those few who have been true teachers." ~ Ray Faraday Nelson

Thank you Universe!!

PBS: The Buddha

2011-01-11T16:01:00.009-05:00

The story of Siddhartha Guatama has been a centerpiece in my conscience for years. Buddhism and it's precepts have made the most sense to me as I've engaged in my spiritual journey. The ideas of oneness, compassion, and the belief in "ahimsa" all resonate with me deeply, as does the power that comes from focusing on the NOW!! I've read many Buddhist based books in the past, and continue to do so. It's good practice as I stay on my path.

The Buddha Room at Summerhill Ranch in Paso Robles, CA.

The first time I really learned of the story of the Buddha was in reading the book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. I adore that book (and actually think I might read it again). Last night though, I finally took the time to watch the PBS video, "The Buddha", and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Learning about the life of the Buddha in such a concise and simple way was a gift to myself. I love the idea that to be a Buddha is as simple as being in the now with proper awareness. I also love knowing that I am a Buddha. As are you! If you have the interest, and would like to learn more, here's the video "The Buddha" for your own viewing pleasure:

Watch the full episode. See more The Buddha.

OSHO : Aloneness

2011-01-02T14:40:00.004-05:00

After seeing his name over and over again on Barnes and Noble bookshelves, I finally went ahead and purchased a book by OSHO. There's a bookstore here in Austin called Whole Life Books. It's my perfect bookstore!! One day I went in, and compelled by an unknown force, bee-lined it straight to his collection. The book Meditation stood out, and I read this passage...

Aloneness: Your Self-Nature

Aloneness is a flower,

a lotus blooming in your heart.

Aloneness is positive, aloneness is health.

It is the joy of being yourself.

It is the joy of having your own space.

I bought the book immediately. These words spoke to me with such a strong sense of knowing. I truly believe that I treasure my aloneness more than the average person. At times I've even been hard on myself, thinking I was weird or different for wanting to be alone so much. But it really is in my aloneness that I find the greatest peace!! I am happy when I am alone and have the freedom to just BE! I often joke around that I could be a very happy hermit. :) I definitely enjoy the company of others, but all in moderation. I work in a very social job atmosphere, and find myself needing alone time to rejuvenate myself. I thank OSHO for his beautiful words, honoring this precious part of myself. I hope this passage can bring you some peace as well.

December is Past and It's 2011 at Last!!

2011-01-02T03:54:00.007-05:00

The last month of 2010 was a preparation for the coming year, with most of our focus centered on establishing ourselves here in Austin. Interspersed, outside of taking care of our most basic and immediate necessities (like getting jobs), both Tom and I have been working hard towards making our dreams an absolute reality. I've been organizing my own goals, and Tom has been contacting people to do both photo and film work with, and he just joined a band! :) We're getting there, slowly but surely. I definitely can see 2011 as being a year of immense manifestation!

Marty Mcfly wannabe ;)

On top of all of our hard work, we of course made time to relax and enjoy ourselves during this festive time of year. First off was my birthday on December 5th. We celebrated in simple fashion with Tom making dinner (vegan enchiladas!!), and getting drinks at South Austin Bar and Grill. My parents sent me some birthday cash and I treated myself to a much needed haircut at Birds Barbershop, right down the street on South Lamar. It made me very happy!!

Birthday Dinner!!

Happy Birthday to me!!

Christmas, of course, was upon us before we knew it. Our families blessed Tom and I with so much for the holidays! Thanks to them, we now have the means to purchase some much needed furniture for our apartment. We've already made one trip to Ikea!! :) I actually had to work Christmas evening, so most of our celebrating took place on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning. We made our favorite vegan brownies and watched "Die Hard", one of Tom's favorite Christmas movies. We opened gifts in the A.M. and just enjoyed each other's company along with the company of Tiger and Brigitte. They enjoyed all of the wrapping paper!!

Christmas Vegan Brownies! YUM!

So many presents to unwrap!!

Brigitte guarding our gifts!

Tom got this great shot of Tiger! So cute!

Last night was New Year's Eve. I had to work, but lucky for me, I got out fairly early and was able to meet up with Tom and a few others for celebrations! Fireworks greeted me as I left work and headed home. I changed clothes and promptly met up with friends at Paggi House, a really nice place in South Austin. We had champagne, hefewiezen, and my first ever French 76 (YUMMY!)!! It felt really good to laugh, be silly, and let loose a little bit. With smiles on our faces we welcomed the new year. I'm thankful for high spirits and the jolly souls I got to spend the evening with!!

This was on my birthday....but I kissed him last night too. ;)

As I reflect on the past month, memories of 2010 flood my brain. It was a powerful year, bound by hard work and determination. I am incredibly grateful for all that has come to pass. Now, it is officially 2011. Today was marked as 1-1-11. I read this posted somewhere with the remark that "We are all ONE". I love that! Such a great sentiment to start the new year with. Wishing one and all a blessed new beginning as we move forward through endless cycles of time! For me this will be a year of transformation and growth. I welcome it!

Embracing Life and The Year Ahead

2010-12-31T16:46:00.008-05:00

Hard to believe, but I have already been in Austin for almost three months. That's a quarter of a year!! I definitely feel like I "live" here now. I'm pretty comfortable with our apartment, with my bank, post office, grocery store.....you know, the basics. I have a job that seems pretty steady. "Life" is falling into place. Also, now that the craziness of the holidays are practically over, things will start to feel pretty "normal" around here. It might surprise you, but a sense of normalcy really makes me happy! :)

Austin City Skyline

I look forward to being more settled in the next few months. I've been rather homesick, and I know part of the reason for that is because we've been so unsettled with things. Nothing has felt solid or real or remotely permanent. Though I do question my length of stay here in Austin in the long term, for right now, I know I need to focus on what IS and embrace it. I am here, NOW, and Austin is a great city!! Tom and I have barely scratched the surface in seeing all that it has to offer. I look forward to exploring more of this city with an open heart and mind.

Canoe at Barton Springs

As I approach the new year, I plan on updating weekly about our lives here in Austin. I figure it's a good way for me to keep tabs on my progress here, and it's also a great way to keep close family and friends up to date on our lives.

I actually need to get to work soon. I wanted to update a bit on our December here in Austin, but that'll have to wait till later. If I don't update tonight, I just want to wish everyone a quick...

Happy New Year!!!

Embrace all that has come to pass, and all that is bound to be!! I am welcoming 2011 with open arms. I'm excited to see where it leads me. Everyone have a merry and safe New Year's Eve!

The Path of Our Choosing

2010-12-29T22:37:00.004-05:00

Where are you now?

And where would you like to go?

I reflect and attempt to choose my path with an awakened consciousness. I embrace complete awareness as I look into the future. I have the power to create all that I desire.

Wishing you well on your chosen path as we enter the new year!!

I Am A Soul Coach.

2010-12-29T02:13:00.002-05:00

As the days continue on, I must remember to remind myself that "It's Happening!!".

This past month has been a bit of a whirl. It's so easy to get lost in the ways of the every day, when the main focus is to simply make ends meet. Routines take over and our energy reserves get depleted. New responsibilities take precedence and our passions get pushed aside. I question my priorities over and over, knowing that I need to pay rent and buy groceries. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't what I planned. But it is exactly where I happen to find myself.

I know life doesn't have to be this way. I've dug myself out of this hole before. How did I cycle back into this reality? I am abundant in so many ways. Blessed by the amazing and loving people in my life. Blessed to have experienced multiple cities. Blessed in knowing that there is so much more to life than this!! The daily grind!! As I go about my current life, hesitation arises, along with sadness. It takes effort, but I have to remind myself that there is more to the story than what is being presented. The life of my dreams still exists, even if only in my mind. Manifestation is always a possibility. The thought IS the first spark!!

I've been thinking, very much, in the back of my mind lately. Little zips and zaps of my brain continue to remind me that I haven't been focusing on the path meant for me. I know what I am "supposed" to be doing for myself. But instead, I find myself falling into the traps of a society, bent on keeping me down. I need to refocus!! I need to re-energize myself with the knowing that I am a divine being. That all I need is already provided. I need to trust and let go and allow the wind to carry me deep into the realms of possibility.

I've worked very hard over the past year. I had goals, and I have achieved every single one. For this I am thankful. One of my largest accomplishments was becoming a Certified Soul Coach and Past Life Coach. I am incredibly grateful for my experiences related to this. I know that I am a changed person, a better person. My interests in spiritual studies have expanded, and I feel intensely connected to the earth. I know I will continue to learn and grow as time propels me forward. As I grow, I also know that I need to share what I have learned. That is where my focus ultimately needs to land, and where it needs to strengthen! I must embrace all that I am and all that I have to share. This is incredibly important. I want to help other people create the lives of their dreams, while I continue to create my own visions and incredible realities. In all that I do, I know I must lead by example.

That being said, I must break out of the mundane. Working as a server at a restaurant is not my dream. But living and loving others, helping them on their life's paths, IS! It is time for me to readjust and break out of the cycle that has "defined" me thus far. At the same time I must remember that this "me" isn't real, unless I give it that power. In true reality, I am but one piece of a giant cosmic puzzle, a puzzle that we all are part of. It is time for me to rearrange myself in order to fit into an easier spot with more light, love, acceptance, and kindness. I am full of potential, to be all that I dream, as are you. I want to choose to utilize my blessings. I want to embrace my life as a Soul Coach!! It is a choice I am making. And in this choice, I feel the truth of my voice shouting from my throat chakra, "THIS IS IT!!". Yes, I hear you. The life I have imagined IS INDEED HAPPENING!

Blogging Into the New Year!!

2010-12-28T16:48:00.002-05:00

The new year is approaching fast!! In preparation, I am revamping my little blog here. I'm setting a "blog schedule" for myself, creating daily goals. As always, I will do my best and see how it works out. I figure, if I can keep things fairly simple, focusing on what I love most...then keeping up with my schedule should be a piece of cake (a vegan piece that is!). I will take it day to day, one precious post at a time, placing one foot in front of the other. That seems to work best for me. :) I also plan on changing the look of my blog!! I'm excited to get a little more creative as I learn more and more about how to do so. Thanks for tuning in!!

working and grateful

2010-12-22T14:30:00.009-05:00

YES!! I finally have a solid job here in Austin!! I'm working as a server at a restaurant called 24Diner. It's a casual work atmosphere, but with a great Culinary Institute chef-inspired menu and a fantastic Old World wine list. 24Diner even has it's own sommelier! My co-workers seem friendly, and I'm in the heart of the city at 6th and Lamar. I've only been "on the floor" for about a week, but I'm hoping to become a pretty integral part of the team there. I'm excited to be meeting some fun people, and it feels good to be working so close to all the downtown Austin action!

I'm excited to be working and finally making some money!! (I haven't had a "real" job in about three months...yes, it was nice! Haha!) The downfall is that, now that I'm working, other parts of my life have had to be placed on hold, which I don't like. I'm hoping that as I get into the swing of things with a regular schedule at 24Diner, I'll be able to keep up with my priorities...like this blog for one thing!! :) And I really want to start some painting. I've been incredibly inspired lately to work on some mandala art!! And I need to get going on my Gateway Dreaming course (which I plan on starting with the new year)!! And I reallllllly want to get moving on this Soul Coaching® business that I've got goin' on!!

I did finally get some Soul Coaching® business cards which I am thrilled about!! It's definitely a beginning!! This past month, I've been making an effort to attend workshops and classes around Austin that are focused on the metaphysical and spiritual realms. I've introduced myself as a Soul Coach, and NOW I have the business cards to prove it. Haha! This is fantastic!! I've met some really beautiful and inspiring people with great ideas and helping hands. They have huge hearts and tremendous warmth amongst them. I'm excited to see what I can learn from these open-hearted individuals while here in Austin, and I look forward to the growth that will come through knowing them. I am grateful!!!

My Jesus Year - A Resurrection of the Soul

2010-12-05T16:45:00.005-05:00

Today I welcome another birthday into my life! I am entering my 33rd year, what I also refer to as my "Jesus year". To some, this designation may sound offensive, but in actuality I think it's a wonderful tribute!! I first heard this phrase coined about 5 years ago, when another friend entered her Jesus year at the age of 33. I loved the wittiness of such a coining, and the idea has stuck with me. I've been looking forward to my own Jesus year with excitement and anticipation ever since! Now, here I am at 33 years old. What does it mean to enter this year in my life?

It is speculated that Jesus was 33 years old when he was crucified, brought to death, and then buried. According to the stories of the christian faith, that would mean that he died and arose from the dead at that young age, becoming an archetypal symbol of Resurrection that has lasted about two thousand years. (As a side note... The butterfly has often been used as a symbol depicting the resurrection of Jesus, as stated in my last blog entry!!)

The theme of Resurrection has had a strong presence in my life since I was born. My name, "Stacey", comes from the greek "Anastasia", which simply means "resurrection". Being born in December, there is also the pagan reflection on the winter solstice. Pagans believe in the "death" of the sun as the hours of daylight shorten, and then the "rebirth" of the sun as days are lengthened with more light. (This belief ties in strongly with the stories of Jesus, God's "son", who died and then rose into the heavens.) My life experience has gifted me with my own personal experiences of resurrection as well, having survived a life-threatening motor vehicle accident, and a house fire. Both experiences had their ways of interrupting my life's path, so that I could begin anew. For that I feel blessed!

With all of that said, the idea of growing into my 33rd year on this planet is quite exciting! I see this year as a year of great transformation for myself (just like Jesus or the butterfly). I am letting go of the old, and grasping onto the new. I'm living in a new town, surrounded by new people. I'm embarking on my Soul Coaching® career, which is an entirely new endeavor and adventure!! Ultimately, I am reinventing myself, creating the life of my dreams. As I look forward into my "Jesus year", I see a resurrection of my spirit and my soul! Life is leading me to explore new horizons, pushing me beyond my own expectations. Thirty three will be a life-changing year!!! I can feel it! Today, every moment, and specifically this year, I am being resurrected into a new way of being. I am thankful for the awareness of this transformational time!!

Butterfly Messages!

2010-11-30T20:14:00.012-05:00

Today, I had an experience that really brought to light a symbol that has been entering my life consistently since moving to Austin. This morning, I had the pleasure of listening to some of Denise Linn's radio show on Hay House Radio. She was talking about symbols and the messages life likes to give to the soul. In Denise's talk, she mentioned coincidences, strange out-of-the-blue occurrences in our lives, as well as the messages given by nature and animals. There was much discussion about birds and what different birds might mean to an individual. I wasn't able to finish the entire show, but the ideas presented stuck with me as I continued on with my day.

Tom and I had some errands to run, so we hopped in the car and headed over to Kinko's, a copy store in the area. As we were driving, I started thinking about a turkey that had flown over my car about a year ago, back when I was in Binghamton, NY. I was still stuck on the idea of birds and the symbols they might represent. My mind continued to meander, and I thought, "Man...a symbol like that could REALLY get your attention if it just hit your windshield!!". (Not meaning to be morbid...but that really would catch your attention!!) Just as I had that thought, a butterfly caught it's wing underneath the windshield wipers on tom's car. It was stuck there for about 30 seconds, as we rounded a corner. Then, once we slowed down to stop, the butterfly again regained it's ability to maneuver itself and flew away! (I hope he was okay!!)

Now, to me, that was an amazingly synchronistic occurence!! I was thinking about symbols landing on the windshield, and here was a beautiful and delicate butterfly showing up right before me. I almost dismissed the event, but instead I spoke aloud to Tom what I had been thinking just as the butterfly got caught on his car. We both had an "Aha!" moment, as this was most definitely a symbol I was meant to pay attention to!

Since first arriving in Austin, I've actually had many run-ins with butterflies! The first time, we were out for lunch with some friends and a couple of butterflies kept landing on me. They'd fly away and come back. I was surprised and delighted by their presence. This happened again when I was working on my 28 day Soul Coaching program, taking a day to connect with the earth. I sat in a tree and a number of butterflies continued to visit me while I was there. They'd land on my legs, walk around a bit, untwirl their long tongues and just kind of hang out. I loved their company!! When I went on a vision quest just a few weeks ago, I again noticed butterflies, but dismissed them, as I was hiking in nature and simply expected them to be there.

butterfly on my vision quest

I've now come to the realization that my dismissal of the presence of butterflies came too soon! It is interesting to note, that the amount of energy I've been giving to my soul's journey, coincides with the frequency and intensity of my butterfly experiences here in Austin. I've been losing some of my focus recently, but today, after listening to Denise Linn's show and contemplating a bit about the journey of the soul in relation to symbolism, the message rang loud and clear. The butterflies I've been encountering definitely had something to teach me! So, when I got home from a long day of errands, I typed into my computer "butterfly symbolism". This is what I found...

Most obviously, the butterfly is a symbol of "transformation". From larvae, to cocoon, to magnificent butterfly, incredible transformation takes place, to the point where the butterfly is completely different and unrecognizable at the end of it's lifespan. The butterfly goes through immense change throughout it's short life, and it does so with amazing grace and unwaivering faith. It accepts the transitions in it's life, understanding and knowing that undergoing such metamorphosis is for it's own good. The butterfly embraces the call of nature, and in the end is gifted with the ability to fly!! Another symbol of the butterfly in relation to these circumstances is "resurrection". After the earth chomping larvae goes to sleep in it's cocoon (a type of tomb), it then comes back to life (a spiritual resurrection) more glorious than ever before!

Many cultures also recognize the butterfly as a symbol for the "soul". This representation really stood out to me, as it is directly connected to my life's path as a Soul Coach. I believe all beings are on a soul journey. Throughout our lives, we go through countless experiences that shift our perceptions and change our circumstances, bringing us ever closer to our soul's most authentic way of being. As we follow our spiritual path with grace and acceptance, our soul's grow lighter and lighter. Just like the butterfly, we grow and change, until ultimately our spirit's are able to rise above in lightness of being. The butterfly is a grand example of just how to approach these changes and metamorphoses throughout life. Through patience, acceptance, and the ability to change with grace, our soul's will ultimately be lighter so that we can soar to higher planes of understanding and existence.

After reflection on the symbolism of butterflies, I can definitely see and feel what messages were in store for me. In my current life, I feel that my soul is going through immense change, though at the present time I feel static and stifled. I feel that I've come so far in my spiritual evolution, yet I have so much farther to go. I am transforming internally now, and it's a slow process. My soul is in transition. I can see on the horizon though, a glorious life, helping others as they embark on their own soul journeys. I am gathering that this is a time for me to rest, like the larvae rests in it's cocoon before releasing itself to the universe as a beautiful butterfly!! The message now is to take each moment with patient knowing. I must accept my current circumstances and go with the flow, having faith that all will turn out beautifully, as I know it will.

I am on the verge, once again, of resurrecting myself into a new way of being. I am excited and happy for this transformation. I welcome change and look forward to my future. For now, I will wait for my moment in stillness and acceptance. I ask for grace to guide me as I transition into my new life. Thank you butterflies for the awareness you've given me, as it keeps me centered and feeling like I'm on the right track!! One motto I and my fellow Soul Coaches learned from Denise Linn while in California this past September was that "It's happening!". I think that is exactly what the butterflies are trying to tell me. If I continue with faith and patience, I too will emerge like a beautiful butterfly!! Thank you for the messages meant for my soul.

127 Hours

2010-11-22T13:31:00.006-05:00

Last night, Tom and I saw the movie "127 Hours". I loooooved it!! The story touched me very deeply. The main character's experience was intensely traumatic, and I felt a kinship and relation to his story, having been a "survivor" of my own traumatic experience in the past (my accident). The courageous strength and will of Aron Ralston to survive his predicament is incredibly inspiring! I was absolutely blown away. And his reflection on family and appreciating the people in one's life, reminds us all to do the same, while we have the chance!! Here's the trailer.....

Hair and Beyond

2010-11-18T14:04:00.021-05:00

When I was younger, one of my first friends was a girl named Stacy. Her mom and my mom were best friends as teenagers, and in 1974 they both graduated from high school together. Before they knew it, adult life took over causing them both to go their separate ways. My mom stayed in Binghamton, New York, married to my father, while my mom's friend, Annette, moved to California with her military husband. They stayed in touch, and it wasn't long before both young women found themselves pregnant! Unbeknownst to each other at the time, both my mom and Annette chose the same name for their soon to be born baby daughters. As it would turn out, I was to be "Stacey" (with an "e") and Annette's daughter would be "Stacy" (no "e"). We grew up calling her Stacy Lynn, and I was Stacey Jean!!

That's me, with Stacy Lynn to the right.

My first memories of Stacy Lynn go back to when I was about 4 years old. My family had traveled to California on a vacation to visit. We went to Disney Land, Universal Studios, and the beach. Though I was little, and despite distance, I felt a kinship to Stacy Lynn and her family. Throughout the years, they would travel back to Binghamton to visit their extended family, and our mom's would make a date to take us to both Chuck E. Cheese's and the carousel at Recreation Park. Eventually, when I was in the third grade, Stacy's family moved back to upstate NY and we became close friends. Our mom's often hung out when we were little, so Stacy and I did almost everything together.

Annette, Stacy Lynn's mom, was a hairdresser, as was Stacy's grandmother. After a few years of being back in New York, I remember their family building a house with their very own beauty parlor attached to the front. One thing Stacy Lynn and I would do together was spend hours in the shop, playing with mannequins and doing their hair. I also remember playing Barbie dolls with Stacy, and while I would just brush and braid their hair, Stacy Lynn thought nothing of cutting it right off! Doing hair was in her blood, and years later, Stacy Lynn also became a hairdresser just like her mom. Eventually, Annette opened her own shop called Hair and Beyond on Robinson Street in Binghamton, and once Stacy was able, she became co-owner.

Hair and Beyond Salon

Fast forward many many years, and here we are now in 2010. The salon is still going strong, with a loyal clientele. Despite their success, Stacy Lynn and Annette have endured some trying times over the past couple of years. As a respite to all that was going on in their personal lives, they decided to focus some of their energy on an uplifting activity. They entered a national contest called Matrix Mannequin Mania . Again, Stacy Lynn found herself playing with mannequins! With the help of her co-workers, she created some fantastic designs. Her mannequin entitled "The Widower" actually became a finalist in this national competition! With lots of hard work, prayer, and intense rallying for votes, Stacy and Annette's hopes for winning were high! And lo and behold, they WON!!! Now, Hair and Beyond is known nationally, while Stacy Lynn and Annette, the shop's owners, are $25,000 richer!! I'm incredibly happy for them! They deserve it!!

Spirals on the wall!

Stacy Lynn's success inspired this post! As it is, a few years ago, I had the opportunity to give a little of myself to their shop, Hair and Beyond. Annette had opened the salon in the mid 80's, so the decor needed a little bit of a makeover. I was available and more than happy to help out. I spent numerous nights painting decorative work on the interior walls. Hot pink, black, and white were Stacy and Annette's colors of choice. I thank them for the chance to do a little artwork for them. I got a lot of positive feedback for my work, and wanted to take a moment to share. :)

Abstract Florals!

Checkered!

My photos aren't of the best quality. I had always hoped to take some more professional looking shots. But, you get the idea! I had alot of fun painting at Hair and Beyond, and hope to do some similar work in the future!! Wish me luck! Maybe some of Stacy Lynn's and Annette's good fortune will drift my way. :)

My Ten Year Anniversary!!!

2010-11-15T14:00:00.015-05:00

Today marks ten years since I was in a near fatal automobile accident. TEN YEARS!! I feel like I've been waiting for this day to make it's appearance for quite some time now. I feel this is "the end" of an era in my life, marked by both horrific grief and tremendous growth over the years. This decade entered my life a long time ago, and now it's time for it to say it's goodbyes.

Ten years ago, I was traveling with a New Jersey pop-punk band called Midtown. My boyfriend at the time, Alex had already traveled with them a bit, selling merchandise and helping out with their tours over the previous summer. As the fall rolled by, and they were preparing to leave yet again for another tour in November, they realized they would need an extra hand. I had nothing of importance going on at the time, as I had recently graduated from college and was "in-between", not really knowing what to do with my life, so I volunteered myself to go. After a little apprehension on Midtown's part, because I was "a girl", and because I was Alex's girlfriend, they agreed to have me on board!! I'd be the "merch-girl", selling t-shirts, CD's, and stickers to eager 16 year olds, as we made our way across the US, touring with other bands such as Reel Big Fish, Bloodhound Gang, Dashboard Confessional, and A New Found Glory.

I was excited to go. What an amazing opportunity to do some traveling, and being surrounded by music made it even better!! I'd really only driven along the East Coast, so I was looking forward to checking out more of the country. We left early on election day in November of 2000. I remember saying goodbye to my mom and Alex's family quite vividly that morning. The air was crisp, but the sun was shining! Midtown picked us up at Alex's home. Our parents made acquaintance with the guys in the band, and then it was time for us to pack up and say our farewells. We then loaded ourselves into a 16 passenger van with a trailer on the back. Repeatedly, my overly protective mother kept saying, "Be Careful!!!" and "Wear your seatbelt!!!". Annoyed and aggravated, I kept saying in return, "Don't worry, mom!" and "We'll be fine!!". It was time for us to go!

The first week or so of tour was great. I was starting to get to know the guys better, as I was proving myself to be a a valuable part of the team. I never backed down, as a "typical girl" might have, from doing any of the grunt work. Loading and unloading the trailer was part of my job. I was grateful for the opportunity to tour, and appreciated being given the chance, so I was willing to help out in any way. I enjoyed creating a display for Midtown's t-shirts and CD's each night, and it was a pleasure to meet fans as we toured from city to city. We made our way to St. Louis, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Chicago and a few other places before heading back east to Springfield, NJ where we took a break for a couple of days before heading up north to Boston.

November 15th was the day we started our journey. We began by driving up 95 North, past New York City, and into Connecticut. I remember getting McDonald's for lunch. A vegetarian version...a burger with no meat, just cheese, and french fries. (One of the requirements in being able to tour with Midtown was keeping a vegetarian diet. I had always wanted to try this, and now I had to do it. I thank Midtown for launching my vegetariansim!) After eating, we loaded back into the van, got situated for our drive, and were on our way. I was feeling sleepy, so Alex went to the back of the van, so I could have one of the longer seats to myself. I laid down for a nap, covered myself with a blanket and propped my head on a pillow. I did NOT put on my seatbelt. None of us did when we were sleeping in the van.

The next thing I remember was waking up to the van swerving violently. I stood up straight in my seat, and then the scene goes black. Apparently, a deer had run out into highway traffic on 95, and Gabe, the lead singer of Midtown, who happened to be driving at the time, instinctively swerved so as to miss it. In that moment, control of the vehicle was lost, as the trailer jack-knifed, and the van skidded across the highway. With momentum, the van and trailer flipped, landing on it's side and upside down respectively. Once everything stopped, I was told that everyone inside the van looked around, making sure everyone was all right. They had all been alert enough to grab onto something and brace themselves, as the van swerved out of control. My boyfriend had hit his head pretty bad, but outside of that, everyone seemed okay. Right away though, they noticed I wasn't there! Heath, one of the guitarists, lept through a window of broken glass to find me. Apparently, I had been thrown approximately 40 feet, landing with my head between two rocks. It must've been a bloody scene, as my head had been scalped by the glass of the van's window, when I had been propelled from the van.

Luckily for all of us, traveling behind our van was a nurse. He ran over to us, and apparently stabilized me as best as he could. Soon, the ambulance came, and I was taken to William W. Backus Hospital in Norwich, CT. I was immediately treated for internal injuries and extreme bleeding. I had lost two thirds of my blood and required a transfusion. My lungs had collapsed, so tubes were inserted under my arms. My liver had been lacerated, and my stomach and spleen had both ruptured, so surgery took place right away. On top of that, my neck and right shoulder blade had been broken. I had lost so much blood, and my body had experienced so much trauma, that hospital staff didn't think I would live through the night.

My family was of course notified as soon as possible. They raced across landscape and time to reach me five hours later in Connecticut, from Binghamton, NY. They waited in anticipation of my condition, in what I could only imagine was horrible anguish. My uncle, a retired Fireman and Ambulance worker, tried to prepare my mom for the worst, as his hopes for my survival were pretty low. That night, a priest read me my last rights, prepping my soul for it's transition to the spiritual realm. I can't even imagine what my family must have been going through. In later years, my parents and friends have described to me their experiences and emotions during this time, and it breaks my heart. In a way, that time was easier for me, as I don't even remember it.

As it turns out, I deceived all odds, and actually survived this traumatic event in my life. I was considered "the miracle child" in the hospital. Though there are a few days that I don't remember at all right after the accident, time and light did start to slowly fade back into my consciousness. I remember my mom asking me questions, and me squeezing her hands. She asked if my grandma jo had been there with me at the time of the accident, and I apparently indicated "yes". I couldn't talk, because of all of the tubes down my nose and throat, but I do remember trying to write out answers with a pencil for her and the rest of my family. Interspersed in that time, I vaguely remember people visiting me, giving me their love. Old friends, extended family, and a few unexpected. Their presence was appreciated in more ways than they will ever know!

Eventually I was a little more aware and I was in a condition to speak. First, I remember my dad being in the room, and asking him what had happened. He assured me that everyone else, including Alex, was okay. Then he told me about the accident and about my condition. I wanted to see what I looked like, so my dad graciously brought me a mirror, but not without warning me of what I'd see. My long hair had been chopped, in order to rid myself of the twigs, glass, and blood that had made their home there, and I had a gigantic sewn up gash and bump across my forehead, reminiscent of frankenstein. I didn't look like myself, but I accepted it rather easily in my condition. What else could I do?

At this time, I also expressed to my dad what my first memories were following the accident. I told him that I could visualize Alex standing in some grass, away from me, with his hand on his forehead (where, unknowingly to me at the time, he had bumped it!). He was shaking his head and said "I love you, Stace!". This memory was so incredibly clear and fresh and pristine in my mind's eye. I can only make sense of it by declaring that it was an out of body experience I was having, when I envisioned him. As soon as Alex said he loved me, my soul came crashing back into my body. I felt it!!! And then there were flashing orange and blue lights around me, like stars circling my head and body. That's when I came back into human consciousness. I could hear the paramedics speaking to me, telling me what they were doing. And then I was on the gurney being transported into the ambulance. And I remember wailing "It huuuuurts!!" out loud, as I could feel my insides falling apart, and my chest heavy because I couldn't breathe. This is where my memory again fades to black........

Later on, Alex was able to confirm my memory of him standing in the grass. I was, and still am, absolutely confident that my spirit lifted into another realm, what I now refer to as "the spirit world", for a short time, shaking itself loose from the bodily trauma that I was experiencing. I don't ever remember questioning my will to live, while I was out of my body, but I do honestly believe that if Alex hadn't said those loving words when he did, my chances for survival might've been slimmer. I will always be grateful to him for "saving my life". I really believe he did.

I stayed in the hospital in Connecticut for about three and a half weeks. It was then decided that I'd be transported to Binghamton, in order to make things easier for my family and loved ones. Alex's dad slowly drove me home in the freezing cold in their minivan where I could be situated somewhat comfortably for the long ride. It was awful. And the coming months, healing at home, were awful. I was in ridiculous amounts of pain. And I was severely depressed. I was eventually referred to a therapist, who after talking to her about my out of body experience, told me to read a book by Dr. Brian Weiss called Many Lives, Many Masters. Reading that book changed my life!!

I still had a long road ahead of me though. I didn't work for six months. And my depression didn't leave me for years. Still, I had the support and love of so many around me, and I will forever be grateful for that. My vulnerability allowed for the deepening of some of my relationships. And I was able to encompass so much more compassion for others, due to my own experience. I realized that I wanted to do more in my life than paint upholstery patterns (what I went to college for). Instead, I wanted to dedicate my life to helping people. So, that became my mission. I wasn't sure how I'd get there, but I knew I would. My twenties were a time of growth, and my accident at the age of 22 was the true catalyst. I've changed my mind, as to my soul's purpose, many times over the years. But, here I am now, a Certified Soul Coach and Past Life Coach.

It's amazing, how going through the most traumatic events in our lives can sometimes bear the biggest blessings. I would never wish my accident with it's physical and emotional scars on anyone. Yet, I am so thankful for having lived through it myself. I am a better person because of it. I am kinder, more loving, stronger, and more courageous than I ever could have been. Though I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress and depression for a long time, thanks to my experience, my aptitude for Joy and Love and Thanks is so much deeper.

Ten years!! I am so thankful for all that I have learned, and processed during this time. Now, I am ready to flip the pages and start a new chapter. Today is a new beginning, and I am so thankful for that. Thank you to all of those that have been by my side through the years. I love you more than I can say.

Trusting the Universe...

2010-11-05T11:35:00.007-04:00

Over the past couple of years, I've really learned the value of having small short-term "goals". It started when I needed a new computer, about two years ago. That became my main focus! I had other more lofty goals too, but nothing that I felt was completely attainable for me at the time. I was monetarily broke and heartbroken, at a low point in my life. My goals felt like whimsical dreams, and I had no idea how I would ever pursue them. They seemed so radiant and far away. I felt helpless in ever getting anywhere, and needed a way out. That's when I decided to take action by starting small! Putting one foot in front of the other, with patience, was the only way I felt I could accomplish anything. So, I focused on getting that new computer....not such a smalll task, as I could barely pay my bills, living off the wages of a hospital's registration staff.

Making that decision, to manifest a new computer in my life, when I had no financial means, changed my life. Simply put, this was the moment I began to trust in the Universe! As soon as I declared to the Universe, what I needed, at that moment life started to play along! Now, my new computer didn't just appear, out of thin air. Even before I was able to declare my intention, the Universe was working in my favor. Earlier that year, I had cleared all of my debt and learned a thing or two about budgeting my finances. I was living paycheck to paycheck, almost to the dime, but at least I had it under control! I had reclaimed my power financially, and knew that I was responsible for what I had, whether I had a little or a lot! Once I made the decision to get that new computer, I knew that nothing could stop me. I was doing my best, with what was available to me then. At that point, I also made the decision that I would never find myself in such a low place again, and therefore knew that the only way I could go now, was UP!

Still, I didn't quite know how I was going to get from point A to point B. How could I ever afford a new computer? I had just enough money to keep with the status quo of every day life. This was the time when I decided to let go of my control, so that I could simply TRUST! I put it out there! I stated that I needed a new computer, and I wanted it by the end of the year! I didn't know how my computer would come to be, but I KNEW that it WOULD happen, somehow!

In the end, manifestation took place when both of my parents committed to giving me some money for Christmas (I am so blessed!). Around this time, I also acquired another job, thanks to the powers of synchronicity. Though I had toyed with the idea of getting another job, I had yet to put in the time and energy needed to make that a reality. Despite my lack of effort, the universe pulled through for me, putting me in the right place at the right time. My ideal job, a perfect means for additional income, came to me one night, when I was out to dinner with my mom. A family friend from my childhood happened to be the bartender. My mom mentioned, loudly and in passing, that I was looking for another job (I was slightly embarrassed at my mom's big mouth at the time...haha!). But this opened the door, and our friend basically got the owner to hire me as a server, on the spot, that night! Such a gift! All I could do was say, "THANK YOU UNIVERSE"!! In knowing that I'd have the money from my parents, as a beginning payment, and then having the confidence that comes from knowing I'd have more income from a second job, I allowed myself the freedom to purchase the computer that I wanted, the one that I happen to be typing on right now.

That was just the beginning. In the past two years, I feel that anything I have set my mind to (or has been for my highest good, unbeknownst to me), has come to fruition. Nothing has happened overnight, but with set intention and trust in the Universe, these smaller short-term "goals" of mine have simplified themselves, to the point of becoming reality. Nothing has felt off limits. I got a new apartment on the east side of Binghamton, affordable and perfect, just as I was at my wits end with my place downtown. I was able to purchase some nice velvety brown couches for my new place! I met a guy, that was smart and sensitive and open to my independence, just when I though that might be impossible. I traded in my green stationwagon for a (new to me) midnight blue hyundai elantra!! I was able to give up my job at the hospital, in order to focus on my financial growth at Moxie, the restaurant I worked at. I was trusting the Universe that this was the best decision for myself at the time. And through hard work and the strength of my integrity, I was able to work my way to the top of the line, at my job! This allowed me to save the pennies I needed for a small vacation with my mom, for my Soul Coaching classes in California, and ultimately for my move to Texas this fall! When I think of all that I have accomplished in (less than) two years, I am blown away. I know I couldn't have done it all so well and so quickly, if I hadn't been able to trust in the powers of the Universe to fulfill my dreams.

This all brings me to now. I still have so much I want to accomplish. But, my mind has been foggy with the stresses of moving to a new place, being far from home, and getting settled. I haven't been trusting so much. I've been fearful and apprehensive. I've lost my patience, wanting my perfect life to manifest right this minute. Writing about all of this, brings back into focus, where I need to get myself once again. I need to let go. I need to trust. The Universe has gifted me with so much, and I can not forget the power that the Universe has! I am blessed to know this and to have experienced it! So, here I go.... I am handing over my control. I need a little help, and together with the power of the Universe, I hope to manifest all my dreams, one goal at a time. One foot in front of the other has worked for me in the past. Here I am, taking that first step. :)

Times in Texas.

2010-11-04T12:23:00.012-04:00

Tom and I have been in Austin for just about a month now, though it feels much longer. I guess that's probably a good sign, as I feel quite comfortable here. Austin is a nice town, not as big of a "city" as I thought it'd be. But, there's a lot going on here!!

Downtown seems to be a hoppin' place, though Tom and I have really only gone out, down and around 6th street, a couple of times. Most recently, we went to the Beauty Bar here in Austin, to see a band play. It wasn't really my scene, but still we enjoyed ourselves, listening to the music as I slowly drank my Sea Breeze cocktail. Ha!

We've mostly stayed over on the South side of town, enjoying the vegetarian dining options available to us! Austin is great for vegan food!! Our favorites so far are Kerbey Lane Cafe (awesome breakfast options!!!) and Mr. Natural (we enjoyed the most amazing, mint cream filled chocolate cucakes there...YUM!). Both of these places are pretty casual lunch type eateries, and both reasonably priced. Most of our dinners out have centered around Mexican food, as it is extremely abundant here, especially along South Lamar, where we live. One of my best friends works at a place called El Chile, so we've been there more than once. :) I've been loving the enchiladas with verde sauce. Mmmmm...

Austin is also blessed with many green spaces, some really closeby. We've most frequently visited the Barton Springs area, located in Zilker Park, right down the street from us. This is a natural pool fed from springs underground. It's really quite beautiful, and big! Apparently, it's the largest natural swimming pool in the United States. We've also enjoyed some of the wide open spaces in the park, just relaxing, enjoying the sunshine and the company of butterflies! There's also a large section near the park called the Barton Creek Greenbelt. Tom and I have only begun to explore this area. And it seems that there are many more greenbelts to seek out as well! Tom thinks he's going to start rock-climbing. I just want to get a bike!! :)

Outside of our love for good vegetarian food and nature, it's worthy to mention that there's a lot of good shopping around town, if you've got the time and money to spend! Fair trade options, consignment shops, thrift stores, half-priced books, antiques, record stores, etc. I love it, and can't wait to be settled in a job and monetarily stable, so as to be able to enjoy what's available. I'm not a HUGE shopper, but I do enjoy the occasional "fun" purchase once in awhile.

In between our mini-Austin explorations, Tom and I have just been relaxing at home, cooking more often, enjoying each other's company in the peace of our new place. We've also been trudging along, getting our lives in order, looking for profitable work, while at the same time trying to follow our dreams. It's hard for me to believe we've only been here for a month. WOW! I'm thankful to be here, in this NOW, with Tom. We have so much to look forward to, as we embark on this adventure together. Though I miss my friends and family terribly, I know that opportunities exist for me here, that I need to take the time to explore. I hope to enjoy all that Austin has to offer! Here's to living for today, and taking it all in, one Texan experience at a time!!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Jack O' Lanterns

2010-10-30T16:05:00.027-04:00

Halloween weekend is here!! The weather is beautiful and the leaves are crunchy. This is one of my favorite holidays and I always like to do something festive to celebrate. I had mentioned that Tom and I were baking vegan chocolate chip cookie cakes the other day, so I wanted to share them with you!

First of all, we used a recipe for "Chocolate Chip Bars" from the book How It All Vegan! by Tanya Barnard and Sarah Kramer. I always get nervous using recipes from books when I'm making vegan food. I'm afraid, especially when baking, that the cookies, cakes, brownies, etc. will come out dry or flavorless. But this recipe worked out pretty well. The only modification we made was to split up the batter, so instead of using a 9"x13" pan, we used two 8" round pans. Also....we opted for the use of Soy Milk over water. And I threw in about another half cup of chocolate chips!! Once our cakes were out of the oven and cooled, we got together some icing, dyed it orange, green, and black (or as close as we could get), and painted our big vegan cookies like carved halloween pumpkins!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Can you guess who decorated which? Haha!

They taste yummy and I can't seem to stop myself from digging in each and every time I find myself in the kitchen! On top of that, my mom sent Tom and I a cute little care package, festive with orange pumpkin and black cat confetti, and mini stuffed scarecrows, for Halloween. I've been digging in, indulging my sugar addiction, with gelatin free candy-corn and all sorts of snacks from a place called Apple Hills back in upstate NY. It's so nice to have a little taste of home this time of year!!

It's been hard getting into the spirit of the season, having just moved and living in a much warmer climate. But these little touches and warm thoughts have definitely helped to put my time and place into perspective. And I am so incredibly thankful for that!! I don't think Tom and I are putting together halloween costumes together this time around, but we've been brainstorming for next year!! It's gonna be gooooood! :)

Time to go enjoy the rest of this beautiful fall day!

Happy "Mischief Night" everyone!!

loving fall on this 28th day.

2010-10-28T21:21:00.015-04:00

Today marks the last day of a 28 day program I've been doing with my fellow soul coach family. I've really enjoyed reading our daily positive affirmations, realizing that IT REALLY IS HAPPENING, and working through these days with my soul group. It saddens me a bit to think that we won't all be on the same page anymore, in a literal sense, once we're finished! BUT....I know really, that this is just the beginning for all of us!! YES!! Tomorrow begins our soul's vision quest. I am super excited for this sacred process! And, I can't wait to share all that I have learned with all of my future soul coaching clients!! :)

Today my affirmation was, "I give love deeply and fully. I receive love deeply and fully. My essence is love." Such a beautiful way to sum things up! I am love. You are love. That's all that really is. Thank you universe for this awareness!!! I love each and every one of you.

And on this beautiful day of LOVE, the air in Austin decided to cool down a little bit, meaning it was absolutely GORGEOUS outside. :) Blue skies and warm winds causing leaves to scurry about makes me so happy!! It almost felt like a "cool" summer's day in September in upstate NY. And it was enough to put me in the mood to collect some festive fall pumpkins with Tom this afternoon!! :)

Now, Tom and I are just listening to some Jack White, while we wait for our chocolate chip cakes to cool off. We made them in round pans so we could decorate them like PUMPKINS!!! It's about time I go check on them. HAPPY FALL with LOVE everyone!!!! xoxoxoxo.

sharing from Austin, TX

2010-10-27T14:04:00.013-04:00

so...the time has come for me to start sharing more of my life with the world. i plan on doing this in little snippets, sharing whatever bits of insightful wisdom i can think of with the rest of you each and every day. (i'll do my best!) i am honoring that little voice inside my head that tells me that what i have to give, through this blog, is important. so here i go...

first of all...let's play catch up! i just moved to Austin, TX. yes...THIS girl from upstate NY is now living in the transient, musical, nature loving city of "weird". it's a change, to say the least. my boyfriend, Tom, and i arrived here at the beginning of october. now, i expected it to be warmer here than in New York, but it is now nearing the END of october, and it's still HOT!! i mean, it feels like the middle of july. yesterday, Tom and i sat in the park under the shade of a tree, sun blazing through the branches, blue skies above, green grass underfoot. it AMAZES me! it really does. i almost feel like i'm in a time warp. my head can't seem to wrap itself around the reality of my physical situation. and that, in and of itself, is probably the weirdest concept for me to grasp, so far, being a northeastern, upstate girl now living in Texas!!

squinting in the hot afternoon sun, on a walking bridge near downtown Austin!!

needless to say, Tom and i are still getting settled. there's still unpacking to do, organizing, painting, more unpacking! every day we get a little closer to "normalcy". we're also still figuring out how to create income for ourselves. Tom's been working hard looking for jobs, and has a few leads. he's even got a Director of Photography position in the works for a local company!! i'm proud of him. i've been working on getting my Soul Coaching practice started. YIPPIE!!! i can't wait to get "my business" off the ground! it fills me with so much joy to be able to focus on something i love every day. i know i am blessed!! still, until i start rolling in the dough via "my business", i need to get some money generating, so i've started looking for some server positions around town. i remind myself that my life is full of abundance...so i know something "just right" will come along. :)

whatever happens, i know that both Tom and i will be where we are supposed to be, in alignment with our highest good, while we live here in Austin. i'm trusting the universe to lead me (and he) on my (on our) best path(s). today i felt inspired to write, so that's what i did. listening to my heart and paying attention to the signals sent my way through synchronicities. that's the best way to live! life is so beautiful, and i'm happy to be able to share it with you!!

progress.

2010-10-21T02:40:00.013-04:00

quick update! i had an amazing time at summerhill ranch. i met beautiful people and learned other-worldly things. i am blessed!! AND i am now a Certified Soul Coach and Certified Past Life Coach. i am currently getting that all under way, so my little blog here has had to take a back seat.

if you'd like a brief inquiry as to what i've been up to, you can follow me on facebook at Stacey Jean Soul Journeys. i would love to see you there!! :)

many blessings to you. xoxo.

summerhill ranch.

2010-08-30T10:59:00.018-04:00

laundry. packing. and last minute details. i'm getting ready for an adventure. tomorrow i get on a flight taking me from binghamton, new york to san luis obispo, california. from there i will be picked up and taken deep into the hills where i will stay at Summerhill Ranch for nine days. hundred year old oak trees and baby chickens will welcome me there. i'm excited for my stay.

summerhill ranch looks beautiful.

i'm embarking on my training to become a soul coach and past-life regressionist. this is my starting point. the beginning of my most authentic path in life. i've studied these themes for almost ten years now, since i was in a near fatal automobile accident. since i had my very own "out of body experience". and now it is finally time to incorporate all that i know, into my life's work. so yes, soon i will be a certified soul coach. and i will have the skills needed to regress others into their past lives. i can't wait!!

so wish me well. i'm happy to take this journey. :)

beachy pause.

2010-08-18T23:36:00.013-04:00

so, i never made it to the yucatan. but i did make it to new jersey. with my mom. right now we're in wildwood. a childhood favorite. and grandma jo's most memorable summer destination. yes...the jersey shore...

i love it. sandy beaches that stretch longer than i ever remembered. busy boardwalks. rowdy roller coasters and that big beautiful ferris wheel. all lit up! watch the tramcar please! funnel cake and curley fries. the only food options for a strict vegetarian in these parts, since i no longer do fried haddock like i did when i was a child!! my mom's happy with the frozen custard or a big ice cream sundae from "the seashell". and amidst my vegan-esque leanings...i do have to say...man, i would really love some mack's boardwalk pizza! it just smells so damn good as we traverse the boardwalk each evening! i end up settling for the "polish water ice". they say it's "outta this world". :)

and so...tonight, here i sit in our hotel. the marlane. an irish place. all cozy. today it rained. my mom and i ventured to cape may. vacation shopping. and i'm completely saturated. had my fill of t-shirts and trinkets. best part of the day was dinner. we went to "godmother's". good service. red wine. fine salad. pasta with spinach. and some chocolate. then a short drive to see the lighthouse shining it's light. :)

tomorrow we head back to the beach. hoping for sunny skies. a mild enough breeze. relaxation. gotta work on this summer tan. i only have four more days left at my job back in bingo. time is moving so incredibly fast. and there are big changes on the horizon.

california soon will school me.

and then austin, texas will become my home.

will i see you in september?

2010-05-25T00:45:00.014-04:00

so, my boyfriend and i have been planning a trip to mexico....the yucatan peninsula...for awhile now. i'm in need of a nice beach vacation, and we both want to spend some time outdoors enjoying the sun!! it's time to relax.... :)

the yucatan is an especially good destination for us right now. first because it's cheap. and second, because i'm incredibly fascinated with the mayan culture that is prevalent there. i want to see chichen itza, tulum, the cenotes!! and it'd be nice to get there before the year 2012. i worry that the area will lose alot of it's mysticism, in the event that the mayan calendar, predicting the end of the world, proves to be false. on the other hand, if the earth does decide to give up on the human race, i want to have at least experienced the energy of this mysterious place before meeting my demise. either way, i'd like to visit soon...

our goal is september. but i worry... is the end of the world already on the horizon? at least for mexico, the rest of the caribbean, and the southern US? there's oil in the gulf. black blood. how long until it reaches further shores? maybe the mayans were right. animals are dying. eco-systems are dying. and if we, on this planet, are all ONE, as i believe, then we are ALL dying. i hope somebody with the right kind of power finally figures out a way to fix the whole mess. greed ruins everything. the oil spill needs to be a wake-up call, or we're all going to end up ASLEEP! just as the mayans predicted...

i hope mexico is never affected by this catastrophic event. i hope sea turtles lay lots of eggs and many baby turtles make their way to the oceans. i hope dolphins continue to play in their blue home. i hope the cenotes stay crystal clear with their other-worldly beauty. i hope the sandy and rocky shores of the yucatan remain pristine. and i hope i get to visit in september.

if the mayans were wrong, as i hope they were, i plan on visiting many more places before i die. i want to appreciate this planet for all of it's beauty. i want to take care of it and it's inhabitants. i want more people to understand that what we give to this planet is what we get, as a whole earth. everything living is affected by all that surrounds it.

so let's surround this planet (and all that dwell here) with some love and positivity. let's make conscious earth-loving decisions every day. not just for ourselves, but for future generations. it's time to make some changes!! it's time to raise our awareness as a whole!!! it begins with each of us taking responsibility for ourselves. it's time to step out of our bubbles and realize our connectedness. only then will we start to really take care of our planet. we need to see ourselves in each other!! we need to see ourselves in the earth, in the oceans, in the animals with which we coexist. we are all so intricately linked. it's time to recognize this and take actions that resonate with this truth. we need to come together as a whole, if we are ever going to survive!

i hope the yucatan survives.

and i hope to breath in it's energy this fall. :)

the ladybug chair is finished.

2010-05-21T01:52:00.017-04:00

and yes.....in case you were wondering......i finished the chair on time! my ladybug chair. the one that took more than four months to complete. no, i didn't spend four months painting it. i just spent about four months procrastinating. and thinking. and changing my mind over and over again as to how i would approach this wooden chair. but finally, i settled....and the battle between my mind and my paintbrush has, at least for now, come to an end.

so yes. the ladybug chair is done, and it's reception was a success.

i delivered the chair to it's recipients on saturday (i had it done on friday, my deadline, but was unable to meet up to make my delivery until the next day). wide eyes and "oh wow"s made me smile!! i said i was nervous that they might not like the chair,

that i didn't think it was what they might have expected. that comment was met with a sincere "it's more than we expected!!", which of course made me happy. they loved my ladybug chair!! and i felt complete. and i was reminded as to why i take on projects like this. because it fills others with delight. and even though i said i was done taking on such projects for other people...i think i might've been mistaken. that moment of exchange made the entire process worth everything. and there will be a little girl named "karalynn grace" who will get to enjoy my efforts for years to come.

i feel blessed that i can give this gift. the woman who commissioned the chair, later told me that i "paint from the heart". what an amazing thing to hear...a simple observation forcing me to reflect and acknowledge that which is indeed true. i am thankful for her words.

ladybugs.

2010-05-13T02:17:00.019-04:00

struggling to paint ladybugs. i've had this project for a few months now. a project involving the painting of, or should i say, decorating of a wooden chair for a child. a wooden chair meant to be adorned with ladybugs. that's the motif. ladybugs that i don't want to paint. tiny red bugs with black dots. i think it would've been easier to paint pink ladybugs. but this child's mother hates pink! even though this child is still only a baby. even though, to me, the idea of red and black seems awfully harsh for an individual so delicate and soft. so i actually haven't painted the chair, as one might have predicted. on the contrary, i used some green, some yellow, some orange, some brown. it's an earthy wooden chair. spotted with ladybugs. the red and black kind. i don't believe it's painted as expected....but i do hope the recipients like it. if i ever get it finished.....

my due-date is friday.

i've learned alot about myself, as an artist, by having taken on this project. i'm through with "decorating". meaningless, thoughtless, under-appreciated color placed onto a surface with a steady, predictable hand is no longer fulfilling. hence, i have decided that i can no longer paint what others want me to paint. the time has come for me to claim my talent as my own, so that i can utilize it as it is meant to be utilized. i've known this for awhile now. far too many ideas fly through my mind and are lost. lost because i'm always focusing on what i need to do for other people, instead of harnessing my power to really truly create! i simply don't have the time, energy, or motivation to do anything but pursue my own personal bouts of inspiration, any more. i don't have to paint. but i want to. and what i want to paint comes from visions in my head, brought on by my very own internal and personal processes that only i can interpret. there is much to be expressed, trapped inside this crazy skull. and i'm the best person, or rather, the ONLY person who can create those expressions!

but for now, i still continue to struggle with these ladybugs. i said i'd get this chair finished. and i'm a woman with integrity. so, i'll get it done. somehow. slowly. hopefully by friday....