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Most days, I receive emails from Mums in business or Mummy bloggers, wanting to know my ‘secrets to success’?

To ask me a couple of questions or pick my brain about how to ‘reach the heights I have’ since starting Sunny Mummy?

When I open these, I wonder if they are really writing to me?

I don’t see myself as super successful, I see myself as a woman with a passion who had an idea, ran with it and never lost sight of WHY she was doing it. {this last bit is VERY important if you are not actually making any money & are very close to needing a *ahem* job}

So, much to the disappointment of the faithful requester, you will never find me writing back to you or writing articles on how to increase your sales or followers, grow your blog or hustle the shit out of your brand because at the end of the day, there was no FORMULA to the successful growth of Sunny Mummy, I just did what I was passionate about, in my opinion ‘needed’ and have always played nice or simply taken myself out of the game.

So, for those who are interested, my simple and only advice in business, blogging and beyond is this;

• Genuinely care about what you do and why you do it.
• Concentrate on what YOU are doing and don’t worry about anyone else.
• Comment on a blog because you enjoyed reading it.
• Like a page because you enjoy their updates or like their product.
• Keep it simple  and KIND at all times.
• Collaborate rather than compete.
• Be unique. Whilst imitation is most certainly a form of flattery, there is a line & unfortunately far too many people are willing to cross it. I know this FIRSTHAND and the person who copied me is far more successful in terms of numbers (both people & dollars) however I believe you can’t put a price on integrity.
• ALWAYS ask for help but don’t EXPECT people to do that. Understand people are busy.
• Support others. Encourage them, let them know you like their work or product.
• Stay true to YOU because comparison is the thief of joy.
• Trust your gut, even if others think your crazy. Some things you only know by doing.
• Care about the numbers, those numbers are PEOPLE but remember, it’s nice to have the people but if the people are not buying what you are selling, then you do not have a business. I am learning this the hard way and working on turning it around STAT.

Finally, strive for authenticity.

STOP trying to make everyone else feel OK, so you feel ‘liked’. Not everyone is going to like you, your blog or products, accept it now and save the emotional exhaustion.

Authenticity and business are a hard road to travel and impossible to do when you are trying to manage and control how others perceive you.

Be more concerned with being honest about your beliefs with people, than telling them what you THINK they want to hear.

Business is a game and there is lots of ball throwing….

Find a group of businesswomen that play FAIR and bring your balls, there are times when you NEED em

Wishing you truck loads of SUCCESS with YOU first and your business second because all the business/blogging success in the world cannot make up for failure in your heart and home!

Stace x

PS If you have any specific business or blogging questions for me, you can submit your question on the ‘Ask Stacey’ forum in the Sunny Mummy Sisterhood whilst also connecting with lots of mums in business and blogging who are bursting with ideas and integrity.

See you there!

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 There comes a time in life, where we all lose our way.

As you walk your path, it may creep up on you slowly or hit you suddenly, that not only are you lost, you don’t have a map and are running out of water.

In this moment, we have to decide not only WHAT course of action we will take but WHO, we will be.

And when this happens, it can rattle the foundations of not only who we thought we were becoming, but who we never really were.

Leaving us with only, who we are NOW.

And it’s scary stuff.

It’s like being naked and in many ways it is.

Because when life takes a sudden turn and you find yourself lost, the people you thought would always be there to guide you, don’t always show up. And you feel stripped.

Bare naked and lost.

So you have to decide to be brave. To stop serving others your pain and face your fears.

If we could only sit long enough to find the light switch to our own soul, we would realise there is so much solace within and that anything extra, is a bonus. However, for many of us, that seems too hard.

It’s far easier to whack a bandaid over it and keep soldiering on, until the wound opens up again.

Or worse, to make an identity out of our pain and keep offering it like bad Chinese food at an ‘all you can eat’ buffet.

Sooner of later, you have to realise that the only one eating, is you and furthermore, it’s making you sick.

So it’s time to cut back. To stop serving your pain to others but more importantly to yourself because as Eckart Tolle so eloquently put it….

As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.

So ask yourself today, how can I free myself of the weight I am under?

Where can I find the bravery I need to move forward and find my way?

Believe me, people want you to be happy and mostly, want to help, but you’ve got to want to help yourself. You’ve got to SHOW UP for yourself and be EASY to talk to about HARD things!

And once you own it, it is yours to do with,  what you will…..

So go ahead, look within, search for that solace and by all means, reach out too, just don’t expect to find your MAP out there, in someone else’s hands, you already have everything you need to find your way, right here, inside of YOU.

All you’ve got to do is be brave enough to embark on the search, making sure to look in all the RIGHT places!

Can you relate?

Stace x

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Recently I was given some advice about writing.

Advice that really spoke to me and immediately had me feeling like I needed to give the ‘method’ a try.

I figured it would help me become a better writer. That my message would be heard and understood more effectively.

But then I got to thinking…

I write but I am not a writer.

I talk but I am not a speaker.

I counsel but I am not a counsellor.

Am I all of these things or none of them?

Then I saw the image above and it seemed so fitting…

I am an AUTHOR and not just any Author, the Author of MY life.

I write, I talk, I counsel and I am constantly learning…

I am passionate about my work and helping others and be damned if I am going to follow anything other than my heart and intuition when it comes to this life gig and WHO, not WHAT I am.

Courage

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In today’s fast paced world, it is all too easy to get caught up in how others are doing things.

Just yesterday, I woke up like every other day, full of energy, ready to take on the world and yet as I opened my screen and started my work day, a feeling of overwhelm slowly crept in.

It didn’t hit me like a sudden storm, more like something I could see brewing in the distance, that may or may not, come my way.

You know those times where you feel like you have SO much to do, you couldn’t possibly take a break?

That is EXACTLY when taking a break is ESSENTIAL, because it means that you have lost your balance and said YES too many times or allowed many little seemingly important things, to creep in and take over the really important things.

OR

You are staying so busy, to avoid DEALING, even when you think DEALING is exactly what you have been doing.

I suspect I have been doing this for far too long and rather than sit with the open wound and take the time to really THINK about what is required to heal, I whack a bandaid over it and keep going, until it opens up again.

So what did I do? I took myself down to the beach and threw myself in the sea…

No phone, no podcasts, no updates, no music, no taking notes, no instagram…

Just me and the sea, coming to a deal, to CONNECT to what really matters.

Sometimes, we are connected to SO many things, things we believe are important and necessary, that we are in grave danger of disconnecting from the main, most important line….our LIFE line.

Yesterday I started the search for what TRULY matters to me.

No more band aids, no more rushing,  ’thinking’ I am dealing and healing.

I have come to realise I am too caught up in seeking reassurance or acceptance from OUTSIDE when it comes to my life and choices, that I apply rules to my life about what I could or should do.

And when I do this,  I feel like I am in prison.

When I think I have to do things a certain way to please others, I know I am dangerously close to losing my balance.

Like writing a certain way for example…

SCREW IT.

I write from my heart and I suspect the minute it comes from my head is the minute I lose my mojo.

When I read these words by Rumi, I suddenly felt a release….

“Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”

It is when we let go of the way things were MEANT or WERE GOING to be, along with our fear of how OUR choices will affect others, our heart starts to speak louder than our head.

Before I moved to the Gold Coast, I dreamt about living in a suburb close to the beach, where I could ride my vintage bike with a basket, to the local Farmers Markets and fill it up with fresh produce.

Now that I am living on the Gold Coast, this is my reality every Saturday morning and there is nothing I love more, than when my lady loves join me for a coffee or sugar cane juice under the trees, whilst we listen to the band and unwind from the week.

I usually text my friend Sonya with “Are you marketing this morning” and she replies “Yes. Meet me there in 15mins. Do not wear make-up”. I always laugh and text back with “I’m still in bed”. She then replies, “Me too. Don’t brush teeth, see you under the trees”.

Inevitably, I drive, so I am there on time, whilst Sonya rides her bike, turns up late & half dead but still looking fabulous with earrings, a hat with holes in it, a lovely dress!

I on the other hand have chucked on an Eco Tan t-shirt (cos they’re REALLY comfy) and put a scarf on my head  which results in an epic fail, in trying to achieve the hippie, earth mother look, so many effortlessly pull off.

Sonya is one of these women.

A couple of weeks ago, we came back to my place afterwards and were in the kitchen preparing some yummy lunch, after having a carb overload at the markets.

Sonya and I got to talking about TV cooking shows, how everything is so fancy and expensive. That most days we are just trying to see to the basics and that surely all Mums really want to see is a real kitchen, with real women, preparing ordinary everyday food?

Needless to say, when you mix a glass of Sauv Blanc with 2 entrepreneurs who both suspect they have ADHD and a couple of kids who love filming on iPhones and suddenly, you’re on the internet with your pilot episode of Hypocrite Kitchen faster than I can say “SONYA, why didn’t you tell me my hair looked so bad?”

So here it is, 2 down to earth mamas who keep it real, try very hard to ‘walk their talk’ but often fall off the wagon just like anyone else!

BIG thanks to Sonya’s 9 yr old daughter Charlotte for being filming and directing

Enjoy our little fun filming session and as Sonya says…

“You’re the MASTERCHEF!”

Untitled from Stacey Sullaphen on Vimeo.

Stace x

PS To make the Broccoli, just do this:

• Wash & chop Broccoli
• Bring saucepan of salted water to rapid boil
• Drop Broccoli in until it turns vibrant green. DO NOT LET IT TURN TO MUSH!
• Remove, drain & place on plate.
• Drizzle olive oil, squeeze loads of lemon juice and sprinkle Celtic Sea Salt all over.
• EnJOY!

PPS Let us know if you actually want to see more of our antics in the kitchen, otherwise, we’ll keep it doing it to crack ourselves up. We’re cool with that  ;)

When I wrote my 1st ever blog post, back in July 2009, I wrote it with a very clear idea of WHO I was writing to and WHY.

I was sharing my journey as a Sunny Mummy and wanted to inspire other mothers to join me.

2 years on, I have certainly achieved that goal and am enJOYing motherhood with over 7000 women {and growing}, from all over the world.

During this time, I have always written from the heart, however I have yearned to have a space where I could write about things BEYOND motherhood.

Somewhere I could share my truth, express mySELF and unravel this woman I am getting to know on a deeper level everyday. A spirited mixture of sharing {albeit with the ever present risk of OVER-sharing}, inspiring and just plain old banging the truth ‘out of me’, and onto the keyboard. All in the hope that MY truth, may help someone else, recognise theirs.

So where to start. At the very beginning? Nah, that’s what the old me would have done. Followed the rules and stuck myself in an uptight, stick to the rules, box.

The new me,  is going to start at the end of the beginning…

The Renovation

Last year personally, was a very difficult year.

I have often said to loved ones, that the only way I can make sense of it, is to think of it as though I called a handyman to come and give me a quote on ‘possibly’ carrying out some repair work on my house, and when I returned home, he had, ‘for whatever reason’, knocked down my house.

At the time, I had no idea that the journey ahead of me, would lead me to the path I now find myself on, nor how difficult and easy it would be, all at once, in a mix of peaceful chaos!

When I read the following words from C.S Lewis, I knew I was discovering God and it had NOTHING to do with religion, rules or some dude that lives in the sky…

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

— C.S. Lewis

Stace x