Recovery in Ten Stages

Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 26 Feb 2018 22:53:00 +0000

The chemicals that are running our body and our brain are the same chemicals that are involved in emotion. And that says to us that . . . we had better pay more attention to emotions with respect to healthy Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness

Repressed and suppressed emotions and feelings require dissociated-energy to keep them submerged.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 26 Feb 2018 12:05:00 +0000

Repressed and suppressed emotions and feelings require dissociated-energy to keep them submerged. It takes energy to hold down our feelings. As these feelings are relinquished, the energy that had been holding down the negativity is now freed for constructive uses.

Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 03:57:00 +0000

Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness. The courage to be raw and still in the face of whatever arises. The willingness to begin and move through the pain and sadness. The willingness to take the time and have the patience with ourselves.

Although it might feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or frightening, the reward is more than worth the journey. Because loving kindness is the seed of happiness in our recovery.

The practice of loving kindness is a simple, gentle and time-proven method to help us discover the spring of love that exists within and, as a result, enjoy more happiness in life.

Ironically, we may not actually realise we’re lacking in self-love. So how could we even get serious about it? Here’s the problem. If we didn’t feel a pervasive feeling of love as a child, we just don’t know what we’re missing. We haven’t had an experience of it.

Sure, we are all searching for love in the form of that special someone, but often that is part of the problem rather than the solution. We don’t necessarily know what true abiding love really is or how to be an unconditional friend to our self. Instead, we often criticise and denigrate our self.

Although we may not be consciously aware that we are lacking in love, it typically shows up in the form low self-esteem and self-hatred. These two demons can manifest a range of behaviours and feelings:
Blaming
Criticism
Defensiveness
Looking to others for acceptance
Poor boundaries
Avoiding the present moment
Fear of being wrong
Feeling flawed
Body-image problems
Perfectionism
Compulsive behaviors
Drug addiction
Inner critic
Shutting down
Denying your own feelings
Continuing feelings of guilt, shame, fear, sadness, hurt, anger
Feeling unloved, unlovable, isolated, or alone.

Ten Stages self-reflection allows us to ask ourselves a question in our own mind

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 21:59:00 +0000

Recovery in Ten Stages self-reflection gently allows us to ask ourselves a question in our own mind, and then lets us freely associate to our answer. Our mind has the capacity to always give us just the answer we need at any given time – and to answer with the most beautiful truth – if only we ask and listen for an answer.

Inner Dialoguing with our released intuitive voice is almost a magical technique, because it is so simple and obvious: ask yourself a question and just listen for the answer!

Why it can be so hard for so many people, however, is that they live their lives so dishonestly that they are terrified to GET an answer that often requires action. It might really rock their boat. But that can be no excuse for ten stage truth-seekers. If our boat is faulty it needs to be rocked, and sometimes a good rocking shows right where the weaknesses are – which allows us in time to repair them.

We actually use Inner Dialoguing regularly in our study sessions with our residents – when we don’t know where or how to proceed. The part of us that answers our thorniest questions is a better answer than any we have ever been given by another before.

If we want to know what’s going on down there in the basement of our mind , you need look no further than our dreams.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 21:52:00 +0000

“Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.” If we want to know what’s going on down there in the basement of our mind , you need look no further than our dreams. The only problem with understanding our dreams is that they express our deepest truth entirely in code – through metaphor. Everything in a dream has meaning, and the hard work of decoding the symbols of our dreams – that is, getting to know the symbols of our own unconscious – will bring us right in touch with the depths of who we are, and what our unconscious conflicts really are. This is tough work, and often humbling and ugly, but if we can hang with it, the rewards will be well worth the effort!

Child Within Journal – that is, writing down the truth of our feelings, our point of view, our fears, our angers

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 21:46:00 +0000

Child Within Journal – that is, writing down the truth of our feelings, our point of view, our fears, our angers, our hopes, our expectations, our desires, our fantasies, our hatreds, our regrets, our thoughts, our memories, our prejudices, our secret loves, our painful experiences, our humiliations, our past traumas – requires deep intimacy with our child within. This self-intimacy is the essence of our recovery, and yet is also what makes recovery so difficult. Many of us find it difficult to journal – or journal in a deep and prolonged way – because of the strange feelings of being so emotionally intimate with our child within. But if we can tolerate the potential discomfort, if we can sit with the truth of who we really are and look at our truth expressed on the page in front of us, then we can nurture a wonderful relationship with our greatest ally: your own true self as the child within!

“I can’t think properly” . Our Child Within describes its thought disorder from the inside.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sat, 06 Jun 2015 10:36:00 +0000

“I can’t think properly” . Our Child Within describes its thought disorder from the inside. We can think clearly enough about a myriad other topics – but we immediately have trouble when we begins to focus on how memories of childhood derail our thinking.

Variable and strategic thought block, is apparent when we attempt to contact the child within. A thought process built on defence has to be breached by studying each thought process.This is engaged by the ten stage program a work around for the thought blocking engaged from childhood.

Unfortunately often our child within has been prescribed so-called ‘anti-psychotic’ drugs which degrade the whole sensorium, not just those parts already blocked, a sledgehammer by any other name. Indeed this is one explanation why they hinder recovery – childhood coping strategies become difficult to ‘engage’, if thinking about them is obliterated not only emotionally, but also chemically. A two pronged denial takes place often increased by the use of drugs and drink that seeks to reinforce the childhood fears and contaminate the process of recovery.

Previously it was believed that our symptoms were life-long, intractable, and fundamentally inexplicable. And many of our Child Withins more bizarre symptoms seem to confirm this – wild apparently random assertions, quite devoid of realism – the reason for which is described in the stages posts. The Stages during study have confirmed that there is an underlying pattern, a purpose, which in favourable circumstances within our studies, can be discerned – but which the child within actively wishes you not to discern because they are highly relevant to childhood survival. The underlying purpose is what is addressed in the ten stages.Related articles

Our child within has been taught from a young age to seek approval from our parents for the things we said or did.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Thu, 07 May 2015 07:13:00 +0000

Our child within has been taught from a young age to seek approval from our parents for the things we said or did. Since the need for approval, love and acceptance from our parents is strong, we become conditioned over time to seek approval from others as well. Whenever we don’t receive approval from someone who is not our parent, there is an automatic trigger and desire to win it back .

When we aren’t met with approval, we no longer feel safe and protected. “When we meet ridicule or rejection, it can undermine our view of ourselves,” “If we internalise this kind of negative feedback, we can begin to doubt our personal worth. This threatens our sense of security and disrupts our inner harmony.”

It is important we reconnect to our child within and gently release the need to constantly seek approval.In our studies as we reconnect we resurrect our intuitive voice that needs no approval, and hence guides our life in a healthy self affirming positive language of the heart.

Some of us were obsessively forced to make conquests with women, to seduce and then to abandon them,

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 06 May 2015 14:48:00 +0000

Some of us were obsessively forced to make conquests with women or men, to seduce and then to abandon them, until we are at last able to experience how we ourself had repeatedly been abandoned by our mother.

The damage done to us during our childhood cannot be undone

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 06 May 2015 14:44:00 +0000

The damage done to us during our childhood cannot be undone, since we cannot change anything in our past. we can repair ourselves and gain our lost integrity by choosing to look more honestly at the knowledge that is stored inside our child within and bringing that knowledge closer to our and others awareness.

The Ten Stages are studied recovery.They are a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Tue, 05 May 2015 08:55:00 +0000

Dissociation—being split-off from part or all of our emotions, inner truth, or history—is lauded in our troubled world as health. Families love chil- dren who do not cry or whine, but achieve or feign happiness in spite of their misery. People who are dissociated are often con dent, strong, and sure of themselves, because they lean on a totally false self, and lack the conscious feelings which invariably block this falsity. These people often look like the healthiest of all, and in the sickest social environments they rise to the top—and become leaders. They are often praised for their skill, power, and enlightenment, though in reality they are just mimicking a truly healed person. The truly healed person has earned his connection with his true self, and thus his enlightenment is not false, his con dence not built on sand, his leadership not built on corruption, and his motives conscious and pure—to his depths.

We who are dissociated are not easily emotionally ruffled

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 04 May 2015 08:55:00 +0000

We who are dissociated are not easily emotionally ruffled. But this is only because there lies a thick wall buffering our hidden, vulnerable self from the sharp and often honest edges of the world. The Recovered are much less protected, but have such a deep core of self-love that they can defend themselves gently.

Dissociation being split-off from our child within mimics recovery

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 04 May 2015 08:50:00 +0000

Dissociation being split-off from our child within mimics recovery – but it isn’t recovery. We who have become dissociated live in great peace. But this is only because we have blocked our negative feelings. The truly recovered person resolves negatives feelings, and thus the experience of peace is not false.

RECOVERY is the conscious awareness of truth

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 04 May 2015 08:43:00 +0000

RECOVERY is the conscious awareness of truth. Everyone who has any consciousness is enlightened to a degree, but where we are blocked from having resolved our own traumas of childhood – or adulthood – We will be blocked from our awareness of full reality. Full RECOVERY is a consequence of the full resolution of our traumas.

We are becoming modern SOOTHSAYERS In the Ten Stages we study self-reflection.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:15:00 +0000

We are becoming modern SOOTHSAYERS In the Ten Stages we study self-reflection. We learn that we can learn from our repetitive decisions syndrome. We just have to study ourselves. We have to study our motivations. We have to study our histories. We have to study our feelings. We have to become honest with ourselves. This is at times invariably painful too, but if we can tolerate it long enough to be able to sit with it and trace it to its origin, then we can grieve it and we can ultimately reconnect with our true selves with the support of our fellow students. This is how we start to heal our trauma. And once we do that we find that our true selves have the greatest allies imaginable: our child within our conscious minds, our natural intuition, and our passion. And with these allies how can our future decisions and intuition, and therefore our self-care, be anything but life affirming?

No matter the trauma. we made it. Try not to carry that backpack of negativity any longer than necessary.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 09:19:00 +0000

No matter the trauma. we made it. Try not to carry that backpack of negativity any longer than necessary. And note, you are not your parents — defy your abusive genetics. Experience a rebirthing .That’s why you are here to study the stages.

You must learn to trust your inner calling right now.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 03:06:00 +0000

There’s no time for a life vest or parachute.

You must learn to trust your inner calling right now. It’s all you’ll ever need to ultimately experience life’s ups, downs and in betweens. When you aren’t walking the steps of your heart’s road map, these bends and turns become anguish. When you are, these ebbs become an intimate process of clearing your slate and of entering a fertile void — they become a creative challenge so that you can go deeper into the discovery of your own truths."

If you are never challenged, how will you grow?

Every moment of self-doubt

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 03:02:00 +0000

Every moment of self-doubt — doled out from the hands of another — became potholes in my road to self-acceptance.

The Truth of The Stages resonates strongly with us, and as we read the posts we feel a tingling sensation in our gut and a chill going down my spine.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 09:45:00 +0000

The Truth of The Stages resonates strongly with us, and as we read the posts we feel a tingling sensation in our gut and a chill going down my spine.We are in between stages two and three at the moment and working towards breaking out of the inertia of the past. (and we absolutely agree and acknowledge that there are different parts at different stages, part of us is saying hurry up while another is digesting things carefully before proceeding this is the built in fluidity of the Stages).

We encourage students to become real adults by HEALING the wounds of their childhood.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 09:40:00 +0000

We encourage students to become real adults by HEALING the wounds of their childhood. Child-like behaviour is the exact opposite of what we advocate. There is nothing healing or healthy about adults behaving like obedient children. Child-like obedience is simply a tragic replication of an abusive childhood

HOW DID WE END UP WITH SUCH NEGATIVE BELIEFS ABOUT OURSELVES?

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sun, 12 Apr 2015 21:18:00 +0000

Our beliefs about ourselves are the result of our early experiences. If our early experiences were negative, they caused us to build a set of negative beliefs about ourselves that resulted in us having low self-worth.

Most of us have experienced at least some of the following.

We were mistreated, punished regularly in an extreme or unpredictable way, neglected or abused.

We were constantly criticised or had our weaknesses pointed out to us on a regular basis.
We felt we didn’t fit in to our family or school, perhaps because of a brighter sibling or because our talents weren’t valued.
We were teased or ridiculed by our peers for the way we looked or acted.
We bore the brunt of our family’s distress even though it wasn’t directly related to us, eg. death or illness of a family member.
Our family was seen to be different in some way or socially unacceptable.
We didn’t receive enough praise, encouragement or attention. Perhaps our parents were emotionally distant.
Repetition of similar experiences results in us creating a set of core beliefs about ourselves. As adults we might question whether these negative beliefs are valid, but as children, we were too emotionally immature to understand that it was our parents, caregivers and peers that suffered from low self-worth, and we were just on the receiving end of their issues.

Positive experiences that contradict a traumatised child's negative expectations are critical to helping the mind to readjust itself.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sun, 12 Apr 2015 21:10:00 +0000

Positive experiences that contradict a traumatised child's negative expectations are critical to helping the mind to readjust itself.The Stages Study, identifying with the child within opens a new scenario If our child within is removed from the traumatic environment and provided with a compassionate and nurturing environment, then healing will start to occur and the effects of childhood trauma will be minimised and start to reverse.

The Stages seeks a solution that moves us beyond his or her "painful inner dialogue." and out into the clear blue waters of recovery.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 22:47:00 +0000

The Stages seeks a solution that moves us beyond his or her "painful inner dialogue." and out into the clear blue waters of recovery.
the course of the Stages we attempt to awaken to our original enlightened nature which involves interrupting the ordinary flow of linear, language-based, thinking so that we can rediscover "the mind within the mind".

Focusing on external circumstances or teachings is not what triggers the moment of spiritual awakening, in other words. Rather, it is focusing on the absence of internal commentary. Because it is impossible to "think" without words, this practice of stopping the flow of running commentary on our lives involves cultivating a mindset of no-thought in an attempt to experience each moment as it is without silently talking to ourselves about it.

Attempting to gain the mind without the internal voice means starting to deal with the origins of the voice and the trauma it still holds and regurgitates at any pressure to reveal its inner secrets.In the ten stages a dialogue is instituted with the inner voice through the experience of others, and it works, how it works finally it has the potential for us to gain complete freedom.

Truth comes from deep within us.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sat, 04 Apr 2015 21:36:00 +0000

Truth comes from deep within us. Truth pre-dates our traumas and our consciousness, our decorum and our identities. Truth tears through denial and disrespects lies. Truth is the spark of our souls, and the root of our enlightenment. We have to develop space for it to breath life into ourselves our quiet time which is not difficult is where we respectfully grow in our knowledge.

We have a hunch early on that it is there – We can feel the quiet fear, anxiety and desperation.

noreply@blogger.com (Fraser Trevor) — Sat, 04 Apr 2015 16:47:00 +0000

We have a hunch early on that it is there – We can feel the quiet fear, anxiety and desperation. It was our addiction/dysfunctions that attempted to cover it up, numb it out, promise us that we could find an “easier softer way”. But when we get sober the wilderness was still there. Sobriety,stopping our acting out does not give us a free pass through the wilderness, it makes available the study tools to go through this terrain and it re-forms us if we let it. But it is not an easy journey. It exposes what we can only characterise as a despair that runs underneath our lives.That is exactly the feelings we have before we interact with The Stages Study Course and find out the real reasons behind the hole in the soul feelings.......and finally put them to bed.