STAGERS NOW

Child Critical

2015-08-15T21:03:00.003+01:00

Child Critical is the art of unlearning necessary for contact with the CHILD WITHIN

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions.

In each of us, there is a young, suffering child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times. Every time we’re in touch with the experience of suffering, we believe we can’t bear it, and we stuff our feelings and memories deep down in our unconscious mind. It may be that we haven’t dared to face this child for many decades.

But just because we may have ignored the child doesn't mean she or he isn't there. The wounded child is always there, trying to get our attention. The child says, “I'm here. I'm here. You can’t avoid me. You can’t run away from me.” We want to end our suffering by sending the child to a deep place inside, and staying as far away as possible. But running away doesn't end our suffering; it only prolongs it.

It is through having the courage and willingness to revisit the emotional dark night of the soul that was our childhood, that we can start to understand on a gut level why we have lived our lives as we have.

It is when we start understanding the cause and effect relationship between what happened to the child that we were, and the effect it had on the adult we became, that we can Truly start to forgive ourselves. It is only when we start understanding on an emotional level, on a gut level, that we were powerless to do anything any differently than we did that we can Truly start to Love ourselves.

The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves. As children we felt responsible for the things that happened to us. We blamed ourselves for the things that were done to us and for the deprivations we suffered. There is nothing more powerful in this transformational process than being able to go back to that child who still exists within us and say, It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little kid.

"As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are giving power to the disease. We are feeding the monster that is devouring us.
We need to take responsibility without taking the blame. We need to own and honour the feelings without being a victim of them.

We need to rescue and nurture and Love our children within - and STOP them from controlling our lives. STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control.

And they are not supposed to be abused and abandoned. We have been doing it backwards. We abandoned and abused our children within. Locked them in a dark place within us. And at the same time let the children drive the bus - let the children's wounds dictate our lives.

Let go of the need to be right.

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Let go of the need to be right.
Let go of the need to control.
Let go of the need to have a perfect plan before you start.
Let go of playing small.

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.

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We know that the mind is shaped by our activities. Regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation can help activate and strengthen areas of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional intelligence and regrow our traumatised minds.

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused. Abuse of the spirit of the child can take many forms, from the overt forms of child abuse that conventional society is able to accept – such as overt sexual abuse, physical violence and the extremes of neglect – to whole realms of abuse that fall below society’s radar and are considered normal and healthy forms of parenting.

Children have massive needs, and where parents fail to meet these needs – whether society notices or cares or even bats an eye – the child ends up abused. Children are born into the world with a total right to have all their needs met. This is the responsibility of parents, and although parents have a whole palette of ways and techniques to deny their responsibility and pathologise defenders of the child, this does not change the basic facts.

Children experience torture when their needs go unmet, and while we might sound like a fanatic writing this, it is only because we are taking the deep emotional side of the most disenfranchised minority in our society: the child. This is something that so few – and so few parents, those largely false advocates of society’s most innocent and squelched – do, or have any deep capacity to do.

Event Horizon living will leave us feeling like we're always chasing a carrot that we never quite get.

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Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future?

Do we ever think in, "If, then" type of thinking? Or "once this happens, then We'll be happy?"

If we're delaying our recovery and our joy for "one day" we are living on our event horizon, rather than living here and now.

Event Horizon living will leave us feeling like we're always chasing a carrot that we never quite get.

The good life is "out there" beyond the present moment, close enough for us to see it, but not close enough for it to be ours.

If we've are living for our event horizon, we'll never really step into happiness, live our purpose or get the most out of our life.

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.

2015-08-09T12:09:00.000+01:00

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.
Growth is the name of the game. It’s what we all crave. It’s what we all want.

Growth.

To be more. To do more. To Love more. To have more. To feel more. To give more. To express more. And perhaps to weigh less.

When we feel like we are making progress, we feel alive. When we feel stuck, it’s easy to feel dead inside.

Nothing makes me more frustrated or sad than when we feel hopeless that we can’t grow in a certain area. we love the feeling of expansion, of creation and the freedom that comes.

we believe in growth and we’ve set our whole life up to assist us in continuing to grow each and every day.

There’s a pattern we’ve noticed when it comes to growth that holds so many people back.

And that pattern is this: before you expand, you have to complete your evolution from your past.You have to make contact with your child within and begin the work of resolving your dissociations.

So you are where you are today – that is AWESOME! But, no matter where you want to go, there’s an even bigger risk that you have to take if you want to grow in your recovery.

If you’re just dreaming then you aren’t taking risks. People who make it happen get comfortable taking greater and greater risks of contacting our childhood guardian, the child within.

Each new goal achieved leads to a lesser risk to take next time.

So, what to do?

Look at where you want to go. What goals do you want to achieve?

And then look at the risks you are too scared to take. What are they? Where do they reside?

If you knew that you must go through these risks to get where you wanted to go, what next steps would you take?

You end up betrayed by your intuition and fall victim to the fear emanating from your gut.

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When you doubt what you know, when you don’t trust yourself, it fosters a sense of desperation. So you end up searching for relief in other people.

I don’t believe that reaching out to others for information or reassurance is wrong. There’s no doubt that sometimes you need someone else to help ground you.

But this can’t be your only option. Why? Because when the shit hits the fan you are alone. Maybe not physically, but in your mind, in the midst of your fear, you are alone.

And although you may have wonderful people in your life that can offer reassurance they can’t be there for you 100% of the time.

People have to work, they move, even die. You must become your own go-to person. You have to learn how to be there for yourself.

Before you start the process though, you have to understand a few things.

Like the fact that when anxiety and panic strike you’re hit with a lot more than symptoms.

You second guess yourself at every possible turn. You don’t believe the positive things you tell yourself, which causes all your carefully researched anxiety facts to go flying out the window when you need them most.

You end up betrayed by your intuition and fall victim to the fear emanating from your gut.

Not because you want this, it’s just what happens when you become immersed in anxiety and don’t trust your body, your mind, or your ability to repel the effects of anxiety.

In the early part of the stages

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In the early part of the stages, we may have to tease apart what we are hearing a child withins voice when, in fact, we may be receiving an echo of a distorted broadcast laced with the static of a charged emotional atmosphere of the present. Periods of quiet meditation are needed to be able to start to acknowledge the child withins authentic voice, the voice of the intuition or, the voice may be delivering only a script written by another. it may reflect the desire to placate, take care of, or pledge loyalty to an imagined fantasy parent.

It can be the trembling voice of a child within cowering in the shadow of an abusive parent, who, no longer having a spouse to intimidate, control, and beat, now uses the children to fulfil the same pathological aims.

All the while the child may secretly harbour the hope that those entrusted with the childs welfare will see through the parental charade. These strong messages become a self fulfilling prophecy in later life that dominate the individual and inappropriately bubble to the surface resulting in addiction and dysfunctional behaviour. The parental voice is almost always sniping at the authentic child within influencing relationships, behaviour and resulting in deep self doubt.

When we join the stages study course we often come to the realisation that different fragments of ourselves have lived at different stages in our past recovery efforts.

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When we join the stages study course we often come to the realisation that different fragments of ourselves have lived at different stages in our past recovery efforts. Some segments can be amazingly healed and insightful, while others can remain buried and out of touch. Our different fragments traverse the various stages of our recovery at their own speeds, seemingly independently – but ultimately connected to the core of our recovery by a thread of childhood truth.

The first stage on the stages’s healing journey is our contest stage. This is the stage of argument, attempted acceptance, and dissociated unhappiness, and seeking approval by parents, partners and friends of our crazy making behaviour. The parts of us that we feel are winning our contest stage stop our journey to recovery before it has even begun escaping into the grandiosity of spirituality, various religions and new personal romantic adventures. Here we deny our deepest traumas so intensely that we fool even ourselves into believing they never happened – and that we are already recovered. We attend groups that further traumatise us by our recollections and the recollections of others. It is for this reason that our dissociations/escapism within the groups mimics our recovery. Here we still idealise our parents, which allows us full unconscious liberty to replicate the worst of our past in our present. Here we do not look beneath our surface, but join with dissociated others in their recollections of dysfunction. We remain happily still distant from the misery lurking in our recovery seeking constantly changing new solutions that dont work and joining with inappropriate others to compare our stories.

Yet where parts of us lose the stage contest we move into the second stage: suffering. This is the stage of depression, failure, misery, and inertia. Here we wallow in seemingly purposeless pain. The silver lining around our cloud of parental idealisation has been stripped away, but the cloud remains intact. We still wish to be rescued by our parents and their replicated stand-ins, but we lack the requisite pain tolerance to be able to acknowledge the impossibility of this. Here we live in tortured ambivalence/recovery, and we spend out hours and days trying to get others to love us in the way our parents never could. Part of us wishes to devolve back into the seeming pleasure of grandiosity, but the healthier part recalls how cruelly that route already failed us.

Those parts of us with the capacity to face our terrors enter the third stage: grieving. This is the stage of purposeful struggling. Here we unearth the truth of our past, which allows the eruption of the puss filled boil of our buried traumas. Here we witness the horror lurking behind idealisation of the parents and we work to disassemble their lies. Our honest confidence leads us into the face of the hurricane, because our child within and its allies the students in the stages tell us that blue skies lie on the other side. Here we are humble, here we confront the truth of the worst of our parents, using whatever means will best help us integrate our truth, and through this our journey rages forward.

With each problem we conquer we take a further step into the fourth stage: enlightenment. This is the stage of emotional integration, balance, and inner peace. Here lie the deepest goals of recovery. All want to know truth, and the recovered person achieves it – in all parts of ourself that arrive in the final stage. Here we grow able to distinguish light from shadow and water from mirage. Here we nurture our recovery of our primitive sides instead of expressing them self-destructively. Here we devote the best of ourselves to healing. Here we no longer traumatise others in the very patterns in which we were traumatised, but instead replicate the best of ourselves through contact with our child within – and generate beauty in the world around us. Here, having healed our wounds, we share freely of our gifts, because now our gifts are accessible to us and others.

At The Stages we have a different philosophy for our life. We come to focus on the child within as a living entity.That why we call it the CHILD WITHIN not inner child which is a parental false selfs method of acknowledgement. We, so-called adults are not truly adults at all, and we have to examine this fact we have become a weird self constructed mess. We all get older. Anyone, with a little luck, can do that. But, speaking from a recovery viewpoint, this is not adulthood. True adulthood hinges on acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for loving and re-focusing on our own child within us. For most of us, this never happens because we have long forgotten the language of our childhood. Instead, our child within has been denied, neglected, disparaged, abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to "grow up," putting childish things aside. To become adults, we've been taught that our child within represents our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity and playfulness and this message must be stifled, quarantined or even killed. Our child within is angry, very very angry, Pissed off, vengefilled and often hurt, wounded cowering in the shadows locked in a basement. Our child within comprises and potentiates these qualities.

We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers. WE the "Grown-ups" are convinced we have successfully outgrown, jettisoned, and left this child within--and its emotional trauma--long behind. But this is far from our truth as we begin to find out as we work on The Ten Stages and start to uncover our real truths in our recovery. Do not expect your child within to be thankful that you have unlocked its prison after a lifetime of ignorance and abuse. Its like a mistreated dog it bites and it bites hard. That is why we have a studied course, not a self help group of dissociated children we are not a feel good society.We have to deal with the reality of long term personal abuse, yes we have learned the language of an abusive parental society that rules by its jails and institutions of dysfunction and at the stages we must replace that language of mis-information and abuse to be able to finally enter into a discourse with the child within and re-connect with our freed personality.

Many, of us feel repulsion initially toward our Child Within and blame him or her for our issues.

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Many, of us feel repulsion initially toward our Child Within and blame him or her for our issues.

“If only we weren’t so needy!” “If only we had better self-esteem!”

This is one of the major reasons why we DON’T turn inwards and go to our Child Within and miss our only healing power.We believe we will be horrified by what we find within us.

Let me tell you this – point blank.

Our Children Within are innocent!!!

When our Child Within develops these painful inner beliefs, he or she was powerless, innocent, loving and open. He or she was a Child of Source subjected to a world of traumatised individuals, and conditional behaviour – by people and systems who know no better.

He or she is still powerless to recover on his or her own. These children within need us. And even though this child is so traumatised, disowned and terrified, he or she is still the wholesomeness granting you the messages that are trying to take us towards your recovery and stop hurting ourself, but we are have stopped listening.

These are the intuitive messages that you are rationalising away or just plain ignoring.

Trying to make friends with your false self is like trying to have a genuine relationship with a narcissist. You will only be dancing with your devil.

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Our constructed exterior self is NOT our Child Within.

Our self is the part of ourselves that has formed as a defence mechanism to avoid going inwards to heal our Child within, our constructed self is an imposter – it is NOT Who We Are, and its purpose is to keep us separated from healing our Child Within and becoming an integrated and whole Self of our recovery. Trying to make friends with your false self is like trying to have a genuine relationship with a narcissist. You will only be dancing with your devil.

We have to Go to the trauma that the false self is constantly escaping from and heal it. Then there can be no need for our old false self to revisit the traumatic event anymore.

When we drop into the pain and fear we are feeling in our solar plexus, we receive the intuitive message of being five years old and feeling trapped and ganged up on. The traumatic remembrance was “I am a target for more punishment.”

When we fully claim, felt and released that trauma, opened up space and brought in the Source / Life connection with our child within of being valued, supported and loved – the fear is gone, and a greater solidness of contact with our child within instantly replaces it.

That immediately eliminated the narcissistic self story “You’re an angry person,” because there was no trauma left for the self to create havoc with.

No fear, no pain and no anger – just an ability to be authentic, not be triggered, and speak up for our needs and rights if necessary.

We have learned to bypassed our constructed self illusion and we evolved ourself.

when we have call from our child withins trauma that we don’t rescue, we have negative emotions bubbling up.

This is the message we receive from our child within “Come to me, heal me!!”

Now if we ignore this message, this triggers our mind into survival programs that are fuelled by the young helplessness and powerlessness we were at the time that trauma was developed.

Negativity and pain attracts more of itself. It starts a life force of “escapism/dissociation”. This is what our self is – it is a False Self. It is the nemesis of our child within which is “Light of our recovery.”

Now what is really, really interesting is – in every seed of dissociation is recovery. In fact every seed of escapism can be brought into our recovery, because the true purpose of something “traumatic and painful” is so that we can transmute it into “our recovery.”

When we get the release of a contracted fearful painful inner program, we expand, we up-level. In fact that process is exactly the process to recover … it’s the formula of evolving ourselves.

And that is exactly what happens when we recover enough of ourselves, and make a stand for own worthiness enough to bring our painful disowned unconscious parts up into the light for their transformational healing.

However, if we don’t heed the call of our Child within, and ignore him or her instead and allow the pain and fear to remain, this is the gap where our dissociative behaviour is given full permission to rush in.

Now that we are disowned and unhealed, our energy system is prey to the constructed self.

The constructed self is our sensitive pain body.

every human being has a child within and a constructed self, and where we are orientated on the scale depends on the state of our child within subconscious belief systems.

When the Child Within becomes released, spacious, extended, empowered, joyful, safe and radiant – we are expanding out into the connection of Oneness of Source living as we were always intended to live – graciously, lovingly and abundantly – and sourcing our re-connected self authentically.

We feel unconditionally adored, accepted and protected by Life, and we treat and maintain ourself accordingly.

When the Child Within is contracted, fearful, self-protective, detached, despairing and damaged, we are disconnected from the field of our Source – living the illusions of dissociation and separation and completely and utterly susceptible to our fearful constructed self.

We feel unloved, unacceptable and unsafe in our Life reality, and we treat and maintain ourself accordingly permanently trying to avoid the pain.

Within every single suppressed inner trauma are the energies for up-levelling, releasing, and the opening up to more and more space and incredible expansion into our recovery … or the festering ignored trauma causes an inward contraction around that wound, and a spiral down into more pain.

The Child Within keeps calling out and the cries get louder, and if unattended to, inevitably there is a greater need for ways to try to manage the pain without actually solving the cause of it.

“Dissociation's” such as self-medicating, seeking outer distractions and relationships, or addictions to try to burn off the pain are the only avenues available.

The constructed self is reinforced by this, because the pain and the manifestation of pain attract more pain, and ultimately create demise.

The constructed false self is not life, it is a materialistic anti-life.

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What do we do when we keep bumping our heads against the seeming invincibility of dissociation?

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The Stages is difficult to grasp at first. Everyone faces a period of disbelief which is acknowledged faced discussed in the facing of the full reality of recovery at the stages.It leads people to feel very angry, resentful, rage filled. This is so unfair! I already know this. I have dealt with this, you dont know how difficult my life is. Do you know how long I have been in recovery for....

What do we do when we keep bumping our heads against the seeming invincibility of dissociation? This is the time when we unrealistically bargain with life, we attempt one last attempt at manipulation – I’ll give you this, and you’ll give me what I want. There’s nothing wrong about bargaining – when it is based on offering the other party something they might really be interested in. It is not very realistic to try to bargain with dissociation forces, illness, addiction or just plain reality.

Guilt is a way of making sense of what is happening, of regaining some form of control over the uncontrollable: It must be my fault.

Once the reality of recovery sets in, the student feel overwhelmed, they become depressed. All resistance is futile.

Anger, unrealistic bargaining, depression… this is our struggle against “real” problems in the outside world, but also against our own child within.

Eventually we reach a stage where we become fully aware of impending destruction, and neither angry nor depressed about it. We have to accept our solution at the stages. We have to become introduced to our child within

Grief in the Stages is not one-dimensional: It manifests as a jumble of intense emotions.

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Grief in the Stages is not one-dimensional: It manifests as a jumble of intense emotions. Dealing with grief is not a linear progression, but a whole process with chaotic twists and turns. How these "stages" relate to each other has very little to do with logical thinking. Actually, the emotional logic of grief, so to speak, is in the jumble of emotions.

The emotional logic of grief at the stages is better understood if you think of it as a series of frantic moves to re-orient to the world after a big loss has left you emotionally off-balance (disoriented).The acknowledgement of the child within can lead to periods of intense grief.We grieve our lost childhood, we grieve our parents or significant others.We grieve our lost child within.We acknowledge our rage, pain and disillusion and have to grieve them.We experience with support our full range of grief emotions and we once more survive.

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When we become masters of the dissociated no longer needing alcohol or drugs to achieve our dissociated state, We will begin to be the Best Dissociate in the world and go out and begin our mission to proselytise our false version of “the truth.” We will feel the comfort and confidence to pressure and manipulate others who use alcohol to dissociate from their unresolved childhood traumas to follow this largely unreliable program and to split-off from our ancient wounds just as we have done. We will feel justified in insulting and degrading and pathologising them if they are too much “in denial” to follow our lead, and the truth will become closed to us and them. It will make us feel very grandiose to cajole other traumatised drinkers and ex-drug takers into dissociating by requesting that they follow our adopted dysfunctional methods, but we will not acknowledge this as grandiosity, and instead will just call it “having self-esteem.” And if these newcomers fail to follow our methods and drink themselves to death, well, that’s just too bad – we guess they didn’t have enough “radical honesty.” The Ten Stages study course allows us to develop healthy self autonomy introducing us to our child within and actively supporting a new recovery paradigm to support us in a dtysfunctioning society.

We have become a masters of dissociation.

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At the beginning we recognise that we have become masters of dissociation. We are still clinging to a philosophy and a self concept that are full of holes, We have been attempting to practice the art of becoming whole with the wrong tools.

We have had to learn to pretend to be going deep inside the root of our being but in reality will just practice splitting off and making it look fancy in the fellowships.

We talk to God of our understanding who cannot be there for us in prayer but have no idea who it really is, and we will listen to God in meditation and not be able to realise that I’m ignoring the deepest and most basic essences of our souls the buried child within us.

We are lost and will now have the beautiful capacity to delude ourself into thinking that I’m almost recovered! But we will still have the ever increasing deep blackhole inside us instead of recovery. We will believe that everything has changed but nothing will have changed except our increasing disillusionment.

This has become our crazy making scenario that we have inherited and have the expectation that it will work in adult life it wont.

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With self-reflection on the totality of all on where our acting out behaviour might has come from that is, acknowledgement that our disturbed patterns are simply a replication of the traumas done to us when we were vulnerable and innocent and powerless in our family of origin as a child.

We will now reflect on all the bad things that we have had done to ourselves, and not only that, we have due to our programming cemented our list of our badness into place by admitting it to this externalised power (which we have been convinced is separate from the essence of me!) and to people who buy into this deluded and dissociative philosophy.

Talk about thrusting ourself down a blind alley, and further cutting ourself off the from deeper root of ourself our child within.This has become our crazy making scenario that we have inherited and have the expectation that it will work in adult life it wont.We will keep seeking for a solution to the impossible until we will succumb to addiction, ill-health and death.

Now that we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma

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Aiming for the truth

Now that we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma, we will our best of looking within to find out what else might be just be inside us.

We will take an emotional inventory of the traumas foisted on us when we were children, which will just tell us that we are a lot more miserable and disturbed than we delude ourself into believing this will reveal to us the discovery that our parents really did mess us up worse than we thought, and that the upwelling of pain coming from that potential discovery might want to drive me back into my old patterns of dissociation.

So instead of sticking with a “moral” inventory, and just study our morals, our own “badness” and hurtful behaviour – which is convenient considering we have already been brought up to believe firmly that we have no true child within and that the parental voice is all powerful (a Lie) . We regain the freedom for our child within and from these crazy making behaviours.This will really root us into the deepest recovery which is available to all.

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We will totally accept ourself believing that we can really take care of ourself and heal our own childhood wounds, and we will consciously decide that this externalisation of our split-off inner self, the addicted self – this external power that we have created – can only lead us to alienation, death and destruction. This belief frees us of our unconscious, grandiose, and immature idea that we are the king of our universe, but by simply placing it on something external which allows us all the while to keep alive a façade of the false humility of a dissociated recovery of constant escapism.That rejects that when we speak of God or Higher Power we are really speaking of the our own unconscious, grandiose feelings about ourself, which follows the exact template of our idealised image of our abusive parents.

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WE come to believe that since there is a child within me, that is, our true self within me, that we can renounce that which is outside of us and beyond us – and that this external being creation, who is essentially little more than an idealised, fantasy parent, who cannot save me must be rejected. Basically, We can take care of ourself because we have come to the realisation our wounded child can with the freeing gifts of truth,trust and consent can be healed/recovered completely .That we our damaged child can be restored to health, that we reject parental control and recognise its insanity in our lives and the mistaken idea that it can still save us! We just have to put my faith back in to our child within – and hopefully we can act as a better parent than we had the first time around (the one who participated in crushing our true personality and making us into deranged people of the shadows with no true personality).

THE STAGES MEETING FORMAT RED

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Stage 1: We admit that the traumas buried in our unconscious rule our lives, makes us powerless to embody the truth, and drives us to act out in ways destructive to ourselves, to others, and to the environment.

Stage 2: We come to believe that the child within at our core is more powerful than the lies imposed upon us, and that this truth can lead us to recovery.

Stage 3: We make a decision to align with the child within, despite the pressure to submit to the distortions of family, society, and the historical voices we carry within.

Stage 4: We make a searching and fearless assessment of our traumatic history: personal, familial and ancestral.

Stage 5: We admit to ourselves and to a stages guide the full details of our traumas.Identifying the triggers to our dissociations

Stage 6: We become entirely ready to grieve this past and to let go of our false self.

Stage 7: We align with our child within and do the deep and transforming work of grieving.

Stage 8: We study the ways we have hurt ourselves, others through replication of our traumas, and we become willing to make amends to them all.

Stage 9: We change our inappropriate dissociated behaviour.

Stage 10: We continue to monitor our attitudes and behaviour, and when we now feel the pain of our recovery we promptly admit it, trace its traumatic origin, and take steps to not repeat it.

Stage 11: We seek through self-reflection an ever deepening connection to our child within, desiring only to be guided to our intuitive voice.

Stage 12: Having awakened to our child within, we dedicate our lives to its full manifestation and to nurturing the healing paths of others.

MEETINGS: The Ten Stage Meditation

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The Ten Stage Meditation

Ten Stages child within meditation practice.

“our child within has arrived, our child within is home.”

This is so beautiful to say to yourself as you breathe in and out whenever you do walking meditation, for each step encourages your wounded child to be well and to come home to you. When you walk to your car or to your office, by a river or in a park, you can recite to yourself:

In-breath: “My child within has arrived.”

Out-breath: “My child within is home.”

Through the practice of being present, you will use your conscious breath and concentration to heal, simply by welcoming your wounded child within home. You are capable of arriving in every moment, whether it’s in sitting meditation, walking meditation, mindful eating, taking a shower or doing laundry. It’s necessary to cultivate the internal energy of mindfulness before stopping and looking deeply into what caused the trauma. The practice of being in the moment nurtures that strength, and it provides the clarity and lucidity needed to put to rest the ghosts of the past and the ghosts of future anxiety.

In-breath: “My child within has arrived.”

Out-breath: “My child within is home.”

Meditation of understanding for my child within

Meditation to focus on the injured child within and is based on compassion. This meditation nurtures the child within wonderfully and at the same time nurtures the adult you. Prepare for meditation by sitting comfortably with the spine erect. Bring your concentration to the in-breath and the out-breath. After ten or twenty breaths, whenever you feel calm and stable, bring each of the components—love, compassion, joy, equanimity—into yourself, the adult you. The next sequence provides a concentration to water the seeds of Love, Compassion, Joy and Tranquillity within your child within.

In-breath: “I bring Loving Kindness”

Out-breath: “to my child within.”

You can say a loving -kindness name for your child within if you wish. Say silently, “Dear Mary” or “Darling Joseph.” Feel the energy of love fill you from top to toe and register with the energy for several breaths. Then continue in the same way with:

In-breath: “I bring compassion”

Out-breath: “to my child within.”

In-breath: “I bring joy”

Out-breath: “to my child within.”

In-breath: “I bring tranquillity”

Out-breath: “to my child within”

Conclude the meditation by once more bringing love, compassion, joy and tranquillity to the adult you. The concentration on these four qualities is an incredibly powerful instrument for healing the child within.
If we gather together all the virtuous actions we have realised in this world, they are not equal to practising compassion meditations… If we collect together all the light from the stars, it will not be as bright as the light of the moon. In the same way, practising compassion meditation is greater than all other virtuous actions combined.

MEETING: First Introduction

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If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.... ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and your child within is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. .....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and stages is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Our traumas and unfinished programming from childhood dictates how we live our lives today.

2015-06-11T08:09:00.000+01:00

Our traumas and unfinished programming from childhood dictates how we live our lives today. As long as we are not in recovery, we are powerless to make clear choices in discerning rather someone we are attracted to is a available for a healthy relationship - we are in fact, doomed to keep repeating our rescue patterns.

Emotionally we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional vibrational level, resonate with us as being familiar. It feels to us as if we have a strong connection to those people. In other words, we have an child within that causes us to be attracted to people who resonate vibrationally in a way that is familiar on an emotionally intimate level with our childhood needs. We are attracted to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our most powerful and earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love - our parents.

No matter how much we are making an effort on a conscious level to not pick anyone like our parents, energetically we feel a strong attraction to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our first experience of family. It was very important for us to become aware of the reality that if we meet someone who felt like our soul mate, we had better watch out. Those are exactly the people who will fit our patterns - recreate our traumas.

Becoming conscious of our child within is an important part of owning our power. Our power to make choices, to accept consequences, to take responsibility for our choices and consequences - and to not buy into the belief that I was being victimised by the other person, or our own feelings of defectiveness.

We focus on others to keep from contacting our child within.

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We focus on others to keep from contacting our child within. We need to let go of focusing on the other person and start focusing inside to understand what is happening to our child within. Our adult patterns, the people we have been in relationship with, are symptoms - effects of our childhood trauma. We cannot solve a problem without looking at the cause. Focusing on symptoms addictions/dysfunctional behaviour will not heal the cause.

The reason that we get involved with people who are unavailable, is because we are unavailable to ourself and our child within.

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We live in a society where the emotional experience of "love" is conditional on behaviour. Where fear, guilt, and shame have been used to try to control our child's withins behaviour because parents believe that their children's behaviour reflects their self-worth.

In other words, if Johnny is a well-behaved, "good boy," then his parents are good people. If Johnny acts out, and misbehaves, then there is something wrong with his parents. ("He doesn't come from a good family.")

What the Stages shows is that it is actually the good child - the family hero role -who is the most emotionally dishonest and out of touch with him/herself, while the acting-out child - the scapegoat - the child within is the most emotionally honest child in our dysfunctional families

In each of us, there is a young, suffering child.

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STAGERS NOW

Child Critical

Let go of the need to be right.

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.

Event Horizon living will leave us feeling like we're always chasing a carrot that we never quite get.

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.

You end up betrayed by your intuition and fall victim to the fear emanating from your gut.

In the early part of the stages

When we join the stages study course we often come to the realisation that different fragments of ourselves have lived at different stages in our past recovery efforts.

Many, of us feel repulsion initially toward our Child Within and blame him or her for our issues.

Trying to make friends with your false self is like trying to have a genuine relationship with a narcissist. You will only be dancing with your devil.

What do we do when we keep bumping our heads against the seeming invincibility of dissociation?

Grief in the Stages is not one-dimensional: It manifests as a jumble of intense emotions.

We have become a masters of dissociation.

This has become our crazy making scenario that we have inherited and have the expectation that it will work in adult life it wont.

Now that we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma

THE STAGES MEETING FORMAT RED

MEETINGS: The Ten Stage Meditation

MEETING: First Introduction

Our traumas and unfinished programming from childhood dictates how we live our lives today.

We focus on others to keep from contacting our child within.

In each of us, there is a young, suffering child.

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