Starting Eleven

World Cup 2014 Opening Match Was A Flop

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 15:00:00 +0000

Fred, er, Drop Dead Fred

Leading up to any major sporting event, there is a certain amount of let's say, nonsense, you must endure until the actual games begin. Take the World Cup, for instance. For the last six to 12 months, all we've heard are tales of anguish over the fact that the stadiums won't be complete in time for the first match, the final price tag for the tournament will keep the Brazilian economy in ruin for decades, and the real-world concerns of poverty, distress and anger manifesting themselves in not-so-peaceful protests.

And then yesterday happened.

Horrible images of protesters being pepper sprayed at point-blank range were supposed to be offset by the first touches in anger of the competition. Brazil was playing. O Jogo Bonito. Step 1 toward coronation. Wonderful, correct? All is supposed to be right again? Well, maybe if it had happened that way.

Oh Brazil won, bashing back Croatia 3-1 in the Group A opener, but the Selecao's victory served merely to introduce another distracting story line to the World Cup: Flopping--or diving if you prefer. How about simulacao, or fingimento?

Brazil's Fred is the bad guy here. What he did is nothing new, sensing a Croatian hand on his shoulder, he did what comes naturally to any big-time footballer in an intensely pressure-packed situation: He fall down, go boom. Drop Dead Fred won the game for Brazil yesterday, not with his feet or his head, but with his weak-in-the-knees drama, earning a penalty for the home team that was promptly converted by Neymar. Game. Set. Match. Let the bullshit ensue.

This is a fundamental flaw with the beautiful game that transforms it into a steaming pile of nonsense. No player is above it--hello CR7--and no stage is too big for it. It's accepted like match-fixing is in the Far East and overtime shootouts are in MLS (Do they still do those? I forget?)

And now it will be droned on about until the World Cup is done, Brazil lifts the trophy, and Ronaldo cries "injustica" because some ref forgets to follow the script and actually doesn't fall for a flop.

Is there an answer? Sadly, no. There is no solution because referees are the first line of defense here and they are human beings. And like it or not, they become consumed by their environment. Albeit whether that environment is a Sao Paulo stadium decorated in yellow-wearing humans, or a secret conversation in a back alley that leads to a clandestine deposit made to a secret account in the Caymans (shhhhh, be vewwy vewwy qwwiet), refs make bad calls. And those bad calls are magnified when the man in charge can't speak a common language to the two teams (somebody 'splain that one please).

So the TL:DR here: Flopping is here to stay, and for the moment, it's the story of the tournament. Maybe we'll be rescued by a clean game today between Spain and the Netherlands. Yeah right, me so funny.

Looking For A Soccer Evangelist? Keep Looking

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 23:46:00 +0000

Less than 24 hours before the start of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, the discussion here in my corner of the United States is about why Americans should care about the planet's biggest sporting event. A Boston sports radio station spent four hours this morning asking callers to educate the two hosts, both of whom are former American footballers, one a college player, the other a former NFL professional.

Callers gave it the old college try talking about how the tournament and the players are the best of the best, and how the love of football and this tournament is culturally engrained in those who have a passion for it. And for the most part, the two hosts were sincere with callers, promising to give it an honest effort to watch a fair amount of games and speak intelligently of it--in between lame cracks about Brandi Chastain's sports bra and grasping at the straw that is Landon Donovan.

Here's my thing: I don't care if they watch the World Cup, or soccer--ever.

Soccer does not need America to succeed--clearly. It's a tired discussion and a boring refrain waiting for soccer take a foothold in the United States, whatever that means. It's not part of the mission of football fans to convert the great unwashed that is the vast majority of American sports fans when it comes to soccer. It's not our job to stamp our feet and hold our breath until we turn blue until Americans know the difference between the Bundesliga and LaLiga. Just don't care if you ever do.

I love hockey too, and to me, the Stanley Cup playoffs are a close second to tournament football in intensity and drama and passion. Sit inside my house during a Bruins playoff game and you'll see where I'm coming from. That said, I'm not going to go on a recruiting mission in Middle America to try to school corn-shuckers on the finer points of the Bruins-Canadiens rivalry. They don't care to learn, and I don't care to learn 'em. Hockey will survive just fine without them. It's not indignence. It's an understanding that people have tastes, varied tastes, and just because ESPN plans to show every second of the World Cup doesn't mean that everyone in America has to watch it and love it and climb aboard the bandwagon. The bandwagon is plenty full.

There are plenty of places online and in bars and among family and friends who love football where I can get my fix talking about the game. I don't need my local sports radio station management to force feed it to its hosts and they in turn try to consume 40-plus years of football passion that is engrained in me in a four-hour show.

The World Cup starts tomorrow, and like most of the planet, I will be rooted to the television for the next 30 days watching most of every match that I can. If you're aboard, awesome. If not? Well, it makes no never mind to me.

Portugal's Euro 2012 Epitaph: 'Injustica'

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 12:58:00 +0000

My sorrows have officially been drowned, and it's now time to write the epitaph on Portugal's Euro 2012 run to the semifinals, as well as Cristiano Ronaldo's place in football history.

Where to begin?

Pride of Portugal -- from A Bola

CR7. Someone on Twitter posted a great GIF of Ronaldo incredulous after the final Spain penalty kick clanged off the post to Rui Patricio's right and went in. "Injustica" Unjust is the loose translation. Over and over he said it. As we all know, Ronaldo watched from the center circle as Portugal lost 4-2 in PKs sending Spain to the Euro final on Sunday and Portugal home once again to cry itself to sleep wearing its bridesmaid's dress after a major tournament.

Apparently, the plan Paulo Bento hatched in his brain was for the penalties to play themselves out to a 4-4 draw and Ronaldo would step up, bury the fifth one as he did in the 2006 World Cup, and Portugal would be sitting pretty with another extra day of rest awaiting Germany or Italy for the final. No thought given to Ronaldo going first, or second. No thought given as to why the world's second best player, the best player in this tournament, a guy on his way to becoming his country's greatest player, wouldn't take a penalty ahead of, say, two fullbacks and a pitiful playmaking midfielder who certainly left a pee stain on the penalty spot in Donetsk last night.

No, instead, we're gonna save you to the end. Because, you know. we'll get there.

Oops.

So much good work undone by what was surely a joint decision to hold Ronaldo to fifth in line. Who's call is it? Ultimately and formally, it's Bento's. He's the boss. But surely he conferred with Ronaldo and the conversation probably went something like this: "Wanna go first?" "Nah, fifth." "Fifth?" "Fifth. I'll win it." "But." "Fifth."

Ronaldo's massive ego, I'm guessing, plays a role here. Going first is cool, but it's not as cool as fifth. For instance, you don't have as much time to decide on whether to spike the doo, or go with the comb-over if you go first. You don't have that lasting image of the camera following you after you make the game-winner; Christ, he probably already rehearsed his celebration--just in case, you know. I mean, who's gonna take the fifth one? Nelson Rodrigues? Child please.

Joao Moutinho, the sudden darling of this tournament for Portugal, went first. And he had a chance to give Portugal the early--and probably decisive edge--in penalties. Spain went first, and Xabi gagged on it and ever-heroic Rui Patricio made a clutch, fantastic, tremendous, ballsy save. He was everything Ronaldo wasn't yesterday--hell throughout the tournament. He was quiet, did his job and didn't fail. Enter Moutinho--not Ronaldo--who was absolutely stone cold terrified of the situation. Unsure over the ball, Moutinho basically wet himself putting the ball on the spot. He tip-toed behind the ball, made a feeble run and hit a weak effort that Iker Casillas surely giggled at. He swatted it away and all the good Patricio had done was wiped away.

Pepe and Nani made their PKs, as did Iniesta and Pique for Spain -- should we get into the Nani-Bruno Alves clusterfuck? Were they playing head games with Spain? Or did they truly not know the order? And was Alves really ready mentally to go, and Nani pulling him back screwed the pooch? Who knows? What we saw was Alves hit a bomb, a titanic shot to Casillas' left, high and out of reach of the Spain keeper. if not for that pesky crossbar, we'd be talking about Portgual in the final perhaps--you know, with Ronaldo burying the fifth one.

Instead, Cesc Fabregas stepped up. Patricio stared him down and didn't move an millimeter. The keeper guessed correctly and dove to his right. Fabregas hit the ball in that direction and the ball clanged off the post and ricocheted into the goal, crossing the line by inches as it settled into the opposite netting, surely smirking at Ronaldo as it rolled home.

Injustica. Sure Cristiano. But why unjust? Because you lost, or because you were robbed of a golden moment? I'm sure it's a little bit of both for you. And that's sad for a nation that surely wept, because Portugal was heroic this month--you too Cristiano. Portugal could have conjured up a win in the final, just as it could have beaten the defending World Cup and Euro champions yesterday. But a cavalcade of decisions--don't even get me started on how Portugal played 30 minutes of extra time on its heels allowing Spain to attack (Patricio is this team's MVP)--undid this team at the worst possible time.

Injustica.

Me on the Talking to the Doll podcast

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 12:24:00 +0000

Some self-promotional love: I was graciously invited to do the Talking to the Doll podcast last night along with @ordoetchao, @bigsoccerheadny and of course the host and Benfiquista (we don't hold that against him) @TalkingToDaDoll.

Give the episode a listen here at http://talkingtothedoll.podbean.com/2012/06/21/episode-22-62112/

We had a good time talking all things Portuguese national team, including spending some time on the wins over Denmark and Holland, as well as previewing today's quarterfinal match against the Czech Republic (these guys know their shizz about Czech football). We also pick a Portugal MVP for the group stage.

Check it out--and give the pod some love and subscribe to it on iTunes (I do)!!!

Euro 2012 Quarterfinal Predictions: Cutting Eight Down to Four

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:12:00 +0000

Seven out of eight is a pretty good run. Winning seven of eight games in any game, any league. Seven of eight rolls at the craps table. Seven of eight PKs scored. Seven hits in eight at-bats (that's baseball, folks). All in all, a pretty good run.

England's Best Hope

What am I rambling about? Of course, it's horn-blowing 101: I got seven of my eight Euro 2012 quarterfinalist predictions correct. Woo-hoo! That and a buck (that's a dollar, folks) will get you a newspaper to burn in the outdoor fireplace later today.

My only miss was the Czech Republic; I had hosts Poland making it through--winning as a matter of fact--in Group A. Oh well, can't hit 'em all. I got Greece knocking off the Russians and Sweden not having enough legs to topple either France or England.

So now we have new matchups in the quarterfinals starting on Thursday. The Czechs take on Portugal, and my personal biases aside, how does Portugal not advance here? Portugal is playing well and escaped the Group of Death on a high note with two straight wins. Not to mention that Cristiano Ronaldo has found redemption-and his scoring touch, the defense has been solid and the team is intact.

On Friday, Germany goes head-on with Greece in a really intriguing matchup. I'm tempted to say 4-nil Germany and be done with Greece, but 2004 still tortures my brain and I will never, ever count out the Greeks.

The weekend promises to be epic--well if you're into big names. Spain-France opens the festivities Saturday and the pundits are actually trying to paint Spain with the brush of a declining team. Ramos can't defend. Torres can't score. Too much is on Casillas. Blah, blah, blah. If only the rest of the tournament had Spain's talent and experience. France, meanwhile, was God-awful against Sweden and played half-heartedly with nothing on the line. I'm a firm believer in a short tournament that resting players and taking a day off is fatal. It's too hard to ramp back up, and if Spain doesn't win 3-0, it will be an upset.

England-Italy, meanwhile, is going to be interesting. Hopefully the sun is out and I can hit the beach Sunday afternoon here in New England and waltz back into the house in time for penalty kicks. Because these two are going to sleepwalk and bore us to death for 120 minutes and then England will be up against it in PKs. And England and PKs are toxic.

My predictions:

Czech Republic vs. Portugal (0-2)
Germany vs. Greece (2-1)
Spain vs. France (4-1)
England vs. Italy (0-0, 1-4 PKs)

Euro 2012 semifinals predictions

Spain vs. Portugal
Germany vs. Italy.

Cristiano Ronaldo's True Redemption: A Euro 2012 Championship

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 13:18:00 +0000

Never one to shy away from being critical of the brightest and best players, I am going to resist temptation to slam one Cristiano Ronaldo. It's so in vogue after all, but I'm no trend follower. And, what's a couple of missed breakaways between friends?

Ronaldo certainly got his redemption Sunday against the dumpy Dutch to lead Portugal out of the Euro 2012 Group of Death and into the quarterfinals. Two clutch goals erased an early 1-0 lead and cemented CR7 as the most polarizing figure of Euro 2012 so far. Ronaldo has for so long been an enigma in a Portugal jersey. Either brilliant or baffling, he's never boring.

Ronaldo mohawk or faux-hawk?

Ronaldo's woes were really magnified when he missed two breakaways against Denmark, a game Portugal won 2-1. He also hit a couple of posts against the Netherlands on Sunday and had another blatant chance for what could have been a fifth. In the opener against Germany, Ronaldo had opportunities, but didn't get the ball enough and apparently spent too much time changing his hairstyle to a mohawk at halftime to concentrate on the mighty Germans. Maybe he figured he'd see them again in the final?

Ronaldo is definitely trending upward however. He's been better in each match; if you're hitting posts, it means you're in position to score--never a bad thing. Ronaldo has also played both ends of the field and been Portugal's overall best player. And he should be. Aside from he-who-shall-not-be-named, CR7 is the best player on the field every time he's on it. His superfluous step-overs aside, he has tremendous speed and intimidates defenders into playing off of him, even as he's bearing down on the box. He's an obnoxious diver, and a selfish whiner to the referees as we saw in the first half of the Holland game (you can't start screaming for a call when your teammates are attacking behind you!).

But there are tradeoffs we all make in every walk of life. Those of you who live on Facebook give up gobs of privacy to the Cult of Zuckerberg in order to share all those innocuous details about your lunch. In football, you tolerate the quirks of the prissy Ronaldos of the game because when they're brilliant, they're awe-inspiring. You don't score 60 goals in a season without being special. And naturally, winning La Liga, getting to the Champions League semis, the Euro 2012 quarterfinals and scoring 60 goals isn't enough in this what-have-you-done-for-me lately society.

And I guess that's OK. Sports fans can be selfish. I root for Portugal. I want them to win. I'm already trying to figure out how they can beat Spain in the semis once they shoo aside the Czechs on Thursday. But I'm also a realist, and I understand that they won't do squat without Cristiano Ronaldo again scoring one, two or three times. Portugal has weaknesses, yet players such as CR7 cover up a lot of blemishes.

Redemption against the Netherlands is one thing. Ronaldo has beaten back some personal demons perhaps, and regained some lost confidence. Now it's time to take that to the next level and excel in every game left on Portugal's slate and perhaps fulfill your destiny as the country's best player ever?

Euro 2012 Underwhelming So Far? Meh-Be

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 23:21:00 +0000

Now that everyone has dipped their toes into the Euro 2012 waters, what can we say about the tournament so far? Meh? Too harsh? Let's look at the evidence.

Ukraine. Obviously, the hosts saved the best for last with a thriller of a 2-1 bashing of Sweden starring ancient (?) Andriy Shevchenko. Sheva ticked the twine twice and is the tournament's leading scorer with the upset of the Ibrahimovic-led Swedes. Cripes, it was an all-AC Milan affair today on the scoreboard and a real peach of a game. This leaves a good taste in our mouths as we head back toward Group A on Tuesday and the crucial second matches in each group. Until then, the tourney's been tasting a little bland.
Poland. The other cordial host of Euro 2012 opened with a flourish against Greece on Friday with a quick goal and a lot of pressure against an older Greek side. Toss in a red card against its keeper and a miracle penalty-kick save by the cold backup and Greece's tying goal and we had a chipper start to the best tournament in the world.
Denmark. Yes, they partied like it was 1992 after beating Holland 1-0 in what becomes the most compelling storyline of the tournament. What of the Dutch? Netherlands and Germany clash on Wednesday in what is sure to be the match of the tournament with the talented and oh-so-fortunate Germans waiting for the Dutch. Fortunate? Sure I'm biased, but Portugal should have beaten Germany. Should haves are lame in sports, but the German goal came on a cross deflected by a Portugal defender to the head of Mario Gomez (how the fuck is he German?) Portugal deserved better and should get it against Denmark, making the Portugal-Holland game Match of the Tournament II.
Spain, Italy, France, England. Snore, bore, zzzzz, no more. Please. No more. From ESPN's incessant whining that England would have done better with Wayne Rooney, to France's late winner in 2008 against England (what does that have to do with today?), to Spain going for three major titles in a row (a first) to Italy making me reach for my melatonin, can we just eliminate them all from polluting the final eight?
Russia and Croatia. The biggest outbursts of the tournament came from the clubs least expected to burst outwardly. Russia dismantled the Czechs like it was their freaking job. And Croatia sent Trapattonni searching for his passport outta Dublin. Let's see if it lasts with Croatia still having Spain and Italy on its dance card and the Russians having to hold on against Poland and Greece.

Meh? Maybe not so much. I have high hopes for Matchday 2.

Euro 2012: Predictions And The Winner Is

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:08:00 +0000

Can Spain repeat? Will Germany break through Spain's dominance? Who is the darkhorse team? Which favorites will fall? Who will win Euro 2012?

Here's my take on the title taker! First, however, a look back at my group predictions in order of finish:

Group A: Poland, Greece, Russia, Czech Republic
Group B: Germany, Portugal, Netherlands, Denmark
Group C: Spain, Italy, Ireland, Croatia
Group D: France, England, Sweden, Ukraine

Quarterfinals

Poland vs. Portugal (0-2)
Germany vs. Greece (4-0)
Spain vs. England (3-1)
France vs. Italy (0-1)

Repeat

Semifinals

Spain vs. Portugal (2-0)
Germany vs. Italy (3-0)

Final

Germany vs. Spain (1-2)

Cristiano Ronaldo's Destiny Depends on His Dominance of Euro 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:55:00 +0000

Despite it being a physical impossibility, Lionel Messi casts a big shadow over the super-sized ego and talents of Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo. Barcelona's Messi usually outscores Real Madrid's Ronaldo. Barca is the team of the century largely because of the diminutive Messi's amazing balance, instinct and ability. Ronaldo, meanwhile, has two Champions League titles, a handful of domestic championships, has scored close to 300 goals in his career. And still, Messi is first in line--and not because he's shorter or ahead of Ronaldo alphabetically.

Irina Shayk Ronaldo?

As sensational as CR7 is, Messi is just that much better. Little man, big shadow.

Yet with Euro 2012 on our doorstep in 24 hours, Ronaldo won't have that built-in Messi excuse. Leo will be home watching, or lounging on a beach with a babe somehwere, while Ronaldo has the weight of expectation on his shoulders. No excuses CR7, this is your tournament to own, manhandle and perhaps win.

This is by some accounts not a very strong or deep Portugal side. They're built ass-backwards, relatively weak in the back, and top heavy with flashy talent up front. Not to mention they're in Group B, the Group of Death along with Germany, the Netherlands and Denmark. This is a tall mountain to climb for the Selecao Das Quinas, yet they've got a pretty agile dude up front on the left-hand side who can take this team to the summit.

Much like Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo hasn't exactly set the world on fire wearing his national team jersey. In 90 capped appearances, he has 32 goals, that's one every three matches. Fast-forward that to the Euro, and that's not a good ratio--one goal in the group stage won't get it done.

Ronaldo clearly will draw extra attention from any opponent, but that hasn't stopped him from scoring at better than a goal a game in his domestic career. But he hasn't come close to matching that pace for Portugal. He scored 46 times domestically for Real Madrid this season leading that team to the La Liga title, his first in Spain and the first time he nudged Messi off any pedestal. Ronaldo has 127 goals in all competitions over the last two season, a seriously Xbox 360-like number of tallies.

He has domestic championships, Champions League winners' medals, domestic cup wins. The international cup vacancy on his mantle is pretty glaring. Getting to the 2004 Euro final was little of his doing. He had a pretty fair World Cup in 2006, hitting a big penalty to beat England in the quarterfinals. Yet Portugal crashed out in the semis, and in the second round of the 2008 Euro and 2010 World Cup.

Superstars step up on the brightest stage. Michael Jordan always took the last shot--and made most of them. Larry Bird cut your heart out in the fourth quarter. The Montreal Canadiens always won in overtime in the playoffs. Joe Montana and Tom Brady always come through when it counts. Cristiano Ronaldo is on that plane, higher considering the worldwide audience. His Portugal legacy has to be cemented on Saturday against Germany. He lacks that two-goal masterpiece in a must-have game on his international resume. He needs to shake off close, physical markers in big games. He cannot rely on diving to win favor with officials. He needs to bury a trademark knuckleball free kick with the world watching.

He won't be against Malaga or Macedonia in the Euro. Three of Europe's best await, and if Cristiano Ronaldo wants to be Michael Jordan, he has to hoist this Portugal team on his back and carry them. He has to dominate against Germany. He has to demand the ball, dance through the German back line and score not once, but twice. The Germans must have reason to fear him, not just respect him.

This will not be an easy road for Portugal, but this is the time when stars shine. Cristiano Ronaldo is Portugal's true star. Do the math.

U.S. Men's Soccer Team Constant Source of Disappoinment

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 16:10:00 +0000

So it may seem awkward time for a rant on the U.S. Men's National Team #USMNT two days before the start of Euro 2012, but I actually sat through 45 minutes of the Canada game, so I feel I'm entitled after all. Still amazes me how well I slept Sunday night, regardless...

Two reasons to smile

I'm an American, and aside from Portugal, I truly do root hard for the U.S. to succeed. I want them to win friendlies, and I agonize when they inevitably bomb out of the World Cup every four years. But man, oh man, it's really difficult to consume the #USMNT as a product. I blame ESPN, Twitter, myself and many others for this wave of expectation around the team that just isn't realistic.

It's disturbing how much #USMNT Kool-Aid is drunk. It's disturbing how easily we're duped into thinking this is a quality, world-class product. It's our national team, and yes, root hard for it. But there isn't a lot here that's going to make a dent internationally. Just a fact. That's all.

Let's ratchet back to the friendly last week in D.C. against a Brazil B-Team. Yes, the #USMNT hit the post in the second half and you could say "won" the last 20 minutes of the game. Tim Howard was his usual beast of a keeper and Clint Dempsey brings an essence of class to the field. But good God almighty, the overwhelming essence on the field was the stench emanating from the pirate-shirt clad U.S. players--in particular, those directly charged with defending Howard's goal.

The abomination that was the U.S. defense, yes you Gooch you stiff, was a beacon into the capabilities of this team. These are mid-level players tossed to the lions every time Honduras, Costa Rica and Trinidad & Tobago don't have an opening on their respective friendly calendars. Exposed? How about raped? The U.S. was down 3-1 when it decided to surge forward and force the Brazil keeper into a couple of just stellar saves.

But don't kid yourselves, Brazil had it all day and twice on Sunday. Any time it wanted, it could go box-to-box and score. Look no further than Marcelo's goal; the U.S. poked the bear and Brazil rolled up the nearest newspaper and swatted the U.S. on the nose, going--against--nearly uncontested from one end of the pitch to the other to make the final 4-1.

And oh yeah, as for the final 4-1. I've heard from more than one pundit that the 4-1 score was harsh and on some level did not paint a true picture of the game--yeah you Grant Wahl. Got news for you--you're right! 4-1 wasn't a fair representation of the game; more like 8-1 if you ask me. Again, let me clarify: Brazil had it any time, any way it wanted. Whenever it wanted.

Now for the Canada game, well let me just say that this was the ultimate money grab. Celebrating the centennial of Canada-US is all well and good, but no one on either side gave two good shits about this game and the final 0-0 was a testament to the mediocrity and sleep-inducing nature of this mess. Refunds please...

The bigger picture here is that --in true American fashion--we overvalue our own. Always. The U.S. are what they are, the Milwaukee Bucks of international soccer. Usually a decent team. Make the playoffs once every few years, and with some luck advance beyond the first round. Make an equally quick exit once confronted by the big dog on the block.

What hurts is that we want and expect the U.S. to succeed. As a fan base, and I'm talking to and for the casual fan base for a second, we're too easily influenced by ESPN and FOX Soccer pundits whose job it is to promote the telecast and market their respective coverage. They won't tell you that Jurgen Klinsmann has for the most part chicken shit to work with and the chicken soup he's cooking up won't ever be gourmet fare. They will pump up Landon Donovan and Tim Howard and Clint Dempsey because those are the names most familiar to American homes. But they won't tell you that those guys are NOT the problem. They won't tell you that the #USMNT's version of the golden generation is old and past its prime. They won't tell you that Bob Bradley failed to utilize very many of his younger players during his reign as coach and that there just isn't very much depth or reason for hope going forward. And finally, they won't tell you that the #USMNT is equally cursed and blessed by geography.

Having to qualify for the World Cup out of CONCACAF means the U.S. should perpetually be in the tournament. Outside of Mexico (a real 2014 dark horse to win the whole thing), there isn't much quality in this region and the U.S. is obligated to cruise into the World Cup every four years. And they have consistently since 1990. What's also been consistent is that they've failed too every tournament since 1990 to grow enough to be the superpower you're spoon fed to believe they are.The U.S. is exposed in friendlies against Brazil and even Canada (yes, we went to Italy and won, see the blind squirrel and the nut) that there just isn't enough depth or consistency to be a contender.

And that's OK. Really it is. Just don't expect much, and you'll feel a lot better about the whole thing.

Euro 2012 Group D Predictions: Who Put This Mess Together?

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 00:11:00 +0000

Snore

Is it possible to put four more unlikeable, non-descript teams in one group than what we have here in Group D? England. Ugh. France. Double ugh. Ukraine and Sweden. Wake me when that classic is over.

It's almost impossible to get burned out from football, Euro especially. But I'll be glad for Group D playdates; hopefully it will be nice out and I can emerge from my bunker and go outside, get some sun and drink a few beverages. After all, isn't that why God created ESPN and Interwebs? To check on scores of ballgames you just cannot sit through?

France
England
Sweden
Ukraine

France and England through to the quarterfinals.

Euro 2012 Group C Predictions: Boozers Blast on Through

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 00:03:00 +0000

One food post, deserves one booze post. Group C is for the boozers. Spain, Italy, Ireland and Croatia. Wine v. Wine. Guinness v. Rakia. Is there a better tiebreaker?

Guinness Girls Rule

First, Spain may be the reigning Euro and World Cup champions, but they can't compete with Italy's grapes. Italy has the grapes to get out of this group--and its wine is better. So's the food for that matter (good thing Mexico isn't in Europe or I'd have them winning the whole thing). And Ireland, bless you for your Guinness you bunch of Sullys and O'Briens! Rakia, meanwhile, sounds good, but I have some unpleasant childhood experiences with plums that I won't go into here--so that eliminates you Croatia. Sorry. Out.

The thing that stands out for me in this group is that Giovanni Trapattoni is Ireland's manager and I think this is some sneaky shit. I think the guy's a mole; he's a former Benfica coach after all. And he's Opus Dei; I read all those Dan Brown books, you can't sneak one past me. Guinness aside, I think Ireland's toast because of IlTrap.

So that leaves the champs and the chumps. Spain doesn't lose, at least not of late. And Italy, well they can't win of late. But they have enough to get out of this group, though it won't be easy. Guinness is pretty stout and so are the Irish.

Spain
Italy
Ireland
Croatia

Spain and Italy through to the quarterfinals.

Euro 2012 Group B Predictions: Group of Death--and Destiny

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 23:49:00 +0000

Death depresses me. I hate funerals; good Lord wakes are the most morbid of human ceremonies. How undignified is it to go out wearing pancake makeup lying flat on your back under pink lighting that looks like a heat lamp at a bad diner. Death sucks.

My people

So why do we insist on Groups of Death for our big tournaments. Can't we call them Groups of Wicked Good Teams? Or how about Groups of Teams No One Wants to Play? How about Groups that Prove Draws are Rigged? I digress...

Euro 2012 is not without its Group of Death. We have Germany, Portugal, Netherlands and Denmark holding hands in a morbid dance that will send at least one, maybe two pre-tournament favorites home far too early. I'm no fan of upstarts, upsets or minnows upsetting the apple cart (see Greece 2004). I don't think it's cute when The Little Engine that Could reaches the top of the hill. I root for the big bad giant to curbstomp it right back where it came from.

So full disclosure time: I'm rooting for Portugal here and it totally clouds my judgment. I really think my Selecao can get out of this group. I have that gut feeling they're going to beat Germany on Saturday and hipcheck the Dutch to the curb and have no issues with the Danes. That's my heart.

My head and my wallet say three-and-out for Portugal; Cristiano Ronaldo pulls another big tournament no-show and Denmark has Portgual's number in the swing game for this tournament. Besides, the Germans never lose. Hate them; have I mentioned that? So that said, betting with my head, predicting with my heart.

Germany
Portugal
Netherlands
Denmark

Germany and Portugal through to the quarterfinals.

Euro 2012 Group A Predictions: Food for Thought

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 23:35:00 +0000

Greece is the word

Greek food is better than Polish and Russian food--no idea what Czechs are known for in culinary circles. Is there a better place than Greektown in Chicago? What's this got to do with football. Not a damned thing, but this group is so potentially boring that I'd rather rate them on food than football.

I hate beets, so that just puts the Russians in the dumper. Again, Czech cuisine? Aside from C-style alliteration, and some really old footballers, the Czechs are done before it starts in my book.

Greece--eh, I just can't forgive 2004. But the Greeks have guts and a puncher's chance in this group. They breezed through a breezy qualifying group and are 3 wins, 3 draws and 1 loss in friendlies leading up to the tournament--again against lackluster opposition. Snore. But the food! Greek lasagna Pastitsio is superb and lamb rules in all forms (save the mint, just gross). Greece is through.

So is Poland. Score one for home cooking for real here. Poland are hosts and that's a good thing. Had a Polish girlfriend way back when (no, she wasn't dumb) and pierogis, kielbasa and plackis rule man.

Poland
Greece
Russia
Czech Republic

Poland and Greece through to the quarterfinals.

Euro 2012: It's here, and we're back!

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 23:17:00 +0000

I'm dragging my blog kicking and screaming out of mothballs. I do so only for special occasions and none is specialer (I know that's not a word) than Euro. The best tournament in the world starts in three sleeps and I'm psyched. This is my corner of the Net and it's here where I will post my bon mots about the continental championships. You've been warned.

MLS Should Say Good Riddance to Thierry Henry

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:35:00 +0000

Thanks for coming Thierry

So Thierry Henry is on his way back to Arsenal. Great (yawn). Maybe Henry and David Beckham can share a row in first class on their way back to jolly ol' England. Personally, makes me no never mind whether Henry returns to the Gunners. It's just the symptom of bigger issues on both sides of the pond.

MLS continues to spiral down this NASL-like path of being a destination for older, fading European and South American stars who want the fan worship and exposure here and maybe cash in on some valuable marketing dollars. The ulterior motive from a football perspective is a little more subtle--MLS essentially becomes an offseason training camp for these older players who either are pining for one last fling with their national team (ahem, Becks) or last-gasp return to glory--and paycheck--with the club with whom they made their name. Go on MLS, keep bringing in the likes of Henry, Beckham, Roy Keane et al. These soon-to-be 40-somethings are just using you and taking up a roster spot for someone young you could develop.

Henry had a good year with Red Bull scoring 14 goals in 26 games. The 34-year-old is Arsenal's all-time leading scorer and the club recently unveiled a statue of the French star at the Emirates Stadium. His move to Arsenal is a two-month loan that will end Feb. 16 after Arsenal's next Champions League match. Arsene Wenger is hoping to catch lightning in a bottle bringing in Henry as Arsenal is in a desperate fight for fourth in the Premier League, which guarantees the Gunners a spot in next season's Champions League.

Will he help? Probably since Henry is in shape and will certainly have momentum, adrenaline and fan support on his side. Will he stay? Depends, but if he has any kind of success, then change that "depends" to a yes. As Beckham did with AC Milan, Henry is likely to tell Red Bull "see ya in May" if he pots a few goals and Arsenal gets into contention for the title or at a minimum, Champions League qualification. The latter is likely and if Henry is making any kind of impact, he's gonna "Beckham" Red Bull the same way Becks did to the Galaxy.

I've said it before; MLS needs to discipline itself and not whore itself out to these guys just to sell jerseys and tickets. There has to be some long-range vision here; ask Jurgen Klinsmann whom he's rather see on the Red Bull roster: Some young potential USMNT player, or Henry, Beckham or Zidane? Bringing in the Thierry Henrys of the world doesn't grow the game in America, it just pads the players' wallets, MLS' pockets and does nothing to advance the game in this country.

Tim Howard Goal v. Bolton: Real Reason to Root for Howard

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:52:00 +0000

Tim Howard is a class dude. Not only is he a world-class keeper, but seems to be a quality guy.

Yesterday the Everton and US national team keeper scored a goal for the ages. He bombed a 90-yard clearance from his own goal area in a Premier League match against Bolton. A fierce wind turned what should have been a three-quarter pitch reset ball into an historic goal. The ball bounced shy of the Bolton box and took a vicious hop over a flummoxed Bolton keeper Adam Bogdan into the goal. Everton led 1-0 and Howard, win or lose (yes Everton lost 2-1) was the story. He was mobbed by teammates, glorified in headlines, and got the spotlight.

Yet Howard wasn't enjoying the celebration. Maybe inside he chuckled. Maybe inside his heart took a dozen or so extra beats. But he wasn't showing it at Goodison Park yesterday. Nope. He stayed stoic; kinda deflected hugs and headslaps and went on with his evening.

Why?

Adam Bogdan, his counterpart. The guy flailing on his back desperate to stretch to reach Howard's "shot". The guy who would be the goat of the day. Howard felt compassion for him because he knew his wonder goal was a fluke. He knew his was an accident the ball went in. He knew it was an honest mistake that Bogdan misjudged the ball and was out of position.

Howard told SkySports after the match:

"I was delighted that we were in the lead and would hopefully go on to get three points, but it's not a nice feeling for a keeper. It's really awful actually. For the back four and the goalkeepers at both ends, there was an awful wind swirling. You could see everybody was mistiming balls. Defenders were missing clearances that normally they would put up the field. I think the wind is the hardest condition to play in. Snow, rain, sun doesn't matter, but the wind really does play tricks on you. I let him know that I was feeling for him. It's not a nice place to be. I've been there before, a long, long time ago, and that was why I didn't celebrate."

That's all you need to know about Tim Howard. Class.

Americanized Exceptions to Football I Can Live With

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:47:00 +0000

Angelina-Jen: A Derby for the Ages

I'm staunchly opposed to the Americanization of football. I don't want overtime, shootouts, substitutions on the fly, bigger goals or shorter fields. I don't want instant replay, playoffs or field turf.

There's a lot of don'ts and won'ts in there. There are also exceptions to every rule. Two things American sports do well are create events and honor their best.

I want a Winter Classic-style football event. And I want a world football hall of fame.

The Hall of Fame is easy. Unlike the shit show that is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, there are clear guidelines a football hall could follow. Such as: Be out of the game five years before you're eligible; you're eligible for only 10 years (if you're not a Hall of Famer in year 1, chances are, you're not one 10 years later); Weighted voting on by journalists and players; and (gulp) FIFA runs it--boy am I asking for a corruption disaster there, aren't I? But if there's one thing they can get right, it's this.

Today's generations, unless they're brow-beaten by overbearing dads, uncles and grandpas, don't know who DiStefano or Eusebio was. Pele? Yeah, he played for the Cosmos! Eusebio? He was in the hospital last week. Second best player to Pele during his time? Really? Hmm?

A Hall of Fame, a museum where careers, players and the game is honored is long overdue for the world's most popular game. It's a destination stop for families on vacation. It's a place players can shoot for once they're done with the game. "I may not win a Champions League or World Cup, but I can still be immortal in the Hall of Fame."

To be done right, it has to be hard to get in. Only the elite get in. I don't want to see Joe Cole's name on the ballot, nor do I want to see John Harkes' even though he's somehow in the US Hall--another story for another day.

The Hall of Fame is easy. The Winter Classic is difficult. The NHL puts two teams on an outdoor rink built inside a football or baseball stadium. It's played on New Year's Day--or thereabouts--and it's a great event. The players love it, the fans love it, the NHL loves it.

For football--I don't want a gimmick. The game still has to count. It has to be played on a regulation field and count in the table. I don't want it indoors, on fake grass, or on ice skates for that matter. But there has to be something big, something that counts, something that would be a legitimate event.

My best effort is a derby day in the same stadium. London is easy: Arsenal-Tottenham; Chelsea-Fulham; West Ham-Millwall. All three games at Wembley; all of them count. In Lisbon, it's Belenenses-Setubal, Sporting-Benfica. In Madrid, it's Real Madrid-Atletico, Getafe-Rayo Vallecano--and so forth.

Imagine the hype of putting all these games in the same park on the same day! Rotate the stadia year after year, charge a lot of money, put it all on TV, whatever it takes. Make it a worldwide derby day where every country's greatest derbies are contested simultaneously.

It's a win all around if you ask me. But this isn't a dictatorship. If you have better ideas, send them along and I'll post them all.

Don't Get Apocalyptic About Football in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:07:00 +0000

If this is the apocalypse, gimme some

It's been almost five months since I've posted something fresh to my blog. That's downright apocalyptic, which is apropos given it's after all 2012. Kinda sad for footie fans if the Mayans are right. After all, we're stuck with 2010 as the last World Cup--aside from Spain establishing itself as the best national team in a generation, the Mundial didn't give us much more. The U.S. bombed out, and even that wasn't enough to cost Bullet Bob Bradley his job until 2011! A loss to Mexico in the Gold Cup final apparently means a lot more to the ever-provincial US Soccer Federation.

Barcelona, meanwhile, continues to dominate club football. Real Madrid has its most potent club in a long time and cannot make a dent in Pep Guardiola's armor. Jose Mourinho's Year-2 legacy of winning big as a sophomore is in serious jeopardy if the last Classico was any indication. Cristiano "ARod" Ronaldo just can't get over the Messi hump. It's a messy situation.

The Champions League? Still sucks. Which is too bad. I still want the 64-team NCAA Tournament-style knockout tournament to come back. I think that still satisfies the Platinis of the world who want the minnows to cash in. It also satisfies the giants who if they're dedicated enough, can stomp through the early rounds and make for a juicy Sweet 16 and beyond. Maybe someone should buy Platini and company tickets to this year's NCAA Final Four. Maybe it will spur him on. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

So what do we have to look forward to this year? A Porto-Sporting Sweet 16 in the Europa League? How cool would that be? Only thing cooler would be a Sporting-Braga final. But that's just silly me being silly selfish.

Euro is this summer. Hopefully the solar flares won't be kicking up too bad in Poland and Ukraine and ESPN won't lose its' feed a la the 2008 Euro. The GOD group, i.e., Portugal-Holland-Germany-Denmark (Seriously, what sick fuck thought this shit up?) is unquestionably cementing Euro's status as the best football tournament in the world. What a bloodbath those group games are going to be. Portugal and Holland hate each other (see 2006 World Cup). Germany and Holland have history. Portugal cannot beat Germany--and apparently cannot beat Denmark either. And Denmark, yeah, it beat Germany to win the '92 Euro for whatever that's worth.

All I know is that if Portugal somehow escapes the group stage, somewhere along the way it will play England -- and beat England -- in penalty kicks. Make book on it. Otherwise, it's difficult to bet against a Spain-Germany final, which is a tasty treat for sure given the young Germany powerhouse that country is building, and Spain, of course, being Spain.

And then it's downtime until Dec. 21, which could be the be-all, end-all of ... The Club World Cup?

U.S. National Team Players Just Don't Get Enough Minutes

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 20:41:00 +0000

There's an eye-opening article on SI.com about Americans abroad having a chance to impress new United States men's national team coach Jurgen Klinsmann--a clean slate if you will. The author makes the point that Klinsmann's philosophy is going to be so radically different from Bob Bradley's that anyone has a chance to make an impact with the #USMNT.

She scores more in Italy
than #USMNT players

Fair enough, and maybe so. Writer Avi Creditor makes his case well noting that Chris Rolfe, for example, has two goals in two games for his team in Denmark, and how Joe Corona is making his case in Mexico with Tijuana. Cool. Good enterprise angle. So is the reporting on how Americans have fared over the first two weeks of domestic play worldwide. Creditor went country by country, player by player providing details on how many minutes each played and whether they scored, etc.

If you ask me, that's the meat of the issue. It's not the opportunity these players have in front of them, but just how few minutes Americans with a chance to make the national squad actually play! In England, where the biggest pool of Americans swim overseas--where the likes of Tim Howard, Clint Dempsey, Eric Lichaj, Stuart Holden and others play--four of the 15 in England started their games. One, John Paul Pittman of Oxford United in League 2, came on as a sub. The rest were either not on the 18-man roster or were, but didn't see playing time. Says volumes if you ask me.

Let's keep going. Michael Bradley and Jermaine Jones - in the 18 for their respective squads and 0 minutes of live action. Same for Steve Cherundulo and Ricardo Clark. Carlos Bocanegra, the U.S. captain, not in the 18 for St. Etienne in France. Same story for Oguchi Onyewu with Sporting.

See where I'm going here? Our "best players" can't get on the field. It's great they're in Europe, being exposed to soccer cultures and supposedly better training and attitude about football. But what's the point if they're playing in reserve games and never getting a sniff of Sunday football?

What world football power operates this way with its players? Xavi and Rooney and Schweinsteiger, they'd be just as good for their respective nations if they sat every Sunday, correct?

To me, this raises tons of questions about the U.S.: Does our player selection just suck? Is the MLS single-entity system strangling national team development? Are we over-rating our best talent; worse yet, are our coaches and federation officials doing the same? They are supposed to be the experts here.

Kudos to Klinsmann for saying he needs more Latino influence in the #USMNT and for promising to play different faces and adopt a new philosophy. Maybe the answer is to open up MLS and make it more appealing and enticing for our best to play here in front of their national team coach. And yes, the U.S. needs more Latinos and more Euros, but only those who are playing ball every Sunday. Which is more than we can say for the Adus, Onyewus and Bornsteins of the world.

FIFA U-20 World Cup: Gloriously Rooting for Laundry

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:05:00 +0000

Whoever said kids should be seen and not heard has not been watching the U-20 World Cup. Stand up and shout boys, this has been one hell of a tournament. Watching the semifinals this weekend was euphoric and anxiety-inducing, just like good football should be.

Where to begin? With Portugal's one-for-the-ages penalties win over Argentina? Or how about with France gagging away a 1-0 lead with 7 seconds left in added time, and almost doing it again in extra time? And what about Brazil and Spain in extra time?

I wish I knew more about the players; I felt like I was rooting for laundry at times. I was. I was also rooting for good and dramatic football, which was hard not to do.The skill level is pretty high, in fact about the only distinguishing factor here from "senior" football is the size of the players. Most of them are tall and skinny and haven't really hit the weight room much yet as their older counterparts -- just a guess on my part.

Tactically however, the games are fun and fascinating to watch. They're playing for so much and for a lot of them, this may be their only shot at international glory. Imagine, all four quarterfinal matches went to extra time and two of them to penalty kicks. The games were tight, but you couldn't help get caught up in the drama. I can't advocate more than for you to watch tomorrow's semifinals. Brazil-Mexico and France-Portugal should be epic. A Brazil-Portugal World Cup final is epic at any level; Mexico, should it make the final, continues to make its case as a huge threat for the 2014 and 2018 World Cup (remember, Mexico won the U17 World Cup a few weeks back). France? Well, yeah, OK. Anyway.

Klinsmann, Not U.S., Needs to Win Tonight Against Mexico

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:33:00 +0000

Jurgen Klinsmann--Not Bob Bradley

Does Jurgen Klinsmann need to win tonight? You bet your ass he does. Now that doesn't mean the U.S. has to defeat Mexico tonight in Philadelphia, but it had better be a good show. He'd better play some young guys, show some hints of a new philosophy and the defense better not be a sieve. These were all the things that did in Bob Bradley, and to see more of the same would definitely set the Klinsmann Era off on the wrong foot. After all, we don't want smart-ass bloggers to start calling it the Klinsmann Error, do we?

Now seriously, it's humungously unfair for Klinsmann's first game at the helm of the United States men's national soccer team to come against the region's best team and the U.S.' biggest rival in Mexico.Nothing good can come of it unless the U.S. beats Mexico 2-nil. And even then, Klinsmann will be hailed as the savior and all future shortcomings will be judged against this--at least for the time being.

Maybe it's a good time to set expectations; consider this kinda like a tryout. Klinsmann is working with a slew of potential assistant coaches, starting with Tab Ramos, Thomas Dooley and Martin Vasquez. OK. The final 20 players Klinsmann brought to Philly includes some surprises. Clint Dempsey isn't on the roster, while DeMarcus Beasley is. So is Freddy Adu, Robbie Rogers, Kyle Beckerman, Zach Lloyd and Edgar Castillo. Who? Yeah. It's the young guys you've been clamoring for; the players Bradley never developed and never nurtured for 2014 and beyond. Bradley rode the veterans like Donovan, Dempsey, et al. And there's some justification there, mostly self-preservation--and in the end that didn't work.

Klinsmann has been around enough world-class football to understand the importance of playing younger players in meaningless friendlies and urge them to succeed and play at their highest level. This is the best way to evaluate young players; and at least most of these guys play regularly in MLS, for whatever that's worth. At least those are meaningful minutes, unlike Bradley who had no qualms about putting guys like Adu, Oguchi Onyewu and others who barely were on club rosters somewhere in the world, much less playing at all. And for some unfathomable reason were playing and starting on a national team roster! Says plenty about the state of U.S. football.

This might be the first mountain Klinsmann decides to climb. He needs players who are game fit mentally and physically. He needs players who understand the subtleties of game flow and rhythm. He needs players period, and not just players for today, but players for the next two to four years.

If you're a fan, tonight is must-see TV. Don't sweat the small stuff like winning or losing, because tonight it doesn't really matter. Let's see who Klinsmann plays, how the team plays and try to figure out what he likes and doesn't care for in this team. And tomorrow, let's talk about whether Klinsmann, and not the U.S., wins or loses.

Klinsmann's Raw Deal: Coaching in Shadow of a Legend Like Bradley

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:40:00 +0000

Jurgen Klinsmann faces this!

Jurgen Klinsmann ain't no Bob Bradley. He's younger, has slightly more hair and has won more World Cups albeit by the narrowest of margins, 1-nil.

Now Klinsmann is further burdened by having to coach Bradley's boys. Y'know, the team he molded into Gold Cup and Confederations Cup finalists. The boys he shaped that "won" their group at the 2010 World Cup and gave Ghana all it had before extra time was just too much for the boys in red white and blue. So much for Klinsmann to bear.

How will he top Bullet Bob's tenacity on the sidelines? How can he beat the way Bradley deftly moved players around the pitch like a Russian chess master? How, by all that's holy, will Klinsmann figure out how to shape the U.S. fullbacks or in heaven's name put the right forwards up top in big games. No one put players in the lineup who hadn't played serious game minutes in months like ol' Bob Bradley did. We're gonna miss that.

No what Klinsmann has to do is follow that legacy left by Bradley. He'll need to look confused, uninspired and dumbfounded at the worst possible moments. He'll need to shoehorn in Ricardo Clark whenever possible into the U.S. lineup. He'll need to put Gooch Onyewu front and center on defense even though big ol' Gooch hasn't played first-division soccer since high school. He'll need to play veterans for today, and screw tomorrow's team. He'll need to make every game a mentally anguishing adventure; y'know, fall behind 1-0, 2-0 in the first 30 minutes and then come roaring back to tie Guatemala, Honduras or, y'know, Algeria.

Following a legend is always the kiss of death for a coach or a pro athlete. Imagine being the focal point of the Chicago Bulls the year after Michael Jordan retired. Or following Bill Parcells or Bill Walsh after winning all those Super Bowls. Jurgen Klinsmann has been dealt a raw hand and I feel badly for him. Not only is he going to coach in Bob Bradley's shadow until at least the 2014 World Cup, but he has fewer than two weeks to get ready for his first live action, Aug. 10 against Mexico in Philadelphia. Poor bastard, his first game is a Gold Cup finals rematch against the dominant team in the region. Well, looking on the bright side, at least it's not in LA.

New FIFA World Rankings: No Christmas in July

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:35:00 +0000

Ho? Ho-Ho

The new FIFA world rankings are out. It's like Christmas morning when is I see FUBAR's, er, FIFA's list of the top national men's teams in the world. I mean, FIFA is such a credible, honest organization that when it speaks, I listen.

Much like the NCAA here in the United States, bringing order to the world's top national sides provides great value for hardcore and casual football fans alike. For example, who knew Spain would be No. 1? I mean, really, what have they done for us lately, aside from winning Euro, the World Cup and curbstomping the United States 4-0? Sure there was that messy 4-0 friendly loss to Portugal, but friendlies don't count -- or do they?

Apparently, the logic and mathematics behind these rankings are more convoluted than the Bowl Championship Series rankings in college football. Details, details -- back to the rankings.

No. 2 is the Netherlands, so we're holding fast to the most recent World Cup finish. Fair enough since the Orange have backed that up with six straight wins in Euro qualifying. Let's say it now: Spain-Holland in the Euro 2012 final? OK.

Three through five is where it starts to get interesting. Here we have Germany, Brazil and Uruguay. Hmm. Seems Brazil actually climbed one spot, despite nose-diving out of Copa America, its continental championship, that was won by, yes, Uruguay. Granted, Uruguay hopped up 13 spots from last month's rankings. I guess 14 is out of the question according to FIFA's brand of "new math."

Let's let the frivolity continue with six through 10: England, Portugal, Italy, Croatia, Argentina. I dare anyone outside of Buenos Aries to argue with a straight face that Argentina is a top 10 team right now. Go ahead, I'll wait. They can't pick a decent manager, much less a solid starting 11 that defends and scores. Wow. And England? At No. 6? This is the same England that has 11 points from five Euro qualifiers in a monster group with Montenegro and Wales still hanging around? Hmm. Croatia too? These guys with the C' thing at the end of their names cannot shake Israel in their group, never mind catch Greece at the top. Italy and Portugal probably should be higher on this list on reputation alone. That seems to be the criteria for Brazil at the moment.

Hop-skip-and-jumping around: Mexico is at 20, behind Montenegro, Japan and Ivory Coast. I need an explainer there. Chile (11), Peru (25) and Paraguay (26) had big leaps off Copa America, yet still languish behind Norway and Australia among others.

The point is that there is no point for these rankings. They're non-starters as far as discussion starters go. They subjective in some spots, objective in many others. The math behind it is incomprehensible, and worse yet, these things are actually used to seed nations in major tournaments.

Put a face behind these things. Make it a plain-English discussion and rank these teams according to what your eyes tell you, not what is subjectively entered into a computer application's form field. And if you're not willing to do that FIFA, then for God's sake stop using them for anything that matters. Like the rest of your corrupt organization, they're a bad running joke.

Starting Eleven European, World Soccer Blog Random Thoughts:

noreply@blogger.com (Starting11) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:30:00 +0000

Mr. Tevez married up

Here's another edition of Random Thoughts; no I don't have anything else to write about. Deal with it.

Um Carlos Tevez, please go away. Go play in Brazil. Go play in Italy. Go play in Argentina. Go play with yourself. You've become tiresome and a punchline. Your wife and kids don't like England, then make a call for chrissakes. Tell them to stay put in Argentina and cash the direct-deposits, or suck it up and move to Europe. Otherwise, I'm pretty much done with your whining. Play ball, score goals, make money and shut up. KTHXBYE.
And as for you Neymar. Call me when you've done something. Is there a bigger bust in the making than this Brazilian wonder boy? the kid might have all the skills necessary to be Brazil's next No. 10, but his runaway ego and immaturity will retard all progress until he gets his requisite reality check. Get in line next to Mr. Tevez and shut up.
How hilarious is Mario Balotelli's attempted backheel goal this weekend against the LA Galaxy. Talk about arrogance. Talk about stupidity. Talk about blatant disregard for your opponent and the people in the stands who paid good money to see your team play. And don't tell me he's just 20 and can be forgiven. No way. Roberto Mancini is my new hero for pulling this Rhodes Scholar seconds after this example of the worst kind of grandstanding. Sit down next to Tevez and Neymar and shut up; don't give Mancini lip either. You were wrong. Next.
Hope Solo is apparently going to win my informal poll--top right--about the Women's World Cup's biggest star. I like Hope. I think Hope is America's best female keeper. But Abby Wambach, who is currently second in the poll, is the best player on that team and delivered when it mattered most. That's what stars do. Abby made her PKs. Abby scored every time the U.S. needed a goal. That's a leader. That's a legend. Hope has some catching up to do.
Selfish time: Sporting Clube de Portugal has thrown in the towel and abandoned its philosophy of going with home-grown, young talent and has gone out and signed a truckload of foreign players to play for new coach Domingos Pacienca. They've scored a bunch of goals against a bunch of bad teams. They had their way with Juventus Saturday in Toronto. They're a threat for second in Portugal. What? Wait? I said this last year too after they blasted their way through the preseason and won that cockamamie tournament here in the U.S. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Check in with me around Christmas time on just exactly who is the fool.
I love the summer friendly season here in the U.S.; look at who's on tour right now in the continental 48 and Canada: Real Madrid; Manchester United; Manchester City; Juventus; Sporting; Clube America; CD Guadalajara; and Barcelona. Best part is that these teams are banging out stadiums across the country; big stadiums too. More than 50,000 for Revs-United; Philly-Real Madrid drew huge numbers as did Galaxy-Madrid. Don't tell me there isn't a hardcore soccer audience in America. We'll come for a good product. Listening MLS? Get off the franchise model; build your clubs stadiums; get on the world calendar; get rid of playoffs; integrate all your smaller leagues and create relegation and promotion. Do it.
In breaking news: FIFA is still corrupt. ...I personally cannot wait for next summer's Euro. It's better than the World Cup, just sayin ... How much is ESPN going to hype Saturday's ManU-Barca friendly as a Champions League rematch, and how much are real football fans going to snicker ... That said, if I had a ticket, I wouldn't toss it out of bed ... The U17 World Cup was pretty awesome; I just may have to watch some of the U20 World Cup coming up ... Kinda pissed Copa America wasn't available on my cable network ... Let's take a run at this: Champions of European leagues for 2011-2012: England - ManU; Spain - Barcelona; Portugal - Porto; Germany - Leverkusen; Italy - Milan. Damn that looks familiar.