Staton, The Obvious

Day 14: Digby

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Mon, 27 Apr 2015 13:07:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 14

Digby
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas
SOLD

I've already been requested to do more animal paintings. Who doesn't love an adorable pooch looking up at you??

Day 13: Ruby Slippers

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 15:26:00 +0000

"30 Paintings in 30 Days"
Day 13

Ruby Slippers
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas Board
$75

An homage go the Wizard of Oz, but a slightly more grown-up version. I think I'll do a full-scale version of this as well, along with an actual figure to fill the shoes!

Day 12: Taking A Break

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 15:21:00 +0000

30 Painting in 30 Days
Day 12

Taking A Break
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas
$100

I love cigars and scotch. It's the best way to unwind after a hectic day. And, like people, cigars have some very interesting colors and patterns in them, and each of those is very distinct. I think I could paint cigars for the rest of my life and never find one that has the same patterns and colors.

Day 11: The Dark Knight Watches

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Thu, 16 Apr 2015 20:28:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 11

The Dark Knight Watches
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas Board
$75

My first blur! I love doing new things! I'm looking forward to doing something similar in a larger painting.

Day 10: White Corset

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 03:57:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 10

White Corset
11" x 14"
Oil on Canvas Board
$125

The photo is a little bright on one side due to the paint still being wet. I'll take a better photo of it soon. At 11" x 14" this is the largest of the works so far. It's a lot of canvas to fill in one day, but by the end of the 30 days I should be able to do it with slightly more ease. Granted, it takes a lot of focus. I'm just on the edge of sitting inside a sensory deprivation tank!

Day 9: Florien

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Mon, 13 Apr 2015 17:49:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 9

Florien
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas Board
$100

I'll start posting these to the website soon. Doing a painting a day is definitely time consuming. Leaves little time for actual posts and admin work. But, it's all about the work, right?

Day 8: Seraphim

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Thu, 09 Apr 2015 13:11:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 8

Seraphim
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas
$150

Koi are such amazingly beautiful animals. I'm surprised at how similar koi and humans are when it comes to painting. Koi may have many different colors, but they hold the same luminosity, which can be difficult to capture sometimes.

Day 7: Riddle Me This

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 15:09:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 8

Riddle Me This
6" x 6"
Oil on Canvas
$50

Sometimes I think I'm sooooo clever. I should start wearing question marks on my clothing.

Day 6: Violin

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:35:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 6

"Violin"
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas
$100

This is a test painting for a larger work. I think this would look great as an 18" x 24" or larger. It has the right amount of detail and by manipulating the colors a little I can evoke a particular feeling. I suspect many of these smaller works will become larger ones. This is most definitely on that list.

Day 5: Bobbie

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 14:27:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 5

"Bobbie"
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas Board
$75

This is my pal, Bobbie. I'm one of artists who are lucky enough to have a very high number of beautiful friends who also happen to be quite adventurous and/or outgoing. I never have a shortage of subjects to paint, in various styles, personalities and effects. I'm a lucky artist, indeed!

Day 4: Serenity

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 14:46:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 4

"Serenity"
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas Board
$75

I have a lot of koi photos from SecondMom's koi pond. I think quite of few of them will find the light of day in the next 26 days!

Day 3: Mocha

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sat, 04 Apr 2015 14:30:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 3

"Mocha"
8" x 10"
Oil on Canvas Board
$75

Is is terrible for an artist to say that they have impressed themselves?? Probably. But at least it's not because of "the innate beauty of the piece" or because of some "masterful composition created by the placement of" whatever. I don't even know if any of those apply. But what I am impressed about is how I've been able to loosen up and not feel like the work is incomplete.

Even a month ago I would have angsted over this piece for another 5 or 6 hours, blending and glazing and scumbling.

This is why every artist should experiment.

Day 2: The Symbol

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 11:31:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 2

"The Symbol"
6" x 6"
Oil on Canvas
$50

Anyone who knows me knows I love The Batman. In fact, we're both very similar. He likes bats. I like bats. He sits alone in a cave looking at a computer, I sit alone in a room looking at a computer...drinking scotch...watching Netflix.

Anyway, this was an incredibly fun piece to do. There will be plenty more, I'm sure.

Day 1: Pensive

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Thu, 02 Apr 2015 21:18:00 +0000

30 Paintings in 30 Days
Day 1

"Pensive"

8" x 10"

Oil on Canvas

$75

30 Paintings in 30 Days kicks off with a small portrait that I'm calling Pensive. This is of a pal of mine who wanted the honour of kicking off the event. This is a great warm up piece and has definitely put me in the right head space to paint faster and with more focus.

Admittedly, this one started off very hard. I wanted to add more detail and double check measurements and do a lot of thumbnails and color studies. But that isn't the point, is it? It took much longer than it needed to. But, this is the keystone piece to this. I often have such a painting when I go through a new phase. Pensive is that piece, and for that reason it is likely to be one of my favorites.

Movies with Geraud: The Other (1972)

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 20:57:00 +0000

"There were others. Now, there is only THE OTHER."

Dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmm

This movie is old as shit, and by that I mean almost as old as me. Let me set the stage: the lights are out. It's nearly midnight. The cool dog is lying at my feet. The other dog is in with TheWife. TheWife has gone to bed. By "gone to bed" I mean she has her noise cancelling headphones on and is binge watching Sons of Anarchy. Somehow she still manages to sleep well.

[Editor's Note: You are about to watch The Other. With the lights out. At midnight. Hypocrite. --TheWife]

If you haven't seen the trailer, here it is:

I have my pjs on. They are red and black checked with a T-shirt that reads "Trust me, I'm a superhero!" I have on the most comfortable slippers ever. And, because this isn't quite Bridget Jones enough for me, I am also drinking a raspberry flavored coffee with one-and-a-half sugars in it.

I am man. Hear me roar.

The movie starts and it starts with whistling. Hell yeah! Whistling on a black screen is the very definition of "creepy." Unfortunately, it goes to some very high pitched flute and violin thing that make me think I'm about to watch a movie with Ryan O'Neal in it. I sigh. This might not be as good as I hoped.

The movie starts like all movies from the 70's. We spend about 2 full minutes with a panorama shot of some woods. Finally we see a little kid looking at a ring like he's waiting for a genie to pop out of it. Or like it might turn him into Ryan Reynolds. I suspect this ring is going to have some significance.

Then the whistling starts again. The kid runs and hides in a barrel. Good move, kid! No one would think to look for you in the one barrel in this whole forest!

Unfortunately we are both wrong! The kid's twin brother finds him! A five minute game of chase begins with the two brothers. It's fun to watch because the kids have the athletic prowess of Gummi Bears. They bop and shimmy their way through the woods like they were doing the Humpty Dance. I start humming The Humpty Dance in my head as they run around. So far, this is the best movie I've ever seen.

Eventually they get into some shenanigans. Holland and Niles need to show us which one is the good and which one is the bad. Niles keeps a nervous eye out at a barn door while Holland breaks a pickle jar. These kids are BAD NEWS! The maid, or their grandma, or maybe a farmhand, hears it and charges in after the boys. She grabs Niles, calls him Holland by mistake and starts giving him a helluva switching! She is dragging him back into the barn to clean up when she sees two rats eating the spilled pickles. She flips her shit!

Now, I saw Psycho. I know the 70s were more frightening than two rats eating pickles. But you'd think this was the most terrifying thing since the second Darrin.

Fast forward to...John Ritter?? Holy shit, he's so young. And alive. He says about 3 lines while we watch Niles eat and set up the backstory: Sick mom, maid, harpy old aunt, living John Ritter, and a very sweet Niles. Where the hell is Holland? This is suspicious.

Ah, there he is. He's hiding in the barn in the dark. The two boy chat and we get some more back story. Good. I was worried that I didn't know enough about the world they lived in!

That ring we saw earlier was grandfather's ring, then father's. Father died, Holland got it because he's the oldest (but only by 20 minutes) and he gave it to Niles. Phew! Glad we got that shit covered. It was killing me!

More importantly, there's something wrapped in a blue hanky that Holland also gave to Niles. They won't tell us what it is. It's small and sort of long. I suspect it is an old wrench. Maybe the handle of an old pot. Oooh, I know! It's a tiny Tabasco bottle!

Whatever it is, the boys get busted! They "ain't supposed to be playing in [that] old barn" and some snotty Dudley-type kid is threatening to narc on the boys. Well, boy. Holland manages to hide. This kid is a total ninja. Stupid Niles just stands there and gets caught with his ring and his blue-hanky-mystery-object. I think it might be an old fish.

We're up to 20 minutes. In that time:

Holland kills a rat.

Niles gets a flashback.

Mom comes out to breathe some fresh air. Wow-ya! Momma's hot.

Niles and his babushka play the Great Game, which consists of mind raping a crow. But we get some foreshadowing. Something about a pitchfork, a hay and some pain in your chest. Hmmmm...

Did I mention that mom is a stone cold fox? Is that proper 70's vernacular?

A few minutes later, we see that little Dudley kid is playing king of the mountain. He climbs to the top of the barn and jumps into a pile of hay. We've seen him do it before. I didn't care about it then and I don't care about it...

Oh shit!! That kid just jumped and landed on a goddamned pitchfork! Where the hell did that come...Ahhhhh, the crow dream. That's some Game of Thrones shit right there. And sure enough, that little snot-nosed bastard is as dead as Tony Danza.

[Editors Note: Tony Danza is not dead.]

That's either a pitchfork about to kill an innocent child or Wolverine hiding
in a haunted corn maze.

Everyone is off to the funeral and Niles is in his room. He's about to unwrap that blue-hanky-mystery-object. I'm betting it's some kind of jerky. Maybe...

Ewwwww!! It's an old finger! Gross!

Babushka tells Niles to tell Holland to apologize about those damned pickles. So, Holland goes over to the old lady's house dressed as a magician. He gives her the pickles and is performing a magic trick. He takes off his hat and is about to pull something out of it.

"Is it a rabbit?"

"No," says Holland. "Guess again." Then...voila! Rat!

The old lady dies of a heart attack.

This Holland is a little bastard. No wonder no one other than Niles ever talks to h....ooohhhhhh.

The old lady is apparently dead for a week before anyone notices. But they notice the smell. "Oy, the smell!" Babushka takes Niles over there to find out what's up and BOOM! Dead old lady! Niles runs back to get help. He runs like she swapped legs with a zombie. It's painful to watch.

Fast forward. Apparently hot mom has found the tin with the ring and the nasty finger in it. The boys plot to take it back. Hot mom is outside crying. Niles, the sweet one, goes out to console her. He takes her up the stairs and then confronts her about the tin. She's holding the ring and wants to know how he's come to have it. There is no way this bodes well.

We find out some key facts. Holland gave the ring to Niles. Hot Mom is surprised by this revelation. She asks when. Niles says in March, after their birthdays. This makes Hot Mom's eyes go insanely wide! Something isn't adding up here.

This has become the foundation for every actor whose motivation is:
"Someone is saying some shit that doesn't add up!"

Then, Holland pops out and screams "I gave him the ring!" He and Hot Mom wrestle and...wait a minute. I thought I had this figured out. How the hell can...

Eh, there she goes. Mom goes tumbling down the stairs, being sure to hit every flower pot on the way down. Niles goes running down the stairs calling for babushka. Where the hell is Holla...ahhhhhhh!

Hot Mom is confined to a wheel chair and apparently can no longer talk. So much for someone to explain what the hell is happening!

Babushka makes Niles admit to what's happened, including the old dead woman. Niles says Holland is bad, but he doesn't want to be. He tries to do the right thing, but he can't help it. Babushka's like, "fuck this!" She snatches Niles by the arm and drags him to a graveyard. She makes Niles play the Great Game with her, and then he looks at a headstone and spends approximately 3 minutes describing a decaying corpse. And then, the great reveal!

First...

If you don't like spoilers you should stop reading this now. I'm about to blow your goddamned mind. You might think you have this figured out, but trust me. You don't. There's no way you could. Sherlock Holmes couldn't have figured this out. By that, I mean the Robert Downey Jr version. I'm sure the Benjamin Cumberbatch version could have figured it out, but he's an evil genius.

[Editor's Note: There were books before the movies. Please read the books.]

Take a deep breath. Here comes the reveal...

Bitch, it's HOLLAND'S GRAVE!! That fucker is dead! He died right on his birthday!

Jibba-whuuuuuuuuu?

I did not see that coming!
I also don't know how big metal bird fly in air.

Flashback: Holland is about to throw a cat down the well. The cat turns the tables and, like that chick from The Ring, Holland finds himself at the bottom of the well. But he's dead. You can tell because he has wonky leg. No one lives when they have wonky leg. And we find out it's not daddy's finger. It's Holland's. Niles cut that shit off with some garden shears. Gross!

There's 30 minutes left. I'm pretty sure we have everything covered. But, there must be something else. I hunker down for the finale of this movie.

His step sister brings home a daughter, the groundskeeper gets drunk, a storm is a-brewing, and Hot Mom cries...

...and then someone takes the baby!! They think it's the old crazy groundskeeper. We know better, don't we?

A search party gets called in. Dogs, dudes, church people, Niles closes himself in the barn. He starts calling, "Holland! Where is the baby?" Over and over again. I think, "why the hell would THAT be the tag line of the movie? Why put that in the commercial? Talk about spoilers!

Sure enough, they find the baby. It's a very Se7en moment. Some guy named George brings in a barrel from the old groundskeeper shed. It's still closed up, so apparently George is just guessing at this point. He must have called Derren Brown or something, though, because he is spot on! We find the baby. The baby is in a barrel submerged under water or wine or pickle juice. I don't what the fuck that is, but I also can't believe they showed it! That's fucking baby hair floating at the top of that barrel. You don't show that kind of business NOW, in 2015!!

I get teary. George has the best "I just found a dead baby" face in the history of movies.

I feel your pain, George. I, too, am appalled and grossed out!

Holland/Niles has killed the baby. He's in the barn talking to himself. Babushka knows what happened. She goes in, gets the confession and decides to take care of things once and for all. She dumps gas all over the barn while Niles/Holland is in the cellar. He thinks she's an angel. Then, he smells that gas. You know what's about to happen when someone starts dumping gas on you. She's about to set his little ass on fire and he knows it!

In one last twist, instead of lighting and and running (like I would have done) she actually spreads her arms and jumps down into the barn's cellar with Niles/Holland and WHOOOSH!!!

Everyone goes up in a blaze of glory. Cue the end credi...wait. What's this?

Hark! What is this mysterious lock doing here in the remains? Has someone escaped?

The movie ends with Niles/Holland looking out the window as some guys clean up the burned up barn.

Dum dum duuummmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Wow. That was awesome! Hopefully you watched it with me. This was a good date, right? Let's do it again soon! I won't even try to put my hand on your knee.

Now, let's keep our fingers crossed that Hollywood is working on a remake. Maybe starring Gillian Anderson as Hot Mom and one of these Cagney and Lacey chicks as babushka. I'm sure there's another Fanning kid in the mix somewhere to be Niles/Holland. And that dead baby can be played by Flav-A Flav.

The Lovers

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 15:22:00 +0000

The Lovers
18" x 24"
Oil on Canvas
$900

I stand back and look at this painting. I feel an immense about of pride toward all of my works, much like a new mother must feel when she spent all that time carrying and then birthing a new born babe. Exactly.

[Editor's Note: He is not serious. Though, I had to ask and make sure. Sometimes you can't tell with him. He's...well, you've read the blog. -- TheWife]

But this one. This is my youngest. This is The Lovers. This is the tarot card that has made single people grin with excitement whenever it gets pulled. I dare say that any fake tarot reader worth his or her salt will have be able to pull this card at will, along with the Wheel of Fortune and Death. You get some asshole in your tent, bringing his or her negativity and trying to shanghai your mojo, you reach into your sleeve and BAM! Death card, bitches!

Probably not the final design of the cards.
Would love some input!

I'm statin' the obvious here, but nothing shuts an asshole's mouth like getting the Death card. Hell, if doesn't even mean what you think it means, but Johnny Wiseass doesn't know that. He'll shut his trap and listen like a good boy, hoping you'll tell him it's ok.

But, The Lovers. That is a good card, in both meaning and appearance. I've seen some beautiful images of this card. But no matter what artist creates it, in whatever style they work in, the image is always uplifting.

Unless it's reversed, 'cause then you're fucked!

Got a favorite tarot deck? Or a favorite card? I'd love to hear about it. Maybe your's will be next!

What's Up With Rectangular Holes?...or Sam and Dean Aren't So Hot!

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 20:56:00 +0000

I don't watch much television. Not anymore. There was a time in my life that I watched 3-5 hours of TV a day. It was what I did after work. I had anywhere from 15 to 20 different television shows that I watched regularly. Needless to say, I didn't grow much during those years. That was a good 3 years of my life that I will never get back. But, who didn't want to be cool like Tony Soprano? Who didn't want to have a group of friends like Rachel and Monica and Chandler that you could sleep with occasionally? Who didn't want to kill a vampire, or drink coffee in Stars Hollow, or have a shape-shifting meatball as a teammate?

But, there was something that I noticed about my TV heroes. Something that no one had pointed out to me.

My TV heroes never actually watched television!

Blog Reader: So, wait. You're telling me that Max from Dark Angel didn't watch television?

Me: That's right, Blog Reader. Not once that I can remember.

In fact, in all those shows, you know who WAS watching television? The victim of some crime, right before they got killed. In the X-Files, if you were watching television before the opening sequence it just meant that a fluke man was about to turn into smoke and suck your lungs out of your face! [Edit: I think he just combined two episodes and the plot of Lost into that one description - TheWife]

Trust me. This bastard is about to die a very horrible death!

In Law and Order, if you were watching television then someone was about to break into your house and bludgeon you with an ax handle...or rape you if this was SVU you were watching. John Crichton might have watched TV in that one episode of Farscape when he took Aeryn back to Earth to meet his family, but that was right before he left Earth again to save it from alien attack.

Willie Nelson's heroes may have always been cowboys, but my heroes never actually watched a bunch of television because they were out doing shit to save the world/get the girl/rescue some dude/pay the rent/discover worm-hole technology (again)/stop Mojo Jojo from being a total dick!

Not to say that I don't watch television AT ALL. I do. I watch a few shows. I mean, I'm not a total freak or anything. In fact, that leads me to the original reason I came to the blog today.

See, I started watching Supernatural. I know I'm late to the party. But, I never had a thing for hot brothers and the only people I knew that really liked the show were ladies. They always had a great argument for watching the show, but they ruined said argument by swooning at the mention of The Brothers.

THEN...
"Geraud, you would LOVE it! There are vampires and werewolves and shit!"
"Really," I would say. "I love that shit!"
"Yeah. And, eventually, they talk about angels. That's your damned nickname, son! How could you not like it??"
"Yeah," I would agree. "I LOVE shit with angels in it!"
"You would love this car they drive. You used to have a '76 Cutlass, right?"
"I got so much tail in that car," I would proclaim. "This show sounds like it has everything!"
"Yeah. And the brothers...<swoon>"

After that, I would have to spend about 20 minutes reviving the woman who was telling me about the show. Let's just say that it was awkward. And it didn't only happen once. It happened constantly. It was worse when two or three women were telling me about the show. Mass hot-feinting is a pain in the ass.

I started to assume that the show actually sucked but women had to justify the reactions that their loins produced. Kind of like when I tried to convince my then-girlfriend that I watched Xena: Warrior Princess because it was good TV and not because of hot chicks in bikinis swinging swords.

Oh Gabrielle. I miss our weekly trysts!

So, I avoided the CW version of Fifty Shades of Grey and instead tried to figure out why Gil Grissom was always so grumpy despite getting work around cool ass murders all the time.

NOW...
Now I'm watching Supernatural with TheWife...shit! Hang on a second. She just feinted in a pool of her own saliva.

Ok, I'm back. So, we're watching that show that I call "Drinking With the Winchesters." I'll explain that one in the next post. I love the show. We watch a couple episodes with dinner as our quality time. Then, TheWife goes to bed dreaming of becoming a ghost so that she can be chased by the whole Winchester family while I plan my workouts for the next day because I do not feel good after watching these hot people hunt demons while TheWife had her head resting on my soft, pillow-like gut.

Which leads me to the one real problem I have with the show. This whole post as led up to this one issue:

Why the hell do they dig rectangular graves???

In the show they spend about 30% of the time driving around, another 15% of the time having Dean hit on girls, 5% of the time showing the world their hard bodies, 15% of the time crying about something they have to do or already did or one of their parents did, 15% of the time being snarky, and the remaining...carry the one...seven plus...umm...20% of the time digging up graves and pouring salt in them.

It's that last 20% that bothers me. See, somehow they always dig that fucking hole PERFECTLY. I mean, right on top of the grave they are about to desecrate. Not only are they always spot on, which may not be that hard since there IS a grave marker on top of them, but they also dig the hole in a perfect rectangle.

"Hey Dean, do you have the T-square? I really need to finish this up."

Look at those corners! You couldn't square this corner up any better if you were a god damned carpenter! They dig straight down, too. Those walls don't have even a quarter degree of slope! They dig like the dwarves of god damned Middle Earth.

Have the writers ever actually dug a hole before? It sucks. Hard. And digging a neat hole is so much extra work that it's not even worth it. And they put all the dirt in a neat pile, too? No! I say, no way! The Winchester boys are NOT that perfect! And I will not accept these perfect grave holes. I might not be able to do anything about those pecs, but I will not stand by and have my hole-digging compared to Sam and Dean's, too. No sir!

Now, if you will excuse me, we have the season 2 finale to get through. Some shit just got real!

Gallery Hunting is Hard Work

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 16:59:00 +0000

I am an artist. And some would say you aren't a professional until you sell regularly. Others would say that the moment you become professional you aren't really an artist. TheWife would say: call yourself whatever you want as long as you cover your share of the expenses!

[Edit: I would never say that, and he knows it - TheWife]

While I'm talking about differences of opinion in the art world, let's talk about galleries. Some people say that you aren't an artist of note if you aren't in a gallery. Some people say that a gallery is often a waste of an artist's time and that they can manage their own marketing and exposure.

Let me tell you the path I chose. First off, an artist is anyone who draws, paints, sings, writes, dances, snaps, plays an instrument, or has sex in a particularly graceful way. Period. Make money or don't. Actually, don't make money on that sex part. I think that might be illegal. But, by all means, do it with all the grace you can muster!

I think that a gallery is better than not. At least, it has been for me. The reason is two-fold. I have been in a gallery and admittedly they did not do much marketing for me. But hopefully you can get into a space that does some work for the artists. They hold shows and have extensive mailing lists and hold regular events.

The other, bigger reason that I like being in a gallery is that they did provide a nice venue for my art shows and the place give me some credibility. I have been paintings for many years. There are a lot of questions that I get repeatedly. But, perhaps the most asked question is "Where can I see some of your work?"

I could say, "check out my website." And I often do. But, this often brings about a look of sadness on the part of the listener. Nothing sells a piece of art like actually being in its presence. Being able to recommend my gallery to a client has made a big difference in my sales over the years.

I haven't been in a gallery for some time now, and I can really tell a difference. So, in the past month I have begun hunting for gallery representation. Which leads me to the point of this blog post.

Gallery Hunting is Hard Work!

If you read posts on how to submit work to a gallery you will get a list that's longer than Cher's wig hair. The truth is. the list is short. Very short.

1. Find a gallery that sells work similar to yours.
2. Send them your portfolio

Already I can hear people typing responses. "You can't just send unsolicited stuff to a gallery!" I see this all the time. I've heard it a lot. Hell, I even know it to be true. The gallery I was in was through a personal referral.

But the galleries don't know this! I have poured through dozens of galleries, partcularly in New York because I think it's time to spread my wings. So, I look through gobs and gobs of gallery sites. And most of them do not sell my sort of work. You've seen my work, fellow adventurers. That is some niche shit!

But, you gotta look through them all anyway. And then I find one. I find a gallery that sells figurative work. And not just old people sailing, or a guy shooting a tiger. Real figurative works! I get excited. I get psyched. I've been looking through gallery sites for approximately 73 days and nights. And then I find one that might be a match! It's like deciding you're going to be single your whole life, buying 7 cats and then meeting that special person while you're ordering take out Chinese food. Magical!

I call, because you don't just send your stuff in. I want to talk to someone, tell them how much I love their gallery, see if they are having any events, maybe ask about submission rules. I pick up the phone, call the gallery and get a very pleasant person on the other end. They are always pleasant.

"Hello," I say. And then, I do what I do best...talk! By the end of our conversation we are laughing like old friends. And then I ask about submitting work. No matter how much laughter there is, or how much they love me, or if I know their third cousin Patrick from an event I went to in Boise, I get the same answer.

"Great. Just send your portfolio to a guy named John. He's at John@I'llGetToItEventually.com. He looks at all submissions. And he only does it in whatever month is 8 months from now. What month is it?"

"Umm...December."

"Great, He'll look at it in...June...July...August...August! When I see him I'll tell him that joke you told me. That was hilarious!"

And that is it. Same result. Every time. Guaranteed.

I wonder if they can tell I'm sitting in my underwear when I call. Maybe I snort when I laugh. I don't know. Maybe every portfolio should be sent with a $100 gift card or a photo of the wardrobe malfunction of the week.

Truth is, even as we speak, John might be finally looking through my portfolio and getting ready to call me. Maybe this is working. Maybe I'm going about it exactly right. But, don't believe for even a second that this is easy-peasy.

Has your gallery hunting gone easier? Worse? We'd love to hear your experiences.

New Year's Resolutions...Again

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Tue, 30 Dec 2014 16:18:00 +0000

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. Most of you know this because I talked about it earlier. I also don’t have a bucket list. But, that isn’t to say that those things are bad. It’s just that it’s my belief that if a person wants to change they don’t have to wait until the beginning of the year to do so. If you realize on December 3^rd that you want to lose some weight, start on December 4^th. You don’t need to wait a month to get your life in order.

There’s a similar response to issues that I see with many of my associates and friends. I call it the “Monday Start Motivation.” Here’s a variant of a conversation we’ve all had, maybe in these exact words:

Lord Digglesworth: I have been eating like a vagrant this past fortnight, and lately I feel the bubbleguts each night before bed. It is rather uncomfortable.

Baron Narrowshanks III: Yes, old boy, I know what you mean. Perhaps we should do something about it.

Lord Digglesworth: Agreed. I can no longer push the limits of my gastrointestinal fortitude. I shall begin eating well immediately!

Baron Narrowshanks III: I agree! We shall forsake these meat sweats by utilizing a healthy eating regimen. Tut tut!

Lord Digglesworth: Here here! We shall start immediately!...on Monday!

Baron Narrowshanks III: Naturally, on Monday! Today being only Tuesday, we shall take the Rolls to a wonderful drive-thru dining locale where we can have the largest grease patty that the world has ever seen!

Lord Digglesworth: Don’t forget the bucket of fries, old sport!

Baron Narrowshanks III: Never!

Today is the 30^th of December. If you have a Resolution for the New Year, I say start it today! If something comes to mind on the 17^th of January, start it then. If you come up with an idea on a Wednesday, hop to it! Mondays are there because we needed to start the work week SOME day. It doesn’t mean everything in your life has to start then, too.

There is a caveat. Some people are not disciplined. If there was no Monday or no New Years, it is quite possible that some people would never grow! If you need a starter gun to get going, then Monday is just as good as any other. That is, unless you actually own a starter gun. Then, use that!

Now, I can push this idea for the next eight years, but let's be honest: we tend to move with the crowd. Most Americans make New Year's Resolutions. And they will inevitably ask you what yours are. Most of us are too self-conscious to say, "I don't make resolutions because I am awesome as-is!" That's ok. Make a resolution. Making one is better than not growing.

Just, try not to wait until next year to make the next big change in your life.

Portrait Q & A with Geraud Staton

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 03:49:00 +0000

Why do you have so many non-traditional portraits in your portfolio?

I don't do very many traditional portraits for two reasons. The first is that traditional portraits are boring. Now, if you're getting your first portrait done, it can be very exciting. Especially a family portrait. But, a portrait has very little different about it than a photograph. If you're going to come to my studio and sit like you're taking a class photo we may as well just snap a few pictures and let you put them up on Facebook. Instead, I want your portrait to be amazing, and inspiring, and most of all exciting!

That leads me to the second reason for my non-traditional portrait style. A portrait does have its purpose. It shows a visual reflection of what you were. When you get your traditional portrait it will be a great visual likeness of the person you were one to six months ago, when you initially posed. But, my goal is to portray not only the person you are inside, but the person you want to be in the future!

So, people want to be angels or gods or warrior princesses?

Not quite. People want a wide variety of things. When we meet to discuss your portrait my job is to learn about you. To learn your loves and joys, the things you want out of life and the successes you've had. And then, my job is to work with you to come up with a visual representation of that. I did a portrait of a young lady who was one of three fostered children in her family. She said that life as a foster child was hard and that it could make you into a very jaded person. But, she and her two brothers fought through it and became powerful adults. Her portrait was titled "The Children of Loki," and it had the three monstrous children of Loki from Norse mythology. The main person was the portraitee. It was important that she see a reminder that a part of her is strong and is able to do things that most people can't because of her upbringing. The other part of her can be human and compassionate. It was important for her to be reminded that she can be both.

Portrait added with permission of the owner

Are there any rules for your portraits?

There are. Mostly, the painting needs to show who the client wants to be in the future. What do they want out of life? Are they career focused or family oriented? Are they looking for something in particular out of life, or is there some personality trait that they aspire to displaying? There have been times while sitting with a client and asking them questions about who they are that we've had to stop working on the painting idea and actually start hashing out their life's purpose. Sometimes it just takes an outsider to help put your life goals into perspective.

Once we have an idea of who the subject is, we have add more focuses. I call them focuses, anyway. They are little symbols and icons that help link the viewer to the painting. They give you a little more buy-in. That's important. None of us are so simple that one sentence could sum up what we want for ourselves. So, your portrait has symbols. They don't have to be obvious. They just need to be able to focus you on one aspect of what you want. Or, one aspect of who you currently are.

That's the third rule. You cannot always be looking forward. That way lies nothing but unrest. The person you want to be can be wonderful, but the person you are today has also done wonderful things. It's important to look at your portrait and not only see what you hope to be, but also what you are. That makes you visualization that much stronger.

Does a portrait like this really help a person become better?

This is no longer the realm of hocus pocus. There is a great deal of research that discusses the link between visualization and success. (Australian Psychologist Alan) Richardson's famous experiment with 3 groups of basketball players is the most used argument. One group would practice throwing free throws for 20 minutes every day. The second group would visualize throwing free throws, but no actual practice was allowed. The third group did neither. The astounding results, as most of us know, is that the group of visualizers improved almost as much as the group that only practiced!

Vision boards and even Pinterest are great examples. Images and drawings help the brain respond with much deeper interest and attention than some 1000 word affirmation. And a portrait that you can relate to, that can show you, even in mythological proportions, what you can be is incredibly powerful!

Do you have one of these portraits?

I have a couple actually. The latest one is in my bedroom. I look at it every morning.

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If you're interested in a portrait quote from Geraud, just contact him at gerauds@gmail.com or at 919-423-7841

How To Start Your Day: The Artist's Way!

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Fri, 10 Oct 2014 15:20:00 +0000

I awoke for the second time this morning. The first was when TheWife left for work. A flurry of harried activity culminates with a bedside kiss, and then she's gone with but settling dust and pug hair trailing behind her like fairy glitter. I am left alone in the darkness with 4 hours of slumber tucked into my belt, which isn't enough even for me. I catch another hour.

At the second wake up, I lounge. I don't like that space between sleep and wakefulness, or the hypnopompic state. There's a new word for you, fellow adventurers, thanks to AussieDiver. Use it three times in a sentence today.

So, even though I'm not a fan of the hypnopompic state, I AM a fan of starting the day off mired in my own thoughts. Today was no different. I opened my eyes a few minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off. I looked at the ceiling and considered my favorite sexual positions, wondering if they had changed at all since last time I did this. Turns out they have. I spend a few extra minutes matching my top 5 positions with songs that seemed appropriate before deciding it was time to work out. Naturally, I have Bruno Mars' Gorilla in my head as I get up.

I do a little Wing Chun to warm up, followed by some simple body weight exercises. My shoulder screams at me like an angry drunk, with about as much coordination. I torture myself for just under 30 minutes. This puts me in a bit of a sour mood, but then I hear Gorilla in my head again and life slips back into technicolor. Plus, it's breakfast time! I do love food and music!

Thick cut bacon and a 2 eggs scrambled with sauteed onions and peppers. Breakfast of champions. I eat a banana just to add something sweet to the mix. I watch an episode of Gotham while I eat. it isn't bad, but it's not that interesting, either. I'd rather spend time in my own head, so I turn it off about 20 minutes in and go back to thinking.

Once I've put my favorite Metallica songs in order from 1 to 10 (am I the only guy who thinks Until it Sleeps is better than One?), I head into the studio. Today I'm working on Temperance, a painting in the Tarot:Major Arcana series. I'm recording it, because it's been awhile since I've made a speed painting video.

I paint for 4 hours, listening to Bossy Pants by Tina Fey. All in all, not a bad way to spend the morning.

How do you start your day? Are you frantic? Chill? Comatose?

Movies with Geraud: Mercenaries

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sun, 05 Oct 2014 02:42:00 +0000

I know, fellow adventurers. A few days have been skipped. But, it's only because I was sicker than an Ebola-plagued flu patient with an immunodeficiency disorder. And in that time the caveman controlling my diet was mostly silent. I had chicken noodle soup and buttered rice and ginger ale.

I say "mostly silent" because there was a time I would have had a lot of macaroni and cheese (only Kraft, with that silver packer of neon yellow cheese goo, thank you very much) and fast food. So, I would say major improvement.

So, you may not get to hear about my food or exercise regimen, but, you, dear reader, get to sit with me while I watch the greatest Expendables rip-off ever: Today, we're watching "Mercenaries."

I am curled up on the couch, at approximately 1 AM, unable to sleep due to the constant cough whose only purpose must be to facilitate the very messy escape of my lungs through my torn and ravaged throat. I cover myself with a blanket. Naturally, I leave room for you to join me on the couch.

Immediately, the movie breaks bad. According to the movie itself it isn't called "Mercenaries." It's called "Expendables 3.0." What??? Is this from the Expendables franchise? How could it not be good?

I sit up a little, no longer expecting a total shit-show. This might be worth a damned.

The President's daughter is on some sort of "I'm looking out for the safety of women in foreign lands" visit to a place who's name isn't real. Granted, my geography is shit, so it could have been a country near Jamaica. Whoever this woman is, she is a bad actor. Bad bad. But who cares? 3 minutes in and she's already in a gun fight. People are trying to take her hostage. People with accents that I can't place. Are these Samoans?

Whoever they are, the country is led by Brigitte "I banged Flav-A Flav" Nielson. Also known as Brigitte"ewww, gross!" Nielsen. They take POTUS's child back to headquarters where we hear a rousing speech about how shitty America is. We're apparently a society of whiney, arrogant...

Oh shit! The daughter just grabbed a knife and put it to Red Sonya's throat! Wow. A very, very rubber knife. I mean, crazy rubber. She may as well be holding a stick of Big Red to Brigitte's throat. Not that it matters. Brigitte is out in a second and killing some random woman to prove how bad ass she is.

Back in the USA, land of whiney arrogant folks, Cynthia "About Twelve People Remember Me From the 80s" Rothrock is recruiting a bunch of killers, a la The Dirty Dozen. Except none of these killers can act. We meet Cassie Clay, played by Zoe "Stuntwoman-To-Everyone" Bell. She's tough and has apparently kicked the shit out of her commanding officer and wound up in jail. She never explains why she did it. I'm going to bet it was for some noble reason. She's going to be the leader of the group.

We meet Kat Morgan, played by Kristanna "I Was In Burn Notice...No Seriously" Loken. Three of you might remember her from the Sci Fi hit Painkiller Jane. When I say hit, I mean it was on Sci Fi back before it was called Syfy.

We meet Mei Lin Fong, played by...who the hell is this? I think I saw her on an episode of Human Target. Now THAT was a good show. Especially Guerrero. That dude was...

Is that Vivica Fox?? Sorry. Vivica A. Fox. The A stands for "awww...I really need the money." I would have sworn she could act better than this. Holy shit, she's terrible. Also, she's going to be the traitor. Her back story couldn't yell "I'm the traitor" any louder without the viewer actually seeing her betray stuff.

The girls from Mercenaries. Sorry, Gyrrlz from Mercenaries!

I may have taken a quick nap. Or, it might have just been boring for a few minutes. I might have also been playing Puzzles and Dragons on my Samsung Note. Either way, when I get back the Mercs have gotten into a gun fight sneaking into whatever country Mrs. Ivan Drago is in charge of. Morocco?

They aren't sneaky enough. Not when Vivica goes off-script and starts shooting. And this gunfight is EPIC. Think the A-Team, but with people who have never learned to shoot a gun before. Wait, that might have been the A-Team. Vivica is shooting like she just put on gang colors. And Painkiller Jane blinks whenever she pulls the trigger. But, after 3000 rounds get fired and 3 guys get killed, the battle is over. Horray!

With no transportation, our femme fatales walk casually through the streets of...um...You know...I think maybe that's Perth. I'm sure of it. Perth has a lot of huts and shit, right? Is Perth a country? Actually, I don't think it is. I'm going with Ayers Rock. I KNOW Ayers Rock is a country.

So, the girls are walking with their guns slung on their backs dressed in black like they just left the Trinity tryouts for the Matrix 4: Neo Knows Tae Bo. Suddenly, some local girl pops out and picks their pockets. She steals a radio and our heroes chase her around for awhile. When they catch her she gives us our deus ex moment of the movie. She knows how to get into Red Sonya's compound! Bazinga!

After some great exposition, the Expendababes steal a truck with some missiles in it. They use those missiles in the old "we stole your truck full of missiles, but we'll give it back if you will only hire us to join your crew, even though right now you have the President's daughter as a hostage and there is no way you'll agree to this" play. Naturally, Mrs. Ivan Drago let's them in. I mean, why wouldn't she?

The Mercs infiltrate and manage to seduce and tie up every man on guard duty and manage to get the President's daughter rescued. Apparently all men are just horny beasts waiting for some military chick who's been wearing leather for 3 days to come and put the moves on them. Good thing, too. Looks like the Mercenaries are going to pull this off.

OH SHIT!! Vivica "Don't Call Me Copperhead" Fox just changed sides. I did NOT see that coming!

This is a face you can trust.

Zoe and the POTUS kid make a break for it. They run to the top of the building...which is what any trained soldier would do. Unfortunately, just before they grow wings and fly away (or whatever the plan was) the ruler of Uzbekistan shoots Zoe in the shoulder, blasting her off the building. They capture the rest of the girls and leave Zoe for dead on top of a truck. A truck that she fell on top of. A truck that, for some reason, drives away. A truck that just drives out of Brigitte's compound and out into the countryside with a presumably dead mercenary on it.

Uh. So...that just happened. But, we don't have long before she decides to go back in and rescue the President's daughter again. And maybe save her friends, even though they should be long dead by...oh. Nope. They are all alive and tied up. About to be tortured. I think the Riddler may be coming in to ask them some questions. WHY AREN'T THEY DEAD?!?!?! Anyway, Zoe is about to go Liam Neeson up in here!

Zoe breaks back into the compound. This time she's alone and wounded, but she's got anger on her side. She kicks ass! And, for some reason, no one wants to shoot her. Dudes just run through the street or jump out of buildings and try tackling her or punching her or tripping her. I shit you not. Some guy just tried to trip her! She beats that dude's ass! Ouch.

She gets in and rescues EVERYBODY. Including some women who were going to be sold into prostitution. She releases them, gives them guns, and sends them on their way. She and her Merc team goes one way, the freed prostitutes all run in the other direction. Zoe says, and this is a direct quote:

"I say we go PMS from hell in this place." Naturally, the Mercs agree.

In the meantime, the freed prostitutes literally make it around the corner before they get mowed down by one of Red Sonya's henchmen. Holy shit!! I mean, every last girl is dead! They just got out of their cells! I mean, they are decimated. By a handheld Gatling gun! Wow. I...I mean... That's fucked up!

The mercs can't be bothered with this.Now a car chase is happening. This section is obviously brought to us by Jeep. Car chases. Bullets flying. No damage to the cars. Pristine jeeps tearing through the city of...Dubai, maybe? But, the Mercs make it to an awaiting American plane. There's no pilot there, so one of the ladies has to fly them out of there. So, they do.

But wait! There's more!

Brigitte is driving up, trying to catch up to the plane before it can take off. What if she does? There's nothing she can...wait a second.

Is there a...

You will not believe this. There is some sort of strap hanging from the plane. The plan is one of those huge C-17s. But for some reason it just has some random strap dangling from it, like toilet paper stuck to your shoe when you leave an airport bathroom. Oh, and the tail gate is down. Sure. Who doesn't fly with the tailgate down?

Brigitte grabs that strap and the plane takes off and everyone breathes a sigh of relief until Brigitte pulls her ass into the open tail of the plane and just starts blasting a 9mm Beretta all over the place. I should rewind and count, but I am sure she fired no less than 73 bullets, and only PainKiller Jane got hit. Shot in the gut! Her exposed, six-pack gut! And she gets shot out of the plane. Zoe is sad...but she must fight on!

She and Brigitte are fighting. Who do you think would win: Xena the Warrior Princess's stunt double or that traitor chick from Beverly Hills Cop II?

Well, you'd be wrong. Zoe is getting her ass beat like a high-school nerd getting on the wrong bus during football season. Fortunately, Brigitte isn't the only one who learned that rope trick. PainKiller is back! She uses that strap to lasso Brigitte and...ahhh.

Look there. See that? Remember those missiles they ladies stole? The ones they gave back to Brigitte in order to join her gang? Well, there they are. They are on this plane somehow. What?? And now, Brigitte is stuck to these missiles with that mystery strap hanging from the back of a C-17 with it's tail section open. Zoe pushes a button and the tailgate opens just a bit more so that Brigitte and the missiles fall out of the plane...and on to Brigitte's compound! Bull's Eye!! The compound explodes in a fiery hell of crap CGI!

By the time to credits roll on this thing I am exhausted! The girls have a slo-motion walk into the sunset and I give a standing slow-clap to this wonder of modern cinema. Of course, I'm hopped up on cough syrup and Sudafed, so what do I know?

Primal: The First Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Mon, 29 Sep 2014 01:08:00 +0000

This weekend was harder. My cravings finally kicked in with a vengeance. I woke up with them. All I wanted was pancakes and syrup. But, I fought off the craving successfully by eating some chicken salad that I made a couple days ago. All was well.

Then, I went out to run a few errands. I picked up a few art supplies and drove past McDonald's, which I don't usually care for at all but was suddenly calling me like the Sirens calling to Ulysses. I stuffed my ears with Bon Jovi and sang at the top of my lungs until I drove past it. Then, I ran into the Bojangle's. There, my weakness for all things that start with Bo, including Bo Diddley, Bo Derek and Bozo the Clown!

I was...good? I only got a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. I avoided the fries and the tea. I decided that was doing great and didn't kick myself too hard.

In the evening I met some friends for karaoke. I had a scotch and soda, along with 2 beers that I milked through In the Jailhouse Now, When You Were Young, and How Far We've Come.

Sunday was MUCH better. The cravings for fatty foods went away, but the desire for sweets picked up where the grease train left off. I was rummaging through the house looking for cheap chocolate, butterscotch candies, or those unwrapped mint candies my grandmother used to have on her kitchen counter. The gross ones. The ones I never would have eaten under penalty of death. If that bowl had been in my vicinity I would have scarfed the whole thing down.

But, alas, it wasn't, so I settled on a piece of Orbit gum.

Primal: Day 6

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sat, 27 Sep 2014 02:02:00 +0000

I have been cooking all day. That sounds like a complaint, but in truth I'm very pleased with myself.

I should qualify. When I say I've been cooking all day, I don't mean I've been slaving over a hot stove like a 1960's stepford wife. What I mean is that I've actually cooked all of my meals today. At home. With real food.

Breakfast was simple. Bacon and eggs. Nothing crazy. I ate a couple hours after I woke up.

For lunch I made a variation of a Cuban pork chop, using cumin, lime juice and garlic. It was amazing. And, it was easy. Whipped the whole thing together in about 15 minutes. Ate it with a sliced up pear and a half of an avocado.

For dinner I separated a whole chicken and grilled it up using a new recipe from Allrecipes.com. Again, it was quick. And, even more importantly, it was delicious. Had some wilted spinach on the side. I'm using the chicken back and legs (neither of which I really like) to make a Parmesan chicken salad for tomorrow.

Earlier today I took Kosmo, Koolest Dog in the World, for a 3.5 mile walk. A good full day, but a healthy one, too.

I feel great. My feel less groggy. I have some spring in my step, though some of that could be mental. Not that I care. Spring in step is spring in step. Even had a little wine with dinner. The whole bottle? Nope. Stopped at two glasses, and that's only because TheWife didn't enjoy the wine very much.

I still haven't weighed. I don't want to know. I want to see if this thing makes me feel better, and if it helps my health issues. If I find I'm not losing weight as fast as I would like I might bail on it. So, I'm forcing myself to remember that this isn't for weight loss. It's for my actual health.

Has anyone out there had any good experiences with Paleo/Primal? Or bad experiences? Let's hear them all!

Primal: Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (Geraud Staton) — Sat, 27 Sep 2014 01:47:00 +0000

Today wasn't as good as the others, but it wasn't terrible either. I started eating a Marie Callender frozen meal that I had in my freezer. It was a chicken and pasta dish that I usually love. I know it wasn't Primal, but I also hate for food to go bad and it needed to get eaten.

I tried. I got about a third through it. It was not good. It could have been all in my head, but it seems that five days is a little soon to have reprogrammed my brain already.

Whatever the reason, I threw the rest of it in the trash can and grilled myself some zucchini and onions. And my stomach was happy.