Stay-at-Home Mothers by Choice

Carrot-Butternut Squash Soup

2011-11-29T08:08:00.000-08:00

Fall is here. The leaves are already fallen, days are getting short and Christmas decorations are popping out everywhere, which is a sure signal that cold winter days will come soon.

And what better way to deal with cold weather than to have a bowl of yummy warm soup?
This is one of my family's favourites. It is easy to make, inexpensive, and best of all low calorie and very nutritious.

You will need:

1tbsp olive oil
1 small onion
4 medium carrots
1/2 small butternut squash
2cups chicken broth or 2 cups of water plus 1 tbsp of vegeta
3-4 celery sticks
1 large potato
salt & pepper to taste

Peel and cut all the vegetables. Warm the olive oil in a pot on medium temperature. Lightly fry the onion until translucent, add cut carrots, celery, potato, and squash then pour chicken broth or water into the pot with vegetables. Add vegeta, salt and pepper according to your preference. Bring it to the boil and simmer until the vegetables are soft. Serve as it is or blend it when cooled off. Garnish with fresh parsley or cilantro. Enjoy!

Healthy Family Activities : Hiking

2011-09-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

All health experts agree that the reason for obesity and health problems related to it is a sedentary lifestyle. Hiking is a great way to get off the couch and help the entire family to build habits that will keep healthy not only the kids, but also their parents.

Couple of years ago we discovered a wonderful Provincial Park close to where we live and hiking there quickly became one of our most favourite family activities. Not only do we get a great exercise, but it also reconects us all with nature. Children are excited to discover different species of plant and animal life living there and learn to appreciate the natural world.

As professing Christians we believe that God made this world for our blessing, and that we should not abuse it. And as we walk and admire the beauty of His handiwork, we praise Him for it in our hearts. So, it also becomes a spirtual experience for us as well.

Being out with nature has many benefits, I would encourage you to try it with your own family as well. Happy hiking!

Summer Food: Quinoa Bean Salad

2011-07-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

This is one of our family favourites any time, but especially during the summer. It is easy to make and very tasty healthful bite. You can pretty much use any vegetables, fresh and steamed that you have in the fridge at the moment with any type of beans.

In this salad, I used chickpeas, cooked and cooled quinoa, red pepper, green onions, fresh tomatoes, corn,cucumber, steamed green beans and carrots. You could also add feta cheese and/or olives. Top this with home made dressing of olive oil, salt, pepper, lemon or lime juice and dried oregano and voila!

It's great on its own or with ready chicken, or meat patties. Quick and simple recipe that will be asked for again and again. Wonderful choice also for entertaining vegetarians as quinoa has the most complete protein among all vegetable food sources.

Enjoy!

Home Education a.k.a Homeschooling

2010-11-26T17:29:00.000-08:00

Many of us stay-at-home mothers are home also to educate our children. This is known as "home education" or "homeschooling." It is a legal option that parents in countries such as Canada or United States have.

If you are not familiar with this type of education, you might wonder why parents do that. Well, for many reasons. Some parents might feel that the public school system does not meet their children's educational needs. Others do this because it is more flexible. Children do not have to change schools every time parents have to move, if one parents' job requires moving to another city, or even another country.

Every family might have very different reasons. I decided to homeschool for the sheer benefits of it that I saw in homeschooled children of my friends, but soon I found out that it provided better opportunity for my children to develop their unique academic, as well as emotional needs.

They showed very early interest in learning and discovering the world around them, and so they moved through various developmental stages quite fast. Both of them spoke in full sentences and knew alphabet by the age of two.

So, you might say that I homeschooled from the very beginning. My two daughters, Estera and Grace, are nine and eight years old at the present. In the following posts, I will share some things I learned about home education during all these years.

Deliciously Healthy Sugar Free Banana Bread

2010-07-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

One of the things I enjoy a lot in being stay- at- home mom is the time to cook and bake. There is nothing like eating good home made food, especially if you want to eat healthy. I like to try making new things that are good for the health as well as delicious. It gives me the ability to control the ingredients.

Buying ready foods does not always make it possible, especially when you want healthy treat. We all like banana bread, but don't like to eat so much sugar, so I decided to modify traditional recipe to make my own.

Here is the recipe :

2 cups of organic, whole wheat flour

1 cup of Splenda

1tsp of baking powder

1tsp of cinnamon(optional)

1tsp vanilla extract

2 eggs

1/4 tsp of salt

1/4 cup of butter

2 tbsp of canola oil

5 medium ripe bananas

1/4 cup of raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl mix flour, salt, cinnamon, baking powder, and raisins. In a separate bowl mix splenda with softened butter and oil, add eggs ans vanilla, mix and add bananas mushed with fork, mix again. Then add banana mixture to the flour mixture and combine gently. Pour the dough to lightly greased loaf pan. Bake 64 to 80 minutes, or until inserted tooth pick comes out clean.

Enjoy!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

2010-05-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to you all. Today, I'm reminded of how precious a gift motherhood is. It's truly the highest calling and sometimes we might feel overwhelmed with responsibility that raising children comes with.

Yet, on a day like this when children show us their love without remembering any of our faults, we should remember that we don't have to perfect to be good mothers. Our children need only feel our love, care, and honesty in everything that we do. There always will be areas in which we need to improve, but as long as love is overriding principle in our homes, it will all be well at the end.

So, relax fellow Moms and enjoy everyday of being Mom :)

Equally Shared Parenting

2010-03-31T10:38:00.000-07:00

I think that even though many of us live in a family model thought of as traditional, with man working full time an a woman staying at home with children, we do practice equally shared parenting where both man and woman have equal say about everything that pertains to their lives.

It is the case in our family and I did not even realize that until I read a book about equally shared parenting. My husband has as much to say about how to raise, dress, and educate our children as I do, just as I have as much to say about how we are going to spend our money as he does. Just because I spend more time taking care of our home and children than he does, doesn't mean that he is not involved and sharing all the burdens with me. The same goes for financial issues, just because he spends more time earning the money, doesn't mean that he will not get me involved with all the decision making when it comes to spending and saving them.

I think that society at large looks upon homemaking with disdain because it assumes that women who stay at home are automatically burdened with inequality; left alone with all the parenting and house cleaning tasks while being excluded from financial decision making, which is not always the case.

Many women who work outside their home still have to deal with all the parenting and house cleaning at home after work, so having a career doesn't take away lack of equality. Equality has nothing to do with staying at home or getting a job outside, but it depends on mentality of each individual couple.

It is important that both parents are involved in parenting even when only one of them stays at home most of the time. Children need to know that both Mommy and Daddy have the same authority, that they should respect and obey both parents.

My Path to Fulfilment

2009-05-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

Those who criticize stay-at-home mothers often argue that staying at home robs women of the chance to reach fulfilment in life. With me it is the very opposite. When I finished my High School and had to choose a career path, I had no idea what to do. My interests were very broad and I just couldn't decide whom I wanted to become. My father warned me sternlythat if I did not act soon being a mom would become my profession and of course he meant it in a very negative way that outside of being a mother I would never accomplish anything in life.

His words partially came true as not long afterwards I met the love of my life, a wonderful man who not only is my loving husband and the father of my children, but who supports me in fulfilling my potential.

Being at home gave me a unique opportunity to find out whom God made me to be, to write, study, and enjoy time with my children. It is something I would never be able to do, had I just gone out to "get a job."

I think many of you should also see the time you stay at home as an opportunity to do something more meaningful with your life than just working for the sake of working. Maybe there is a hobby that you always dreamed of pursuing, but never had the time;or you would like to change your career path, this is great time to do this. And if being at home for your family is what gives you most joy and satisfaction, then there is nothing wrong with that either.

Emotional Health and Parenting

2009-01-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I listened to the lecture by a popular Canadian Medical Doctor and the author of several books,Gabor Mate. He talked about psychological make-up of addicts and he said something that encouraged me as a stay-at-home mother and parent.

He said that people in modern times become so much more vulnerable to addictions when they lack close relationship with their parents; emphasizing that it doesn't pertain only to people who had dysfunctional parents, but also to those who's parents spent most of their time away from the children,working.

A small child or even adolescent doesn't think in terms of having his financial future secured; he just knows that his emotional needs are not met and may even come to conclusion that his parents don't love him since they don't spend time with him very much. And it is that belief of being unloved that drives people towards addictions of various kinds later on in life.

It made me feel vindicated. What I am doing and many of you are doing is investing in our children's emotional health and their future. Saving money for our kids' education is not everything because they will just waste it if they are not emotionally healthy when the time for College or University comes.

I'm not saying that working parents are bad because they work and parent at the same time. If they can still make time to meet their children's emotional needs, then it is great. However, if they can't, then they should not be afraid to decide for one of the parents to stay home.

Enter Your Child's World

2008-12-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

Being at home full time during our child's formative years gives us great opportunity to create strong bonds with them that will sustain the relationship in many years ahead, especially when any type of crisis comes.

We can enter our chid's world by playing with them often, watching their favorite shows, and by talking with them on regular basis on their level. It seems like something simple that every parent does,but many don't do. I hear often from children who complain about their parents not playing with them.

Few years ago, when my daughters were two and three years old, my friends daughter also came sometimes to our home. I usually played games with them and had loads of fun doing it. Once she said to me, "I really like to come here because you play with me; my Mom never plays with me."

It was a said statement to hear. We parents sometimes can get so busy to take care of our family's physical and material needs that we don't have any time left to meet their emotional needs. If we make effort, however, to meet these needs we will avert many future problems in the relationship with our kids.

They need to know that we know and care about them. They want to feel we understand them, then they will come to us for support even during their teenage years. So, let us sometimes be kids again and just have fun !

Reality Discipline

2008-08-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

Besides wonderful precious moments with our children, we have on daily basis also to discipline our children. It takes a lot of wisdom and energy to do it in a positive and constructive way.

One of the best books I have ever read on discipline is "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" by Dr. Kevin Leman. It represents the kind of parenting style that we have adopted in our family. It helps us not only to guide our children as they grow, but also to build deep relationship with them.

Most people think of discipline as something negative like yelling, spanking, and punishment. But it doesn't have to be that way. Dr. Leman makes the case that consequences should replace yelling and punishment because this is the way the world works. If your child as an adult is irresponsible at work, he will simply lose his job;his boss will not be yelling at him and begging him to do what he should.

It is very practical book for all parents, and especially helpful for the mothers who left their careers to be with their children. These children are not used to having their moms at home, and will try to test their boundaries with them.

If you are in this situation, then this book will help you to bring structure to your family.

All the Best!

Precious Moments

2008-07-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more fulfilling than feeling a gentle kiss of my child on my cheeks every morning, or having her come up on my lap and say, " I love you Mommy, you are the best in the world", with her beautiful smile on her cute face, and say it without any particular reason.

It just melts my heart and makes me forget all the difficulties of working at home full-time. The greatest thing about it is that I enjoy so many of these moments each day. The depth of relationship we create by spending so much time with our children is one of the greatest rewards of stay-at-home lifestyle and of motherhood in general.

Making Time for Yourself

2008-06-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

Just because we are with our kids full time doesn't mean that they have to be the center of the universe. As a matter of fact, when we make time for ourselves, we can do our mothering much better.

If your husband is able to relieve you on regular basis , or if you have other family members to help you out, it is great. But it is also important for your kids to know that they need to respect your private time daily.

They can be thought independence even if you are most of the time there for them. From the time my two daughters Estera and Grace were babies, I would teach them to let me do things around the house, read, pray or talk on the phone. I would of course never ignore them and spend time cuddling, tending to their needs, reading , and playing with them. However, I also encouraged them to have some time on their own (still within my view), playing in their crib, crawling around, play together, and now that they have grown; they read books or study when I need to tend to my own needs.

It gives me much needed brake and helps them not to be overly dependent on my constatnt attention giving them the idea that they need to give other people space. We shouldn't allow ourselves to become the slaves of our children just because we are at home full-time with them. We can still develop our personal gifts and talents that could even translate into work out of home. There are so many possibilities that we can explore, if we don't get discouraged by distorted views of others on what it means to be a stay-at-home Mom.

It's a Full-Time Job !

2008-06-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Being a parent and especially being stay-at-home mother is a full-time job. Any mother can bear witness to that fact. And it is not easy to this job well. We become nearly everything, accountants, early childhood educators, sometimes teachers, child psychologists, nutritionists , and cooks. Who said it doesn't involve any risks?

It is a huge risk. We can raise succsesful and emotionally mature people as a gift to the society; or we can create a problem in a society by releasing to it immature and very hurt people who fail because their charracter was never developed properly.

Now I admire the women who do this and also have a full-time carrer on their hands. They have two full-time jobs! Not every woman can handle both well. I'm one of them. That's why women who work outside their family should never judge the one who decides to stay at home and vice versa.

The Pressure We Face

2008-04-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

In my seven years of being a stay-at-home mother, I have been in many odd situations. When I meet a new person at the church, laundry room, the playground, or any social meeting people often ask me , "Where do you work?", as if there was no other option but to be a career woman.

And when I tell them that I made a choice to be with my children full time the conversation is over. Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who do respect my choice, but I can't help to think how wrong it is for the society to "look down" on us.

Did you ever encounter such situations? I think those of us who live in a community where there are many women who chose to stay at home don't feel as much pressure, but in my area I know of very few women who do. This makes me more exposed to the pressure to conform into the working mother mold, as if caring for our children wasn't any work at all, or as if it is something to be ashamed of. Later they wonder why our children are so happy and well behaved. This is not to say that all children of working mothers aren't happy and don'y behave well because many working mothers do manage to pay a lot of attention to their children, despite of handling a full time job; I admire these mothers very much, but htere are some who cannot do both, and as a result, their children do feel uncared for because the child care providers just cannot do the mothering.

My heart goes out to these women who try to do both just because the popular culture says that they will be worthless if they become "house wives", and it has very sad consequences for their families.

Popular Myths about Stay-at-home Moms

2008-04-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

Most people have a mental picture of a modern stay-at-home Mom as an unatractive woman with perpetual rolers on her head who does nothing except watching soaps on TV, but reality is very different. If anyone wants to know what the daily life of these mothers really looks like, one must hear about it directly from them.

Women who choose to be with their kids don't have time for soaps because they are too busy investing their time into not only the life of their children, but also into getting involved in the community, and into developing themselves as individuals.

The view advocated by known feminist philospher Linda R. Hirshman, in recent years , who says that caring for children doesn't require great intelect and is a waste of woman's potential is also one of these myths.

Every mother knows that raising children who are going to achieve sucsess in life takes much more than giving them food, clothing them, and making sure they are going to have money for their post secondary education, though these are very important indeed. The multiple pressures of modern life that they are going to face requires them to be emotionally healthy and of a strong character. And to raise children who will have these necessary qualities takes a lot of intelect , wisdom, and time on the part of both parents, especially mothers.

Why Are We Doing It

2008-03-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

Staying at home to raise kids is considered crazy for many people these days. It is in part due to the fact that so many women are raising kids alone, or are the ones who bring the primary income for their family. The costs of living a comfortable modern life is rising steadily and so many women don't really have a choice to stay at home even if they would like to.

Feminists say that they are concerned about women's financial stability and it is understandable, but not every woman is in an unstable marital situation, and not every woman is comfortable with leaving her kids with other people most of the time even if they are family members.

I was raised by my grandmother with whom I have much stronger bond than with my own mother. It is not that I don't love my Mom. The cruel fact is that I haven't spend enough time with her to foster that bond.

As mother, I just wasn't prepared to share my kids in this way with anyone. Then as our kids were growing, we discovered that they are gifted. School system doesn't seem to favor gifted children, so I decided to home school them, and pretty soon my old passion for writing resurfaced again.

Staying at home allows me to foster both my mission to make sure my kids become all they were made to become, as well as, my personal growth in the area of writing and I'm just so glad that it works this well for me.

Every woman who chooses to stay at home has her own personal reasons for doing so and anyone who really cares about freedom of women should respect their choices.

Why I Started This Blog

2008-03-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

In the past, women didn't have a choice to work outside of their home, nor did they have part in the politics and other aspects of public life. I didn't start this blog to crticize women who choose to be out in the workforce, or to imply in any way that they are not "good" mothers because of doing so.

I started this blog to promote more tolerance and understanding toward women who choose to stay at home with their children; who are often criticized by the media and well meaning femenist activists for their choice. Some of the critics even implied that to stay at home with children is equal to wasting one's personal potential and intelect, thus sparking so called "Mommy Wars".

In my opinion, every woman has a right to make her own desicion, and shouldn't be looked down upon or dictated to by anyone. I will share here my thoughts on this divisive subject and want to invite all of you to join in and share your thoughts as well.

And I do hope that our sharing here will eventually cease unnecessary and many times unjust conflicts between women and mothers who all want the very best for themselves, their families, and their children.